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Speaker 1: This is John, this is the Okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some.

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Speaker 2: Good story is coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 2: two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 2: I thought my wife was hiding something, so I checked

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Speaker 2: her phone.

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Speaker 1: What'd you find?

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Speaker 2: For context? My partner and I have been together for

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Speaker 2: thirteen years and the last four have been rough. She

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Speaker 2: is back in school for a docurate and just before

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Speaker 2: the pandemic started, we had a huge situation that left

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Speaker 2: to her son leaving the household. Soon after, she told

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Speaker 2: me I am emotionally unavailable and that I am not

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Speaker 2: the partner she would choose today, and that I am

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Speaker 2: not the partner she would choose today.

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Speaker 1: What what the heck?

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Speaker 2: We got into couples therapy, individual therapy, and I have

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Speaker 2: been trying everything to keep us together since, but nothing

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Speaker 2: has really helped. By the way, this comes from Throwaway

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Speaker 2: thirty four thirty four to fifty six on the r

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Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime sawbred it. So this past month we

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Speaker 2: went on vacation for school to a convention. She contacted

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Speaker 2: me minimally during the six days, really only talked to

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Speaker 2: her daughters first night she was gone. She sent videos

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Speaker 2: of her at the beach to the girls iPad, and

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Speaker 2: when I talked to her that night, I mentioned I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't mind receiving little thinking of news. She nearly got

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Speaker 2: defensive and told me she hasn't been on her phone much.

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Speaker 1: Oh come on, oh come on, we already know what's

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Speaker 1: going to happen. Uh.

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Speaker 2: I only have enough time to send something to my daughters,

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Speaker 2: not you. You should read my mind and know how

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Speaker 2: I feel about you.

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Speaker 1: What did OP do to deserve this?

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Speaker 2: Her days consisted of school functions and dinners. Then they

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Speaker 2: were free to do whatever they wanted. The groups of

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Speaker 2: them went out to bars for three to five hours

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Speaker 2: almost every night. I'd send good night text and not

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Speaker 2: receive anything back until the following morning, which was just

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Speaker 2: a hungover face pick.

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Speaker 1: That's kind of funny. Actually, she's like, how you doing,

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Speaker 1: honey in the morning.

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Speaker 2: Everything else I receive was basic. I'd post to social

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Speaker 2: media for anyone to see type stuff. Then after they

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Speaker 2: went to bars, nothing else. Because our relationship has been rocky,

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Speaker 2: I'm insecure. I'll be the first to admit that, and

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Speaker 2: I'm working on it. In therapy, but I couldn't shake

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Speaker 2: a heavier feeling something was off. So I checked her

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Speaker 2: messages on her computer and there were texts between a

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Speaker 2: male classmate and her where he asked why she wasn't

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Speaker 2: at a certain function and she replied with a leg

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Speaker 2: and feet pool pick, explaining they skipped that function. Innocent enough,

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Speaker 2: but it made me feel like I was less important,

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Speaker 2: and it showed that she was capable of responding instantly

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Speaker 2: to people she wanted to. Oh, yeah, dude, if anyone

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Speaker 2: has a phone, no matter who they are, they can

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Speaker 2: respond to you.

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Speaker 1: Everyone has their phone on that they can respond. They

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Speaker 1: can respond to You's no excuse me, within like a

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Speaker 1: certain timeframe. But if she's not responding to you at

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Speaker 1: the end of the night or because she's busy, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's so dude. This is so funny. She'll she sent

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Speaker 1: this one guy like she's at the pool, like in

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Speaker 1: like foot in the pool everything. But she responds to

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Speaker 1: Opie with I'm hungover like a monster picks. That's we

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Speaker 1: know what's going on here.

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Speaker 2: Last night she was there, she called for bedtime and

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Speaker 2: told me they decided not to go to the bars

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Speaker 2: and to go to the pool. After dinner, but an

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Speaker 2: hour later I text her asking if she was still

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Speaker 2: at the pool and I'd like to talk to her

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Speaker 2: because I missed her and only had my eight and

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Speaker 2: six year olds for company for a week. No response,

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Speaker 2: and when I checked her location, her GPS was off

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Speaker 2: for the first time the entire trip. It showed she

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Speaker 2: was at the pool, but upon refresh, phone cannot be found.

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Speaker 1: Yikes.

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Speaker 2: So I got on her computer again and her messaging

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Speaker 2: app was unsyncd from the app. I texted her a

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Speaker 2: fairly insecure text and she responded with a very encouraging

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Speaker 2: and a very sweet text, saying that did ease my mind.

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Speaker 2: But then nothing including GPS until the next day at

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Speaker 2: the airport.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she texted you what you wanted to hear because

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Speaker 1: she knows. She's like, oh no, he's catching on, honey.

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Speaker 2: I don't want anyone else but you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like she's probably having a good, fun girls trip

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Speaker 1: and I'm at the pool. Oh oh, my my locations off.

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Speaker 1: GPS is off. Technical error. You know, you know technology.

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Speaker 2: You know my phone died, my phone the reserves was off.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry. I love you and kisses. Know how I

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Speaker 1: never text this year before, but I'll say it now

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Speaker 1: when you, you know, caught me when.

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Speaker 2: You got home. I brought up my feelings and now

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Speaker 2: I feel not important to her. She got defensive and angry,

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Speaker 2: and her excuse or she wanted to be a she

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Speaker 2: wanted it to be a true vacation, or she didn't

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Speaker 2: have to worry about keeping tabs at home.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, oh Pi, you deserve it.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. Much better the true vacation without you,

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Speaker 2: without having to hear about you. Then she was showing

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Speaker 2: me the one hundred picks she had taken, and while

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Speaker 2: in there I saw the leg and feet pool pick.

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Speaker 2: I asked who she sent that to, and she lied

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Speaker 2: and said her girlfriends, even relaying the exact conversation I

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Speaker 2: had read to the male classmate. So she just like said, oh,

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Speaker 2: me and my girlfriends, we were saying this about each other.

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Speaker 1: OPI again, you know what's going on.

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Speaker 2: Maybe maybe his name was Riley, maybe his name was Sam,

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Speaker 2: maybe his name was a unisex name and it was

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Speaker 2: actually a girl.

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Speaker 1: Any more details. But I don't like how Opie's being

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Speaker 1: treated because he's he's trying to put in the work

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Speaker 1: for his relationship and his marriage and the kids and

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Speaker 1: his wife is just like giving not even the bare minimum.

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Speaker 1: It seems like she doesn't want to even do anything.

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Speaker 2: I knew she was lying, but I have checked her

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Speaker 2: phone in the past and she went by lesstick, so

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Speaker 2: I don't feel like incriminating myself at that point and

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Speaker 2: tried to brush my insecurities away. After a week of

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Speaker 2: that information eating at me, I decided I had to

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Speaker 2: confront her, and she was immediately defensive and angry again.

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Speaker 2: Admitted she sent them to the male classmate, but that

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Speaker 2: it was innocent, which I agreed to. The content itself was,

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Speaker 2: but it was also but it also showed she had

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Speaker 2: more interest in chatting with her male classmates than with

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Speaker 2: her own partner.

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Speaker 1: Get caught, You got caught.

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Speaker 2: Then, when I asked to see the conversation, she said

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Speaker 2: she deleted it because I was making such a fuss

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Speaker 2: about it.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: Told me she's changing her passwords, blame me for not

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Speaker 2: trusting her, and then stated, you will always find something

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Speaker 2: you don't like if you snoop your partner's phone. Oh

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Speaker 2: my dude, you're supposed to like ease his mind. Dear dude,

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Speaker 2: he's insecure. You're not you're not helping him out.

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Speaker 1: This is this is bad. This is the way she's

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Speaker 1: treating oph Oh, I lied to you because you're insecure,

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Speaker 1: But like, that's a you problem.

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Speaker 2: What the heck I would give my partner my phone.

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Speaker 2: I know people are like worried about that, but I'll

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Speaker 2: be like, whatever you gotta do to make yourself feel better.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're giving me. You're giving me the ick when

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Speaker 1: you're kind of insecure. We already have a family and

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Speaker 1: we've been married for a while, but you're giving me

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Speaker 1: the ick.

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Speaker 2: When I mentioned that line to my therapist, she immediately

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Speaker 2: called it out as gaslighting.

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Speaker 1: We know a thing about that.

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Speaker 2: We finished that conversation with her telling me if she

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Speaker 2: was going to cheat, she has plenty of opportunities to

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Speaker 2: do so.

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Speaker 1: Bro, I'm out. I'm out. I would have walked out

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Speaker 1: of that couple's therapy. I'm like, I'm out.

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Speaker 2: And told me I am codependent on her and that

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Speaker 2: I need to love myself before we can work on

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Speaker 2: our relationship. She's just pushing this on.

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Speaker 1: She's my gosh, you're the problem.

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Speaker 2: She has four months left on her program and we

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Speaker 2: have couples therapy scheduled for end of January next year,

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Speaker 2: and in a month she's going to an off site

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Speaker 2: hospital for another state for ten weeks, where I will

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Speaker 2: be taking care of the kids. We haven't really talked

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Speaker 2: much since that last conversation. I feel I am incredibly

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Speaker 2: undervalued and I have the receptive of any of her

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Speaker 2: negative behavior, and I pulled away since she told me

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Speaker 2: I smother her. During this time, she is getting noticeably

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Speaker 2: more grumpy with me, almost like a child who broke

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Speaker 2: their plaything. And now she is at another thing for

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Speaker 2: school across the country, and I've received a leg and

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Speaker 2: footpick from her hotel room the other night. Okay, oh gosh,

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Speaker 2: she's just like rubbing in his face now, Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know this which I don't know how to interpret,

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Speaker 2: but it feels patronizing. But we'll never patronize you. If

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Speaker 2: you join us every weekday at three pm PST, just

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Speaker 2: tap our profile.

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Speaker 1: Tap We're out.

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Speaker 2: I'm out, We're done.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: You're making this so just like you put it all

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Speaker 2: on him, You're not taking any accountability for any of

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Speaker 2: your actions.

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Speaker 1: You know what. I think this is your life. I

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Speaker 1: think this is like a midlife crisis.

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Speaker 2: Oh, she doesn't feel like her life spicy enough. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: she's like, oh, it's too we have it's too comfortable.

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Speaker 1: It's too mundane. Were we're in the set life of

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Speaker 1: we have kids, we have the white picket fence, and

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Speaker 1: what have I done? I want to go back to school.

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Speaker 1: I want to do something for myself for my life.

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Speaker 2: Get a spicy affair going.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want to say like it's

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Speaker 1: a midlife crisis, but it seems like it's leading that way. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she's like she feels too coddled in a relationship, which

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Speaker 1: I get, and you can feel too coddled, but communicate

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Speaker 1: that in a healthy way and not pay, not patriotize

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Speaker 1: or attack your partner.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she definitely is not happy in some sense, but

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Speaker 2: it's not admitting it.

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Speaker 1: No, like if you're if you are, Like she did

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Speaker 1: say that, and she's like, you know what, we'll give

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Speaker 1: a couple of therapy ago. The fact that she wants

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Speaker 1: to do that, but the fact that she's attacking you

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Speaker 1: any time you try and like say your feelings or

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Speaker 1: what you want or at least letting it well be known.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, no, come on, that's that's gross. That's

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Speaker 1: on you and that's I don't want to hear about it.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go across the country now for a

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Speaker 1: trip wild dude.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll be honest. Since the codependans see conversation, I've

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Speaker 2: lost a lot of the hopefulness I had in our

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Speaker 2: relationship ever getting back to a good place, and have

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Speaker 2: been in the mindset of ending it for the last

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Speaker 2: four weeks, but just can't pull the trigger for some reason.

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Speaker 1: Scared I needed.

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Speaker 2: I think he needs more content context, like, yeah, solid evidence, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: any advice on how this situation looks because we don't

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Speaker 2: have any mutual friends and I personally dove headfirst into

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Speaker 2: our relationship and haven't really nurtured any friendships or hobbies,

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Speaker 2: so it would be nice to hear from the people

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Speaker 2: who aren't biased towards me. As stated above, there was

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Speaker 2: a lot more context than my post history. You are

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Speaker 2: free to read. I have had my massive f up

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Speaker 2: in our relationship too, so we are clear. I'm no

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Speaker 2: saying but for the last eight years I had voted

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Speaker 2: myself to her and the family to be met with

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Speaker 2: comments of not doing anything at every turn, and it

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Speaker 2: is emotionally exhausting. I think he cheated on I think.

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Speaker 1: Now, with that context, I thought we both jumped to

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Speaker 1: the conclusion that he was cheating. Oh but I don't

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Speaker 1: think so.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: I think she just like I said, it's kind of

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Speaker 1: like a mid life crisis kind of thing where she's like,

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Speaker 1: you don't the codependency thing too, and he also stated,

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Speaker 1: I don't have friends. I've invested in dove headfirst into

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Speaker 1: this relationship. She's probably just like, dude, I'm not.

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Speaker 2: There probably is a lot of codependency here because I

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Speaker 2: used to be. I used to be in a relationship

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Speaker 2: where I was very codependent on my partner and I

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Speaker 2: didn't I didn't play basketball for a year. I didn't

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Speaker 2: see my family for a year. I lost to what

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Speaker 2: I was for a year. Dude, whoa, Yeah, dude, I

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Speaker 2: was not in a good place.

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Speaker 1: That's okay. Look at you now, you're in a better place.

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Speaker 2: I am. You're with me. Sometimes I get scared, am

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Speaker 2: I then? No, I'm in a great place. Is awesome.

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Speaker 2: I love this guy. It gives me a smile. Sometimes

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Speaker 2: I get afraid that I would go back to that

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Speaker 2: place that used to be in.

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Speaker 1: As long as you're cognizant, like where you were that

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Speaker 1: when you know, back in the day, and you also learned.

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Speaker 1: You learn because I've been. I've been. I was very

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Speaker 1: codependent and very like insecure. Yeah, so, and I've I've grown.

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Speaker 1: I've definitely grown. If I saw myself ten years ago,

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Speaker 1: and what the how I did? Dude, it used to

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Speaker 1: be four feet Yeah, I'm four or five. It's it's

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Speaker 1: you change, you mature. But this is a relationship that

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Speaker 1: you've had for so long.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta throw in the towel. If they're making

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Speaker 2: comments like this, Yeah, and dude, hit your head out

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Speaker 2: of your butt.

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Speaker 1: Bro, it seems like she's done. Oh yeah, she's like,

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Speaker 1: I've done the kids. I'm happy with the kids. Let's

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Speaker 1: move on, dude, Let's just live our lives.

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Speaker 2: Run.

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Speaker 1: But that's the end of that story. Guys.

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Speaker 2: I'm debating inviting my coworker to my wedding because she's

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Speaker 2: so toxic.

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Speaker 1: Why are you so toxic? Hi? Yah?

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Speaker 2: Everybody? Firstly, big Mark Naration fans and I love hearing

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Speaker 2: the community advise on the videos, so I thought, why

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Speaker 2: not ask the community for advice. It's my first post ever,

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Speaker 2: so please bear with me. This is more stressful than

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Speaker 2: my college essay. Lol. Keeping it vague because I don't

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Speaker 2: know if people will end up reading this. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Silly But twenty twenty four on the

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Speaker 2: R sush Okay Storytime sub reread it. So, I, twenty

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Speaker 2: nine female, am getting married next year to my wonderful fiance.

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Speaker 2: The guest list size is decent, and I do have

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Speaker 2: the means to invite as many people as I would

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Speaker 2: like to. For context, I moved around a lot as

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Speaker 2: a kid, so I really don't have childhood friends. My

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Speaker 2: circle is small but tight, full of friends.

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Speaker 1: What nothing, You've got? Tight nothing?

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Speaker 2: My circle is small but tight, full of friends who

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Speaker 2: I have met through work or being roommates some contexts.

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Speaker 2: When I started my current job about five years ago,

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Speaker 2: I met one girl we'll call Lola Lola. Lola introduced

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Speaker 2: me to Kelly. Lola and Kelly have been friends for

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Speaker 2: over a decade, as they have known each other since

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Speaker 2: high school. Over time, I became close with Kelly. At first,

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Speaker 2: I was simultaneously trying to stay close to Lola too,

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Speaker 2: but she was occupied with life obligations, so Kelly and

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Speaker 2: I would often waive the hangout on account of Lola,

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Speaker 2: but sometimes keep the plans and hang out as if

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Speaker 2: it was a time sensitive ticket to an event or

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Speaker 2: seasonal thing. But what really brought us close was Kelly's

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Speaker 2: first birthday since I met her. She had invited both

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Speaker 2: of us a month prior, but Lola was not able

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Speaker 2: to make it or did she follow through with scheduling

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Speaker 2: a time that worked in her schedule. So I went

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Speaker 2: out for a birthday meal with Kelly and we spent

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Speaker 2: hours chatting away got chat what do you chet about?

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Speaker 2: As time went on, I realized Lola pass a lot

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Speaker 2: of judgment very quickly on people, or will say abrupt,

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Speaker 2: rude things, and I just this is myself from her

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Speaker 2: a bit. She never directed anything at me. But a

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Speaker 2: year into knowing both girls, I noticed Lola severely mistreating Kelly.

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Speaker 2: Come to find out Lola has been this way since

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Speaker 2: they were kids. You're into knowing them. Lola started giving

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Speaker 2: Kelly the silence treatment. A year after getting to know them,

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Speaker 2: Lola started giving Kelly the silent treatment over Kelly setting

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Speaker 2: a boundary with her. The boundary was to protect Kelly's

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Speaker 2: health and Lola's actions were putting her at risk medically,

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Speaker 2: So Kelly was respectfully cautious. That piss Lola off. What

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Speaker 2: was this thing?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, if you have boundaries, set

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Speaker 1: up the boundaries. But it's like we can't hang out

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Speaker 1: as much.

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Speaker 2: I refuse to hang out with Keon. If he's not

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Speaker 2: drinking at least one hundred fifty grams caffeine every day.

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Speaker 1: I would be bouncing off the walls.

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Speaker 2: He'd be productive. That piss of Lola off. She left

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Speaker 2: Kelly isolated at work. We were nearing Kelly's birthday, so

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Speaker 2: I band together with her family and we plan to

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Speaker 2: celebrate her at her favorite restaurant and go out after.

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Speaker 2: Lola wasn't invited, as she came around with an insincere

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Speaker 2: apology a day or two before her birthday. By that time,

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Speaker 2: reservations were set and people were invited. Made for a

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Speaker 2: very awkward office happy birthday singing when Lola came upround

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Speaker 2: to see Kelly.

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Speaker 1: Uh oh.

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Speaker 2: It's been a few years since this instance, and Lola

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Speaker 2: has definitely kept up with saying things that are rude

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Speaker 2: or unnecessary.

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Speaker 1: Oh dude, she's just like keeping in her back pocket.

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Speaker 2: She also tends to get irritated if she cannot make

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Speaker 2: it to plans as a group. She has asked us

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Speaker 2: to cancel plans or go out of our way in

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Speaker 2: an inconvenience manner just to accommodate her. We always say

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Speaker 2: we are happy to make more plans on the exact

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Speaker 2: day that is around, but she has but she has

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Speaker 2: wanted us not to go ahead with the plans unless

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Speaker 2: we did it her way. Sometimes it would be so unreasonable,

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Speaker 2: like driving an hour out, five times up, five towns

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Speaker 2: over to get food just because that's where she was.

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Speaker 1: She's selfish, very Oh my gosh, no, she's it's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: you guys have plans. I can't make it, but we

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Speaker 1: can try to cancel what you have right now and

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Speaker 1: do that. But I need you to drive over a

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Speaker 1: state to hang out with me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, it's just an hour.

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Speaker 1: It'll be fun.

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Speaker 2: Come on, when Kelly and I are in the same city,

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Speaker 2: just trying to grab a quick bite and inviting her

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Speaker 2: as well, Like, nah, dude, this was supposed to be

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Speaker 2: two hours tops interaction, not a two hour road trip

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Speaker 2: in addition to a few hours of conversation. So really

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Speaker 2: four to five hours and she's not willing to drive that.

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Speaker 2: I bet no.

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Speaker 1: She no, I don't know, of course, not given these.

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Speaker 2: Things in the Silent Treatment debacle, Kelly and I are

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Speaker 2: usually hanging out by ourselves or other friends, rarely with Lola,

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Speaker 2: unless it happens through going out after work with everybody.

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Speaker 2: Last year, Lola asked to go out on a Friday

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Speaker 2: in a group chat with US three and a few

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Speaker 2: other friends. I asked if we could do another day,

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Speaker 2: as I was working a few supplemental jobs at the

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Speaker 2: time and they just so happened to have meetings on

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Speaker 2: Friday afternoon. Lola said maybe, but she's available on that

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Speaker 2: day and everyone was already at work, so that day

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Speaker 2: was the best day for her. I say, fair enough,

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Speaker 2: you're right. I told the group chat to have a

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Speaker 2: few extra drinks on my behalf. I will be there

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Speaker 2: in spirit, but I need to go make this money.

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Speaker 1: And I go on my merry way make that money.

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Speaker 2: You see how he said, can't make it, have fun,

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Speaker 2: see you on the next one.

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Speaker 1: That's all that's all it takes.

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Speaker 2: I don't not hey, I'm not gonna be able to

385
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Speaker 2: make it, but you guys need to come over here

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Speaker 2: and help me work and get money so we can

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Speaker 2: hang out after.

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Speaker 1: Her don't hang out, don't No, you're hanging out without me?

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Speaker 1: Don't hang out, don't have fun? Wait for me postspeone

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Speaker 1: it wait for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he didn't do that like Lola. I found out

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Speaker 2: later from a few friends that Lola was criticizing me out,

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Speaker 2: saying things like what is up?

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Speaker 1: Hit? Dang?

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Speaker 2: Does she think she's too good for us? How come

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Speaker 2: she never comes out? For god text? I do go out,

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Speaker 2: just not as often. This was out of the blue

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Speaker 2: for me, and I felt irritated, but also amused that

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Speaker 2: me bowing out on a Friday drink had her so annoyed.

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00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,800
Speaker 2: I am a professional above anything else, and I don't

401
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Speaker 2: care enough to duke it out over these comments. I

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00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 2: have never confronted Lola about her behavior, so in her

403
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Speaker 2: brain we are still close friends, and Kelly and her

404
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:32,160
Speaker 2: are besties. Kelly and I both have non confrontational amptitudes

405
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,640
Speaker 2: and get very anxious, so we just cut and run

406
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 2: or avoid usually hold up somewhere with Mihido's shining away

407
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 2: about work, stress, and dating. Now fast forward to now,

408
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 2: wedding planning is in full scin Let's go. Kelly is

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Speaker 2: of course invited, and she is one of my bridesmaids,

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Speaker 2: who let's go Kelly?

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Speaker 1: What about Lola?

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Speaker 2: Though, as I finalize my guest list, I struggle with

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Speaker 2: inviting Lola.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

415
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:02,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. Interactions with have left me with a sour taste,

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Speaker 2: to say the least, and it seems that her mistreatment

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Speaker 2: of Kelly is still ongoing.

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Speaker 1: I have.

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Speaker 2: Such a similar story to this. Oh my gosh. Kelly

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Speaker 2: has assured me that she is okay with whatever I

421
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Speaker 2: choose to do. I would have just written it off

422
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 2: as she doesn't make my close friends feel so safe,

423
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Speaker 2: so it's enough. But recently, every time I run into

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Speaker 2: Lola at work, she asks about wedding plans in detail.

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Speaker 2: In the past, she has mentioned wanting to help as

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Speaker 2: recent as a few months ago. I'm getting the sense

427
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Speaker 2: that she wants to be invited.

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Speaker 1: Oh you don't say.

429
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Speaker 2: While I have no problems usually just standing my ground

430
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Speaker 2: through my actions, I also know how Lola holds grudges

431
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Speaker 2: and we are going to be working together for the

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Speaker 2: foreseeable future. I am a chronic overthinker, so in my

433
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 2: overbaked brain, I am imagining Lola pissed that I invited

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Speaker 2: her bestie Kelly but not her, and then giving me

435
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 2: the sound treatment too, which is okay with me, but

436
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 2: we also work with several other colleagues whom she probably

437
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,680
Speaker 2: could mouth off to and play the victim as wow

438
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 2: op Pie has known me and Kelly for the same

439
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 2: amount of time I introduced them, and now I get

440
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 2: cut out.

441
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,320
Speaker 1: I well deserved, because you're such a bully. No one

442
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 1: likes you. You I guarantee you. If she was invited

443
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 1: to the wedding, she's like, m don't put on this date.

444
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 1: Put on this state so I can make it, and

445
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: then I run the risk of potentially looking like a

446
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: ball hold to a few people.

447
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 2: But you will never be a bull hole if you

448
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 2: come and join us live every weekday at three pm PST.

449
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 2: Just tap her profile. No buttholes here, dude there, there's

450
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 2: just a lose lose you you invite her, she acts

451
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 2: like that. She don't invite her, she acts like mouse.

452
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's literally like, if you don't invite her,

453
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 1: she's going to act like that. If you do invite her,

454
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 1: she's going to act like that.

455
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 2: It's that's what I said.

456
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 1: You just don't get anything.

457
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I say.

458
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just reinforcing it. Okay, I agree with you.

459
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 2: Oh, good, good good, I'm not disagree with you at all. Dude.

460
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 2: That's a I don't know, dude, I don't know. If

461
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 2: you want to play fire with fire, you you have

462
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 2: to be the mean girl here. You have to be

463
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 2: Lola here. You have to be Lola two point zero.

464
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 2: You have to be Lola in a way that you

465
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 2: know what Lola is about to do, and then you

466
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:34,959
Speaker 2: already do it, and then you have a backup plan

467
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 2: for what she might do. Also, are you ready for

468
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 2: that if you want to be that kind of person.

469
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,720
Speaker 1: Or just invite all the colleagues and not Lola.

470
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 2: Oh I thought you got in the mail, dude, Dude,

471
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,360
Speaker 2: I literally literally texted it to you. Oh this isn't

472
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 2: your number.

473
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: I I didn't send into the right group chat.

474
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 2: No, don't you remember when we talked about that. We

475
00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 2: literally talked about it for hours.

476
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 1: I already I already know that Lola is gonna be

477
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,840
Speaker 1: very very upset that Kelly is a her h did

478
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: you say bride's mad or made aut her bridesmaid? I

479
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,159
Speaker 1: already nonetheless either, or that Lola is gonna be so

480
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 1: but hurt about that. Oh yeah, she's not gonna get invited.

481
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 1: She's gonna hold that over your head.

482
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 2: But it's deserve Yeah. I saw I saw a chart

483
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,120
Speaker 2: that was like how to invite people to your wedding,

484
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 2: and you go through like the system of basically, uh,

485
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 2: if they're family, are they close? Are they gonna make

486
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 2: the wedding better? Are they not? Basically I think by

487
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,119
Speaker 2: the end of it, if inviting certain people will make

488
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 2: your wedding better, do it. Yeah.

489
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 1: If not, you don't have it's your wedding, it's your day. Yep,

490
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: do whatever you want exactly. You don't have to invite

491
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 1: someone that's gonna cause a ruckus or make your day

492
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 1: more stressful or the planning stressful. Oh my god, let alone,

493
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,120
Speaker 1: and I guarantee you Lola will make it more stressful.

494
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 2: Oh one hundred dude.

495
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 1: But let's let's see what happens.

496
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 2: So, my friends, should I just say whatever and invite

497
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 2: her or stick and not extend that invitation? What have

498
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 2: you done when you have invited some colleagues to your

499
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: wedding but not others? Have you ever not invited someone

500
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 2: in the friends group to your wedding while you have

501
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 2: invited others? Thank you all for your advice in advance.

502
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 2: Do it feels right? Stick to your I'm all about

503
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 2: the Second Amendment.

504
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 1: What I'm worried about is that it's such a tight

505
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:39,040
Speaker 1: knit group of friends Colickie that or I at least

506
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: work colleagues, that even if you invite all the colleagues

507
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: and Lola doesn't get invited, they'd be like, Lola's like,

508
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 1: I'm a plus one. Yeah, I could be a plus one.

509
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,960
Speaker 1: Yeah that makes even more awkward. Yeah, I say, hmmm,

510
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 1: because it's going to be in the workplace. Lola doesn't

511
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: stick to your guest to you if you don't want

512
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,240
Speaker 1: to invite Lola, but just know they're gonna be repercussions

513
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 1: in the workplace.

514
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you gotta.

515
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 1: As me as like a people pleaser. I'd be like,

516
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: all right, I don't want to deal with this problem

517
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,960
Speaker 1: at work. I would invite Lola, But like, you're not

518
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 1: involved in any of the wedding plans. You're not involved

519
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 1: in any of this stuff. You just be at the

520
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,720
Speaker 1: wedding and that's that. That's it.

521
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 2: Sam.

522
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories.

523
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,440
Speaker 2: But here's three of it's bads from our sponsors.

524
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 1: My friend accused me of being a bully, so I

525
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,360
Speaker 1: exposed they're bullying online.

526
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 2: It's not me, it's you.

527
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: I nineteen female, recently had a traumatic falling out with

528
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 1: a friend. We'll call them Kay. I don't like the

529
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 1: letter names, so let's say Kim Cool Kim Kim. Kim

530
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 1: and I were friends for almost a year, and we

531
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 1: were the kind of friends that told each other everything,

532
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 1: even things we weren't proud of. One of those things

533
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 1: was that I broke up with my first boyfriend over

534
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:49,959
Speaker 1: text message.

535
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 2: I feel like we're Kim now because she's telling this everything.

536
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're We had only been dating a few months

537
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: and neither of us knew what we were doing. The

538
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 1: whole relationship was basically just a title. We didn't do

539
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 1: much with other than that. During our relationship, I realized

540
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 1: I was lesbian ah, and I felt horrible that I

541
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: was losing feelings for him.

542
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 2: Ooh.

543
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user Different Intention twelve

544
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 1: on the r slash Okay storytime subbreed it. So I

545
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,640
Speaker 1: was an emotional wreck, so a phone call was out

546
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: of the question. We didn't have any classes together in

547
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 1: school and I couldn't drive to this house, so the

548
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: only option I had was to break up over text.

549
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 1: I feel like I.

550
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 2: See that in that moment, that felt like the best thing.

551
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 2: You probably could have waited til you calm down and

552
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 2: maybe called him phone call. Yeah, but I mean everyone

553
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 2: gets broken up with over text, and sometimes people break

554
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 2: up with you. You're the one that breaks up over

555
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 2: text too.

556
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, do what you want done to you.

557
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:50,640
Speaker 2: Yeah.

558
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,719
Speaker 1: I felt absolutely horrible, and the next time I saw him,

559
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 1: I apologized profusely. He was cool with it since I

560
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,680
Speaker 1: had explained in the message why I did it. He

561
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: and I still good friends, and I try to keep

562
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 1: the fact that I ended it over text a secret

563
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 1: unless I truly trust a person. I feel like it's

564
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: not that big.

565
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 2: That's not bad.

566
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 1: That bad.

567
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,720
Speaker 2: If you ended over text and go someone, that's bad.

568
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 1: If you ended over text and go someone, or if

569
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 1: you like cheated on them. Yeah, And then like was

570
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 1: like telling everyone you cheated it on them, but the

571
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 1: partner and you keptah, there's.

572
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 2: A yeah, I would not feel guilty about this whatsoever. Yeah,

573
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: because you probably wrote out everything you were feeling. Yeah,

574
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 2: especially whenever I hear I broke up with someone over text,

575
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 2: it was like, I'm breaking up with you.

576
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: That's it, that's it block. But the fact that even

577
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 1: you wrote it out and then talked later and he said,

578
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: it's cool, it happens. That's happened, and I didn't see.

579
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: He probably was like, if it was just for a title,

580
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: that's phenomenal. So great. Anyways, he is a new girlfriend

581
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 1: now and she and I are best friends. He treats

582
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: her so well and I can't help but smile seeing

583
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: how much they love each other. That's great. End of story,

584
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: happy ending, amazing. Kim recently started dating a school friend

585
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 1: of mine who we will call r Let's call it Rex.

586
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 1: Rex is two years younger than me, and he and

587
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: I met through a mutual friend from middle school. He

588
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 1: and I were really close, constantly calling after school to

589
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 1: play games in sitting with each other at lunch. Some

590
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: important information to remember is that he and I have

591
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,239
Speaker 1: a very specific greeting with each other. Every morning when

592
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 1: we see each other at school, we run at each

593
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: other and try to give the other person the biggest

594
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: hug we can muster. So that's Cute's intensive greeting. Well,

595
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 1: it's always been a competition between us to see who

596
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: can give the better hugs each day. Ah sadly now

597
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: that I have graduated and started college, he and I

598
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 1: don't see each other anymore, and our calls become less

599
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 1: frequent as my part time job happens right after their

600
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: school day. Some last minute info before we start the drama.

601
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 1: Kim Rex and I contact each other through Discord. I

602
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 1: have the same Discord account on two devices, my phone

603
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 1: and my tablet. I don't turn my tablet on silent.

604
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 1: That's important. Now onto the drama. What you're here for?

605
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 2: Ooh?

606
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: A few weeks ago, I was helping my mom find

607
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: some paperwork so she could do her taxes. I turned

608
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: my phone on silent and closed the Discord tab on

609
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: my phone. I happened to keep it open on my

610
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 1: device while in other apps, so it constantly looks like

611
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 1: I'm online. A few minutes into helping my mom, I

612
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: heard a noise coming from my room and to shrug

613
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 1: it off as my Alexa probably saying I had a notification.

614
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: I ignored it and kept searching. After we finally found

615
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 1: all the paperwork, I looked at my phone, which had

616
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: been faced down on the table. I was welcomed with

617
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: a couple of Discord messages and a miscall, which was

618
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,320
Speaker 1: the noise I heard from my room. It was coming

619
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: through my tablet. I opened the messages to see that

620
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,960
Speaker 1: Kim and Rex had made a group message for the

621
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: three of us and had tried calling me. As I

622
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 1: was reading through the messages, I was very confused as

623
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: Rex was saying horrible things about me, accusing me of

624
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: bullying Kim.

625
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 2: Ooh.

626
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 1: I was extremely confused because Kim and I I had

627
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 1: been on a call playing a video game just that

628
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 1: morning and Kim said nothing about this. I have told

629
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: Kim multiple times to be open with me if I

630
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 1: said something that bothers them, because I have an impulsive

631
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: disorder that makes me unable to realize that some things

632
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: I can say make people uncomfortable. Yeah, Riley, all my

633
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 1: friends know this, and Kim has been pretty good about it,

634
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 1: and every time it happens, I apologize profusely. So I

635
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: was unsure what Rex was talking about. I continued reading.

636
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: As Rex continued to send me messages. He accuves me

637
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 1: a bullying, mental abuse, threatening, and a bunch of other

638
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 1: things that are not appropriate for this sub reddit.

639
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 3: Ooh.

640
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 1: Rex seemed livid. Huh, and I knew I wasn't going

641
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 1: to get any anywhere with him. So I opened my

642
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 1: private chat with Kim and asked him what was happening.

643
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: They said, and I quote, you know what you did,

644
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 1: and this is the price you are going to pay.

645
00:31:53,880 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: Huh huh, weird, funky. Here's where I got suspicious. When

646
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 1: I asked him for proof of any of the things

647
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 1: I was being accused of, they blocked me without responding. I,

648
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: still confused and now visibly distraught, went back to the

649
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 1: group chat and set a message asking Rex what this

650
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: was about, because I know for a fact I didn't

651
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: do any of the things I was accused of. He

652
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,480
Speaker 1: proceeded to gaslight me and ended his multi paragraph rant

653
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: with I hope you rot in h e double hockey sticks?

654
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 1: What I really hope? I really hope, he said.

655
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 2: Hockey sex is insane.

656
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: And I have better things to spend my time on

657
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 1: than your sorry excuse of an existence. Whoa this guy? Yeah?

658
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: Like I'm getting manipulated to what is going on here?

659
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 2: Oh dude? Is that Kim, Kim and them wear coats?

660
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 1: But when and how and why? And why? Now?

661
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,800
Speaker 2: Who knows? Public? Because of the hugs, Kim wants some

662
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 2: of that love.

663
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 1: Rec Kim gave a better hug to Rex.

664
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 2: Now he's like mad that op never could wow.

665
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: At this point, I was in tears, and my mother

666
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 1: came over to make sure I was okay. I gave

667
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 1: her my phone and left to calm down in the bathroom.

668
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: When I returned about twenty minutes later, she handed my

669
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: phone back and said that she had sent a message

670
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 1: to them and to let her know if either of

671
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 1: them said anything else. Rex still hasn't spoken to me,

672
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,120
Speaker 1: But about a week ago I got an unexpected message

673
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: from Kim. They asked if I could take down it.

674
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: They asked if I could take down a video on

675
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: my TikTok account with their face in it, saying it

676
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 1: made them uncomfortable. I said yes, it wasn't a big deal.

677
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,600
Speaker 1: Then Kim started talking about what Rex had said. They

678
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: continued to add to the list of accusations, calling me

679
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:47,719
Speaker 1: a boyfriend stealer. Do we not recall? Do we not recall?

680
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: Do we not recall?

681
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 2: Do we note doesn't want a boyfriend?

682
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:52,280
Speaker 1: Do we not recall?

683
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 2: At the friend does like Covin boyfriends.

684
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: OPI, Opie is a lesbian, and some other things not

685
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 1: appropriate for this upread it. Then she said something that

686
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: really upset me. No wonder you are such a horrible friend.

687
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 1: I would expect nothing less from someone who broke up

688
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 1: with their boyfriend over text. Oh come on, that's personal.

689
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:15,439
Speaker 1: That's deep in personal.

690
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:16,640
Speaker 2: It is pretty deep and personal.

691
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 1: I started crying and made my way to the bathroom

692
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 1: to calm down. I messaged back that I was a

693
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: lesbian trying to defend myself, and she responded with, yeah,

694
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 1: tell that to blank ex boyfriend's name. I started to

695
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 1: get angry and said that she had absolutely no right

696
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: to shame me for my past decisions, especially since my

697
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 1: ex and I are on good terms and he was

698
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:41,320
Speaker 1: okay with it. She's She then sent one word that

699
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:46,800
Speaker 1: nearly broke me. Oops. Oops.

700
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 2: Oh I see I see Oops. Oh boy tell me oops?

701
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 2: Like all right, actually stayed that back and I'll see

702
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 2: now She's like, oopsy, oopsy, you're oh, I didn't mean to.

703
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: I was living at this point. I messaged back, Oops,

704
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: that's all you have to say is oops. She followed

705
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 1: by saying, lol, So this is so funny. She's just

706
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,800
Speaker 1: trolling get out, basically making fun of something I considered

707
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,400
Speaker 1: a trauma because of how upset it made me and

708
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 1: how it's made me scared of loving anyone and risking

709
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:30,240
Speaker 1: doing it to someone else. Kim finished off the messages,

710
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: calling me some not family friendly names and saying this

711
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: no wonder you are losing all your friends. You are

712
00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:37,640
Speaker 1: pathetic human being.

713
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,879
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this is where again?

714
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: Where is this coming from? Kim then said I was

715
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: dead to them and blocked me once more. What but

716
00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:51,399
Speaker 1: you know what, we will never block you live every

717
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,760
Speaker 1: weekday three pmpst. Just join us, just talk to profile.

718
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:59,840
Speaker 2: Stab it, dude, what is Kim getting into doing this?

719
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 1: I don't There was no context in this story where

720
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,440
Speaker 1: Kim and Rex are like calling you out other than

721
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 1: like you're a boyfriend stealer.

722
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: I think Kim likes Rex and so that's why she's

723
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 2: getting Rex all riled up. But because she didn't know,

724
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,320
Speaker 2: it sounded like Kim didn't know she was lesbian, so

725
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,439
Speaker 2: Rex probably didn't know. Maybe I would assume that they knew.

726
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: I would assume that they're friends they tell each other this.

727
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:25,960
Speaker 2: But with what I'm giving and what assumptions I'm going

728
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 2: to make, that's what I'm gonna do.

729
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 1: I'm I guess that's the only reasonable one. Like, yeah,

730
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 1: this was like a tripod Like, Okay, the three of

731
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 1: them that are very close. I can see Kim and

732
00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 1: Rex getting together. But then why would they just be like,

733
00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:47,319
Speaker 1: let's eliminate Ope, yeah, it's weird. I don't know. Let's

734
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 1: get let's continue. Here's where I might be the jerk.

735
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 2: Wow, Kim, we're going to keep going.

736
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,280
Speaker 1: I was so angry that I decided to not remove

737
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 1: any videos with them in it, and it said. I

738
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 1: spent hours taking screenshots of the harassment, making sure to

739
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 1: blur out their user names, and posted them to every

740
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 1: single social media site I used, including my YouTube channel

741
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: with twelve point seven thousand subscribers. Ooh, that's a lot.

742
00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:16,520
Speaker 1: Good for you, Opie. I was too angry to even

743
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: realize what I was doing, and now that I'm in

744
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 1: a better statement mentally, it's been eating me up inside.

745
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,239
Speaker 1: I feel kind of guilty for being that petty. I

746
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: feel like I did that just out of anger and

747
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,960
Speaker 1: that it was immature of me. But another part of

748
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,840
Speaker 1: me thinks that my decision is justified for the harassment

749
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: that I had to deal with. Yeah, on top of that,

750
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 1: more than half of our mutual friends are refusing to

751
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: speak to me. What did they say? I want to know.

752
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 2: I already need to know. I needed to see the

753
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 2: full story here.

754
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to know what they said. Yeah, everyone

755
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,520
Speaker 1: I have brought this up to are biased or refusing

756
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: to comment on the situation to stay out of it,

757
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: which I respect, So I ask people have read it?

758
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: Am I the Apple refusing to take down the video

759
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 1: and instead exposes them on the internet. I feel like

760
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,240
Speaker 1: this is just wait, i' let's see there's.

761
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 2: I'm all for get ready with me exposing people?

762
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 1: So No, I just I wish there was an explanation.

763
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 1: Did you get an explanation out of this?

764
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 2: No, Kim was jealous and wanted her X. I don't know.

765
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:24,880
Speaker 2: I don't know.

766
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 1: I don't know if we're getting both sides of the

767
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: store here. I don't either, And that's why I'm just like,

768
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 1: what should you do? I feel like you should talk

769
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 1: to them and get the full on like, but you can't.

770
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 1: They blocked Yeah, they blocked you.

771
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 2: But like she can't do anything, dude, was she gonna do?

772
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 2: Post this video and hopefully it gets millions of views

773
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 2: and she gets a lot from ansence, that's.

774
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: What I hope, and makes that makes the drama into

775
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 1: her Breadwinner. Yep, I don't know. I feel like I'm

776
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 1: missing a lot of context here before I give any input,

777
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: Like they blocked you for no absolute reason. If this

778
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 1: is if this is the bear Bones case, then yeah,

779
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 1: post a video, post a video. You have every right too.

780
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,759
Speaker 1: They asked you to do something that you know, You're like, okay,

781
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 1: I'll do it. But then they're like treating you like

782
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: garbage and not really talking to you and communicating with you.

783
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: And why you're getting treated like this and they're en

784
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 1: roping in all your friends insane dude, Yeah, post a video,

785
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 1: post a video. But me, I need more context of

786
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 1: what the hell is actually going on. Yea, what double

787
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:33,359
Speaker 1: hockey sticks is going on? Because I feel like we're

788
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 1: missing a chunk of what's going on here.

789
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 2: We don't know their side.

790
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: We don't know their side, and there is a reason

791
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: why they did it. We just don't know.

792
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 2: I don't think we ever will.

793
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: We got blindsided.

794
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 2: But that's our story.

795
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 3: My best friend never put any effort into our friendship,

796
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 3: so I tested her.

797
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 4: Orange Pool names have been changed.

798
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 3: I twenty seven female, was best friends with Victoria twenty

799
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 3: five female for almost five years. Victoria and I met

800
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 3: while working part time at a local foe shop in

801
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 3: our city, and over time we became close friends. Although

802
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 3: she was two to three years younger than me, we

803
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 3: had a lot in common and we quickly became inseparable.

804
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 2: Look it's a smoothie duo, the Smoothie Girls. It's banana

805
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 2: and strawberry.

806
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Puzzle Queen eight one

807
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 3: one on the Okay Storytime suppered it. I also quickly

808
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 3: became a part of her family, as her parents and

809
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 3: siblings really liked me, and as we had built up

810
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 3: a strong level of trust and respect. I was that

811
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 3: one friend who her parents would also trust and always

812
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 3: say yes to her doing things if I was going

813
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,240
Speaker 3: with her. Basically, and their eyes, I became an honorary

814
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 3: big sister, toruer and child to them, which made me

815
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 3: really happy. Due to our small age difference, there were

816
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:44,439
Speaker 3: two years where we weren't able to hang out as often.

817
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 3: As I was in college finishing up my degree, I

818
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 3: traveled home very often as my university was only two

819
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 3: hours away from my hometown and as I didn't have

820
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 3: many friends. One thing to know about me is I

821
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,760
Speaker 3: am one of those people who has a very small

822
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 3: friend group because I'm very introverted.

823
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 2: Got it.

824
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 3: Because of this, I am extremely loyal to those people

825
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,839
Speaker 3: I consider friends and will do almost anything I can

826
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 3: to keep those friendships strong and alive. After I graduated

827
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 3: from college, I returned to my hometown for two months

828
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 3: before moving with my father to another state where he

829
00:41:18,239 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 3: would retire. This was only supposed to be a temporary thing,

830
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,360
Speaker 3: and my plan was to move back to my hometown

831
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 3: once my father was all set up and after I

832
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,800
Speaker 3: landed a full time position. A few months had passed,

833
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,920
Speaker 3: I made numerous trips back home to spend time with

834
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 3: Victoria and my two other friends, to celebrate her birthday

835
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 3: and keep plans we had previously made I.

836
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:38,680
Speaker 4: See you also.

837
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 3: At this time, I was in the final stages of

838
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,280
Speaker 3: a few interviews to land a full time job. However,

839
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 3: all of this came to a complete halt when COVID started.

840
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,440
Speaker 3: Two weeks became two months, which eventually became almost two years,

841
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 3: and as you might assume, my plans to move back

842
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 3: home never worked out. In order to not waste time

843
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 3: during COD, I went back to school for my master's

844
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 3: degree and eventually found a part time, in reality a

845
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 3: full time job to help pay for my education. During

846
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 3: this entire time, I never lost hope for my dream

847
00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 3: of moving back to my hometown. It was around this

848
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 3: time that I started to notice a difference in Victorian.

849
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 4: I friendship m very peculia. I continued to make.

850
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:24,839
Speaker 3: Trips back home for special occasions so we could hang

851
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 3: out and try to keep connected through text when I couldn't.

852
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 3: Victoria had always mentioned she would make a trip to

853
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 3: come see me and we could make plans to do

854
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 3: a girls trip, but those plans never left our text chats. Ah,

855
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,240
Speaker 3: they never got out of the group chat. This continued

856
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 3: for about one and a half to two years, and

857
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 3: eventually I found a full time job, my first career job,

858
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 3: and my dreams of moving back home were effectively canceled.

859
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:51,919
Speaker 3: Eventually I met my now fiance, thirty one mail Whoa.

860
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 3: We moved in together. Due to his job, we had

861
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 3: to move again to another state that put more distance

862
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 3: between Victoria and I. My fiance no, it was about

863
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 3: my friendship with Victoria and how hard I tried to

864
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 3: keep it going. He also knew how the strong sense

865
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 3: of one sidedness saddened me and often caused me to

866
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 3: question if I was good enough friend.

867
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:13,760
Speaker 1: To her or for her. Dang.

868
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 3: He eventually convinced me to do a friendship test with

869
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 3: her to see if she'd ever start a conversation or

870
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 3: reach out without me having to do so first.

871
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 2: Red flat.

872
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,920
Speaker 3: As you can expect, Victoria never reached out and has

873
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 3: been almost a year since we last spoke to each other.

874
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: Damn.

875
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 4: Three weeks ago, my fiance.

876
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,800
Speaker 2: Proposed congrats crats.

877
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,800
Speaker 3: I was ecstatic and shared the news on my social media.

878
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,320
Speaker 3: Victoria and I still follow each other, and she reached

879
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 3: out to congratulate us.

880
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 2: I see you.

881
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 3: We had a small conversation and she eventually asked when

882
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 3: the wedding was going to be because she was excited

883
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 3: to attend.

884
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 2: And be a maid of honor. Girl would be a bridesmaid.

885
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 3: That's sound weird. That'd be like, Yeah, I can't wait

886
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,399
Speaker 3: to attend the wedding that you haven't invited me to yet.

887
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 3: I was a little shocked by this and made the

888
00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 3: hard decision of letting her know that she wasn't going

889
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 3: to be invited.

890
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 1: WHOA.

891
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 3: She became upset and demanded to know why, and when

892
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 3: I explained about the friendship test and my feelings about

893
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 3: the one sidedness, of our friendship over the past three

894
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,640
Speaker 3: to four years. She said that was stupid and called

895
00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 3: me an a hole for doing a friendship.

896
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 4: Test on her.

897
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: Okay, so past three to four years has been like this. Yeah,

898
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 2: that's that is tough.

899
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 3: For many years I thought Victoria would be my maid

900
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 3: of honor at my wedding, and it hurt me deeply.

901
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 3: When our friendship ended. I question if I was in

902
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 3: the wrong for doing a friendship test on her, and

903
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 3: should I have tried harder to keep our friendship alive?

904
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 4: So am I the a hole?

905
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:36,359
Speaker 1: And there is an edit?

906
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 2: Ah the friendship test.

907
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:40,360
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't think.

908
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 3: It's great, but also it just doesn't seem like you

909
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,160
Speaker 3: guys were that good to friends.

910
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:46,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have solely put it on the friendship test.

911
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think your friendship was over because of

912
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 3: the friendship test. Edit to answer some questions I've seen

913
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 3: below and address some of the comments made. I had

914
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 3: discussed with her previously my concerns about our friendship fading

915
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 3: away and how I wished we could keep what we

916
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 3: originally had. I expressed this to her many times, and

917
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 3: each time she would express how she also wanted that

918
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 3: and would promise to put more effort into our friendship

919
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:12,080
Speaker 3: and communicating. So really, op did communicate all of this,

920
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 3: and the friendship test was just her being like, Okay,

921
00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:16,320
Speaker 3: you know what, I can't do this anymore. It was

922
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 3: only after months of seeing these promises not being kept

923
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 3: that I decided to do this friendship test. As long

924
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 3: as I've known Victoria, she's never had any social problems

925
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 3: or disorders such as add ADHD, etc. I know it's

926
00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 3: possible that this could have developed later in life, but

927
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 3: she's someone who is very expressive and posts about her

928
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 3: life and her struggles, and she's never made any posts

929
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 3: discussing issues such as these. The word test might not

930
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 3: have been the right descriptor to describe my actions, but

931
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 3: it seemed like the simplest term to use in general.

932
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 3: I wanted to see if she would ever start a

933
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 3: conversation with me first, or take initiative to try and

934
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 3: do so. She has many other friends that are in

935
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:54,400
Speaker 3: similar situations as I am. By this, I mean they

936
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:57,280
Speaker 3: have moved away from college or moved and she always

937
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,400
Speaker 3: talked about how much effort she put into keeping in

938
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 3: touch with them and how she even visited them. I

939
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 3: am not the only one from her friend group that

940
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:06,800
Speaker 3: left the area. Prior to this test, I tried to

941
00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 3: keep in contact with her, often sending her life updates,

942
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,399
Speaker 3: asking how she is, congratulating her on milestones and life

943
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 3: events such as birthdays, sending her gifts, and taking charge

944
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 3: on planning trips back and working my schedule around when

945
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 3: she was available.

946
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:22,839
Speaker 2: Do you think she may have been with another person

947
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,239
Speaker 2: or like with a significant other.

948
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know if it necessarily matters, because

949
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:28,640
Speaker 3: I feel like like, even if you have a significant other,

950
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 3: if you're not giving time to your friends.

951
00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 4: Then it's just they don't have to be your friend.

952
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, she would either respond with one message

953
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,200
Speaker 3: and then keep me on red or not respond at all.

954
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 3: By the way, we will always respond to you if

955
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:44,200
Speaker 3: you join us live every weekday through PMPSD on YouTube.

956
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 3: Just tab her profile. She's made comments the last time

957
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 3: I went to see her, when we hung out with

958
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,760
Speaker 3: some of her friends at a family event that started

959
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 3: this whole test process, such as I have the locations

960
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,000
Speaker 3: of all my friends on my phone, even those in

961
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 3: different states.

962
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 1: We did not do this.

963
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 3: Sarah fake name is so busy, but I made sure

964
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 3: to text her once every two weeks to check in

965
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:05,280
Speaker 3: and others that made it seem like she was letting

966
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 3: me know we weren't friends anymore. After reading some of

967
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 3: your comments, I reached out to her again to try

968
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,080
Speaker 3: and understand her side of the situation. She stated it

969
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 3: was my fault for moving away and that it was

970
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 3: on me to keep the friendship alive. I shouldn't expect

971
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 3: her to visit me and put in more effort when

972
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,359
Speaker 3: I was the reason all of this started. I asked

973
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,360
Speaker 3: her why she was able to keep in contact with

974
00:47:24,440 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 3: other friends in similar situations, and she didn't answer, just

975
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:30,560
Speaker 3: kept saying if I wanted a friendship, then it was

976
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,960
Speaker 3: my responsibility to keep in touch, and she'll respond if

977
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 3: she remembers and or wants to.

978
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 4: That's so messed up.

979
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 3: It's your responsible to keep in touch, and I'll do

980
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 3: it if I want to.

981
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 2: And as I've settled, the show many, many, many of times. Yeah,

982
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 2: I always encourage friendships that you're excited to be around. Yeah,

983
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 2: I can't wait to be this person. Yeah. Yeah.

984
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 3: If your friends are like exhausting you every time you

985
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 3: see them, it's the road, Jack, don't you come back?

986
00:47:57,960 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 4: But that is the end of that story.

987
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 1: Hey y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

988
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 1: back to the story. So but here's a quick three

989
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 1: minute break from as for more sponsors.

990
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 2: My best friend started ghosting me after I got engaged.

991
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 2: Now I think our twelve year relationship is over. So,

992
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 2: as the title says, my female thirty two best friend

993
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,920
Speaker 2: female thirty one, let's call her Opal into our relationship.

994
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Ended our relationship in August after a

995
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 2: big misunderstanding along with some odd behavior leading up to

996
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:34,200
Speaker 2: the misunderstanding. By the way, this comes from sparkle Bunny

997
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 2: on the r sush Okay story Tom Subred, So some

998
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 2: general background on us and the situation. Open and I

999
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:44,240
Speaker 2: met twelve years ago in college and were instantly best friends.

1000
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,239
Speaker 2: Love that we shared the same hobbies, interests, and most

1001
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:52,879
Speaker 2: of the same values. Both super nerdy too and into

1002
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 2: fantasy slash gaming relevant things nice. About six years ago,

1003
00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 2: I moved out of state for a bit and Opal

1004
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 2: met a group of people at work who played D

1005
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 2: and D and she joined their group and shared their

1006
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 2: adventure stories with me all the time. When I moved

1007
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 2: back to my home state in twenty twenty two, Ople

1008
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 2: kept saying I need to meet the DM Dungeon Masters.

1009
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:16,600
Speaker 2: For those who may not know, all of the Dungeons

1010
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:19,359
Speaker 2: and Dragon group as well as joined the group. Let's

1011
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:23,960
Speaker 2: call DM mail thirty one Mark Mark. I finally agreed

1012
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 2: and asked to join the group. When I did, Mark

1013
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 2: and I clicked instantly and became fast friends and lovers woo.

1014
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 2: Not just fast friends, but I'm calling lovers oo. Then

1015
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 2: in early twenty three, he asked me out and we

1016
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 2: began dating best friends and lovers. I discovered later that

1017
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 2: Opel and the others a bit all help set us up.

1018
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 2: Shout out Opel at that moment, Yeah, with Opel encouraging

1019
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 2: him to ask me out before he'd work up the

1020
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:52,360
Speaker 2: nerve to do so.

1021
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 1: I love this.

1022
00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 2: Wow, this wing woman, wing Woman of the Year. When

1023
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 2: I told her he asked me out, and she said

1024
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 2: she was ecstatic for me, even saying she better be

1025
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 2: my bait of honor because she set this all up

1026
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 2: and that I had to name a child after her. Hahaha.

1027
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 2: All seemed great.

1028
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 4: It seems everything's working out. We love it.

1029
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 2: Now to the main situation. A few months into Marx

1030
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:20,240
Speaker 2: and I's relationship, I ended up evicted from my family's

1031
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 2: house because they disapprove of Mark because he's a DM.

1032
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:26,279
Speaker 4: He's a DM. He's just a little bit too dangerous.

1033
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 4: It's a bad boy.

1034
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 2: I had either the streets or his place to go.

1035
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:32,360
Speaker 2: He and I had a plan to live together so

1036
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:37,200
Speaker 2: early in our romantic relationship, but circumstances forced it. Ople

1037
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 2: helped me tremendously getting my belongings moved over, and she

1038
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 2: was fantastic at first.

1039
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,279
Speaker 3: No Opaul, what did you do?

1040
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,280
Speaker 2: After about a month of me living with Mark, Ople

1041
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 2: suddenly said she thought we were getting too serious too quickly. Well,

1042
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 2: you literally wanted them to name their child after you.

1043
00:50:56,160 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 2: She also started acting cooler slash colder towards me, not

1044
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:04,399
Speaker 2: responding as much to my messages, and in general being

1045
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:07,759
Speaker 2: very short in her replies. I knew that she had

1046
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:10,279
Speaker 2: mentioned back in twenty twenty two that she and Mark

1047
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 2: and another person were thinking about finding a place together,

1048
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:16,839
Speaker 2: so I would mention how excited I was about living

1049
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 2: with her too, but she downplayed it big time and

1050
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 2: made it clear that she wasn't saving up after all.

1051
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:27,520
Speaker 2: Then she started coming more erratically to dungeons and dragon sessions,

1052
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:31,799
Speaker 2: or canceling coming to hangouts with us and instead went

1053
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 2: to conventions or some other events on her off days.

1054
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,640
Speaker 2: Other than that, when she started suddenly prioritizing so much

1055
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:40,479
Speaker 2: over me at her and I got annoyed but tried

1056
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,520
Speaker 2: to brush it off. Okay, she's super busy and has

1057
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 2: a successful life. Knowing this, I would take her to

1058
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 2: lunch slash dinner and through a birthday party when her

1059
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:54,600
Speaker 2: family couldn't invited her out, etc. Then around October to

1060
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,880
Speaker 2: November last year, her family was threatened with an eviction

1061
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 2: due to some issues with the apartment. The day they

1062
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 2: needed to fix the apartment, cleaning up Big Tom, the

1063
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:06,920
Speaker 2: group had a D and D session. Looking back, I

1064
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 2: wish I'd cancel it, but we asked her if she

1065
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,720
Speaker 2: and her family were okay. She said some friends slash

1066
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,879
Speaker 2: coworkers and other family were going to help them out,

1067
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 2: but never asked our group for help. But I really

1068
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:21,200
Speaker 2: thought by saying she had others Opel was saying it

1069
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 2: was okay. As it turned out, the people who promised

1070
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 2: them to help never showed up. We, or at least

1071
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 2: I didn't hear about that until after the fact.

1072
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 3: I think if I probably would have been like, hey,

1073
00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:34,000
Speaker 3: do you need help, I probably would have offered it.

1074
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 3: It doesn't sound like they offered it necessarily. No, but

1075
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 3: I mean it's not necessarily. It's not their fault, but

1076
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 3: I think I probably would have offered if my friend

1077
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,240
Speaker 3: said ham moving.

1078
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 2: Or something, yeah, I'd be like, okay, let me help

1079
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 2: you out.

1080
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, like do you need any extra help?

1081
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: Ye oh yeah. I felt awful, but I offered to help.

1082
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 2: The following week. They got an extension if possible offer

1083
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 2: was refused with help was needed last week. Come on.

1084
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 2: Despite her not saying she needed help until it was

1085
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 2: too I still made efforts after that to check in

1086
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 2: on her if I heard for Christmas get togethers and

1087
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 2: all that, and she started to seem almost normal again.

1088
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 2: They weren't evicted. Luckily, we had a good party after years,

1089
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 2: and all seemed okayish. She was still acting cold like

1090
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:19,759
Speaker 2: she had after Mark and I moved in until late

1091
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:25,240
Speaker 2: February slash early March. Mark asked me what style rings

1092
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 2: I liked. I was super excited. He wanted to torment

1093
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 2: me with anticipation, so of course I messaged her about

1094
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 2: the ring he was hunting, and she suddenly left our

1095
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:39,439
Speaker 2: mutual friends group chat and told me we needed to talk.

1096
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 4: I wonder if she's like jealous of Mark, like she

1097
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:42,439
Speaker 4: wanted to be with Mark.

1098
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude, oh yeah, Because she was like, oh Mark,

1099
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 2: I'll be a good friend. I'll be a good friend

1100
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:50,879
Speaker 2: of the D and D. Let's get them together, guys,

1101
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 2: this will be so funny. And I think she was

1102
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:55,680
Speaker 2: probably the most excited about it because she was masking.

1103
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 4: She's like, that's great. I'm so glad you like her.

1104
00:53:59,440 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 1: I love it.

1105
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 4: But the whole time she was like, they're not gonna last.

1106
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,120
Speaker 2: So we met up mid March twenty twenty four, and

1107
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 2: she told me how upset she was about me not

1108
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 2: showing up, and how I relied on her and Mark

1109
00:54:10,239 --> 00:54:13,160
Speaker 2: too much for emotional support, and that I let the

1110
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 2: others in the group chat be mean to her. I

1111
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:18,359
Speaker 2: tried to listen and remain calm, but it came off

1112
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:21,719
Speaker 2: so aggressive that I got defensive not proud here. And

1113
00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:25,879
Speaker 2: while I didn't insult her, I asked her sarcastically, how

1114
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 2: else have I been a horrible friend?

1115
00:54:28,239 --> 00:54:28,399
Speaker 1: Then?

1116
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 2: Please tell me I am. After about an hour of

1117
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 2: us arguing, neither of us handled it well, and I'll

1118
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 2: admit she stormed out without another word. Yeah.

1119
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 3: It seems like just a lot of miscommunication going on

1120
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 3: here and just not healthily, you know, dealing with their

1121
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 3: airing out their problems.

1122
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 2: Everyone's beating herund the bush. Yeah, tell her how it is. Hey, come,

1123
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 2: I need your help? Yeah?

1124
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:50,319
Speaker 4: Should I mean yeah?

1125
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:52,440
Speaker 3: On Opal's end, she should have said, hey, I need

1126
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:55,040
Speaker 3: some help here, and on their end, I probably would

1127
00:54:55,040 --> 00:54:55,799
Speaker 3: have offered.

1128
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 2: Exactly after gooling down and really looking at the situation

1129
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 2: and seeing the re That's an ish interview of Blink

1130
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 2: one point eighty two where they mentioned putting their egos aside.

1131
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 2: I decided to do just that and put my own

1132
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:12,839
Speaker 2: ego aside and apologize to her for my side of things.

1133
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:16,320
Speaker 2: Cried my eyes out while typing her the message about

1134
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:19,280
Speaker 2: being sorry I wasn't there to help and for arguing

1135
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 2: instead of just hearing her out, et cetera. It was

1136
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 2: just hard, but I apologize without blaming her at all,

1137
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 2: and then asked if we could meet up again so

1138
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 2: I could say sorry in person and be willing to

1139
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:33,839
Speaker 2: really hear her out this time.

1140
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,640
Speaker 4: Okay, that's a good response. I think that's really nice.

1141
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:38,919
Speaker 2: Finally, after a bit, I tried to reach out again

1142
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 2: and apologize, ask her how I could make it up.

1143
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:44,760
Speaker 2: She said we were over that in August and about

1144
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 2: a week after Mark proposed to me, which of course

1145
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:50,640
Speaker 2: I'm ecstatic about. It's almost two months after she ended us,

1146
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,439
Speaker 2: and I am all over the place. I'm almost numb,

1147
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 2: but sad in her and confused. I was there for

1148
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:59,560
Speaker 2: her throughout the twelve years, even when I was long distance,

1149
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 2: staying up, listening to her, taking her own trips, and

1150
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:07,160
Speaker 2: she had become basically a member of my family. Her

1151
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:09,800
Speaker 2: mom loved me, and I got along with her aunts.

1152
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 2: I've lost the sister and it hurts so bad. You

1153
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 2: can never lose us if you join us live every

1154
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 2: weekday at three pmpist just.

1155
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:19,600
Speaker 4: Do what tap our profile.

1156
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 2: Sorry, it's along, and thank you for listening to my rent.

1157
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 2: How biggest questions are? Am I crazy that I seemed

1158
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:27,840
Speaker 2: like she was actually upset about Mark and I had

1159
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:31,000
Speaker 2: become serious, but couldn't admit it, I asked, because of

1160
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:34,359
Speaker 2: the timing in her cutting me off when she knew

1161
00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:37,799
Speaker 2: that he was proposing, I think, and also the fact

1162
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:40,319
Speaker 2: that she blames me not showing up despite the fact

1163
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,640
Speaker 2: no one else showed up. She remained close to all

1164
00:56:42,719 --> 00:56:45,080
Speaker 2: of them, but only cut me off.

1165
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:46,840
Speaker 3: Well, all the things that we know, we know. She

1166
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 3: was upset that you didn't come help her out. She

1167
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,560
Speaker 3: was upset that you and Mark were moving in together,

1168
00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,399
Speaker 3: and then you were you thing about to get proposed yep.

1169
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:58,800
Speaker 2: And then whenever they didn't help out, they were like,

1170
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:01,520
Speaker 2: it was your fault. Yeah, Mark's fault. My other question,

1171
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 2: should I just let this all go or block her

1172
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,840
Speaker 2: reach out to ask for closure? I thought about writing

1173
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 2: her letter or something, but it would just be pointless

1174
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:12,800
Speaker 2: and hurting myself more. Am I the jerk here? Or

1175
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:13,720
Speaker 2: are we both jerks?

1176
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:18,120
Speaker 3: I think you were both jerks, But now you apologized,

1177
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,479
Speaker 3: so you're in the clear. I think you can only

1178
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:23,760
Speaker 3: do There's nothing more you can do right now. No,

1179
00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 3: I don't think blog. I don't think you should block.

1180
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 2: No, I don't blog her.

1181
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,160
Speaker 3: That's a little too far. But I do think just

1182
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 3: you know, maybe she'll come around, Maybe she won't. You've

1183
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 3: done your part.

1184
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, agreed, agreed. I's seen to that story. We

1185
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,760
Speaker 2: got another one for you guys.

1186
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 3: My best friend got engaged, but I was in love

1187
00:57:41,920 --> 00:57:46,440
Speaker 3: with him. No tragedy twenty eight male and twenty eight female.

1188
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:49,439
Speaker 3: He was my best friend. Anyway, we'll call him Jake.

1189
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 3: We met the summer before our freshman year of high

1190
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 3: school and ended up going to homecoming together. He was

1191
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 3: my first kiss during a slow dance. Oh, he looked

1192
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 3: at me, said my name, and kissed me. We dated

1193
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,040
Speaker 3: for a few months, but we were just kids. Oh.

1194
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from egirl eight thirteen on

1195
00:58:05,240 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 3: the Okay Storytime subured it, so we decided we'd be

1196
00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 3: better off as friends, and so we spent all of

1197
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 3: high school being the best of friends. We had a

1198
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 3: group of about eight very close friends, six guys and

1199
00:58:15,600 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 3: two girls. I know what you're thinking. No, she and

1200
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:21,920
Speaker 3: I didn't have any type of relationship beyond friendship with any.

1201
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:23,919
Speaker 4: Of them aside from me and Jake.

1202
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 3: We'd all spend as much time as possible together at

1203
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 3: Jake's house, lying on the basement floor, talking and laughing

1204
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 3: about philosophy, dreams, space history, sports, girls and guys we

1205
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 3: liked and disliked all between bites of pizza. Oh, what

1206
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 3: is this that seventy show?

1207
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 2: Come on?

1208
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 4: Jake and I had a special.

1209
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:48,360
Speaker 3: Kind of friendship and everyone knew it, but nobody, including us,

1210
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 3: knew how to describe it. We just understood each other

1211
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 3: and always looked out for each other. He was there

1212
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:55,480
Speaker 3: for me when things got rough at home, and I

1213
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:59,120
Speaker 3: was there for him through countless injuries and heartbreaks. He's

1214
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:02,160
Speaker 3: a very clumsy, very loving goofball. We couldn't help but

1215
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,640
Speaker 3: smile when we were together, and I never felt so

1216
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 3: at home with another person in my life.

1217
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 2: Oh stopish.

1218
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:12,280
Speaker 3: I always encouraged him to do what made him happy,

1219
00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:14,919
Speaker 3: even if it seemed crazy, and he did the same

1220
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:15,200
Speaker 3: for me.

1221
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 2: Once.

1222
00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 3: He even packed his car full of our friends to

1223
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,360
Speaker 3: drive to my college and make me come home for

1224
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 3: the weekend, just because they felt like I'd been gone

1225
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 3: too long.

1226
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 2: I dang, Dig's a good guy.

1227
00:59:26,800 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 4: I don't marry her.

1228
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:29,120
Speaker 2: Don't do it.

1229
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:31,040
Speaker 3: I think we both knew we had some sort of

1230
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 3: feelings for each other, but we just never acted on it.

1231
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 3: We spent all of high school and college in this

1232
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 3: weird circle where he would get a girlfriend and I'd

1233
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 3: be single, secretly wishing I could be with him. Then

1234
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 3: I'd move on and get a boyfriend and he would

1235
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 3: be single, secretly wishing he could be with me. Every

1236
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,200
Speaker 3: time I came home from college, we'd meet at the

1237
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:51,440
Speaker 3: same restaurant and catch up and it felt like we

1238
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 3: could talk all night, but it was always hard to

1239
00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 3: say goodbye. We all spent the summers together, and I'd

1240
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 3: hope nothing would ever change.

1241
00:59:57,600 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 2: All right. If this was happening to me and I

1242
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 2: felt this way about someone, I'd be like, look, I'm

1243
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:02,560
Speaker 2: waiting on you.

1244
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:03,680
Speaker 4: I'm waiting on you.

1245
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 2: Can stay with that guy.

1246
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:05,200
Speaker 1: Oh.

1247
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 3: This went on for ten years, and then finally it happened.

1248
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 3: We were both single, two years out of college, and

1249
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:16,400
Speaker 3: one night he was at my house and he looked

1250
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:20,560
Speaker 3: at me, said my name, and kissed me. For the

1251
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:23,160
Speaker 3: next few months, we spent every day together and it

1252
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,760
Speaker 3: was like a dream. Even our friends couldn't be happier.

1253
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 3: But eventually he started acting different, not mean or anything,

1254
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 3: he just treated me differently. He wasn't acting like I

1255
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 3: was the same girl he'd known the last ten years.

1256
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 3: He would coddle me and baby me, even though he

1257
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 3: knew I wasn't that type of girl. I asked him

1258
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:40,360
Speaker 3: why he would do that, and he said he thought

1259
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:42,479
Speaker 3: that's what girls liked. I asked him to just treat

1260
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:44,880
Speaker 3: me like me, and he did for a day or two,

1261
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:47,640
Speaker 3: but then started again. It was like we couldn't be

1262
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 3: us anymore because he needed to be delicate and needy

1263
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 3: like his exes were. I'm not trying to be mean,

1264
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 3: they really just were quite.

1265
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:55,000
Speaker 4: Needy, and he enjoyed that.

1266
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:57,280
Speaker 3: We had a serious talk about it and decided to

1267
01:00:57,320 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 3: we cared too much about each other to ruin our friendship,

1268
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,800
Speaker 3: so we called it off again after less than six months,

1269
01:01:03,240 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 3: and I knew that was my last chance.

1270
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 2: Bomber low Key could work through that.

1271
01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 3: We still spent a lot of time together and we

1272
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:12,720
Speaker 3: really went right back to how we were before. I

1273
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:14,960
Speaker 3: was so upset that we couldn't figure out how to

1274
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:17,360
Speaker 3: just be together, but I would rather have my best

1275
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 3: friend than an ex I never see again. Fast forward

1276
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:23,000
Speaker 3: two years, we hadn't seen each other nearly as much,

1277
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:24,560
Speaker 3: and I felt like that was for the best.

1278
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,120
Speaker 4: I could still support and care.

1279
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:28,560
Speaker 3: About him, but maybe it was time for a little distance.

1280
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:31,200
Speaker 3: I have a boyfriend, and he has a girlfriend, and

1281
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:34,360
Speaker 3: she's exactly his type, and I was happy for him

1282
01:01:34,520 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 3: that I knew what was coming. I knew there would

1283
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 3: come a day where he would have to choose between

1284
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,479
Speaker 3: a relationship with her and keeping me around, because let's

1285
01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 3: face it, we aren't kids anymore. We're not getting any younger,

1286
01:01:44,320 --> 01:01:46,560
Speaker 3: and honestly, who would want their boyfriend to be friends

1287
01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:48,960
Speaker 3: with a girl. He tried to date twice but kept

1288
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 3: around despite that. I get it, I really do, but

1289
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 3: that didn't stop it from breaking my heart. Pretty soon

1290
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:58,960
Speaker 3: after they started dating, that day came. I honestly didn't

1291
01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,360
Speaker 3: realize it had happened for almost a year, because again,

1292
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 3: we hadn't seen each other that much. I only contacted

1293
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 3: him to invite them to things our friend groups did together.

1294
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:10,520
Speaker 3: Every time I'd reach out, he had an excuse to

1295
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:12,920
Speaker 3: miss it, and I really thought nothing of it. But

1296
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 3: one day it clicked. Since then, I've seen him maybe

1297
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,000
Speaker 3: once a year for the last four years, and I've

1298
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 3: accepted that. Last week they got engaged. Oh ouch ouchie.

1299
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 4: They tried. Yeah, you guys tried twice.

1300
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:29,640
Speaker 2: I guess tried but failed. I think I think there

1301
01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 2: was success, failed, succeeded.

1302
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 3: I've been waiting for that moment for years, and I

1303
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:37,200
Speaker 3: told myself that when it came, I would be nothing

1304
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,520
Speaker 3: but happy for him, but that just wasn't true. It

1305
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:42,200
Speaker 3: broke my heart and I cried for much longer than

1306
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:44,439
Speaker 3: I felt like I deserved to. Our friends are throwing

1307
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 3: him a party, and I, of course I'm not invited.

1308
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 4: That sucks.

1309
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:51,000
Speaker 3: I definitely won't be invited to the wedding, and well,

1310
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:52,960
Speaker 3: I'm basically not invited to be a part of the

1311
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 3: rest of his life. I think it took until that

1312
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 3: moment for me to fully understand that he was gone,

1313
01:02:58,440 --> 01:03:00,919
Speaker 3: because some little part of me sell officially hoped we'd

1314
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,040
Speaker 3: still find a way back to each other. By the way,

1315
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:05,440
Speaker 3: you can always find a way back to us by

1316
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:08,200
Speaker 3: joining us live every weekda at three pm PST on YouTube.

1317
01:03:08,280 --> 01:03:09,040
Speaker 3: Just tap her profile.

1318
01:03:09,160 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 2: The reason they didn't work out was because he babied

1319
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:12,760
Speaker 2: her so much. That's it.

1320
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, what the thing is that I think that they

1321
01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 3: are both so worried about their friendship they didn't want to.

1322
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:19,320
Speaker 2: Put in risk.

1323
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 4: Yeah they were good.

1324
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 3: Oh well it might not work out, so let's let's

1325
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:26,000
Speaker 3: just take a step back. Even though I moved to

1326
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:27,840
Speaker 3: the city and made new friends and he got a

1327
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 3: job far away, I just hope that all that time

1328
01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:31,960
Speaker 3: that somehow it would be him.

1329
01:03:31,960 --> 01:03:32,640
Speaker 4: I'd end up with.

1330
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 3: Neither of us are the kind of people that would

1331
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:37,280
Speaker 3: stir up any trouble, so I've never told him how

1332
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:39,439
Speaker 3: I felt and if he feels the same, I'm sure

1333
01:03:39,480 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 3: he won't speak up either. I know this is a

1334
01:03:41,240 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 3: long post, but that's kind of what the SAB is

1335
01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:47,560
Speaker 3: for long overdue, long time coming, long stories. It feels

1336
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 3: good to at least tell some strangers that I never

1337
01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:51,760
Speaker 3: stopped loving him. I feel like I lost so much

1338
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:53,960
Speaker 3: more than a best friend. He's truly the one that

1339
01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 3: got away. My life feels like the unsatisfying ending of

1340
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:58,680
Speaker 3: a nineties rom comso.

1341
01:03:58,840 --> 01:03:59,920
Speaker 1: And that is the freakin end.

1342
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:05,520
Speaker 3: I'm unsatisfied too, man, that was sad. Go after I mean, like,

1343
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 3: but yeah, I think steps break up with boyfriend. Go

1344
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:12,840
Speaker 3: after your ex, say hey, I'm like, not at the wedding,

1345
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:13,800
Speaker 3: don't do it at the wedding.

1346
01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:14,400
Speaker 4: Do it now.

1347
01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:16,600
Speaker 3: We'll break up to the X and then go and

1348
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:18,880
Speaker 3: be like, hey, I know you're about to get married,

1349
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 3: but I need to tell you that I'm still in

1350
01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:23,160
Speaker 3: love with you. And then you just leave, you know,

1351
01:04:23,320 --> 01:04:24,960
Speaker 3: you just you say Hi, I just wanted to like

1352
01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 3: be frank with you. I am still in love with you,

1353
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 3: and you know, if you don't feel that way, totally fine,

1354
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:32,520
Speaker 3: I understand, but I just needed to get it off

1355
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:34,120
Speaker 3: my chest and then leave that's the end of that

1356
01:04:34,240 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 3: story and the end of this episode. So if you

1357
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:38,960
Speaker 3: love us, make sure to subscribe.

1358
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,040
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.