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Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's Andre Gunning. A few weeks ago, we

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Speaker 1: put a call out for your listener essays. We wanted

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Speaker 1: to hear from you about resilience after a devastating betrayal,

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Speaker 1: and we received so many incredible essays missions. For this episode,

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Speaker 1: we're going to feature the second of two essays that

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Speaker 1: really moved me. It's written and read by a listener

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Speaker 1: named Molly.

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Speaker 2: The willow tree bends, but it does not break.

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Speaker 3: It weathers storms by swaying with the wind, its roots

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Speaker 3: gripping the earth with quiet determination. I didn't know I

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Speaker 3: had that kind of strength until the night I left,

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Speaker 3: with my seven and a half month old baby in

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Speaker 3: my arms and a carry on suitcase packed for a

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Speaker 3: nine day trip. I thought I'd be gone for a

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Speaker 3: short while, but life had other plans. Then again, when

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Speaker 3: I got married, I didn't think i'd have to flee

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Speaker 3: from him in fear for my safety and that of

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Speaker 3: my child. Over the next year, I would cross eight states,

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Speaker 3: learning to bend, adapt, and survive with nothing but determination.

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Speaker 2: Hope, and my baby. The breaking point the night I

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Speaker 2: knew I had to leave.

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Speaker 3: The conflict started almost immediately after saying I do before marriage,

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Speaker 3: I had noticed differences in how we handled stress, how

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Speaker 3: quickly he became worked up, But I convinced myself it

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Speaker 3: was manageable. Then, within months of being married, he became

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Speaker 3: someone else. The man who had once written me cards

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Speaker 3: each month and planned thoughtful dates now picked fights over

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Speaker 3: the smallest things.

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Speaker 2: How I ate my apples, whether I let.

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Speaker 3: My coffee get cold, Things that shouldn't have mattered to anyone,

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Speaker 3: but somehow mattered enough to him to start an argument.

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Speaker 3: I was exhausted, constantly trying to recapture the person I

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Speaker 3: had married when I got pregnant. The shift was undeniable.

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Speaker 3: The first time he left bruises on my arms, it

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Speaker 3: was because I wouldn't sit on the couch when ordered to,

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Speaker 3: in a voice that sent chills down my spine. It

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Speaker 3: wasn't a request, it was a demand, and when I refused,

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Speaker 3: his grip tightened. That was the first time, but it

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Speaker 3: wasn't the last. The final night was the worst of

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Speaker 3: my life. I wasn't allowed to sleep. He berated me

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Speaker 3: for hours, his voice drilling into my skull, his words

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Speaker 3: cutting deeper than the bruises. He left behind, Bruises on

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Speaker 3: my arms, my legs, knuckle prints on my rib cage,

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Speaker 3: a giant bruise across my jaw. I didn't realize you

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Speaker 3: could even bruise from repeated slaps across the face. I

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Speaker 3: don't remember how many times he hit me, but I

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Speaker 3: do remember the moment that changed everything. He had been

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Speaker 3: holding our baby when he put her down just so he.

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Speaker 2: Could slap me. I watched helpless as she fell off

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Speaker 2: the bed. That was it.

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Speaker 3: That was the moment I knew there was no more trying,

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Speaker 3: no more hoping he would change.

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Speaker 2: The only thing that mattered now was getting.

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Speaker 3: Out Storm one California, carrying the weight.

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Speaker 2: California was supposed to a temporary stop. I worked forty

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Speaker 2: hour weeks.

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Speaker 3: With my baby strapped to my chest, sharing a room

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Speaker 3: with my sister, her two dogs, and the whirlwind of

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Speaker 3: uncertainty that had become my life. The stress of filing

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Speaker 3: for divorce and obtaining a restraining order was relentless, but

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Speaker 3: somehow we still found moments of joy. We laughed, We played,

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Speaker 3: We made memories that softened the sharp edges of my reality.

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Speaker 3: Adaptation wasn't a choice, it was survival. The wounds were fresh,

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Speaker 3: but laughter made me remember who I was before. Roots

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Speaker 3: that travel that tree tattoo. In the midst of all

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Speaker 3: the moving from state to state, carrying only what I

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Speaker 3: could manage, I felt completely unanchored. Safety meant staying in motion,

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Speaker 3: never lingering too long in one place, never feeling truly settled.

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Speaker 3: The instability weighed on me, but I clung to one truth.

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Speaker 3: Even if I wasn't planted, my roots still went with me.

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Speaker 3: That's why during my time in Callifornia, I got the

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Speaker 3: tree tattoo, a tree with strong roots but at the

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Speaker 3: same time empty barren leaves. It was a reminder that

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Speaker 3: no matter where I had to go, I wasn't lost.

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Speaker 3: I carried my strength, my history, and my identity within me,

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Speaker 3: even when everything around me felt uncertain. Another step toward wholeness.

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Speaker 3: Storm two Texas the in between. In Texas, I lived

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Speaker 3: in three different places, the last being with a family

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Speaker 3: I'd never met before we moved in. I was able

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Speaker 3: to continue working remotely and feel a bit of freedom,

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Speaker 3: to fill our days with park visits, time with my

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Speaker 3: friends who lived in the area, and began to think

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Speaker 3: and maybe even dream a little about the future. The

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Speaker 3: divorce was final in June. As I hung up the

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Speaker 3: film with my lawyer, I wiped my tears and high

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Speaker 3: fived the baby in the high chair and said, we've

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Speaker 3: got this, girly. We're going to be okay, better than okay.

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Speaker 3: I had begun counselor and went twice a week in Texas,

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Speaker 3: learning what had happened to me, figuring out red flags

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Speaker 3: I missed, discovering myself again. Storm three, Mississippi an unplanned gift.

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Speaker 3: Texas had been my plan as I just wanted to

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Speaker 3: stay put for a little while, but when my housing

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Speaker 3: fell through and I couldn't yet afford rent, Mississippi became

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Speaker 3: my unexpected refuge. What felt like another setback turned out

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Speaker 3: to be exactly where I needed to be. My father

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Speaker 3: had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and being there

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Speaker 3: meant I could help care for him, cook for my grandmother,

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Speaker 3: and have a stable place with my baby. But the

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Speaker 3: greatest gift was the time spent with my grandma. More importantly,

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Speaker 3: she and my baby got to know each other, not

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Speaker 3: just in passing visits, but in the quiet, everyday moments

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Speaker 3: that make.

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Speaker 2: Up a life.

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Speaker 3: We went to library story time together, made meals side

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Speaker 3: by side, and at night, after the baby was asleep,

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Speaker 3: we shared bowls of coffee, ice cream, talking in the

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Speaker 3: kind of unhurried way that only happens when you live

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Speaker 3: under the same roof. For two months, I had the

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Speaker 3: privilege of knowing her not just as my grandmother, but

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Speaker 3: as a woman, and she got to love my daughter

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Speaker 3: in that same way. Mississippi was never part of my plan,

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Speaker 3: but it became a balm for my heart, an unexpected

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Speaker 3: pause where I could catch my breath and be surrounded

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Speaker 3: by love. Storm four Indiana, My hometown was a wonderful

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Speaker 3: place to grow up, but I never imagined living there

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Speaker 3: as an adult. Life is funny that way. For eight months,

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Speaker 3: we shared a two bedroom apartment with my mom, planning

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Speaker 3: our next steps, maybe even a place to stay for good.

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Speaker 3: The three of us became a team, and my mother

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Speaker 3: I finally found the space to thrive in motherhood. He

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Speaker 3: had made that impossible, but she had always modeled love

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Speaker 3: and support. Now, for the first time, I had the

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Speaker 3: chance to parent with someone not alone.

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Speaker 2: I found a support group to attend each Wednesday.

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Speaker 3: There, I found perspective and growth, and started to realize

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Speaker 3: how much stronger I was than when I first went

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Speaker 3: to counseling, fresh from the abuse, numb and damaged by

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Speaker 3: all that I'd experienced, I was starting to trust myself again.

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Speaker 3: I started to believe people were still good and loving

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Speaker 3: and kind in the world. I remembered I was loved

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Speaker 3: just as I was, and that I was enough just

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Speaker 3: for being me. In Indiana, I was able to even

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Speaker 3: participate in a fundraising event for the local women's shelter,

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Speaker 3: telling my story before a five k voicing for the

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Speaker 3: first time that going through abuse doesn't make you weak,

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Speaker 3: and that healing from abuse is true strength. The end

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Speaker 3: of the bend North Carolina. North Carolina became more than

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Speaker 3: just another stop. It became home. After years of bending

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Speaker 3: with the storms, I had finally found solid ground.

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Speaker 2: To mark the journey.

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Speaker 3: I went to a new tattoo artist to complete what

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Speaker 3: had begun in California. The tree on my skin, once bare,

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Speaker 3: now had green leaves.

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Speaker 2: As the ink.

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Speaker 3: Settled, I felt the weight of the past few years,

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Speaker 3: the fear, the exhaustion, the moments I thought I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: make it, But I had. I had not only survived,

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Speaker 3: I had grown, and life kept growing with me. In time,

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Speaker 3: I fell in love again, love that was steady and safe.

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Speaker 2: I built a new.

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Speaker 3: Life, a family, and welcomed another baby, proof that healing

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Speaker 3: isn't just moving on from pain, but making room for joy.

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Speaker 3: The fear never fully disappeared. He tried to find us

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Speaker 3: while I was pregnant with my second daughter, but he

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Speaker 3: did not win. We are safe, we are free, we

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Speaker 3: are strong. Now I give back, offering the kind of

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Speaker 3: support I once needed. I share my story so others

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Speaker 3: know they aren't alone. Healing is not a straight path.

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Speaker 3: We never returned to who we were before the storm.

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Speaker 3: But like the willow, we can root ourselves in resilience,

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Speaker 3: bend without breaking, and when the time is right, grow

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Speaker 3: fresh leaves once.

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Speaker 2: More when we come back.

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Speaker 1: Our producer talks with Molly about her writing process, and

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Speaker 1: stay tuned until the end of the episode when we'll

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Speaker 1: be sharing our next listener sa theme. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: hand it over to our producer Mo, who talked with

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Speaker 1: Molly for this episode.

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Speaker 4: Can you just tell me a little bit about what

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Speaker 4: the process of writing this was like for you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I have had a lot of distance

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Speaker 3: and time for healing, and so I think looking back

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Speaker 3: and seeing the journey was important to me and trying

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Speaker 3: to weave that through just because anyone that leaves abuse.

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Speaker 3: It can be chaotic, especially at first. There's just a

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Speaker 3: lot of upheaval, and people think leaving is it, that's it,

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Speaker 3: and it's just the start. It's the first step, and

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Speaker 3: there's so much that comes after that. So I just

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Speaker 3: really wanted to emphasize and hopefully have people relate to

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Speaker 3: just that journey that is leaving and how much that

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Speaker 3: becomes its own story.

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Speaker 2: Really, I want to talk.

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Speaker 4: About the headings you'd used and why you chose to

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Speaker 4: title some of these headings. You know, Storm one, Storm two,

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Speaker 4: What does storm mean? And why did you title the

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Speaker 4: headings that way?

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Speaker 2: There was just so much upheaval.

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Speaker 3: I mean when I left, legitimately, I had a trip planned.

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Speaker 3: It's a yearly trip I do with my college girlfriends,

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Speaker 3: and he had been threatening me and saying I wasn't

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Speaker 3: going to go. He had hid my suitcase, he'd taken

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Speaker 3: my phone. I didn't know if I was going. So

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Speaker 3: that night before, when I literally slept forty five minutes

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Speaker 3: and I had a three hour drive to the airport

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Speaker 3: and he was going to drive us, I didn't know

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Speaker 3: if it was happening. So he woke me up, I

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Speaker 3: took a shower, we drove to the airport. I was

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Speaker 3: in shock, honestly, that we were leaving. I had a

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Speaker 3: nine day carry on, like I had packed for me

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Speaker 3: and a baby for nine days going to Florida.

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Speaker 2: This was not me leaving.

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Speaker 3: This was not me packing up my life, taking any

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Speaker 3: documents I needed, you know, anything important. It was just

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Speaker 3: some clothes for nine days. And we never went back,

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Speaker 3: not one time. So I guess the storm was really

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Speaker 3: just each step was unplanned. I went to la I

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Speaker 3: was supposed to be there for a birthday, for my

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Speaker 3: daughter's first birthday. Stayed for two months, and it just

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Speaker 3: kept being things like that where I had a plan

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Speaker 3: and then everything else happened around me. You know, I

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Speaker 3: had a place to live in Texas that fell through.

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Speaker 3: My dad got diagnosed with cancer. That seemed the next

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Speaker 3: logical step. Go be with family and then go back

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Speaker 3: to you're a hometown, figure out next steps. And so

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Speaker 3: each time it was a storm, but storms cannot kind

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Speaker 3: of be peaceful. And ironically now I listen to a

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Speaker 3: thunderstorm to sleep, so it's actually calming to the system.

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Speaker 3: And when I look back, they all had such purpose.

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Speaker 2: How did it.

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Speaker 4: Feel for you putting this down on paper and then

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Speaker 4: reading it out loud.

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Speaker 3: I mean the process was fairly seamless, I would say,

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Speaker 3: just because I've thought of it so often since, and

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Speaker 3: I've you know, I've journaled, and I've done things like that.

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Speaker 3: It's not been obviously in this sort of structure as

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Speaker 3: an essay or anything like that. But I think it's

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Speaker 3: always a little bit therapeutic to take ownership of it.

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Speaker 3: And I kind of describe it to other people as

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Speaker 3: it almost happened to someone else, because I'm now someone else.

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Speaker 3: So when I look back, it's almost it's not disassociation,

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Speaker 3: but it's non emotional as far as like I'm not

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Speaker 3: I'm not emotionally affected by telling it. I'm empowered by

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Speaker 3: telling it because I remember what I've gone through and

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Speaker 3: who I am now, and I don't remember that girl

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Speaker 3: that left because she was just such a different version

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Speaker 3: of me. But I was not fully destroyed. And that's

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Speaker 3: something I hope people remember, is even if it's you know,

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Speaker 3: day one, you just left yesterday, you will become something else,

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Speaker 3: I promise.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening, and thank you to

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Speaker 1: the incredible listeners who wrote in to share their essays

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Speaker 1: on the theme of resilience. We were so moved by

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Speaker 1: your submissions that were bringing you more of these listener essays,

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Speaker 1: and our next theme will be the moment everything changed.

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Speaker 1: Set the scene, take us back to that memory. Describe

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Speaker 1: the feelings and thoughts you had in the moment when

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Speaker 1: everything changed for you. The limit is a thousand words.

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Speaker 1: If your story stands out, it might be featured in

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Speaker 1: a bonus episode. Please save your submission as a PDF

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Speaker 1: an email to Betrayalpod at gmail dot com. If you

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Speaker 1: would like to reach out to the Betrayal team or

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Speaker 1: want to tell us your betrayal story, email us at

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Speaker 1: betrayalpod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at gmail

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Speaker 1: dot com.

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Speaker 2: We're grateful for your support.

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Speaker 1: One way to show support is by subscribing to our

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Speaker 1: show on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to rate and

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Speaker 1: review Betrayal. Five star reviews go.

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Speaker 2: A long way. A big thank you to all of

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Speaker 2: our listeners.

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Speaker 1: Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of

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Speaker 1: Glass Entertainment Group and partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show

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Speaker 1: is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason, hosted

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Speaker 1: and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and produced by

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Speaker 1: Monique Leboard, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Associate producers are

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Speaker 1: Kristin Melcuriy and Caitlin Golden. Our iHeart team is Ali

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Speaker 1: Perry and Jessica Krincheck. Audio editing and mixing by mattlve Yo,

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Speaker 1: additional editing support from Tanner Robbins. Betrayal's theme composed by

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Speaker 1: Oliver Bain's music library provided by my Music and.

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Speaker 1: Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

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Speaker 1: your podcasts