1 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Emily and Badi here you are listening to 2 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 1: five Minute Friday on Hurdle My heart right now. I 3 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:35,919 Speaker 1: am heartbroken watching from afar what's going on in Los Angeles, 4 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 1: and I am sending so much love to the West 5 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: Coast knowing that there are so many people I know 6 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: and love that have been impacted by these fires. I 7 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 1: also know that it's the second biggest market for Hurdle, 8 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: and many of you listening to this right now are 9 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 1: located on the West Coast as well, And so I 10 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: want you to know that I'm with you, that I'm 11 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: thinking of you. I feel helpless, but I know that 12 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: there are certain things that I can do, like listing 13 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: resources in the newsletter that went out this morning. If 14 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: you're not yet subscribed to the weekly Hurdle newsletter, you 15 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: can do that by clicking on over to the show notes. 16 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: So yeah, sharing those resources, also resharing things on social 17 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: that I feel like are relevant and helpful as well. 18 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 1: In the newsletter today, I put this post from a 19 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: friend Liz that she shared and it was talking about 20 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,479 Speaker 1: how to show up for someone. Her tips include checking 21 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 1: in frequently, avoid generic advice, don't minimize, offer to help, 22 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:43,520 Speaker 1: practical assistance, provide food, and gather donations. And what I 23 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: want to talk about today is that don't minimize tip 24 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: because I, like many of you, I am sure am 25 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: someone that likes to be an optimist. But it is 26 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 1: so important to feel your feelings, whether we are talking 27 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: about this in real to what is going on in 28 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: California or not. Right, we don't work hard in life. 29 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: We don't go through life expecting necessarily to fail or 30 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 1: for things not to go as we had hoped, and 31 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: especially during something that is so unexpected, so unprecedented, it 32 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: is natural to feel so many ways. There can be 33 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 1: so much pressure to ask yourself what's next, to keep 34 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: moving forward. And while yes, I do believe in the 35 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:37,360 Speaker 1: power of picking yourself up and progressing, the feeling is 36 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: just as important. Because when we don't stop to process, 37 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 1: when we don't stop to ask ourselves how am I doing? Really, 38 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:51,239 Speaker 1: that's when things get sticky, right, That's when you neglect 39 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 1: what needs to be navigated, what needs to be processed, 40 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:59,720 Speaker 1: what needs to be felt so that you can move 41 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 1: forward word in the right way at the right time. 42 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: Feel your feelings. Allow your loved ones to feel their 43 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 1: feelings too, regardless of your opinion on someone's circumstance saying 44 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,639 Speaker 1: something and going back to the reference of the fires, 45 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 1: at least no one was hurt or everything happens for 46 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: a reason. These aren't helpful things to hear after a 47 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,359 Speaker 1: traumatic experience, not right in the aftermath. Right. There might 48 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: be a period of time down the road when we 49 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:34,239 Speaker 1: can have those conversations. But again, whether it is within 50 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: this example or in other areas of life, trauma happens 51 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,360 Speaker 1: and you need to process it. You need to give 52 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: that permission, either to yourself or to others. It's okay 53 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: not to be okay. And that's what I feel strongly 54 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: about speaking on this week. Again, those resources are in 55 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,240 Speaker 1: the Weekly Hurdle. I hope that you're subscribed. I hope 56 00:03:56,240 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: that it helps a little bit. At least I see 57 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: you and I feel for you, and again, my heart 58 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: is with you wherever you are, whatever you're going through, 59 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: you don't have to be alone. Rather than a prompt 60 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: this week, I'm going to jump directly into a listener question. Hey, Emily, 61 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,799 Speaker 1: I'm Praya. I've been a longtime listener of your podcast 62 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: and I love your show. Your five minute Fridays are 63 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 1: my favorite. I love how you keep it real and 64 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: I love following along with your journey on your Instagram stories. 65 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: My question for you is I struggle with consistently showing 66 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 1: up for myself. I know you say where there's a why, 67 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 1: there's a way, and I love it, but I just 68 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 1: can't seem to stick with my why. Does that make sense? 69 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 1: Can you help me with staying consistent and remembering my why? 70 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: Is there anything you can do regularly to stay in 71 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:44,359 Speaker 1: touch with your why? I know you're really consistent with 72 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 1: your journaling, but still, anything you can tell me for inspiration, 73 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 1: I'd really appreciate it all. My love, Praya, This is 74 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: a good one, and I understand right because sometimes we 75 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 1: can have a strong why, but we just can't put 76 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,880 Speaker 1: it all together. I have certain been there myself, and 77 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,479 Speaker 1: in the moments where my why doesn't feel like enough 78 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: of an anchor for me, I will say that that's 79 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: when you call in your support system. That's when you 80 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 1: instill other routines to help you get to where you 81 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 1: want to go. So for the support system, maybe it's 82 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: reaching out to a friend and having an accountability partner. 83 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 1: And I don't just mean that in the sense of 84 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 1: having an accountability partner for something like moving your body. 85 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 1: But if there's something that is a priority for you, 86 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: like you really want to get a promotion at work 87 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: this year, it starts with outlining the steps that that 88 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:36,720 Speaker 1: may require, and then talking to someone about this process, 89 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: about your why. Sometimes it's not just enough to write 90 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:44,039 Speaker 1: it down. It's vocalizing what's important to you and putting 91 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: it into the universe. And the great thing about leaning 92 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: into a support system is that then you'll have someone 93 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 1: to help you again stay accountable. You can ask of 94 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: this person, Hi, it would mean so much to me 95 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:59,280 Speaker 1: if in a month or two months, depending on your 96 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: goal and your time line, if you can make sure 97 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 1: to check back in with me on this, and then 98 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: both of you put that check in on your calendar 99 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 1: like it's an important work meeting. Beyond this, I would 100 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: recommend perhaps instilling some sort of a reward system into practice. Right, So, 101 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 1: if there's something that you're going after and you find 102 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:23,119 Speaker 1: yourself now and then falling off the bandwagon, you can 103 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: have small things that entice you to stick with it. 104 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: Maybe that's depositing fifty dollars for every week you stick 105 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: to Plan X into your bank account, and so that 106 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 1: by the end of the month, you have two hundred 107 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,720 Speaker 1: dollars and that goes into your personal version of what 108 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: I like to call my italy fun. Or perhaps you've 109 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 1: sworn off buying coffee all year because you want to 110 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: be better about budgeting, and you allow yourself on Fridays 111 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:55,120 Speaker 1: to treat yourself to that one purchase out knowing that 112 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,360 Speaker 1: you are on your way to your big goals. Both 113 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:02,840 Speaker 1: the accountability buddy and the celebrating the small milestones along 114 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 1: the way rewarding yourself. Both of these things are going 115 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 1: to help you in the long haul, I promise you, 116 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: when you're having difficulty really zeroing in constantly on that why. 117 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: The last thing I will say here is make sure 118 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: that the goals that you are setting, even if you 119 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: do have a strong why, that they are in line 120 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: with your values. Because you want to be in pursuit 121 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: of the things that are in alignment with who it 122 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 1: is at your core. And if you don't really have 123 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: a vested personal interest in something like your finances, then 124 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: it's going to be challenging to go after a finance goal. 125 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that it's impossible, but I am just 126 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,080 Speaker 1: saying that's when you know you really need to pull 127 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: out all of the stops. That's when things like a 128 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: support system and small rewards along the way are going 129 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: to work in tandem with your why to get you 130 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 1: to where you want to be. I hope this helps. 131 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: I'm over on Instagram at Emily a Body and also 132 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: at Hurdle Podcast Another hurdle conquered, thinking of you all. 133 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.