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Speaker 1: Rooking jewels second day. A lot of guys will try

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Speaker 1: to pump up their job a little bit when they're

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Speaker 1: on a date. You know, say they make a little

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Speaker 1: more money than they do. Maybe say that they're a

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Speaker 1: manager or something when they're not. Maybe say that they're

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Speaker 1: even employed. Who knows, Kevin, who's on the phone today

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Speaker 1: for a second eight update, might have gone a little

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Speaker 1: too far in trying to impress the girl. He's interested

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Speaker 1: and he wants us to call to day. Kevin, how

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Speaker 1: are you? I'm all right, guys. How's it going good? Kevin?

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Speaker 1: First of all, what do you do for a living?

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Speaker 1: I work at home? Deco? Okay, okay, Kevin, John, what

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Speaker 1: did you tell the girl that you want us to

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Speaker 1: call today that you do for a living? I told

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Speaker 1: her that I might play a little bit through the

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Speaker 1: Seattle Sounders. Kevin claimed to play for the Seattle Sounders,

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Speaker 1: the Major League soccer team. So that's a big lie

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Speaker 1: trying to tell a girl that you're a professional athlete

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Speaker 1: when you just work at home depot. Yeah, Kevin, why

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Speaker 1: would you think that would ever be a good idea?

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Speaker 1: You know what? It just all kind of happened. I

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Speaker 1: was with my buddies and we were kind of joking

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Speaker 1: about it, and one of them kind of dared me,

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Speaker 1: and I did play soccer. I once went to an

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Speaker 1: open tryout founder so like they were like, yeah, you

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Speaker 1: should do it, you should do it. I did it,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I kind of crossed that point of

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Speaker 1: no return where like one line becomes another lie and

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Speaker 1: it just say it's just snowball and get out of control,

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Speaker 1: and pretty soon you're their number one score. And she's like,

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Speaker 1: I've never heard of you before. You're like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: never said no, no, no, I never said that. I

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Speaker 1: never said that I was stupid enough to do it,

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Speaker 1: but like I wasn't stupid enough, like because I know

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Speaker 1: she can like go look it up or whatever. So

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Speaker 1: I told her that I had been placed on injured

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Speaker 1: reserve when you're when you're rehabbing from injured reserve, like

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Speaker 1: they put you on a special practice with and you

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Speaker 1: practice with the team as you're rehabbing, but you know,

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Speaker 1: show up on the roster. So you guys had extensive

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Speaker 1: conversations about this. Yes, oh my god, because she was

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Speaker 1: all into it. And then so obviously you know she's

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Speaker 1: all into it, Like what am I gonna do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you can't. I have a friend who actually looks like

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Speaker 1: Sydney Rice. He used to play the Seahawks, big tall dude,

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Speaker 1: like long braids and everything else. And he'll tell girls

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Speaker 1: that he is Sydney Rice and they'll believe him, and

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Speaker 1: he'll just hook up with him that night and then

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Speaker 1: never call him the thing. It's not like I said,

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Speaker 1: I was Richard Sherman, Like, like I went with the Sounders.

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Speaker 1: I tried to go just a little more little key

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Speaker 1: than the Seahawks. It's probably a smart way to go. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so she was obviously impressed by the fact that you

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Speaker 1: were professional athletes. Did you end up hooking up with her?

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Speaker 1: What happened? Yeah, Like she was all into me and

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Speaker 1: we were hooking up, you know, and then it was

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Speaker 1: like she kind of kept dropping hints about like she

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Speaker 1: would totally go back to my place. I don't live

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Speaker 1: in a place that I think a Sounder would live in,

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Speaker 1: like necessarily, Hey, major league soccer salaries are pretty low.

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Speaker 1: If you got a one bedroom apartment, you might be

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Speaker 1: all right. But there's no there's no pictures of me, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's no framed uniform on the wall. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So I was all worried

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Speaker 1: about that, and like it kind of ruined my night anyways,

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Speaker 1: because all I started thinking about was how to keep

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Speaker 1: this lie going, you know, and and where she was

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Speaker 1: just a cool girl and we could have had a

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Speaker 1: good time. At what point in the night was the

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Speaker 1: regret really setting in. I guess it hit me when

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Speaker 1: like I actually started liking her. I mean at first

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, she's hot and like whatever, but

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Speaker 1: then I actually like liked her when I was talking

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Speaker 1: to her, and I was like, oh my god, like

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Speaker 1: I want to go out with this girl again. But

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Speaker 1: like it's hard enough. He's just going for like twenty minutes.

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Speaker 1: How could I you know, Eventually I got to tell

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Speaker 1: her the truth. Yeah, let's say you guys get together

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Speaker 1: and you guys fall in love and get married. At

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Speaker 1: some point you're gonna have to tell her that you're

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Speaker 1: not an athlete. Yeah. So how did everything end with her? Well,

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Speaker 1: the night was great, and like her friends were kind

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Speaker 1: of like lingering and kind of like not necessarily knowing

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Speaker 1: if she wanted to be left alone or not. And

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Speaker 1: so then like I tried to play it all cool

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Speaker 1: because I couldn't take her to my place anyway, but

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Speaker 1: I was just like, you know, it's right, Like I

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Speaker 1: got I got physical therapy in the morning, and like

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Speaker 1: I gotta get up early, and so she's like, oh, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you get your rest and everything. And I was like

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Speaker 1: this is awesome. And she was all into me, and

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Speaker 1: she like kissed me good night and you know, and

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Speaker 1: she was like call me. And so then the next

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Speaker 1: day I texted her. I was like, hey, I had

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Speaker 1: a good time last night. It's really fun hanging out.

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Speaker 1: Like let's do this again soon. And I didn't get

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Speaker 1: anything for like almost twenty four hours after I texted

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Speaker 1: her the first time. So like the next day I

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Speaker 1: got a text back and she was like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to talk to you. Do you think she

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Speaker 1: found out she googled your name or something, Well, I

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Speaker 1: don't know, Like I mean, she would have had to

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Speaker 1: have done like some extensive research, because like I gave

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Speaker 1: her so much crap about I was on injured reserve

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Speaker 1: and then they placed you on a practice roster and

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Speaker 1: like I'd take your name completely off the internet. Like

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Speaker 1: I've asked my buddies too, if like any of them

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Speaker 1: said something to her friend and now they're not telling me,

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Speaker 1: but like, but you do know that she does not

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Speaker 1: want to talk to you because the text that she

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Speaker 1: said you said, yeah, she made that kind of clear.

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Speaker 1: But here's where I'm calling you, guys, Like I honestly

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Speaker 1: believe like you strip all that stuff away, and we

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Speaker 1: actually liked each other, okay, And like I think if

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Speaker 1: we could just get to the point where she was

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Speaker 1: willing to go out with me again, like I think

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Speaker 1: it would be cool, and I think, you know, everything

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Speaker 1: might be fine. So when we call her and get

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Speaker 1: her on the phone for your second date update, how

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Speaker 1: do you want us to play it? Then? Am I

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Speaker 1: going to tell her that I'm calling for a sounder? No? No,

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Speaker 1: I think get her on the phone if you guys can,

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Speaker 1: and like that's the first step, and then like don't

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Speaker 1: tell her right off to that. But like if she

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Speaker 1: does know already, then you know, I want a chance

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Speaker 1: to apologize. But like if she doesn't know, then maybe

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Speaker 1: just like help me get to the second date. And

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Speaker 1: then you know, on the second date, I can like

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Speaker 1: tell her myself and do the right thing. All right, Well,

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Speaker 1: we'll play a song, come back, call her and get

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Speaker 1: your second date update. Okay, sounds good, guys. All right, man,

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Speaker 1: because frooking Jubil in the morning, I'll admit I've probably

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Speaker 1: told a liar too on a first date to try

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Speaker 1: to impress a girl. I've never done what Kevin, who

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Speaker 1: was on the phone with us right now, has done.

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Speaker 1: He told a girl that he plays for the Seattle Sounders.

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Speaker 1: So I've never claimed to be a professional athlete went

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Speaker 1: on a date, probably because nobody would even believe me.

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Speaker 1: If I finds a little bigger in stature, maybe I

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Speaker 1: would try it. I don't know, Kevin. Are you about

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Speaker 1: ready to call Jamie? I guess so? Okay, And the

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Speaker 1: last thing she sent you was a text that said

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Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to you. The point of

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Speaker 1: this is to find out if she went home and

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Speaker 1: googled you and found out that you weren't and that's why.

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Speaker 1: And if she didn't find that out. You don't want

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Speaker 1: me to tell her. You want me to just see

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Speaker 1: if I can get you a date so that when

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Speaker 1: you do go out with her, you can break the

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Speaker 1: news and say I'm sorry I lie to you. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that is so complicated the truth. All right, Well, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna get her on the phone right now, get your

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Speaker 1: second day update. You're ready? All right? Man? Here we go,

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Speaker 1: so excited to talk to a professional athlete. You want

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Speaker 1: to signature later? Hello? Hey, is Jamie there? This is Samie.

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Speaker 1: Hey Jamie, how are you? This is Jewil from brook

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Speaker 1: and Jewil in the Morning. How are you? Um? I'm okay,

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Speaker 1: And you're calling me because I'm calling you because you

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Speaker 1: recently went on a date with a listener of ours

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Speaker 1: and he liked you a lot, but you actually sent

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Speaker 1: him a text saying that you don't want to ever

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Speaker 1: talk to him again. He's an athlete. His name is Kevin.

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Speaker 1: He plays for the Seattle Sounders. Um, not only talking

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Speaker 1: about that apple? So whoa okay? But can I tell

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Speaker 1: Kevin why you think he's an ale? Because he's a guy?

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Speaker 1: Well what do you mean by that? I was talking

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Speaker 1: in my roommate and I told her, you know, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm at this guy, Kevin, he plays for the Seattle Sounders.

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Speaker 1: Right when I say that, my roommate says, I made

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Speaker 1: out with a guy last week, Kevin who plays on

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Speaker 1: the Seattle Founders. I'm serious, And that's what I said

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Speaker 1: to her. I said, are you kidding? Me. I described

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Speaker 1: what he looks, right, and she goes, yeah, that's Kevin.

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Speaker 1: You guys both made out with the same guy that

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Speaker 1: plays for the Sounders. That's crazy the way it is.

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Speaker 1: How I see it as this guy will just make

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Speaker 1: out with anybody, and he says a total player. Well, Jamie,

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Speaker 1: you know some professional athletes can be like that. I

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Speaker 1: don't know Kevin that well. I'm friends with a couple

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Speaker 1: of the Sounders. I don't know Kevin like that though,

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Speaker 1: but I do know that he liked you a lot

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Speaker 1: and he wanted to see you again, and he was

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Speaker 1: kind of shocked when you sent him that text. I

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Speaker 1: know that he wanted to get in my pants. I

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Speaker 1: know that he wanted to get in my roommates passed.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I think it's disgusting, and second the

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Speaker 1: ball it's embarrassing for me, Jamie. But can I ask

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Speaker 1: for a quick because you said that they just made out.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're single, you're dating, you haven't made out

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Speaker 1: with anybody else in the last month. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't know every single thing they did. I didn't even

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Speaker 1: really want to hear it after that. I mean, like

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Speaker 1: I got enough at the Shifts that I know that

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Speaker 1: this guy is a total creep and that I don't

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Speaker 1: want anything to do with it. Do you feel like

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Speaker 1: he lives up to the rumor of like how athletes

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Speaker 1: just are players? Doubt absolutely. He didn't do anything to

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Speaker 1: show me otherwise if I mean, I already told him myself.

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Speaker 1: I already told him to leave me alone. And I'm

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Speaker 1: not interested. I know, but he didn't know the reason.

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Speaker 1: That's why you want us to call you. But now

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Speaker 1: that he knows the reason, I think we're all good.

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Speaker 1: Then how do you know the reason I just told

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Speaker 1: him I wasn't interested. Well, that's because he's listening right now. Hey, Jamie,

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Speaker 1: how's it going? Seriously? Here's the thing. I really like you,

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Speaker 1: all right, and yeah, you apparently really liked my roommate too.

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Speaker 1: You apparently really like any girl of all and looks

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Speaker 1: half well. Oh whoa, whoa, hang on, don't you think

209
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Speaker 1: you're going a little far with this? Yeah? I'm probably

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Speaker 1: not going far enough. I mean, you made it out

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Speaker 1: with my roommate, You made out with me in the

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Speaker 1: span of like, oh, who knows how many girls you're

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Speaker 1: making out and sleeping with? Okay, Well, hang on a second.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I didn't sleep with your roommate, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't sleep with you second of all. Like I

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Speaker 1: didn't know you when I met your roommate. Like, it's

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Speaker 1: not like I went out with you, and then I

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Speaker 1: went out with her the next night. And I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: but I really like you, but I was making out

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Speaker 1: with this other girl. I'm trying to put myself out there.

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Speaker 1: I actually do like you. What I think is that

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Speaker 1: you're just one of those athletes who just thinks they're

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Speaker 1: and goes around like they're the king of everything. You

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Speaker 1: can make out with anyone. You can play with whatever

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Speaker 1: girl you want, play with their emotions, play with their home,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not interested. I don't need that in my life.

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Speaker 1: You don't even know me. I'm actually really nice, really

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Speaker 1: sincere really honest guy, Jamie. Don't you don't know anything

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Speaker 1: about him. All you know is that he plays for

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Speaker 1: the Sounders. He's a professional athlete, and he meets people

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Speaker 1: all the time and probably has had dates before. And

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Speaker 1: he's really honest, Like he said, yeah right, I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess that's all I know. But I just wish

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Speaker 1: that won. The whole situation wouldn't have happen. And that

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Speaker 1: it's just I guess that it would have just come

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Speaker 1: out differently. Yeah, and it's different. You know, when you

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Speaker 1: meet a guy like Kevin who's a professional athlete, he's

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Speaker 1: got girls throwing themselves at him, you know, And maybe

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Speaker 1: that's something you need to think about if you want

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Speaker 1: to go out on another date with him when you're

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Speaker 1: in a high profile job. Women kind of do that.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, like if we were like in a

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Speaker 1: committed relationship, I wouldn't want him making out with anybody else, right,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I guess. And it sounds like Kevin, even

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Speaker 1: with all this pressure from playing professional sports and having

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Speaker 1: girls who like him, is interested in only dating you.

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Speaker 1: That's what it sounds like to me. Am I right, Kevin? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like honestly, like I thought you were cool and I

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Speaker 1: thought you were really cute and I want to go

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Speaker 1: out with you again, and like it doesn't matter like

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Speaker 1: what I do or anything like that, like not to

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Speaker 1: be anyway. I mean, I mean, I guess I could

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Speaker 1: maybe consider it, then you could consider it. Yeah, what

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Speaker 1: if he wasn't a professional athlete, Jamie, could you consider

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Speaker 1: it then? Um? That's a weird question. I don't I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I just want Why does that even matter?

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Speaker 1: Let's say that Kevin worked at home depot and not

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Speaker 1: the Sounders. What he's wrong with you? Kevin? Why are

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Speaker 1: you getting upset? Yeah? Seriously, like I call you for

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Speaker 1: help and likely do you work at home people? I

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Speaker 1: never said that. Jamie never said are you a? Can

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Speaker 1: you play for the Sounder? Well, I don't know you

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Speaker 1: play for the Sounder? No? No, but listen, no, not

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Speaker 1: exactly like this, after all of this shop now you're

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Speaker 1: not even You're not even who you say you were.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, would you hang out a second? Like?

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Speaker 1: This is what I've been trying to tell you. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is why I wanted to go out with you

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Speaker 1: again to be able to tell you the truth. And

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Speaker 1: Jubel was supposed to like help me do that. I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be with you, And I'm sorry Jubo didn't

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Speaker 1: perpetuate your lie. You crying. It's not like that, Okay,

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Speaker 1: It's not like my buddy dared me. Okay. I did

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Speaker 1: go to like an open tryout for the Sounders and

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Speaker 1: I and I hope to go again. Okay, So it's

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Speaker 1: not like I don't play soccer, but like it's like

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be honest with you and just tell

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Speaker 1: you the truth. I had so much predu about you.

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Speaker 1: You are not all of it? You can can someone

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Speaker 1: get this guy away for me? Not? Instead? In dating

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Speaker 1: the home deep a liar, I get nickname. I think

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Speaker 1: you're reading into things. I just threw out a hypothetical, said,

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Speaker 1: what if he works for home depot? That's all, That's

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Speaker 1: all I said. I'm sorry, so so people who work

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Speaker 1: at home depot are what probably than you? Amen? What

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Speaker 1: do you? What do you do for a living? What

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Speaker 1: do you do for a living? Beside troll for professional athletes?

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Speaker 1: You are a crazy, crazy person, Jamie. Would you like

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Speaker 1: a second date with Kevin? You'd love to see you again?

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Speaker 1: I will pay for your second date. Yeah, keep kidding me.

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Speaker 1: I'm seriously asking would you like to about with Kevin again?

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Speaker 1: I know he would love to see I'm seriously telling you,

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Speaker 1: no way in hell you were all good until you

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Speaker 1: found out that I wasn't a pro athlete. Key, I

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Speaker 1: don't think so, Kevin. She sounded pretty upset the whole time. No,

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Speaker 1: you know what, guys like I tried to be honest

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Speaker 1: and like, why do you think guys lie? Like, why

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Speaker 1: do you think guys lie because they get this, dude,

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Speaker 1: she never had to be opened. And you try to

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Speaker 1: be honest and you get this. Listen, you never try

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Speaker 1: to be honest. Yea, what do Jamie want? Kevin? And

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Speaker 1: I know you're fired up to fall over with your

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Speaker 1: legs in the a prom Kevin, Kevin, I know that,

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Speaker 1: I know that I know you're fired up because you

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Speaker 1: didn't get your second date. And I also know that

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Speaker 1: I need to let you go and get off the phone.

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Speaker 1: I wh use that passion on the field today. Get

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Speaker 1: to practice, all right, buddy, Yeah, all right, go Jupil

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Speaker 1: in the morning.