1 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girl's Podcasts, a 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:12,800 Speaker 1: weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the 3 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy Hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:25,600 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, 6 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 1: visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. 7 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: And while I hope you love listening to and learning 8 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 1: from the podcast, it is not meant to be a 9 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, 10 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,599 Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining me for session fifty eight 11 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: of the podcast. I'm excited today to bring you a 12 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,520 Speaker 1: conversation I had with an amazing therapist in North Carolina 13 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: all about creating affirming spaces for sisters who identify as 14 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: g L B t Q. Today I'm joined by Adrian Michelle. 15 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: Adrian is a licensed marriage and family therapist and queer 16 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: person of color therapists specializing and working with youth, adults, families, 17 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: and couples. She received her Marriage and Family Therapy degree 18 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: with the specialization in sex therapy from Thomas Jefferson University. 19 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: After pursuing a passion in sex education, where she found 20 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:32,679 Speaker 1: the community's representation was and continues to be very limited, 21 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 1: thus creating barriers for the community to craft healthy relationships 22 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: that mirror their myriad of experiences. She strives to continuously 23 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: advocate for positive representation in all areas of sexual, racial, 24 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: and gender diversity and inclusion. Adrian and I chatted about 25 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 1: the fears that members of the g LBTQ community may 26 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: have in reaching out for therapy, tips on how to 27 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: find a therapist who is affirming, the work that still 28 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: needs to be done in the Black community to be 29 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: more affirmative, and some common vocabulary we should all know 30 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: to create more affirmative spaces and relationships. If you learn 31 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:19,320 Speaker 1: something new or here's something you want to share during 32 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 1: this episode, please make sure to share it on social 33 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 1: media using the hashtag tb G in session. Here's our conversation. 34 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us today, Adrian, Yeah, 35 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: thank you so much for having me. I would love 36 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,519 Speaker 1: any opportunity to talk about gener and sexuality, but especially 37 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,359 Speaker 1: with your podcast and especially how many people it's reaching 38 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: and definitely reaching a lot of queer films, which is 39 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: what I identify as, so I definitely appreciate the opportunity 40 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: to be here and talk today. Yeah, so Adrian, if 41 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: you could just start, maybe like you already threw out 42 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: some topics that maybe people are confused about, right, And 43 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: that's what I really want this to be, like an 44 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 1: opportunity for people to learn. You know. I think sometimes 45 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: it can feel like really difficult or hard to ask 46 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,080 Speaker 1: questions about what you don't know about. But we do 47 00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:11,000 Speaker 1: want to make sure that we are being inclusive and 48 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: being sensitive to everybody. Right, So can you tell me, like, 49 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:21,360 Speaker 1: what is the difference between sexual orientation and gender presentation? Yeah, definitely. 50 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: So your sexual orientation, UM, I like to say that 51 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: your sexual orientation is who do you go to bed with, 52 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: and your gender identity or presentation is who you go 53 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,839 Speaker 1: to bed ass Right, So your gender identity is who 54 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: you are, who you present yourself to be. Um. Your 55 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: presentation can include things like how you dress, um, how 56 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: you wear your makeup, how you wear your hair. Um, 57 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: obviously I feel like anybody could wear makeup and things 58 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: like happen in our society. It's definitely seen as a 59 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 1: feminine characteristic. And so talking through what gender identity means, 60 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: gender presentation means, and then talking through sexual orientation. It's 61 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: all very very different things, and so we do get 62 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: into a lot of conversations with individuals or parents about 63 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: how seeing it separately can be really really helpful, got it, 64 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: And so you know, one of the important things. And 65 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: of course this entire platform is all about like helping 66 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: black women to really be okay with therapy, and so 67 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: taking that first step to find a therapist or to 68 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: call a therapist can often be a very difficult one. 69 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,039 Speaker 1: And of course if you are a member of the 70 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:33,039 Speaker 1: g l B t q I A community, then it 71 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 1: may be even more difficult to find somebody who you 72 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 1: feel like it's going to be a good fit. Um. So, 73 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:42,160 Speaker 1: do you have um any tips for someone who may 74 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: be contemplating therapy but are afraid of like what the 75 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:49,160 Speaker 1: process might look like? Yes, because, um, you know, I 76 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: feel like therapy has this connotation that is so scary, 77 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 1: right and especially with our one of our community. UM 78 00:04:56,839 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: very much is like just pray about it and let 79 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: it go, you know. And it's so helpful to be 80 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,080 Speaker 1: able to talk with somebody who doesn't have an investment 81 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: in your life, doesn't have any bias about the decisions 82 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 1: that you're making, but could really, you know, make a 83 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: decision or help you make a decision based on the 84 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: goals that you suffer yourself and the things that you 85 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,240 Speaker 1: want for your life. And so when looking for a therapist, 86 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 1: but especially in the LGBTQ community, you want to look 87 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: for somebody who's not only affirming, but has done some 88 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 1: work in the community. UM. I find that I connect 89 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 1: more with therapists who work with this population or just 90 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: lgbt Q HI a therapist in general, and especially people 91 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: of color, from events, from activism events, from going to 92 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,919 Speaker 1: your local lgbt Q center, UM, and things like that. 93 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 1: And so if you want a therapist that's really affirming 94 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 1: and understanding of the community, UM, you want to really 95 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,359 Speaker 1: go through those avenues of talking to people, talking to 96 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: people at a center, even talking with your lgbt Q 97 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: friends about who they might be seeing. I find a 98 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:00,359 Speaker 1: lot of times that people are really quiet about being 99 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: in therapy. And UM, I know we're all watching shows 100 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: like Insecure now, and you know there's a scene in 101 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 1: there where she's talking about where her friends that's in 102 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: therapy and how helpful and beneficial it is, and just 103 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,679 Speaker 1: talking to your friends simply if you are in therapy, 104 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: or talking about it or even thinking about it. That 105 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 1: is the perfect way to start UM. And then looking 106 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,839 Speaker 1: for a therapist. You could go on a website very simply, 107 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: but just checking in those boxes to make sure, hey, 108 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 1: does this person you know? Is this person affirming? Because 109 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 1: a big fear people have within the community is gosh, 110 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: I don't want to go to a therapist and they 111 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: don't know how you know my sexuality or they don't 112 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: agree with it, right, And so I even find myself 113 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,720 Speaker 1: as things as simple is going to the kind of colleges, right, 114 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: my kind of conscious constantly asked me, Hey, do you 115 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 1: want birth control? Hey? Are you on birth control? Do 116 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: you want birth control? All these questions without asking you know, hey, 117 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: what's your gender identity? Hey what's your partner's gender identity? 118 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,839 Speaker 1: Do you need birth control? And so just asking those questions, 119 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 1: you know, can be really helpful, but specifically finding somebody 120 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: who wants to ask those questions, and so those fifteen 121 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 1: constants for fifteen minute consultations that sometimes people will offer. 122 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: Take that opportunity to ask the questions that you need 123 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: to feel comfortable in this space. Have you worked with 124 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: LGBTQ people before UM? Are you understanding of trans identities. 125 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,480 Speaker 1: Are you understanding of some of the terms that I 126 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: might use within my community, what are your thoughts about it? 127 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: And so making sure that your therapist has that information. 128 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: But also if your therapist doesn't, it gives them the 129 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,920 Speaker 1: opportunity to say, hey, you know what, I haven't worked 130 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 1: with the community before, I would love to, or haven't 131 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: worked with the community before, and I'm not sure if 132 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: i'd be a good fit for you, because again, sometimes 133 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: that's an option, and you don't want to be with 134 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: someone who isn't gonna be the best of help for you. 135 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: Such a good idea, Adrian, And you mentioned something UM 136 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 1: that I think sometimes is debated, like when we're in 137 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,320 Speaker 1: our graduate program to become therapists, like this whole idea 138 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: of like being a part of the community that you're 139 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: wanting to serve UM. So you mentioned like finding people 140 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: who have done like maybe activists work in this space. 141 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 1: And so I find that sometimes when you are working 142 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 1: with more marginalized groups in therapy, it is important to 143 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: be showing up in places outside of the therapy office 144 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: so that people do get a feel for you and 145 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 1: so that people know who you are. UM. I find 146 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: that just working within the community. And I'm originally from 147 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,199 Speaker 1: New Jersey and Philadelphia and so now living in North Carolina, 148 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: it's the South, which is completely different from me. And 149 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,719 Speaker 1: rebuilding that community is something that I really still have 150 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 1: to do of going out and showing my face because 151 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 1: as not just a queer therapist, but as a black therapist, 152 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 1: there aren't very many and so making sure that not 153 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: only are you being seen, but you're leaving some room 154 00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 1: in your caseload for the community that you really want 155 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: to serve. And I find that that is really really important. 156 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,959 Speaker 1: And so Andrean, what are some of the concerns facing 157 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: the g l B t q I community that might 158 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 1: make them turn to therapy or that they might find 159 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: therapy helpful for? I mean, I think we often hear like, 160 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: the only reason you might be coming into therapy is 161 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 1: because you need to come out or something like that, 162 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: which is the cour It's not the truth. So what 163 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 1: are what are some of the other issues that may 164 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,320 Speaker 1: come up for people in this community that that therapy 165 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: could be really helpful for. Yes, oh my god, I 166 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: get that so much because people are like, oh, you know, 167 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: if the gay person or a lesbian or transperson is 168 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: coming to therapy, they've got to be talking about that, 169 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 1: and most often they're actually not. You know, we're working 170 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:41,760 Speaker 1: on anxiety depression, and if it's around their identity, it's 171 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,040 Speaker 1: mostly around family work, right. And so what I do 172 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 1: is a lot of family attached the UM family attachment therapy, 173 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 1: which helps bring a family back together through psycho education, 174 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: which is helping them understand. Right. If I have a 175 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 1: young African American transwoman in my offic this and I'm 176 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 1: working with them to help not only them understand and 177 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 1: accept themselves, but to feel comfortable in themselves, I have 178 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 1: to also look at working with their family as well, right, 179 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 1: and helping them understand UM. Something I say really really 180 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: often UM. And my mom is such an amazing advocate 181 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 1: UM and a supporter of the community. But when she 182 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: was in high school, the truly in skirts were down 183 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: to her ankles. And so when I think about that, 184 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 1: I know that she really didn't get any type of 185 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 1: sex education, let a learn gender education. And that's what 186 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: I tell the youth and the young adults that I 187 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: work with all the time is be patient with your 188 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,720 Speaker 1: parents too, because they haven't gotten this information. And so 189 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 1: sometimes it is just a smack in the face for them, 190 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: and they are not understanding, not wanting to be unsupportive, 191 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,800 Speaker 1: but just not being understanding. And so there's a lot 192 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: of family work that goes into it. Something else I 193 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: talk a lot about is when you're working with this community, 194 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 1: you have to think about the seas that they're in. Right. 195 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 1: I worked in Philadelphia, where the streets are rainbow and 196 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: there's a gayborhood, and it's very welcoming in some areas, 197 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: right in other areas, you think about how affirming the 198 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: spaces are. Are there lgbt Q centers in this space? 199 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: Are there places for people to seek help or to 200 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,800 Speaker 1: be around people who look like you, love like you, 201 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: and act like you, And that's really important for a community. 202 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,839 Speaker 1: But the first space that usually pops up, if it's 203 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: not a center, it's a gay bar, right, And so 204 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: thinking about substance abuse and how that is really inbredded 205 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 1: in the community, because before there's an lgbt Q center, 206 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 1: there's definitely a bar to hang out with, and so 207 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 1: you're developing these habits of oh, these are the small 208 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: spaces I can be within my community. But it's also 209 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: centered around alcohol or substance abuse and things that may 210 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,600 Speaker 1: not be helpful, and so you're learning these habits that, oh, 211 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: I'm using this to cope. Being around my community feels good. 212 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: Alcohol also feels good, and we do a lot of 213 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: substance abuse work. Um and the rates are really high 214 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 1: within the community, But there's also got to be an 215 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: understanding of it. Right. It's like it didn't just pop 216 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 1: out of nowhere. It's because we're not invested in the 217 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:15,600 Speaker 1: community in certain ways. UM and I find that something 218 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,120 Speaker 1: else that uh, people might be coming in with our 219 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 1: couples therapy. Right. I work a lot with couples because 220 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,319 Speaker 1: I am a marriage and family therapist, and for couples 221 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,840 Speaker 1: who are identifying as queer and trans and non binary, 222 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 1: there is really not a blueprint for our relationships and 223 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 1: so really understanding the basics of your expectations of your partner, 224 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,959 Speaker 1: your sexual expectations of your partner. UM. I find that 225 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: that is a huge part of the conversation as well, 226 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 1: and that's what a lot of people are coming to 227 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:52,120 Speaker 1: therapy for communication with their family and communication with their partner, 228 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: understanding their relationship. Um And since the only model that's 229 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 1: really out there is this heteronormative way of thinking and 230 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,680 Speaker 1: way of being in a relationship is breaking through those roles, right, 231 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:05,959 Speaker 1: And so I find a lot of people who still 232 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 1: identify within our community using these heteronormative ways of thinking 233 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,200 Speaker 1: and their relationship. And so if it's everything from generals 234 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 1: from picking up the check to uh, you know, who's 235 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: taking the trash out and who's cooking the food and 236 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: things like that, there's more of a conversation to be had. 237 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,400 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that a masculine person or a feminine 238 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: person needs to do that. And a lot of the 239 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 1: times those are not the identities. And so where do 240 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 1: we talk or where do we start the conversation about 241 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 1: what your relationship looks like? And so that's with friends, 242 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 1: that's with family, um And one other thing I do 243 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:43,559 Speaker 1: want to mention is that sometimes the family won't be 244 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,320 Speaker 1: in therapy, they won't be supportive, and they don't want 245 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:50,320 Speaker 1: to talk through some of these issues. But my clients 246 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,439 Speaker 1: still have to have that understanding and to get through 247 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,719 Speaker 1: the pain and the hurt and the attachment injuries that 248 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,720 Speaker 1: have occurred. And so something we use a lot is 249 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,600 Speaker 1: that empty chair method, right where you kind of write 250 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 1: a letter or you talk through something as if that 251 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 1: person is there who has had such a huge impact 252 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: in your life. And so family therapy or systemic therapy 253 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: without the system UM is something that I find really 254 00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: helpful with the community. So, I know that was a mouthful, 255 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 1: but there's so many things that might be different that 256 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: that person is coming to therapy for. Yeah, but also 257 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 1: a lot of similarities, right, Like a lot of things 258 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 1: that you know, other people who are not a part 259 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,239 Speaker 1: of the community are coming to therapy for. Also, yeah, yeah, definitely, 260 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: And so it's like therapists don't have to be scared. 261 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: It's mostly the same thing, but it might be you know, 262 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: some different terms in there, but everybody's coming to therapy 263 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 1: for issues with family or partners or friends or understanding themselves, 264 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 1: and it's really, you know, it's kind of the same work. 265 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,560 Speaker 1: And so my part of my job is making sure 266 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: therapists really realized that as well. Yeah, so I'm glad 267 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 1: you mentioned the whole issue with family, because I definitely 268 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: have seen that come up a lot, like in conversations 269 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: and the Thrived Tribe and just you know, in the 270 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 1: responses I get to UM like some of the episodes 271 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 1: and people are sending me questions. It does feel like 272 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: that there are a lot of questions around families not 273 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 1: accepting people, or you know, like just a lot of 274 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,240 Speaker 1: tension in the family because they don't want to allow 275 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 1: this person to be who they are. UM. So you've 276 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 1: already kind of talked about like maybe using the empty 277 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 1: chairs technique in therapy, But do you have other ideas 278 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 1: or strategies you could offer people who are struggling in 279 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 1: some ways with their family. Yeah, definitely, and so UM, 280 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 1: something we have in our community is called chosen family, right, 281 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,800 Speaker 1: And I know as African Americans, we're so used to 282 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 1: having our play cousins and whomever around us, but specifically 283 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: in our community, we have you know, your game mom 284 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,000 Speaker 1: or your gay dad or something like that, where you 285 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 1: can build your own community and always encourage people who 286 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: are in this space with their family not being supportive, 287 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: because I think that UM, from a very young age, 288 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 1: a lot of people have realized that they're family is 289 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: not going to be their main support system and it's 290 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 1: not going to be as emotionally supportive as they want. 291 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 1: And so you can spend a huge amount of your 292 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 1: time worrying and stressing and being really upset with them, 293 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 1: or you can fill your life with people who make 294 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 1: it worthwhile. And so although you can never replace your 295 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: birth mother, or you can never replace someone who holds 296 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: such a significant place in your life, you can't surround 297 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: yourself with friends and people who love you and support 298 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 1: you and even using that time to bring them into 299 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: therapy to help you understand yourself. UM. Something I do 300 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: I as UM for people within the community is as 301 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: your therapist. If you can bring your best friend and 302 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,920 Speaker 1: or your gay mom and or something like that to 303 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: talk through some of the issues that you have, because 304 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: family therapy doesn't always have to be with those that 305 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: are biologically given to you, because sometimes at the end 306 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: of the day, you may not have a relationship with 307 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 1: them and you may not want a relationship with them, 308 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: and so really come into peace with that and understanding 309 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,359 Speaker 1: that we can do as much family work as we want. 310 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: But if this person is going to be like this 311 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,120 Speaker 1: and be a disruption in your life, then let's look 312 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,680 Speaker 1: at some other options, because you don't have to have 313 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 1: negativity in your life. And someone who isn't affirming and 314 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,159 Speaker 1: won't else they won't understand. I won't say uh, doesn't 315 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 1: make an effort, but someone who is just willfully not 316 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 1: open to understanding you and that's just the unhealthy person 317 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 1: in your life. And so I'm treating family that same way, 318 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,720 Speaker 1: and so building that chosen family is something that is truly, 319 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:38,919 Speaker 1: truly important. So something else that you mentioned, Adrian was, 320 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,160 Speaker 1: you know a lot of the work that you do 321 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: is related to working with therapists to kind of make 322 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,360 Speaker 1: sure that they get it. And I think that there 323 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,119 Speaker 1: is still a great deal of work for us to 324 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 1: do as black therapists UM in terms of really checking 325 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,679 Speaker 1: ourselves to make sure that we are not perpetrating some 326 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:58,200 Speaker 1: of these same microaggressions UM in an effort to help 327 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 1: you know, the queer and people, the queer and trans 328 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 1: people of color who may be coming to us for 329 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 1: a therapy. So do you have any ideas about like 330 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: how we can like internally check ourselves or be you know, 331 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,199 Speaker 1: making sure that we're checking our colleagues to push, you know, 332 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 1: to make sure that we're doing the correct thing and 333 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 1: being very sensitive in these spaces. Yes, definitely. So the 334 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: first thing I will always suggest is doing training open 335 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,280 Speaker 1: in your mind to help yourself really understand the community 336 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,920 Speaker 1: and what I say when I leave my trainings UM 337 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 1: a lot of times and I've worked with Duke University, 338 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,400 Speaker 1: I've worked with Jefferson University. I've worked with so many 339 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:38,359 Speaker 1: organizations and their counseling departments UM and talking with them 340 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: about how important training is and to understand. And I'm 341 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,439 Speaker 1: not asking you to change your views. I'm just asking 342 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,280 Speaker 1: you to respect the community and understand them in ways 343 00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 1: that will help them. I mean, we've all taken this 344 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 1: oath as healthcare professionals, and so you wanted you no 345 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: harm and to make sure that you're doing that. And 346 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: so the first thing would be trainings. Another thing UM 347 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 1: that is really important is like a personal bias UM 348 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,000 Speaker 1: kind of training and activity and I also offer that 349 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 1: in my five part series as well. And it is 350 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:12,920 Speaker 1: really about looking at your life and how you would 351 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: respond if your gender was questioned, if your identity was questioned, 352 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 1: or even if your identity was taken from you. And 353 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 1: so it's about having that real life experience of oh, 354 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,200 Speaker 1: my gosh, you know, I don't know what would happen 355 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: without let's say my mom, right, but in the community, 356 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,600 Speaker 1: somebody might have to move forward without their mom, and 357 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,680 Speaker 1: getting them to think, wow, you know, if my mom 358 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 1: didn't support me, how would my life look different? Depression 359 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,120 Speaker 1: would look different, anxiety would look different, so many things 360 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,399 Speaker 1: would be heightened. And so this community is also really 361 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 1: plagued with a lot of high diagnoses, you know, like UM, 362 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: bipolar disorder or even borderline personality disorder for being angry 363 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 1: or having these outbursts without really taking an intersectional perspective 364 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: of their entire life. You know, someone who's angry, what's 365 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,640 Speaker 1: going on in their life? Oh, their mom isn't supportive, 366 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,200 Speaker 1: they don't have financial support. You know, their living situation 367 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 1: is out of black. Well, of course that person is 368 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 1: going to go through a higher level of depression UM. 369 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: And so something for providers is to UM, I have 370 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: this worksheet and I like to call it nosy or 371 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 1: necessary right to help you figure out what is making you, 372 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 1: what's really driving these questions. And some things I would 373 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,400 Speaker 1: say is when discussing identities, be mindful of the systems 374 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,159 Speaker 1: of oppression that may affect your client. Right. And so 375 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 1: something as simple as going out with friends, which bathroom 376 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 1: they're using, UM, how they are presenting that day, will 377 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,480 Speaker 1: it be UM? Will it be okay? You know? Will 378 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 1: violence occur in this moment? And so really recognize the 379 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:52,119 Speaker 1: systems of oppression that your client might be going through UM. 380 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 1: If you have a client who comes into your office 381 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 1: and it's talking about their identity and really questioning it 382 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,720 Speaker 1: UM or identifying as trams, and don't just bring up 383 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,160 Speaker 1: all the things that you feel it would be helpful 384 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 1: for your client. I have some therapists that are like, oh, yeah, 385 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: if my client is trans I have a full list 386 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,679 Speaker 1: to give them surgeries and all of this stuff. And 387 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: being mindful that every person who identifies a certain way 388 00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: is going to transition or move through their journey differently. 389 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,119 Speaker 1: And just because you identify as lesbians doesn't mean you 390 00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,760 Speaker 1: need to go out and get a female identified partner 391 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 1: right now. Just because you identifies trance doesn't mean you 392 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:32,000 Speaker 1: need to lay down how you're going to transition. And 393 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: being mindful of that UM. When talking about family, I 394 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:39,560 Speaker 1: really tell therapists to expire your view of family. And 395 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 1: that's what I was talking about earlier. You know, what 396 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 1: if what if it's not about their parents or their siblings, 397 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: What if their conflict or their attachment injuries are wrapped 398 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,400 Speaker 1: in friendships? Right and being open to see how family 399 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,600 Speaker 1: and friends are really causing a lot of that UM. 400 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: Something else again when talking about sexual orientation. You want 401 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:03,639 Speaker 1: to forego a heteronormative thinking, right, and so UM. I 402 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,719 Speaker 1: remember going to a therapist very very early on my 403 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,120 Speaker 1: partner and I and the therapist said, oh, so you're 404 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,679 Speaker 1: more of the man, and that was like, ah, you know, 405 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: I'm just so angry because I was just like, why 406 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 1: why keep um perpetuating these views of this heteronormative relationship 407 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: as two women are sitting in front of you, and 408 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 1: so really being mindful of not mentioning or not moving 409 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 1: towards that heteronormative thinking. UM. Something that is really helpful 410 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,159 Speaker 1: too is talking about pronouns. And I think that in 411 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: the community, you know, we don't talk enough about what 412 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 1: that means when you hear a sheet or a heat 413 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 1: or a they. And so I find that even if 414 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 1: you know, if you want to do something really really interesting, 415 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,440 Speaker 1: go home to whomever your partner is, right and tell 416 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:58,640 Speaker 1: them a story about someone who's female identified, and then 417 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: tell them a story about somebody's whose male identified. And 418 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 1: it could be the same exact story. You get totally 419 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 1: different connotations from it. And so you want to ask 420 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 1: about pronouns. You want to ask how people UM want 421 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,720 Speaker 1: to be you know, respected, in the space. And so 422 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 1: something I do when I introduced myself to people within 423 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 1: the community or clients is I say, Hi, my name 424 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: is Adrian Michelle. I use she and her pronouns right, 425 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 1: And so that doesn't put my client on the spot 426 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 1: to share their pronouns. If they want to, they can 427 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: and that would be great, UM. But it opens up 428 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 1: this space for them to know that they can share 429 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: their pronouns and to open up a conversation about gender 430 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 1: that they may not have been expecting. Something also I 431 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 1: want to add to that list is I've been talking 432 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,159 Speaker 1: about relationships. So when you're talking about somebody's parents, you know, 433 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 1: just a parent, you know, saying mom or dad, um. 434 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,119 Speaker 1: I find it's really triggering for some people, even not 435 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 1: people in the LGBTQ community. If you know one of 436 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:01,119 Speaker 1: your parents have passed away or one of your parents 437 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,960 Speaker 1: wasn't in your life, it becomes a harder conversation. And 438 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: so just asking about someone's parents or their siblings kind 439 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,639 Speaker 1: of opens the door for them to share more about 440 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: them than you're asking UM. And also when talking about 441 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 1: gender expression, discussed with them how they see themselves UM, 442 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:23,680 Speaker 1: and been discussing things like hormones or something about body image. 443 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: Be mindful about why you're asking those questions. I always 444 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,520 Speaker 1: say this the therapist. You know, are you asking because 445 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,200 Speaker 1: you feel like it's really gonna help the client or 446 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: are you asking because you feel like you want to 447 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: know like it's going to create a fuller story for you. 448 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: And so just being mindful and being able to check yourself. 449 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,360 Speaker 1: But again, trainings. But those things that I list there 450 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: are something that I find really really helpful. So are 451 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:53,439 Speaker 1: you being nosy or is it necessary information there? That 452 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,120 Speaker 1: sounds like an amazing work sheet, Adrian, Maybe we can 453 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 1: add that or add a link to that in the 454 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,639 Speaker 1: show notes if you're wanting to share that, because it 455 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 1: does sound like that is a very good conversation for 456 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,520 Speaker 1: people to have and to be able to check in 457 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,720 Speaker 1: with themselves. Yeah, definitely, I will definitely go ahead and 458 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 1: send that to you. Yeah, So something else that you mentioned, 459 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,880 Speaker 1: and it sounds like there are a lot of very 460 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: small things that we can do that actually make a 461 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 1: very big impact for our clients, like opening the door 462 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 1: to talk about what your pronouns are and just letting 463 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 1: them know that that kind of conversation is okay to 464 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 1: have in this space. So I do know that you 465 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,880 Speaker 1: know the terminology and like making sure that we are 466 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 1: like using correct phrases and things. It's really important. Again, 467 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,880 Speaker 1: very small touches that I think can make a very 468 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 1: big difference. So can you give us a little like 469 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:43,159 Speaker 1: crash course in like what kinds of terminology is appropriate 470 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 1: to use and maybe some things that are not appropriate 471 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: to use? Yes, definitely. UM. So I also will send 472 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,000 Speaker 1: you something I have which is called the trans umbrella, 473 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 1: and it has all different kinds of um just length 474 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 1: of that the community uses in terms that can be 475 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:03,160 Speaker 1: really helpful. But there are really five terms that will 476 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:07,480 Speaker 1: really be beneficial in your practice if you learn them 477 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,120 Speaker 1: and have a great understanding of them. And those are 478 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 1: sis gender, transgender, gender, nonconforming, sis, sexism, and transphobia. Right, 479 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,719 Speaker 1: and so since gender is when you are um, what 480 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 1: I'll say is when you're born. People say biological sex 481 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,600 Speaker 1: all the time. And biological sex is actually another one 482 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,680 Speaker 1: of the terms that are really helpful, right, because biological 483 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:35,639 Speaker 1: sex makes it seem like the doctor has done some 484 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,719 Speaker 1: type of biological tests to make sure of your gender. 485 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: When an actuality, we know that that doesn't happen. So 486 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 1: something that we like to say, is a signed male 487 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: at birth or as signed female at birth. So that 488 00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:49,080 Speaker 1: would be a map or a fab that your clients 489 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: are saying, a map or a fab, that's what they're 490 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 1: talking about as signed female or as signed male at birth. 491 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,400 Speaker 1: And that just tells you what society has labeled your 492 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,600 Speaker 1: biological gender. Something else cis gender, that would mean that 493 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: you still identify with what you were assigned at birth. 494 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,200 Speaker 1: So for example, I was assigned female at birth. I 495 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,639 Speaker 1: identify as female now, so I would be cis gender 496 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 1: someone who's transgender. And again that's an umbrella term, but 497 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:20,919 Speaker 1: that basically means somebody who does not identify as the 498 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,640 Speaker 1: gender that they were given at birth. So if I 499 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,960 Speaker 1: was assigned female at birth and I grow up to 500 00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,640 Speaker 1: learn that I don't identify with that, I don't see 501 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,639 Speaker 1: myself as female feminine at all, and identify more with 502 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:37,200 Speaker 1: male pronouns or identify as not binary, then that would 503 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:42,919 Speaker 1: be transgender gender nonconforming. That means that you're not conforming 504 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: to the gender norms. Right, and so as we see 505 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,640 Speaker 1: a female is supposed to be dressed a certain way, 506 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,359 Speaker 1: act a certain way, look a certain way in society. 507 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 1: That means that this person is not going to conform 508 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:58,560 Speaker 1: towards what is acceptable for female or what is acceptable 509 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 1: as male. And that bring me to talking about binary, right, 510 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,440 Speaker 1: and so the binary is this idea that there are 511 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:08,919 Speaker 1: only male and female, when in actuality we believe in 512 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 1: more of a spectrum and so um. Something also that's 513 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,960 Speaker 1: really helpful when talking about that is the gender unicorn 514 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,360 Speaker 1: because it really separates things in terms of your gender identity, 515 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:22,159 Speaker 1: your presentation, your romantic attraction and all of that. And 516 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,879 Speaker 1: so it's very all encompassing, but gender not conforming again, 517 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 1: meaning you're not conforming to either gender. CIS sexism is 518 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:35,200 Speaker 1: really important because of transphobia, right, and of gender phobia. 519 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: The thing is, sis sexism does exist, right. I do 520 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 1: have a privilege as being a CIS gender person, and 521 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,960 Speaker 1: so I'm very mindful too in those spaces that I 522 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 1: talked through because I'm a CIS gender person and I 523 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 1: don't want to take up too much space. But I 524 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 1: do this work constantly for the community and working for 525 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 1: about ten years, and so talking about sis sexism is 526 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: really important because we do have certain privileges that's the 527 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: one who is transgender does not have, and so that 528 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:09,080 Speaker 1: access to jobs, that access to healthcare, UM, finding a therapist, 529 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: being understood, even young kids going to school and realizing 530 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: this to sexism there um, and so that's really important. 531 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: And again transphobia. UM, people are not understanding of transpeople. 532 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,600 Speaker 1: And I've learned that being in the South. It's a 533 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: completely different conversation. And so some people are not open 534 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:33,560 Speaker 1: to understanding hiring, standing next to, or walking through life 535 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: with people who identify differently than them, and so realizing 536 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,680 Speaker 1: and respecting your client when they're sharing with you this 537 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:45,000 Speaker 1: oppressive identity. Similarly as you would listen to someone talking 538 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,200 Speaker 1: about their race and so just being clear about that. 539 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,640 Speaker 1: Another one that I would say that's important to understand 540 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,400 Speaker 1: is the term queer. And so as a black person, 541 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 1: as an African American person, I have a very sticky 542 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 1: relation ship with that word. Being from Jersey and New York, 543 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: we really didn't use that word and cleer was seen, um, 544 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 1: just as more of a derogatory term. But I find 545 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,280 Speaker 1: that in the South and even more often now, the 546 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 1: term queer is used really positively and it can describe 547 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 1: your sexual orientation, it can describe your gender identity in 548 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 1: terms of saying I'm gender queer, very similar to gender 549 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 1: not conforming or gender non binary, right, and so those, uh, 550 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 1: those you want to be mindful of. So if your 551 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,080 Speaker 1: client comes in you don't want to say, hey, you 552 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 1: identify it as queer, maybe just ask the terms that 553 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 1: they use. And so another term within the community that 554 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 1: people use will be cut POC and so that is 555 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: q T p o C and that's queer trans people 556 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,040 Speaker 1: of color, right, and so some of your clients might 557 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,920 Speaker 1: use that term or even just use que pop to 558 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,760 Speaker 1: describe themselves. And those are really really important, just small 559 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,640 Speaker 1: terms to use, and of course there are so many, 560 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 1: but just for the sake of time, I'll go through 561 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,400 Speaker 1: that those terms and then um, one more term that 562 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 1: is really really important to learn as intersex. And that 563 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,560 Speaker 1: is a term for people who have a combination of chromosomes, 564 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 1: going ads, hormones, um, just inter internal sex organs and 565 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 1: generitals that may differ from what you're expecting. And so 566 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 1: people say intersex all the time. And of course we 567 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 1: know the derogatory term for that used to be hermaphrodite. 568 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 1: But in reality, there are more intersex people in this 569 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 1: world than there are redheads. And so really thinking through, wow, 570 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 1: what does that mean? That means that we have had 571 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,320 Speaker 1: a lot of people who have been born intersex, but 572 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 1: we are still using this binary and being mindful that 573 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 1: we might have to change our way of thinking as 574 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 1: we learn more of the truth of what's um, what's 575 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 1: going on in terms of a gender spectrum. But it's 576 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 1: definitely all about understanding. And if you find that your 577 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,760 Speaker 1: therapist or as a thing because you don't understand something, 578 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,480 Speaker 1: just ask your client, because they're more than happy to, 579 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,720 Speaker 1: you know, help explain it. The worst thing you could 580 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,560 Speaker 1: do is have someone talking to you about these terms 581 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 1: or about their identity and you not have a clue 582 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,080 Speaker 1: about what they're talking about, and UM for them also 583 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 1: to have to um have to wonder if you if 584 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 1: you understand, and so taking that one down approach is 585 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,400 Speaker 1: really helpful as well. Yeah, that definitely would be a 586 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,320 Speaker 1: situation where it would be necessary as opposed to know 587 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:33,200 Speaker 1: to ask a question. Yeah, I mean, and I do 588 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:35,600 Speaker 1: think you know, you mentioned the importance of training, and 589 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:37,920 Speaker 1: I just want to underscore that because I do think, 590 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:42,200 Speaker 1: you know, we are always learning more UM and it 591 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 1: really is important to kind of make sure that we're 592 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 1: kind of getting the latest information so that we are 593 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,640 Speaker 1: able to kind of assist as many clients as possible. Yeah, 594 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 1: and I find that, you know, trainings are hard to 595 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 1: come by, even UM I used to work in Philadelphia 596 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,320 Speaker 1: and so the trainers were pretty much mandatory for a 597 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:02,040 Speaker 1: lot of nonprofit organised stations UM and even moving down 598 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 1: to North Carolina, UM I started working for this program 599 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:09,400 Speaker 1: and developing something that was really geared towards education, but 600 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,320 Speaker 1: not just in a health care field, but in a 601 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,960 Speaker 1: corporate field as well, because what you have is a 602 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 1: lot of people identifying differently in the workplace and then 603 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 1: not being respected, and we know there aren't a lot 604 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 1: of laws that are really helpful with that UM. And 605 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,480 Speaker 1: so I just want to say that the books that 606 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,280 Speaker 1: I find helpful if you can't find training that is 607 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:31,840 Speaker 1: close by or affordable, because again, it can be expensive 608 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 1: because it's not mandatory training and it's not something that's 609 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,720 Speaker 1: typically offered UM in a graduate program. But a book 610 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,959 Speaker 1: that I always use is trans Bodies, Trans Cells, and 611 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 1: it's a resource for the transgender community. But it has 612 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:51,480 Speaker 1: a lot of information about mental health resources, about body resources, 613 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:55,440 Speaker 1: about depression, about anxiety, about dysphoria as well, and so 614 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 1: being sure that you know you have something like that 615 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,680 Speaker 1: on hand. And for parents there are of books like 616 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 1: the Transgender Team or Raising the Transgender Child, or for 617 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:08,239 Speaker 1: people who are just understanding their gender, we have the 618 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 1: Gender Quest Workbook, and so that's a workbook for like 619 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:15,279 Speaker 1: smaller children. But always keep reading and training and understanding 620 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 1: and reaching out for supervision, which is also something that 621 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,799 Speaker 1: we offer. So um, a lot of like hands on 622 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,359 Speaker 1: deck here to help make sure we're not doing any 623 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,600 Speaker 1: harm to the community as well. Yeah, that's how You've 624 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,440 Speaker 1: offered some books that it sounds like maybe helpful for therapists, 625 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,880 Speaker 1: But do you have books for non therapists that you 626 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 1: really enjoyed that you think would be a good resource. Yeah, definitely. UM. 627 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:40,800 Speaker 1: So there is a book that's really interesting, UM called 628 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 1: Girls Sex one on one and as though it sounds 629 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,799 Speaker 1: really really binary, I find that it is a very 630 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:51,160 Speaker 1: neutral way to talk about sex, to talk about bodies, 631 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 1: to talk about yourself, um in terms of um sexuality. 632 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,880 Speaker 1: Another book that I find helpful, and this is a 633 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,960 Speaker 1: two part book actually for partners who might be identifying 634 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 1: as trans, and one is called Hung in the Middle UM, 635 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,359 Speaker 1: and the other one is called My husband looks Better 636 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:13,560 Speaker 1: in Women's Clothing or in lingerie, and I find that 637 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,480 Speaker 1: helpful for couples. Again, trans Body trand Selves is really 638 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,960 Speaker 1: good for individuals, but can also be really good for 639 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,919 Speaker 1: for therapists. So for clients trans Bodies trans Selves as well, 640 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 1: it's a really good book to help them understand themselves. 641 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:32,520 Speaker 1: And another plug I would say is YouTube. A lot 642 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:36,360 Speaker 1: of people aren't writing that much information about the community 643 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,479 Speaker 1: and about the intersection of black people and these queer 644 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:44,359 Speaker 1: identities or trans identities, and so going on YouTube and 645 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:48,279 Speaker 1: researching and really looking at people like take Milan and 646 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 1: his wife Kim Could could Trent I believe her name is, 647 00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:56,040 Speaker 1: and looking at YouTube and looking at people really live 648 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,160 Speaker 1: in their lives in this way can help you have 649 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 1: a better understanding of health. And so I utilize you 650 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,560 Speaker 1: do as much as possible as well. And even these books, 651 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: I may make copies for my clients for pages that 652 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,920 Speaker 1: I feel is helpful for them. But definitely trans Bodies 653 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:15,839 Speaker 1: Train Cells for everybody, Okay, I definitely will include all 654 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 1: of those in the show notes. So is there any 655 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,280 Speaker 1: news that you'd like to share, Adrian, any upcoming events 656 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:24,520 Speaker 1: are and your trainings that you have, Yeah, definitely on 657 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:29,400 Speaker 1: our website um GS diversity dot com. You can see 658 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:32,520 Speaker 1: the list of our trainings and opportunities for me to 659 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,799 Speaker 1: come out and speak with your organization and just to 660 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:40,000 Speaker 1: talk through UM some of the the barriers to healthcare 661 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,600 Speaker 1: and and things like that. So the training dates this 662 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 1: year would be we have one in May, one in September, 663 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,400 Speaker 1: and one in November, and then again we go out 664 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,279 Speaker 1: and UM if you request to train and we will 665 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,920 Speaker 1: come out and do that. UM. I also have a 666 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,880 Speaker 1: website and that's Adrian Michelle Therapy dot com and my 667 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:02,000 Speaker 1: Instagram is saying Adrian hell Therapy UM and you can 668 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,320 Speaker 1: find a lot of information there in terms of upcoming training, 669 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,840 Speaker 1: by upcoming speaking opportunities UM, and if you would like 670 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,319 Speaker 1: for me to come out and speak to your organization 671 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 1: about gender and sexuality. I definitely love doing that and 672 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:18,319 Speaker 1: still half of my time with speaking. Actually it's been 673 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,000 Speaker 1: really good, very cool. And I will include links to 674 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 1: all of your information because I'm sure some people will 675 00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:26,200 Speaker 1: want to get in touch with you, UM to ask 676 00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,880 Speaker 1: more questions or to schedule you for a training. Yeah, 677 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,919 Speaker 1: that would be great. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Well, 678 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,120 Speaker 1: thank you for spending some time with us today. Adrian, 679 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:36,839 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Yes, of course, thank you for 680 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,880 Speaker 1: having me. I know I can talk about this first 681 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 1: so long and there's so many terms and everything, but 682 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,839 Speaker 1: I just hope that the audience really leaves with more 683 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,799 Speaker 1: questions than they had coming and listening to this and 684 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,800 Speaker 1: continue to reach out and have a better understanding of 685 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,400 Speaker 1: the community. So thank you so much for having me 686 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,160 Speaker 1: and giving me the platform to talk about this topic. 687 00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:01,080 Speaker 1: You're welcome. I'm very grateful that Adrian was able to 688 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,399 Speaker 1: share her expertise with us today. To check out all 689 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,319 Speaker 1: the amazing resources she shared, visit the show notes at 690 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:12,760 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash session, and please 691 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,160 Speaker 1: be sure to share your thoughts about the episode with 692 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:19,040 Speaker 1: us on social media. You can use the hashtag TBG 693 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,759 Speaker 1: in session, and you can also tag our accounts. You 694 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,000 Speaker 1: can find us on Twitter at Therapy for the Number 695 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 1: four b Girls, and you can find us on Instagram 696 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 1: and Facebook at Therapy for Black Girls. If you're looking 697 00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,439 Speaker 1: for a therapist in your area, be sure to visit 698 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:40,240 Speaker 1: the therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com 699 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:44,640 Speaker 1: slash directory. And if you want to continue this conversation 700 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,360 Speaker 1: and join a community of other sisters who listen to 701 00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:51,000 Speaker 1: the podcast. Join us over in the Thrive Tribe at 702 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:55,040 Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash tribe. Make sure 703 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,800 Speaker 1: you answer the three questions that are asked to gain entry. 704 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:01,480 Speaker 1: Thank y'all again for joining me this week, and I 705 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,319 Speaker 1: look forward to continue in this conversation with you all 706 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,319 Speaker 1: real soon. Take care,