1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,480 Speaker 1: Buddle up, hold on tight. We got it for you here. 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry letter. Subject is he my kids 3 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: daddy or granddaddy? Dear Stephen Shirley As nephew Tommy would say, 4 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: buckle up and hold on tight. He just said it, 5 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 1: uh for for real this time. There's no easy way 6 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,600 Speaker 1: to explain my situation. I am a twenty eight year 7 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 1: old married woman. I married my high school sweetheart and 8 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:27,040 Speaker 1: we have six kids. But I'm not sure who my father, 9 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: who my kid's father is. Here's why. Ten years ago, 10 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:33,520 Speaker 1: I lost my parents in a bad accident, and living 11 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: without them was unbearable for me. I started drinking, partying, 12 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: and having sex all of the time with different men. 13 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: I was a mess. My boyfriend had no idea about 14 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,600 Speaker 1: my secret sex life. One night, when I was drunk, 15 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 1: I went to my boyfriend's house looking for him and 16 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: ended up having sex with his father. His dad and 17 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: I had amazing sexual chemistry, so we continue to have 18 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: sex for years. I got pregnant with my first child 19 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: and my boyfriend and I got married. Since i've been married, 20 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,120 Speaker 1: I've only had sex with my husband and his dad. 21 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 1: I do not use protection with my husband, and I 22 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,759 Speaker 1: do not use protection with his dad. Recently, my husband's 23 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,120 Speaker 1: dad and I ended our affair because it was getting 24 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: harder to sneak around. I also stopped drinking and decided 25 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: to get my life together so I can be a 26 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,679 Speaker 1: better wife and a great mom. But the first thing 27 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 1: I need to do is figure out who the daddy 28 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 1: of each of my kids. Who is the daddy of 29 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: each one of my kids? Is it my husband or 30 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: is it his father. I love my husband dearly and 31 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: I don't want to lose him. His love and support 32 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: got me through the worst part of my life. I 33 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: need to tell him about my affair with his dad, 34 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,919 Speaker 1: and I need to get him to do a DNA test. 35 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: My kids deserve to know who their dad is, right, 36 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 1: But I don't want to ruin the relationship that my 37 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: husband has with his dad. So how do I approach this? 38 00:01:55,320 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: Please help? Well, yeah, yeah, this is one of those moments. Um, yeah, 39 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,280 Speaker 1: you're going to ruin the relationship. I mean no doubt 40 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: about it. If you tell the there's you're going to 41 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: do that. I mean, uh so, don't even I don't 42 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: even know why you put that in the letter, because 43 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: that's definitely going to happen. You know, I'm sorry that 44 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: you lost your your parents, your parents ten years ago. 45 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: You know, that's why they have counseling and stuff like that, 46 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: so people can work on those kinds of issues and 47 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 1: not use drinking and sex and things like that to 48 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: get through it. That's what you did, That's what happened. 49 00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: This is really crazy. Um. I'm glad you've changed your 50 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: life around, but boy, have you left just a trail 51 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,520 Speaker 1: of mess behind, just a trail. What I don't understand 52 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: is why you kept sleeping with both of them, both 53 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: your dad his dad and your husband, the dad's son. 54 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,639 Speaker 1: Why why did you keep doing it for so long? 55 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,960 Speaker 1: You said you did it for years, And why were 56 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,639 Speaker 1: you doing it with no protection? Because you know when 57 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 1: you do it with no protection, you can get pregnant 58 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,920 Speaker 1: or get a disease or something. I mean, that was 59 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: just dumb. I don't think you should tell. I just don't. 60 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:11,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I know there there are times, you know, 61 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: when when this supplies, and I just think there's one 62 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: of them. I just think this is a secret you're 63 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 1: going to have to take to your grave, because there's 64 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 1: no way if you do tell, you're not going to 65 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: ruin their relationship. This is just because of your past behavior. 66 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: This is just one of those burdens you have to carry, 67 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: and you got to carry it to your grave as 68 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: far as I'm concerned, Steve, First of all, system you've 69 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:39,480 Speaker 1: made a series of bad mistakes and you just gotta 70 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: eat him. But now this moment that you're having in 71 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:48,440 Speaker 1: this letter, I need to tell him talking about your husband. 72 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: I love my husband dearly and I don't want to 73 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 1: lose him. His love and support got me through the 74 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: worst part of my life. I need to tell him 75 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: about my affair with his dad, and I need him 76 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: to get him to do a DNA test. My kids 77 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,320 Speaker 1: deserve to know who their dad is, right, But I 78 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: don't want to ruin a relationship that my husband has 79 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: with his dad. So how do I approach this? Please help? Uh? 80 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 1: There's nothing to approach here. You've made a series of mistakes, 81 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 1: horrible mistakes. You're not the only one to blame here. 82 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: This man's your husband's father, has a world of responsibility 83 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 1: to bear up under this. How could you do this 84 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: to your son? That's a big issue too. How could 85 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: you do this to your son? See, now here's the 86 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:47,039 Speaker 1: messed up part. You only want getting everything you want, 87 00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,359 Speaker 1: young lady, you're the only one getting everything you want. 88 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:56,039 Speaker 1: You got your husband, you got your affair, you got 89 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,760 Speaker 1: your kids, you got all this. Now you ain't saying 90 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: you're had no troubles in your life. You have, but 91 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 1: you've compounded them with some other decisions too. But now 92 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:10,880 Speaker 1: and then the father in law, this man you have 93 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 1: an affair with, he getting everything he won't. He got grandkids, 94 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: he got his son, he got his daughter in law, 95 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: he got a chick on the side. He cool. That's trifling. 96 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,160 Speaker 1: So you and him have been the only ones getting 97 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 1: exactly what you knew you were getting. Let's look at 98 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:34,239 Speaker 1: the lives who don't know what they was getting. Your 99 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: kids don't know who they dog on daddy is not 100 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: really But then it's really not a question for them 101 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: right now because they're just assuming that's my daddy. M 102 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:48,320 Speaker 1: If you take that from them, what have you done? 103 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: This ain't the time to run your mouth. This is 104 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: the one time Chillon and got this straight. No, really, 105 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 1: you always recommit telling the truth. And now you're saying, 106 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 1: live a lie. And this is when you have to 107 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: live the lot because she's destroying families. If it's okay, 108 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,600 Speaker 1: surely you've always said you should tell the truth. It's 109 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 1: okay you have that's what you're here. Now you change 110 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: it on this week. You here though, you hear what 111 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:24,040 Speaker 1: you want to know. That's what you say. Shirley, Sureley. 112 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: This is my turn with the letter, don't name, keep 113 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: her name. It's the Strawberry Letter. We'll be back now. 114 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: This is the Strawberry Letter. I've been asked by my 115 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: co host to keep her name out of my mouth 116 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 1: when I do. I'm finding that increasingly difficult. But let's 117 00:06:48,279 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: just reiterate this. Twenty one year old married woman married 118 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: to a high school sweetheart, got six kids. Ten years ago, 119 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 1: she lost my parents in a bad accident. She started 120 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: drinking the health sex with all kind of man. One 121 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: time she went over to the house looking for a boyfriend, 122 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 1: he wasn't there. She winded up having sex with his daddy. 123 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: They've continued to have this affair even though they've gotten married. 124 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: She has always kept an affair going with the with 125 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: her husband's father. Now, she got six kids and she 126 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 1: don't know whose kids they are, so she wants to 127 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 1: go have a DNA test. So she wants to stop drinking. 128 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,239 Speaker 1: She stopped drinking and decided to get her life together 129 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 1: so she can be a better wife and a great mom. 130 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,120 Speaker 1: She said, But the first thing I need to do 131 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: is figure out who is the daddy of each one 132 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 1: of my kids. Is it my husband or is it 133 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: his father. I love my husband dearly and I don't 134 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: want to lose him. You're about to His love and 135 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: support got me through the worst part of my life, 136 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: and this is how you repain. I need to tell 137 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: him about my affair with his dad, and I need 138 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 1: him to go get do a DNA test. You're gonna 139 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: go tell your husband about to a fair you've been 140 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 1: having with his daddy. Now, I just told you you're 141 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: gonna ruin these kids lives because these kids only know 142 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 1: your husband as their dad and they know Grandpa as 143 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: their grandfather. You're gonna go in there and rearrange that. 144 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: But you don't want to lose your husband. This is 145 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,640 Speaker 1: exactly how you lose your husband. You're running out, running 146 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: your mouth with disinformation right here. The best thing you 147 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: could do is stop seeing his old man, ask God 148 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: for forgiveness and going to get your life together. If 149 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: you do decide to go in there and tell which 150 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,839 Speaker 1: would be the dumbest thing you can do. You're going 151 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: to ruin the kids lives. Your husband, his father's son 152 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: relationship will be damaged, possibly beyond repair. Your life will 153 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: suffer because you won't have this husband anymore. Then you 154 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 1: won't have their fair you had it with and I 155 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: got something else you haven't thought of. Your relationship with 156 00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 1: your children could be damaged by this m M because 157 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 1: when they get old and finally figure out what it 158 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: is you did, that's gonna be a tough one. So 159 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: you're talking at this point doesn't make any sense to 160 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: me at all. None. And once again I'm gonna say 161 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: this though, my co host has gotten it right by 162 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 1: telling you to stand down and shut your mouth, which 163 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:33,439 Speaker 1: goes against normally. See I have I have promoted lying 164 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 1: since we got on. This shows the biggest promoter of 165 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: truth telling been my co host. I have told her 166 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: sometimes the reason me and lie is because if we 167 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: know the truth ain't gonna go good, we will give 168 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: you a lie instead. This is one of those situations 169 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: where the truth ain't gonna go good. That's no good 170 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: can come out through I agree nothing. And finally I 171 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,760 Speaker 1: got her to understand whil line is necessary. Yeah, you can't. 172 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:14,040 Speaker 1: You'll destroy everything and everyone shouldn't have been written. Yeah, 173 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 1: you don't kind of documentary. But she's feeling guilt. That's 174 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,439 Speaker 1: what she's feeling, all kinds of guilt since she's changed 175 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 1: her Yeah, she's that's one thing she's going to have 176 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,960 Speaker 1: to do. She made in therapy after all, you know, 177 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: to deal with all of this, because she's dealt with 178 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: a lot. When you do tell them, do the kids 179 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: say granddadday, daddy, gaddimate everyone? So? Is your brother really 180 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: your niece or you? What do I call it? Kid? 181 00:10:52,559 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 1: What the kids going through? Get them? Well, if now 182 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: I was gonna say something reasonable, Oh, okay, technically the 183 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 1: kids will always be brother and sisters because they share 184 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 1: the same mother. Yeah, so technically they always be brothers sister. Now, 185 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: if you get rid of the technicality, uncle, you're gonna 186 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 1: have a damn problem because somebody over there is gonna 187 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: have to be somebody uncle. One of them bars is 188 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:43,160 Speaker 1: gonna be and one of them girls gonna be somebody aunt. 189 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 1: But all of misty cousins, you sign your gonna have 190 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: to be the niece to bring any he has to 191 00:11:55,040 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 1: get in the leader roll call at the family union 192 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 1: gonna have a lot of people standing up with the 193 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:12,559 Speaker 1: same damn tight and you can have multiple titles in 194 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:16,600 Speaker 1: this family. When all the sons of Walter stand up 195 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: here now, when all the sons of Walter Junior staying now, 196 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 1: let me ask y'all this hell anybody that's Walter seniors cousins, now, 197 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 1: we're the same people stand up for Walter Junior. Lord, 198 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 1: this is a mess. It messes the tree up on 199 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: the T shirt. You know, yeah, well I treat, I 200 00:12:55,760 --> 00:13:02,280 Speaker 1: treat got acces in now. Walter Junior sent a message 201 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: this year that he will not be attending the Family 202 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: Union because he just can't deal. All right, Steve, we 203 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: gotta get out of here. Email us at Strawberry Letter, 204 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: my girl Shirley or and you can join me this 205 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,319 Speaker 1: Thursday at one thirty pm for the Strawberry Letter Live 206 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 1: after show on Facebook. You're listening to the Steve Harvey 207 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: Morning Show.