1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,080 Speaker 1: Buggle up and hold on tight. We got it for 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:06,160 Speaker 1: you here. It is the straw. Very all right, you 3 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: guys get ready. Stevens and I here, so we want 4 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,800 Speaker 1: to hear from the fellas on this one as well. 5 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: Jay Junior the nephew, Oh lord, all right, here we go. Subject. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: My vows are weighing heavy on me. Dear Stephen Shirley, 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: I've been married for sixteen years and my wife and 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: I are headed for a divorce. We're headed for a 9 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:33,600 Speaker 1: divorce six years ago because of her infidelity. She cheated 10 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,720 Speaker 1: on me and admitted it. But shortly after that we 11 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 1: found out that she was really sick, so I decided 12 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 1: to stay with her and help her out because she 13 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: could only work part time because of all her medical 14 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 1: appointment I worked extra hours at a job that I 15 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: really hated, and I paid most of her medical bills. 16 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: After all of that, I found out that she had 17 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: another affair with a new guy at her job. I'm 18 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: not trying to boast, but I get approached by women 19 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: all the time, and I have never cheated on my wife. 20 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,600 Speaker 1: Right after I found out about the second affair, her 21 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: health got worse and she had to stop working altogether. 22 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: So I am stuck because she has no source of 23 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:18,760 Speaker 1: income and she's still on my health insurance. I don't 24 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: want to be with this woman at all, but I 25 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,479 Speaker 1: know what it would look like if I left her. Now. 26 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 1: We have a son and a daughter, and they are 27 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:29,119 Speaker 1: old enough to understand. But if I leave her, they 28 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: are going with me, and that will devastate my wife. 29 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: I have told her repeatedly that I am not happy, 30 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 1: and she refuses to let me go. She thinks I 31 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: should forgive her past affairs and honor my wedding vows 32 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,759 Speaker 1: by taking care of her. As soon as she feels better, 33 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,840 Speaker 1: she might have another affair, and I should not have 34 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: to keep dealing with this. What do you think? Am 35 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: I thinking selfishly for wanting to leave this unfaithful marriage? 36 00:01:55,320 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: Please help? Wow is a lot. This is a lot 37 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: for any human being after sixteen years of marriage. I mean, 38 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 1: I really have to say that you asked the question, 39 00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 1: are you being Are you thinking selfishly for wanting to 40 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 1: leave this unfaithful marriage? No? Absolutely not um, And if 41 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: you are, it's okay in this instance, because look what 42 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 1: this woman has put you through. I would say you're 43 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: a very good You're a kind man. You're a considerate man, 44 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 1: you're a loving man, and you yes, you are honoring 45 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: your vows, you know, And that's the thing. You do 46 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 1: have a decision to make, because you could walk off 47 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,240 Speaker 1: and leave this woman and take your kids. A lot 48 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: of people would think that's what she deserves. But I 49 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: don't think that's what's in your heart. I think you're 50 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: better than that. I really do. After all that she's done. 51 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,120 Speaker 1: And let me let me tell you this, It is 52 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 1: a rare occasion when a man takes a woman back 53 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: and still calls her his wife after she's cheated on him. 54 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: Women do it all the time, or they do it 55 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: a lot and way more than men, But men definitely 56 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:15,360 Speaker 1: don't do this a lot. The problem is your wife 57 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 1: is sick. That's the problem. And the vows do say 58 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: in sickness and in health. But where was this illness 59 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 1: when she was cheating? Well, I don't understand she cheated 60 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 1: and then she you found out she was sick. I mean, 61 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 1: what a mess you're in. I just have to say, 62 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: by the grace of God that you can get through this. 63 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: Your wife will get better and eventually you will be 64 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: able to divorce her and move on to a better life. 65 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: But this is no way to live. You know, you 66 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 1: can still look after your wife and take care of her, 67 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 1: and she could still be on your your health insurance 68 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: while she's going through this illness, but you don't have 69 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: to stay there and take this. And you say your 70 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: children are old enough. I have to give you credit 71 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: for that too, because you're staying with her. You know 72 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,880 Speaker 1: what it looks like. You know, you're the kids want 73 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: to go with you. According to you, this is a mess. 74 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: Your wife is all the way wrong. I'm sorry that 75 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: she's ill, I really am, but I do think God 76 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,280 Speaker 1: that she has health insurance and she has a good 77 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: man like you. But you don't have to stay there 78 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,040 Speaker 1: and deal with this. There's a way you can do 79 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,480 Speaker 1: this and still take care of her. She's still in 80 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 1: your house and your health insurance. Say yeah, this is 81 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 1: a mess, this is this is horrible, This is really bad. Yeah. 82 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 1: He doesn't say she's near death. He just says she's 83 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,920 Speaker 1: really really sick. But I mean the nerve of her though, Yeah, 84 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: the nerve You got this good man and you're he's 85 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: taking care of you while you're saying the gall yeah, 86 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 1: the unmitigated gall. Yeah, Yeah, this is crazy yet something 87 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: with it. Put a strong with it, all right? Yeah, okay, 88 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 1: what you need to do part We don't have his name, 89 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: We don't even know his names, Robert, you need to 90 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: get out before she gets well, because look at the 91 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 1: tail she's giving away, thick. Look at what she's doing sick. 92 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: This is sick tail that she just constantly giving it away. 93 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: And you don't want her to get healthy and really 94 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 1: distribute that thing. Know what you need to do is 95 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: leave her sick ass right now before she gets fully well, 96 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 1: I mean completely what he's doing the sick, yeah, tail 97 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 1: it away? Yeah he ain't that damn sick? First of all? 98 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: Is she gonna drag out sickness for a long damn time? 99 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and make him feel guilty about staying there 100 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: taking care of her. Leave she has health insurance. To 101 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: leave her sick and when she gets well, yeah, givanta 102 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: to get will my man? All right? Look we're gonna 103 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: hear from Junior and Tommy. A man wrote in he 104 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:21,400 Speaker 1: and his wife have been married for sixteen years. Sixteen years. 105 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: They were going to get a divorce six years ago, 106 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,039 Speaker 1: but they found out that his wife was really sick. 107 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: They were going to get a divorce because he found 108 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: out that his wife had cheated on him. So then 109 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,880 Speaker 1: when she got sick, he decided to stay and help 110 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: her out because she couldn't work full time and he 111 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 1: had to help her financially. He worked extra hours at 112 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 1: a job he didn't like. I mean, where is this 113 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 1: man there? I mean, this is such a good, unselfish man, 114 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 1: and he wants to know is he selfish? So anyway, 115 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: he nursed her kind of back to health and everything. 116 00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: Then she got well and had another affair with a 117 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: new guy at her job, so and then her health 118 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: got worse. She had to sell working altogether. So now 119 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,039 Speaker 1: he feels like he's stuck because she has no source 120 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: of income and she's still on his health insurance. He 121 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: doesn't want to be with this woman. Uh he knows 122 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: if he leaves her right now while she's down, what 123 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: it'll look like. And they and they have two kids, 124 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: a boy and a girl who would go with him? 125 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: So his question is is he thinking selfishly for wanting 126 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: to leave this unfaithful marriage? And absolutely no, he's not selfish. 127 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: So that's that's the recap of the letter, h Junior. 128 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: What do you say? What did Jay say? Jay? And 129 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: let me tell you something. What better two people to 130 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: respond show we are ready. No, if Jay was sick ass, 131 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: then you should leave. But here's another option. But I 132 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: would like to present to you fresh problem as your 133 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 1: ass is too healthy. Get your ass sick and confronted, 134 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: and you got too much strength? You know you go 135 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 1: get Joe ass something. He needs to go something, need 136 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: to catch something. I don't know if it's woman calls 137 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: scarlet saves one of me birds flow, get yours something 138 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 1: and get your count take something whoever she did it with. 139 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: Be in a hospital. Get Joe ass admitted, and see 140 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: what hell going on with your wife? Yeah, you're too healthy. 141 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 1: She's not gonna help him, though certainly he too healthy. 142 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: All in cheating, tattening down there in the I see you. 143 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: Why you ain't down? Get Joe ass admitted. She cheated 144 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 1: with the second guy at her job. At the job 145 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: is down at the hospital. Get working. We're telling you 146 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:51,319 Speaker 1: people sickst people. Either you gonna leave or catch something. 147 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,199 Speaker 1: Get you something and get out of there. You need 148 00:08:56,240 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 1: to be in that room and hospit in her mate. 149 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:08,840 Speaker 1: We get it, We get it, Thank you, junior. All right, 150 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,560 Speaker 1: tell me my my vows are weighing me down. Sixteen 151 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: years of marriage. Uh, sickness and fidelity. Uh, bad health, 152 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 1: no job, health insurance? Thank god? What do you yes? 153 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 1: Is he being selfish? The most important thing that needs 154 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: to be on your mind? Eels life insurance. That is 155 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 1: what you might want. You need to make sure you 156 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: got five million dollars life insurance. Let her leave here. 157 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: Every time she go down, she come up with another man. 158 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: Let me tell you something, get you some life insurance. 159 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: Let her lead, Yeah, help her every step of the weight, 160 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: and I promise you she leaves. What what? Help nobody 161 00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 1: die before? That's illegal. You could go to prison for that, 162 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: just saying yeah, oh look, this woman is susceptible to diseases. 163 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,840 Speaker 1: We know that. We wait, wait if she's dying, never 164 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 1: said that. Okay, let's get her to dance. You gonna 165 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: do it? Cheat on me? And then I'm trying to 166 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: help you back back. I'm not trying to help you back. 167 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna cordially let you leave here, but 168 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make sure I got life in shar Just 169 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,800 Speaker 1: want to say, and then when you me and this 170 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: this boy and this baby, that you're leaving us with 171 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 1: we're gonna have money, and we're gonna leave and we're 172 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: gonna have a great life outter. You leave, and you 173 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: have decided to do this. You you decided to cheat 174 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: on me. And guess what life in Sharance is the key? 175 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: The key noticed this. You can put anything in vegetable 176 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: suit any God. They have two kids. They'll be losing 177 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: a mother and sure they losing a cheat. He can't keep. 178 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 1: He's not cheating on the kids. The daddy, Yeah, yeah, 179 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 1: and it's time for you to go. Either would do 180 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: what Jay said, dude, Well, I say, dude, I say, dude, 181 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:20,200 Speaker 1: get your ass something. He got options. There's nothing that 182 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: says you serious. When you pull your hospital bed up 183 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,960 Speaker 1: next to her and you catch her ass and egg well, 184 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: will will what he's doing. He can nurse her back 185 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:36,840 Speaker 1: to health and then leave her. She's that's the one too. 186 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: He's a good man. He does not want to leave 187 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 1: her while she's But you bring us, If you bring 188 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 1: her back, she just cheating on us again. Now you'll 189 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,320 Speaker 1: be out by then he'll be out. You're gonna give 190 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: all her street to go cheat again. Now she back 191 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 1: in full street. He won't be cheating. If he divorces her, 192 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,120 Speaker 1: she's strong, she cheats well, she won't be his wife 193 00:11:57,160 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: when you do right them. You can email us or 194 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: instagram as your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve 195 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 1: Harvey FM, or you can check out the Strawberry Letter 196 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: podcast on demand you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning 197 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 1: Show