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Speaker 1: This is Cowboy Sam and this is Eh John, And

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Speaker 1: we've last.

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Speaker 2: Showed in some amazing stories for y'all the Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 1: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little

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Speaker 1: two minute out break from those bucking sponsors. We bucking

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Speaker 1: love so much they paid us the bucks to help

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Speaker 1: this show stay alive.

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Speaker 2: My sister in law caused Thanksgiving drama but refused to

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Speaker 2: own up to her mistakes.

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Speaker 1: Why.

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Speaker 2: Some of you may remember my previous post, which I

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Speaker 2: deleted due to privacy concerns about the Thanksgiving drama. Short recap,

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Speaker 2: my husband's grandma passed away and the funeral was the

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Speaker 2: day before Thanksgiving. I helped my husband's brother's wife sister

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Speaker 2: in law, with their two kids during the funeral and

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Speaker 2: try to keep the three year old quiet, but it

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Speaker 2: didn't work. He was very disruptive. Sister in law finally

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Speaker 2: removed the kids from the church and then sulked in

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Speaker 2: the bedroom for the rest of the day. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from Corzoral PFBJ and if you want to

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Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to our slash. Okay story

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Speaker 2: Time severed it so later that evening, the three year

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Speaker 2: old started antagonizing our elderly dog by running at him

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Speaker 2: and yelling. They had never had any issues before this.

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Speaker 2: His dad told him no, My husband told him no,

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Speaker 2: and I told him no. He did it twice more,

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Speaker 2: and the last time the dog growled. We removed the

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Speaker 2: dog from the situation, and sister in law swooped in,

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Speaker 2: saying to the three year old, come on, no one

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Speaker 2: wants you here. It's just a darn dog. She then

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Speaker 2: tried to get her husband to take them to a

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Speaker 2: hotel because no one wants the kids here. Sister in

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Speaker 2: law sulked all Thanksgiving morning and refused to speak to me.

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Speaker 2: Then she defriended me on Facebook. My husband made some

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Speaker 2: snarky comments that I'm ninety nine percent sure sister in

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Speaker 2: law overheard. Everything came to a head at Thanksgiving dinner

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Speaker 2: when sister in law ignored her mother in law, whose

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Speaker 2: mother had just been buried the day before and in

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Speaker 2: whose house we were staying. My husband lost his temper

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Speaker 2: and yelled at her. I'm sorry that, oh, he tried

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Speaker 2: to keep your child quiet at a funeral. I'm sorry

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Speaker 2: that we tried to keep our dog from biting your son.

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Speaker 2: You can be mad at me, but don't take it

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Speaker 2: out on the family and especially not my mom. Good

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Speaker 2: on Ope's partner.

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Speaker 1: I agree, although I am admittedly a little out of

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Speaker 1: the loop because I was making sure drive turkey's not racist,

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Speaker 1: and it's not. It's not.

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Speaker 2: Sister in law got angry and yelled at him and me,

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Speaker 2: saying that we have no value because we have no children.

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Speaker 2: More yelling followed. Sister in law and her family left,

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Speaker 2: saying they were never coming back. Mother in law was

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Speaker 2: in tears, thinking she had lost both her grandchildren and

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Speaker 2: her mother within five days. She literally begged my husband

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Speaker 2: and me not to leave. Obviously we stayed. The general

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Speaker 2: consensus on how to proceed is don't engage. There's nothing

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Speaker 2: to apologize for. She's acting immature. My husband probably should

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Speaker 2: apologize for making snarky comments, but overall, sister in law

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Speaker 2: was the one creating drama, acting inconsiderate towards mother in

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Speaker 2: law and making a funeral about herself. Since then, it's

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Speaker 2: been completely radio silence until today. Sister in law sent

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Speaker 2: my husband this email, Opie's husband, you may not like

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Speaker 2: me either. Well, what happened during Thanksgiving was that wait, yes,

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Speaker 2: sister in law was a disaster, and I feel bad

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Speaker 2: that it happened. As a mother, I will not let

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Speaker 2: anything or anyone hurt my kids, and I will always

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Speaker 2: be their protector, their defender, and be there for them.

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Speaker 2: We didn't handle the situation very well regarding three year

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Speaker 2: old behavior during the funeral service or just in general

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Speaker 2: while being in the house, but we also have to

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Speaker 2: remember that he's three years old and doesn't know any

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Speaker 2: better when it comes to handling his own behavior, let

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Speaker 2: alone being quiet at a funeral service. And that's why you,

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Speaker 2: as the parents, I have to know better. Emotions were high,

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Speaker 2: everyone was stressed out, and things just got out of hand.

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Speaker 2: I'm reaching out to you to apologize and hopes we

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Speaker 2: can all move forward. I know it will take time,

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Speaker 2: but I don't want three year old to think he

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Speaker 2: doesn't have uncle, uncle or aunt Opie anymore, because he

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Speaker 2: does like being around you guys. This darm law and

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Speaker 2: there are some comments that's not a terrible one, but

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Speaker 2: also kind of not taking any responsibility for the funeral.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was just worse for the real apology and

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Speaker 1: it just kept on. The quality of the apology just kept.

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Speaker 2: Going like yea down hill, Okay, but it wasn't great.

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Speaker 2: It was just kind of man. It wouldn't make me

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Speaker 2: feel better about it. I'd be like, Okay, probably share

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Speaker 2: it to everyone I knew and be like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: look what she said to me. Her excuse of him

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Speaker 2: being three and not knowing any better is bs As

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Speaker 2: a teacher who regularly sees three year olds passing in

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Speaker 2: the lunch room or to their buses, they are one

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Speaker 2: hundred percent capable of knowing better. It is the way

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Speaker 2: you teach them and show them what to do. Common

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Speaker 2: to You feel weird about the apology because she's trying

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Speaker 2: to change the facts of what happened. You are upset

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Speaker 2: because in a stressful situation, she reacted with anger and

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Speaker 2: aggression and kept escalating and escalating until there was a

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Speaker 2: blow up fight. She's apologizing for her child behaving badly

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Speaker 2: and becoming too aggressive in his defense, you were angry

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Speaker 2: at her behavior, but she is acting like you were

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Speaker 2: unfairly angry at her young child. She is changing the

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Speaker 2: facts to make herself look better and force you to

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Speaker 2: welcome her back, which is a crap thing to do

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Speaker 2: whilst's supposedly trying to make amends. The best thing for

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Speaker 2: the whole family is probably if you all get past this, though,

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Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean you have to to pretend like

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Speaker 2: her apology is the truth, and feel free to bring

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Speaker 2: up her misinterpretation of the situation.

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Speaker 1: Before you proceed.

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Speaker 2: And there is an update to the other thoughts.

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Speaker 1: I think that last one was perfect, where it's like,

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Speaker 1: feel free to bring up the fact that she's off base,

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Speaker 1: because it's like that was It's just it's this is

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Speaker 1: all just like too much. It needs to be so

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Speaker 1: much like there's a simple way to do this, and

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Speaker 1: it's just being like I was wrong, I made a mistake.

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Speaker 1: Please forgive me, Like, shouldn't reacted that way? Yeah, Instead,

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Speaker 1: it's like that, but then all this other stuff around

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Speaker 1: it where it's like, but actually I'm perfectly justified in everything.

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Speaker 2: Three, so it's not really my problem.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: So, after sister in law sent that very toxic apology,

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Speaker 2: my husband was very upset about it, and so was I.

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Speaker 2: After I took some time to process and read all

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Speaker 2: of your very helpful comments, he decided not to write

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Speaker 2: back right away and to take some time to think

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Speaker 2: about an apology. We usually email back and forth during

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Speaker 2: the work week to talk about stuff, and I sent

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Speaker 2: him a summary of what I had gleaned from your help,

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Speaker 2: which was borrowed heavily from someone else. This is an apology.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't seem contrite, and she's reframing this as I'm

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Speaker 2: sorry for wanting to take care of my child. No,

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Speaker 2: that is not what this is about. She acted entitled, petulant, immature,

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Speaker 2: and boorish. We're not expecting a three year old to

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Speaker 2: be perfectly behaved at all times. It's her attitude and

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Speaker 2: actions that we take issue with. Your mom, my mother

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Speaker 2: in law, and sister in law's mother in law deserves

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Speaker 2: a real apology. It wasn't fair to her to make

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Speaker 2: her mother's funeral more stressful. It wasn't fair for her

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Speaker 2: to have to face losing her mother and her best

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Speaker 2: friend and potentially her oldest son and grandchildren in the

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Speaker 2: space of two days. It wasn't appropriate for sister in

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Speaker 2: law to ignore her and give her the silent treatment

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Speaker 2: because sister in law was upset with us. If she

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Speaker 2: was legitimately upset with the way that I interacted with

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Speaker 2: three year old during the funeral, she needed to pull

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Speaker 2: me aside and have an adult conversation about it and

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Speaker 2: asked me to not do those things. And explain why.

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Speaker 2: If she was upset with the way that both of

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Speaker 2: us interacted with three year old about the dog, then

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Speaker 2: she needed to pull us aside and have an adult

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Speaker 2: conversation about it and try to resolve whatever it was

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Speaker 2: that she was upset about. She should have included me

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Speaker 2: in that that email or sent me a separate apology.

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Speaker 2: Not including me in the greeting, not including me on

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Speaker 2: the email, deleting and blocking me on a Facebook is

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Speaker 2: still giving me the silent treatment that she started a

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Speaker 2: Thanksgiving You and I are a team. I am part

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Speaker 2: of this family too, and this situation involved both of us.

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Speaker 2: Looking back on this, I'm not sure how valid this

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Speaker 2: point is about me giving me the silent treatment. I'm

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Speaker 2: not sure if she even has my email address, although

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Speaker 2: she certainly has my phone number. I do kind of

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Speaker 2: feel like sister in law is leaving me out on purpose,

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Speaker 2: but I don't really have any evidence other than the

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Speaker 2: fact that she didn't include me in the apology at all,

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Speaker 2: other than the last sentence with the emotional manipulation part.

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Speaker 2: Saying you have no value because you have no children

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Speaker 2: is a crappy thing to say and a horrible thing

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Speaker 2: to believe. What about the millions of people on this

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Speaker 2: earth who are unable to have children? Is she saying

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Speaker 2: that those people are worthless? Is she saying that human

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Speaker 2: beings are only valuable if they reproduce? What if her

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Speaker 2: own children grow up and decide not to have kids,

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Speaker 2: would that mean that her children have no value? That

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Speaker 2: is horrible, That is not okay. This was an extremely

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Speaker 2: hurtful thing to hurl at us, and she needs to

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Speaker 2: apologize for saying this. And although this probably won't happen

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Speaker 2: and isn't really our place to tell her, she needs

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Speaker 2: to examine her own beliefs and think about what made

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Speaker 2: her say that in the first place. Obviously, a three

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Speaker 2: year old isn't going to be as well behaved as

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Speaker 2: a first grader. But children and tuls aren't exactly stupid.

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Speaker 2: They can understand social cues way better than they can

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Speaker 2: speak or throw a ball. For example, look at three

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Speaker 2: year old's cousin, who is the same age. He was

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Speaker 2: at the same funeral, in the same pew, and he

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Speaker 2: was perfectly well behaved because his parents brought quiet toys

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Speaker 2: for him and taught him how to behave on top

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Speaker 2: of that, the whole it's just that three year olds

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Speaker 2: are and there's nothing poor little me can do about it.

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Speaker 2: It's just a really crappy attitude to have when you're

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Speaker 2: raising a child. I mean also, if he was crying,

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Speaker 2: you take him outside, right, you go, you know, you

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Speaker 2: deal with his emotions, not in front.

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Speaker 1: Of everyone, police the children in private.

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Speaker 2: Sure, try try harder. You don't start from a point

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Speaker 2: of failure and expect success to materialize. Saying I just

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Speaker 2: want my child to have an uncle and aunt is

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Speaker 2: classic emotional manipulation. Instead of hashing it out between the

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Speaker 2: three of us, the adults, she's use three year old

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Speaker 2: as bait. He isn't involved in this except parenthetically. The

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Speaker 2: problem we have is with sister in law. Sister law's

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Speaker 2: attitude and sister in law's behavior. Husband agreed with all

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Speaker 2: these points and told me that he still needed to

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Speaker 2: think about how to respond, which I told him was

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Speaker 2: completely fine and that I understood. We went ahead and

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Speaker 2: sent Christmas presents to them, although we haven't received any

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Speaker 2: gifts from them. They did send a non personal Christmas

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Speaker 2: postcard last week. We didn't spend much money under seventy

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Speaker 2: dollars and kept it very generic for the adults. A

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Speaker 2: book for brother in law, a lotion chapstick scept for

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Speaker 2: sister in law, and tailored the gifts for the kids

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Speaker 2: Minnion puzzle for three year old who loves Minions, sippy

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Speaker 2: cup for baby, and topped it off with a twenty

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Speaker 2: dollars target gift card for the whole family in a

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Speaker 2: generic car that just said Merry Christmas with our names well.

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Speaker 2: Sister in law texted both husband and me on Christmas

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Speaker 2: Eve with pictures of the kids with their presents and

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Speaker 2: said Merry Christmas. I responded with Merry Christmas back to her.

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Speaker 2: The day after Christmas, she texted both of us again

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Speaker 2: with the picture of the baby smiling and holding the

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Speaker 2: sippy cup and said that he loves with the cup

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Speaker 2: and asked where we got it. Husband responded with the

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Speaker 2: place and we made some small talk about it, exchanging

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Speaker 2: about three four texts. Three to four texts. Husband and

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Speaker 2: I took turns responding. Later that afternoon, I got on

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Speaker 2: Facebook and noticed that I had a friend request. Sister

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Speaker 2: in law refriended me. After the conversation. Okay, okay, some

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Speaker 2: progress a little bit, that's something somewhat I'm uncomfortable with

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Speaker 2: accepting her request until my husband responds. I told him

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Speaker 2: that she had requested to be my friend again and

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Speaker 2: told husband that I didn't want to accept until he responded.

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Speaker 2: He agreed that I shouldn't accept until he responds, but

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Speaker 2: that he wasn't sure what yet what to write. I

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Speaker 2: suggested using a version of the falling response. Thank you

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Speaker 2: for writing and apologizing. To be clear, none of us

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Speaker 2: were angry at three year old. We were frustrated and

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Speaker 2: hurt by your behavior. It was our few days for

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Speaker 2: all of us, especially my mom, and your behavior really

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Speaker 2: hurt feelings, especially the way you treated mom during dinner

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Speaker 2: and then shouted at us about not having children.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like the initial apology was her being like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you just take my three year old, and everyone's like, no, right,

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Speaker 2: you behave badly. Right your three year old was a

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Speaker 2: three year old, right, you are an adult.

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Speaker 1: Someone here hates the three year old they're three. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: We understand that it was a stressful time, but it

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Speaker 2: is not okay for you to treat the family that

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Speaker 2: way in the future. If you're having an issue with

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Speaker 2: either of us, please pull us aside so we can

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Speaker 2: have a private conversation and work it out then and there.

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Speaker 2: We appreciate you reaching out, and we agree that we

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Speaker 2: should all move forward together. Lad that you all enjoyed

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Speaker 2: your Christmas gifts things for the pictures. You read it

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Speaker 2: and thought it was a good start to a letter

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Speaker 2: and said that he would tinker with it, but that

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Speaker 2: he wasn't ready to send a response yet. I'm a

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Speaker 2: bit frustrated with this because I don't want to offend

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Speaker 2: sister in law by letting her friend request it and

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Speaker 2: starting a whole bunch of new drama. But I also

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Speaker 2: am not going to accept it until husband sends a

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Speaker 2: response to me. Accepting her friend request feels like a

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Speaker 2: tacit acceptance of her apology. In some ways, I wonder

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Speaker 2: if we shouldn't have sent gifts or responded so much

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Speaker 2: to her text. However, I do want to make peace,

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Speaker 2: so I do think it was good that we did

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Speaker 2: those things. At least she can't say we weren't civil.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure why my husband is dragging his feet

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Speaker 2: so much. I think it's probably because this is the

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Speaker 2: first time in ten years that he's really stood up

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Speaker 2: to her and not let her get away with throwing

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Speaker 2: a fit. He's also a peacemaker and very non confrontational,

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Speaker 2: which I think is playing into I completely understand needing

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Speaker 2: time to process and thoughtfully compose a response. But it's

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Speaker 2: been two weeks since sister in law sent her apology

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Speaker 2: and I would like to get this resolved. Am I

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Speaker 2: being ridiculous? Should I just go ahead and accept her request?

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Speaker 2: I really don't want to until a husband responds. Should

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Speaker 2: I let my husband take things on his own timeline?

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Speaker 2: Or should I continue to encourage him to respond? The

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Speaker 2: only reason I'm feeling pressure to resolve it is the

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Speaker 2: Facebook thing? Should I just let that go? And there

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Speaker 2: is a second update? I think to finish off this story?

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Speaker 1: But what do you think?

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Speaker 2: Let it go?

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Speaker 1: We're getting lost in the sauce here? Did Yeah?

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Speaker 2: He's like, should I accept the request?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Except the rest? And I'd such my message being

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Speaker 1: like I think your apology was lacking.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, go, I honestly stop sending your messages.

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Speaker 1: Call her?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Call her and be like, hey, it felt like

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Speaker 2: that apology didn't really like. I wasn't really satisfied with that.

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Speaker 2: I would like to talk more about this issue.

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Speaker 1: I'm always a fan of the IRL mouth to mouth freestyle.

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Speaker 2: That's true. Edit too small update the day after I

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Speaker 2: posted this, we went to a five k race with

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Speaker 2: my husband's parents that we were planning on going to

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Speaker 2: with them for several months. Right before the race, sister

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Speaker 2: in law texted me later that day, first time she's

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Speaker 2: directly spoken to me since the whole thing, and asked,

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Speaker 2: it's your hat's been ever going to speak to me again?

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Speaker 2: I've tried reaching out to him via email and text.

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Speaker 2: I responded. I showed my husband first and asked if

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Speaker 2: it was okay, and he said it was fine and

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Speaker 2: said I'm sorry, just got your text. I haven't seen

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Speaker 2: the text for about an hour because I didn't have

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Speaker 2: my phone on me. He was really upset and told

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Speaker 2: me that he still needs some time to process, that

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Speaker 2: he'd rather wait than send something he'd regret because he's

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Speaker 2: still upset. Thank you for reaching out, and I think

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Speaker 2: we all want to move forward. I think he needs

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Speaker 2: a little more time, but that he will send a

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Speaker 2: response when he's ready. I do want to express that

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Speaker 2: I'm still feeling a little hurt too, and I would

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Speaker 2: really like to have a phone conversation with you, yes

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Speaker 2: sometime soon, to talk so we can have a good

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Speaker 2: relationship going forward. She didn't respond, and I primarily want

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Speaker 2: to talk to her about two things, based on the

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Speaker 2: comments and based on how I'm feeling about the situation

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Speaker 2: in the future. How do you want me to interact

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Speaker 2: with your children. I don't want to step on any toes,

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Speaker 2: and I don't think I was out of bounds in

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Speaker 2: what I did. But if she is an issue with

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Speaker 2: me doing anything other than playing with them, then I

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Speaker 2: would like to know. I pretty much view what happened

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Speaker 2: from my end as a normal authority figure oversight trying

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Speaker 2: to entertain him and keep him quiet, and trying to

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Speaker 2: keep him from antagonizing a dog and getting hurt. I

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Speaker 2: would like to hear her view of what happened and

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Speaker 2: understand what she was feeling when I was doing those things.

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Speaker 2: I would like to know what line she felt I

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Speaker 2: overstepped so that in the future I can be sure

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Speaker 2: not to overstep that. I think it was mostly with

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Speaker 2: the funeral stuff. If she has a problem with the

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Speaker 2: way we handle the dog situation, I don't think I

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Speaker 2: would ever feel comfortable being in the same room with

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Speaker 2: my nephew, because I won't stand by and do nothing

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Speaker 2: if there's a chance he might get hurt. If appropriate,

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Speaker 2: I would like to ask if she's okay. Some pointed

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Speaker 2: out that she might be overwhelmed with the kids, and

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Speaker 2: I think that might be a really good insight. I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to demand an apology or anything. If she

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Speaker 2: wants to give a real apology, then she will. If

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Speaker 2: she doesn't, I think I can let it go. But

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be walking on eggshells the next

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Speaker 2: time we visit, wondering if the way I interact with

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Speaker 2: my nephew is going to make her upset again. Well,

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Speaker 2: you know what never makes me upset? I do know

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Speaker 2: listening to fall episodes of stories just like this. Just

354
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,160
Speaker 2: go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast app

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Speaker 2: and search a pokey story time. But there is a

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Speaker 2: teeny tiny bit left of the story.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with everything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a great response. I think that you

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Speaker 2: know what you need to do. Got to have that

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Speaker 2: phone conversation, get it off your chest, Yeah, and then

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Speaker 2: move forward.

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Speaker 1: Plan it in some way, I guess. And you know,

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Speaker 1: you can't really demand the apology. That would be weird.

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Speaker 2: So although you can express to her that you are hurt,

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Speaker 2: that this is how you felt about the apology, but like,

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Speaker 2: don't request anything of her. She will do what she

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Speaker 2: wants to do.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: At the five K I walked with his mom, and

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Speaker 2: he and his dad both ran it. I was planning

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Speaker 2: on bringing up the subject and asking her advice since

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Speaker 2: she has known sister in law for much longer and

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Speaker 2: because sister in law was so rude to her, But

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Speaker 2: as soon as mother in law and I were alone,

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Speaker 2: she brought it up and asked if we had heard anything.

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Speaker 2: I told her that sister in law had sent us

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Speaker 2: sort of but not really apology didn't go into specifics,

378
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,520
Speaker 2: and mother in law said that she got a very

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Speaker 2: similar email that wasn't actually an apology but a bunch

380
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Speaker 2: of excuses. You didn't go into specifics. Either go into specifics, man,

381
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,880
Speaker 2: come on specifics. Mother in law said that she was

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Speaker 2: completely fed up and didn't want to deal with her

383
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Speaker 2: after years of this kind of behavior, and that she

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Speaker 2: hasn't responded and doesn't plan to, and advise me to

385
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Speaker 2: just leave it alone. But I'd already sent the message,

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Speaker 2: so I don't really know. I'm not sure if I

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Speaker 2: should wait for sister in law to respond, or if

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00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,120
Speaker 2: I should text again and ask if there's a good

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Speaker 2: time for me to call her. Let her respond honestly.

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00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,400
Speaker 2: Let her Yeah, you've already put You've already given the

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Speaker 2: little olive branch. See if she takes it. That's on

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Speaker 2: her app thought.

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Speaker 1: Done what you can, You've done what you must. Now

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Speaker 1: you must leave the rest with her.

395
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Speaker 2: Must trust trust, you must leave the rest the musk.

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Speaker 1: I banned my brother's cheating girlfriend. Years later, she's still

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Speaker 1: playing victim.

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Speaker 3: Don't you try, don't play My thirty one female sister

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Speaker 3: in law thirty four female has been a thorn in

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Speaker 3: my side for almost two decades.

401
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Speaker 1: When I first met her in my middle school years,

402
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 1: I idolized her for being older and cooler. Except when

403
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:13,040
Speaker 1: I met her, she wasn't dating my brother thirty three male.

404
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,199
Speaker 1: She was dating his best friend. By the way, this

405
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 1: comes from user Depth National fifty three fifteen, and if

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Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 1: r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So my brother and I

408
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,720
Speaker 1: have always been extremely close and share a friend group,

409
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,119
Speaker 1: so I was often with some of his friends. D

410
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,199
Speaker 1: also started coming around frequently. Not too long later. D

411
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,439
Speaker 1: had caused some chaos within the friend group, cheating on

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00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,879
Speaker 1: her boyfriend with my brother cheating on my brother with

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Speaker 1: his best friend and slowly making her way around the

414
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Speaker 1: rest of his friends.

415
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Speaker 2: Spare one whoa spare that one spare them.

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Speaker 1: Only one was spared from the wrath of D. As

417
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 1: you can probably guess, my adoration for her quickly dissipated.

418
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 1: Her true colors continued to show more and more. D

419
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,800
Speaker 1: has no filter and says it was very rude and

420
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,560
Speaker 1: inappropriate things to myself, my family, and our friends constantly.

421
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 1: Most friends actually distanced themselves for my brother because of her.

422
00:18:08,119 --> 00:18:11,480
Speaker 1: She became more insufferable as time went on. This caused

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Speaker 1: my brother to get booted out of the house that

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00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,399
Speaker 1: he was renting with his friends. They ended up getting

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Speaker 1: an apartment together, and by they, I just mean my

426
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 1: brother Ded didn't work, doesn't drive or know how, and

427
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,960
Speaker 1: just went to school. My brother had to rearrange his

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00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,360
Speaker 1: work schedule to drive her to and from classes, pay

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00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,560
Speaker 1: for the apartment and everything that comes with it, and

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00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 1: had to cook and clean because with school she was

431
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,359
Speaker 1: too busy. It was hard to watch and even harder

432
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,080
Speaker 1: to be around. Oh God, you hate a relationship like that.

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00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,439
Speaker 1: She had rules like not being able to get a

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Speaker 1: glass of water if we came over because we didn't

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00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,760
Speaker 1: pay rent there, and would scold my brother if he

436
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:49,120
Speaker 1: did so. Anyway, what no water, no water? No water?

437
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 2: Imagine if like every time someone came over to her, us

438
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 2: were like no water.

439
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:57,120
Speaker 1: She would also make very rude and snide remarks anytime

440
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,439
Speaker 1: she was around anyone, saying things to me, specifically like

441
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,920
Speaker 1: you probably shouldn't have kids, or you might pass down

442
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,200
Speaker 1: a lazy eye. My eyes are perfectly fine, by the way,

443
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 1: or I think your mom could have mistreated you more.

444
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,560
Speaker 1: To be honest, could this lady?

445
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:14,640
Speaker 2: You would shut up?

446
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,440
Speaker 1: You're stinky. You're so ugly on the inside. I can't

447
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 1: imagine the rot within you. She also told my baby cousin,

448
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 1: who was struggling with an eating disorder, that she should

449
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 1: quit after high school so she doesn't lose her prime

450
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,359
Speaker 1: years of being skinny. Needless to say, I was less

451
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 1: than a fan of her. Yeah, not too long later,

452
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 1: I got a call from my brother, who was beside

453
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,880
Speaker 1: himself because he walked in on her cheating on him.

454
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 1: I was relieved, to be honest, but I listened and

455
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 1: reassured him that he didn't deserve any of it. It

456
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,080
Speaker 1: was heartbroken for months, but during that time, we got

457
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,119
Speaker 1: closer than before, and his friend started coming around again.

458
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 1: Months later, they reconnected. I was close enough with my

459
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,119
Speaker 1: brother to let him know that I don't condone cheating

460
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:58,480
Speaker 1: or the hurt she put him through, and I don't

461
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 1: think it's a very smart idea. I told him I'd

462
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 1: support him no matter what, but I didn't want to

463
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 1: be around her. I reminded him that it wasn't the

464
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 1: first time she'd done it either, seeing as that's how

465
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 1: they had gotten together in the first place. You gain it,

466
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 1: you lose him. How you got it.

467
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,360
Speaker 2: Your brother also sucks. Man.

468
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 1: You lose her, you got him. He reassured me he

469
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,280
Speaker 1: would be fine. Conspiracy theory.

470
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,360
Speaker 2: He's not fine. He's not fine.

471
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,879
Speaker 1: Weeks went by and my parents were out of town.

472
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,120
Speaker 1: I lived with my dad and stepmom at the time,

473
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,160
Speaker 1: and my brother asked if he could come stay at

474
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 1: my dad's while they were gone to get some peace

475
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,639
Speaker 1: from his roommates. I agreed, but didn't realize he would

476
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 1: bring her. I immediately and immaturely confronted her and yelled

477
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 1: at her to get off my property and that she

478
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,679
Speaker 1: would not be staying there. Things escalated physically, and they

479
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 1: ended up leaving fast forward to now. I live out

480
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,439
Speaker 1: of state and come home for holidays. This was my

481
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,240
Speaker 1: first Christmas home with my fiance, though he's been home

482
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 1: with me before. This year was special to me because

483
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,640
Speaker 1: Christmas is my favorite time of the year. It has

484
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 1: nothing to do with gifts, but everything to do with

485
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,439
Speaker 1: my very big, very loving family. Every year we go

486
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,679
Speaker 1: to my dad's for Christmas Eve, open presents with our

487
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,959
Speaker 1: immediate family, and then head to our cousins to eat, drink,

488
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 1: play games, and spend time together and be merry. Yeah,

489
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 1: we've got another person here who enjoys Christmas time to.

490
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 2: Riesmas Die is here.

491
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 1: Sophie loves the chees. This year I was kid free.

492
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,120
Speaker 1: My kiddos were with their dad, my ex husband. Even

493
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 1: without kids, it's a lot to plan and execute a

494
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 1: trip because I normally only get to stay for a

495
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,919
Speaker 1: day or two. After factoring in travel time and my

496
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 1: work schedule, I forgot my niece's presence back home. I

497
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 1: asked my brother if you could re send me her

498
00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 1: list so I could run to Target buy her gifts

499
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 1: to open and mail the rest. They ended up having

500
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 1: the exact same gifts except one, so I got everything

501
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 1: wrapped them up and headed to my dad's. I was

502
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 1: greeted by my younger brother, twenty five male, My dad

503
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,120
Speaker 1: and stepmom, and my older brother and niece showed up

504
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 1: right after me. D was nowhere to be found, and

505
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: my brother plain that her parents were in town and

506
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 1: staying at their house, so she stayed behind. To entertain

507
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: that my family is very welcoming and wouldn't have minded

508
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: having them, but her family is not shocking, shocking that

509
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: her family sucks in your family rocks. At my brother

510
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,360
Speaker 1: and sister in law's wedding, her family set up two

511
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,480
Speaker 1: tables to split the families, then had my brother and

512
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,840
Speaker 1: D sit with her family in seats that made their

513
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 1: backs face my family. They did not speak to us

514
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 1: the entire reception whack. We opened gifts, and my niece

515
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,360
Speaker 1: was glued to me, which was great because I don't

516
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: see her often and was missing my kids. We enjoyed

517
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,679
Speaker 1: the rest of the night and our trip. Six days later,

518
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: I received a text from my older brother stating that

519
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 1: I was the reason D didn't come to Christmas. Oh

520
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,719
Speaker 1: boo freakin' who, that I offended her and they no

521
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: longer wanted to be around my children or have me

522
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 1: around theirs.

523
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 2: Well, I don't want to be around D, so yeah, shut.

524
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 1: Ut DT on the shut up D. Yeah, literally shut

525
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 1: up D. Shut up D. Just shut up D. D.

526
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

527
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 1: See, now you're always Souny's family. I was very confused,

528
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 1: because I honestly don't care to talk to D at all,

529
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,680
Speaker 1: let alone converse about her. He explained that my little

530
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:12,320
Speaker 1: brother's girlfriend, Laura, who I'm very close with, brought up

531
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 1: the story of our altercation, and D was embarrassed and upset.

532
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 1: I called Laura and explained, and she explained that D

533
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,639
Speaker 1: was actually talking negatively about me to her. Laura simply

534
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 1: agreed that she knew we weren't very friendly and explained

535
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 1: she knew about the altercation, clarifying that my little brother

536
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 1: was actually the one who told her. I called my

537
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: brother and explained that I was not the one who

538
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 1: brought this up to Laura. I also didn't appreciate that

539
00:23:37,359 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 1: D was speaking negatively about me and was now upset

540
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,920
Speaker 1: because she didn't like something that was said about her.

541
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,439
Speaker 1: The difference was that she was talking about me in

542
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 1: the present while our situation happened in the past, something

543
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 1: my brother and I had already hashed out years ago.

544
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 1: I told him I didn't understand why D couldn't just

545
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,359
Speaker 1: talk to me herself. We are grown adults. We have

546
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,199
Speaker 1: been we have each other's contact numbers, and we have

547
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 1: been pretty cool RGIL for years now. I let him

548
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: know I would apologize, but I wasn't going to do

549
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:08,240
Speaker 1: that through a middleman, right because we're adults, not twelve

550
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: year olds in our first year of middle school, like

551
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: speak to each other.

552
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:13,720
Speaker 2: Like adults's your big boy pants.

553
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 1: A week went by and D never contacted me. I

554
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 1: did send her a text stating that I'd love to

555
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,119
Speaker 1: talk things out, but would prefer not to do it

556
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 1: over text because it's very impersonal. I told her if

557
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 1: she wanted to wait until I was back in town

558
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 1: at the end of the month, she could, or she

559
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 1: could call me. I got no response, and really, can

560
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,520
Speaker 1: I just say, like, how, why is why is her

561
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: brother staying with her?

562
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 2: I don't know. It seems like she's just thought of

563
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:37,240
Speaker 2: the worst.

564
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:38,439
Speaker 1: They have kids.

565
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fine.

566
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 1: Now it's February and I get a call from another

567
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: family member who had recently flown to our home state

568
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: to visit. She informed me that D and my brother

569
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: could do nothing but talk about me, my family, and

570
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: my children, and how horrible I was. My family is

571
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: not very fond of her and shut it down immediately.

572
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 1: At this point, I reached out again, reiterating that I

573
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: think this is a personal matter between her and I,

574
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: and I'd appreciate it if she would talk to me

575
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 1: instead of everyone else. I get a response two days later,

576
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 1: with paragraphs upon paragraphs. The first paragraphs stated how she

577
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 1: will not bite her tongue at the disrespect, and that

578
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 1: she knows I was just hoping she would get over

579
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 1: it because I haven't reached out to her. She literally

580
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 1: reached out to you, numbskull, What are we talking about?

581
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 2: Are you a dunch?

582
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: What are we doing?

583
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,439
Speaker 2: A little Dunce cat silly?

584
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: Are you late for your potty at the Dunce hat factory? Ooh,

585
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 1: where you're the number one customer constantly buying one every day.

586
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 2: Here's the Dunce hat factory on fire because you just

587
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:37,199
Speaker 2: got burned.

588
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 1: I just went to the Dunce hat factory, and everyone

589
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: there knew you. The second paragraph tells me how immature

590
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: I am and how tough I must feel that even

591
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: back then I wasn't protecting my brother from her and

592
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 1: that I created the cheating narrative in my head and

593
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:57,000
Speaker 1: must be projecting otherwise, how did my marriage fail? That's

594
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: how she said after finding out that I'm pregnant with

595
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 1: the daughter, she hopes for her sake, I don't go

596
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 1: through with it because I'll end up like my mother,

597
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: which again, I have three perfectly healthy, happy children that

598
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 1: I've raised pretty much on my own. And finally, she said,

599
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 1: I'm a pathological liar because I never sent my niece's

600
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 1: Christmas presents, which again, if you missed it, she opened

601
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,760
Speaker 1: the same exact ones on Christmas Eve, which she would

602
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 1: have known had she been there, and I hadn't sent

603
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 1: the other one that the store didn't have because I

604
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 1: had received the text from my brother cutting me off

605
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: from my niece. But also that I'm trying to manipulate

606
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 1: her through her daughter because I bought the most expensive

607
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: gifts on her Christmas List registry, which I do because

608
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 1: they have one child and have to buy for my three,

609
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 1: so it only seemed fair to spend a decent amount.

610
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 2: So she is giving gifts.

611
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: This person's trash and your brother's a fool. Yeah, And

612
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: I would just wait for the niece to get to

613
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: the age where she has autonomy, and then you can

614
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,479
Speaker 1: establish a relationship with her.

615
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 2: Deal with this terrible, terrible D character D list.

616
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,479
Speaker 1: Shut up D. By the way, if you want us

617
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 1: to shut up, too bad, because we have full episodes

618
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 1: with stories just like this, and we talk all about

619
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: it on iHeartRadio, on Spotify, on Apple podcasts, wherever you listen.

620
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,679
Speaker 1: Just search Okay storytime the name of this show, and

621
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 1: there you will find fifty consecutive days. That is twenty

622
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 1: four hours times fifty. That's how many hours worth of

623
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 1: stories we have for you to peruse. So chop, chop,

624
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 1: You've got a lot of catching up to do. We

625
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,919
Speaker 1: do have a little bit more story.

626
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 2: Let's go into it.

627
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: Let's just finish her off. At that point, ooh, my

628
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: gloves came off. I did tell her I will not

629
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: be responding to half of those comments. I told her

630
00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 1: that the word immature being thrown around so ironically here,

631
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 1: since she is in her mid thirties and can't have

632
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:47,479
Speaker 1: a conversation with me about something that's been upsetting her

633
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,119
Speaker 1: from twelve years ago. I let her know that I

634
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,919
Speaker 1: respect how supportive my brother is of his wife, but

635
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 1: I do not care for her and only apologized out

636
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 1: of my love for him. I also let her know

637
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 1: that it will be a blessing if she uses me

638
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: as an excuse not to come to family functions anymore,

639
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: because it won't bother me either way. I'll always be

640
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 1: welcomed because it is my family. And lastly, I listed

641
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,160
Speaker 1: all the friends and family that she has pissed off

642
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 1: and why and assured her ninety nine percent of them

643
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: would agree that out of the two of us, I'm

644
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 1: not the problem.

645
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,560
Speaker 2: I think they would agree. They'll probably gea. You're probably

646
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 2: gonna get award for making sure she doesn't come back.

647
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 1: Slam dump you said. By the way, whole family would

648
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 1: agree with me too. Boom it, come show you man,

649
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: and welcome to the gym.

650
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 2: But that is the end of that story.

651
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: That is the end of that story. Hey is John

652
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,720
Speaker 1: og host. We're gonna get back to the stories, but

653
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 1: a quick free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

654
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 2: My mother was given away as a child. Now her

655
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 2: biological family wants her to care for them.

656
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: Uh Goo goo Gta I.

657
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 2: Thirty five female, grew up in the US, born and

658
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 2: raised in Austin, Texas. My father's seventy male is Canadian

659
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 2: and my mother sixty eight female, is Greek. Every summer

660
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,239
Speaker 2: we vacationed in Greece with my maternal grandparents. So, by

661
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from throwas Out at ninety forty

662
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 2: two and if you want to submit your own stories,

663
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 2: go to our slashowy storytime Separate. So when I was

664
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 2: twenty five, my parents retired and moved permanently to Greece

665
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 2: after my mother inherited a house and a significant amount

666
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 2: of money from her mother when she passed away. That's

667
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 2: when things took a strange turn. During the last few

668
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: months of my grandmother's life, my mom went to Greece

669
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: to care for her as she was no longer able

670
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 2: to care for herself. In her final days, my grandmother

671
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 2: revealed a shocking secret. My mom was adopted. Ah She

672
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 2: wasn't the biological child of the parents who raised her.

673
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 2: Thank you for finding adopted. Instead, she was the daughter

674
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 2: of my grandmother's cousin. Apparently, in Greece decades ago, it

675
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: was common for struggling families with many children to give

676
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 2: a baby to a relative who couldn't have kids. My

677
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 2: mother was devastated. She grieved the fact that she never

678
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 2: knew her real family and that no one ever told her.

679
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,440
Speaker 2: After my grandmother passed, she decided to move to Greece

680
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 2: to reconnect with the biological family she never met. She

681
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 2: traveled to the re where her biological mother lived and

682
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 2: met her for the first time, along with two older

683
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 2: brothers and a younger sister. Her oldest brother was especially

684
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 2: emotional because he vaguely remembered the day they gave my

685
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 2: mother away as a baby. But from the start, my

686
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 2: mom was hurt that none of them had ever tried

687
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 2: to find her, but her excuse was that she had

688
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 2: moved to the US and it was difficult to track

689
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 2: her down, while her biological mother said she had made

690
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 2: a pact with her cousin, my adoptive grandmother never to

691
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 2: reveal the truth. The entire village had been told that

692
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 2: my mom had passed away as a baby, so no

693
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 2: one even questioned it.

694
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 1: What is the why? Why? I don't I'd rather tell

695
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,040
Speaker 1: them all that they'd no longer alive, instead of just

696
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 1: being like, we couldn't afford to have the baby, so

697
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 1: we had to give it.

698
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 2: Away, and we just like never told anyone.

699
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 1: That's kind of pathetic.

700
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:46,239
Speaker 2: Not gonna lie like, I mean, I understand, own it,

701
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 2: just like tell her, yeah, own your position.

702
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 1: Own it.

703
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 2: For the past ten years, my parents have lived in

704
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 2: Greece and my mom has built a close relationship with

705
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 2: her siblings. However, her relationship with her biological mother has

706
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 2: remained distant and formal. I mean, of course, this person

707
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 2: kept I mean told her adoptive grandmother to keep this

708
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 2: live from or you know, keep the truth from her

709
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 2: for her whole life, and also gave her away. So

710
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 2: obviously that's gonna be a complicated relationship. She never got

711
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 2: over the fact that this woman kept all her other

712
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 2: children but gave her away, likely because she was a girl.

713
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 2: At the time, boys were valued more because they worked

714
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,440
Speaker 2: the fields and contributed to the family's income, whereas girls

715
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 2: were seen as a burden. Two years ago, I was

716
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 2: able to move to Greece as well, since the parents

717
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 2: who raised my mom left her a sizable inheritance. It

718
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 2: allowed us to live comfortably, and honestly, I preferred the

719
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 2: lifestyle here. We live in a beautiful place near the capitol,

720
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 2: and life is peaceful. Now here's the issue. My mom's

721
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 2: biological mother is now ninety six years old and in

722
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 2: very poor health. Her biological father passed away decades ago

723
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 2: due to political circumstances or two older brothers. Her sister

724
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 2: lives abroad have been taking care of their mother, but

725
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 2: they are exhausted. Their wives are complaining. Tensions are rising,

726
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 2: and at a recent family gathering, they told my mom

727
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 2: that she it also help take care of their mother

728
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 2: because it's unfair that they are doing it alone. To

729
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: what she should say, Well, it was unfair that she

730
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 2: gave me away, so.

731
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's more unfair being given away when you're a

732
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 1: baby bummer?

733
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 2: Hmm?

734
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 1: Oh, so you find me when you need something from me,

735
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 1: that's convenient.

736
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 2: My father was furious when he heard this and told

737
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 2: my mother to cut them off entirely. My mom refuses

738
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,000
Speaker 2: to take care of this woman. She doesn't love her,

739
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 2: doesn't feel any emotional connection to her, and can't forgive

740
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 2: her for abandoning her. My mom is not close to

741
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 2: this woman, and of course she has no legal claim

742
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 2: to Annie inheritance from this family. However, she has truly

743
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 2: enjoyed her relationship with her siblings and their children and

744
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,479
Speaker 2: doesn't want to lose that. She's feeling pressured, though, and

745
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 2: she's deeply upset. By their demands. When I found out,

746
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 2: I was livid. How dare these people ask this of

747
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 2: my mother, knowing full well that she was abandoned and

748
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 2: that no one ever attempted to find her. I feel

749
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 2: like they're manipulating her, and she's unable to see how

750
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 2: unfair this is. I'm getting married in a month to

751
00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 2: my fiance, who's Greek and fully supportive of me, and

752
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 2: I am seriously considering uninviting all of them from the wedding.

753
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 2: I want to send a clear message that we don't

754
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 2: want contact with them anymore. However, my mother is hesitant.

755
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 2: She doesn't want to escalate things, even though she's hurting.

756
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 2: I feel like she's not as attached to these people

757
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 2: as she thinks. She's mourning the idea of the family

758
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 2: she never had, rather than truly loving these people, and

759
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 2: I hate seeing her being taken advantage of. I always

760
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 2: idealized Greece and the strong bonds of family, but now

761
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 2: I see that's not always the case. I'm so disappointed

762
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 2: by all of this. What would you do in this situation?

763
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: Would you cut them off? Would you disinvite them from

764
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 2: the wedding? How can I help my mother navigate this

765
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 2: and edit, I forgot to mention something I think is important.

766
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 2: My mom suggested they find a senior care facility to

767
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 2: put her biological mother in. She even offered to pay

768
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 2: a quart of the price. My biological uncles were offended

769
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 2: because they said it was disrespectful to put their mother

770
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 2: in a nursing home another Greek thing, although they are

771
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 2: generally financially comfortable, A quarter for a good structure can

772
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 2: mean four hundred to five hundred per person per month,

773
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 2: which by Greek standards is enough. I think their idea

774
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 2: of help is taking her biological mother home for a

775
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 2: few months. And there are some comments and an update,

776
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 2: but I no, no, your mother should not be helped. Honestly,

777
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 2: should not help them kind of at all. They don't

778
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 2: even deserve her money, Like it's it's incredibly kind that

779
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 2: she's even offering that. I also don't think they deserved

780
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 2: come the wedding anymore.

781
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: She's a really hard situation to navigate for the mom.

782
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,160
Speaker 2: Absolutely, this is a family that she didn't know about

783
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 2: for her whal life, finds out about, reaches out to,

784
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,840
Speaker 2: thinks that she's gained this you know, whole new side,

785
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 2: and now they're trying to exploit.

786
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:39,359
Speaker 1: Her, manipulating her, you know, because they know that she

787
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: has now found this thing that she didn't have. But

788
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 1: you can't give these people any money for the woman

789
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: who abandoned you. Yeah, and I don't think that you'll

790
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:52,880
Speaker 1: be able to maintain a real relationship with them because

791
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 1: it's always going to come back to this thing of like, well,

792
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 1: you didn't help us, you didn't help our mom. But

793
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,399
Speaker 1: it's like, it's not our mom, it's your mom I had.

794
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 1: That's not my mom, it's your mom exactly. So you're

795
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: probably gonna have to come to terms with losing that.

796
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: Yeahn me hard, but there are some comments. Mermaids Studios says,

797
00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 1: your mom doesn't owe her anything and her siblings are

798
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: being unfair. Cutting them off completely might be extreme if

799
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 1: she still values the relationship, but she should set firm

800
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 1: boundaries for the wedding. If their presence would stress you

801
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 1: or your mom out, uninvite them.

802
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 2: If you'd rather keep things neutral, that's fine too. Do

803
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 2: what feels right for you both. Maybe. Shari says, likely

804
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:26,920
Speaker 2: the sons are tired of taking care of mom, and

805
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,839
Speaker 2: I'm betting their wives are complaining. The most wives are

806
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,479
Speaker 2: what is this new daughter doing she should help? Heaven

807
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 2: only knows how much help they think your mom should do.

808
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 2: It is slippery slope with no good outcome. Creating distance

809
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 2: and firm boundaries between your mom and new siblings is best.

810
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 2: And Opie responds, that's my thought exactly. I am having

811
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 2: second thoughts, and surely some comments gave me some perspective,

812
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 2: but that's my main thought. And there is an update,

813
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 2: so we're to jump right into that because I think

814
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 2: we're all on the same page about this family update. Hey, y'all,

815
00:35:56,960 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 2: I've decided to share it with my mom the post

816
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 2: and let her read your comments. She was really moved

817
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: by the similar stories some of you shared. This led

818
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,399
Speaker 2: to a deep conversation between us. Over the past few years,

819
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 2: my mom has learned a lot about her adoption. Unfortunately,

820
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,920
Speaker 2: my Biograndma was not a good person. It doesn't seem

821
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 2: like she was the wife of one of my bio uncles,

822
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:17,640
Speaker 2: let's call her. Maria, sat my mom down a few

823
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 2: years ago and told her everything. Turns out my biograndma

824
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 2: was a very strict and spiteful woman who treated the

825
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 2: people who worked for her horribly. She never wanted daughters

826
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,880
Speaker 2: and even tried to give away her other daughter, but

827
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 2: that adoption fell through, so she kept her.

828
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,960
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Oh this.

829
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 2: Person is a nightmare. My bioaunt went through a really

830
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 2: tough time growing up and that's why she moved abroad.

831
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 2: Her brothers never supported her the way they should have,

832
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: and they even cheated her out of part of her inheritance.

833
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 2: So the brother's also. Maria is now thinking about leaving

834
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 2: her husband since their kids are grown and she doesn't

835
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 2: want to stay married to a man she knows isn't

836
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 2: a good person. As for my mom, she never fell

837
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 2: to bond with her biomother, but after hearing everything from Maria,

838
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 2: she decided she doesn't want much contact at all. She

839
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 2: knows exactly what kind of people her bio brothers are

840
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 2: and never wanted a super close relationship with them. They're

841
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 2: not in daily contact anyway, but she does feel attached

842
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,160
Speaker 2: to her nieces, nephews and their wives. That's the main

843
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 2: reason she hasn't cut ties completely. My mom has decided

844
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 2: she will help financially, but won't take Biogradma into her home.

845
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 2: I mean, again, that is already going way above and beyond.

846
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 1: Don't take this little demon woman into your home. I

847
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: mean she's not I'll do that.

848
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 2: She's definitely not. She's just giving her money, which is

849
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 2: a lot. She's doing it mainly to support her bios sister,

850
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 2: who is under pressure from their brothers to care for

851
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 2: their mother. My mom has tried to get closer to

852
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 2: her biosister over the years, but her sister has kept

853
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 2: her distance. She explained that she has deep trauma from

854
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 2: growing up with her mother and wants to maintain some

855
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 2: emotional space, but she's still happy they met. This past Christmas,

856
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 2: my bioaunt came to Greece and stayed at her house.

857
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,840
Speaker 2: I wasn't there because I was visiting friends in the Netherlands,

858
00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 2: but my mom and her sister spent time together and

859
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 2: it brought them closer. My aunt told my mom to

860
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 2: cut off her brothers completely and even invited her to

861
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 2: move to her country.

862
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: Wow.

863
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 2: She has made it clear she wants only a formal

864
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 2: relationship with the rest of the family, except for my Mom,

865
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 2: who she loves dearly. Side note for the skeptics, my

866
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:09,280
Speaker 2: aunt is financially independent and comfortable. She has never asked

867
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: my Mom or anyone else or anything. I think that's

868
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 2: the way to go. Stick with the family member who's

869
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 2: actually like cool and like doesn't want to take your money.

870
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: What a crazy notion that would be.

871
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 2: I had no idea about most of this because my

872
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 2: mom doesn't want me to see my uncle's in a

873
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 2: bad light. She still thinks she'll keep some minimal relationship

874
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 2: with them, but she's especially close with a few of

875
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 2: her nieces and nephews and doesn't want to lose that.

876
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 2: One of my cousins, Maria's son, even confided in my

877
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 2: mom that he wants to cut ties with his father.

878
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 2: When my bio uncle asked my mom for help, this cousin,

879
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 2: who's only twenty five, pulled her aside and told her

880
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 2: to stay away and not give them anything because they

881
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 2: don't deserve it. That really got to me. It showed

882
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 2: me that not everyone in this family is selfish or manipulative.

883
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 2: I actually have a good relationship with this cousin. He

884
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,680
Speaker 2: gets along great with my fiance since they work in

885
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 2: the same field. After learning all this, I met up

886
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:58,439
Speaker 2: with him last night and we talked. He has moved

887
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 2: out on his own, but still keeps some contact with

888
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 2: his dad, mainly because he wants to wait until Maria

889
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 2: leaves before cutting ties completely. He told me that his

890
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 2: father and uncle inherited a lot of wealth and never

891
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 2: really yet to work. They started some businesses, but when

892
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 2: they struggled, they took large sums of money from Biograndma

893
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 2: and other relatives. Now they're recovered and live comfortably, but

894
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 2: they never paid back what they owed. My cousin is

895
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,840
Speaker 2: ashamed of his family's actions and doesn't want to be

896
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 2: judged for them. He also believes they're trying to financially

897
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 2: exploit my mom. Because he cares about her and really

898
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,320
Speaker 2: respects my parents, he warned them not to get involved.

899
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 2: I mean, they're clearly trying to financially exploit her if

900
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 2: they have the money to take care of the mom

901
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,240
Speaker 2: and they're coming to OPI and be trying to guilt

902
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:38,719
Speaker 2: her into this.

903
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 1: Where do these where do they build these people? Like

904
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 1: in a laboratory out of like just evil evil laboratory arts.

905
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of a Frankenstein Frankenstein's lab situation. After everything,

906
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,879
Speaker 2: my parents and I made a decision. My mom will

907
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 2: give one lump sum of money for her biomother's care,

908
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 2: whether they put her in a nursing home or hire

909
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 2: a caregiver is their problem. She will also have a

910
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 2: final talk with her brothers to make it clear that

911
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 2: she is not taking care of their mother because that

912
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 2: woman was never a mother to her. When Maria managed

913
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:08,799
Speaker 2: to get divorced, which my parents want to support her through,

914
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,280
Speaker 2: we expect the relationship with the brothers to fall apart.

915
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 2: My mom is still sad that she never found the

916
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 2: ideal families she imagined, but she feels lucky to have

917
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 2: her sister, Maria and her nephew, whom she truly loves.

918
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 2: As for the wedding, we decided to invite them to

919
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 2: avoid unnecessary drama. That's the update for now. I truly

920
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 2: appreciate all the comments and support. I feel sorry for

921
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 2: those who have gone through similar painful experiences and I

922
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 2: hope no one has to go through this again. And ps.

923
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 2: Someone in the comments, probably a Greek, suggested that my

924
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 2: biograndpa might have passed away for political reasons because he

925
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:44,879
Speaker 2: was fighting against the Yatzis. Unfortunately it was the exact opposite.

926
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,919
Speaker 2: My biograndparents were right wing extremists at a time when

927
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,880
Speaker 2: the left right conflict in Greece led to suffering and

928
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 2: a lot of their wealth came from unethical means. Okay,

929
00:40:55,120 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 2: so your biograndma and grandpa are terrible people confirmed.

930
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 1: Thank god, odd you got given away.

931
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 2: The terrible people confirmed. It seems like I mean, obviously,

932
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: I'm sure that your mom had a very you know,

933
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 2: that's just like a lot of trauma to learn. Seems

934
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 2: like she kind of came out on top here.

935
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And don't give any of these any money. No,

936
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: you're not. Don't give them moneyppes.

937
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,759
Speaker 2: But you can give us your time by listening to

938
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,080
Speaker 2: full episodes with stories just like this. Just go to

939
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,839
Speaker 2: Apple Podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast app in search

940
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,920
Speaker 2: of time. But there is a little bit left. Sometimes

941
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 2: sometimes the truth.

942
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,439
Speaker 1: Shall set you free, and it just took a little

943
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,440
Speaker 1: bit to get there. Yeah. First you thought the truth

944
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: was I missed out on having a family. Then you

945
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,600
Speaker 1: learn that the truth is that you didn't have to

946
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: deal with a bunch of Nazi s.

947
00:41:45,719 --> 00:41:53,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was saying, that's funny. Yeah, but there's a

948
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 2: little bit left. Lastly, I feel terrible, forever doubting my grandparents,

949
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,640
Speaker 2: the one who actually raised my mom. They were amazing,

950
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 2: kind and compassionate people who help so many others in

951
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 2: the us. Everything they had was earned through hard work.

952
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful they adopted my mom and I wish

953
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 2: they had also taken in my aunt. Thank you again everyone.

954
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,919
Speaker 2: If I have another update, I will be back. And

955
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story. Honestly, to your

956
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 2: mom's comment about you know, wishing she had that family,

957
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 2: she does. She has that family you know in your

958
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 2: adoptive grandparents.

959
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, But that is.

960
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 2: The end of that story.

961
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: My family excluded me and my wife from the family trip,

962
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 1: so we went on a vacation of our own.

963
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 2: Oh little little toe to toe, who's gonna have the

964
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,760
Speaker 2: better vacation background.

965
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:43,319
Speaker 1: My family has always been well off, and by that

966
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 1: I mean like we would take family vacations two or

967
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 1: three times per year. It's still like that now, but

968
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: I've noticed a difference in how my family acts now

969
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: that my female twenty seven wife female twenty four, and

970
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: I are married. By the way, this comes from user

971
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 1: a water Place and if you want to submit your

972
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subredd it. So,

973
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 1: about three weeks ago, my dad booked a trip to Italy.

974
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: Everyone was excited and the family group chat was lit

975
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: up for days. Following the announcement, I called my dad

976
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 1: and talked to him for a while, and eventually I

977
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 1: thanked him for including my wife, who'd always felt left out.

978
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,360
Speaker 1: There was a slight pause, and he told me that

979
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 1: he booked the rest of the available seats on that

980
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 1: particular flight, and there was only enough for him, my mother, grandparents,

981
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: my sister and her husband.

982
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 2: And me. So to try to exclude Op's partner.

983
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 1: Trying to exclude your wife because she's your wife and

984
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 1: that's when you're her wife, and they don't like that,

985
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 1: and they don't like wives. They don't like you being

986
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: both wives.

987
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:38,360
Speaker 2: They don't like.

988
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: Wife squared wives because they're squares squares. So he booked

989
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,760
Speaker 1: the flights without even taking my wife into consideration. Now,

990
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: I know what a lot of people would think, that

991
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 1: it was just a mistake, but I don't think so,

992
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 1: given the fact that my wife has been excluded in

993
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: other ways before, and if it were a mistake, he'd

994
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 1: do everything he could to change it. Before even announcing

995
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: the vacation, my heart sunk. I looked at my wife,

996
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,279
Speaker 1: who could tell something was off, and I told my

997
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 1: dad to just give my seat to someone else, because

998
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 1: if she wasn't included. I wasn't going, yeah, thank you,

999
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 1: come see more partners like that.

1000
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 2: No, we read all We always read stories where they're like, well,

1001
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 2: they told me you couldn't come, So I guess that's it. No,

1002
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 2: stand on business. If you're gonna marry and or be

1003
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:24,319
Speaker 2: in a long term relationship with someone, defends them.

1004
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: Stand on your business, make your partner your business, make

1005
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 1: your partner your business. Stand on your partner, stand on business,

1006
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 1: Stand on your partner, and start a business.

1007
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 2: There you go.

1008
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 1: In the past, I was able to include my wife myself,

1009
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,879
Speaker 1: but I was tired of us being singled out. They

1010
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:38,879
Speaker 1: never did that to my sister and her husband. They've

1011
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: always included them as a couple. But when it comes

1012
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,200
Speaker 1: to my wife and I, we've always had to figure

1013
00:44:43,239 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: out our own way into the mix, as if we

1014
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: weren't to be taken seriously, I'm not doing that now,

1015
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,800
Speaker 1: and I drew a hard line in the sand this time.

1016
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 1: This man had the audacity to say that her and

1017
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 1: I could book our own flight and just you.

1018
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 2: Know, meet them there, or maybe we could go somewhere else.

1019
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 2: Book flight that goes in the opposite direction to where

1020
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 2: you are.

1021
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 1: Yes, let us know exactly where you're ats so we

1022
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: can be on the opposite side of the earth. I

1023
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,399
Speaker 1: don't even want to be near you. I just told them,

1024
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 1: absolutely not, and then hung up. Needless to say, my

1025
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: wife was in tears. She was upset, but she was

1026
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: glad that I was sticking by her. A couple of

1027
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,399
Speaker 1: days went by and we decided to go on our

1028
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 1: own vacation to a much humbler location, a large rental

1029
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: cabin with her family. We are all down right amazing,

1030
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:30,680
Speaker 1: well lovely. Yeah, I'm happy about that. It's happy about

1031
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 1: going to the cabin, A little bit little cabin in the.

1032
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,640
Speaker 2: Cabin, action with the with the in laws, you like,

1033
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,640
Speaker 2: nothing wrong with that anyway.

1034
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 1: Well, my family found out and they have not stopped

1035
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: blowing up my phone. Why do they care all the sudden.

1036
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 2: They're jealous of the cabin. They know it's gonna be cool.

1037
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:50,360
Speaker 1: And the cabin was Yeah, I want to be a cabin.

1038
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 1: My mom called me one night during all this and

1039
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: said that I was being unreasonable and that there's no

1040
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 1: way I couldn't just book a separate flight and instead

1041
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 1: booking intirely different vacation with her family. I explained to

1042
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 1: her that that wasn't the point. That the point was

1043
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: that they have excluded my wife from every family related

1044
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: event ever since we got married, which always put me

1045
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:12,359
Speaker 1: in the position to fix it. My mom basically called

1046
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,720
Speaker 1: me crazy and that I was overthinking a simple mistake

1047
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 1: on my dad's part. For some reason. I'm starting to

1048
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: think that maybe I'm overthinking it, and then I should

1049
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 1: just talk with my dad to see if excluding my

1050
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: wife was intentional, which was another point my mom brought up.

1051
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,360
Speaker 1: Am I the a hole? There's an edit here? I

1052
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: guess it's not a bad idea, but your gut's already

1053
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 1: telling you. I'm you already know that they're excluding you

1054
00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 1: because you are not a heteronormative like relationship clearly.

1055
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 2: And also, if it was just a mistake, then he

1056
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 2: could have fixed it, you know, like, if it was

1057
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 2: a mistake, he would have said, hey, we got tickets

1058
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 2: for everyone, and then you would have said, oh, not

1059
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 2: my wife, and that he would have said, oh, my god, right,

1060
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:45,439
Speaker 2: I need to get tickets right now.

1061
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 1: There's an edit here. Thank you so much for the

1062
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 1: overwhelming support. We went to bed and then woke up

1063
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 1: to almost two hundred notifications. That's crazy. My wife and

1064
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: I sat down a couple of hours ago and had

1065
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:58,919
Speaker 1: a discussion about what our next steps should be. We've

1066
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 1: both agreed that we were going to have a family

1067
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,879
Speaker 1: meeting with my family this Monday and confront them head

1068
00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 1: on do it. We seal that this is the best

1069
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 1: way to handle the situation, and we honestly just need

1070
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 1: answers directly from them. As for the comments, a lot

1071
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 1: of you brought up gas lighting and how it causes

1072
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 1: rifts in families, so we're going to learn a little

1073
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,320
Speaker 1: bit more about it to protect ourselves. I made a

1074
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 1: vow to my wife when we got married that I'd

1075
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 1: put her first and make her my priority, and I'm

1076
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 1: sticking to it again. Thank you so much for all

1077
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 1: your support, and hopefully I can make an update post

1078
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:31,480
Speaker 1: to fill you guys in on everything. Greatest wishes. There's

1079
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,400
Speaker 1: a comment here, let's come in comment everyone. You're in

1080
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,360
Speaker 1: the queer community. You know this is intentional, but let's

1081
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:38,760
Speaker 1: just say this, one time your father made an honest

1082
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,360
Speaker 1: mistake and that wasn't his intention. Based on your family's

1083
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:43,520
Speaker 1: history on excluding your wife, you have every right to

1084
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:45,839
Speaker 1: assume call them out and if need be, go low

1085
00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 1: contact I know it's hurtful, but your presence in the

1086
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 1: family is an ultimate bargaining chip. If they are still crappy,

1087
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 1: then you can put them on probation till they improve,

1088
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: and there's an update. Let's just go ahead and oh

1089
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:01,359
Speaker 1: die did right in, swim right through.

1090
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:02,239
Speaker 2: I think that's a good idea.

1091
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 1: First off, thank you all for the positivity. It's been

1092
00:48:05,360 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 1: amazing seeing so much support. We didn't post an update

1093
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 1: yesterday since it was Valentine's Day, so we're posting it today.

1094
00:48:11,960 --> 00:48:14,320
Speaker 1: We had a family meeting at our house on Monday,

1095
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 1: and it was interesting. I started with reminding my dad

1096
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 1: what he did, how it matched up to all the

1097
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: other times, how it made her and I feel, and

1098
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 1: how his and my mom's reactions made us feel. I

1099
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 1: told him that my wife is my everything and what

1100
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,840
Speaker 1: we do we do together. Our marriage is just as valid.

1101
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: You either want us in your life or you don't,

1102
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 1: and lately your actions have told us the latter. Then

1103
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,920
Speaker 1: I brought up gaslighting. We did some digging the previous night,

1104
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 1: watching videos and read articles to better understand it. I

1105
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 1: explained to them what it was, how they did it,

1106
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 1: and how it made us feel. My conclusion was my

1107
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 1: reasoning for planning this separate vacation with my wife's family.

1108
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: My sister started crying. She apologized for not saying anything

1109
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,759
Speaker 1: and not paying attention. Her husband was upset as well.

1110
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,840
Speaker 1: My sister said, you have to book a different fight, Dad,

1111
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 1: to which I pointed out that it was too late.

1112
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,640
Speaker 1: Our vacation was already booked and we couldn't bail on it.

1113
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 1: My sister said, well then we're not going to Italy.

1114
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:09,480
Speaker 1: Then you too, Mom and dad can go, but we're not.

1115
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:12,280
Speaker 1: I feel horrible now. Q in argument between my parents

1116
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 1: and my sister.

1117
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 2: I feel like this is just kind of making it betterself.

1118
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 1: Sisters like, I feel bad.

1119
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:19,719
Speaker 2: I feel this makes me feel bad because you're not

1120
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 2: going hot. It's like, no, be like you know what, hey,

1121
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:25,160
Speaker 2: I'll support you.

1122
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:25,560
Speaker 1: I don't.

1123
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 2: I'm not going to go either. This is not fair

1124
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 2: to you.

1125
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd like, I really know.

1126
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 2: It makes me sad, shut out and go to Italy

1127
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:33,840
Speaker 2: at you. I'm sad.

1128
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,799
Speaker 1: It's like, no, be sad that our parents are are

1129
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 1: bigoting my wife.

1130
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 2: Dude, what are we doing getting her?

1131
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 1: My wife and I sat there with our mouths hung

1132
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 1: open until my sister and her husband got up and left.

1133
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:46,840
Speaker 1: My suspicions were right. The reason why my wife and

1134
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 1: I were being treated unfairly was because of inheritance fears.

1135
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:53,760
Speaker 2: What they didn't want to give you an inheritance because

1136
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:55,840
Speaker 2: what that doesn't make any sense?

1137
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 1: Is it because of your wife?

1138
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,840
Speaker 2: I'm so confused, Like, is the point that they're being

1139
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 2: grant that?

1140
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 1: I think it's yes, I think it's both being old and.

1141
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:05,480
Speaker 2: Also they're like, oh, you don't have any you're not

1142
00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,000
Speaker 2: gonna have any kids. And also that's just an assumption too.

1143
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 1: I've got I've got the next sentence.

1144
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, perfect.

1145
00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: Their explanation was that they didn't want inheritance quote getting

1146
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 1: into the wrong hands, so they wanted to dote on

1147
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,320
Speaker 1: my sister and her husband to ensure that it won't.

1148
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 1: Their actual words, that's right, they confirmed everything because they

1149
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,279
Speaker 1: basically said, yes, we treat your sister and her husband better,

1150
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 1: and we're driving it home with the inheritance. It sounds

1151
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:33,919
Speaker 1: like they don't want their inheritance going to people who

1152
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 1: are not heteronormative.

1153
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,399
Speaker 2: Wow, they And that's I think it's time to maybe

1154
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 2: like go very very low to no contact.

1155
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: With Yeah, I would go I would just like give

1156
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,719
Speaker 1: them one fart and say goodbye forever. Oh, that's that's

1157
00:50:47,760 --> 00:50:49,680
Speaker 1: what I think of you. Peace out. It ended with

1158
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:52,759
Speaker 1: my parents leaving angry, not at their actions but the

1159
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,200
Speaker 1: fact that they were getting called out. From this point on,

1160
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 1: we will be going low contact with my parents and

1161
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 1: maybe try to amend things between my sister and her husband.

1162
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 1: We will not attend gatherings or events. If one or

1163
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 1: both of us feel excluded, we will demand that we

1164
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 1: be treated just as seriously. We now know our boundaries

1165
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 1: and we will set them. And by the way, you

1166
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 1: can set your earbuds into your ears and then listen

1167
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 1: to full episodes with stories like this. All you have

1168
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: to do is go to iHeartRadio or Spotify or Apple

1169
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 1: podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts and searched. Okay,

1170
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 1: story time, and that's all you gotta do, easy peasy.

1171
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:33,239
Speaker 2: But to this story, you gotta cut them off. They

1172
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:37,000
Speaker 2: freaking stink, They're stinky, and they don't care about you

1173
00:51:37,120 --> 00:51:37,760
Speaker 2: or your partner.

1174
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 1: It was a very heartbreaking experience and we were disgusted

1175
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 1: at the whole thing, and we still are right now.

1176
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 1: We just have to take this time to move forward.

1177
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 1: I doubt we'll be able to make any more updates

1178
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:51,040
Speaker 1: beyond this, but again, we wanted to thank you all

1179
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:54,279
Speaker 1: for the advice, love and support. We truly appreciate it.

1180
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,239
Speaker 1: This was a throwaway, but I think I'm gonna keep

1181
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,839
Speaker 1: this account up, but just not save the login info.

1182
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 1: What a quirky guy. Thank you so so much and

1183
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: the best wishes. We got some comments. Until the inheritance

1184
00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 1: comes up, I doubt they'll split it equally, if not

1185
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 1: to be queathed. I've seen the worst of people surrounding inheritances,

1186
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:12,479
Speaker 1: tossing family under the bus. Reply. Op says she doesn't

1187
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 1: need it anyway, while her sister does, so it wouldn't

1188
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 1: be the end of the world if it was uneven split,

1189
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 1: but it'd better at least acknowledge Op properly. I mean,

1190
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:22,600
Speaker 1: like no, because if my parents like don't like me

1191
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 1: or my wife just being the way that we are,

1192
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:26,680
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna be like, I don't want your stinking

1193
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 1: you don't want money.

1194
00:52:27,880 --> 00:52:30,359
Speaker 2: I mean, if you are comfortable enough to like not

1195
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 2: need it, then I would not want to be indebted

1196
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:34,879
Speaker 2: to them at all.

1197
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:36,880
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1198
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

1199
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 2: My brother tried to exclude me from Christmas dinner, so

1200
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,360
Speaker 2: I said, I won't attend.

1201
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 1: To try to exclude me. I'll exclude myself.

1202
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 2: Guess who's freaking getting cold for Christmas?

1203
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 1: You?

1204
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,560
Speaker 2: My family has always spent the Christmas together at our parents.

1205
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:54,919
Speaker 2: Last year was the first year we spent it at

1206
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,759
Speaker 2: my brother's twenties and his wife twenties. Due to it

1207
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 2: being the first time, they were understandably very stressed and

1208
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 2: had troubles getting things together, especially taking into account my

1209
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:06,799
Speaker 2: dietary restrictions. By the way, this comes from Flat three

1210
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:08,760
Speaker 2: one one and if you want to submit your own stories,

1211
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 2: go to our slash jokey story to him subpured it.

1212
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 2: So last year I female twenties, didn't live in the

1213
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 2: same city as them, so I couldn't really help with

1214
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 2: the preparations, but this year I do since I'm a student.

1215
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 2: The money is tight, but my brother and sister in

1216
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:25,399
Speaker 2: law earn extremely well, even compared to our parents. When

1217
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 2: we spent the Christmas at our parents, we didn't have

1218
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 2: to contribute financially towards the feast, but this year the

1219
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 2: cost are shared by our parents and them as I

1220
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:36,360
Speaker 2: can't afford it. My compensation is the organization and cooking

1221
00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 2: the feast, as none of them enjoy such things. This

1222
00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 2: is not a small task, since I'll have to start

1223
00:53:41,320 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 2: the preparations days before Christmas and do everything on my own.

1224
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:49,080
Speaker 2: That's crazy that they're making you. Cooking is arguably the

1225
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 2: easy I mean, the hardest part. Like just buying the

1226
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,399
Speaker 2: things is like the easiest thing.

1227
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 1: I was about to correct you so much.

1228
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:57,280
Speaker 2: I just misspoke.

1229
00:53:57,719 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 1: Cookies arguably the no that I'm like, that's what is

1230
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:01,239
Speaker 1: good at it.

1231
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,000
Speaker 2: No, No, cookies are like it's definitely the hardest part.

1232
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 1: It's so rough learning to cook, dude. I used to

1233
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 1: mess up noodles every time. I used to used to

1234
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:16,160
Speaker 1: used to.

1235
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 2: You, this is not a small task, since I'll have

1236
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:18,680
Speaker 2: to start the preparations days before Christmas and do everything

1237
00:54:18,719 --> 00:54:20,920
Speaker 2: on my own. However, since I'm not the one paying

1238
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:23,319
Speaker 2: for the meal, I have shared my plans weeks ago

1239
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,319
Speaker 2: with all of them and they have agreed on the menu.

1240
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:27,799
Speaker 2: A couple of days ago, I sat down and calculated

1241
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,799
Speaker 2: how much all of this would cost and sent the

1242
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:32,640
Speaker 2: info to my family. This did not go down well

1243
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:36,240
Speaker 2: with my brother. He is extremely frugal, which is fine

1244
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 2: on all, but the cost of the feast is the

1245
00:54:38,440 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 2: same as it has been every year. Mind you, it

1246
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 2: is nothing crazy, honestlye it costs more than a regular

1247
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,839
Speaker 2: everyday meal. I said, fine, we can cut something back

1248
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 2: if he wants, and asked what he wanted to give up.

1249
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:50,680
Speaker 2: He chose the one thing I wanted to make for

1250
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,840
Speaker 2: myself as a treat, since almost everything else is something

1251
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:55,879
Speaker 2: I can't eat, but the rest of them can't eat

1252
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,719
Speaker 2: all of it. I said, okay, anything else, but he

1253
00:54:58,719 --> 00:55:01,160
Speaker 2: didn't want to give up anything something else. I asked

1254
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 2: him if he was serious that my dish would be

1255
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 2: the only one we would get rid of, and not

1256
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:07,839
Speaker 2: one of their multiple sides. I don't want to eat

1257
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:10,799
Speaker 2: only potatoes and salad. His response was that it's all

1258
00:55:10,880 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 2: so expensive, and since it's something that most of us

1259
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 2: wouldn't eat, it doesn't make sense to make it. My

1260
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 2: brother pulled the same move last year, and my mother

1261
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:20,480
Speaker 2: put her foot down and forced my brother to include me.

1262
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 2: Since then, he has constantly told us how we are

1263
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:26,760
Speaker 2: so emotional and stir up unnecessary drama. So to his opinion,

1264
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:29,320
Speaker 2: I said, that's fine. I'll just not attend and spend

1265
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:32,720
Speaker 2: the Christmas by myself since I can't afford to pay

1266
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:36,440
Speaker 2: for the dish. Since I already prove I did to

1267
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:39,879
Speaker 2: my man, my brother got mad and said that it's

1268
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 2: not what he meant. I replied that this would be

1269
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,280
Speaker 2: the most elegant solution to the problem, since the feast

1270
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 2: would be cheaper and I wouldn't have to work so

1271
00:55:46,160 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 2: hard for a meal I can't eat, and this would

1272
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 2: have the added bonus of not causing too much drama

1273
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 2: since I do so voluntarily. I know I'm probably an

1274
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:56,360
Speaker 2: a hole just for this. He got super mad at me,

1275
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:58,680
Speaker 2: while my mom got mad at him and decided to

1276
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 2: spend the Christmas at my place. But now everyone is

1277
00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 2: mad at everyone. But honestly, I'm mainly just sad and

1278
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,760
Speaker 2: feel like I ruined everyone's Christmas? Am I the a hole?

1279
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:07,080
Speaker 1: No?

1280
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 2: I mean there is more to this story. There's an

1281
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:12,320
Speaker 2: addit too, I don't think so. I think you just said.

1282
00:56:12,480 --> 00:56:14,120
Speaker 2: I mean he was supposed to pay for it, and

1283
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 2: he couldn't do that one thing, and he could have

1284
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,439
Speaker 2: fixed it all by just saying I'll pay for one

1285
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:18,879
Speaker 2: more thing.

1286
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:23,799
Speaker 1: It's it's uh, I like being like, Okay, so you

1287
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 1: just don't want me to have my meal. You don't

1288
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:27,879
Speaker 1: want me to have my thing that I can eat.

1289
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 2: It's frustrating. It's like because he would probably be like, oh, well,

1290
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:32,760
Speaker 2: you can pay to make it. It's like, okay, ops

1291
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 2: doing literally everything, making all the food that she can't

1292
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 2: eat willingly and is asking you to and honestly, her

1293
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:42,840
Speaker 2: meal is probably like maybe an extra at most like

1294
00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:43,640
Speaker 2: ten bucks.

1295
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 1: Honestly, yes, super deserves to be put on blast, and

1296
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: like if you really can't afford it right now, it's

1297
00:56:48,239 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 1: I'll pay you back. Yeah, let's figure out how you

1298
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 1: even pay me back?

1299
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:52,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, or pick me but the thing is that, or

1300
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:54,680
Speaker 2: you pick something else on the menu that you know,

1301
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 2: not just the one that ope he can eat right, articulate.

1302
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:01,480
Speaker 1: Just a read of thoughtfulness for.

1303
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 2: One second, edits ad. I have seen a lot of

1304
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 2: comments saying that they would like to help me to

1305
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 2: contribute financially towards the meal. While I find these offers

1306
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:11,440
Speaker 2: extremely kind, I simply feel like this wouldn't be appropriate

1307
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 2: since I will be fine regardless of the outcome of

1308
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:16,480
Speaker 2: my Christmas. Instead, I'd like to ask you to consider

1309
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 2: donating only if you truly can to your local homeless shelters,

1310
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 2: food banks, et cetera. So those that have nothing, we're

1311
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:24,160
Speaker 2: very little could have something for the holidays. Thank you

1312
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 2: and happy holidays. What a lovely that's so sweet.

1313
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:28,480
Speaker 1: Oh he's a little sweetie.

1314
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 2: Oh he's a little sweet sweetie. I mean, just from that, oh,

1315
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,360
Speaker 2: he was like, yeah, I'm great. And then frickin' went

1316
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 2: the mile further and showed that the brother is definitely

1317
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 2: the a hole here, comments common one, not the a hole.

1318
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:42,440
Speaker 2: Honestly sounds like your brother is the one stirring up drama.

1319
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:45,520
Speaker 2: He chose your dish on purpose. Ohpie says, I'm honestly

1320
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 2: unsure about that. I don't think he thinks it as

1321
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 2: excluding me, but since he's not interested in eating it,

1322
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 2: he feels it's unnecessary and doesn't seem to understand why

1323
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,120
Speaker 2: it's such a big deal for me. Comma two, not

1324
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 2: the A hole. I must say that I've never heard

1325
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 2: of family charging family for a holiday meal. Your solution

1326
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 2: really is the best way given your brother's at Itu

1327
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:04,960
Speaker 2: and Obi says, we usually do pay for it, or

1328
00:58:05,000 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 2: at least part of it when we go over and

1329
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 2: eat at his plate. Since he's so strict with money

1330
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 2: that he basically won't buy enough food for everyone to

1331
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 2: feel full afterwards.

1332
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:15,960
Speaker 1: That's I mean, I mean, like, why if he's that,

1333
00:58:16,040 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 1: why are you hard for money? Don't host?

1334
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:21,120
Speaker 2: That's kind of silly. Like, if you're so strict about

1335
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:23,120
Speaker 2: it that you're not going to pay for any.

1336
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 1: Of it, sometimes you can't afford to host it, that's fine, evening,

1337
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 1: Just don't host.

1338
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess we are kind of resigned to this

1339
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 2: after so many years. But he never offers any money

1340
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 2: in return when visiting. Reply. Do you know other families

1341
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 2: who do this? Is it a cultural or miserly issue

1342
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 2: with your brother? I admit I had to laugh at

1343
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 2: myself for thinking, Hey, I could have been profiting off

1344
00:58:40,880 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 2: my family this whole time. JK. But I'll add that

1345
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 2: he's stingy and a hypocrite for charging family but then

1346
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:48,640
Speaker 2: eating their food for free. It's a whack situation in

1347
00:58:48,680 --> 00:58:49,200
Speaker 2: my opinion.

1348
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:52,880
Speaker 1: He'd just be like, that's just the way I do it.

1349
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 2: He's like, I don't have the money to host you

1350
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 2: to host myself, but also I'm just gonna come. Oh,

1351
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 2: he says, I honestly don't know for sure how it

1352
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 2: is done within other families when the kids are adults

1353
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 2: in our hosting, When our parents hosted, we kids never paid. Yeah,

1354
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 2: I mean, that'd be crazy if you guys were paying.

1355
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:10,920
Speaker 2: Your parents charge the kids.

1356
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 1: Charge my kids. Every time I make them dinner, I

1357
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: charge them, charge them two bucks as sport outs in

1358
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:21,120
Speaker 1: the Daddy's h New Power Tool fund.

1359
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,400
Speaker 2: Sure, last year my brother and his wife paid completely,

1360
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 2: but this year my parents decided to take part in

1361
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 2: covering the costs. As my brother has been going on

1362
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 2: about the costs in summer, my mother actually got really

1363
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:34,800
Speaker 2: mad at him at some point, and so them paying

1364
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 2: half is partly out of spite. But yeah, I think

1365
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 2: in our culture it's polite to offer to pay so

1366
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 2: that the host can decline and there is an update.

1367
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that this is I mean, it's

1368
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:47,080
Speaker 2: that you got out like a smaller Christmas this year.

1369
00:59:47,120 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 2: But your brother seems like he stinks.

1370
00:59:49,160 --> 00:59:51,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like he's gotta really go back to

1371
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 1: the lab. Yeah and figure out why it's so stinky.

1372
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 1: Why you know, he needs more money. He needs money

1373
00:59:57,560 --> 00:59:59,280
Speaker 1: if he really can't if he feels like he needs

1374
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 1: to charge people for the food.

1375
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 2: I can't imagine that even if he had more money,

1376
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 2: he would act any differently, because I think when you

1377
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 2: have this very very stingy mindset, it's not even like, oh,

1378
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 2: I don't have a lot of money, so I can't

1379
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:14,280
Speaker 2: be doing you know, I can't be doing that right now.

1380
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 2: It's like I'm going to do it anyway, but also

1381
01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:18,800
Speaker 2: charge everyone around me and make everyone else pay for

1382
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 2: my lifestyle.

1383
01:00:19,560 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 1: It doesn't really feel like it's.

1384
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,880
Speaker 2: I don't like. I don't think that's something that changes

1385
01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 2: when you get more money. I think it's just kind.

1386
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 1: Of like a It doesn't feel like a scarcity mindset.

1387
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 1: Scarcity mindset, I don't think you're hosting in the first place. No,

1388
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,400
Speaker 1: it feels like kind of greedy. Yeah, but there's a

1389
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 1: nice thanks.

1390
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:35,840
Speaker 2: First of all, thank you for all the comments on

1391
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:38,240
Speaker 2: my original post, even for the ones who deemed me

1392
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:39,960
Speaker 2: the ahole. I try to respond to all of them,

1393
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 2: but after a hundred comment it became hard to keep up.

1394
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:44,400
Speaker 2: But I did read all of them. For those who

1395
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 2: are interested, I have something to update on my family,

1396
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 2: Christmas and my brother. He called yesterday and wanted to

1397
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 2: come over to talk, and he got here. He started

1398
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 2: by apologizing on his part of the argument, Admitting that

1399
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:56,520
Speaker 2: he acted poorly. He told me he hadn't really paid

1400
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 2: much attention on the menu since I was in charge

1401
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,560
Speaker 2: of it, and thus when he suggested to be caught

1402
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 2: out my side, he didn't realize I'd practically have nothing

1403
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 2: else to eat, and in the heat of the moment,

1404
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:09,080
Speaker 2: he couldn't take that into account. He then went on

1405
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:11,760
Speaker 2: to tell me something I didn't quite expect him to,

1406
01:01:12,040 --> 01:01:14,240
Speaker 2: since he isn't one to really talk about these kinds

1407
01:01:14,240 --> 01:01:16,320
Speaker 2: of things. I won't go into too much detail, but

1408
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:18,000
Speaker 2: when I was a baby and he was young, our

1409
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:21,160
Speaker 2: family went through some financial hardships. I'm too young to

1410
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:23,800
Speaker 2: remember it, but it left a mark on him. He

1411
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:26,440
Speaker 2: said that this is what was behind his reaction, and

1412
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 2: he was sorry for letting his anxieties get a hold

1413
01:01:28,760 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 2: of him. He did reassure me that his attention wasn't

1414
01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:33,920
Speaker 2: to exclude me. He offered to pay for my side

1415
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 2: and asked me if there was anything else I wanted

1416
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 2: to have, but I told him I was fine with

1417
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 2: this side, as there was some concern regarding the division

1418
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,280
Speaker 2: of labor and me paying for my own man when

1419
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:44,680
Speaker 2: there's was included in the family budget. I did raise

1420
01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 2: the issue and said i'd, however, appreciate if they pitched

1421
01:01:47,880 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 2: a bit more in terms of the labor. He agreed

1422
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 2: and said we really should include my mane in the

1423
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 2: budget as well. So I told him I would send

1424
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 2: him recipes and instructions and would be available for advice

1425
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 2: if they needed it. I'm still doing most of the labor,

1426
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 2: but I consider this fair and not a hardship. They'll

1427
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:05,520
Speaker 2: do the dishes after though, as I hate those really

1428
01:02:05,600 --> 01:02:08,400
Speaker 2: quick pausing, it seems like really positive.

1429
01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:10,360
Speaker 1: Actually, it seems like we've pivoted.

1430
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was gonna be like, ah, well, there's

1431
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:14,240
Speaker 2: no way he really means that, but it seems like

1432
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:15,040
Speaker 2: he kind of means it.

1433
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:15,280
Speaker 1: Uh.

1434
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:18,160
Speaker 2: I mean he realized that he made a mistake owning.

1435
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 1: Up to it. You love that ill? Yeah?

1436
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:23,479
Speaker 2: Oh bad. I also asked what made him think about

1437
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 2: his actions, and he told me it was really hard

1438
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 2: not to come to the realization that he acted poorly

1439
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:31,360
Speaker 2: when everyone he cares about is mad at him, including

1440
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:35,000
Speaker 2: his wife. Good on those people. Nice wife, And on

1441
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 2: top of that, he didn't feel good about the thought

1442
01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:39,160
Speaker 2: of leaving things like that and of not having me

1443
01:02:39,240 --> 01:02:41,760
Speaker 2: over for Christmas. So yeah, I don't think I cut

1444
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:43,800
Speaker 2: him too much slack in the end, even if some

1445
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 2: thought so. He can be a little misguided sometimes, but

1446
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:48,600
Speaker 2: he's not a bad person. It just sometimes takes a

1447
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:50,640
Speaker 2: little bit more time for him to come around. There

1448
01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:53,160
Speaker 2: is definitely work to be done regarding him respecting other

1449
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:56,120
Speaker 2: people's opinions. But I have hope for him still, and

1450
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 2: I have hoped that you guys can listen to full

1451
01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:00,880
Speaker 2: episodes with stories just like this one. Just go to

1452
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:03,760
Speaker 2: Apple podcast, Spotify or your favorite podcast appen search a

1453
01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 2: boquy story time and you'll find all of those stories

1454
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:09,400
Speaker 2: that you've been hankering for anchor. But there is a

1455
01:03:09,520 --> 01:03:13,600
Speaker 2: little bit left to this story. What give have any

1456
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:14,200
Speaker 2: final thoughts?

1457
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:16,200
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes all you gotta do is listen to

1458
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:18,240
Speaker 1: the people around you who are screaming at you that

1459
01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:18,680
Speaker 1: you're wrong.

1460
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:22,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes when everyone is saying you're wrong, you made

1461
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:25,640
Speaker 2: a mistake, you have to be like, wow, I'm right.

1462
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 1: But then also sometimes sometimes though, sometimes when that happens,

1463
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:33,120
Speaker 1: you gotta go no, you're all wrong, You're all wrong.

1464
01:03:33,280 --> 01:03:36,960
Speaker 1: It's very hard to determine sometimes which which version of

1465
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:39,040
Speaker 1: that it is, But in this case, it was very

1466
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,520
Speaker 1: clearly like everyone yelled at you because you were wrong,

1467
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 1: and they were right about that.

1468
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 2: It's a tricky, slippery sloop.

1469
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:48,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like everyone yelled at Steve Jobs, he was right.

1470
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 1: And there you have it.

1471
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:52,439
Speaker 2: I did apologize for my actions too, so don't worry

1472
01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 2: about that. I wasn't completely blameless in how things progressed

1473
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,640
Speaker 2: after all. So I guess this means that we will

1474
01:03:57,720 --> 01:04:00,160
Speaker 2: have our family Christmas to spite this hiccup if I

1475
01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 2: try to figure out a solution that's fair for all

1476
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:05,440
Speaker 2: for next Christmas, be it a pot luck or something else. Anyway,

1477
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:07,880
Speaker 2: I do hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday, and

1478
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:08,880
Speaker 2: thank you again.

1479
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:09,400
Speaker 1: For all the comments.

1480
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:11,960
Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

1481
01:04:13,320 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 1: There we go, wow wow wow, where.

1482
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:19,400
Speaker 2: I'm glad that. I'm glad that he figured himself out mistakes.

1483
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just got to see the light before.

1484
01:04:22,480 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 2: You can see it. Ain't that the freaking truth.