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Speaker 1: sheets ever. These really are the best sheets ever. What

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Speaker 1: would you talk about on your on your podcasts represents? Look,

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Speaker 1: I don't get it. I know I'm in a room

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Speaker 1: right now surrounded by guys, so you may not get this,

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Speaker 1: but I don't get it. We got Brody and Tea

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Speaker 1: and Garrett and Nate and Scary. How do you not

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Speaker 1: know you smell like that when you go to the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: In the woman's bathroom, there is like when you walk

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Speaker 1: in sometimes and it's not like you went and did

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Speaker 1: your business. It's just the smell where you haven't cleaned

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Speaker 1: your areas. And I just don't understand how you don't

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Speaker 1: know that's going on. Do you have this problem in

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Speaker 1: the men's room. No, No, we don't have women smell

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Speaker 1: in the men's room. But do you have like a

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Speaker 1: problem where you walk in and it's not the business smell,

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Speaker 1: it's oh my gosh, that person hasn't showered in a month. Yes, exactly,

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Speaker 1: like crotch smell smell not in the men's room, because

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Speaker 1: it smells like poop so much. Yeah, there's one, And honestly,

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Speaker 1: the smell of urine is much stronger in men's room.

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Speaker 1: I can't figure out why guys can't hit the urine

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Speaker 1: right big enough target. I think it's the shake. It's

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Speaker 1: the shake at the end that really does it, that

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Speaker 1: creates the puddle on the floor. Now, when you're saying

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Speaker 1: you're getting up in the middle of the night, right

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Speaker 1: and you go to the bathroom and you do the shake,

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Speaker 1: is you are you more likely to miss them because

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Speaker 1: your half for sleep? The lights on the Yeah, do

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Speaker 1: you put the lights on? Saying if I'm in the dark,

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Speaker 1: then the shake is all all hands on deck. It's everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Plus you also have the y sometimes what's they splitter?

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Speaker 1: Every every guy? Everybody hearing all the guys. I've had

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Speaker 1: the before too. How is that you showed Danielle up

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Speaker 1: on the wall. When it comes out and comes out

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Speaker 1: like this, it goes out in two streams. It comes

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Speaker 1: like a V the toilet on both sides. I thought

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Speaker 1: it goes right. I thought you were talking about when

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Speaker 1: the guys put there. Okay, so when you v and

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Speaker 1: the left streams going in but the right one doesn't,

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Speaker 1: then you angle to the left and the right ones

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Speaker 1: going in, but the left one does I always okay, So, Danielle,

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Speaker 1: this is what happens when it is the most puzzled. Occasionally,

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Speaker 1: for whatever reason, the whole it's not it's not wide open,

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Speaker 1: so there's two streams coming out, like the middle could

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Speaker 1: be closed off a little bit. I don't know how this.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how this one in the same way,

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Speaker 1: but I try and power through it, like exactly what

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Speaker 1: guy stream. You try and push harder to get one stream.

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Speaker 1: But as a guy, you'll have the two streams, and

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Speaker 1: I always favor the stronger stream, because if you're going

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Speaker 1: to get dribbled on the floor, you don't want it

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Speaker 1: to be the powers. Okay, but here's the other problem.

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Speaker 1: Most of the time it's left right, but some of

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Speaker 1: the times sometimes it's top bottom, and when it's up

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Speaker 1: and down, the top hits the back of the toilet

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Speaker 1: and the bottom goes in, or the top goes in

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Speaker 1: and the bottom goes on your pants. Yeah, but your shirt,

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Speaker 1: your shirt tails. I feel like girls girls have that

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Speaker 1: problem too when we squat. Sometimes when you squat, it

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Speaker 1: like goes sometimes far right and the stream goes far left,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just like, just don't get on my pants,

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Speaker 1: and the guys are trying to pee through a car

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Speaker 1: wash down there. So I don't have any of these

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Speaker 1: problems because I I gotta tell you, I sit down

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Speaker 1: to pee. I don't stand ques question when you sit

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Speaker 1: down to go number two. My little son tends to

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Speaker 1: do this, you know, he puts his hand on his

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Speaker 1: stuff to push it down so that when he goes

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Speaker 1: it doesn't spray al over the room. Of course I

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Speaker 1: don't know him that a boy, Well, you just leave

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Speaker 1: it there if it's if it's at the wrong angle,

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Speaker 1: it's going to go into the tub. You sit down,

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Speaker 1: and I am so. A long time ago, I had

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Speaker 1: a friend and he no, no, he told me that

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Speaker 1: he sits down to p and I thought that was

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Speaker 1: very unusual, and then I said, so then I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: start trying it. So I started trying it, and then

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Speaker 1: I liked it so much that it's become just common

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Speaker 1: to me. So I cannot even now because I sit

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Speaker 1: down so like regularly to p that I almost cannot

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Speaker 1: stand to p at all. Like I can't do it.

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Speaker 1: So if I stand, I can't go. I have a

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Speaker 1: friend who makes her entire male family sit down because

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Speaker 1: she's way. She's so tired of cleaning up the pa

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Speaker 1: everywhere that she tells them, all three of you need

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Speaker 1: to sit down, and they listened to her. They all

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Speaker 1: sit down. My family would tell me to go scrap.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't do that. That's not a man. Man stands.

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Speaker 1: A man man stands. I don't. I have sat down

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Speaker 1: to p before, but I just don't prefer it. It

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Speaker 1: just takes more, and plus you get too comfortable. Why

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Speaker 1: do you want to have to undo your pants sit

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Speaker 1: on a dirty toilet, I'll have to cover with the

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Speaker 1: toilet extra step of God gave us the right to

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Speaker 1: stand up and shoot from a distance. I'm doing it.

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Speaker 1: I think it's kind of unfair because women go wait

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Speaker 1: a minute, women go through pregnancy, giving birth, periods, all

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Speaker 1: this crap, menopause. At least they could have given us

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Speaker 1: a penis so that we could have pe easier. Why

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Speaker 1: couldn't I have something that Danielle towards multiple orgasms and

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Speaker 1: I you win, speak yourself monthly doesn't count me. So

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Speaker 1: we're talking about bathroom habits. Do you know that great

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Speaker 1: t and I tried to create a book about five

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Speaker 1: years ago. What was it called? He had I forgot

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Speaker 1: what we're gonna call it. He had different methods of

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Speaker 1: sitting on the toilet, so he had me come in

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Speaker 1: with my camera. No, he did not. There are about

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Speaker 1: twenty five different positions he has created on his own

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Speaker 1: with full description, and we took pictures of him on

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Speaker 1: the toilet in each position. Really it was ways of

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Speaker 1: getting it out better. So there's all different ways. Like

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Speaker 1: one was called the pump from the pump you you're

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Speaker 1: you're on the the one you're you're on the on

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Speaker 1: the toilet and you you're pumping your leg as you

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Speaker 1: go so that moves the muscle so that it pumps out.

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Speaker 1: Then then there was there was one called you know,

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Speaker 1: the stretch you sit back, and so we have we

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Speaker 1: have I thought we got rid of. Did you actually

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Speaker 1: dropped trout? Yes, in the bathroom. Here you don't see

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Speaker 1: his penis as just demonstrating. Because we would get on

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Speaker 1: these topics of like you know, not on the radio,

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Speaker 1: but like off air, like you know, I'm so good,

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Speaker 1: Like I did the twist. There's one like this where

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Speaker 1: you hold it push, you know, you twist your body.

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Speaker 1: So I started saying there's got to be. It's actually

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Speaker 1: because here's the thing. When you go, everybody just thinks

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Speaker 1: you just sit and go. But to be honest, you

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Speaker 1: have to be very one with your body. You have

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Speaker 1: to be able to configure your body in different different

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Speaker 1: you know, different appreciations. You have to get it out better.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I sit. I don't. I

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Speaker 1: just have one motion. Take it from a guy that

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Speaker 1: makes a living off of doing this every day, that

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Speaker 1: you're you're You're intestines aren't just straight. They're all in there,

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Speaker 1: twine there like in S S S. So you have

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Speaker 1: to get them out. So you have to figure out

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Speaker 1: different ways, like if you do the reach like a

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Speaker 1: carnival game. If I reach over to the right, it'll

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Speaker 1: go like someone better, won't absolutely than if I reach

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Speaker 1: over to the left, I have a problem getting it

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Speaker 1: to come out. Global phenomenon that in normal for like

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Speaker 1: three months. Yeah, it's right, I don't. I can't just

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Speaker 1: go every two days. I have to go regularly. I

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Speaker 1: need to go in the morning, a morning again, afternoon,

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Speaker 1: afternoon again, at nine on the floor. I had to

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Speaker 1: go on the floor and all I take me relax

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Speaker 1: in the morning and mir relax at night. Plus they

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Speaker 1: take two fiber pills. And you know, and you're going

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Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, I put my mirror Lax in

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Speaker 1: my coffee and a mirror Lax in a bottle of water.

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Speaker 1: So great. And you were just talking about the marathon

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Speaker 1: of men that last night here, that filed through here.

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Speaker 1: Just they do is take dumps. Last night I took,

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Speaker 1: I took. I took my relax, my whole shot of it.

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Speaker 1: I put it in the glass of rose last night.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, wait, you take that and then go

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Speaker 1: to sleep. I take it with dinner, So you eat

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Speaker 1: dinner and I take my mir relax and I throw

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Speaker 1: it right in whatever I'm drinking, whatever I'm eating with.

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Speaker 1: You know, is a lucky woman. She takes lax too.

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Speaker 1: She loves it. For a woman. She said that she

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Speaker 1: only goes once every three or four days. And she

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Speaker 1: hated off question question, what you would have to go NonStop? Well, no,

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Speaker 1: it depends how much you need it. So I take

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Speaker 1: it twice. She only takes it once a day. She

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Speaker 1: said it has changed her life. She loves it. Every

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Speaker 1: morning now with our coffee, she takes to me relax

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Speaker 1: and it's just oh my gosh, it's a plunger. She

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Speaker 1: can't believe how much she's like releasing now. She's the

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Speaker 1: always store it up to back up. You only go

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Speaker 1: like every three days days. I got thyroid issues, not

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Speaker 1: helping everything. But women, women are not as regular as

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Speaker 1: sound every day something. If I didn't go every day,

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Speaker 1: I'd have no privacy in my life. That's the best

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Speaker 1: time and day, whether I have to go or not,

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Speaker 1: I can pretend I'm going. He's gone to bed. Jake

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Speaker 1: just walked in. I just Jake to come in because

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Speaker 1: he heard about you want to interesting question Nick? Yesterday,

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Speaker 1: I'm in the bathroom. I'm peeing at the ornald like

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Speaker 1: a man does. Yes, and Jake walks in. I go, hey, Jake,

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Speaker 1: Because I turn around, I see who's coming in. And

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Speaker 1: he walks right into the stall. I hear undo his

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Speaker 1: belt buckle everything. I go, Should I leave you dropping

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Speaker 1: a deuce? He goes, not just being Are you sitting down?

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Speaker 1: He goes, no, man, I can't pay Funny, but I

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Speaker 1: got to go on the stall. I can't do it.

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Speaker 1: I have a shy bladder. Also, why is that no

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Speaker 1: one's looking? Brodie likes to talk when he's being I'm

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Speaker 1: not trying to have a conversation with you. While I'm trying,

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Speaker 1: I agree with Okay, I try to talk over the

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Speaker 1: peace dream sound in the back of the urinal. Do

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Speaker 1: you have a while I'm listening to you, peeps, I

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Speaker 1: don't want you to like so well we go to

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Speaker 1: dinner tonight. I don't have asation. I don't want to scared.

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Speaker 1: I talk all the time, and you don't have a

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Speaker 1: shy black I don't want to hear Jake. Your bladder

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Speaker 1: is really like if I go to a bar and

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Speaker 1: there's most of the time in bars there's none of

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Speaker 1: the dividers, you know, so it's like urinal next year

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Speaker 1: on the next year and all I can't pee like that,

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Speaker 1: Oh I just can't. I don't know. Won't let me pee? Yeah, Like,

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Speaker 1: no matter how hard I focus, it's just like, Nope,

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Speaker 1: you're not gonna be if you drink like like, see

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Speaker 1: how big this coffee is. If you drink this entire coffee,

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Speaker 1: you're not going to have to be and just it's

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Speaker 1: not just gonna come out. No, I really have to pee,

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Speaker 1: but I won't be able to. Here's got to pee alone.

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Speaker 1: I don't mind peeing in front of other people. But

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Speaker 1: when you pee as a guy, I don't know. If

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Speaker 1: this happens as a woman, you kind of you kind

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Speaker 1: of yeah, you push them out every time it happens.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm embarrassed about, because while you're standing at

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Speaker 1: the urinal, you're peeing, but the you gotta live one

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Speaker 1: rip then I'll hold back, and then holding that in

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Speaker 1: will make me not pe so just fly. I have

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Speaker 1: to wait for whoever's in there. I'm like, you do

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Speaker 1: the flush, and fought you do. Sometimes we're a little too. Recently,

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Speaker 1: when i've been farting, I've been actually doing hershey spirts

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Speaker 1: in my underwater. He told us, we can't talk about this.

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Speaker 1: It's been happening, more happening. I changed back us. Have

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Speaker 1: you ever peed at the urnal and you feel a

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Speaker 1: fart coming on right, but you finished peeing first. Then

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Speaker 1: you stand there pretend like you're still peeing because you

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Speaker 1: don't want to fart. You wait for the person leaves.

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Speaker 1: You fake the pain that seven minutes ago. Okay, oh man,

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Speaker 1: you're like, could you leave now? My problem is having

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Speaker 1: two children. Sometimes when I laugh, a little peek comes out.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't come out at the other end. Alight. I

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Speaker 1: was at a wedding on Saturday, right and no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no, And I'm like, I'm like Jake, where I

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Speaker 1: I need the bathroom to myself. So I was eyeing

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Speaker 1: up the men's room. So I saw I said, all right,

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Speaker 1: it's time for me to go. So I watched the

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Speaker 1: last guy go in and I was waiting for him

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Speaker 1: to come out, and then I saw another guy going.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, damn it, so he's the last guy. So

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Speaker 1: I kept an eyeing the last guy. And then when

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Speaker 1: I when they all came out, I waiteded like about

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Speaker 1: a minute and a half, and I said to my wife,

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Speaker 1: I go, hey, let's just gonna go to the restroom quick.

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Speaker 1: But I knew that nobody would be in there at

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Speaker 1: the time. So I went in there. But I was

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Speaker 1: a little nervous, so I was like, quickly, oh great,

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Speaker 1: the guy quickly, I'm going. But now I wanted to

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Speaker 1: go when I was nervous, and I'm like, now I

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Speaker 1: have to think of brown. I have to think of

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Speaker 1: brown brown. I think of ups and brown. Like some reason,

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Speaker 1: the brown Newps trunk makes me go. I don't know

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Speaker 1: why I think of the Brown truns. What has Brown

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Speaker 1: done for you? It made me going to the bath

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Speaker 1: and it releases and it like it just lets me go.

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Speaker 1: Why do you think they were shorts on those great

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Speaker 1: He's the guy that sits in the stall if he

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Speaker 1: you're in a public bathroom, and he will stop doing

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Speaker 1: whatever he's doing, lift his feet up to make sure

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Speaker 1: no one sees him in that base somebody's shoes, then

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Speaker 1: you know who they are. I don't. We have somebody

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Speaker 1: as Pope shoes. It's it's funny what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: Undoing your pants. Yeah, I was here at work late

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Speaker 1: one day and I really all of a sudden hit me.

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Speaker 1: I had to go. So I was going to the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: You guys know the long hallway leading to the men's room. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize it until I was walking through the door.

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Speaker 1: I had undone my pants. I was going and I

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Speaker 1: had my pants halfway off as I was in the

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Speaker 1: hallway because I had that bad if somebody had walked out,

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Speaker 1: and would bet you're lucky we're next to the classic

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Speaker 1: rock station. Knows guys don't care if your pants are down.

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Speaker 1: But I would say that the urinal in the men's

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Speaker 1: bathroom right there that there needs to be a bigger

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Speaker 1: wall because being there, I have used it before. And

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Speaker 1: guys from Q and O four are doing what Nate

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Speaker 1: did where their pants are done, thinking no one's in

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Speaker 1: that urinal. And I'm right behind a guy that is

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Speaker 1: pretty much naked because he thinks no one's at that urinal.

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Speaker 1: There needs to be a larger wall or make a

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Speaker 1: stall type door there. There's one bathroom here that's a

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Speaker 1: solo bathroom. It's the only bathroom on this Greg t

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Speaker 1: and I are always fighting for the bathroom. He sees

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Speaker 1: me walking to it, he gets so angry, and you

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Speaker 1: know when he's in it because you hear the sink

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Speaker 1: and take half an hour. But I told you, are

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Speaker 1: you putting the sink on? Because and the thing is,

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Speaker 1: I'm in there for half an hour. Jake's right, but

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Speaker 1: that is my quality time. Yeah right, you're taking away

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Speaker 1: from my time to go to the bathroom. You're taking

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Speaker 1: time secretary about bathroom? Who started it? You're right? The

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Speaker 1: fifteen Minute Morning Show