Speaker 1: Also media. Hey everyone, Jamie here just reminding you that
Speaker 1: I will be on tour with Caitlin Dorante for the
Speaker 1: Bechdel Cast Tour in Los Angeles, San Francisco in Portland,
Speaker 1: Oregon this January. You can get irl and streaming tickets
Speaker 1: in the description of this episode.
Speaker 2: See you there. But today we're talking about hogs.
Speaker 1: Let's get into the show. Wow, Wow, it's so great
Speaker 1: you're here. Welcome to the minis the first and last
Speaker 1: sixteenth Minute Award show where we give out seven I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure seven made up awards to your favorite moments
Speaker 1: on the sometimes goofy, sometimes depressing, often both podcast sixteenth Minute.
Speaker 2: I'm your host, Jamie Loftus.
Speaker 1: And next week we'll be back to your normally scheduled programming,
Speaker 1: taking a look at the internet's characters of the day
Speaker 1: and seeing how their viral moment affected them and what
Speaker 1: it says how about the Internet US. But to close
Speaker 1: out the year on our New Year's Eve episode, I
Speaker 1: wanted to take some time to reflect on this year
Speaker 1: on the Internet and on.
Speaker 2: Subjects of this show specifically.
Speaker 1: I recently asked listeners on Twitter and Blue Sky and
Speaker 1: Instagram ever heard of them about your favorite stories on
Speaker 1: this show and what you'd like to see in the future,
Speaker 1: and I encourage you to keep letting me know what
Speaker 1: stories you'd like to hear about. And in the meantime,
Speaker 1: I wanted to give a trophy, and by a trophy
Speaker 1: I mean an ugly drawing of a trophy that I
Speaker 1: made to my favorite moments, not just on this show
Speaker 1: looking backward, but to the moments whose fifteenth minute has
Speaker 1: not yet concluded. Because, folks, it has not been a
Speaker 1: fun year on the Internet or in the world. I
Speaker 1: wanted to take a moment to have a little fun
Speaker 1: with my parasocial little friends. And for the record, the
Speaker 1: minis are fully inspired by one of my all time
Speaker 1: favorite podcasts, who Weekly, Who's Whomys episode I look forward
Speaker 1: to every single year here and the last Culturista's Culture Awards.
Speaker 2: So sit back, crack.
Speaker 1: A Mike's Hard lemonade or whatever your personal equivalent is,
Speaker 1: and let's dive in. Thank you for being a listener,
Speaker 1: and welcome to the Mini Awards. Welcome back to the
Speaker 1: Minis sixteenth minutes, first and only award show for your
Speaker 1: favorite moments on the show this year and my favorite
Speaker 1: moments on the Internet in general, let's get started with
Speaker 1: a very competitive category best supporting Character in a sixteenth
Speaker 1: minute story. Your nominees are the cousin from the Wicked
Speaker 1: Witch of the East bro story who pulled out a knife.
Speaker 1: Even though most people who watch the video don't notice that.
Speaker 1: We're going from our Tumbler bone Witch episode the Bones
Speaker 1: from our Mormon episodes the Torture iss search for meaning
Speaker 1: and order in life that often can lean one down
Speaker 1: the path of subservience and even cruelty, from our Fish
Speaker 1: who Fell from the Sky episode Alice the Fish, the
Speaker 1: wickedly talented thirty to fifty faral Hogs, and finally, from
Speaker 1: our Boston slide cop episode the Slide. Very competitive category,
Speaker 1: tell you what, but there can only be one winner,
Speaker 1: and that winner is.
Speaker 2: The Slide.
Speaker 1: Congratulations to the slide, very very close raised. People love
Speaker 1: those damn hogs. We're so thrilled for them, and unfortunately
Speaker 1: the slide is still stuck in Boston due to being
Speaker 1: an inanimate object. But sent along this following message as
Speaker 1: an acceptance.
Speaker 2: I'll try to read it in character. What the fuck's
Speaker 2: up you guys?
Speaker 1: Thank you for my flowers, but wipe it out.
Speaker 2: That fucking pig Go bruins.
Speaker 1: Wow, really amazing. Congratulations to her. Next up, we have
Speaker 1: our technical categories. There's just a couple, and we're going
Speaker 1: to start with Best Cinematography in a Viral Moment twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four. Your nominees are at the pawn nun d
Speaker 1: or MoU dang zoo keeper who shot her to fame
Speaker 1: earlier this year.
Speaker 2: The next nominee.
Speaker 1: I honestly could not find a name for, but hopefully
Speaker 1: the more respectful photographer who caught the you were so
Speaker 1: rude to me moment at the Grammys from Chapel Roan
Speaker 1: as she yelled at a different photographer.
Speaker 2: Correctly, I might.
Speaker 1: Add, you were yelled at your Grammy party expectors.
Speaker 3: Never sold to and you might deserve.
Speaker 1: All your next nominee Resa Tisa of the who the
Speaker 1: Fuck Did I Marry? TikTok compilation some of the most
Speaker 1: thrilling in the car multipart vertical cinematography ever committed to
Speaker 1: a lady's phone.
Speaker 4: Please excuse the hair, but here is part one of
Speaker 4: who the Fuck did I'm Marry?
Speaker 1: And finally, the camera person who managed to not even
Speaker 1: laugh a little as the holding space for defying gravity
Speaker 1: moment happened during the Wicked press tour this winter.
Speaker 5: I've seen this week people are taking the lyrics of
Speaker 5: defying gravity and really holding space with that and feeling
Speaker 5: power in that.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that that was happening. I've seen it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's really powerful.
Speaker 2: Oof.
Speaker 1: A lot of moments, a lot of moments, a lot
Speaker 1: of innovation in the field.
Speaker 2: But the winner is.
Speaker 1: Resa Tisa, who would have also won Best Writing for
Speaker 1: an original set of viral videos, showing some of the
Speaker 1: strongest work in my opinion, in that genre since Zola
Speaker 1: a true storyteller. Incredible great cinematography from Resa Tisa. And
Speaker 1: now for a sixteenth minute specific technical category, sound or
Speaker 1: the only thing that I am able to provide you
Speaker 1: with in this flawed and imperfect medium. Let's check out
Speaker 1: the nominees best use of sound in a sixteenth minute episode.
Speaker 1: Our first nominee has been nominated kind of the Meryl
Speaker 1: streap of this category. You could say the airhorn. Here's
Speaker 1: an example of some really powerful airhorn use. In twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four. Your next nominee SAD thirteen aka CD Dupui,
Speaker 1: for the sixteenth minute theme, Oh this is thrilling. The
Speaker 1: third nominee is me saying hell yeah every time. I
Speaker 1: got very uncomfortable while interviewing the Curvy Wife guy. And finally,
Speaker 1: in exchange I had with the Philadelphia Chicken Man Alex,
Speaker 1: when I asked him why he was cutting up traffic
Speaker 1: cones with copper wire?
Speaker 2: I said, to what end?
Speaker 1: And he replied, nominee number four to the very end,
Speaker 1: very competitive category, and the winner is a dead tie
Speaker 1: between two Philadelphia legends. First winner to the very end, Yes,
Speaker 1: indeed tied for the best sound aired on this program
Speaker 1: in the last calendar year. Was my voyage to Philadelphia
Speaker 1: to go to the man who ate forty rotisserie chickens
Speaker 1: in forty days in icon a legend, and for some reason,
Speaker 1: in the middle of the interview, he let me know
Speaker 1: that he cut up traffic cones using copper wire, allegedly
Speaker 1: to relax. You remember it, and I certainly can't forget it.
Speaker 1: It haunts me in a good way. So congratulations to
Speaker 1: the tying winner, Alex Taminsky, who said this very scary
Speaker 1: thing to me and is a wonderful guy.
Speaker 2: Let's take one more Listen.
Speaker 6: I was doing this one really strange thing where I
Speaker 6: was cutting traffic cones with copper.
Speaker 7: Wire in my basement to an end, uh the very end.
Speaker 1: Okay, hell yeah, and bonus, he was generous enough to
Speaker 1: send along an acceptance speech here.
Speaker 6: It is so, I was informed that there was a
Speaker 6: handful of people that found interests and enjoyed the story
Speaker 6: of how I spent a good amount of time cutting
Speaker 6: orange traffic cones in my basement with copper wire.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Super honored and touched that, you know, people found something
Speaker 7: good about it. Just some big thanks to all of
Speaker 7: you and to Jamie for giving me an opportunity to
Speaker 7: share my story, and I hope everyone out there can
Speaker 7: find their cone and cut it.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much again to Alex, he's the best and.
Speaker 1: He shares this distinction with sad thirteen Sadie Dupui, tying
Speaker 1: with the sixteenth minute theme. This is by far the
Speaker 1: least prestigious award Sadie and company have ever received, as
Speaker 1: she is one of the most decorated women in her
Speaker 1: field of her generation. I'm not kidding the fact that
Speaker 1: she's even willing to collaborate will always be a baffling
Speaker 1: honor to me, which is why she is also receiving
Speaker 1: tonight's special award, Let's get some air horns. The Sixteenth
Speaker 1: Minute Lifetime Achievement Award goes to Sadie Dupui and to
Speaker 1: accept it, here is a voice memo I asked her
Speaker 1: to text me.
Speaker 9: Imagine my surprise when I was walking into a Mafia
Speaker 9: themed pizza restaurant in a strip mall in the suburbs
Speaker 9: to find out that I had won some awards. I
Speaker 9: was not expecting to win anything this year. I want
Speaker 9: to give a big shout out to Jamie and to
Speaker 9: Sophie and the whole Cool Zone media team and everyone
Speaker 9: who works on Sixteenth Minute.
Speaker 2: I love this show.
Speaker 9: I listen obsessively every single week. I skip past my
Speaker 9: song because that's the mental illness that I have. And
Speaker 9: I had a really fun time going on Reddit to
Speaker 9: talk to some of you guys and talk about the
Speaker 9: theme song, which apparently most of you like, other than
Speaker 9: the one of you who thinks you can make it better.
Speaker 9: Shout out to that person. I am recovering from a
Speaker 9: surgery right now. I haven't played guitar or sang in
Speaker 9: quite a while, but I when I heard that I'd
Speaker 9: won some awards, I felt just recovered enough to do
Speaker 9: a little special rendition of the theme song. So this
Speaker 9: is the preamble to my acceptance speech. My acceptance speech
Speaker 9: is the unrehearsed song to follow. Thank you, Jamie, Thank you, Sophie,
Speaker 9: thank you, sixteenth minute, Thank you to Internet main characters everywhere.
Speaker 9: This is Sadie Dupwee aka Sat thirteen, signing off with gratitude.
Speaker 5: I'm not so bad when you turn off the light
Speaker 5: spun one. Can't be perfect all of the time. Song
Speaker 5: make Me Star, just take it too far?
Speaker 10: Give me a mo minute, not enough sixteen sixteenth Man
Speaker 10: of Fame, sixteenth Minute of Fame, sixteenth of Fame.
Speaker 11: Fun Mint of Fame, not so bell?
Speaker 2: Will you take me off from the be.
Speaker 9: Your main character till we say goodbye?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: I mean things are heating up tonight. And our next
Speaker 1: category is my personal favorite best niche character no one
Speaker 1: has ever asked for an episode about, but I would
Speaker 1: like to make anyways.
Speaker 2: And the nominees are.
Speaker 1: Lucas kavar Aka, the nineteen year old who got locked
Speaker 1: in a cave the first week of his freshman year
Speaker 1: of college and it was reported in the New York
Speaker 1: Times but never broke through to the mainstream, although I
Speaker 1: think about it constantly. Your next nominee Club Shallow May.
Speaker 2: Hi, everyone, this is Samon Cromer.
Speaker 11: I'm the administrator of Club Shallow May, and today is
Speaker 11: the first episode of Club Shallow May Conversations.
Speaker 2: Interesting.
Speaker 1: Third nominee Joe Chestnut and ta Kiaro Kobayashi because uh,
Speaker 1: no one asked for this, but I already did it,
Speaker 1: and finally a popular nominee in this category, every single
Speaker 1: story about a baby that's a little too big.
Speaker 9: I have a question for everybody who wants to go
Speaker 9: to the Four Seasons Orlando.
Speaker 2: And the winner is.
Speaker 1: Yes, Lucas Kavar the Cave Kid, Thank God.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: While Club Shallow Bay still stands to get a chance
Speaker 1: to get her own episode down the line, and I
Speaker 1: may be forced at some point to write a story
Speaker 1: about a baby who used to be a little big
Speaker 1: but is now nineteen or something. But no, there will
Speaker 1: never be an episode about my favorite story of all time,
Speaker 1: a story absolutely no one remembers about Lucas Kavar the
Speaker 1: Cave Kid, and I'm pretty sure Lucas wants it that way,
Speaker 1: but I won't allow it to happen.
Speaker 2: Here is a story from the New York.
Speaker 1: Times in the moment, Ian, let's get a little action
Speaker 1: music going here. Lucas Kavar screamed for hours, hoping to
Speaker 1: get someone's attention. Bats, salamanders, crayfish, and beetles were his
Speaker 1: only company.
Speaker 2: Stranded in the cave without food or water, he.
Speaker 1: Was unsure that he would ever see his family again.
Speaker 1: He wrote notes to loved ones on his phone, which
Speaker 1: did not have a signal. He licked moisture off the
Speaker 1: cave walls and became so hungry he thought about eating crickets.
Speaker 1: What was supposed to be a fun adventure turned into
Speaker 1: a hellish fifty eight hours for mister Kavar, a nineteen
Speaker 1: year old Indiana University student who was left behind during
Speaker 1: a group expedition on September seventeenth to Sullivan Cave near Bloomington.
Speaker 2: It's the greatest story ever told. It's poetry. You wouldn't
Speaker 2: get it.
Speaker 1: Congratulation to Lucas Kavar, and let's throw an extra trophy
Speaker 1: to the cave and when we come back. Two of
Speaker 1: the most contentious awards of this year's minis sixteenth Minutes,
Speaker 1: Guest of the Year and Yes Folks twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: Four's main character. We'll be back.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the minis the first and last Sixteenth
Speaker 1: Minute Award show where unfortunately you just missed our special
Speaker 1: musical performance tonight. It was, of course, the kids Bop
Speaker 1: rendition of Espresso.
Speaker 10: Now then, mesously, I.
Speaker 2: Know sammis.
Speaker 1: Really good stuff, you guys, better than the original. Well, no,
Speaker 1: amazing job, kids. I look forward to seeing you as
Speaker 1: future victims on cable procedural shows.
Speaker 2: And now we have gotten down to it, babes.
Speaker 1: The final two categories of the minis one for the
Speaker 1: Character of the Year and one to the character who
Speaker 1: made this show very special. Yes, our next category is
Speaker 1: favorite sixteenth minute Guest.
Speaker 2: Your nominees are.
Speaker 1: The Philadelphia Chicken Man, Tasaica Brown, the Gorilla Glue Girl,
Speaker 1: Willie McNabb, thirty to fifty Feral Hogs Man, Antwine Donson,
Speaker 1: Hide your Kids, Hid your Wife, Ken Bone, and finally
Speaker 1: Lena Morris the overly attached Girlfriend. This category genuinely has
Speaker 1: been stressing me out. I asked you, the listeners to
Speaker 1: choose your favorite sixteenth minute guests. This is not my
Speaker 1: favorite guest, They're great, but you guys chose it, and after.
Speaker 2: Tallying tallying tallying up. Your winner is.
Speaker 1: Willie McNabb, the thirty to fifty feral hogs Man. Congratulations, Willy,
Speaker 1: he won your hearts and minds with the truth you
Speaker 1: should be concerned about between thirty and fifty faral hogs
Speaker 1: coming for your children. It turns out, and Willy did
Speaker 1: an excellent job of highlighting how the Internet is dominated
Speaker 1: with city dwellers, often to the detriment of rural Internet users.
Speaker 1: I was inspired to make this episode by a reply
Speaker 1: all episode from years ago. Willy is such a wonderful
Speaker 1: person and I am so pleased that he won. I
Speaker 1: informed him that he had won this prestigious award and
Speaker 1: he sent along a memo.
Speaker 3: First, I want to say thank you Jamie for inviting
Speaker 3: me on Your willingness to discuss this topic speaks to
Speaker 3: your desire to actually addressing a very difficult cultural issue.
Speaker 3: You were respectful to those with different opinions than yours.
Speaker 3: You were kind, balanced in your reporting, and thoughtful of
Speaker 3: all parties involved. Sixteenth Minute of Fame being named one
Speaker 3: of the top twenty podcasts of twenty twenty four is
Speaker 3: no surprise to me. I wish you nothing but continue success.
Speaker 3: And happiness in all aspects of your career and life. Second,
Speaker 3: because of this episode in your listeners, a lot of
Speaker 3: money was donated to Culture City, which is a nonprofit
Speaker 3: for sensory accessibility and acceptance for those with invisible disabilities.
Speaker 3: So a very good thing did come from all those
Speaker 3: T shirts which sat in boxes for almost five years.
Speaker 3: Thank you to everyone who donated. Third, the reason all
Speaker 3: of you found out about me was because of my
Speaker 3: reply tweet. I know there is new ownership of the platform,
Speaker 3: and I know he can make the platform to feel
Speaker 3: less inviting than it was, But in my way of thinking,
Speaker 3: substituting another billionaire social media platform for his doesn't make
Speaker 3: much sense. Anywhere we go or any platform we use,
Speaker 3: the platform will be owned by someone who is using
Speaker 3: our words as a profit center. Don't let that dissuade
Speaker 3: you from speaking out about what you want or what
Speaker 3: you believe in. Finally, if the jokes made at my
Speaker 3: expense help bridge the gap between rural and urban life,
Speaker 3: if it helps people from different walks of life sit
Speaker 3: down with each other with an earnest desire to listen
Speaker 3: to someone who doesn't look like them, talk like them,
Speaker 3: or live like them, solely to understand one another better.
Speaker 3: I'm here for it. If that sentiment becomes my legacy
Speaker 3: because of this tweet, I'm perfectly fine with always being
Speaker 3: known as the Faralhawk guy. Once again, Thank you Jamie
Speaker 3: and your listeners for your love of this episode.
Speaker 1: And in keeping with the lovely Willia McNabb's work and mission.
Speaker 2: You can learn more about Culture City.
Speaker 1: In the description of this episode. And now everyone, Our
Speaker 1: final category of the minis It's the Big One twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four's main Character of the Year. Your nominees are.
Speaker 12: MoU Dang Mooding heads into the new year bigger than ever, a.
Speaker 1: Late entry but significant. Nonetheless, Luigi Manjunne.
Speaker 8: We definitely know who wins time Sexiest alleged murderer of
Speaker 8: the Year. That would go to Luigi Mangioni, the suspect
Speaker 8: in the shooting of the CEO of United Healthcare, who
Speaker 8: has become the hottest cold blooded killer Hawk.
Speaker 2: To a girl, Hailey Welch.
Speaker 10: What's one move in bed that makes a mango crazy
Speaker 10: every time?
Speaker 6: Oh, you gotta give him that hawk, dude, spend on that.
Speaker 1: Jules Lebron, who popularized the word demure.
Speaker 4: You see how you do my makeup for work? Very demure,
Speaker 4: very mindful. I don't come to work with a green
Speaker 4: cut crease, don't look like a clown when I go
Speaker 4: to work, I don't do too much. I'm very mindful
Speaker 4: while I'm at work.
Speaker 1: What category would be complete without the wrizzler.
Speaker 2: Snacks, the scoop, the gummies?
Speaker 7: No oh, the cookies, Yeah, the cookies, the bone shaped ones.
Speaker 1: And finally, Australia's own reygun.
Speaker 12: For breakdancing had everyone talking for all the wrong reasons?
Speaker 3: Is that a kangaroo reference?
Speaker 12: Ronnie Now breaking her silence a week after she left
Speaker 12: bands wheeling from that performance at the Paris Olympics.
Speaker 1: Now, this was a very difficult decision for the board
Speaker 1: to make, and by the board, I mean me at
Speaker 1: three in the morning. It's impossible to know which of
Speaker 1: these people will stand the test of time, even though
Speaker 1: we all know it is probably Luigi. But when it
Speaker 1: comes down to it, the main character of twenty twenty
Speaker 1: four is not the most historically significant. It is the
Speaker 1: person who represents the year, a year on the Internet
Speaker 1: that has been defined by grift, by lies, and by desperation. No,
Speaker 1: I am not talking about the wrestler he's a kid,
Speaker 1: and that would be bullying.
Speaker 2: The winner can only be Hawk to a girl.
Speaker 1: Yes, Indeed, Hailey Welch absolutely speed ran through the main
Speaker 1: character experience in twenty twenty four, and while I will
Speaker 1: wager a guess that her fifteen minutes will continue, going
Speaker 1: from Summer TikTok talking headstar to Cryptogrifter in six months
Speaker 1: or less is truly astounding. But of course the story
Speaker 1: is far more complicated than that. Right, So even though
Speaker 1: Hawk Tua and Haley Welder's story will continue, I have
Speaker 1: a feeling I won't be talking to her anytime soon.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna take a look at her fame and
Speaker 1: what it means about us next week, and that will
Speaker 1: conclude the first and final annual Mini Awards. Let's have
Speaker 1: those kids, Bob Kids play us out just terrible. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening to sixteenth Minute this year. We'll be
Speaker 1: back next week breaking down the Hawk to a Cryptogrift
Speaker 1: with guests Molly White and Ed Zittron, and then we're
Speaker 1: gonna get back into the main characters, Know and Love.
Speaker 1: You can comment on episodes you'd like to hear in
Speaker 1: twenty twenty five on our Reddit board and follow me
Speaker 1: over on Instagram at Jamie christ Superstar, as well as
Speaker 1: on Blue Sky and Twitter. Next year is gonna be
Speaker 1: so much better, guys, Just kidding, See.
Speaker 2: You next week.
Speaker 1: Sixteenth Minute the production of Whole Zone Media and iHeart Rodeops.
Speaker 2: It is written, hosted, and produced by Me, Jamie Lastus.
Speaker 1: Our executive producers are Sophie Lichterman and Robert Evans. The
Speaker 1: amazing Ian Johnson is our supervising producer and our editor.
Speaker 2: Our theme song is by Sad thirteen. Voice acting is
Speaker 2: from Brant Crater and Pet.
Speaker 1: Shout outs to our dog producer Anderson, my Kats Flee
Speaker 1: and Casper and my pet Rockbert, who will outlive us all.
Speaker 2: Bye.