WEBVTT - Jessie Reyez: Understanding Real Love & Finding The Time And Space To Recover 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:01.200 What's your love language? 0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:04.439 Quality time and words of affirmation. 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:07.920 Acts of service in my love language, be competent and 0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:10.520 be of use. Help me that she makes me know. 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:13.200 But that's so scary because because then someone will suck 0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:15.000 everywhere else. And then if they do that, that's like 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:16.120 the like the. 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:17.280 Seventeen red flags. 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:18.360 But but they do that. 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:26.720 Hey, guys, thanks for watching. Today's episode is brought to 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.280 you by boost Mobile. I'm very excited about today's guests 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:31.560 because I love her. She has built a career on 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:35.479 telling the truth. Whether she's singing about heartbreak, healing, sobriety, 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:39.520 or the messiness of just being human. Her music resonates 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:41.440 because she is willing to say the things that a 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:44.040 lot of people won't say and are afraid to. She's 0:00:44.080 --> 0:00:47.480 earned multiple Grammy nominations, collaborated with artists like Justin Bieber, 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.040 Lil Wayne, Ari Lennox, and established her as one of 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:53.840 the most distinctive voices of her generation. Now, the Toronto 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:57.160 native is back with her latest album, A Little Vengeance. 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:04.920 Jesse Rays is here in real life. Jesse so mud 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:07.360 than you. I love you? 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:08.760 How are you? Baby? 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:12.000 I'm good, I'm tired, but you so tired? 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:13.120 What are they making you do? 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:15.200 Oh my god, too much. But we're here and I'm 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:16.480 happy to see you and I love seeing it. 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:18.240 I love seeing you too, baby. You know, I was 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:20.160 thinking this morning that you were coming in. I was like, damn. 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:23.039 I felt a little bad because the last time, well, 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:23.840 I saw you at your concert. 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:25.360 We had a great time, so your parents met the 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:27.760 dog all that. We'll get into that later. But the 0:01:27.800 --> 0:01:31.480 time before that was you came to see me. I R. L. Booth, 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:33.600 who were doing the pod, but a small version of. 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:35.600 The pod at the BET Awards, Oh right, right, and 0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:36.679 you popped in for a second. 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:38.160 It was a quick little interview. 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:41.679 And I love that photo, the photo that we got 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:42.119 that is. 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:43.360 Really it's a cute photo. 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:45.440 Do you remember anything else from that day or not. 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:51.720 I'm sure I cried, which is very did cry. 0:01:50.560 --> 0:01:52.520 So you're okay with it. 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:54.840 In my mind, I'm like, damn, I should have I 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:55.640 should have checked on. 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:56.640 Her after and I didn't. 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:57.400 Oh you're sweet. 0:01:57.840 --> 0:01:59.440 I feel bad that I didn't check on you after 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:02.160 because you said you had just gone through some heartbreak 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:05.440 and you like cried talking about it, and then. 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:08.840 I was like, I hate that for me. That's what 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:10.600 I was crying about I was crying about a bum. 0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:11.840 I hate that for me. 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:15.640 By the way, you wouldn't be the first woman to 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:18.839 cry over a bum. It happens all the time every day. 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:22.560 Right now, somebody's crying over somebody right now. That sucks. 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:23.840 That sucks. 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:25.919 If it's you and you're listening. 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:27.440 Wipe your fucking piers bit. 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:31.560 So bump it will be. 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:34.480 But this was like a year ago, right, How could 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:36.000 you have been crying over abum. 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:36.200 A year ago? 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:37.160 How? 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:37.800 Yeah? 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:42.560 Because you're so dope and and funny and great and talented. 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:44.040 Like what is it bad? Bad choosing? 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.840 Because you seem smart and you and you're tapped it, 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:53.800 so you're not You're not totally surprised by somebody's behavior, right, Like, 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:54.880 are you choosing bad? 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:55.560 Are you? 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:56.480 I think? 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:58.919 I think I at that time I was choosing bad. 0:02:58.960 --> 0:03:01.320 And also I fell in love by accident, Like I 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:04.440 didn't slipped on it. I kind of slipped. Yeah, I 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:08.480 stand that sounds crazy. 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:11.120 It was an accident. 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:12.799 I thought I had my shit together and I saw 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:14.160 the cards on the table and I was like, oh, 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:17.760 this is this is this is a fucking flaming red flag. 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:20.480 This is a flaming red flag, so like keep it 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:23.799 at bay, and I did, and then and then. 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:25.560 We always think we could control that. 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:26.639 What a joke. 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.639 I think I've learned my lesson now that I'm like, 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:31.120 I just you have to be Actually, I don't think 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.679 I know I've learned my lessons, but I almost I 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:36.720 am my sling shots shot over here. And then I 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:39.040 became a tyrant where I was like I see a bage, 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:41.880 like fuck yo, I see a fucking like the smallest 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:43.720 thing that I'm like, no, no, no, And then obviously 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:44.320 that's not helpful. 0:03:44.360 --> 0:03:48.200 What is a flag for you? What is a flag 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:50.040 that you might It doesn't have to be him per se, 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:51.360 but like the flags? 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:51.840 What are the. 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:53.440 Flags multiple baby moms? 0:03:54.360 --> 0:04:04.480 Is a flag? Lack of accountability a flag devout? This 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:08.360 is fucked, but it's my truth. When someone let me 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:12.320 preface this by saying, I love I'm very spiritual. Love spirituality, 0:04:12.840 --> 0:04:15.600 love reading about philosophy and how they how they intermingle. 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:20.119 I like learning about theology, but I don't love institutions. 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:22.440 And I grew up very like traditionally my mom and 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:24.120 my mom thank god, my parents are very liberal. 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:24.880 They're open minded. 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.200 So even still I was still like free to have 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:32.200 my own relationship with the divine, but I don't like institutions. 0:04:32.240 --> 0:04:36.360 So when someone is profoundly devout is a little bit 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:37.320 of a red flag for me. 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:38.680 No shade. 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:40.560 You know, people do whatever you got to do, that's 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:43.480 your business. But however you find your connection, whatever you 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:44.560 find your connection. 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:44.800 It's fine. 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:47.560 But but but that scares me a little bit when 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:48.240 someone is like. 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:53.800 Because you question, maybe they are, I don't know. It's 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:54.960 it's a bigger converse. 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.360 It's a deeper conversation, and it's stickiest because they would 0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:59.200 say you never talk about politics and religion, because I 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:02.280 could talk about this hours. Because first off, I know 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:05.839 with the Socrates quote, I know, I know that I 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.799 know nothing at all, So I'll start there. I know nothing, 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:12.120 and your relationship with the divine is yours. But then 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:16.640 when men intermingle in history, and then books get edited 0:05:16.800 --> 0:05:22.120 and the agendas get pushed, and then equality gets questioned, 0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:27.039 and and then when love gets weaponized, that for me 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:28.479 is just very for me. 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:31.839 For my internal thing, love cannot be weaponized. So further 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.880 to be institutions that are weaponizing love and then you 0:05:35.000 --> 0:05:38.680 fully subscribe, that to me makes me a little hesitant 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:40.200 to trust your judgment. 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:42.839 Yeah, but no shade. 0:05:42.960 --> 0:05:44.919 And what's beautiful is that some people are able to 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:47.279 exist in that world but still hold space for their truths. 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:49.680 Like I've had conversations with priests where I've been able 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:53.640 to like express my hesitations and where I see flaws 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:57.680 and when there's respect, you can have all sorts of conversations. 0:05:57.680 --> 0:05:59.560 And he held space for me to be able to 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:01.200 express that when I was I was a child, I 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:02.919 was younger, but I was able to have it. And 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:05.719 then he echoed something that my father had echoed a 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:08.119 long time ago too, which is a you can't, you can't. 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:10.839 And again, I don't judge it. It's just I don't. 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:14.160 It's only taken into consideration if I'm considering someone as 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.320 a partner, because then they're going to be directly you know. 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:18.760 But if it's someone in passing our friend, there's no judgment. 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:20.719 You do do whatever you want to do, no judgment. 0:06:21.000 --> 0:06:23.080 Because my dad was like, you cannot you can't judge 0:06:23.160 --> 0:06:25.560 or fault someone for however they form a relationship with 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:27.920 the divine because it is personal, so you can't. 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:28.880 You just can't. 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:32.680 And also things are going to resonate for people like 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.520 you don't have to. I don't think you have to 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:37.360 be like I subscribe. 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:39.560 To this so I agree with everything. I don't. I 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:41.839 think that's so unfair to get someone to commit because 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:42.200 there are. 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:46.479 What's wrong with our country right that his country right now? 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:48.440 Yeah, because people feel like they're in So now I 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:49.400 have to support. 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:51.200 All these things. Are you crazy? 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:52.799 Are you crazy on either side? 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:54.159 Are you crazy on both sides? 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:56.360 Because yeahs everywhere? 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:59.520 Yeah, that make those sort of generalizations without holding space 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:00.039 for human. 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:02.280 You have the greatest hair, Jesse, thank you? 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:04.000 Like who could just do that? 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:06.000 Who could just flip her hair around in an interview 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:07.080 and it just lands right? 0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:09.080 You know what I'm saying? 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:09.479 My hair? 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:11.720 Did the lady come over and and Brittany's like push this, 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:15.440 I'm like, okay, it's like whatever you do your hair, 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:18.000 It's just do you appreciate this hair? You? 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:19.160 Yea, I appreciate the hair. 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:20.120 Thank God for it? 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:20.800 Yeah I do. 0:07:20.920 --> 0:07:21.040 Now. 0:07:21.080 --> 0:07:22.720 When I was a kid, I was reckless. I don't 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:25.440 give a ship. But yeah, but now and now I've 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:26.840 come to appreciate. 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:27.720 You appreciate it's pretty good. 0:07:27.800 --> 0:07:28.160 Thank you. 0:07:28.320 --> 0:07:31.200 Thank you as well to say that you gotta thank 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:34.840 the parents. Okay, so it's okay. So you were You 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:36.760 were down because of you ignored red flags. 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:38.640 I was down because ignored red flags. 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:41.600 You were down bad. You're crying on the pod about 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:43.320 about a bum. 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:46.239 Yeah so much. 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:48.360 Hey guys, today's show is brought to you by our 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:52.200 presenting sponsor, hard Rock Bet. Being rebellious doesn't mean quitting 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:54.920 your job and moving to an island. Sometimes being rebellious 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:57.560 just means taking a few minutes to do exactly whatever 0:07:57.600 --> 0:07:59.480 it is you want to do. And that's where hard 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:02.400 Rock Back, where your inner rebel plays. If you're in 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:06.120 New Jersey or Michigan. The hard Rock Bet casinop has 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:11.560 thousands of your favorite games from the casino floor, like slots, blackjack, roulette, 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:14.040 whatever you like. And here's what I really appreciate from 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:16.720 hard rock Bet. There's no nonsense. When you sign up, 0:08:17.040 --> 0:08:19.000 what you see is what you get. If you don't 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:21.160 win in your first twenty four hours. After signing up, 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:23.440 you get up to one thousand dollars back and casino 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:26.360 bonus to play again. Plus you get five hundred bonus 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:30.400 spins for cash eruption with winnings paid in cash. Now, Florida, 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:32.679 listen up hard Rock Bet isn't forgetting about you guys. 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:34.840 If you like slots, they have something for you too. 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:38.800 Check out games powered by Pass motor Racing. It's not 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:41.680 a social casino. These are real money games that are thrilling, 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:43.640 fun and exciting, and you can play with as little 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:45.320 as twenty cents or you can try your luck at 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:47.640 a bigger win all the way up to a million bucks. 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:50.360 The best part, again, there's no gimmicks. If you're a 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:53.120 new customer in Florida, sign up and deposit ten dollars 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:56.120 to get a one hundred dollars game bonus instantly. That's 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:59.040 some extra fuel for your spins. So if you're ready 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:02.200 to take some time yourself today, download the hard Rock 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:05.160 Bet app and make your first deposit. That's the hard 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:09.080 Rock Bet casino where your inner rebel play games powered 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:12.640 by a Pass motor Racing payable in PMR game bonus 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:14.960 not a cash offer offered by the Seminole Tribe of Florida. 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:17.240 Must be twenty one and older and physically present in 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:20.440 Florida to wager. Terms and conditions apply. Concerned about your gambling, 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:23.480 call or texts one A three to three playwise Michigan 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:26.160 and New Jersey offered by Seminal hard Rock Digital LLC. 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:29.640 All rewards issued as non withdrawable site credits. Ten dollars 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:32.320 plus deposit required for four hundred bonus spins for cash 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:35.920 eruption only up to one thousand dollars back in casino 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:39.080 bonus if player has net loss on slots after first 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:41.439 twenty four hours. Casino bonus credit has a one time 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.120 wager requirement. Must be twenty one or older and present 0:09:44.160 --> 0:09:46.600 in Michigan or New Jersey to play gambling problem called 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:47.679 one eight hundred gambler. 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.400 But I'm sure that serves the music. 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:52.000 Yeah, it couldn't be me. Kime out of that? 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:55.760 Is that what it was? That song is so good. 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.600 Thank you for somebody who's new to Jesse Reyes, because 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:00.840 they're still every day new people can I'm into the table, 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:03.080 by the way, I was so excited to be at 0:10:03.080 --> 0:10:07.280 your concert. It was so fun for me, not only 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:10.680 because I love the album, and then watching you in 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:13.720 your element. You've always been great as a performer, but 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:17.440 watching the crowd grow and then the crowd know you 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:20.480 better in a weird way, you just have a It's 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:23.400 just so organic and such a dope thing to watch. 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.000 And then you go backstage and. 0:10:25.960 --> 0:10:29.920 You're with You're saying, your parents are there, the dog's there, 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:34.840 your team is there. Like you've really curated your world 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:38.440 very organically to who you are, and that is so 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:39.440 joyful to see. 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:40.079 Thank you. 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:42.520 Do you feel that inside, like from the inside of 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:43.680 your world? Does it feel like that? 0:10:44.360 --> 0:10:47.439 Not as much as I need it to be really? Yeah? 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:51.920 Wow, So because I've always been a workaholic and it's 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:52.760 been sustainable. 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.640 Actually no, it's just things have shifted and shifted a 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:57.320 lot for how I felt. 0:10:57.320 --> 0:11:00.400 But I was always able to bring my parents on tour, 0:11:01.120 --> 0:11:04.520 and like, I'm so privileged and spoiled by being I 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:06.360 don't miss home because I've been able to bring home. 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:08.439 I'm able to work that way because I'm able to 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.240 bring home and bring my hearts. 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:11.600 Like my love with me. 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:14.600 But this tour was the first time that I was 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.280 like far removed from them, and I felt it, and 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.760 I was like, damn, Like, I don't I want to 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:22.160 go home. I haven't felt that in nine years. 0:11:22.440 --> 0:11:22.680 Wow. 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.360 Yeah, I don't think i've ever I've ever I like, 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:29.560 I generally like touring. I generally like that. Anyways, it 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.680 was the first time that I was like I'm yeah, 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:33.920 I do that. I miss home. I miss home. 0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:36.160 That's interesting. So but when I was there, your parents 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:37.040 were there, and the dog was. 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:38.040 There, that was America. 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:39.080 Oh got it. 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:42.200 And then yeah, so it was fine. And then we shifted. 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:44.560 And then the shift is kind of what rocked me 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:47.559 for the first time. And I never really felt that weakness. 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:51.000 And then I started doing more inventory and I feel 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:53.280 like I've done this inventory lightly in the last year 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:57.400 or two year, year and a half that like, yes, 0:11:57.480 --> 0:11:59.880 I've been blessed with a great career and I'm great, 0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:06.800 but everything else suffers for it, you know, like when 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:08.840 you're you know, and that's not it's a very common trope. 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:10.920 I'm not saying anything that's like brand new. When you 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:13.800 when you work a lot, your work life balance is 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:17.720 a joke. And like relationships suffer, your your you're just 0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:19.920 everything and it's hard to allot time. It's hard to 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:22.680 even prioritize anything because if something with work comes up, 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.440 that's an opportunity that you can't say no to. For 0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:26.880 the bigger picture, it's like I gotta miss his birthday. 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:32.600 I got to like it's just difficult. And and after 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.360 December of last year, when we finished those six months, 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:39.960 my body was like exhausted and it held out. My 0:12:39.960 --> 0:12:42.080 body's good to me, like for six months, held out. 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:45.360 When I finally took a break, which normally happens after 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:47.680 two where your body will get sick because of everything, 0:12:47.720 --> 0:12:50.680 it's been like countering. Yeah, but like it charged me, 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:54.880 Like I was sick for like a month, and and 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:58.200 then I realized, I'm like, I'm exhausted and that I'm 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:01.240 kind of tired. I am sleep isn't fai. My soul 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:04.240 is tired. To play with emotions to this degree that 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:06.280 I play with them is difficult to talk about them. 0:13:06.480 --> 0:13:08.680 That's why I was like, I cried shocking, because because 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:10.320 they're always here, They're always you know. 0:13:12.160 --> 0:13:13.160 And I realized. 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:16.360 I looked around, I'm like, well, other artists take breaks, 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.040 and in nine years, I haven't really done that. I 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:21.080 have the bat max I've taken is out of my 0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:24.360 own volition. Max I've taken in seven days. Anything over 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:30.960 seven days, Yeah, anything over seven days has been because 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:32.800 I got fucked, because I was sick, or because my 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:33.520 body like. 0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:35.000 Called it for me. 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:38.480 It wasn't will Yeah, But to say. 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.719 Because you know, there's people I didn't there's people that 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:42.600 could be Okay, I'm not touching my phone, I'm not 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:43.400 touching an email. 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:44.079 I'm not like. 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:48.640 Even I've just always which is fine, which is which 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:51.560 is It's a quality I get from just having that 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:53.880 sort of work ethic and watching my parents work. My 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:55.640 dad in twenty years didn't miss a day of work. 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:57.240 You missed one day, You missed my one day to 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:58.520 go to my brother's graduation. 0:13:59.040 --> 0:13:59.439 That's it. 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:03.199 So like I get this, they go, So that's how 0:14:03.240 --> 0:14:08.199 I you know, but it's not sustainable. It's not sustainable. 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:10.440 And also when I see other people around me that 0:14:10.480 --> 0:14:12.160 have been able to do the like the long game, 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:15.040 I'm like, oh, you take breaks, you take breaks, and 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:15.600 you balance. 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:17.920 So I feel like I'm dude, for a fucking is 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:18.320 that coming? 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:19.120 Are you gonna do it? 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:19.440 Fuck? 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:19.800 Yeah? 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:20.880 What are you gonna do? What is that? 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:25.480 Nothing? Nothing? Fucking nothing. 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:29.600 I'm gonna get a burner phone. I'm so excited. I 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:31.960 don't want to see Instagram for like, I don't want 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:33.560 to see Instagram. I want see taktok. I want to 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:37.080 see my fucking Gmail. I just want books and space 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.640 and woods and family and my dog. 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:43.120 Yeah, and how long are we talking? 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:45.280 I don't know, as long as you need, long as 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:46.800 I need. And then that's why I said, I'm like, 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:48.320 it might be retirement. And then people around me. 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:50.280 Like, are you fucking crazy? That's like saying a fish 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.680 isn't gonna swim anymore. You create in your sleep. 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:54.920 And I was like, yeah, but but I also don't want, 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:57.440 and men makes plans and God laughs, so like, who 0:14:57.440 --> 0:14:59.120 the fuck knows? I can say retirement and then I'm 0:14:59.120 --> 0:15:00.680 gonna miss it in two months and come back. Maybe 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:02.840 that's all I need, or maybe I need more, but 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:06.080 I also don't want. I don't want. I'm just with 0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:09.080 the mercy of God and whatever happens. But right now, 0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:11.480 right now, I'm tired. I told my squad, I was like, 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.120 I'm not doing a fucking massive to y'all are going 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.760 to get ten shows out of me max. So we're 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:17.360 working that, which I don't think is going to happen 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:18.880 to a little after Ideally I was going to be 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:19.520 done in June. 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.200 That's not happening anymore. But it's okay. Compromise is fine. 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:23.560 You're already compromising. 0:15:23.760 --> 0:15:26.720 Isn't that some shit I wasn't supposed to, But it's fine. 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.200 This is the last compromise. But it's going to be 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:31.600 ten shows and then fucking off. 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:33.840 If there's only ten shows, I do recommend people get 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:36.800 to them because if you. 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:38.840 Haven't been to a Jesse Rayo show, it's so good. 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.840 You're so good on stage, You're so free and so 0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:47.920 authentic and thanks pretty great, thank you so still even 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:49.080 when you were in those times, Yeah, I was like, 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:51.160 is it still fun for you on the stage? 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.880 Yes, yeah, but but I've just never felt the longing 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:56.600 to go. I'm just it's just such a week it 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.480 was in city. It almost felt dirty because you do 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.520 love it, because I yeah, so to feel that, I 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:04.360 was like, what the fuck is this? Like I've never 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:08.080 I've just never, for damn near a decade, I never 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:09.080 felt the like. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.520 I don't go home home my mom, like I never. 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:15.520 Yeah, I can't believe that you has this is It's 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:19.040 taken you this long to realize maybe you need. 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:21.560 A little roots. Yeah. 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:25.200 Then you're so, I don't know, like self reflective and 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:27.000 like you I don't know you. 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:32.800 Think ship you know why too? 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:34.760 I think because you don't. 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:38.440 It's not like you work in a factory or your adoptor. 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:39.680 It's a creature. 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:43.200 No, it's because you're a creative. And so the creative 0:16:43.880 --> 0:16:46.560 who is what you what you are in real life 0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:49.800 is a creative. You also do that as work. 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:51.600