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Speaker 1: M Hey, everybody, welcome to Behind the Bastards, the show

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Speaker 1: where we tell you everything you don't know about the

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Speaker 1: very worst people in all of history. I'm Robert Evans

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Speaker 1: hosting your show today, and with me is my friend Iffy. Hey,

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Speaker 1: how's it going doing great? If he is a comedian

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Speaker 1: actor podcast heer? Uh, you want to talk about some

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Speaker 1: of the stuff you're up to right now? Yeah? You

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Speaker 1: know you can listen to me tuesdays on this very

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Speaker 1: network Nerdificent Monday's Katie Dinner with Matt Niffy talking spicy

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Speaker 1: and you know, just every night pretty much, not every night,

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Speaker 1: but you can see me at comedy clubs doing staying ups. Well,

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Speaker 1: we are today talking about a very famous nerd who's

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Speaker 1: not famous for being a nerd, but is famous for

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Speaker 1: blowing up the World Trade Center towers, um Osama bin Laden. Uh. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he is our subject for today. Uh. Now, when I

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Speaker 1: started working on this podcast, I figured it was going

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Speaker 1: to be like a biographical overview of his weird life

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Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about all these things from

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Speaker 1: his past and you know, all the all the stuff

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Speaker 1: he got up to as a as a young man

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Speaker 1: and a kid. Uh. And then I spent an entire

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Speaker 1: week looking through the archives that the CIA posted of

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Speaker 1: everything that was on his hard drives. And so now

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Speaker 1: this podcast is going to be mostly about that, because

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Speaker 1: it is no matter what you've read about it, it's

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Speaker 1: so much fucking crazier than what you would guess. Um.

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Speaker 1: But first we are going to start with a little

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Speaker 1: bit of an overview of the man, the myth, the

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Speaker 1: big and tall gentleman himself, Osama Ibben Mohammed Ibben Awad

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Speaker 1: ibbin Laden. He was born on March tenth, nineteen fifty seven,

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Speaker 1: to Mohammed bin Laden's tenth wife, Ali Agammon. And as

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Speaker 1: you might guess, Mohammed bin Laden was richest shit. He

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Speaker 1: was like a self made man, rags to riches sort

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Speaker 1: of thing. Started off as a day laborer, built a

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Speaker 1: billion dollar construction empire. Uh then fund married God knows

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Speaker 1: how many women um in the Looming Tower. Lawrence Right

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Speaker 1: describes Mohammed bin Laden's household as being run like a corporation.

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Speaker 1: Each wife would manage your children and then report to

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Speaker 1: him about how they were doing, so he didn't have

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Speaker 1: to do any parenting. Yeah, that's a pretty sweet deal. Um,

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Speaker 1: here's a great quote. Uh, the children rarely saw the

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Speaker 1: great man, who was off in away on business. Whenever

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Speaker 1: he returned, he would call them into his office and

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Speaker 1: gaze upon his vast brood. During the Islamic feasting days,

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Speaker 1: he would kiss them and give each child a gold coin.

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Speaker 1: Otherwise he rarely spoke to them. Osama once said quote,

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Speaker 1: I remember reciting a poem to him, and he gave

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Speaker 1: me a hundred rials, which was a huge amount of

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Speaker 1: money in those days. So that was like Osama's dad. Wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is like once a week he would call them

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Speaker 1: all in and give them coins. And you know, there's

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Speaker 1: there's like an alternate universe where that money he got

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Speaker 1: from that poem made Osama bin Laden become this great poet.

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Speaker 1: He's looked at differently in universe six to six, where

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Speaker 1: I'm not a stand up comedian, I'm a computer programmer.

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Speaker 1: Uh rich off a bitcoin. I thought you were going

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Speaker 1: to say that you did nine eleven and this alternate

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Speaker 1: Sama bin Laden where I do it. Um? So yeah.

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Speaker 1: You you could describe ben Laden's relationship to his father

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Speaker 1: as distant. It's possible he only actually saw him a

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Speaker 1: couple of times. Um so yeah, Um Mohammed divorced his

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Speaker 1: wife shortly after Osama was born. Um, this is an

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Speaker 1: a sign that he grew up in a fractured at

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Speaker 1: home because mohammedan Laden's thing was like marrying and divorcing

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Speaker 1: a ton of women, but then he'd helped them pick

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Speaker 1: new husbands. Yeah, which is weird because like Osama wound

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Speaker 1: up with his new dad being his real bio dad's

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Speaker 1: uh employee, which is like a strange situation for everybody involved. Seriously. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Um so yeah, he never really knew his dad very well.

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Speaker 1: He was raised by his mom and like the rest

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Speaker 1: of us television, Um, his favorite show was Bonanza. His

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Speaker 1: favorite genre was American westerns. Um, which actually puts him

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Speaker 1: in the same boat as Stalin and Hitler, who were

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Speaker 1: both obsessed with American westerns. It's almost like there's something

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Speaker 1: with westerns like that ideology. Yeah, and it makes sense

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Speaker 1: that Clint Eastwood is a piece of ship like that.

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Speaker 1: It all comes full circle. Yeah, Clint Eastwood, John Wayne

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Speaker 1: just both big dicks and and yeah it's it's I

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Speaker 1: guess a of course, a bunch of monsters and dictators

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Speaker 1: would love a genre where like the basic premises like

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Speaker 1: unstoppable killing machine with a gun, rides into town and

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Speaker 1: murders everyone who annoys him. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: the story of the Old West. Um. Although another one

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Speaker 1: of his favorite shows was a Western called Fury, which

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Speaker 1: was about a young orphan who befriends a black horse

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Speaker 1: that helps him heal the wounds of his past. Um

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Speaker 1: and Solomon Laden loved horses. Was obsessed with horses. Will

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Speaker 1: get into that in a little bit. Um. It's worth

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Speaker 1: noting that for the last few years of his life,

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Speaker 1: been Laden wore a cowboy hat every time he went outside. Um.

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Speaker 1: Apparently he thought this would hide his identity from US

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Speaker 1: drones and satellites. I think he was just like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want to be like the man with no name.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, which is that's a cool move if you're

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Speaker 1: the most wanted man in the world donning a black

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Speaker 1: cowboy hat. Hell yeah. I support Bin Laden in that, um.

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Speaker 1: Bin Laden was a weird, quiet kid. He had trouble

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Speaker 1: making friends and focusing on sports. He always seem to

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Speaker 1: have his head in the clouds. He didn't really find

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Speaker 1: his crew until high school, when he joined up with

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Speaker 1: the semi clandestine Muslim brotherhood. One fellow member said only

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Speaker 1: nerds were in it. Um, it's kind of like an

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Speaker 1: alt right four chance sort of thing, where like there's

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Speaker 1: these weird conservative corners of like the nerdy Internet, where

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Speaker 1: like people are just being turned into fascists and yeah,

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Speaker 1: like this was that equivalent of that. Like they're all

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Speaker 1: these like nerds who think that like this hard lined

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Speaker 1: interpretation of Islam should rule the world, and like they

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Speaker 1: don't really get along with every anyone else. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: this is like an old trend in the world. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it seems very very cyclical. Yeah. Um, he was stubborn.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, he was obsessed with horses, but he

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Speaker 1: was also excited by danger. There's a quote from his

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Speaker 1: friend Khalifa, who said, uh, and this is again from

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Speaker 1: Blooming Tower. We were riding horses in the desert and

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Speaker 1: we were going very fast. I saw fine sand in

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Speaker 1: front of us, and I told I, saw my this

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Speaker 1: is dangerous. Better stay away. He said no, and he continued.

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Speaker 1: His horse turned over and fell down. He got up laughing.

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Speaker 1: Another time, we were riding in a jeep. Whenever he

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Speaker 1: saw a hill, he would drive very fast and go

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Speaker 1: over it, even though we didn't know it was on

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Speaker 1: the other side. Really he put us in danger many times,

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Speaker 1: which is like I like that. I mean that that

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Speaker 1: makes me connect to a Sama a little bit because

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Speaker 1: he was a fan of the fun. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: all this stuff aside, he had a he had a

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Speaker 1: soft heart for hidden nice jumps off of dude. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was just getting that like, it's not really fun

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Speaker 1: if you can't die. Yeah, I identify with that a little. Um.

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Speaker 1: So Yeah. Osama married for the first time in seventy

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Speaker 1: four when he was seventeen years old. His wife was

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Speaker 1: fourteen uh, which yeah yeah um. Marriage and his wartime

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Speaker 1: experiences in Afghanistan didn't seem to change his fundamental nature

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Speaker 1: as a gawky nerd. One person who met him as

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Speaker 1: a young man in Afghanistan said that shaking hands with

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Speaker 1: him was like shaking hands with a girl, which is

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Speaker 1: a misogynistic way of saying. He was not very aggressive.

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Speaker 1: He was known to cover his mouth with his hand

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Speaker 1: while laughing, which is of adorable. Um. He's love of

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Speaker 1: horses matured into an outright obsession. One man who met

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Speaker 1: him in nineteen eighty five described their first conversation. We

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Speaker 1: were in a prayer hall in a guesthouse. People asked

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Speaker 1: him to talk, so he talked about horses. He said,

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Speaker 1: if you love a horse, he will respond to you.

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Speaker 1: That's what was in his mind. Horses. So just a

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Speaker 1: horse love and dude. Yeah, um, yeah. So there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of debate over how been Laden got radicalized and

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Speaker 1: pushed into an ever more direct confrontation with the US

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Speaker 1: Looming Tower, which is being turned into TV show right now,

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Speaker 1: and makes the case that Zawahiri, the Egyptian co leader

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Speaker 1: of al Qaeda, kind of radicalized him into attacking America.

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Speaker 1: Another book I read for this just titled Asama bin

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Speaker 1: Laden about Michael Scherer Um assures us that that's bullshit.

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Speaker 1: It's a line in the Saudi's pushed to diminish the

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Speaker 1: culpability of their native son. Ben Laden would have wound

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Speaker 1: up swinging hard for Uncle Sam without zawahirii's help. Either way,

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Speaker 1: it seems like both of these are just saying not

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Speaker 1: of the U s IS destabilization of the Middle East

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Speaker 1: has nothing at all to do with it. It's definitely

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Speaker 1: these other people. Yeah, it was something other than him

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Speaker 1: just being piste off sticking their dick everywhere in Russia's

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Speaker 1: sticking there. Yeah, that's one of those things. Is like

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Speaker 1: a kid I remember growing off, I was like, why

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Speaker 1: did my eleven happened? Mom was like, well, they were

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Speaker 1: angry at us for letting women be free and having alcoholics.

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Speaker 1: Like no, we keep bombing them. They just just whenever

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Speaker 1: we want, like this, this is going to be a

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Speaker 1: small tangent, we'll bring it back. But it could have

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Speaker 1: been any country that is screwed over by are just

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Speaker 1: tug of war with the other superpowers in the world.

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Speaker 1: All it took was just someone with the gumption and

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Speaker 1: just enough anger, and you have yourself in Osama bin Laden. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and that's like there, and there was probably a thousand

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Speaker 1: other people who had the same anger and similar plans

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Speaker 1: and just not the means. One of them happened to

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Speaker 1: be a rich kid who was like you know, had

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Speaker 1: established himself as a as a jihadi leader. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: um and he like it is if you look at

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Speaker 1: sort of the evolution of terrorism, like Osama fits right in.

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Speaker 1: Like in seventy two, when he was in middle school,

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Speaker 1: members of the Palestinian terror group Black September kidnapped a

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Speaker 1: bunch of Israeli athletes at the Olympics. It was the

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Speaker 1: biggest story in the world. People stopped caring and just

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Speaker 1: watching this terrorist thing. So it was like it was

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Speaker 1: like a lesson as a young man that like, oh,

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Speaker 1: media is the biggest thing about committing terrorism. Like that's

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Speaker 1: what's important. It doesn't matter how many people you kill.

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Speaker 1: It matters where you kill them and whether or not,

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Speaker 1: like it gets traction on the international news. Um and

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Speaker 1: you know, obviously bin Laden was good at getting traction

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Speaker 1: in the international news. By the end um and uh,

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Speaker 1: he established a press office in the early nineties, and

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Speaker 1: he sent out constant streams of messages and declarations in

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Speaker 1: his pre nine eleven years. The problem was nobody read them.

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Speaker 1: Some of this was down to the fact that he

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Speaker 1: sucked at writing titles. One article he sent out was

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Speaker 1: quote message to his Muslim brothers in the whole world

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Speaker 1: and especially in the Arabian Peninsula, which is not clickable. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: nobody's gonna tweet that ship, yeah at all, Like not

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Speaker 1: even you won't believe what happens next, Yeah, you won't

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Speaker 1: believe what I have to say to Muslim brothers in

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Speaker 1: the whole world and especially in the Arabian Peninsula. There

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Speaker 1: there you go. All right, well we'll pitch that to BuzzFeed.

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Speaker 1: Um In bin Lan moved to Afghanistan. Uh. He and

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Speaker 1: his colleagues were free here to like set up training

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Speaker 1: camps and practice openly with weaponry for a while. It

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Speaker 1: was a pretty cool time and profits and princes. Mark

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Speaker 1: Weston describes it. The machine guns his followers used were

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Speaker 1: mostly Russian and Chinese a K forty sevens, but also

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Speaker 1: included Israeli oozys and American. In sixteens, the militants learned

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Speaker 1: how to use dynamite, hand grenades, mortars, shoulder fired rockets,

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Speaker 1: C three and four explosives. Some nights they watched Hollywood

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Speaker 1: action movies, partly to relax, but also to gain tips.

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Speaker 1: That actually sounds like a pretty sweet life, like blowing

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Speaker 1: stuff up in the desert all day and watching action

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Speaker 1: movies at night. Like, I know, I love that they

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Speaker 1: use it for chips, because I'm sure those tips weren't

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Speaker 1: that great. A lot of terrorists holding guns sideways, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I used to imagine them watching True Lies and being

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Speaker 1: so on board for that. Oh yeah, that's what we

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Speaker 1: got it. We got to get us a harrier jet.

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Speaker 1: Watching die Hard, Die Hard, did nine eleven. He heard

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Speaker 1: it here, folks. Um. Yeah, Bin Laden was a computer guy.

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Speaker 1: He always had a computer with him because he was

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Speaker 1: a hipster. He used an old MacBook UM, which he

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Speaker 1: powered using an ancient gas generator that no one else

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Speaker 1: was allowed to use. UM. If you grew up in

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Speaker 1: the immediate post nine eleven period, you might remember like

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Speaker 1: those old diagrams of his fortress in Afghanistan where it

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Speaker 1: would show like he has all these different chambers and

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Speaker 1: munitions rooms and hydro electric generators. That was all lies. Um.

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Speaker 1: He had a mountain fortress, but it like wasn't a

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Speaker 1: G I. Joe set. It was just like a bunch

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Speaker 1: of caves with a shitty generator and a power book.

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Speaker 1: He spent nine eleven in a cave, barely able to

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Speaker 1: get a radio signal to here about the attacks. Um.

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Speaker 1: But when he fled Afghanistan, he brought a media truck

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Speaker 1: with him that had been upgraded with satellite TV receivers

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Speaker 1: in radio antenna, so he could monitor the news about

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Speaker 1: himself as it happened. That was always a priority of him.

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Speaker 1: He wanted to know what people were saying about him

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Speaker 1: and about the stuff that he was doing. UM. So

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Speaker 1: post nine eleven, bin Laden is officially famous, but he

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Speaker 1: still frets over his inability to connect with more people

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Speaker 1: on an intellectual level. Folks paid attention to his murders

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Speaker 1: but not his ideas, which is a problem all the

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Speaker 1: great Hartists have. Um when all kind of courier interviewed

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Speaker 1: by The Guardian in Pakistan stated, every time I took

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Speaker 1: a new tape, he told me how important my mission

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Speaker 1: was and how this time the Muslims of the world

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Speaker 1: would finally listen, and how I must absolutely deliver the

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Speaker 1: tape to the right people. Which if you've seen any

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Speaker 1: of those videos, it's just been loading talking to a

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Speaker 1: camera for hours. Like there's none of the flash the

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Speaker 1: ices videos where they've got like Dutch angles and see

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Speaker 1: that's where it's the next step that you have illusion there,

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Speaker 1: Like see the reason it didn't catch fires He never

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Speaker 1: took a course and after effects. Yeah, yeah, he didn't

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Speaker 1: have anybody who could do like speed ramping and stuff.

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Speaker 1: To like make it look cool. You got to put

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Speaker 1: that Ally mcbeel baby in it. That'll give people listening,

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Speaker 1: you know. Um, if you'd one way, it looks like

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Speaker 1: Osama kind of fell into the trap a lot of

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Speaker 1: celebrities wind up and where they sort of obsess over

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Speaker 1: media image and flip out every time they're misquoted or misinterpreted.

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Speaker 1: Um Osama strikes me as someone who, if he was

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Speaker 1: on Twitter, would be like James Woods, Um, just like

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Speaker 1: furious anytime somebody argues with him. Um. Obviously, he went

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Speaker 1: on the run when the US invaded Afghanistan even like

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Speaker 1: spent like five years in constant movement uh, successfully fleeing

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Speaker 1: from the most powerful war and surveillance apparatus ever conceived.

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Speaker 1: Then he moved to a compound in the suburb of

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Speaker 1: a Bodhabad, Pakistan in January if two thousand six, Um,

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Speaker 1: you don't stay hidden for five years in the compound

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Speaker 1: from the United States by staying connected to the internet obviously.

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Speaker 1: So his compound didn't even have a phone line, um,

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Speaker 1: but he still had access to the Internet, and it

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Speaker 1: was like the courier version of dial up Internet. So

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Speaker 1: he would type out emails to people and like a

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Speaker 1: word document, and he would save him onto a thumb

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Speaker 1: drive and then have a courier drive out to like

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Speaker 1: an internet cafe in another country or just miles and

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Speaker 1: miles and miles away and the courier would send those emails,

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Speaker 1: wait for responses, download them back to a drive, and

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Speaker 1: then drive back to ben Laden. Um. But he didn't

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Speaker 1: just do that with emails. He also, like would download

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Speaker 1: other things for bin Laden too. Um. Oh yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: a good spicy Yeah. So you know, you're sitting in

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Speaker 1: a compound that has no phone connection, no television, no

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Speaker 1: internet for five years, you're gonna get bored. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: ask people to download some stuff for you to watch. Uh,

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Speaker 1: And that's exactly what bin Laden did. An Associated Press

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Speaker 1: report on this manpowered internet connection noted that the courier

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Speaker 1: took other data back, which included, you know, everything you

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Speaker 1: can imagine, even pornography. Okay, do we have the type?

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Speaker 1: Do we have any info on the type? Well, so

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Speaker 1: that's a bit there. There has been a bit of

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Speaker 1: a battle over releasing what type of porn was on

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Speaker 1: Osamam and Lanza, because my guess is Simpson's cartoon porn.

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Speaker 1: It's it's weird how close you are. Um. Here's how

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Speaker 1: Reuter's reported on it when sort of the story first

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Speaker 1: broke quote the pornography recovered in bin Laden's compound in

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Speaker 1: a Bodabad Pakistan consists of modern electronically recorded video and

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Speaker 1: is fairly extensive. The officials said they were not yet

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Speaker 1: sure precisely where in the compound the pornography was discovered

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Speaker 1: or who had been viewing it. Specifically, these officials said

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Speaker 1: they did not know if been Lattin himself had acquired

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Speaker 1: or viewed the materials, so it's it's a mystery. We

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Speaker 1: know that the non pornographic videos and movies that he

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Speaker 1: had were about a hundred and sixty gigs worth, so

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Speaker 1: if they're saying that he had an extensive porn collection,

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Speaker 1: we can assume that the quantity of porn was substantial,

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Speaker 1: and the tens to hundreds of gigging its range. His

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Speaker 1: porn was apparently kept in a wooden box like we

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Speaker 1: all do. Yeah, and it was I shouldn't say his

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Speaker 1: point because we can't say for certainty who the porn

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Speaker 1: belonged to. And when I first heard that, I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so he's probably living in a house with like a

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Speaker 1: fucking hundred bodyguards or something like. There's probably like a

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Speaker 1: fucking company of guys there and who knows who it is?

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Speaker 1: But no, no, no, there were three other men in

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Speaker 1: the house with him twenty three year old son and

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Speaker 1: his two uh couriers who were both in their thirties.

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Speaker 1: So that's a minimum chance that the porn has been

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Speaker 1: Laudon's poem. I'm gonna knock it up to because I

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Speaker 1: feel like the couriers, they have access to the internet cafe,

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Speaker 1: they can go, they go, they can go masturbate away

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Speaker 1: from the can they don't. They can use that time.

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Speaker 1: You know, you go to a internet cafe one about

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Speaker 1: three am, it's partially empty. The guy in the front,

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Speaker 1: he's like falling asleeps curriers and just make sure they

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Speaker 1: have loose fitting hands. They do what they do. So

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Speaker 1: it says either his son or him maybe both. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So that's We're gonna go back and forth on this

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Speaker 1: because I've got more details trivial. I've spent probably a

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Speaker 1: good two days just trying to figure out who did

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Speaker 1: the porn, and maybe it's everybody's maybe like they maybe

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Speaker 1: they had like a fucking like a note on the

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Speaker 1: fridge that was like just write down, Okay, you want

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Speaker 1: you know, uh ladies spanking each other like part nine

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Speaker 1: and uh you want some of that boukaki stuff and yeah,

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Speaker 1: you want you want the Mickey Mouse porn. Okay, when

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Speaker 1: we'll get some of the Mickey Mouse porn on there,

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Speaker 1: like yeah, oh yeah, that's that you know prison rules?

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah that that that might make sense to um. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: the CIA knows the answer to the question because they

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Speaker 1: know where the hard drives were found. So like, if

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Speaker 1: the porn was in Osama's bedroom, then we know what

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Speaker 1: it is. It was in one of his courier's bedroom,

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Speaker 1: then maybe it's a currier it was in his son's bedroom.

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Speaker 1: But they're not telling anyone. Um. They seem to have

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Speaker 1: a weird dedication to hiding the truth whatever it is

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Speaker 1: about Osama's porn. We didn't even know for sure it

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Speaker 1: existed until May of two fifteen, when the Office of

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Speaker 1: James Clapper, Director of National Intelligence, confirmed that quote some

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Speaker 1: point a graphic material had been recovered during the raid

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Speaker 1: that killed Bin latin Um. Clapper spokesman noted, we are

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Speaker 1: not going to release these materials due to the nature

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Speaker 1: of their contents. Um. So. In two thousand and fifteen,

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Speaker 1: noted journalistic Paragon bro Bible filed a freedom of information

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Speaker 1: request with CIA. Wro bro Bible doing hard hitting journalism.

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Speaker 1: Here is a quote from their request, we are adults.

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Speaker 1: We can handle it. We would like to know what

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Speaker 1: kind of porn the world's most wanted man jerked it too.

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Speaker 1: Does being under the constant threat of capture require extra stimulation?

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Speaker 1: I imagine it would be hard for him to focus

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Speaker 1: on his dick, So I figured he had to watch

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Speaker 1: some really nasty ship. Um, so so fun because I

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Speaker 1: was half expecting me Probible. They're like, this is an

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Speaker 1: official request from the government that you know they're gonna

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Speaker 1: they're gonna have a little bit of professionalism. Nope, they

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Speaker 1: went the full Probible. They are consistently pro Bible. You

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Speaker 1: gotta say that for them. Um, they have a brand

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Speaker 1: to protect, because what if the CIA released that request

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Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, we don't look, bro, we don't

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Speaker 1: look that's not bro enough. Oh my gosh. Shockingly, the

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Speaker 1: CIA did not respond positive leave to this professionally worded

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Speaker 1: information request. They refused to send over bin Lawton's pornography,

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Speaker 1: saying quote with regard to the pornographic material Osama bin

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Speaker 1: Lawton hadn't his possession at the time of his death,

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Speaker 1: responsive records, should they exist, would be contained in the

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Speaker 1: operational files and the CIA is not required to disclose

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Speaker 1: operational files UH during f o i A requests, and

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Speaker 1: operational files include files that either talk about how foreign

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Speaker 1: intelligence or counterintelligence programs work. So basically, if it will

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Speaker 1: give away something we do and intelligence, they don't have

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Speaker 1: to reveal it, or if it will give away a

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Speaker 1: foreign government or terrorist groups scheme that we don't, the

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Speaker 1: CIA doesn't let them to know they've cut onto they

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Speaker 1: don't have to release it, which brings me to my

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Speaker 1: first conspiracy theory of the day. Uh And then is

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Speaker 1: the theory that al Qaeda's leadership was using coded pornographic

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Speaker 1: videos to communicate with each other and disseminate information around

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Speaker 1: the world. Here is a quote from an MSNBC article.

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Speaker 1: At the time, US officials had pursued a probe into

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Speaker 1: whether al Qaeda was using special software that would allow

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Speaker 1: the email transition of porn photos implanted with hidden messages

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Speaker 1: that could be deciphered by recipients with the right code.

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Speaker 1: We thought this was the way that messages were being transmitted,

401
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Speaker 1: said one official. It sounds crazy, but if true, it

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Speaker 1: actually makes a lot of sense. Gehaties are sort of

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Speaker 1: notorious for having huge amounts of porn on their laptops.

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Speaker 1: Chael Flynn, Uh, the totally not disgraced the National Security Advisor,

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Speaker 1: said that some of the laptops they recovered from these

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Speaker 1: guys were porn. While this sounds like a nutty theory,

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Speaker 1: in two thousand and twelve, police in Berlin arrested to

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Speaker 1: twenty two year old Austrian with a digital storage device

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Speaker 1: and memory cards hidden in his underpants. Which, let's if

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Speaker 1: you're if you're smuggling Al Qaeda porn into another country,

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Speaker 1: don't put it in your underpants. Like nobody's gonna see

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Speaker 1: like a laptop and a thumb drive and think that's suspicious.

413
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Speaker 1: But if they find it in your underwear, it's immediately suspicious.

414
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 1: Like that's the worst way to do that. The first

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Speaker 1: law of being a cop is that anything in someone's

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Speaker 1: underwear is illegal. Yeah, so we're about to break so

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Speaker 1: we can sing a song for Lady Capitalism and uh.

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Speaker 1: Then when we get back, we're going to talk about

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Speaker 1: what the German police found in that young man's underpants drives. Uh,

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Speaker 1: and then we're going to get into exactly what Osama

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Speaker 1: bin Laden was watching, playing and maybe fiddling his diddle

422
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Speaker 1: too while he was hiding in a boat a bad

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Speaker 1: But first, uh some capitalism from me, and we are back.

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Speaker 1: We are back, and we are talking about al Qaeda's

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Speaker 1: plan to hide operational messages in pornography and the twenty

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Speaker 1: two year old arrested in Berlin with a digital storage

427
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:26,120
Speaker 1: device hidden in his underwear. Uh So, the authorities find

428
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 1: the stuff and his underwear decide to look into it.

429
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 1: They find a bunch of stuff, including a password protected

430
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 1: folder that includes a bunch of porn. One of those

431
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: porn videos was titled kick Ass, and hidden inside the

432
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 1: porn video they found another file called Sexy Tanya and

433
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,919
Speaker 1: this file, when opened, included more than a hundred unencrypted

434
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 1: al Qaeda documents detailing everything from operational procedures to plans

435
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: for future attacks. Um So, it was like they were basically,

436
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 1: because videos are so big, you can actually like hide

437
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: a folder of text documents inside of it without it

438
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 1: being super obvious. And so that's what they were actually doing.

439
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: Um So, it's possible that some of the porn station

440
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,520
Speaker 1: about a bad was meant for clandestine communication. Um but

441
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: it also sounds like there's way too much of it

442
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 1: for that to be the only reason. And more to

443
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: the point it's not quite true to say that we

444
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: don't know anything about the kind of porn that in

445
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 1: the Bin Latten compound. Some of it managed to slip

446
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 1: through the CIA as well Silence. On November one, two

447
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 1: thousand seventeen, the CIA released four hundred and seventy thousand

448
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: of the files that were found during the raid that

449
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 1: killed Bin Latten. These files represent the collective mass of

450
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 1: a hundred thumb drives and ten external hard drives. The

451
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 1: CIA's lists cut out most of the porn, but they

452
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,359
Speaker 1: didn't get all of it. Included in the collection that

453
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: you can find right now on the CIA's website were

454
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 1: two very old, very smutty video games, Paris Stryker Girls

455
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 1: in Fantasy. I think you would classify them both as

456
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 1: weird old Japanese porn games. They weren't the kind of complex,

457
00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,159
Speaker 1: weird Japanese porn video games where you plays the principle

458
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: of like a vampire high school and you have to

459
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 1: fund all of your children before the full moon or whatever. Um.

460
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,360
Speaker 1: The basic premise of both games is that you hover

461
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 1: around a map, avoiding gagoose while you gradually uncover crudely

462
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 1: sustrated drawings and pictures of nude and semi nude women.

463
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 1: Presumably most players masturbate once they've uncovered the whole image.

464
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 1: I feel like I just have to show you these

465
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,680
Speaker 1: because you won't understand how bizarre they are. I mean,

466
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 1: I'm interested to see the kindie has, but I'm very,

467
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:18,919
Speaker 1: very familiar with anti dating, since these are not that complicated.

468
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:30,479
Speaker 1: All right, Yeah, yeah, it's like an ony head in

469
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 1: the middle, and it seems like they're making squares, They're

470
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: they're making moves, they're making good moves, uncovering gay Like

471
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 1: the best way to describe this would be, you know,

472
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: like when people try and make a full two D

473
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: picture but with eight bit technology. Yeah. Oh, and she's

474
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 1: just scantily clashed. It's not even nude. This one's not nude.

475
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,439
Speaker 1: Oh wow. So both of those games are like that,

476
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:02,920
Speaker 1: and some of them may are nude. I'm showing you

477
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 1: a picture here. It's like the uncovered picture there and

478
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: you can see your breasts. Uh so it's some of

479
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: them are nudes. It's clearly like the kind of porn

480
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 1: video game that you would play in nineteen because nothing

481
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 1: better exists, you know, like those uh those playing cards

482
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:21,400
Speaker 1: that are you know veterans would jerk off to Yeah,

483
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 1: it's similar to that. Yeah, it's it's yeah. And I

484
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 1: have a theory. I think that these smutty video games

485
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 1: from the mid nineties actually hold the secret of who

486
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 1: all of the porn and the porn stash belonged to.

487
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,640
Speaker 1: So we know that the point exists. We just don't

488
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,199
Speaker 1: know if it was beIN Lawton's or you know, his

489
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 1: kids or his uh couriers. Um. I think that these

490
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 1: games are proof that the porn might have belonged to

491
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 1: Ben Lawton because Paristroker Girls in Fantasy ninety five we're

492
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 1: both made respectively. Been Lawton would have been a mature

493
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,080
Speaker 1: adult when they both came out, with the potential to

494
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: have access to the Internet and with the ability to

495
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 1: have access to computers and video games. His son would

496
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 1: have only been six or seven years old at the time.

497
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna guess if his son had porn video games,

498
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 1: he would have had like Leasures, Yeah, yeah, something a

499
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,199
Speaker 1: little bit more advanced. Um, these are deep cuts for

500
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: smut games. These aren't like these aren't anybody's first pick.

501
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 1: So I have to think there's something he came across

502
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,240
Speaker 1: when he was a young man and was like never

503
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 1: got over Yeah, yeah, you know, like that one vid

504
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,159
Speaker 1: that you saw when you were in your teens and

505
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,400
Speaker 1: you're like, let me, let me see that again. Let's

506
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 1: revisit that. Yeah. I think this is that for ben Laden.

507
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: The other possibilities that it was one of his couriers.

508
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,400
Speaker 1: They were thirty and thirty three, respectively at the time

509
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: of the raids, so they could have been fourteen or seventeen.

510
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 1: The youngest of them who would have been fourteen when

511
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: these games came out, Abu Ahmed al KUWAITI gave computer

512
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,200
Speaker 1: training to other Jihati, so he was computer savvy. Um,

513
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: so this might have been his. But it's pretty much

514
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,119
Speaker 1: down to either him or oh b l And considering

515
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: he was an Afghan kid who grew up speaking Poshtu

516
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: and moved to Kuwait as a younger person, I mean,

517
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 1: I guess he didn't have a lot of money at

518
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 1: age fourteen and wasn't playing on the computer. We'll never

519
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 1: know for sure, but we do have some pictures have

520
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 1: been latten at the time, and he looks like a

521
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 1: man who spent his golden years weekly jerking off to

522
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 1: pixelated breasts. I mean, oh yeah, like he he has

523
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: that nerd Pancho which is your your comforter for your body,

524
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: and a beanie on that is a sad old man's

525
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: masturbation king. Yeah. These pictures are all available from the

526
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: on the CIA, but we will also be hosting all

527
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: of these pictures, uh and links to where you can

528
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 1: find the CIA's files on Behind the Bastards dot com

529
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,879
Speaker 1: so you can watch Ben Lawden's weird point obsession along

530
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: with us. UM, we're gonna move on from porn for

531
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: now though, although there's a little bit more of that

532
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 1: coming later. UM. I've spent a truly terrifying amount of

533
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 1: time coming through the files the CIA did release, and

534
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 1: the stuff that's there is actually more baffling than his

535
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,680
Speaker 1: mythical porn stash could ever hope to be. First off,

536
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 1: I'd like to read a selection of the copyrighted works

537
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 1: the CIA found ants with the z yeah oh yeah,

538
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah yeah yeah, the Woody Allen Bugs Life

539
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 1: rip off yeah, which blatant Yeah yeah, I love that.

540
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,920
Speaker 1: He would have been I'm surprised we didn't find the

541
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 1: movie on there. It might have been after he was killed. Um,

542
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 1: but he had Batman Gotham Knight, which is interesting. BBC's

543
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 1: Great Wildlife Moments, which I guess everybody likes a wildlife

544
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: documentary also means possible stoner. Also possible stoner biography Osama

545
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 1: bin Laden, So he was watching documentaries about himself cars,

546
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: so no bugs life, but he went with but he

547
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 1: went with cars, No bugs life is the symbol of

548
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 1: the decadent American regime or something. Maybe ANTS is more

549
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,479
Speaker 1: his ideological So that's yeah, that's a that's a medium

550
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: post for someone listening because ANTS is about overthrowing, uh,

551
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 1: like military technocracy, so dictatorship forming in a yeah, so

552
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 1: I can see that chicken Little um. CNN presents World's

553
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: Most Wanted, which also focused on Ben Laden Final Fantasy

554
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: seven something me and ben Laden have in common. Heroes

555
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 1: of Tomorrow, which I don't know what that is. Home

556
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 1: on the Range ice Age, don of the Dinosaurs. Man,

557
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,439
Speaker 1: these choices, these choices in the footsteps of Ben Laden.

558
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 1: CNN documentary National Geographic Kung Fu Killers, National Geographic Inside

559
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 1: the Green Berets, National Geographic Predators at War, which makes

560
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 1: sense because they're they're trying to kill you with drones.

561
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: You probably want to watch a doc uh, And then

562
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 1: National Geographic World's Worst Venom, which between that and the

563
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: Kung Fu Killers, I feel like he was planning another

564
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: attack with like kung Fu fighters and bees with rattlesnake

565
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: send down ninjas with venom tipped shurkins, and he was

566
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 1: gonna That's how he was gonna take us out. Lucky

567
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 1: Louise stopped him, thank god. A documentary on Peru, the

568
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: movie Resident Evil, which makes me feel a little bit

569
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: sorry for him if that was one of the things

570
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 1: he had to watch. Um, the Three Musketeers, and of

571
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 1: course the Morgan Spurlock documentary Where in the World is

572
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:17,560
Speaker 1: a Samamin Laden? Um? So yeah, that it was just

573
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 1: pure narcissism, like you start to get cocky after they

574
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 1: don't catch it for seven or look look at I'm

575
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 1: just here masturbating the old nineties games. Um. Once the

576
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: CIA released Everything, nerds on Twitter set to work trying

577
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 1: to discover bin Laden shared any fandoms with them. They

578
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,640
Speaker 1: found a distinct preference for anime, uh including Naruto Shaputin,

579
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: Psycho Ninja Daishu five, which I'm guessing as a Naruto thing.

580
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: I know, I don't know that second, I don't know

581
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: what the rest of it is. But they were like

582
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: Arabic dubbs of which again might have been been Laden's.

583
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: It might have been one of his nerdy couriers, might

584
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: have been his kid, no way for us to know exactly. Um.

585
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 1: They found more realms of video games, including a save

586
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: file from Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars. That was the gym.

587
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 1: That was the gym. Yeah, so he had like emulators

588
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 1: and stuff, and it was a bad dump file, so

589
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,960
Speaker 1: it wasn't a good emulator. Like, so whoever was downloading

590
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: this stuff wasn't great at it. Um. Now, anyway, you

591
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: may all not know this, but I am actually a

592
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: professional journalist, and so when I saw the cia S

593
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: dump file, I immediately started investigating too. The first search

594
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,560
Speaker 1: term I entered was the word ass. I found one

595
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 1: file titled as two dot w m A, but for

596
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 1: the research indicated this was just a weirdly named file

597
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: for a g Hotty video. Uh. There was an ass

598
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: with three sas dot jpeg. But it wasn't as exciting

599
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: as I had hoped. It was like an Arabic image

600
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: macro joke with like a cell phone. Um. So, so

601
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 1: far I was kind of disappointed. But then I searched

602
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: for butt, and I descended into a yarn wrapped hole

603
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: of madness, but did not turn up any pornography. But

604
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: it did bring up a file called the Art of

605
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: Crochet by Teresa Radiant Crochet Butterfly, where the butt came from.

606
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: This has turned out to be one of dozens of

607
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,239
Speaker 1: crochet videos found on a Solomon Lawden's hard drive. As

608
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: far as I can tell, many of these videos are

609
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 1: by Teresa Warrior, a semi popular crochet expert who puts

610
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: up regular videos on YouTube. To this day, most of

611
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: her videos get sixty to two thousand views, so she's

612
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: moderately popular. Um. This has led to one of my

613
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,719
Speaker 1: favorite bin Laden related happenings. Random commenters descended on Teresa's

614
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 1: videos to let her know Sam bin Laden was a

615
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: fan because the CIA released the list stuff last November,

616
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 1: so like, as soon as it happened, people are like

617
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: telling this lady what happened. And if you go through

618
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 1: your ARCI her archive of like all of her videos,

619
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: you'll find a bunch of commenters being like, congrats on

620
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 1: being on Ben Lad's hard drive and stuff. And I

621
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,480
Speaker 1: found the YouTube comment thread where she first learns about

622
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 1: this and it's utterly bizarre. So I'm just I'm gonna

623
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: read this comment thread. Chris Wilson is the comment. Hi, Teresa,

624
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: I thought you would like to know that the file

625
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 1: for this video appears within the CIA's published directory of

626
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 1: Osama bin Laden's computer files. Have a nice day, just

627
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 1: a weird way if oh man, Teresa responded, thanks, Chris,

628
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: exclamation point, exclamation point. That is pretty cool that Osama

629
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 1: bin Laden his wives and children like to watch my

630
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 1: YouTube channel. I wish the bin Osama bin Laden's family

631
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: well and hope they're still croche. She doesn't know who

632
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: Osama bin Laden is. Do you think they will talk

633
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: about this on any TV or the news programs? Theresa, Theresa,

634
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 1: get out of there. It was like, no, we we

635
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 1: killed a lot of we killed a son. Like his

636
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,640
Speaker 1: wives are probably not doing great either right now. I

637
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: hope the next replies like, yeah, they actually captured it

638
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: on this movie called Zero Dark thirty. Chris responded, Only

639
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: time can tell, and I'm sure they are still at it.

640
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: They're still crochet. Perhaps a video dedicated to him will

641
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: get their attention. I'm sure countless subscribers of yours would

642
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:58,200
Speaker 1: love to learn how to crochet Osama's likeness to oh

643
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 1: no to response, you mean like I did the Barack

644
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: Obama crochet? You think they would like your crochet some

645
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 1: in Lot No, Teresa, Absolutely, Teresa. What are you doing? Teresa?

646
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 1: You're in too deep. The Internet is wonderful. Bring you

647
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: bring your head up, prayer, Teresa. So. Um. A lot

648
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: of the videos and PDFs and JPEG's on the dump

649
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: files or what you'd expect. There's videos like shelling US

650
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: embassy in the Green Zone with two Katusha rockets, videos

651
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: of convoys being bombed, and stuff US military handbooks, long

652
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 1: religious tracks, exactly what you'd expect of Lot to have

653
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 1: on his hard drive. But there's also a lot of

654
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 1: weird stuff. There's a documentary called sex Crimes in the Vatican,

655
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: and the entirety of a fifteen part BBC documentary called

656
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,520
Speaker 1: The History of Britain, which is just an in depth

657
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 1: history of Britain. Um, here's here's a here's um. I'm

658
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: gonna put my fourteen year old cap from for all

659
00:33:57,440 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: these weird videos. Look, sometimes you look at any documentary

660
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 1: about sex, you can get some extra jerk material in there.

661
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 1: You can get some extras, some sneaking. There was one

662
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 1: I think HBO or Showtime had this like show that

663
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: was like Sex around the World, and it was like

664
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: all the weird sex stuff around the world, and it

665
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,840
Speaker 1: was like presented as a comedy, but since it was

666
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: like late night HBO, it was uncensored. So I was like,

667
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 1: you know, I'd saved him all the vhs, so your

668
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 1: your theory is that his sex crimes in the Vatican.

669
00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 1: He was like, well, maybe maybe they might show a

670
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 1: little thing, you know in there. Well I bet he

671
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: was disappointed, very disappointed. Um. One of the neat things

672
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: about the CIA's archive is that all of the stuff

673
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 1: that they have on there, like you can download for

674
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,320
Speaker 1: yourself that whole BBC documentary series because it's all on

675
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 1: the CIA's website. Um, so yeah, they've like released a

676
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,360
Speaker 1: bunch of stuff Like ants isn't on there. They just

677
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: let you know what was on his heart they did.

678
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: They didn't put ants up for they didn't put ants up.

679
00:34:58,040 --> 00:34:59,719
Speaker 1: What I was gonna jump to was like, wow, I

680
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 1: can see ants through the CIA. I did get really excited,

681
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,040
Speaker 1: um when I found what I thought might have been

682
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 1: hidden porn in the dump file, a video titled zom

683
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 1: women managed underscore video dot RM. I figured it had

684
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 1: to be like a manage video, what else could that,

685
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: But instead it was a thirty minute long lecture featuring

686
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,359
Speaker 1: a guy who looks like Dom DeLuise if he were

687
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 1: a choronic scholar. Yeah that's yeah, yeah, that's Dom DeLuise

688
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:30,880
Speaker 1: as an Islamic religious expert. Um. Anyway, uh, speaking of

689
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,399
Speaker 1: false positives, I also came across a YouTube rip file

690
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: titled girls Fight, which again seems like that might have

691
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,280
Speaker 1: been porn. It turned out to be a thirty second

692
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 1: video of two little girls maybe three years old, actually

693
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 1: fighting each other, like pulling heron's, shoving and stuff. I

694
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 1: think it was like a viral internet video for some

695
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: part of the world because they weren't speaking English. Um.

696
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,959
Speaker 1: It was weird, but probably not porn. Um. But Laden

697
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 1: seemed to have a preference for documentaries in his old age,

698
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: including a Nova special called Welcome to the Eleventh Dimension

699
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: that was about complicated theoretical physics ship. He had another

700
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 1: Nova documentary on string theory. Um. So he was nerding

701
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 1: out on physics, which is again surprising for Ben Laden.

702
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 1: After a few hours of coming through the videos, you

703
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,359
Speaker 1: start to get the sense that bin Laden was one

704
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 1: of those parents. He uses YouTube to help him raise

705
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: his kids, which is why I gonna guess he had

706
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: cars and ants and stuff. He also downloaded YouTube videos

707
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 1: that were like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, English learning videos

708
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 1: for kids, that sort of thing. He also downloaded a

709
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: lot of internet meme videos. My favorite is this bizarre

710
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 1: video of a baboon freeing itself from the jaws of

711
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: a crocodile um, which I don't know if we need

712
00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: to watch, we might as well. You should might as

713
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 1: well see that. Don might as well see what that's

714
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: talking about. If it were ahead, Got you sacrificed idiot

715
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 1: trying to eat? Not an option here? Did the baboon

716
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: claw the crocs eye? Oh yeah, I imagine he would

717
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 1: showed his son the videos like people are going to

718
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:02,839
Speaker 1: have your back, so you've got to be able to

719
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: get out. We can't have the jaws of life yourself

720
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 1: claw America's eyes out to escape its mouth out. All right,

721
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: we are going to break again to uh do some

722
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 1: more ads for things that you can buy and uh

723
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:25,840
Speaker 1: spend money on and keep this glorious cycle going so

724
00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 1: that we can make more podcasts and tell you more

725
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,919
Speaker 1: things to buy. Uh, But when we come back, we're

726
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: going to talk about Tom and Jerry and more to

727
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 1: the point, the weird nineteen nineties, very nerdy card game

728
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 1: that somehow intersects with some of Bin Laden and the

729
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 1: nine eleven attacks. So all of that and more. After

730
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 1: some ads boop and we're back. Uh, we're back, and

731
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 1: we're talking about the contents of osaman Laden's many hard

732
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: drive lives. We've gone through a lot of weird stuff

733
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 1: so far. But one of the strangest things that I

734
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:08,720
Speaker 1: came across while I was spending an entire week browsing

735
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:12,800
Speaker 1: osaoman Laden's media folders was something like a hundred episodes

736
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 1: of Tom and Jerry. Tom and Jerry episodes are by

737
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 1: far the most common type of video content I found

738
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:21,359
Speaker 1: on Osama's hard drives. Um, Like, if you just want

739
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 1: to have all of Tom and Jerry for yourself, you

740
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 1: can download Tom and Jerry from the CIA as well.

741
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 1: They're closing the grip on the ants. Yeah, they're they're

742
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: keeping a tight hold on ants, but they're letting Tom

743
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: and Jerry out to the world. Um, which I guess,

744
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 1: go figure. Um. I kind of assumed at first that

745
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: the videos were for one of his, like like his

746
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: daughter or something. But the more I thought about it,

747
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: the more it made sense to me that bin Laden

748
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: would be a fan of cartoons where a wily, cunning,

749
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 1: tiny mouse consistently outwits and brutalizes a larger, more powerful cat.

750
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 1: Um Again, it's kind of like the crocodile thing, Like

751
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 1: I can imagine him like looking at this and being like, yeah,

752
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,440
Speaker 1: that's me. Yeah, I'm Tom. I'm gonna fucking hit America

753
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 1: with a hammer run into a tiny hole, which is

754
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: kind of what he did. Um So earlier in the podcast,

755
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 1: I mentioned that someone in the bin Laden compound was

756
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,760
Speaker 1: an anime fan. Uh Gizmoto actually did a pretty decent

757
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 1: dive into this with an article titled someone at Osaman

758
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 1: Laton's Compound sure loved anime. They found a file with

759
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:23,880
Speaker 1: what to me looked like a nonsense name, which but

760
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 1: just munch of numbers and letters, and then Msalm's dash Anime.

761
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 1: It was an MP four file, but it turns out

762
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: that im psalms dash anime dot net is an Arabic

763
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 1: language anime form in Saudi Arabia. This form includes a

764
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: lot of fan translations of various animals, and the only

765
00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: one that this could be was from an episode of

766
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 1: the series Detective Conan, also known as Case Closed in

767
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,960
Speaker 1: the US. Twelve episodes of Detective Conan were included on

768
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: the drives. The quote from the Gizmodo article here in short,

769
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 1: a computer recovered at the last place, so Salm bin

770
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 1: Laden was alive. Contained at least a dozen non consecutive

771
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 1: episodes of an animated show from Japan in which a

772
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 1: boy detective solves rhimes. Oh yeah, I remember that show.

773
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:05,520
Speaker 1: It was an adult swims. He's actually a man, but

774
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:07,640
Speaker 1: a spell was put on him and he turns into

775
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: a little boy. Thank you for that, Just just for context.

776
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 1: He wanted turning turn He turns into a little boy,

777
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 1: much like what happened in Laden. Yeah. So these drives

778
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: also included some more porn, but anime porn. Uh, an

779
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: episode of an anime. I'm just gonna pause you. It's

780
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 1: called hint I. Okay, it's anti different hint It's not

781
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 1: an anime porn. It's hint tie. Well, okay, so maybe

782
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: you'll tell me, you tell me if this, if this

783
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 1: seems like HINTI, you're just like erotic anime. Like it's

784
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 1: called Bible Black. Oh that's that is I bit I

785
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: constantly do, which is it is a very brutal hintie

786
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: Bible Black. Yeah, it takes place in the world where

787
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 1: there's a lot of witchcraft in there, and like there's

788
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 1: like lots of weird aspects to this hint i because

789
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 1: like you know, some women they grow penises, some you know, explode,

790
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 1: like the people are getting murdered. It's a Bible Black

791
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:10,720
Speaker 1: is a very popular hintai. It is hint oh shit, Okay,

792
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:12,399
Speaker 1: so you're aware of what this is. Oh yeah, I've

793
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 1: seen Bible Black. Okay. So one of thinks me and

794
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:21,280
Speaker 1: Bin Loton have in common is the other one, okay,

795
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:27,879
Speaker 1: fantasy seven. Um, So this kind of narrows down. I mean,

796
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily narrow it on the rest of the

797
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: porn because I feel like a lot of different people

798
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:33,280
Speaker 1: put in requests for or everyone in the comment probably

799
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:37,319
Speaker 1: put in some requests. But this was a translation of

800
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:42,399
Speaker 1: an episode of Bible Black. He wanted the story interesting, yeah,

801
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,320
Speaker 1: he wanted this well. It was like it was like

802
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,360
Speaker 1: an Arabic dub of it, translation of it or whatever. Um.

803
00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 1: And so the anime form. The Aapules from was a

804
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: Saudi anime form in the two couriers were both Afghan

805
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: natives whose native language was Pashtu, so I assume they

806
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: spoke Arabic but not native speakers, which makes me think

807
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,320
Speaker 1: that this hint I had to be either been Laden

808
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:07,919
Speaker 1: or his sons, both of whom were Saudi's and native

809
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 1: Arabic speakers. That's my that's my read here is that

810
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,919
Speaker 1: the hint i has either been Laden's or his sons.

811
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 1: So that's where we are so far with that mystery. Um,

812
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 1: you can lose a lot of hours and they been

813
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: latton archive and it is it's not uncommon to run

814
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 1: across videos about like American women and Jewish men converting

815
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 1: to Islam, right alongside funny cat videos from YouTube. He

816
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 1: seemed to have a thing for funny cat videos, which

817
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,840
Speaker 1: we all did. Yeah. Um, there's a number of saved

818
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,760
Speaker 1: game files for Nintendo games like Marrow and Luigi, Partners

819
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:41,800
Speaker 1: in Time and Metroid Prime Hunters. Yeah. Um. I suspect

820
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: these were Forbin Laden's son Um because of a quote

821
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,800
Speaker 1: I found in the Looming Tower where he basically points

822
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 1: out that when they were hiding out in Afghanistan and board.

823
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 1: He would let his younger sons playing Nintendo because it

824
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:55,720
Speaker 1: would entertain them. The guests the Nintendo games were probably

825
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 1: been Lawton's kid. Well, he goes out back and check

826
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 1: out Bible black Yeah, Somemoman Latons furiously pounding it to

827
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: Witchcraft anime. Yeah. Um. So there are some really strange

828
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 1: things in the video archive and you could just go

829
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: through and click them and download all these different random files.

830
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 1: Most of them will have names that you can't quite

831
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 1: parse out what they're about. Um, and it's all very strange.

832
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 1: One video is just a thirty second clip of a

833
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: guy walking through a muddy yard. It looks like the

834
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 1: kind of when you're figuring out your cam quarter and

835
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:32,760
Speaker 1: you're like try like it looks like that sort of video. Um.

836
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: One is a three minute clip of Ron Paul talking

837
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,240
Speaker 1: about how the War on Terror was a bad idea,

838
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 1: which is I feel about that? Of course? Run Paul

839
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 1: wound up in the Salomon Ltons archive. Um. There's a

840
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: discussion with an Islamic cleric about video games. Um. There's

841
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,800
Speaker 1: a British ad for cyclist safety that asks you to

842
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,480
Speaker 1: watch how many passes a group of basketball players make

843
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,799
Speaker 1: and there's like a moonwalking bear that runs through in

844
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: the middle and like, if you're focusing on the passes,

845
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 1: you don't see the bear. And then it pauses and says, okay,

846
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: did you count the passes right? Did you see the bear?

847
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,240
Speaker 1: And it was like it was like a cyclists safety video,

848
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 1: but it they downloaded it from a site called a

849
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: bunawaft dot com, which seems to be like the Eboum's

850
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:16,760
Speaker 1: World of the Arabic Yeah, parts of the planet. Um.

851
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 1: Then I found a video of a journalist being beheaded. Uh.

852
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 1: And then I found right after that followed a wild ride.

853
00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: You went on, like what a wild ride? You're like, okay,

854
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,720
Speaker 1: we got some Bible black Oh, this is kind of funny.

855
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: Oh dear god. Um. And then right after the beheading video, yeah,

856
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: it was follow Me, which is a British TV show

857
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: dedicated to teaching people how to speak English through like

858
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 1: lame Monty python type sketches. Oh man. And then I

859
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 1: ran into Pigeon Impossible, a six minute animated movie from

860
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 1: two thousand nine about a secret agent with a nuclear

861
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 1: briefcase and a pigeon. I hate that. I'm gonna get

862
00:44:52,239 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 1: stone and watch that later from the you can download

863
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,359
Speaker 1: it from the CIA's website. It's going to be just

864
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 1: really fueling. If you are too poor for a net licks,

865
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,919
Speaker 1: the CIA has your back right now with a very

866
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 1: specific type of content. UM. My favorite thing from the archive, however,

867
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,880
Speaker 1: is not a video or a save game file or pornography.

868
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 1: It's an issue of a newsletter titled smoking Gun Proof

869
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 1: the Illuminati Plan to bring down our culture. It was

870
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 1: written by the Cutting Edge, which is like a hardcore

871
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,839
Speaker 1: Christian organization. Uh, they have newsletters in a website, they

872
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 1: put out books. The big deal seems to be prepping

873
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 1: people from the New World Order, which they've done since

874
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,359
Speaker 1: the early days of the internet. They're still around today

875
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 1: and still claiming the ends night, just as they were

876
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,360
Speaker 1: when Bush was in office. They've written like books about

877
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: how Harry Potter is trying to like convert kids to

878
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 1: witchcraft and stuff like they're they're those people. And this

879
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 1: particular document, which as far as I can tell, is

880
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 1: the only document of theirs that been Loaden had in

881
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 1: his possession UM, is a far right tract claiming that

882
00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,080
Speaker 1: the end of the world is coming, the Antichrist is

883
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: about to be born and usher in a liberal fascist

884
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,840
Speaker 1: health state, and the clues to all this to the

885
00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: Illuminatis plot were laid down an card game published by

886
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:06,839
Speaker 1: Steve Jackson Games called Illuminati New World Order. No. As

887
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: you may know, Steve Jackson Games are the guys who

888
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 1: make Munchkin. Uh. They make great games, wonderful company uh

889
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 1: in Nile working on a cyberpunk game. Their offices were

890
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: rated by the FBI. It had something to do with

891
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: it. It It is. It is a wacky s story. It

892
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 1: had something to do with ship. They were writing about

893
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: hacking for like a basically this shadow run D and

894
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,080
Speaker 1: D style type game. Um, it's a long story, like

895
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,279
Speaker 1: all of their computers were confiscated by the FBI. They

896
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: had to like fight the bureau to get their ship

897
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: back and almost bankrupted the company. Um. But shortly after

898
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: all that happened, in like nine three, they released a

899
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 1: card game called Illuminati, which is Have you ever read

900
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: the Illuminatus trilogy. It's by a guy named Robert Anton

901
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 1: Wilson another guy named Robert sha who were like both

902
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 1: editors at Playboy, and it's it's a silly book, gigantic

903
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 1: silly book about like what if all of the conspiracy

904
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 1: theories and history were simultaneously true, even the ones that

905
00:46:53,920 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 1: conflict each other. So it's like that kind of wackiness,

906
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 1: and the card game is based in that. So you

907
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 1: take uh control of a conspiracy like the Followers of

908
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:05,479
Speaker 1: Cathulhu or the Bankers of Zuricher like one of these

909
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 1: global conspiracies, and everyone picks a different conspiracy and he

910
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 1: fight it out with cards like George Bush, the c

911
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: i A, the Pulitzer Prize, like all these different like

912
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,919
Speaker 1: things that, Yeah, so you're basically building a conspiracy. They've

913
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 1: got like cards that are mind control lasers and stuff. Uh,

914
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 1: the game is a really light tone. There's a Hillary

915
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,960
Speaker 1: Clinton card and it she's holding like a rope and

916
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,359
Speaker 1: it's attached to if you pull up the Bill Clinton card,

917
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 1: it's attached to a leash around his neck. So it's

918
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: like very tongue in cheek, very silly game. Um. The

919
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 1: argument in the tract is that Steve Jackson stumbled upon

920
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 1: the truth about the Illuminati and hid all of the

921
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: secrets about them in this ridiculous card game. He hit

922
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,920
Speaker 1: influm things like weather control satellites, like making them his cards.

923
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:50,879
Speaker 1: Um Like it's it's it's stuff like this. Well, they'll

924
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,520
Speaker 1: be looking at like a card that says weather control satellites,

925
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 1: and it'll be like the card will state like you

926
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 1: can use this on any land you control, and and

927
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:01,960
Speaker 1: then like the tract will be like, see, this is

928
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,920
Speaker 1: proof that the Illuminati has the ability to control the

929
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 1: weather and all of the parts of the world that

930
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 1: they dominate, and like it's goodness, it's completely bug funck nuts.

931
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:16,759
Speaker 1: I can't imagine why bin Laden would have a far

932
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 1: right Christian tract about this really weird card game in

933
00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 1: his reading folder. Um, it's my only guess is the

934
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:32,760
Speaker 1: Illuminati is real. Well, so that does seem a little

935
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 1: bit plausible when you go far enough down the rabbit

936
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 1: hole of studying these cards, because the addition of the

937
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:40,759
Speaker 1: game I have because I played this game since I

938
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 1: was a little kid, came out in. One of the

939
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,399
Speaker 1: cards in that game is a card called Terrorist Nuke.

940
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 1: And why don't you take a look at the illustration

941
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:53,960
Speaker 1: on the terrorist new card released in nine What the

942
00:48:54,360 --> 00:49:01,560
Speaker 1: fun no describe that card to me? The Terrorist Nuke

943
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:10,080
Speaker 1: card that was the designed in has two towers and

944
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 1: one of them being hit. And even though it's supposed

945
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,879
Speaker 1: to be a nuke. It's not a nuclear explosion. It

946
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:20,440
Speaker 1: looks as if it was hit by a plane and

947
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 1: it's the tower that got hit first in reality, and

948
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: it's exploding right in the place where the tower got hit.

949
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 1: That's so weird. And Osama bin Laden was reading conspiracy

950
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:34,960
Speaker 1: theories about this card game in the last years of

951
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 1: his life. Wow, wow, well damn yeah, so we figured

952
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 1: it out be our last podcast before we are taken

953
00:49:46,640 --> 00:49:49,360
Speaker 1: out by the c I A. So sorry. It was

954
00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 1: nice knowing all of you. Sorry we brought you in face. Yeah, no,

955
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: I know. We're going down. We're all going down. All

956
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,600
Speaker 1: the pictures, including pictures of the terrorist new card, will

957
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,360
Speaker 1: be available on Behind the Bastards dot com, so you

958
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: guys will be able to check out all of this craziness. Um,

959
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 1: we want you to see it too. It is. It

960
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 1: is truly bizarre and inexplicable. Um. That is it for

961
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,840
Speaker 1: today's episode of Behind the Bastards. I have been Robert Evans.

962
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,239
Speaker 1: You can find me on the internet at I Write

963
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 1: okay on Twitter, Um okay is two letters. You also

964
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 1: find my book A Brief History of Vice on Amazon. Uh,

965
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 1: if you wanna plug your stuff, yeah, I'm if you

966
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 1: why anyway on Twitter and Instagram, I F y W

967
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,680
Speaker 1: A D I W E. You can get my album.

968
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: It's on anywhere you can buy comedy albums. It's the

969
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:42,320
Speaker 1: community college drop out. You can listen to Nerdificent wherever.

970
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 1: You're listening to this podcast every Tuesday, UH with How

971
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 1: Stuff Works, Candy Dinner every Monday. It's it's a fun

972
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 1: time and you can follow behind the Bastards if you

973
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:55,319
Speaker 1: want to find us on social media where it at

974
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 1: Bastards pod. You can find us again online behind the

975
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 1: Bastards dot com and we will have all of these

976
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 1: wacky images and videos up there, so check us out. Uh.

977
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:08,439
Speaker 1: This podcast drops every Tuesday, so we'll be back next

978
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,840
Speaker 1: week with another crazy story about someone just as terrible

979
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 1: as Osama bin Laden, maybe even worse. I'm Robert Evans,

980
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:18,719
Speaker 1: my buddy Iffy, and we are out for a week.

981
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:27,320
Speaker 1: M M m