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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to stuff I never told you, Protection by Heart Radio.

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Speaker 1: And Happy New Year, Smandy fam and Annie thank you

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Speaker 1: to you as well. And we are back recording for

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Speaker 1: the first time in twenty twenty five. WHOA that number

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Speaker 1: seems so foreign.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're in.

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Speaker 1: The middle of the twenty twenties, and in my head

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Speaker 1: we're still just at the beginning.

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Speaker 2: You're stuck in the past.

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Speaker 1: Very much so. Is this what happens is with aging

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Speaker 1: where you don't feel like you're aging, so therefore time

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Speaker 1: just stops. That's where I am in life. Hope you

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Speaker 1: are keeping warm, because damn is cold, y'all. Annie and

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Speaker 1: I are looking like we are in the middle of

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Speaker 1: like Antarctica essentially, with like hoodies up and beanies on

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Speaker 1: and so many things because we are cold. This is Georgia.

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Speaker 1: I know for many of y'all you're in the middle

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Speaker 1: of it as well. And I hope you're keeping warm

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Speaker 1: during this arctic freeze that this I guess happening. Supposedly

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Speaker 1: we might get snow. I don't know if that is true.

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Speaker 1: I would like a little snow, that would be nice,

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Speaker 1: A little Yeah. I say this as someone who works

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Speaker 1: from home, so I know that I'm privileged in that way.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it's cold, I'm cold, and I saw Kansas

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Speaker 1: I've got I don't know why. My TikTok is flooded

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Speaker 1: with Kansas information and they're all they're in the middle

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Speaker 1: like a pretty dire like snowstorm. I hope y'all are okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let us know what's going on over there. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: I say I'm somewhat prepared, I guess, And this is

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Speaker 1: all right now I'm currently talking about the US. I

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Speaker 1: haven't looked beyond. I'm sure other people have been aready

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Speaker 1: affected by everything that's going on. But I will say

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Speaker 1: I do have my electric blanket, four pairs of booties

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Speaker 1: slash slippers. Yeah, two of those are boot addition like

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Speaker 1: house slippers cozy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm like, I don't know where this came from.

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Speaker 1: But okay, I do know where it came from Christmas,

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Speaker 1: Thanks parents. I also have a warm Judge dog that

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Speaker 1: gets especially cuddly during the cold days. It is all

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Speaker 1: about survival. She doesn't really want to cuddle, she just

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Speaker 1: wants my body heat. I'll think it. I'm needy. And

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Speaker 1: with that, we thought we would take a look at

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Speaker 1: some of the advice on how to begin this year

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Speaker 1: with some feminists, resolutions or goals as you might put it,

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Speaker 1: I guess instead of saying resolutions, because we don't love

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Speaker 1: that word typically. Of course. You know, we've talked about

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Speaker 1: that before. How often these traditions for the New Years

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Speaker 1: often put women in a place of hopelessness and self doubt.

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Speaker 1: So we don't want to harp on that. We've talked

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Speaker 1: about how that is not healthy and this whole level

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Speaker 1: of like being perfect or being this better self. Eh,

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Speaker 1: it's for the birds, and it's really kind of setting

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Speaker 1: yourself up to fail. But it's also a time of reflection,

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Speaker 1: whether we want to or not. You know, it's just

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Speaker 1: that kind of timing. You know, you look back on

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Speaker 1: what's happened, think about how the things that you how

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Speaker 1: many things that you wish you could change, not necessarily

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Speaker 1: about yourself personally, but like maybe the world, maybe the world,

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Speaker 1: I say, But with that, before we start, Annie, how

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Speaker 1: was your New Year's.

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Speaker 2: It was fine, It was good. It was strange because

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Speaker 2: New Year's and Christmas were Wednesdays. Yeah, it was like

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Speaker 2: the middle of the week, and so and I maybe

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Speaker 2: this should be one of my goal goals is to

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Speaker 2: actually take time off. Because of that, I wasn't like

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Speaker 2: I had to work around it, so I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It was one of those things where it kind of

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Speaker 2: like passed and then I had to go back and

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Speaker 2: do get back to work, Like yeah, but I did

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Speaker 2: have I got to hang out with a lot of

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Speaker 2: my friends more than once, which is we don't get

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Speaker 2: to see each other that often, so it was cool

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Speaker 2: to hang out with them, and I made my traditional

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Speaker 2: meal and that was really good, did all my traditions around,

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Speaker 2: watching Star Wars and stuff. It was great in that way.

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Speaker 1: Great, yeah, all yeah. We ended up spending our New

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Speaker 1: Years with my partner's family, so this is the first

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Speaker 1: time I think we spent it outside of just me

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Speaker 1: and him. One of the reasons is because I think

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Speaker 1: I've talked about this before. The New Year's around My

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Speaker 1: neighborhood is full of guns. Shoot a lot of guns here,

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Speaker 1: which is really funny because yes, that is kind of

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Speaker 1: a stereotype of the US and then of Atlanta. But

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Speaker 1: I'm into so you know, there's that. But and I

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Speaker 1: don't own a gun. I've never used their fire a gun.

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Speaker 1: But all that to say, is there people are trigger

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Speaker 1: happy for the New Year's and it's scares that of me.

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Speaker 1: So we were not here for that, which was kind

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Speaker 1: of great. Instead, we were in Florida with his family

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Speaker 1: and it was lovely. We all stayed up till midnight cheers,

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Speaker 1: and then I went immediately to bed because I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm tired of why am I up this late? I

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Speaker 1: did make collars, like from scratch myself black eyed peas

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Speaker 1: because I would like, I think that's such a Southern thing.

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Speaker 1: Not that that his family's not Southern, they are, but

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Speaker 1: like they don't do those types of traditions, and I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: we have to do these traditions. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: you're talking about, not that it's going to help or anything,

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Speaker 1: but just feels like it needs to be done. So

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Speaker 1: I did do that.

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Speaker 2: Kudos to me.

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Speaker 1: The colors were really good. I was very proud of those.

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Speaker 1: But again, like I said, we don't necessarily love resolutions.

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Speaker 1: But do you have any like to do things or

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Speaker 1: goals on your list this year? Any take time off?

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Speaker 2: Take time off would be a good one. I think.

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Speaker 2: I know I've talked about this before. I used to

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Speaker 2: be really big into like I have all these things

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Speaker 2: I want to accomplish, and this year it's been kind

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Speaker 2: of moving this way for a couple of years. But

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Speaker 2: like my mom asked me, boy, what are your resolutions,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going. My resolution is to make

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Speaker 2: it to the next day. I keep going because, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I thought. I think it also kind of relates to

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Speaker 2: the recent happy hour we did about not knowing what

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Speaker 2: time it is anymore right that it does feel more. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I should take more time off. That's a good one.

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Speaker 2: I should. I need to. I need to sit down

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Speaker 2: and think about this clearly.

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Speaker 1: I haven't. I'm on you just now.

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Speaker 2: No, it's fine. I mean I should have already, but

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Speaker 2: I think it would be to maybe be okay with

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Speaker 2: like some days is not gonna be okay. And I'll

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Speaker 2: think about other specific things, like okay, I have writing

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Speaker 2: goals and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Oh, so we'll come back then because I'm

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Speaker 1: also going to do things for the lunar New Years,

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Speaker 1: which you know, I'm really big into have been for

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Speaker 1: the past few years, which we're gonna do a whole

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Speaker 1: conversation on that. But with that, I'll ask you then

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Speaker 1: how about that we'll let you said it for the

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Speaker 1: lunar frame. Okay, I think on it. You got you

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Speaker 1: got a couple of weeks before we come background. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: for me, I would say going to the dentist, but

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Speaker 1: not only going to the dentist, because I have been going.

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Speaker 1: I will say, I do go to the dentist to

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Speaker 1: get it cleaning and such, and then like the X

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Speaker 1: rays and do all of that, But the amount of

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Speaker 1: work that has to be done on my teeth. Orphan

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Speaker 1: kid here literally that had a lot of like malnutrition

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Speaker 1: as a child ritually affected my teeth. And I did

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Speaker 1: have a specialist, but like everything got pushed back till

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Speaker 1: I got a permanent teeth be my own insurance. My

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Speaker 1: parents are like, I can't, we can't afford this. Fair enough,

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Speaker 1: y'all fair enough because they have four kids, and this

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Speaker 1: one was like, I have thousands and thousands of dollars

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Speaker 1: of work for my teeth. I'll let to say, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do it this year. I'm gonna start it this year.

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Speaker 1: Okay with our insurance, I'm gonna start it this year.

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Speaker 1: Find someone that does a financial plan anyway, that's one

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Speaker 1: of the goals, at the very least, starting and then

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Speaker 1: the other one is just to try to keep it

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Speaker 1: pseudo together, so have I'm okay with having a few

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Speaker 1: bad days, but not having consistently bad days, So that's

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Speaker 1: the other goal. I'm feeling they'll be fair enough. Right.

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Speaker 1: So with that, if you, like Annie, are looking for

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Speaker 1: some motivations on how to do some goal setting, here's

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Speaker 1: some helpful, helpful ideas for a feminist resolutions or maybe

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Speaker 1: feminist goals, we'll just say it that way. And this

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Speaker 1: one that's actually from the Women's Fund Armenia. So I

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Speaker 1: feel like they have a whole different level of conversation

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Speaker 1: in this at which I'm like, yeah, we are really privileged,

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Speaker 1: but it's still like still global, it is still late

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Speaker 1: for everyone. And this was created in twenty twenty three

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Speaker 1: in preparation for twenty twenty three, so little dated, but

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Speaker 1: it still stands. It still stands. I also looked at

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Speaker 1: take upspace, theapy dot com, who has a whole thing

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Speaker 1: that they have like workbooks if you need it to

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Speaker 1: go look into feminist goal setting and about how not

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Speaker 1: to set yourself up for failure literally talking about as

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Speaker 1: we talked about previously, how a lot of these things

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Speaker 1: are about perfectionism and teaching women that they're not perfect.

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Speaker 1: If they're not perfect, they're not good enough. And we

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Speaker 1: don't like that conversation. No, no, no, we talk about

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Speaker 1: trying to really do some things that benefit us as people,

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Speaker 1: as humans, and as activists on all realms. So thanks

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Speaker 1: to those two sites, and of course we've kind of

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Speaker 1: blended our own sage advice. I'm in my mid forties now,

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Speaker 1: any I think I can give you advice now right Whether

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Speaker 1: you should take them, I don't know, but I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: give you that advice anyway. Here we go, so one

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Speaker 1: support other women and connect and create a good community.

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Speaker 1: I think that's so important, especially right now, to remember

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Speaker 1: that you're not alone, because it can feel isolating. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of things happening. Avian flu. Annie. You know

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Speaker 1: some things about av and flu, don't you.

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Speaker 2: It's terrible. Don't recommend.

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Speaker 1: Zero zero, do not recommend. Yeah, so that things like

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Speaker 1: that are going around, But with that, we need one

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Speaker 1: another in these really kind of scary times. And I

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Speaker 1: say scary because I feel like I'll wake up to

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Speaker 1: more bad news. We're not so great news sometimes, and

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Speaker 1: maybe it's because we are so connected to the Internet

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Speaker 1: and they see things on an international level, which is

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Speaker 1: really good on one hand, but also really scary on

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Speaker 1: the other. So having good community and being able to

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Speaker 1: support each other is something that is very important, something

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Speaker 1: that you should look into. If you don't have a

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Speaker 1: good community seeking it out, it could be us. We

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Speaker 1: can be your communities. We love you. Support businesses owned

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Speaker 1: by the marginalized peoples and communities. I think that's something

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Speaker 1: that we need to really really focus on, especially in

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Speaker 1: the next years to come. There's a lot of things

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Speaker 1: happening we don't know, financially, tear us whatever, whatnot, all

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Speaker 1: these rumors that are swirling about again with the impending doom,

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Speaker 1: and during that time, we need to support those who

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Speaker 1: are in need. And uh, just as a reminder that

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Speaker 1: the best way to be an activist sometimes it's just

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Speaker 1: using your money in the correct places, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, do research that I'm pointing at myself for

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Speaker 1: that because I need a lot of research because you know,

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Speaker 1: things like we talked about this before, and you all

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Speaker 1: have sent us some great, really great information and sites

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Speaker 1: keep doing that. But like et see when we talked

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Speaker 1: about that that was originally supposed to be for small

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Speaker 1: business owners and such. It's not always and you have

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Speaker 1: to do some deep dive and research to see who

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Speaker 1: you're buying from because oftentimes they've been infiltrated by corporations. Yeah, anyway,

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Speaker 1: with that, moving on, educate yourself, ask hard questions, have

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Speaker 1: a conversation about some really hard topics, things that make

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Speaker 1: you uncomfortable. Be willing to educate yourself. Google is still there, bias,

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Speaker 1: but you know, find that information. It's good to learn things.

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Speaker 1: Learn and even embrace the word No. You've gotten better

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Speaker 1: in the last two years, last five years, I've gotten better.

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Speaker 1: You've gotten better, I've gotten better.

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Speaker 2: I think this is what I get hung up on though,

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Speaker 2: because I feel like I overcorrected, because my final resolution

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Speaker 2: between before the pandemic of twenty twenty twenty was stop

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Speaker 2: going out so much, basically learn to say no. And

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Speaker 2: then in the pandemic happened, and now it's like I've overcorrected,

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Speaker 2: and I don't want to make anything to go back

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Speaker 2: the other way, because I'm afraid I'll fall back into

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Speaker 2: my bad habits.

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Speaker 1: All right, So for you find your middle ground, there

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Speaker 1: we go. That's goal number two. For you've got this.

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Speaker 1: We've got this. Another thing. Learn from your body and

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Speaker 1: watch for ques on when you need to rest, when

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Speaker 1: you need to recover, and when you need to go

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Speaker 1: to a doctor. Everybody, just say, I feel like a

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Speaker 1: lot of us, not all of us, but a lot

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Speaker 1: of us, especially when it comes to women in marginalist

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Speaker 1: people are constantly told to suck it up, so therefore,

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Speaker 1: or we are afraid we're not going to be believed

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Speaker 1: or any of those things, or because we have so

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Speaker 1: much to do, we ignore signs that our bodies, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you're in pain for a reason, maybe you should go

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Speaker 1: see a professional. Listen to your body. I'm just yelling

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Speaker 1: at people. Take this with love. Take this with love,

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Speaker 1: is it? Take this from your auntie, your sister, your

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Speaker 1: older sister. Here, I got you. Listen this with luck.

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Speaker 1: Celebrate your progress, even as again learning just just learning

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Speaker 1: to listen to your body or learning to slow down.

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Speaker 1: Celebrate that you've become self aware. Hey, that's a huge step.

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Speaker 1: That's a huge step. Also site note, because I'm getting

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Speaker 1: this from TikTok, also so much social media. Just remember,

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Speaker 1: being self aware is noting the positives of yourself just

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Speaker 1: as much as the things that you want to work on.

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Speaker 1: In yourself, like that's me. I'm self aware of some

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Speaker 1: of most of my flaws. Like mainly about my flaws,

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Speaker 1: I don't quite I'm not quite self aware of the

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Speaker 1: good things half the time. Sometimes I can, like I

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Speaker 1: know I can dance, Yeah, come see me dance, But

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm confident enough to actually dance dance,

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Speaker 1: which I might try to do this year. I think

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Speaker 1: that's gonna be the hobby. I'm gonna. I'm gonna try

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Speaker 1: to try to pick up some choreography. I'm gonna do it.

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Speaker 1: I'm mighta do it. Damn it may break something, but

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Speaker 1: that's okay.

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Speaker 2: Moving on.

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Speaker 1: Uh And with some of those resolutions that you could

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Speaker 1: put down for yourselves, any I shouldn't keep calling you

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Speaker 1: on this one, okay, I know. Here are some questions

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Speaker 1: to ask yourselves to jump into those goals. Thanks to

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Speaker 1: intention habit dot com for some of these questions, we

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Speaker 1: kind of rearrange some things. Some of the things are

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Speaker 1: straight from them, so if you want to go check

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Speaker 1: that out. It says these are the questions you should

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Speaker 1: start asking yourself. Some of them, what moments brought you

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Speaker 1: join and fulfillment in the last year, Take on that

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Speaker 1: you know, like on some of the things like I

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Speaker 1: loved THATD did this. Annie, you should be very proud

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Speaker 1: of all of the fiction you've been publishing on our show,

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Speaker 1: as well as on your fanfic which is.

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Speaker 2: Called Oh I have a new development on that and

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Speaker 2: I will talk about it later.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay, let's try and do that anyway, moving on,

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Speaker 1: then another question, how did I manage stress this year

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Speaker 1: and or the chaos? Did you or did you just

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Speaker 1: bypass it? You know? And it's okay, but just realize

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Speaker 1: it just got to catch up to you, whether it's

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Speaker 1: through an anxiety attack, sickness, and or just crashing out.

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Speaker 1: So take care of that, take care of yourself, listen

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Speaker 1: to your body. Did you balance your personal life and

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Speaker 1: professional life this year? If not, maybe put that on

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Speaker 1: your goals Annie. Another question, what do I need to

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Speaker 1: let go of for this year? Some of the things

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Speaker 1: that in the past year are like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: couldn't control that. There's this may be miserable. These are

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Speaker 1: maybe a relationship, you know, it may be a habit.

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Speaker 1: It may be something that you know you can't really

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Speaker 1: do much about, but you can at least let go

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Speaker 1: of feeling anxious about it or try to noting it.

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Speaker 1: That's a good, good place to start. And also, did

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Speaker 1: you survive if you did, go ahead and celebrate. If

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Speaker 1: you're here with us, you did celebrate. You made it.

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Speaker 1: Always celebrate and with all of that, just as a

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Speaker 1: reminder on this kind of lighthearted ish Monday Mini First

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Speaker 1: Monday Mini No First recorded twenty twenty five Monday, Many

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Speaker 1: because I believe you already had one. Remember, even when

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Speaker 1: hard times and difficult times come around, you are not alone.

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Speaker 1: If you feel depleted, unmotivated, or deflated, look to others

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Speaker 1: who are pushing and fighting. That's the point of community.

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Speaker 1: We all take turns to lift one another up. And

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Speaker 1: it's okay to fill down. Sometimes it's okay because you

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Speaker 1: know what we all do, and it sometimes really feels defeating,

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Speaker 1: and that's okay. We're human. It's human. We have to rest.

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Speaker 1: But you aren't in this alone. And the work is

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Speaker 1: always being done. Even if you're not at the forefront

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Speaker 1: of every movement, in every cause, in every social change,

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Speaker 1: the work is being done and there's always a spot

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Speaker 1: for you. There's always a spot to rest. Just look

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Speaker 1: for the the ones who are doing this change. There

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Speaker 1: are those out there. You just have to seek them

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Speaker 1: out and know your work does count. I have to

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Speaker 1: tell myself this constantly. I literally had a case that

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Speaker 1: I had from my social work days where I worked

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Speaker 1: really hard for this kid and I really hoped he

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Speaker 1: would be fine because he had been dealt a really

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Speaker 1: awful hand and I saw it. I saw it firsthand

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Speaker 1: for him, and I just wanted him to have the

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Speaker 1: best and unfortunately, I think his adulthood, he just could

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Speaker 1: not come out of it. Right now, I think he's

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Speaker 1: getting out of it. All that to say is I

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Speaker 1: was felt really defeated in that. I was like, what

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Speaker 1: was the point. But I have to remember the very

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Speaker 1: least I tried to my hardest, and it's okay for

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Speaker 1: whatever reason, if it was just for myself to be

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Speaker 1: able to be motivated in that moment, it still counts. Again, Remember,

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Speaker 1: you are not here to really you're not here to

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Speaker 1: save everyone. It's impossible. That isn't your responsibility. But you

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Speaker 1: are here to better the world the best way you

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Speaker 1: can with your talents and your kindness. It should not

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Speaker 1: take sacrificing your health in order to help. If you

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Speaker 1: aren't able to take care of yourself. You will not

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Speaker 1: be able to help others. Point blank. You will make mistakes.

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Speaker 1: We have made mistakes. We're gonna make mistakes. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: learn from them, and we're gonna grow with you and

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Speaker 1: for ourselves. So all of this is just a reminder

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of hard work to come, but it's

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Speaker 1: a day at a time and we're gonna be okay

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Speaker 1: in the very metaphorical Okay, right, Annie, Yeah, that was

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Speaker 1: not convincing. That was not convincing, But that's okay. You

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Speaker 1: don't have to be. It's gonna we're gonna be in

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Speaker 1: this fight together. Is gonna be a long fight. But

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Speaker 1: we have a community here, and know that we are

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Speaker 1: your community and we love you.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes we do. And so many of you write

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Speaker 2: in about the amazing things you do or people you

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Speaker 2: think we should be looking two in the fight they're doing.

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Speaker 2: So please keep doing that because we love hearing from you,

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Speaker 2: and we love knowing what we should be shouting out

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Speaker 2: and paying attention to. A Happy New year, Happy new year.

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Speaker 2: Let us know what are your thoughts about many goals

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Speaker 2: you've set that you'd like to share. We would love

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Speaker 2: to hear from you. We do appreciate you. I love you. Okay,

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Speaker 2: here we go. I haven't done this in a while.

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Speaker 2: This is a okay, wait, this is a goal I

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Speaker 2: have because we need to update this. Yeah, if you

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Speaker 2: would like to email us, you can. You can email

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Speaker 2: us at Stephanie and mom Stuff at IHEARTMNEU dot com

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Speaker 2: or Hello at stuff onever told you dot com, which

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Speaker 2: is easier to remember, so let us know if you

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Speaker 2: have any issues with it. But it should be fine,

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Speaker 2: should work. I've tested it a couple of times.

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Speaker 1: Ok, Okay.

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Speaker 2: You can find us on social media where you're not

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Speaker 2: very active on there, but you can find us on

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Speaker 2: blue Sky at mom Stuff podcast, and you can find

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Speaker 2: us on Instagram and TikTok at Steffane Never told you.

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Speaker 2: We're also on YouTube. We have a tea public store,

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Speaker 2: and we have a book you can get wherever you

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Speaker 2: get your books. Thanks Zoways too, our super producer Christina,

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Speaker 2: our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey. Thank you

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Speaker 2: and thanks to you for listening stuff Will Never told

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Speaker 2: you this book. Shuld i Heart Radio for more podcast

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Speaker 2: on my Heart Radio. You can check out the heart

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Speaker 2: Radio app Apple Podcasts, or if you listen to your

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Speaker 2: favorite shows

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Speaker 1: Y