Speaker 1: I am a Yamla. I've been very open about the
Speaker 1: fact that I was not always good at making my
Speaker 1: relationships work. I have been divorced three times, twice from
Speaker 1: the same person. In other words, I have seen a
Speaker 1: lot and failed a lot in my relationships. So I
Speaker 1: am here to share with you what I learned along
Speaker 1: the way because I did take copious notes. Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Our Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
Speaker 1: with I Heart Radio. People come into your life for
Speaker 1: a reason, a season, or a lifetime. This means that
Speaker 1: some relationships have been formed for a specific reason. Perhaps
Speaker 1: you need to learn, earn something, or heal through something,
Speaker 1: or grow through something as a result of the relationship itself.
Speaker 1: So today I want to talk about relationships that come
Speaker 1: to an end, whether it's an abrupt end or a
Speaker 1: slow death process, breaking up, leaving, exiting a loving relationship,
Speaker 1: what I call a love ship. It's hard to do. Now,
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be hard, but in more cases
Speaker 1: than not, it is difficult, at best devastating in many cases.
Speaker 1: Today I want to discuss why. So let's start right here.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about it. Let's talk about a letter. Then
Speaker 1: I received that comes from a woman named Pam. Hi, Pam,
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Ourtspot. Today. We're talking about breaking up
Speaker 1: being hard to do, and as I read your letter,
Speaker 1: I would say, I, yeah, it's been hard, but I
Speaker 1: thank you for your letter because it speaks to everything
Speaker 1: we need to examine in today's topic. So tell me
Speaker 1: a little bit about your relationship and start with your
Speaker 1: love story. What is your love story that brought you
Speaker 1: and your almost ex husband together in the first place.
Speaker 1: So we were twenty four, Um, we met out hanging out.
Speaker 1: I don't know, it was just an instant connection that
Speaker 1: we had, you know, while dating, though you know we did.
Speaker 1: There were some it was some initial some signs, Yes,
Speaker 1: some signs. The signs were definitely there. Tell me about that.
Speaker 1: Tell me about the signs. What were that? Well, you know,
Speaker 1: with some initial deception in the relationship, you know, I
Speaker 1: would say that, um, our foundation, you know and how
Speaker 1: we started wasn't the greatest. And I think we built
Speaker 1: on a shaky foundation. So if you were connected and
Speaker 1: you had things in common, talk to me about what
Speaker 1: was in the foundation or what was not in the foundation. So,
Speaker 1: like I said, it was, the love was there, the
Speaker 1: connection was there. But you know, there was some serious
Speaker 1: deception there in the beginning of the relationship that I
Speaker 1: think put a crack in the bond that we had
Speaker 1: established right before you got married or after you got
Speaker 1: married before. But because we loved each other, um, and
Speaker 1: because I had been in a similar situation to this
Speaker 1: particular one before and I chose to leave that relationship.
Speaker 1: And then when I met him and went through the
Speaker 1: same thing, I was like, well, maybe that's not the
Speaker 1: right thing, that maybe maybe I should just hang in
Speaker 1: there because I know I love him, and that's what
Speaker 1: I did. So fast forward. Um, we were twenty four.
Speaker 1: We dated for about five or six years, UM, and
Speaker 1: then we we got married. And it was right after
Speaker 1: the marriage was that I didn't learn the details of
Speaker 1: the deception, additional details regarding the deception right that he
Speaker 1: didn't convey before. So that was very, very hurtful. But again, um,
Speaker 1: when you love a person and you want to be
Speaker 1: with them and they want to be with you, you know,
Speaker 1: your heart tells you to do things, but your mind
Speaker 1: is sometimes telling you something else. But a lot of times,
Speaker 1: as women, because we're emotional creatures, we live with our
Speaker 1: hearts and that's what I did, ms Pam. I want
Speaker 1: to give you an opportunity to reverse that, because you see,
Speaker 1: the mind will lie to you. The mind will give
Speaker 1: you all manner of reasons and excuses and rationales and suppositions.
Speaker 1: But it's the heart that speaks to two. I sense
Speaker 1: that very often people in general will blame the heart
Speaker 1: for what their mind is telling them. Your heart probably
Speaker 1: said run run for your life, and your mind says, well,
Speaker 1: he's my husband and we love each other and etcetera, etcetera. Yes,
Speaker 1: I also want to offer you this proposition. If you
Speaker 1: want to know the end, look at the beginning. So
Speaker 1: what I hear you saying is that there was deception
Speaker 1: in the beginning of the relationship that created a crack
Speaker 1: in the foundation. Okay, so here we are now at
Speaker 1: the end and this thing hits you. And I'm assuming
Speaker 1: that the deception you're speaking about had to do an
Speaker 1: infidelity is accument. Yes, how long had that relationship been
Speaker 1: going on when you found out about it? About two years?
Speaker 1: And that wasn't the first one, wasn't. No, that was
Speaker 1: the one I could prove prove how it was sent
Speaker 1: to me? What was sent to you? A message and
Speaker 1: explicit videos. Wow, I am really sorry about that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And when I say as a woman and as a wife, um,
Speaker 1: what I received, no woman should ever No woman first
Speaker 1: of all, should ever receive that, And no woman should
Speaker 1: ever have to see their husband in that manner. Psychologically,
Speaker 1: we're not made up that way to see that to
Speaker 1: really be able to handle it. You know, at least
Speaker 1: I wasn't. What's the distinction you make between knowing it
Speaker 1: and seeing it? Because you knew but you hadn't seen it.
Speaker 1: What's the distinction that you make? Knowing is one thing,
Speaker 1: but when you see it, it's a visual. Okay, miss Pam,
Speaker 1: I want you to own that. When I saw it,
Speaker 1: right when I saw it, the visual was it was traumatizing.
Speaker 1: So when you know something, it's not necessarily when I
Speaker 1: knew something, because you are still externalizing this. I know,
Speaker 1: Mr y'aller because I have been so closed off and
Speaker 1: shut down. That's why I'm speaking about it externally because
Speaker 1: it's really hard to internalize. The breakup will not happen
Speaker 1: until you internalize it. Until then you will continue to
Speaker 1: re traumatize yourself. Yeah, you've got to own it. Work
Speaker 1: with this, my beloved, Knowing wasn't enough because repeat that,
Speaker 1: knowing wasn't enough because I couldn't I couldn't prove it's right.
Speaker 1: So you see indications, you see clues, you see I saw,
Speaker 1: I saw, I saw. Okay, I got you, now I
Speaker 1: got you. It wasn't anything that I did not see.
Speaker 1: I saw cards, I saw letters, I saw pictures, I
Speaker 1: saw explicit texts. Why wasn't that enough to let go?
Speaker 1: Because again, it could be explained away. Not that even
Speaker 1: the explanations made any sense. But I think for me
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm gonna be real here. I was in
Speaker 1: a sense of denial, like I didn't want to let
Speaker 1: go of the family that I we had created. Why
Speaker 1: and and to ask myself, why didn't I leave? It
Speaker 1: is a dumb question. I was holding onto my family unit.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you were holding onto the image that you
Speaker 1: had created in your mind. And that's normal, not natural,
Speaker 1: but it is normal. You know what else, my beloved,
Speaker 1: it was familiar. You had been there before and made
Speaker 1: up your mind. I'm not gonna walk away this time.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stick it out. You see, when we have
Speaker 1: the image of what we think it is or what
Speaker 1: we wanted to be, we just have a hard time saying, oops,
Speaker 1: I was wrong. I made a mistake. And that's what
Speaker 1: makes breaking up so hard to do. So what do
Speaker 1: we do now? We'll talk about that right after this
Speaker 1: break Welcome back to the our spot. We are continuing
Speaker 1: our conversation about breaking up leaving a relationship. When you
Speaker 1: are breaking up, there must be a consequence for the
Speaker 1: behavior identified, and there must be clear boundaries that then
Speaker 1: create the game changes or the you know, the bottom lines.
Speaker 1: I got remorse, I got the ecology, I got flowers, candy, gifts,
Speaker 1: all that. But what I didn't get was what I wanted.
Speaker 1: I wanted the accountability. I wanted him to say, what
Speaker 1: can I do to change this? What can I do
Speaker 1: to make it better? How can we work together to
Speaker 1: try to get through this situation? And I never heard
Speaker 1: those words. It sounds to me like perhaps at beginning
Speaker 1: with the deception in the foundation, you didn't have a
Speaker 1: clear deal breakup. Would that be accurate? M h, that's
Speaker 1: what you call boundaries. See, there are two things I
Speaker 1: never tolerated in a relationship, and I tolerated some other
Speaker 1: crazy stuff, but one thing was cheating and the other
Speaker 1: thing was messing with my money. Don't mess with my money.
Speaker 1: You are gone. Don't put your hand in my checking account,
Speaker 1: don't be digging around in my purse. Those are deal
Speaker 1: breakers for me. And then you cheat, You're gone. You
Speaker 1: mess with my money, I'm out. So I'll tell you
Speaker 1: the kind of woman I am. I had just had
Speaker 1: my daughter. She was about six weeks old, and I
Speaker 1: was at home with her. My two older children were
Speaker 1: in school when the doorbell rang, maybe about one o'clock
Speaker 1: in the afternoon. So I go to the door and
Speaker 1: there are these two women, one older, one younger. When
Speaker 1: I opened the door, they asked me my name, and
Speaker 1: they introduced themselves, tell me who they were. Then the
Speaker 1: older woman said to me, this is my daughter, and
Speaker 1: we're here to find out when you are going to
Speaker 1: let let me just give you a name, Uh, Franklin.
Speaker 1: When you're gonna let Franklin go. We're planning his marriage
Speaker 1: to my daughter, but he says, you won't sign the
Speaker 1: divorce papers. So this woman brought her daughter to my
Speaker 1: house to ask me when I was going to sign
Speaker 1: the divorce papers so that her daughter could marry my husband.
Speaker 1: But like I said, I don't tolerate cheating. So on
Speaker 1: that bright Sunday afternoon. You know what I did. I said,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, and I went back in my house
Speaker 1: and I went to the closet. I took all of
Speaker 1: his clothes and put them in one of those big
Speaker 1: black trash bags. Everything I took him out of the closet,
Speaker 1: the drawers, everything, even the wet auntry I had hanging
Speaker 1: on the line. I pulled that in and put it
Speaker 1: in the bag. And I carried those bags to the
Speaker 1: front door. I said, here, here's all this closed. Then
Speaker 1: I said, wait a minute. I went back inside and
Speaker 1: I got Lady, the German shepherd. I put her leash on.
Speaker 1: I took her to the door, and I said, here,
Speaker 1: take the dog too. I told you I got deal breakers,
Speaker 1: and this was my husband and I had a six
Speaker 1: week old baby. You want him, you got him. I
Speaker 1: gave them all of his clothes and the dog. That's
Speaker 1: how you have a deal breaker, and you hold it.
Speaker 1: But how many of us women are taught to establish
Speaker 1: those early in the relationship. I never established boundaries. Who
Speaker 1: taught you how beloved? No one you didn't know. And
Speaker 1: it's unloving to ask yourself to do something you don't
Speaker 1: know how to do. It's unloving. You didn't know not
Speaker 1: to blame anybody because the people who didn't know how
Speaker 1: to do it couldn't teach you how to do it.
Speaker 1: So many of us don't have boundaries. The other thing
Speaker 1: is so many of us, as women, go into relationships
Speaker 1: and marriage without clear deal breakers. You've got to have
Speaker 1: your deal breakers at the beginning, and by the time
Speaker 1: you realize, oh damn, this isn't working. So many deals
Speaker 1: have been broken you can't even figure out which one
Speaker 1: is the real one, which is the most horrible one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what happened. We go into relationships and by
Speaker 1: the time they blow up, like you said, you're traumatized.
Speaker 1: I am, But it's a blessing. Here's the lesson. The
Speaker 1: universe is saying to you, know what you know, even
Speaker 1: without evidence, the cards, the pictures, the text, the letters.
Speaker 1: You say it wasn't evidence. I don't know how much
Speaker 1: more evidence you want or need. So what what's next?
Speaker 1: The video? The video was the most reasonable thing. What
Speaker 1: else was going to happen? You were going to walk
Speaker 1: into in a living room? The universe was teaching you something, beloved,
Speaker 1: know what you know? It's your bad behavior too. If
Speaker 1: you clean up your bad behavior, he will disappear. But
Speaker 1: I don't know how to get there. Right now, you
Speaker 1: are all vibrating at the same place. His bad behavior
Speaker 1: was about his bad behavior. Your bad behavior was about
Speaker 1: ignoring his bad behavior. So I want to send you
Speaker 1: or give you a copy of Forgiveness forty Days to
Speaker 1: forgive everyone for everything, And I want you to do
Speaker 1: the work in that book. I want to say thank you,
Speaker 1: and I want you to know how much I really
Speaker 1: love you. I appreciate you, and I appreciate you being
Speaker 1: so willing to work on your out. And if you
Speaker 1: are a g c C member, a Global Community Connection member,
Speaker 1: you've got a lot of information. You have to go
Speaker 1: back and do some of that work. And then in
Speaker 1: ninety days, I want you to write me and let
Speaker 1: me know where you are. Oh yes, ma'am, I will definitely.
Speaker 1: When you are leaving a relationship where there's money or
Speaker 1: property or children involved, chances are you are going to
Speaker 1: need some outside support, a third party, a mediator, an attorney,
Speaker 1: even a minister or a counselor who can help you
Speaker 1: sort through the rubble. And I know in some cases
Speaker 1: people think they cannot afford the support they need. But
Speaker 1: there is always away, there's legal aid, there's a friend
Speaker 1: of a friend who has some experience in this area.
Speaker 1: The point is, when it comes to leaving and asking
Speaker 1: for what you want, you may need some help. So
Speaker 1: be open to asking for it, be open to compromising
Speaker 1: on your requests, and if the third party is not
Speaker 1: being cooperative, step to the left and get someone involved
Speaker 1: who can advocate on your bath. Oh lord, leaving isn't easy.
Speaker 1: Breaking up is so hard to do, and we haven't
Speaker 1: even scratched the surface of the challenges, the difficulties, the
Speaker 1: ins and outs of getting out. In fact, in all relationships,
Speaker 1: boundaries are absolutely essential because boundaries are the way that
Speaker 1: you demonstrate respect, not only for yourself but for the
Speaker 1: other person. Boundaries are the way that you keep yourself
Speaker 1: safe and teach the other person what they can expect
Speaker 1: from you and what you can expect from them. Now,
Speaker 1: here's the problem with bad counties. Most people create a
Speaker 1: boundary and if someone crosses the boundary, they back up
Speaker 1: and draw another line. Well, that is very unhelpful. The
Speaker 1: other problem with boundaries is we fail to create a
Speaker 1: consequence for violation of the boundary. And my next caller
Speaker 1: is learning all about boundaries. We'll talk to her when
Speaker 1: we come back. Welcome back to the our Spot. We
Speaker 1: are continuing our conversation about how to set boundaries, how
Speaker 1: to hold the boundary, and how to enact the consequence
Speaker 1: for violation of a boundary. But more important, she's learning
Speaker 1: why she has to do it. Greetings beloved, Welcome to
Speaker 1: the our Spot. How are you today? How are you?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Thank you, thank you for calling today. Thank you.
Speaker 1: And here at the our Spot we discuss all issues
Speaker 1: related to relationships. So what is your issue, challenge, problem,
Speaker 1: concern that we can dive into to that. Okay, So
Speaker 1: my concern is that I have a my child father
Speaker 1: is an alcoholic and I would like for my child
Speaker 1: to know him. But I think I just need some
Speaker 1: assistance on like how to set boundaries with like keeping
Speaker 1: her safe, keeping her emotionally safe, and just everything that
Speaker 1: comes along with the alcoholic, because um, I don't want
Speaker 1: to come off as bitter and just keep her away
Speaker 1: from him because I want to keep her safe, I
Speaker 1: just don't know how to maneuver with She's my only child. Again,
Speaker 1: I thank you for calling in and let me make
Speaker 1: sure I've got this. You have a child that is
Speaker 1: how old? Nineteen months? And you want the child to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship with her father, but you're concerned
Speaker 1: about whether or not she is safe with them. Okay.
Speaker 1: So has he always been an alcoholic? He always has been,
Speaker 1: and I was one before her. Well, when I had her,
Speaker 1: I stopped drinking and he kept drinking. Okay, So you
Speaker 1: have a shared history today and my hearing that you
Speaker 1: don't live together, we don't. Okay, good? And what is
Speaker 1: his current relationship like with her? He has one. He
Speaker 1: will do that to get to me, like he really
Speaker 1: wants to be with me, but it's like he almost
Speaker 1: tries to use it, like he doesn't support her financially.
Speaker 1: I do everything for her. And it's like if if
Speaker 1: I would allow him to be in a relationship with me,
Speaker 1: then he would do those things. So he sort of that,
Speaker 1: he kind of like he will try to use our
Speaker 1: relationships and like he doesn't really necessarily have a relationship
Speaker 1: with her, But when we don't talk, he like, well
Speaker 1: when am I going to see her? You never see here?
Speaker 1: So I just I don't know, all right, So let's
Speaker 1: handle some basics here. The basic is alcoholism is a disease.
Speaker 1: So when you are dealing with him, you have to
Speaker 1: deal with him knowing that he is not well. I'm
Speaker 1: overly compassionate for him, and then I'll give him passes
Speaker 1: for things. Compassion is not about giving him a pass.
Speaker 1: Sympathy is about giving him a pass. Compassion is about
Speaker 1: the elimination of his suffering, the elimination of your suffering,
Speaker 1: and the elimination probably of your daughter suffering. And nothing
Speaker 1: is going to cause her greater suffering than to see
Speaker 1: her father in the height of his illness. He wants
Speaker 1: to be with you, So we're going to separate that
Speaker 1: out because I'm thinking and hearing that your relationship to
Speaker 1: him is over. Okay, all right, so that's clear. So
Speaker 1: then you're dealing with your daughter's father period. There's no
Speaker 1: discussion about your relationship with him, and what do you
Speaker 1: want to see in that relationship. I just want to
Speaker 1: see them able to interact. I want to see him
Speaker 1: want to have a relationship with her and not focus
Speaker 1: so much on me, but focus on her, and not
Speaker 1: in exciteful way. Well beloved, it's unloving to ask someone
Speaker 1: to do something that they cannot do. That's a very
Speaker 1: unloving thing. You're asking an alcoholic to make rational decisions
Speaker 1: and behave in a responsible way. That is not going
Speaker 1: to happen. Okay, you said a keyword early in your communication.
Speaker 1: You said boundaries. So what are the current boundaries that
Speaker 1: you have with him? I don't really have any, that's
Speaker 1: the problem. So let's start with some boundaries. What is
Speaker 1: the first boundary that you would like to create with him?
Speaker 1: And I have a little voice, so I instantly you
Speaker 1: just sit down and just like whatever, he's like a
Speaker 1: roaring lion, like that's how he is. Yeah, well, you've
Speaker 1: got to put that in check and let him know.
Speaker 1: I'm asking you not to speak to me in that way,
Speaker 1: and if you do, I will end the communication. Whether
Speaker 1: you hang up the phone or walk away, you've got
Speaker 1: to announce this. So the first boundary is how he
Speaker 1: speaks to you. That's number one. That doesn't have anything
Speaker 1: to do with your daughter. That has to do with
Speaker 1: the fact that you are your daughter's mother, and there's
Speaker 1: a way that you can receive people. But chances are
Speaker 1: he's going to violate that boundary and then there must
Speaker 1: be a consequence. Okay, I'm going to walk away or
Speaker 1: hang up. I want you to know that there's a
Speaker 1: consequence to how you speak to me and how you behave.
Speaker 1: See when you first announced the boundary and you tell
Speaker 1: him the consequence, trust me, he is going to violate it.
Speaker 1: So the next time he speaks to you, he'll probably
Speaker 1: yell or curse or whatever. That's when you say to him, Remember,
Speaker 1: I asked you not to speak to me like that.
Speaker 1: I told you. If you do, I'm going to walk away,
Speaker 1: or I'm going to hang up the phone. I'm going
Speaker 1: to end the communication. So you're doing it right now again,
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you to stop. That's how you
Speaker 1: hold the boundary and how long do I hold it?
Speaker 1: How long do I with Well, I'm not asking you
Speaker 1: to withhold conversations because you may hang up. He might
Speaker 1: call you right back. That's when you say, I have
Speaker 1: asked you not to yell at me. You're yelling, So
Speaker 1: I'm not going to take any more calls from you today.
Speaker 1: Call me back when you can speak to me without
Speaker 1: yelling or cursing or whatever. But you are announcing the boundary.
Speaker 1: You are making it clear. I've asked you not to
Speaker 1: speak to me in that way. If you do, here's
Speaker 1: the consequence. Because you have violated a boundary. You see,
Speaker 1: you can have another conversation with him later on, but
Speaker 1: right now a boundary has been violated. A consequence must
Speaker 1: be enacted, because a boundary without a consequence just doesn't
Speaker 1: work right. So the first boundary is how he speaks
Speaker 1: to you. What's the second boundary you need to set
Speaker 1: with him? Um, how we can co parent? Um, Because
Speaker 1: he'll use that because he knows that I'm not comfortable
Speaker 1: with her going with him without me, and neither she
Speaker 1: She'll cry. So what he'll do is say, I'm coming
Speaker 1: to get her and we don't need you, So I
Speaker 1: don't know how to let her be without me with him.
Speaker 1: So the second boundary I'm hearing you say you have
Speaker 1: to create is about his mind. You are dealing with
Speaker 1: a diseased mind. Now that doesn't make him bad, doesn't
Speaker 1: make him a bad person, but you have to tell
Speaker 1: yourself the truth about that. So the second boundary are
Speaker 1: the visitation parameters for him and your daughter, and you
Speaker 1: have to tell him the truth. It may be like,
Speaker 1: I know you are her father, but you are also
Speaker 1: an alcoholic and I don't feel she's safe with you.
Speaker 1: So here are the boundaries for your visitation. You cannot
Speaker 1: take her anywhere without me, and you cannot be in
Speaker 1: my house to visit her. You'll have to meet him
Speaker 1: somewhere else. Telling that will have to meet and that's
Speaker 1: the boundary, beloved. You want him to be a nice,
Speaker 1: normal father that's coming to take the kid to the
Speaker 1: circus and bring him back on time. No, that is
Speaker 1: not going to happen as long as his mind is disease.
Speaker 1: And you can even say that to him. As long
Speaker 1: as you are drinking, and I'm not clear that you
Speaker 1: can control your drinking. She cannot be alone with you.
Speaker 1: You've got a problem with that, then let's go to court, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can do that. I just gotta build my back
Speaker 1: phone up with him, because, like I said, I got
Speaker 1: a soft spot for him, and you don't have a
Speaker 1: soft spot for him. You've got a weak spot for yourself.
Speaker 1: There's a distinction having a soft spot for him is this.
Speaker 1: I'm making sure that I keep you and our daughter
Speaker 1: is safe because I understand that you're not well. So
Speaker 1: I'm not going to expect you to do all the
Speaker 1: things that are normal co parent would do. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to put those things on you. But these are
Speaker 1: the requirements that I am making of you. You cannot
Speaker 1: speak to me in a disrespectful, dishonorable way, and you
Speaker 1: cannot be alone with our daughter as long as you
Speaker 1: are drinking. See now, that's a strong spot for you,
Speaker 1: because if he can come into your life and run
Speaker 1: him up, he's not the problem. You are the problem.
Speaker 1: Hold your line, don't draw your line in the sand,
Speaker 1: and when he crosses the line, you step back and
Speaker 1: draw another line. And when he crosses that, that's when
Speaker 1: you've got to enact the consequence. Because that's exactly what
Speaker 1: I've been doing, backing up and drawing up. Well. Well,
Speaker 1: like I said, it's not about a soft spot for him.
Speaker 1: It's about a weak spot for yourself. And that, my beloved,
Speaker 1: is what you have to build up. Okay, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. You are so welcome. This is a topic
Speaker 1: that many of us have faced and are still suffering
Speaker 1: the impact of. It's a situation that many of us
Speaker 1: will face. So we also know that you must ask
Speaker 1: for what you want, being willing to compromise, but you
Speaker 1: must create and whold clear boundaries about how you want
Speaker 1: to move forward. I am Yamla and thank you for
Speaker 1: tuning in. If you have questions insights about this or
Speaker 1: any other relationship issue and you would like to explore
Speaker 1: it here on the our spot, you can call me
Speaker 1: live at seven seven five three zero seven seven seven
Speaker 1: six eight and be sure to follow on social media
Speaker 1: for the call in times. In the meantime, stay in peace,
Speaker 1: not pieceless. The R Spot is a production of Shondaland
Speaker 1: Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: from Shondaland Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.