1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,040
Speaker 1: This is Cowboys Sam, and this is ye how John,

2
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,680
Speaker 1: and we've last showed in some amazing stories for y'all

3
00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,639
Speaker 1: the Okay Storytime podcasts.

4
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,040
Speaker 2: But before that we got a wrangle, a quick little

5
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,760
Speaker 2: two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.

6
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:15,840
Speaker 1: We bucking love so much and they're paying us the

7
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,680
Speaker 1: books to help this show stay alive. Am I the

8
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,000
Speaker 1: a hole for not asking my girlfriend's father for permission

9
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:22,520
Speaker 1: to marry her?

10
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,640
Speaker 2: I guess it depends.

11
00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,639
Speaker 1: Well, I thirty mail, have been dating my girlfriend twenty

12
00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,960
Speaker 1: nine female for four years now and things have been

13
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:33,519
Speaker 1: all around pretty good. We both don't see eye to

14
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,400
Speaker 1: eye politically on many things with her father, but we

15
00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,919
Speaker 1: still visit him and her mother fairly frequently around the holidays,

16
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,199
Speaker 1: and he's friendly enough to know not to bring up

17
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,599
Speaker 1: politics around the both of us because we don't degree.

18
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,479
Speaker 1: But I digress. By the way, this comes from Watermelon

19
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 1: Bison twelve. And you want us make your own stories,

20
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,519
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay Storytime, how about it?

21
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:52,600
Speaker 2: So?

22
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,200
Speaker 1: I've talked about proposing to my girlfriend over the past

23
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,120
Speaker 1: couple months and about what she wants, et cetera, and

24
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,600
Speaker 1: she mentioned she wanted me to ask her dad for permission. Okay,

25
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,000
Speaker 1: so it's coming from her, coming from her, so you

26
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,520
Speaker 1: might be the a hole if you didn't if you

27
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,640
Speaker 1: didn't do that. I was kind of taken aback by

28
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,479
Speaker 1: this because it isn't a normal thing that my girlfriend

29
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,040
Speaker 1: would say.

30
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,040
Speaker 2: So I asked why.

31
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,120
Speaker 1: She said, because it's something she would like me to do.

32
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,479
Speaker 2: Just do it. Enough said, because I want it.

33
00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,240
Speaker 1: Her sister's husband did it, and some wedding funding from

34
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:30,080
Speaker 1: him would likely be contingent on me doing this old dowry. Yeah,

35
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,560
Speaker 1: I need it for the bucks. Yeah, forty bucks. You

36
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,040
Speaker 1: get forty bucks and thirty goats. Let's do a dowry.

37
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, just keep the bucks, I'll take the goats.

38
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,479
Speaker 1: I came back with that I wouldn't be asking another

39
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:44,200
Speaker 1: person for permission to marry her. It's an extremely outdated

40
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,800
Speaker 1: tradition for one, and I'm a thirty year old person.

41
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,160
Speaker 1: I can do what I want to do with someone

42
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,320
Speaker 1: I love. I don't need anyone else's permission. Yeah, but

43
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,840
Speaker 1: you need her permission, and that's something she wants you

44
00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:57,160
Speaker 1: to do.

45
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,200
Speaker 2: You're not standing on Normally I'd be like, you're totally right,

46
00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,800
Speaker 2: because I do kind of think it's like unnecessary when

47
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,440
Speaker 2: it's you and someone else to be like, hey, parents,

48
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,200
Speaker 2: are you okay with this? It's like, well, this is

49
00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,639
Speaker 2: between me and you. But if she says to you,

50
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,720
Speaker 2: this is what I want, that's a totally different story.

51
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,120
Speaker 1: So she got mad and that I just needed to

52
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,960
Speaker 1: do it because it's a small thing to ask for

53
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,200
Speaker 1: and she wants some of the money to have a

54
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,120
Speaker 1: few more things at our wedding that we won't be

55
00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,840
Speaker 1: able to afford without it. I'm continuing to stay on

56
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,440
Speaker 1: my ground about not asking for this.

57
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,320
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? There is a.

58
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,880
Speaker 1: Lot more story here, Yeah, a lot more story than

59
00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,919
Speaker 1: the relevant comments. But is opda hole here?

60
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:44,360
Speaker 2: Kinda yeah? Like given that it's like, okay, Daddy's gonna

61
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,960
Speaker 2: help fund the wedding, you're talking to do this money

62
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:53,960
Speaker 2: and money your fiance is literally saying that's what she wants. Yeah,

63
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,400
Speaker 2: And it sounds like you'll probably say yes anyway. Yeah.

64
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,280
Speaker 2: I would assume maybe she just wants you to ask,

65
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,400
Speaker 2: and then even if he says no, she would be like,

66
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,240
Speaker 2: well that was weird. We're still gonna get married.

67
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:06,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, like you could get money and it's

68
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,240
Speaker 1: what she wants, Like I I I don't see what

69
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,119
Speaker 1: the problem is here.

70
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:13,119
Speaker 2: It's just pride. Yeah, I have to man, I don't

71
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 2: have to ask another man from manly desires. Yeah, and

72
00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:19,440
Speaker 2: again I kind of agree with that, not about it

73
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 2: just being like, wa'ma man, but just like the fact

74
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,639
Speaker 2: that it's like our relationship is no one else's business, really,

75
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,799
Speaker 2: but she's asking, she's asking.

76
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,280
Speaker 1: It's like it's kind of like, oh, like if you propose,

77
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,840
Speaker 1: I don't want it to be at a baseball game.

78
00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:30,160
Speaker 2: You know.

79
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,520
Speaker 1: It's like you could ask in a baseball game, and like,

80
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,680
Speaker 1: you know, you can technically propose anywhere. But is she

81
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,960
Speaker 1: gonna be happier if you don't propose at a baseball game?

82
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,120
Speaker 1: But probably, like probably, Yeah. It's like no, no shade

83
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,760
Speaker 1: on baseball game proposals. It's just it's just that it's

84
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:45,240
Speaker 1: a preference.

85
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,440
Speaker 2: But if she was like I love red roses, yeah,

86
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,560
Speaker 2: and you're just like, dude, I'm a I'm a daffadil man. Yeah,

87
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 2: I can't get you Red roses, babe. I'm a daffadil

88
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,920
Speaker 2: man till I die. Just get her the roses, get

89
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:03,760
Speaker 2: her the roses chosen. Anyway, we got a verdict from

90
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,480
Speaker 2: Red and it says no a holes here.

91
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,680
Speaker 1: Ah, I mean, like I don't know relevant comments, I'd

92
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,880
Speaker 1: say you're the a hole, says Covid Rose. I can

93
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,760
Speaker 1: completely understand it being outdated, and I can understand if

94
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,120
Speaker 1: you end up feeling embarrassed or something by doing it,

95
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:23,440
Speaker 1: But she's asking this of you. Being married means that

96
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,080
Speaker 1: sometimes you compromise on your own comfort to make the

97
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,200
Speaker 1: other one beyond happy. Also, it's not a bad thing

98
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,440
Speaker 1: to have financial help towards the wedding, and if asking

99
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,520
Speaker 1: for permission is a way to do that, it's pretty easy.

100
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:36,880
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.

101
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,000
Speaker 1: Also point out that my husband also contacted my father,

102
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,960
Speaker 1: but it wasn't do I have your blessing to marry

103
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,480
Speaker 1: your daughter and more like, hey, I love your daughter

104
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,080
Speaker 1: so much, I'm going to ask her to marry her.

105
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,560
Speaker 1: It was just more letting him know of his plans,

106
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,200
Speaker 1: you know, and OPI responds, I think that this is

107
00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:54,400
Speaker 1: the root that all propose with my girlfriend. I just

108
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,720
Speaker 1: don't like the asking permission part. So, like you said,

109
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,520
Speaker 1: if I phrase it mora as I'm doing this and

110
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,640
Speaker 1: want to let you know because I respect you, I

111
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,280
Speaker 1: think that will make both sides happy. Thanks for the suggestion.

112
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,880
Speaker 2: Dude, just take one second to swallow whatever pride that

113
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,320
Speaker 2: you have surrounding this and just do it. It doesn't

114
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,839
Speaker 2: have to be like you know, we'll all make it

115
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,080
Speaker 2: a loophole. Just do it. Just ask.

116
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,320
Speaker 1: I also feel like that has a higher chance of

117
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,920
Speaker 1: going poorly if you're like I'm proposing. I don't care.

118
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:21,120
Speaker 1: I'm just going to do it.

119
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,040
Speaker 2: Just do the freaking thing. Play the part.

120
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,000
Speaker 1: One told to ask for her father's blessing rather than permission.

121
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,479
Speaker 1: I suggested this with asking for both parents and was

122
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,800
Speaker 1: told that her father will likely want to speak to

123
00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,240
Speaker 1: me alone on it and won't include the mother if

124
00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,480
Speaker 1: I try to ask both of them. Again, I don't

125
00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,760
Speaker 1: mind telling them I'm going to do this, but the

126
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,960
Speaker 1: blatant you have to ask me and only me is

127
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:47,320
Speaker 1: what's really putting me off. This and another Creddit user says,

128
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,200
Speaker 1: do you think her father would use this as an

129
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,719
Speaker 1: opportunity to lord it over you? Is he the type

130
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,320
Speaker 1: of person who would take advantage of the situation try

131
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,960
Speaker 1: get you to humble yourself for him. Op said, he

132
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,680
Speaker 1: won't lord it over me, but his personality is to

133
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,400
Speaker 1: be the overprotective father, the typical.

134
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,760
Speaker 2: Out of shot gun so treat rat type. You know.

135
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,080
Speaker 1: That's a Oh that's a thing he said when I

136
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,599
Speaker 1: first met him. So it's always been this way, And

137
00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:11,320
Speaker 1: we have an update.

138
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a fun guy. I don't know, that's a

139
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,240
Speaker 2: fun guy right there. Just just do the thing, do

140
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,560
Speaker 2: the bit. It's it's a bit.

141
00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:21,320
Speaker 1: You're playing a traditional role, you know, and so uh

142
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:22,680
Speaker 1: uh yeah, just do the bit.

143
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,320
Speaker 2: It's a very it's a it's a very small sacrifice

144
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:26,400
Speaker 2: for your fiance.

145
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,800
Speaker 1: It really seems like he's not down to sacrifice an

146
00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:30,680
Speaker 1: ounce of his pride.

147
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,440
Speaker 2: It's like, what's are you really? Like? Are you worried that?

148
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,440
Speaker 1: Don't say no, like what I think it's purely a

149
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,800
Speaker 1: pride thing. He's just like, doesn't want to bow to another.

150
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,599
Speaker 2: Man, which is crazy, crazy because really you're just bowing

151
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,360
Speaker 2: to your wife. Yeah, which you should what you should do.

152
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,040
Speaker 2: I've heard a lot of guys get great results from

153
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,120
Speaker 2: doing that kind of thing. Amen, the tried and true standard.

154
00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:53,280
Speaker 3: It's just true. It's fact, happy wife, happy life.

155
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,760
Speaker 1: We got an update after reading a lot of responses

156
00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:57,880
Speaker 1: in the original thread, I decided to ask for my

157
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,800
Speaker 1: girlfriend's parents blessing.

158
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:02,640
Speaker 2: Which I yeah, that's so do I have your blessing

159
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,520
Speaker 2: is when yes, I told her I.

160
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,240
Speaker 1: Was going to do it. She was very happy. We

161
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,680
Speaker 1: were going to visit. About two weeks after I posted

162
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,320
Speaker 1: a thread and I figured it would be a good

163
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:15,640
Speaker 1: opportunity to ask. So my fiance went for a run

164
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,680
Speaker 1: one morning and I was lounging around talking with her parents.

165
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,160
Speaker 1: When I said I'd like to talk to them about something.

166
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,320
Speaker 1: They both were kind of smiling like they knew what

167
00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,440
Speaker 1: I was going to say. And immediately her dad says, well, let's.

168
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,560
Speaker 2: Go talk in the garage. Oh yeah, two men, let's

169
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,400
Speaker 2: open up a beer. Just two men in a garage.

170
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,120
Speaker 1: And and I go out there and I phrase it

171
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,920
Speaker 1: like some people told me I want to marry your daughter,

172
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,520
Speaker 1: And I'm letting you know that I planned to propose

173
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,160
Speaker 1: because I love her. I also want to get your

174
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,400
Speaker 1: blessing because I respect you and your wife.

175
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,920
Speaker 2: That's pretty that's pretty good. And then after he said that,

176
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:56,800
Speaker 2: he went and he started melting and contorting because his

177
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:01,720
Speaker 2: manly pride was being burned out, and it just oh wait, no,

178
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,160
Speaker 2: that didn't happen, because what that doesn't happen? Yeah? Hello,

179
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:05,920
Speaker 2: oh my god.

180
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,600
Speaker 1: He was pleased with the answer. And smiled and gave

181
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,520
Speaker 1: his approval for me to propose. Oh I need it.

182
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,520
Speaker 1: The proposal went great. About a month later, romantic and

183
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,760
Speaker 1: just like I planned. My fiance loved him. So this

184
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,640
Speaker 1: past Sunday, we're discussing venues and the ceremony, and my

185
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:27,160
Speaker 1: fiance casually said, well, Dad wants us to get married

186
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,720
Speaker 1: in this church, so we'll be doing it here. Now,

187
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,720
Speaker 1: I'm not religious, and I wouldn't mind getting married in

188
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,000
Speaker 1: a church, but again, why does his opinion matter for

189
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:37,440
Speaker 1: our wedding?

190
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,240
Speaker 2: Okay, hey, so come here, come here, came here. The

191
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,760
Speaker 2: money he's providing the money. The money helps.

192
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, but but I would say, I would say, like,

193
00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:50,320
Speaker 1: you don't want him to just completely uh make it

194
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,480
Speaker 1: his perfect wedding, you know.

195
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,480
Speaker 2: Sure, No, I'm not saying that he would get to

196
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,520
Speaker 2: do that. But this guy's been like, what does he

197
00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:59,160
Speaker 2: have to say in it? Buddy? He's providing some money.

198
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do think.

199
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,400
Speaker 2: I think just his location is a fine thing to have.

200
00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,480
Speaker 1: Some say, But you don't you want to make sure

201
00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,880
Speaker 1: to toe the line between him to him suggesting things

202
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:10,760
Speaker 1: and him demanding it.

203
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,600
Speaker 2: So it's just location we've got in a church that's

204
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:16,400
Speaker 2: probably very What do you want to do it in Greece,

205
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,840
Speaker 2: my big fat Greek wedding, I'd say, well, it's book

206
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:20,400
Speaker 2: the Flights.

207
00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:22,080
Speaker 1: Well, what if you want to do it in Greece

208
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:24,640
Speaker 1: and he wants to do it in his backyard church.

209
00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,880
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, if it was like overbearing, I think

210
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,360
Speaker 2: then you have a conversation. Hey, I get it. I

211
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,319
Speaker 2: think in let's make this real easy, will like not

212
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,600
Speaker 2: take your money for the wedding and we'll figure something else,

213
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,400
Speaker 2: something out by ourselves. But I think him money and

214
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,800
Speaker 2: being like I wanted to be in a church very fair,

215
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,360
Speaker 2: especially considering the guy's probably super traditional, and I would

216
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,520
Speaker 2: assume maybe his fiance is a little traditional as well.

217
00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,600
Speaker 1: A lot of so like, I have a friend that's

218
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,840
Speaker 1: getting married and his family's Indian and her family's Mexicans.

219
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:56,000
Speaker 1: So they're doing like a wedding that is having like

220
00:09:56,200 --> 00:10:00,920
Speaker 1: Mexican Catholic elements and like Indian Hindoo element that's like

221
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,360
Speaker 1: to please both families too.

222
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,319
Speaker 3: That just sounds like a fun party. Yeah, dude, it's

223
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,240
Speaker 3: gonna be that's gonna be lit. They're gonna have such

224
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:06,760
Speaker 3: a cool wedding.

225
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:07,920
Speaker 2: It's gonna be it.

226
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:13,200
Speaker 1: So I asked, anything else your dad wants for our wedding,

227
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,280
Speaker 1: and then said we also need to stay in separate

228
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,800
Speaker 1: rooms the night before a wedding to per her father,

229
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,199
Speaker 1: hilarious since we've been living together for almost two years.

230
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,360
Speaker 1: This led to a massive argument about the wedding and

231
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,040
Speaker 1: the role of her dad in her life. I told

232
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,840
Speaker 1: her that up until a couple months ago, it seemed

233
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,240
Speaker 1: like she couldn't have cared less about what her dad thought.

234
00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:37,000
Speaker 1: But would it stop with the wedding?

235
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:37,400
Speaker 2: Right like?

236
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:42,840
Speaker 1: Would would the dad's overbearing opinions of what should happen

237
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,079
Speaker 1: to the relationship stop the wedding or would it continue

238
00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:45,400
Speaker 1: past it?

239
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,560
Speaker 2: I think that's a conversation you would have after the wedding.

240
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,280
Speaker 2: Why are we talking about that right now? You don't

241
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,120
Speaker 2: live in the future. I think it's a very normal thing. Look,

242
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,080
Speaker 2: there's always gonna be a situation within families or within

243
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,200
Speaker 2: any context with like a group of people. There's any politics,

244
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,680
Speaker 2: And it's like when given like the situation of like

245
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,240
Speaker 2: a wedding, Yeah, you're gonna have to play politics with

246
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,560
Speaker 2: the family here. I do so.

247
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,120
Speaker 1: I feel like for me right now, I feel like

248
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,560
Speaker 1: it should be phrased differently on both parts, Like I

249
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,360
Speaker 1: feel like for her it's like, oh, my dad wants this,

250
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,400
Speaker 1: so we need to do it, rather than like like

251
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,240
Speaker 1: my dad's like I feel like it should be phrased

252
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,480
Speaker 1: more as like my dad's very religious, and like I

253
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,600
Speaker 1: don't want to like rock the boat. Can we like

254
00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:26,880
Speaker 1: add some of these elements it would make them really happy?

255
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:27,600
Speaker 2: You know.

256
00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:29,880
Speaker 1: I guess Op's worried, like, oh, is this a sudden

257
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,240
Speaker 1: change of heart where now the dad's going to be

258
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,640
Speaker 1: involved in all of our familial matters to an insane

259
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,360
Speaker 1: degree when it hasn't been in before, which I feel like,

260
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,840
Speaker 1: which I feel like could potentially be an issue, right, Like,

261
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,200
Speaker 1: like it's just is this going to be a dynamic

262
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,200
Speaker 1: a precedent that's going to be said for the relationship?

263
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,560
Speaker 1: So like I think you were right, politicking at weddings

264
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:55,280
Speaker 1: is incredibly important, but also like, let's make sure it's

265
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,440
Speaker 1: politicking and not politicking for the rest of the life.

266
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,280
Speaker 2: You know, if this guy hasn't been like this the

267
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,280
Speaker 2: whole time, though I doubt that's the case. And I'm

268
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,480
Speaker 2: not saying it's not something to talk about. I'm just saying,

269
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,320
Speaker 2: let's not get ahead of ourselves being like, well, this

270
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,640
Speaker 2: could be a problem, and that could be a problem,

271
00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,400
Speaker 2: and this will be a problem. Like let's take the

272
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,240
Speaker 2: problems as they come instead of making them before they exist. Yeah,

273
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,600
Speaker 2: but definitely a thing to be aware of. You don't

274
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,800
Speaker 2: want the dad to be in charge of y'all's marriage.

275
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:22,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sidato says, it's not the dad's wedding. Kim find says,

276
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,320
Speaker 1: why not just have a sit down conversation with her

277
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,160
Speaker 1: parents and just openly discussed dad's expectations so they don't

278
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,480
Speaker 1: have constant surprizes. Okay, Billy time, we've seen this with

279
00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,600
Speaker 1: mother in law's and we tell the bride to leave.

280
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,400
Speaker 1: I think op and Is Beyonce have valid points to

281
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,600
Speaker 1: their side of things. I think I would agree, And

282
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,240
Speaker 1: Sidetoe says, in the wise words of Kion it's not

283
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,480
Speaker 1: your day. But I think it has a great point,

284
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,760
Speaker 1: you know it Also they are providing money, So if

285
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,000
Speaker 1: they're providing money, I think they might have a little

286
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:55,320
Speaker 1: bit more say, but still it's not would continue on

287
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:58,000
Speaker 1: if we had children. Her excuse was that she was

288
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:02,680
Speaker 1: ruining her dream wedding. It was contingent on appeasing her father.

289
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,160
Speaker 1: He was ruining it or she wasn't.

290
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,920
Speaker 2: So I'm saying I think that meant like her excuse

291
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,000
Speaker 2: is that if we don't do this, it's going to

292
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 2: ruin the dream wedding.

293
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,960
Speaker 1: Her excuse was that she was ruining her dream wedding

294
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,320
Speaker 1: and it was contingent on her appeasing her father. So

295
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:21,120
Speaker 1: part of her dream wedding is making sure her dad's happy,

296
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,480
Speaker 1: which it sounds like she's like what she was saying,

297
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,840
Speaker 1: I feel right, that's what she's saying, right, we said

298
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,360
Speaker 1: what were I'm still her excuse was that she was

299
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,760
Speaker 1: ruining her dream wedding if like they didn't have it

300
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,880
Speaker 1: in a church, and it was contingent on appeasing her father.

301
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,559
Speaker 1: She didn't understand why I couldn't compromise and get her

302
00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:40,559
Speaker 1: the extra cash to get her the wedding she had

303
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,440
Speaker 1: always dreamed of.

304
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,040
Speaker 2: So it is it's the support. It's not that she

305
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,280
Speaker 2: has to appease her dad. It's that appeasing her dad

306
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,240
Speaker 2: gives her the funds that allows her to have the wedding.

307
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, And so it sounds like she's blaming it

308
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,720
Speaker 1: on her dad, but it really just like she wants

309
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,000
Speaker 1: this right, So I told her I'm not ready to

310
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,400
Speaker 1: get married if this is the stance you're going to

311
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,800
Speaker 1: take with your father, and that did not go over well.

312
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,480
Speaker 2: Whoa, But it's just in this one of context, guys,

313
00:14:04,559 --> 00:14:06,439
Speaker 2: this is what I was afraid of. This is spreading

314
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,560
Speaker 2: into like a whole life generalization. You can't do that

315
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,199
Speaker 2: because you haven't lived your life yet.

316
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,400
Speaker 1: The yelling started and things started being thrown at me,

317
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,360
Speaker 1: so I left. I call my buddy and went to

318
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,040
Speaker 1: his place. He gladly let me come over. I've got

319
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,120
Speaker 1: tons of miscalls from her, some text ranging from I

320
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,360
Speaker 1: miss you, let's talk about it, to you're an abuser

321
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,360
Speaker 1: trying to separate me from my family. I just honestly

322
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,760
Speaker 1: don't know where this behavior is coming from. It's like

323
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,680
Speaker 1: my fiance has been taken over by some bridezilla that

324
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:37,240
Speaker 1: only cares about having a perfect wedding. I'm just taking

325
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 1: time to think about everything and what to do next. Well,

326
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,480
Speaker 1: maybe update again after this, but for now things aren't

327
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,120
Speaker 1: looking too great for the future of our relationship. Just

328
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,920
Speaker 1: trying to keep my head above water. We have some

329
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:53,000
Speaker 1: relevant comments. We're barely halfway through. We're like barely halfway through,

330
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:59,000
Speaker 1: but whoa, I feel like again, if I was to say, like,

331
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:00,840
Speaker 1: am I the A hole? If there was another ani

332
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,120
Speaker 1: the a whole question here, I feel like everyone's the

333
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,520
Speaker 1: a hole here. I mean I think he's the a

334
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:09,080
Speaker 1: hole for escalating it, like he's like, I don't know

335
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,920
Speaker 1: if we should be married if like this is the

336
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,680
Speaker 1: stance you're gonna take with your father's crazy. I think

337
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,480
Speaker 1: she's the a hole obviously for like throwing stuff at

338
00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:21,200
Speaker 1: him and and getting angry. But I also think she

339
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:24,160
Speaker 1: could do better at communicating here because it's like, oh,

340
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,800
Speaker 1: my dad wants this. It sounds like she just wants it,

341
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,800
Speaker 1: and she's like putting the blame on her dad, like

342
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,520
Speaker 1: just if you want it, say you want.

343
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,440
Speaker 2: My dad wants this, and I want my dad's money.

344
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,880
Speaker 2: So if we're gonna get my dad's money, we have

345
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,600
Speaker 2: to do if my dad wants in this situation.

346
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what it Also part I think part of

347
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,480
Speaker 1: it too, is like she wants to like make your

348
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,680
Speaker 1: dad happy, right, and.

349
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,680
Speaker 2: So she's got her whole dream wedding thing. She wants

350
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,960
Speaker 2: her own thing. This is her day. Yeah, So it's

351
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 2: like she's like the way I get my day is

352
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 2: by appeasing my dad, How are you not playing the

353
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,120
Speaker 2: game right now? Dude?

354
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,520
Speaker 1: I know, yeah, it's it's a little it's a little odd.

355
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,440
Speaker 1: It's a game, yeah, it's it is. It's there's there's

356
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,160
Speaker 1: so many politics in the wedding, and right he is

357
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 1: not playing any of it.

358
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,720
Speaker 2: That's why I think it's crazy too to assume like, oh,

359
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 2: this is just going to continue for the rest of

360
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,280
Speaker 2: our lives. Now it's like, no, yeah, my dad's not

361
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,480
Speaker 2: going to just give us at our bank account every

362
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,600
Speaker 2: month for the rest of our lives.

363
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,640
Speaker 1: Like if he wanted that, then yeah, maybe we would

364
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,760
Speaker 1: have a little bit to say.

365
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:21,240
Speaker 2: But yeah, but I feel like there's a lot more

366
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,520
Speaker 2: wrong here given how this played out.

367
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,720
Speaker 1: I mean this, this exploded right quickly. This exploded quickly, and.

368
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:27,880
Speaker 2: I do want to put it out there because I

369
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 2: saw a comment being like, if the gender roles were swapped,

370
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,480
Speaker 2: we'd be calling this guy mama's boy. No, because if

371
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 2: the gender roles were swapped and it was a mother

372
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,720
Speaker 2: in law instead of a father in law, and the

373
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,560
Speaker 2: mother in law still provided the money, she would still

374
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,920
Speaker 2: have some level of say given that in order for

375
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,360
Speaker 2: the partner to have her dream wedding, she would need

376
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,760
Speaker 2: to appease mom to get the money and have the wedding. Yeah,

377
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:48,880
Speaker 2: and I like the game.

378
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,920
Speaker 1: And I again like these kinds of things are normal

379
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,800
Speaker 1: of religious folk when getting getting married like this, like

380
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,600
Speaker 1: you know, the separate rooms the married in a church,

381
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,240
Speaker 1: like these are small consolations for a day as long

382
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,760
Speaker 1: as you feel like as long as she's on board.

383
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,320
Speaker 1: It's not like like it doesn't sound like she's not

384
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 1: on board. It sounds like this is part of what

385
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:14,199
Speaker 1: she wants for like her day. And it might be

386
00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:16,639
Speaker 1: like you know, like like like Dakota said, it's like

387
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,480
Speaker 1: playing a part. It's doing a bit like you're playing.

388
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,480
Speaker 1: You're doing all these cute little traditions like oh, it's

389
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 1: so cute. We're gonna like not see like we're gonna

390
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,960
Speaker 1: stay in separate rooms or you know, like when the bride,

391
00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,000
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to see the bride before she comes out.

392
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 1: You know, there's like these cute traditions of what it

393
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,560
Speaker 1: means to get married. And maybe it's she's.

394
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,760
Speaker 2: Just playing it like that's a game, bro And honestly,

395
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,200
Speaker 2: and if at any point it goes to now your

396
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 2: wife is compromising and trying to do something, she doesn't

397
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,879
Speaker 2: want to do all right, now, it's like, what are

398
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,240
Speaker 2: we doing? This is supposed to be your day. We're

399
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,840
Speaker 2: not gonna do something you don't want to do.

400
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:49,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, Dutch Casana says, I mean she was raised by

401
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 1: these people, so I'm not surprised that she has a

402
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:55,160
Speaker 1: lot more traditional values than op is aware of. Can

403
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,200
Speaker 1: find says. And now because she wants the shiny wedding

404
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:02,919
Speaker 1: and the money, she's disagreeing disregarding her partner entirely for

405
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,120
Speaker 1: the sake of a successful transaction.

406
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,359
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that goes both ways.

407
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I do think she's maybe being a little

408
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 1: bit more dismissive or not like like moving again, I

409
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:17,080
Speaker 1: think there's bad communication on both on both sides.

410
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 2: Could I feel like you could label both of it

411
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 2: in that way? Yeah, but I agree.

412
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 1: We got some relevant comments. Opie appeared in the original comments,

413
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,320
Speaker 1: and this is a downvoted comment. This guy is a

414
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,840
Speaker 1: control freak. All the things his fiance is suggesting are

415
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,439
Speaker 1: totally normal things that people do. Having a conversation, not

416
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 1: even asking permission per se, Just having a conversation and

417
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,879
Speaker 1: getting their blessing with your intended's parents before proposing is

418
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:48,120
Speaker 1: totally normal. In common, getting married in a family's church,

419
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 1: even if you aren't especially religious, is normal. Most people

420
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:55,600
Speaker 1: spend the night before their weddings. Apart all totally normal things,

421
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,120
Speaker 1: these are pretty tame requests from someone who is funding

422
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 1: the wedding and all our things this guy would probably

423
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 1: be doing anyway. This dude wants to get into a

424
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 1: wiener measuring contest with his future father in law and

425
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 1: his piss that his fiance isn't deferring to him. Opie

426
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:15,560
Speaker 1: responds to this, but I feel like this sums up

427
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,680
Speaker 1: some of the things we've been saying, but much more harshly.

428
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,920
Speaker 2: And I don't like, Yeah, I get it, it's a

429
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,239
Speaker 2: little harsher. I don't get why that's down voted. And

430
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,680
Speaker 2: that was down voted. Here's the curate want to disagree

431
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,639
Speaker 2: with that the crux. There was a comment that said like,

432
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 2: and then the dad will do this and he will

433
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,400
Speaker 2: be the liege lord and he will hold it over.

434
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 2: And it's like if he does that, you go, hey, goofy,

435
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,360
Speaker 2: why are you trying to be a liege lord. We're

436
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 2: going to create distance between us now because you think

437
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 2: you're in charge of us when you are not boom

438
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 2: problem solved.

439
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think for this one day, it's like

440
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:49,720
Speaker 1: I feel like a wedding, Yes, is for you, but

441
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 1: it's also I mean, it's like a party for your families.

442
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:56,840
Speaker 1: It's like a union of two sides of two people. Right,

443
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 1: and Amy Lynn says, I agree with that comment. We

444
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,879
Speaker 1: got response. We would have funded eighty percent of the wedding.

445
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 1: The extra twenty percent or so were extras that my

446
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,919
Speaker 1: father in the law said he would cover, but only

447
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,160
Speaker 1: if we've fulfilled certain requests. I don't mind doing things

448
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 1: that she wants, but I want to say in these

449
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 1: things too, especially since we will be paying for the

450
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,119
Speaker 1: majority of it. And when asked if anything new happened

451
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:26,119
Speaker 1: here said, to be completely honest, not much. Wedding is

452
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 1: still on hold for the moment. We've had maybe two

453
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,479
Speaker 1: brief phone calls, one where it started out okay, then

454
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 1: it turned into where she couldn't say anything because she

455
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,360
Speaker 1: was crying so hard, and another brief one is set

456
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 1: up a time in place to talk things out. Well

457
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,679
Speaker 1: maybe update depending on how it goes. I've been mostly

458
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,439
Speaker 1: trying to pick up over time what I can to

459
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,120
Speaker 1: focus on work easier when I don't have to think

460
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,360
Speaker 1: about all this crap. At least I got some away

461
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 1: time to play some of a Hogwarts legacy role. We

462
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,359
Speaker 1: got another update.

463
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think the real core of this now is

464
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 2: no longer even the Dad. It's just the fact that, Okay,

465
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 2: you guys have completely emotionally imploded. Yeah, like there was

466
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:07,640
Speaker 2: there had to have been something lurking there that needs

467
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 2: to be addressed and talked through and work through, so

468
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:13,679
Speaker 2: you guys might be more diametrically opposed on things that

469
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,879
Speaker 2: y'all didn't realize.

470
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, yeah, this is also a good point

471
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 1: Kim find brings up to go to Sam. Do either

472
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: you want to marry someone who throws things at you?

473
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:25,560
Speaker 1: The money isn't even the biggest red flag conflict happening

474
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 1: right now.

475
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 2: Right exactly. Yeah, I mean you're right.

476
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,199
Speaker 3: I mean me, if they throw kisses at me and

477
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 3: hugs kiss it's just really Sam, they kiss rocket Launcher.

478
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 1: I mean I do, I do think throwing things. You know,

479
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 1: it depends on like what kinds of things and all that.

480
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 1: But you know, like if it's throwing pillows, maybe that's

481
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 1: more okay, and in your general I don't know, it

482
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 1: is like it it is definitely a red flag for sure, or.

483
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,960
Speaker 2: Something bigger than the ads financial support and the wedding

484
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 2: being the right way going on.

485
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I'm kind of like stressing, like the

486
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 1: bad communication on both sides too, because if people have

487
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: good communication and something like this happens, you don't immediately

488
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:16,240
Speaker 1: go to like yelling and throwing things at each other.

489
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 2: Right, So.

490
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 1: This this relationship is not on solid ground.

491
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 2: I just had I just had a thought. It's the

492
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,639
Speaker 2: fact that this guy couldn't even swallow his pride to ask,

493
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 2: which is so normal, being like, hey, do I have

494
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,199
Speaker 2: your blessing to marry your daughter? Yeah, and then in

495
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 2: your head being like I really don't care, but I'm

496
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 2: just gonna ask it. Imagine how insufferable that guy must

497
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 2: be to argue with yeah, or like to not even

498
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 2: argue just because there's a difference between arguing and disagreeing.

499
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 2: You can just like disagree and it can be like, wow,

500
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 2: we just think differently about that. That's totally fine, but

501
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,000
Speaker 2: he doesn't feel like maybe he's that kind of guy.

502
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 2: So especially when they just fought.

503
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 1: Like again, that's like the communication thing, It's like there

504
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: is a there, There is a there there is bad

505
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 1: communication all around, right, Like, I mean this is yeah,

506
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 1: Milo Everel says, it's a bit of a yellow flag

507
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 1: for me. I don't I think throwing things of any

508
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 1: nature as a as a red flag.

509
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:14,520
Speaker 2: I don't.

510
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 1: I don't really, I don't really want that. I can

511
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 1: find said something about like, you know it starts with

512
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 1: a pillow and then can escalate that. You know that

513
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 1: that that is a good point. What it shows is

514
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 1: a lack of It shows a lack of emotional control,

515
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 1: and when you don't have that, then a lot of

516
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 1: bad things can happen. So yeah, I uh says yeah, prevorce,

517
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 1: they both suck. I don't think they have good communication.

518
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,560
Speaker 1: Doesn't doesn't feel like they're Yeah, And I think he

519
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: had bad communication earlier, like he was he was like

520
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: being like, you know, obstinate before where he was like

521
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:47,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to go.

522
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,400
Speaker 2: So you think you think you can hold onto your

523
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 2: pride in a marriage and make that work without being miserable.

524
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 2: Marriage is all about compromise and letting stuff go and

525
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,880
Speaker 2: moving forward together.

526
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,400
Speaker 1: But we had an update. Hey all, I've been getting

527
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: quite a few messages asking how things are going, so

528
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 1: I figured i'd give a quick update. The wedding is

529
00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 1: not happening. We broke up. I've just moved to a

530
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:13,880
Speaker 1: new place after staying with a friend for a bit,

531
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: and I'm just figuring out life, just working and staying

532
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 1: busy with my golf league. So we X and I

533
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 1: tried to make it work for a little while after

534
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,480
Speaker 1: my update, and I think we both realized that after

535
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: what had transpired, it was not going to work.

536
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 2: Dang.

537
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 1: So that's what I got for you. Not that exciting,

538
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 1: but hey, honestly, life is pretty boring most of the time,

539
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 1: unlike what most people on Reddit would like you to believe.

540
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: But we got another update.

541
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 2: We got a good old fashioned prevorse, the successful prevorce,

542
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 2: because it really didn't sound like they were ready to

543
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 2: get married, did it.

544
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: But update three, let's go hey, everybody, to be honest,

545
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: not how much has changed. I just moved into a

546
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,400
Speaker 1: new place. My ex and I separated and we called

547
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: off the wedding. For about four months or so, I

548
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: didn't have contact with my ex. We just figured it

549
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 1: would be best to go our separays. I just buried

550
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 1: myself from work, kept trying to keep my mind off

551
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 1: of her. But out of the blue, I got a

552
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,880
Speaker 1: message from her asking how I was doing. We ended

553
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 1: up texting for a bit over the next couple of days,

554
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: and we ended up deciding we wanted to meet up

555
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 1: for a quick round of drinks to get some closure.

556
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 2: Closure. Yeah, closure, quick round.

557
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 3: Of something's that had closed in, that's for sure.

558
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 1: If you want to get close up and personal with us,

559
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 1: you should listen to full episodes of stories just like this.

560
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app

561
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 1: and search Okay, storytime, there's more. What do we think

562
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,720
Speaker 1: about this idea of closure.

563
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 2: I don't think there's any closure trying to be found.

564
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 2: I think it's that they're trying to get your clothes

565
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 2: off oil. That hit a lot harder in my head.

566
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 1: I know that nailed it, and nailed it, nailed it.

567
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:57,399
Speaker 1: I liked that closure your clothes off. Yeah, well as

568
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: a drink. So drinks went well and we continue to

569
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: text maybe once every two weeks or so. One thing

570
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: led to another, and a random night I got a

571
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 1: text from her asking you to come over to her

572
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:11,439
Speaker 1: new place.

573
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 2: Why did you pause? So? I did so? I did so?

574
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 2: I did I did.

575
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: We've kept this arrangement going for a while. No plans

576
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: on getting back together at all, but it feels nice

577
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,719
Speaker 1: to feel like a normal person every two to three weeks.

578
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: So that's really it. So your your wife just turned

579
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: into your friends with benefits.

580
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: Your wife and and your girlfriend. Congrats.

581
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like you guys were heading towards the

582
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 2: absolutely wrong.

583
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 1: This situation work is good, and I'm thinking about potentially

584
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 1: getting back out into the dating world soon. I'll have

585
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: to end the arrangement with my ex if so, but

586
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 1: I think she'll be understanding anyways. Appreciate y'all asking about me.

587
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 1: This can't be healthy. Relevant comments Gremlin in Space says,

588
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: did she ever give any excuse for her behavior back then?

589
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: Seems kind of wild to go from a happy in

590
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 1: love to engage to broken up in such a short time.

591
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,479
Speaker 1: Op responds, fair question. I didn't get too deep into that.

592
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: It basically just came down to her wanting the extra

593
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: cash for the wedding. She was just so heck bent

594
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 1: on having the perfect wedding and was willing to do

595
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 1: anything to get that. She realizes she was wrong now,

596
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 1: or at least she says she does. My hesitation is

597
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 1: obviously still there because I don't know if she is

598
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,080
Speaker 1: truthful or not. Gremlin in Space respond saying, I suppose

599
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: the real question is, then, how would this time be different?

600
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 1: If it was to be a reconciliation and her desire

601
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: to get money for a wedding, she instead imploded her

602
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 1: entire relationship and got no wedding at all. Seems a

603
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,359
Speaker 1: steep price to pay for a single day. If you

604
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: started over, would expectations be different? Would her family accept

605
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 1: you back into the fold? She seems to have a

606
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: rather additional father slash family. Would he give his blessing

607
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 1: and financial contribution a second time, and if not, would

608
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 1: she be okay with that? Do you even want a

609
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: relationship with a partner's family that is conditional to you

610
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: following the rules they have. You aren't just marrying a person,

611
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 1: you are marrying into a family, So if you're interested

612
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: in trying to start again, some of these things might

613
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: need to be considered. THEOPI response. I guess I should

614
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: clarify when I said back into dating, I didn't mean

615
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: with my ex. I think we've both realized the arrangement

616
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 1: is convenient for the time being, but I have no

617
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: intention of getting into another relationship with her. That trust

618
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: has been broken, and that is where that story ends.

619
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,679
Speaker 2: Oki Doki, your trust with her has been broken to

620
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 2: beyond repair because of that. I don't know. It just

621
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,560
Speaker 2: sounds like nonsense to me. I mean she did throw

622
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 2: things at him, Well, that's different. Do you throw She's

623
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 2: threw a bunch of stuff. That's like, you're ye again.

624
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 2: They clearly were like toxic and we're not fit to

625
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 2: be married. But it's like, I don't know, man, it's

626
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 2: nice to feel normal every two to three. It feels

627
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 2: normal to be hooking up like friends with benefits with

628
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 2: someone who you were gonna marry. That makes you feel normal.

629
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 2: Whatever you say to the guy, I guess I've.

630
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: Never been in a I've never been in that situation

631
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 1: with a wife. But I got like, I mean like, like,

632
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: I think we've all been in a situation. We've been

633
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: dating someone and you've broken up and there's a little.

634
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 2: Yeah with that period. I'm sorry that makes you feel normal,

635
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 2: not normal. I've gone through that. It's maybe one of

636
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: the most confused times of my life. I never felt

637
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 2: oh yeah, and every this is just normal. I'm like,

638
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 2: what the hell is going on with my life? What's happening?

639
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 2: I think it's normal to do though, it's normal to happen,

640
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 2: but it's not like and now, come on, my life

641
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 2: is stabilized. You would never be like my friend's watching

642
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 2: right now. A previous version of Kean all right was

643
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: a virgin before h nah.

644
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 3: I honestly, to be honest, for the most part, no,

645
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 3: I never did that. Once it was over, it was like,

646
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 3: it's over. I don't want to get back to that.

647
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 1: No slide back ever, you're telling me. Wait, you're telling

648
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: me you did not once slide back.

649
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,719
Speaker 3: I said, for the most part, Samuel all right, except

650
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 3: for the.

651
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 1: Most part of saints among us, right, dang, I well,

652
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,000
Speaker 1: we've all had slide backs.

653
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 2: Come on, everybody, We've all.

654
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 1: Everyone had a slide back.

655
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 2: Huh.

656
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, honey, I love you.

657
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: We also have another story for you. Hey, it's sam

658
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: og host. We're gone get back to these delectable stories.

659
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to

660
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 1: help support the show.

661
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 2: My partner hates me for giving our baby my last name.

662
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 1: I feel like that's a normal thing to give your baby.

663
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 2: Maybe their last name is just terrible. Yeah, trigger warning test. Yeah,

664
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 2: I think it's fine. Let's go Okay, I had a

665
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 2: baby some weeks ago with my partner to whom I

666
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,920
Speaker 2: am not married. We've been together for a while and

667
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 2: I've given many compromises in this relationship. While discussing baby's name.

668
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 2: We had a few disagreements on names, but ultimately decided

669
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 2: on a name we both like well enough. It's like

670
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 2: he just wanted to name the baby Vultron or something

671
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,120
Speaker 2: that's a sick name. This is just name might be

672
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 2: my baby that right now. By the way, this comes

673
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 2: from user careless Hornet forty three, forty three, and if

674
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,080
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

675
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime subred it. So the surname was

676
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 2: a sticking point. He wanted the baby to have his

677
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 2: name alone. I offered to hyphenate because logistically it's easier

678
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 2: for the baby to have both of our names.

679
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: Right, because they're not married.

680
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 2: Right. Yeah, he's been drinking the red pill kool aid lately,

681
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 2: a large bone of contention in this relationship, and went

682
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 2: off about Howard's tradition and the right thing to do

683
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 2: and his right as a man to have the baby

684
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 2: have his surname. You know what else is tradition? Buddy. Marriage.

685
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: I think maybe you would have more ground to stand

686
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 1: on if you guys are married.

687
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, because right now you're like falling through the sky

688
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 2: of no ground. Yeah, you stand on. He got no ground.

689
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 2: You just have a bad algorithm. Brother. He told me

690
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 2: that I'd be emasculating him and may as well. I'll

691
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,239
Speaker 2: be a single parent if I won't grant him this

692
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 2: one little ask. My word is final. The baby is

693
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 2: having one surname. This was laid in my pregnancy, and

694
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 2: I didn't have it in me to fight, so I

695
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 2: told him that I understood what he was saying. Fast

696
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 2: forward to three weeks ago, when baby's birth certificate came.

697
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 2: He blew a gasket when he saw that I'd given

698
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 2: the baby my surname. He rehashed the conversation above, saying

699
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 2: I'd agreed to giving baby his surname, and this is

700
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 2: where I might be the ahle. I did nothing of

701
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 2: the sort. I told him I understood him, which I did,

702
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 2: but I never said I agreed with him. Way to go.

703
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 2: He hit him with the loophole. Who but yeah, but

704
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 2: he's being a whole so like he got him. Just

705
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,440
Speaker 2: be like me. Read the fine print, My guy, I

706
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 2: don't know.

707
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 3: My parents weren't married or they had me. I have

708
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 3: two last names.

709
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 2: This is what it's normal. He's trying to make this

710
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 2: a powerplay move. Your baby's not a powerplay, brother, it's

711
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 2: your baby. It's her baby too, So be's baby's y'all's baby.

712
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess I would wouldn't have if I was heard.

713
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: I wanted the least amount of drama possible. I just

714
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 1: would have done the hyphenated thing instead of just her

715
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: name me.

716
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 3: Look me, I turned out not okay.

717
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel it's fine.

718
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 2: I told him there was no way I was doing

719
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 2: all the work of making a baby for him to

720
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 2: just stick his name on it. When he brought up tradition,

721
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 2: I told him it's also traditional for him to marry

722
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 2: me before having a baby, but he was happy to

723
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 2: ignore that. I told him it was traditional for him

724
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 2: to be the provider. But I do that too. And

725
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 2: that's one.

726
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 1: Great point, dude, if you're not doing anything.

727
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. You can't just be like wose

728
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 2: tradition if you're not doing all of the tradition stuff.

729
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:35,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, the tradition's come with responsibilities. You can't you can't

730
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: just shirk all the responsibility.

731
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 2: You're just being a loser right now. Yeah, it's crazy.

732
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 2: You're trying to win a fight over your baby. And

733
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 2: I pointed out other holes in his logic. I told

734
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 2: him trying to bully me into submission with with his

735
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 2: red pill bs when I was exhausted for pregnancy didn't work.

736
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 2: He should have known better than to expect me to

737
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 2: not share a surname with my child. He said, the

738
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: baby should only have one surname. Do so, why is

739
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 2: he man? He went crying to his brothers and mother,

740
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 2: all traditionalists and misogynists, and now they're all up in arms.

741
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? I don't think you're the ale?

742
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,360
Speaker 2: Look you and this can always be amended to be hyphenated.

743
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 2: I think this was more a thing to be like,

744
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 2: see how it feels you wanted me to be on

745
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 2: your side, See how you're upset. I would be upset.

746
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 2: Do you now? Do we understand right? I feel like.

747
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 1: The most angel thing to do would have been to

748
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,920
Speaker 1: hyphenate the name, because I think that would have been

749
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 1: most fair to like totally leave him off. If they're

750
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: going to have joint custody, which it seems like they are.

751
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 2: Wait, you can't amend that right name? Can you not

752
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 2: amend a birth certificate?

753
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: I mean it's not I don't think it's like a

754
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 1: super easy but you can change your name.

755
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 2: But I don't know how gues.

756
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 1: I've never really thought about that, but I feel like

757
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 1: it's I feel like it is not the best thing

758
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 1: to do. I think he's obviously acting like a total

759
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:09,520
Speaker 1: a hole. Yeah all right, Like here, here, here's the issue.

760
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:15,040
Speaker 1: If you're trying to have joint custody with this guy,

761
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 1: like why do the thing that would make him most upset,

762
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:25,359
Speaker 1: Like do the hyphenated thing that seems like the that

763
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: feels like the middle ground which you you presented, Like

764
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 1: do that, and yes, he's gonna be mad, but like

765
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: that there there he has no right to be.

766
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 2: You know what. I bet he does there though. I

767
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 2: bet he just completely ignores her part of the highten.

768
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 2: It will just never acknowledge that that is.

769
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's prerogative. But I I think.

770
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 2: It's like, you guys aren't a great match.

771
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're definitely not a great match. I bet I

772
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: would I would say, like, is this some I mean,

773
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,400
Speaker 1: can you get full custody. Is this not someone you like?

774
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 1: Could you not get full custody here? Did he sign

775
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,439
Speaker 1: the birth certificate? I don't even know if he would there.

776
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 1: Cayle Van Campus says it's definitely not easy. I was

777
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,719
Speaker 1: going to get my dad's last name off my name

778
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 1: and it was a process in Colorado. Haven't done it yet.

779
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 1: Freddie Horsfranch says she has to take it to the

780
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 1: appointment school, et cetera. He is going to be useless.

781
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:19,279
Speaker 1: The baby isn't born yet, And Kelsey Jade I.

782
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 2: Thought, I'm not I'm not catering to any red pill ideology. Yeah,

783
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:24,239
Speaker 2: I'm certainly not going.

784
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 1: I don't think she should give it, just like like

785
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 1: his last name for sure, and he's acting like a

786
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,720
Speaker 1: total a hole. But I don't know if like that

787
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,959
Speaker 1: that bait and switch is a is a good move,

788
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 1: even if he's acting like a Nables. But I'm down

789
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 1: to be wrong on this. I would I would love

790
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:41,879
Speaker 1: to know what you guys think.

791
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 2: My initial vibe on this guy is I bet you

792
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,239
Speaker 2: he's just gonna leave. He bet you he's gonna be

793
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 2: like and this is my perfect out, that's not my child.

794
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 2: He's gonna pull one of those. I'd put money on it.

795
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 2: Let's see. Edit. We are not married or engaged. I

796
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 2: don't believe in it, and he's never seen the point

797
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 2: of bringing the state into relationship. So we agreed. Didn't

798
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 2: ever marry buddy. It's the benefits that you get from it.

799
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 2: He's on the birth certificate as the father of the baby.

800
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:10,760
Speaker 2: The baby just has my last name, but father is listed.

801
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:13,720
Speaker 2: Relevant comments here that makes.

802
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: You feel like he's still the A hole, but just

803
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 1: putting your name. Because it sounds like they are together,

804
00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 1: but I don't know that they both just didn't want

805
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:24,800
Speaker 1: to get married.

806
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 2: It sounds like they're low key. It sounds like they

807
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 2: hate each other.

808
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: It does sound like that's what that's the vibe that

809
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 1: I got, that they don't like each other, but it

810
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: sounds like they are together in a relationship.

811
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 2: Don't be Don't be in a relationship with someone you hate.

812
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:41,560
Speaker 2: What are we talking about? Don't do that.

813
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 1: Some one says, Oh my god, I think I know. Op,

814
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,760
Speaker 1: that's crazy. This is crazy.

815
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 2: If you do, let me know, all right, let's keep going.

816
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 2: Commenter here says, not the a hole. You told the

817
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 2: truth and nothing more. If I read your post, correctly.

818
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:57,479
Speaker 2: You agreed the baby would have one surname. You didn't

819
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,759
Speaker 2: agree to which one. So why are you with this guy?

820
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 2: He doesn't respect you, he doesn't provide for you and

821
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 2: the baby. So please don't stay because you need him

822
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 2: or love him. That is a great point, op he says,

823
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,960
Speaker 2: I am reconsidering the relationship. The truth is he wasn't

824
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 2: always like this. He fell on hard times and unfortunately

825
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,480
Speaker 2: chose to cope with that in an unhealthy way. At

826
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 2: his core, I believe he is good, but I need

827
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 2: to have a frank conversation about the ideologies he's leaning

828
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 2: into and the harm it's causing in our relationship. To

829
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:30,919
Speaker 2: another commenter asking why she is with him, I hate

830
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 2: that I sound like every enabler, and perhaps I need

831
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 2: to do some introspection to see if that's what I've become.

832
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 2: But he wasn't always like this. Life has been hard lately,

833
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 2: and his coping strategies have led us to hear I

834
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 2: need to have a conversation about this. Commenter says, not

835
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 2: the ahle, and please do not relent and change the

836
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,680
Speaker 2: baby's name. I just had a baby in August and

837
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 2: crap is tiring. Congrats on your new edition, and my

838
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 2: condolences that you have to spend eighteen years dealing with

839
00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 2: this family though Op, he says, I'm beyond in love

840
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 2: with my tiny human I hope you're doing well too

841
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,440
Speaker 2: with yours. Should this spell the end, I'm lucky to

842
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 2: have my village and the means to minimize this suckiness

843
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 2: of breakups. There's no world in which any child I

844
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 2: birth will not share a surname with me. My compromise

845
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 2: of a double barreled surname stands. No other offer is

846
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 2: on the table. Info asks a commenter, why are you

847
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,479
Speaker 2: still in contact with all those people that do nothing

848
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,240
Speaker 2: for you? Seems you would lose a lot of stress, anxiety,

849
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 2: and financial hardships by just cutting this person loose.

850
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: I agree, Yeah, you are right. Does feel like they

851
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: don't like each other?

852
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, Op asks for a clarificationeer which people. Sorry baby's

853
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 2: dad and his family he stormed out on Thursday night.

854
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 2: Friday morning, his mother sent me a voice note berating me, ha,

855
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 2: I've received messages from his family criticizing me for my decision,

856
00:39:47,880 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 2: but no word from my partner. I have not responded

857
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 2: to any of them, so it's one way communication. At

858
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 2: the moment, Ope commenting on their life. I'm very fortunate

859
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,360
Speaker 2: to be in a position where I don't need anything

860
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 2: from him. I'm financially secure. I have a good job

861
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 2: and a good support system. I don't need his financial

862
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 2: backing to raise this child. I've texted him asking him

863
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 2: to come home so we can just talk. I'm thinking

864
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 2: of having a mediator or a neutral party there to

865
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:16,040
Speaker 2: avoid things getting out of hand. OPI was voted not

866
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 2: the Ahole, and we have an update.

867
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think the more information I'm getting,

868
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: the more I'm like, you should break up and potentially, like,

869
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 1: I mean, if if you think you could be a

870
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,919
Speaker 1: good father, if he wants to be involved, I guess

871
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 1: you would have to have them be involved. But yeah,

872
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a good idea to stay together.

873
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, low key. It sounds like Op's being soft in

874
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 2: that description of her partner probably struggling with some kind

875
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 2: of substance abuse issues. Do we know that? Because it's like, well,

876
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 2: he's got these unhealthy coping strategies and this and that,

877
00:40:45,239 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 2: and it's I don't know if you can just unhealthily

878
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,839
Speaker 2: cope with red. I mean, maybe they're not maybe they're

879
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 2: not putting that out there, but it's like maybe increased aggression,

880
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:55,800
Speaker 2: increased whatever.

881
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an assumption, but you know, it's a lot

882
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:00,000
Speaker 1: of unhealthy ways.

883
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 3: It looks like Sarah's.

884
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 2: That's like the top of unhealthy coping mechanism pyramid. It's

885
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 2: usually up there.

886
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: No way, you know o p Sarah, Well, don't outer, Way,

887
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: don't outer tell us the last names.

888
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 2: And social Security numbers and the three digits on the

889
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:18,839
Speaker 2: back of your parents' credit card. We promise, yes, thank you,

890
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 2: We're giving you. Got an update, an update. Hey it's Sam.

891
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to these stories. But here's three

892
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors. So it turns out

893
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 2: he's got deep seated resentment for me. Lol. Here's what

894
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:35,560
Speaker 2: he resents me for earning more money than him, being

895
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: further along in my career than he is. Not losing

896
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:42,080
Speaker 2: my job during the VID like he did, having parents

897
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 2: who love and support me, not being a submissive woman lol,

898
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 2: having a present and loving father, not combining our finances

899
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 2: under his control, thus making him feel small. What a

900
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 2: catch that guy sounds like. So yeah, just leave him,

901
00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 2: leave him behind. Perfect solution. I'm I'm so glad his

902
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 2: name's not attached to the baby.

903
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think you can just like even

904
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: if they are a dead beat, if they're not like abusive,

905
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 1: but they're just like, I don't know, not contributing as much.

906
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 1: I don't think that is enough to cut them completely

907
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 1: out of seeing their child.

908
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 2: Oh not seeing No, they can see the child. But

909
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 2: I think just being like no, do not, do not

910
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 2: continue your relationship with this, I'm saying, of course he

911
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 2: gets to leave the child. On the brighter side, I'm

912
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 2: twelve weeks postpartum and already seventy five kilograms lighter.

913
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:37,800
Speaker 1: Whoa, this is your baby with this has seventy kilogram.

914
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,280
Speaker 2: Editor's note, Opie is making a joke about losing the boyfriend.

915
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:45,759
Speaker 2: Oh right, like dang, OPI, your baby was huge, gave

916
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 2: birth to Like what was the uh? Who is the guy?

917
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 2: Paul Bunyan. Paul Buny gave birth to Paul Bunyan. Paul

918
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,719
Speaker 2: Punyan is what you first call with. I thought about

919
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:59,239
Speaker 2: Paul Bunyan at a while. It's just the big mountain guy. Yeah, dude,

920
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:02,479
Speaker 2: he's huge. When I last came here, I said I'd

921
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 2: asked him to come home and discuss our future with baby,

922
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,879
Speaker 2: preferably in the presence of a neutral party. He left

923
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 2: me on red for a few days, though I could

924
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,280
Speaker 2: see he was spying on us through the ringing doorbell

925
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 2: and baby's monitor. I disconnected them both, and then he

926
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 2: finally responded. He came home, still irate. His stance still

927
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 2: hadn't changed. He seemed to have been bolstered by the

928
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 2: days he spent with his family. He rejected my request

929
00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 2: for us to do this in the presence of a

930
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 2: couple's therapist, the best neutral compromise I could offer. I

931
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,400
Speaker 2: asked him how he proposed we move forward then, and

932
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: he went on a rant where the above came out.

933
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 2: It was a full mask off moment. If there was

934
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:44,800
Speaker 2: any part of me that wanted you guys to be

935
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 2: wrong about him, it passed away. That day, he again

936
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 2: rejected the offer to hyphen eight baby surname. Apparently, I'm

937
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 2: disrespectful and insolent. Insolent is a crazy word to use

938
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:56,760
Speaker 2: to describe your wife.

939
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, especially when you are the insolent one.

940
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 2: There is no partnership here, which, funny enough, that's his

941
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:07,800
Speaker 2: mother's favorite words to use to scold people. She disagrees

942
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 2: with and I am all these things for refusing to

943
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 2: do what's right and giving the baby there right full surname.

944
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: I told him I won't go through the administrative nightmare

945
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 2: of having a different surname to my child, and lots

946
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: of data shows that a double barreled surname is social

947
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 2: currency that has positive connotations. But he still would not budge.

948
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 2: I told him, neither would I. Baby either has both

949
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,120
Speaker 2: our surnames or just mine. He asked if this was

950
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,319
Speaker 2: a hill I wanted this relationship to pass away on

951
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 2: if I was prepared to throw half a decade down

952
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:42,799
Speaker 2: the drain over my silly little feminism, I told him

953
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 2: I wasn't sure that was anything left to fight for.

954
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:50,920
Speaker 2: We broke up, thankfully. R in his name Lise expires.

955
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 2: At the end of May. I called my dad and

956
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 2: he came to help me pack up Baby X went

957
00:44:56,200 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 2: back to his mom's whole we packed. I messaged him

958
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,359
Speaker 2: to suggest we still need couples counseling, which is true

959
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,400
Speaker 2: if you want a co parent, because oh, he sees

960
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 2: the light here and you're, you know, a blockhead. X

961
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 2: is trying to turn this into a battle where it's

962
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 2: man versus woman, just raise your kid. We need to

963
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 2: learn to be co parents and they can help us

964
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 2: establish a healthy way of doing that. He again said

965
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 2: no to that. My mom wanted to take me and

966
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 2: baby on a baby moon holiday after this stressful period,

967
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 2: but he would not grant permission for me to take

968
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:36,080
Speaker 2: baby abroad. Great. It was at that moment I wished

969
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 2: I didn't have him on the birth certificate like some

970
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 2: of y'all had accused me of. It's going to be

971
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,560
Speaker 2: a long road ahead. I've instructed a lawyer to help

972
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:44,600
Speaker 2: us set up a formal agreement to avoid this in

973
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 2: the future.

974
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, finding a way to co parent. This is

975
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 1: gonna be tough because he does not sound like someone

976
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:50,960
Speaker 1: who is agreeable.

977
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:54,600
Speaker 2: He's not responding to correspondence from the lawyer, so that's fun.

978
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 2: He's sulking. Used to do this a lot when things

979
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,799
Speaker 2: didn't go his way. I hope he'll soon realize I

980
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,879
Speaker 2: know longer have time for his bs, and I won't

981
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 2: be toyed with because I called his bluff and ended

982
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:07,959
Speaker 2: the relationship. And I'm pretty sure him just ignoring your

983
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,840
Speaker 2: lawyer's correspondence, Like if he continues to do that, I

984
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 2: think a court will just grant you full custody. I

985
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,520
Speaker 2: think I think what they will interpret if he just

986
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:20,359
Speaker 2: remains dead silent on this, they will just interpret that

987
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 2: as he's just giving up his rights as a parent's. He's

988
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 2: just refusing to play ball. He refuses to come to

989
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 2: the table. So yeah, we will grant you full custody

990
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:29,759
Speaker 2: because he literally doesn't want anything to do with it. Yeah,

991
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:33,799
Speaker 2: I think I gotta assume. I gotta assume a court

992
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,359
Speaker 2: wouldn't go, oh, he's just a little widow boy, and

993
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 2: he he was just so overwhelmed. He can't do anything

994
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 2: about it.

995
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,359
Speaker 1: What I like, were you know, like you didn't even

996
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,319
Speaker 1: you didn't know that your child was born. You wanted

997
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: to be in its life, but you were like stuck

998
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 1: in the Amazon for two years.

999
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 2: Okay, let's know that's different. You're not ignoring correspondence then,

1000
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 2: But I'm sure I'm saying it's not just this one time.

1001
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,799
Speaker 2: I'm saying, if he continues to just ignore this situation,

1002
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 2: I'm sure that the courts will then inevitably rule in

1003
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 2: your favor. So I think maybe that might be great.

1004
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:05,399
Speaker 1: Beause but he could prove, like he could say, oh,

1005
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,400
Speaker 1: I didn't see it, which is why they have.

1006
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 2: But that's yeah, that's why. It's like you get subpoena.

1007
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:13,520
Speaker 1: You get you know exactly you've been served. Yeah, you

1008
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 1: know you can't ignore it.

1009
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 2: Right, Well, no you can. You can't ignore it. You

1010
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 2: just get legal consequences for it. Yeah. So, to end

1011
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 2: this on a bright note, the house I wanted us

1012
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 2: to buy a couple of years ago, which he talked

1013
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,200
Speaker 2: me out of until he was back on his feet again,

1014
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 2: despite us being able to afford it on my salary alone,

1015
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 2: is back on the market. I took that as fate.

1016
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 2: It's time to move on from this man. Yes, it's

1017
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 2: a beautiful Victorian terrace near good schools, good transport links,

1018
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 2: a small garden, and it's close to my parents. A

1019
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,759
Speaker 2: perfect setup. It'd be the perfect home for baby and me.

1020
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 2: I put in an offer last night. Wish me luck.

1021
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 2: It's in a chain, so if my offer is accepted,

1022
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,920
Speaker 2: it won't be ours for months, but my parents have

1023
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,720
Speaker 2: allowed baby and I to move into their granny annex

1024
00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 2: for free. Gotta love the village. This is amazing. Yes,

1025
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 2: and there are some relevant comments. Commenter says he sounds

1026
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,239
Speaker 2: like a horrible person and he'll probably pass down his

1027
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 2: horrible ideology, says women and relationships to your child. Yeah,

1028
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 2: he's really Yeah.

1029
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:14,120
Speaker 1: That's the thing that sucks about raising some like a

1030
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 1: child with someone that you just fundamentally disagree with, is like,

1031
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 1: this guy is gonna pass on his toxic red bill behavior.

1032
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1033
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 1: Again, I'd be like, maybe, I know, coco melon seems

1034
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: pretty cool, but have you heard of the red pill wormhole?

1035
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 2: I heard coco melon was cool, but if you were

1036
00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 2: watched Kayukyu's the most red pill ball kill Kayu. Oh god,

1037
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,560
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that kid gets what he wants or nothing.

1038
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:49,399
Speaker 2: I don't know you or him, no offense and that relationship.

1039
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,279
Speaker 2: But is co parenting even worth it? Yeah? And I

1040
00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 2: just on my fingers crossed that this guy's going to

1041
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 2: continue to make himself a non issue or like completely

1042
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 2: absent from the But I bet his mom I'll be like, oh,

1043
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 2: you have to. He sounds like he's being ruled by

1044
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 2: mom here.

1045
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 1: But you know, I mean not only would by I

1046
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 1: think he's like his mom is toxic and his family

1047
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,919
Speaker 1: is toxic, and also he is rushing up on his toxicity. Yeah,

1048
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 1: he is toxic all around.

1049
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:19,919
Speaker 2: In the toxicity gym, bumping iron. Oh that sucks, dude,

1050
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 2: so Opie says. I mean he hasn't asked to see

1051
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:26,320
Speaker 2: the baby since we broke up, So, to be honest,

1052
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,760
Speaker 2: I don't think I'll have to do much co parenting

1053
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 2: with him. We have a second update, which is three

1054
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:33,879
Speaker 2: and a half months later from the original post.

1055
00:49:33,960 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 1: Oh whoa, I'm hoping Opi has dropped some dead weight

1056
00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:39,480
Speaker 1: or it has made her husband have like a little

1057
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:40,799
Speaker 1: bit more limited Do you.

1058
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:41,760
Speaker 3: Remember the trigger warning?

1059
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 2: Remember the trigger warning?

1060
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:52,320
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no.

1061
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 3: Because I also forgot about the trigger warning until I

1062
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 3: saw that first line.

1063
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 1: Oh too, I also forgot about the trigger way I

1064
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: forgot about the trick bigger warning.

1065
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 3: Hey, do you want to remind the viewers what the

1066
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 3: trigger warning is? Because if they came late, the.

1067
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 2: Trigger warning is death death death. Well, he passed away.

1068
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:16,000
Speaker 2: He passed away a week after my last update. Okay,

1069
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 2: makes co parents easier. Everything we said still kind of

1070
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 2: stands though.

1071
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 4: That well, maybe maybe that's why he was ignoring the correspondence. Oh,

1072
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 4: there's so many jokes I want to make, but I

1073
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:32,640
Speaker 4: can't make them.

1074
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:37,000
Speaker 2: It's okay, it's even those guys of his glub. It's

1075
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:41,560
Speaker 2: old sad. It's sad. It's sad. It's a little said.

1076
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 2: It can be sad. It's confusing, at the very least,

1077
00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 2: at the very least, it's confused.

1078
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 3: It could be frustrating.

1079
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 2: I wonder how it happened. His funeral was last month,

1080
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 2: and it's been a nightmare. He heard from a mutual

1081
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 2: friend that I'd put an offer in on the house

1082
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 2: and came to my parents, where a baby and I

1083
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 2: were staying, in a wasted rage. It was late after

1084
00:51:01,520 --> 00:51:04,360
Speaker 2: ten and he was causing a ruckus and disturbing the neighbors.

1085
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 2: He wouldn't leave and kept hurling nasty things at me.

1086
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 2: How I was keeping his baby from him, despite him

1087
00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 2: making zero effort to see him after we separated, How

1088
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 2: I robbed him of his legacy, how I couldn't wait

1089
00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:19,840
Speaker 2: to get rid of him, and how much he hated me.

1090
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 2: He went from begging to pleading, to cursing me out

1091
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 2: and trying to break down my parents' door, to then crying.

1092
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:29,960
Speaker 2: I opened a window and told him to leave or

1093
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 2: we'd call the police. He refused, so we called the police.

1094
00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,640
Speaker 2: He ran away. I'm still not sure on the details

1095
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 2: because his family won't tell me, but I gather he

1096
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 2: was trying to cross a busy road with the awareness

1097
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 2: of a wasted, angry man and got hit by a car.

1098
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 2: Oh he passed away before the ambulance arrived. Oh. I

1099
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 2: found out when his mother called, screaming down the phone,

1100
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:56,399
Speaker 2: crying about how I'd unlived him. She blames me. Even

1101
00:51:56,440 --> 00:51:58,359
Speaker 2: at his funeral, she made sure to tell people how

1102
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:01,359
Speaker 2: I was to blame for her baby boys untimely death, which, hey,

1103
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:05,040
Speaker 2: you know what, grieving mother can't really blame her. I

1104
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 2: feel like maybe a lot of that could actually be

1105
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 2: directed back at her for sort of enabling and amplifying

1106
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:16,280
Speaker 2: some of these thoughts or behaviors he was having about

1107
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 2: his acts and the child and what he deserves and

1108
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 2: what he wants. Really, Mom should have just been telling

1109
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 2: him to go get a job. But I digress. I

1110
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 2: know it's not my fault. Rationally and logically, I did

1111
00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 2: not tell him to make the series of bad decisions

1112
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 2: that led to his passing. But I still feel guilty.

1113
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:35,600
Speaker 2: Of course you do. She got a heart and it's

1114
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:38,840
Speaker 2: a complicated, very confusing situation. His mother tried to claim

1115
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 2: his life insurance that I paid for. She said he'd

1116
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,760
Speaker 2: told her he'd changed it for her to be the beneficiary.

1117
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 2: I don't really know how true it is, but I

1118
00:52:47,880 --> 00:52:50,399
Speaker 2: refused and told her the purpose was to help set

1119
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,920
Speaker 2: baby up for life if one or both of us

1120
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 2: met an untimely passing, So that's what it will do.

1121
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:59,359
Speaker 2: She threatened to assume me, but I don't know where

1122
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 2: that will lead. What a horrific woman to the last

1123
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 2: thing that her son could do, maybe is that the

1124
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,520
Speaker 2: life insurance policy had will provide for his child. And

1125
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 2: she's going to sue for that. She's literally despicable. I

1126
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,760
Speaker 2: spit on her. I know that's maybe a little rough,

1127
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 2: but that's how I feel about that. Can't can't see

1128
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 2: that that's for your grandchild? I mean.

1129
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 1: He he literally like, didn't he intend for that to

1130
00:53:26,239 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 1: go to his grandchild?

1131
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 2: It sounds like it. And now Mom again, So that's

1132
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 2: I feel very vindicated in my statement that Mom was

1133
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 2: very much a toxic like coach in his corner.

1134
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 1: I mean that apple doesn't fire fall fall far from

1135
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: the tree. Yeah, you definitely know the influences.

1136
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:48,279
Speaker 2: But I would never spit on you for listening to

1137
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 2: full episodes of stories just like this.

1138
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 3: No way you We're not going to use that. I

1139
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 3: use it all right.

1140
00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:00,439
Speaker 2: Just go to Spotify or I Heart ready our Apple

1141
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 2: podcasts and search up Okay, story Time and you can

1142
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:09,359
Speaker 2: listen to almost twenty five hundred episodes and boil Boy

1143
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,400
Speaker 2: till your ears fall off. Need a little levity there, people,

1144
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:17,480
Speaker 2: just a little Anyway, we're at the end of the story. Well,

1145
00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 2: let's go. I think we've spoken our piece.

1146
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, we spoke at our pieces. Let's hit this end.

1147
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 2: I am exhausted, i am tired, and I'm grieving, and

1148
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,239
Speaker 2: I'm being told I have no right to mourn him.

1149
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,200
Speaker 2: We got the house, but it won't wait. We got

1150
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:35,759
Speaker 2: the house. Don't have to win. Get nice, nice, We

1151
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:39,240
Speaker 2: got the house. Something good can happen. We got the house,

1152
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 2: but it won't be ready until late September. His mother

1153
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 2: tried to claim a share of that too, even though

1154
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:48,239
Speaker 2: her son made no contributions to it. They've made no

1155
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 2: efforts to see baby and refuse to let me visit

1156
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 2: the funeral parlor with them to say goodbye to their debt.

1157
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 2: I'm drained. I was supposed to go back to work soon,

1158
00:54:56,560 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 2: but thankfully my employer is understanding. We've booked a trip

1159
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:02,360
Speaker 2: out of the country while we wait for the house's completion.

1160
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 2: I have been the target of a campaign for my

1161
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 2: ex's family, who are calling me all sorts of nonsensical things,

1162
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 2: and can't you end that's where it ends. Make a

1163
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:18,479
Speaker 2: make a make a you know, have a paper trail

1164
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:20,879
Speaker 2: of the evidence of their harassment of you, so that

1165
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:24,280
Speaker 2: you can then give them legal consequences for it. Yeah,

1166
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 2: I know it's exhausting. Could probably the best moves Just

1167
00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:32,240
Speaker 2: get out of town, enjoy your baby, enjoy your family.

1168
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:34,839
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, I mean that is that is an

1169
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 1: incredibly rough situation. I'm sorry you have to go through that, ope,

1170
00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 1: but I feel like life is going to get better

1171
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 1: from this point out.

1172
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:45,080
Speaker 2: Yes, up swing, we can always upswing. And it's a

1173
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:48,480
Speaker 2: terrible thing to happen, but like it's you know you

1174
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 2: it could be for the best. Yeah, I don't wish

1175
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 2: anyone's passing. But this guy said, what if this you know,

1176
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:59,960
Speaker 2: this guy has tendencies that could very well lead to abuse.

1177
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 1: Actually have tendency, right, yeah I could, even if unintentional,

1178
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 1: could hurt the child. Maybe clear this guy's passing away.

1179
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:10,280
Speaker 2: I do not wish the passing of any of these people,

1180
00:56:10,440 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 2: but life is mysterious.

1181
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:15,880
Speaker 1: But that is where that story ends and this episode,

1182
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:20,319
Speaker 1: so if you'll we really ended on a rough note. Yeah,

1183
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 1: well ended on a rough note.

1184
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,800
Speaker 2: Now they got the house to Upswing. Brief is complicated, Upswing,

1185
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 2: You're going to be in a better place.

1186
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 1: But that is where his story end. Episode added, So

1187
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 1: if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

1188
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:36,239
Speaker 2: We love you and see you tomorrow.