1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. This January, 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,720 Speaker 1: Danny's taking Family Secrets on the road. To get your tickets, 3 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 1: visit Danny Shapiro dot com. I'm Danny Shapiro and this 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: is family Secrets, the secrets that are kept from us, 5 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,439 Speaker 1: the secrets we keep from others, and the secrets we 6 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: keep from ourselves. I've heard from so many about your 7 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: own family secrets and realize that what we are creating 8 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: for each other on this podcast is a community, a 9 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: community for those who are looking for a safe and 10 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: supportive space to unburden themselves. To that end, we've created 11 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: a number for listeners to call in to record stories 12 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: to share here in this space. This week, I'd like 13 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: to share a few of those stories from our community. 14 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. So I found out a family secrets 15 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: not too long ago. My grandpa passed away UM, And 16 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: when I was five, one of my uncles passed away 17 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 1: and my realiged as it always told us that it 18 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 1: was common monoxide poisoning. He was doing work in the garage. 19 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: UM must have had a garage door down, didn't realize 20 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: it and passed away. And it wasn't until I was 21 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: much older that my dad told me that they believed 22 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:32,039 Speaker 1: that my uncle actually commits suicide and that it was 23 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: probably due to the fact that my grandpa was so 24 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: cruel to him. UM. My dad proceeds to tell me 25 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,760 Speaker 1: that he almost committed suicide because of how mean and 26 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: terrible my grandpa was to him. And my uncle was 27 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: much younger than him, and my dad had moved out 28 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: and gotten married and had me and UM no longer 29 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: lived in the house and my grandpa and at some 30 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: point it was just my own called my grandpa in 31 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: this house and he did not survive it. UM. So 32 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: my grandpa was still pretty mean actually the rest of 33 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: his life, and I couldn't figured it out why um, 34 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: and to but learned that he had probably caused my 35 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 1: uncle to commit suicide and almost my father. UM. And 36 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: the fact that he had actually said to my dad 37 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: was I too hard on him. I don't understand how 38 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: you could continue to go through life and be so 39 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: cruel to people when you know in your heart that 40 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: your son probably committed suicide because of you. UM. It's 41 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: very sad. UM. But I enjoy your podcast and I 42 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: think it helps a lot of people, So I want 43 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: to thank you for that Hi, thank you so much 44 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: for your podcast. I have a secret that was cut 45 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: for me for over twenty years. I was adopted when 46 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 1: I was a month old, and I was always told 47 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: that I was adopted our lover. What I did not 48 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: know was that I was the result of a relationship 49 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 1: between two family friends while my biological mother was in 50 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: an unhappy marriage. I grew up knowing both of my 51 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: biological parents and three half siblings. I was very close 52 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: to all of them as family friends, but I never 53 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: knew that I was interacting with my own flush and 54 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 1: mud until it was in my twenties. My biological mother 55 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: never told me herself until she wrote me a letter 56 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,119 Speaker 1: while she was dying of cancer, and by the time 57 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: I wasn't able to visit her, she was too ill 58 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: and I didn't want to bring up the subject. My 59 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: biological father, who is one of my dad's buddies, was 60 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: told about me after she passed away. Um. We had 61 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 1: a very good relationship until he died due to long 62 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: term complications on the stroke almost five years ago. Now 63 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: be able to say, it's taken a lot of therapy 64 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: for me to process, so there's a feeling ground in 65 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: my situation. The anger, the sadness, the must trust the 66 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: resentment as well's release and finally know my full story. 67 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 1: I was loved and I am loved. Thank you very much. 68 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,719 Speaker 1: I just wanted to say that I love your podcast. UM. 69 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 1: I stumbled on it on accident, and now I do 70 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,080 Speaker 1: not miss a week. UM. I look forward to every 71 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 1: week hearing a new story, UM on my drive home 72 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: from work. Your podcast resignated with me because I also 73 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: have a family's secret. The family's secret is me. UM. 74 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,280 Speaker 1: When I was younger, I grew up with my mother 75 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: and my father and my younger brother. UM. We had 76 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 1: a great family, you know, good childhood. Everything was about 77 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: as normal as it could be, except for the fact 78 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 1: that my parents themselves were toxic. They fought all the time. 79 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,919 Speaker 1: They argued a lot. There was alcohol involved, so that 80 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: probably intensified their arguments. UM. So basically what happened was 81 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: when I was a junior or a senior in high school, 82 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 1: I had went to prom one weekend with my boyfriend 83 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: and I had come home UM, and then I tried to, 84 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: you know, UM, make new plans the next day, and 85 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: my dad was kind of all over me, saying, you know, 86 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: you've been gone all weekend. You know, you don't need 87 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 1: to go anywhere. And my mom was sticking up for me, saying, 88 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,080 Speaker 1: we'll let her go, let her go, And I realized 89 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: that this me asking to go somewhere was going to 90 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: turn into an argument. UM, so I removed myself from 91 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: the argument, but of course, as a nose teenager, I 92 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 1: still listened to the argument. And um, my mom said 93 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 1: to him, you know, why are you all over her 94 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,479 Speaker 1: all the time about everything? I know why you do 95 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 1: that to her? And he replied with we'll find in 96 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: if that's what you think, let's just tell her. And 97 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: that is how I found out that my dad was 98 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: not my biological father, and in fact, my mom had 99 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:12,360 Speaker 1: gotten pregnant in high school with a classmate, and um, 100 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: he failed and my dad met me. My mom was um, 101 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: I was two years old, and he wound up Mary 102 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: and her in adopting me. So UM, I guess overall, 103 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: what I wanted to say about this was to anyone 104 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: who's feels similar to me. I had a good fifteen 105 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: year period where I thought that there was a piece 106 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: of me missing. However, looking back now I realized I 107 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,719 Speaker 1: had a family. I had a family. My whole life 108 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,159 Speaker 1: growing up, I had a dad that loved me. I 109 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: had a mom that loved me. Even though my biological 110 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: dad was not there, I had, you know, the dad 111 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 1: I knew stepped up, took care of me and provided 112 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: for me for my whole life. And UM, So anyone 113 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: who may be feeling like a piece of them is 114 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: missing because they don't know their biological family, just remember 115 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: the family you do have and UM tell them you 116 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: love them and thank you for everything that they've done 117 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: from you, UM your whole life. So it's not the 118 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 1: end of the world to find out a family's secret. 119 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: You just kind of you kind of make do when 120 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: you adapt. Thanks again for your podcast. I love it 121 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: and I look forward to the next new episode. If 122 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: you'd like to share your story, call one eight eight 123 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: eight Secret zero and record your story. We won't be 124 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: able to run all the stories, but we do want 125 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 1: to shine a light on as many as we can. 126 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: The number again is one eight eight Secret and then 127 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: the numeral zero. For more podcasts for my Heart Radio, 128 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever 129 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows.