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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: My girlfriend's parents ruined my proposal and try to break

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Speaker 2: us up. No, my girlfriend thirty and I forty, have

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Speaker 2: been in a relationship for eight years. She is pretty successful,

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Speaker 2: extremely smart, and I can say with complete confidence that

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Speaker 2: she is the best person I have ever known, much

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Speaker 2: better than me in every way. I feel lucky every day.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Throwaway seventy nine forty four.

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Speaker 2: And if you want us to make your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay Storytime, supredd it. I'm

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Speaker 2: Carly Majie and we're here to give good advice. Goofully.

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we would do, So let us know what you

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Speaker 2: would do in the comments and opieces. We have been

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Speaker 2: living together for six years at this point. We own

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Speaker 2: a house, share finances, have multiple pets, the whole nine yards. Recently,

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Speaker 2: I achieved some goals that I have been working towards

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Speaker 2: to make sure we have the opportunity for a good future,

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Speaker 2: mainly paying off debt and starting my own business. This

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Speaker 2: was the goal for me so I could bring our

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Speaker 2: relationship to the next level and get married. We have

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Speaker 2: discussed it in the past lightly and I fully believed

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Speaker 2: that we both wanted the same thing. So a few

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Speaker 2: weeks ago, I bought the ring while she was out

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Speaker 2: of town with her father on a tripo. Her parents

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Speaker 2: are pretty conservative emotionally. They are also immigrants from a

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Speaker 2: less than positive political country in the nineties, so although

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Speaker 2: they are a close family, they aren't hugs and I

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Speaker 2: love you close. They are also pretty successful and divorced.

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Speaker 2: I can be a bit old school in my thinking sometimes,

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Speaker 2: and I considered how they act and maybe some cultural

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Speaker 2: differences we share when I made the decision that it

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Speaker 2: would be best to try and get the approval not

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Speaker 2: permission from her father first before I made any solid

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Speaker 2: plans on proposal details. I chose this because it felt right,

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Speaker 2: and I was very concerned about straining any of the

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Speaker 2: relationship she had with her parents. So I reached out

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Speaker 2: to her father's longtime partner to try and arrange a

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Speaker 2: lunch or dinner with him, thinking it would be the

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Speaker 2: best way to keep it off the radars that I

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Speaker 2: could surprise my girlfriend mute. Her dad has a hard

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Speaker 2: time keeping secrets. I explained what was going on and

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Speaker 2: was met with excitement. I was happy with that. She

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Speaker 2: promised me she would make it happen and let me

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Speaker 2: bring it up to him at a dinner. A few

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Speaker 2: days goes by and I reach out again for an update.

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Speaker 2: He's super busy and really stressed out at work. Maybe

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Speaker 2: another week. Okay, fine. I don't know how difficult a

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Speaker 2: lunch or a dinner is supposed to be, but fine.

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Speaker 2: A few days later, they tell us they're going away

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Speaker 2: for the weekend. About two hours, I speak to his

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Speaker 2: partner again and I offer to drive out there and

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Speaker 2: buy them at dinner or lunch on either day. I'm

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Speaker 2: told I was being pushy and it's a red flag.

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Speaker 2: She asks me what the rush is. It's been a

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Speaker 2: week after eight years together. I'm not sure I understand,

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Speaker 2: but okay, just let me know you can wait a week. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he wants to get at dinner with her dad to

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Speaker 2: ask for the approval.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, that makes sense, Like, yeah, you can wait

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Speaker 3: a week, It'll be fine unless you have like a

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Speaker 3: specific date that you need to get this done by, right.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like it's not something that has to

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Speaker 2: be done like well in advance of the proposal. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like it's just something you want to know, you want

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Speaker 2: to do before the proposal.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. A few more days pass and I finally get

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Speaker 2: a message back with a reservation add an upscale restaurant

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Speaker 2: for the three of us, me, her father, and her

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Speaker 2: father's partner. I practice what I'm gonna say and try

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Speaker 2: to anticipate questions that he might have. He's a pretty

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Speaker 2: logical guy, so I'm guessing a question on a prenup

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Speaker 2: will be asked. Not a worry for me, as I'm

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Speaker 2: all for it. Questions on the business, Yes, I got

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Speaker 2: my numbers down, pat. What to do in case of

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Speaker 2: an emergency financial situation? We have a plan. I'm thinking.

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Speaker 2: I am good, hoping my odds are at a ninety

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Speaker 2: five percent or better. I mean, we have never had

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Speaker 2: a bad interaction. We get along. I treat his daughter

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Speaker 2: like the sun rises and sets on her every day,

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Speaker 2: or so I thought. The night of the dinner, I

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Speaker 2: arrive early and pull the manager to try to make

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Speaker 2: sure that we get a bit of extra attention, anything

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Speaker 2: really to help me out here. And I'm nervous as

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Speaker 2: a heck, but still feeling positive. They show up a

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Speaker 2: bit earlier than expect it. We get a good table

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Speaker 2: and sit down. We start talking the usual stuff, work,

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Speaker 2: weekend plans, how the trip with my girlfriend went, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: His partner starts to comment about the loud table next

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Speaker 2: to us, so I pull the manager back and ask

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Speaker 2: him if he can move us to a quieter table.

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Speaker 2: Easy move. We get to order appetizers and I dive in.

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Speaker 2: I tell him how much I love his daughter and

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Speaker 2: how much I respect him, and how much it would

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Speaker 2: mean to her and myself to have his approval to

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Speaker 2: get married. He's apparently speechless and pauses for a second.

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Speaker 2: I show him the ring. The Titanic sank in two

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Speaker 2: hours and forty minutes. We sat there for just over three.

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Speaker 2: I was not prepared for the complete and thorough butt

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Speaker 2: kicking I got as expected. I got the questions that

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Speaker 2: I assumed I would be asked, but it quickly devolved

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Speaker 2: into things like your car insurance coverage isn't good enough?

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Speaker 4: It is?

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Speaker 2: And questioning if I know my blood sugar and potassium

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Speaker 2: levels and why don't I what? That is so crazy,

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Speaker 2: so beyond thorough.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we need like.

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Speaker 4: A full medical report before you can marry our daughter.

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Speaker 4: That's crazy to know the genes. Yeah, literally for three hours.

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Speaker 2: Remember how I reached out to his partner and she

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Speaker 2: was all excited. I got ripped apart for putting her

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Speaker 2: in an uncomfortable position and forcing her to lie. I

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Speaker 2: was completely drowning. I had no choice but to stay

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Speaker 2: there until it just got worse and worse. Not really

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Speaker 2: angry or yelling. It was more like you got pulled

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Speaker 2: into HR and they wanted to go everything one by

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Speaker 2: one since you were hired. The dinner ended with him

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Speaker 2: saying he'll think about it, and he wants to talk

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Speaker 2: to my girlfriend first to see how she feels what.

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Speaker 4: You're gonna spoil it though you can't do.

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Speaker 5: That, mind you.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't know anything about any of this yet. It's

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Speaker 2: supposed to be a secret, you know, like a surprise proposal.

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Speaker 2: The dinner ended, I paid for the little we had,

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Speaker 2: since we never got past appetizers. Tipped the waitress one

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Speaker 2: hundred bucks. She was great, and we occupied at table

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Speaker 2: for three hours, so I figured it was fair. On

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Speaker 2: the way out, I smiled, shook their hands, and thanked

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Speaker 2: them for meeting with me. They left. I got in

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Speaker 2: my car and cried. I felt small and worthless, more

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Speaker 2: than I ever have. Even now, I can't think about

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Speaker 2: it without swallowing. When I finally got home, I put

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Speaker 2: on a smile. She was already in bed. She asked

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Speaker 2: me if I was okay. I lied and said yes.

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Speaker 2: Cut to two weeks later. I've been out pretty bad.

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Speaker 2: I figure I would give the man a month to

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Speaker 2: think about it. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep a smile

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Speaker 2: on my face for her, and it's not working completely.

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Speaker 3: Now that's so hard because like, if he tells her

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Speaker 3: what's wrong, then it will get spoilt, right, so she can't.

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Speaker 4: He can't do that.

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Speaker 2: I feel like either way it might get spoiled.

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Speaker 4: Though, Yeah, it's definitely gonna happen.

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Speaker 2: This is one of those things though, where I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's his girlfriend, so I'm sure that she's

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Speaker 2: answered this question, but it's like, is it something that's

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Speaker 2: truly important? To her, like to have her father's blessing.

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Speaker 2: I know he said he did it just to keep

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Speaker 2: the peace or like calm ties between her and her family,

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Speaker 2: but like, ultimately, like what does she want?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if he comes back and he says no, is

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Speaker 2: she totally cool? Right? Like I'm gonna marry him anyway?

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Speaker 5: Do Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Because That's what I'm wondering too, is like even if

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Speaker 3: he does break down and tell her what's making him

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Speaker 3: so upset, Like, how.

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Speaker 4: Is that gonna affect her?

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Speaker 3: Like is she gonna be so mad at her parents

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Speaker 3: or is she gonna be like, oh my gosh, maybe

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Speaker 3: they're right, like or just sad for the whole situation,

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Speaker 3: Like what's right?

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Speaker 4: I'm so curious.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, her mother is passing through the town for holiday weekend,

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Speaker 2: an wanted to meet her for lunch. I instantly thought

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Speaker 2: that her dad called her mother and she was going

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Speaker 2: to try to find out how my girlfriend felt about marriage.

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Speaker 2: Oh how wrong I was. I got a call a

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Speaker 2: few hours later with her in tears, crying on the

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Speaker 2: phone and saying we need to talk when she gets home.

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Speaker 2: I am immediately pissed. I know exactly what it's about,

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Speaker 2: and whatever they said upset her. I'm in full flight mode.

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Speaker 2: Remember she's the good one, she's the queen. I'm more

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Speaker 2: of a gorilla with a bat and full on angry

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Speaker 2: and she's in tears.

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Speaker 4: Oh that's a crazy way to describe yourself. Girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: There's definitely some potential like weird translations in this. Oh

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Speaker 2: not lining up exact, but gotcha. When she gets home,

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Speaker 2: we sit and talk. I try to remain calm when

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Speaker 2: she tells me she showed up to a little restaurant

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Speaker 2: and her father popped around the corner surprise. She told

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Speaker 2: me that she had her suspicions on what was going on.

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Speaker 2: Thought they were there to celebrate. They immediately went into

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Speaker 2: how I asked her dad out to dinner and asked

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Speaker 2: him for his blessing. She still didn't understand where it

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Speaker 2: was going. Then it started everything I went through with them.

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Speaker 2: She was now a victim to as well.

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Speaker 4: Oh gosh.

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Speaker 2: They brought up everything they could, not limited to topics

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Speaker 2: like genetics and mental health with my family history. It

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Speaker 2: was brutal and lasted another three hours.

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Speaker 4: She was crushed.

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Speaker 2: We talked and cried. She told me everything they said.

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Speaker 2: None of it was good. At one point, her father

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Speaker 2: said he was going to have his lawyer remove her

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Speaker 2: name from the business as a fifty percent owner. I

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Speaker 2: put her there because I don't want to have a

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Speaker 2: part of my life. She isn't involved in complete and

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Speaker 2: utter disaster. We eventually get calmed down and just relax

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Speaker 2: the rest of the night. I'm still pissed. The next day,

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Speaker 2: she decides to talk to her dad's partner to see

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Speaker 2: if she can try to find out what went wrong

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Speaker 2: at our dinner. Can't get worse right wrong again if

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Speaker 2: you go back a bit and read about how I

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Speaker 2: put her in an uncomfortable position to lie and got

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Speaker 2: ripped for it. She didn't. She folded right away. In fact,

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Speaker 2: they had enough time to discuss between themselves and run

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Speaker 2: a full background check on me. Oh my god, court records, financials,

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Speaker 2: criminal history, probably with the lawyer's help. For the record,

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Speaker 2: I have very little debt, maybe three K, no criminal history,

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Speaker 2: but I came from nothing. Dad bailed when I was

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Speaker 2: around nine, and Mom occasionally stopped by after twelve when

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Speaker 2: she wasn't scamming dudes for free stuff and vacations out

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Speaker 2: of state. I may have not led the best life,

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Speaker 2: but I was focused on survival because I was a kid,

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Speaker 2: so my records probably reflect that. But at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, I'd like to think that I'm a

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Speaker 2: good person and try to do the right thing and

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Speaker 2: work hard. At this point, I want to go off

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Speaker 2: on her parents. I'm pissed. They hurt her, they hurt me.

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Speaker 2: In my girlfriend's words, they tried to put doubt in

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Speaker 2: her mind and scare her. I don't want them at

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Speaker 2: the house. I don't want to see them. I don't

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Speaker 2: want them anywhere around her. We got a little bit more.

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Speaker 4: Geez, man, that's a lot.

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Speaker 3: I wonder how she would feel about like not having

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Speaker 3: them around or like going low contact together.

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Speaker 2: Because I almost feel like she went through like the

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Speaker 2: same interrogation yeah, which.

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Speaker 4: Is weird because it's like, well, don't you know me,

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Speaker 4: I'm your daughter.

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Speaker 2: Right, But they were like interrogating her about Opiomo.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I know that there's a cultural difference,

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Speaker 2: but it's like if it's who she wants to marry, yeah,

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Speaker 2: love and support her for.

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Speaker 4: Do we know where they are?

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Speaker 2: I don't know where they are. Like either way that

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Speaker 2: wherever they are, I think they're her family immigrated from

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Speaker 2: somewhere else.

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Speaker 4: Okay, okay, So yeah, OPI does not.

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Speaker 2: Have the same cultural stuff as her family, gotcha. So

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Speaker 2: there's already the like disconnect there. Yeah, and he tried

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Speaker 2: so hard to do it, Like, I'm going to respect

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Speaker 2: how you guys do it and how you guys feel

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Speaker 2: about it. Yes, cut ripped to shred.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, can do you like trust us? Trust your daughter?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 3: I don't understand all of these rules for getting married?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit left. I wouldn't want them involved

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Speaker 2: in the proposal or a wedding. I think the behavior

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Speaker 2: is disgusting. On the other hand, I don't think they

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Speaker 2: are bad people at the core. I think they have issues.

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Speaker 2: I know how important a healthy relationship with parents is,

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Speaker 2: and I want her to have that with them. But

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Speaker 2: at the moment, I am in the mind of cutting

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Speaker 2: them completely out and just saying if you she wants

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Speaker 2: to try and salvage this situation and plans to talk

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Speaker 2: to them in a few days. So am I overreacting here?

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Speaker 2: And that's the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: My best friend betrayed me at my wedding, so I

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Speaker 3: ruined him the same way.

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Speaker 2: What did he do to you?

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Speaker 4: I twenty seven mail have a best mate of twenty

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Speaker 4: years twenty seven mal who will call Luke.

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Speaker 3: We have practically grown up together and we considered each

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Speaker 3: other family. In the past couple of years, I have

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Speaker 3: begun to resent him a little bit more on this later,

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Speaker 3: but we have gone through so much together that I

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Speaker 3: regarded him as a brother, so I tolerated him.

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Speaker 4: By the way.

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Speaker 3: This comes from Objective Fixed thirty four or thirteen. And

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: the r slash Okay storytime separate it and I'm Angie,

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Speaker 3: I'm Karly, and we're here to give good advice goofly,

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Speaker 3: but we don't have all the answers. We're just going

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Speaker 3: to guess what we would do in the situation. But

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Speaker 3: let us know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 3: So Opie says, we were part of a close circle

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Speaker 3: of friends and we've all known each other since primary school.

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Speaker 3: As such, we have been on many holidays together, lived together.

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Speaker 4: Some of us went to the same UNI. I guess

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Speaker 4: the point I'm trying.

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Speaker 3: To make is that we're all really close and trust

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Speaker 3: each other with a lot somethings super personal and intimate

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Speaker 3: because we think of each other like family. To that point,

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Speaker 3: I met my now wife, Beth twenty seven female, five

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Speaker 3: years ago at UNI at a coffee shop.

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Speaker 4: And I fell hard.

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Speaker 3: We moved in together after we graduated, and I proposed

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Speaker 3: to her after we were dating for four years, and

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Speaker 3: it was one of the best days of my life.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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Speaker 3: I had done some things that I'm not proud of

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Speaker 3: when I was younger, lots of partying, substances, drinking, and

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Speaker 3: the stuff which usually follows that. And since I turned twenty,

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00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,360
Speaker 3: I really tried to be a better person and make

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Speaker 3: better decisions with my life. Luke also met his now wife,

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Speaker 3: twenty seven female, Claire, at the same time as Beth

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Speaker 3: and Claire were also friends, but they started dating around.

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Speaker 4: A year after us. This that as a couple we

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Speaker 4: were really close.

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Speaker 3: We did a lot of things together as couples, made

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Speaker 3: some good memories and some bad ones. After our two

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Speaker 3: year anniversary, we met up with Luke and Claire for

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Speaker 3: dinner at our place. We were drinking and having a

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Speaker 3: good time. We went around the table saying things and

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Speaker 3: it fell to me last I told a lie, as

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Speaker 3: I had not yet disclosed my prior transgressions to Beth

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Speaker 3: yet and I was waiting for the right time. Wrong

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Speaker 3: of me, I know, but part of me was scared

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Speaker 3: what might happen if I did, And of course Luke

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00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,680
Speaker 3: knew this. As you can imagine, Beth was not happy

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Speaker 3: with this, and just to make it worse, Luke than

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Speaker 3: decided to rattle off three other times that I had

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Speaker 3: again done something dumb.

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Speaker 4: I don't really want to make them.

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Speaker 3: Too public, as I said, I'm not too pleased about them,

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Speaker 3: but rest assured if you were getting blindsided by this info,

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Speaker 3: you would not be pleased anyway. That ended the dinner awkwardly,

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Speaker 3: and Beth was mad at me for not telling her

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Speaker 3: this previously, and she went to stay at her parents

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Speaker 3: a whole. This is what started my hatred of Luke.

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Speaker 3: I accept my part in not telling Beth about this

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Speaker 3: because I knew it was wrong, but someone who I

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Speaker 3: considered family didn't even give me the opportunity to tell

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Speaker 3: my future wife about this in the right way and

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Speaker 3: just blindsided us both. I let it slide because all

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Speaker 3: I really cared about was Beth, and part of me

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00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,320
Speaker 3: knew that I was more to blame for this than

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Speaker 3: he was. Me and Beth made up and I told

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Speaker 3: her about all the other things that I did and regretted,

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Speaker 3: and what I've been trying to do since to make

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Speaker 3: up for it. The biggest problem with Luke is that

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Speaker 3: he will always put himself first. He never seems to

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Speaker 3: think or care about what other people want or may

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00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,240
Speaker 3: think about something. As long as it benefits him or

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00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,560
Speaker 3: he thinks it's funny, then he'll do it. For example,

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00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,600
Speaker 3: he will ask to borrow money, but if you ever

347
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,000
Speaker 3: went to him for something even as low as five pounds,

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00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,280
Speaker 3: he will make some excuse why he can't.

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Speaker 4: He likes to make very personal jokes about people. I'm

350
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,200
Speaker 4: a short guy at five six, got screwed there, and

351
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,120
Speaker 4: he will always make jokes about my hack.

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Speaker 3: I'm usually okay with this because people have been doing

353
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,600
Speaker 3: it for over twenty years and I could see the humor.

354
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,200
Speaker 3: But he has no idea where the limit is and

355
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,480
Speaker 3: will always carry on no matter the situation, even if

356
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Speaker 3: he can see it is making me physically uncomfortable. If

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00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,480
Speaker 3: I was to make a passing joke about it, hair

358
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,880
Speaker 3: then he would get all moody and sometimes angry. Fast

359
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,760
Speaker 3: forward a year and a half and me and Beth

360
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,920
Speaker 3: are in a great place. We had just moved to

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Speaker 3: London for better career opportunities, and I proposed to her

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Speaker 3: shortly after we moved, and thank god she said yes.

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Speaker 4: Who congratula.

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Speaker 3: I decided to make Luke my best man against my

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Speaker 3: better judgment, as my parents were very keen on it

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Speaker 3: and we honestly needed their money to pull it all off.

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Speaker 4: Guys.

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00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,640
Speaker 3: Coming up to the wedding, I spoke to Luke and

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Speaker 3: Claire specifically and asked them not just as a friend

370
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Speaker 3: but as family not to mention one of the things

371
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Speaker 3: that happened on our lads holiday in his best man speech.

372
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,800
Speaker 3: In summary, we ended up doing a lot of partying

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Speaker 3: and me and one of my other mates in our

374
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,600
Speaker 3: haze ended up getting a spicy worker. Not proud of this,

375
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,440
Speaker 3: but at least this time. Beth knew about it beforehand,

376
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,080
Speaker 3: but my family did not, and I wanted to keep

377
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:53,560
Speaker 3: it that way.

378
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,640
Speaker 2: I was just gonna be like, and does Beth know

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00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:56,200
Speaker 2: this one?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:56,680
Speaker 3: Right?

382
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:56,960
Speaker 5: Right?

383
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,080
Speaker 2: But she does, and I could totally understand. Like I

384
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,600
Speaker 2: I'd be like, that's just stuff that doesn't need to

385
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,320
Speaker 2: come up in a speech after you married someone that

386
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,600
Speaker 2: you love, Yeah, exactly, especially if she knows.

387
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:06,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

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00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,960
Speaker 3: I was thinking like, if the reason then he didn't

389
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,680
Speaker 3: want that to happen is because he didn't want Beth

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00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:10,919
Speaker 3: to know.

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00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,840
Speaker 4: Then I was like, okay, dude, like he's like.

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00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,720
Speaker 2: Na ful send say it, yeah right, tell her before

393
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:16,640
Speaker 2: the wedding. Yeah.

394
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:19,800
Speaker 3: Absolutely, But I totally understand that you don't want your

395
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Speaker 3: parents to know.

396
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Speaker 4: I think that's totally fair.

397
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 2: I can appreciate that just being like a really tacky

398
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:27,640
Speaker 2: tactic for a speech.

399
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, we just like talk about our child We

400
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,639
Speaker 3: have so many years together, talk about our childhood, not

401
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,679
Speaker 3: our b memory.

402
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:35,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.

403
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,560
Speaker 3: I'm not super close to my family, primarily because they

404
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:41,200
Speaker 3: are very opinionated and will always give me their opinion

405
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:43,240
Speaker 3: on personal things and get annoyed with me when I

406
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 3: don't agree, even if it's.

407
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,000
Speaker 4: Something which does not concern them in the slightest. He

408
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 4: apparently understood and said that he would not mention it.

409
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 4: Don't like where this is going.

410
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,359
Speaker 3: Well, no surprise here, on what was supposed to be

411
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,000
Speaker 3: the best day of our lives.

412
00:17:55,760 --> 00:18:00,040
Speaker 4: Luke ruined it by mentioning this very thing. Luke, what

413
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 4: are you doing?

414
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,399
Speaker 2: What are you doing? He asked you to do one thing.

415
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:04,439
Speaker 5: One thing, dude.

416
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 3: Honestly, when it happened, I was not surprised. He was

417
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 3: laughing while talking about it, and when he glanced at me,

418
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 3: he could see the rage in both mine and Beth's eyes.

419
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:15,760
Speaker 4: In an awkward five.

420
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,960
Speaker 3: Minutes, no one laughed at any point in his speech,

421
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,280
Speaker 3: and when he sat down, he was visibly embarrassed, as

422
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 3: he should be.

423
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, like boohoo, Yeah, my.

424
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,120
Speaker 3: So called brother did the very thing that I asked

425
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 3: him not to do on our wedding day. My family

426
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,480
Speaker 3: was not pleased with this information and did not hesitate

427
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,800
Speaker 3: to make that clear to me after the dinner, and

428
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 3: my eighty six year old grandparents, who were the only

429
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,760
Speaker 3: family I was really close to, left early.

430
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,280
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I.

431
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,359
Speaker 3: Doing like I feel like that's so obvious not to

432
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,439
Speaker 3: talk about, like if you're at a group of friends

433
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,639
Speaker 3: or something like that, Like if it's a friend's only wedding,

434
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,240
Speaker 3: then go ahead.

435
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 2: Even then, though I'm kind of just like, it's not

436
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,200
Speaker 2: something to be talked about, and.

437
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:59,679
Speaker 3: That's really really not And it's like especially around family

438
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,360
Speaker 3: and her family too, Like.

439
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 2: It's the same kind of thing when people will bring

440
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 2: up like past girlfriends or boyfriends and their speech. Yeah,

441
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 2: so glad that you're not with so like why why

442
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 2: are we talking about this?

443
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 4: We've moved on, not the place.

444
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 3: I was crushed by this and consumed with rage, but

445
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 3: I did not want to spoil my wedding, so I

446
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 3: asked Luke and Claire.

447
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 4: To leave, and sensing my mood, they thankfully obliged.

448
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 3: The rest of the wedding went all right, but after

449
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 3: the speech it was already ruined for us, as.

450
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 4: Everyone wasn't really in a mood anymore.

451
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,720
Speaker 3: My family were obviously pissed about that story, and my

452
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:32,840
Speaker 3: friends were pissed.

453
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 4: At Luke for blatantly ignoring what I asked of him.

454
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 3: I didn't speak to Luke much after the wedding, as

455
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,879
Speaker 3: he could sense that I was done with him, but

456
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,359
Speaker 3: Beth kept in touch with Claire, which I was okay

457
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 3: with because I knew it wasn't Claire's fault.

458
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 4: Anyway, onto the good bit.

459
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,720
Speaker 3: Last week was Luke and Claire's wedding. When planning the wedding,

460
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,240
Speaker 3: Luke asked me to be his best man for his wedding.

461
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,480
Speaker 3: To extend, an Olive Branch notes that at no point

462
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 3: did he.

463
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 4: Apologize for what he said or accepted he was wrong.

464
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 3: I agreed, not because I cared about him. In the

465
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 3: lightest but because I was going to do to him

466
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 3: the very thing that he did to me.

467
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,000
Speaker 4: Oh boy, oh boy, I see now.

468
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't necessarily agree with revenge, but I think

469
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 2: you've already done it at the time of this story.

470
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,199
Speaker 3: Yeah right, I fear it is too late just to

471
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 3: stop here. It is vindictive, yes, but I didn't care.

472
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 3: He ruined the best day of our lives because what

473
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 3: his ego. There was literally no reason to do what

474
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 3: he did, but he did it anyway. When Luke was eighteen,

475
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 3: on a night out, he got with an older woman

476
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 3: who was married with three kids.

477
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:34,920
Speaker 4: Oh boy.

478
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:37,639
Speaker 3: The husband found out and tried to fight Luke, but

479
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 3: he got the better of him and ended up.

480
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 4: Sending the guy to the hospital. Oh my god.

481
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 3: Safe to say they got a divorce and Luke practically

482
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 3: destroyed a family and had no regrets.

483
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 4: I'm so scared for this.

484
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, honestly, though, dude, why are we friends with Luke? H?

485
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,919
Speaker 4: Why are we friends with Luke? So long?

486
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 2: To the point, like, I get it, you grew up

487
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 2: with him. He's proving time and time again to be

488
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,959
Speaker 2: a terrible person. Yeah, we're keeping him around.

489
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like.

490
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 3: If you wanted to get revenge on this guy, just

491
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 3: like back out at the last minute or something like

492
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 3: that's caused.

493
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,360
Speaker 2: Them the little panic stress on the day and.

494
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 4: Then that's it. Yeah, and then be done with his friendship,

495
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 4: like to block him.

496
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 2: You don't need to be yeah talking to him ever again?

497
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 5: Right.

498
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 4: The best thing about the story was he.

499
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,439
Speaker 3: Didn't actually tell me not to mention it, and I

500
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 3: knew Claire would never know about it.

501
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 4: I don't like where this is going.

502
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 3: No, she grew up Catholic, while she is not practicing Christianity.

503
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 3: Her family is so on the day I stood up

504
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:38,919
Speaker 3: and shattered his world. No, I looked him right in

505
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 3: the eye as I started it, and I could see

506
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,320
Speaker 3: the smile drain from his face when he knew where

507
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 3: it was going. When I finished it, it was just

508
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 3: as awkward as my wedding, but I sat down with

509
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 3: confidence because I knew everyone there knew why I shared

510
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 3: that story. I enjoyed the rest of the wedding with

511
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 3: my mates, who all supported what I did, not their

512
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 3: girlfriends and fiances.

513
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 4: But can't win everything. Luke did not look at me once.

514
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,440
Speaker 3: After, as he knew that there's nothing more to say

515
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 3: between us a week on from the wedding. I have

516
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 3: not spoken to Luke at all, and I don't want to.

517
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 3: I apologize to Claire in person, as it was her

518
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 3: wedding day too, and I did feel like it wasn't

519
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 3: fair on her to be caught like that. But I

520
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 3: explained how I felt about Luke and what he had

521
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 3: done in my wedding the dinner that night, and there

522
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 3: is a little bit more into the story.

523
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,920
Speaker 4: But yeah, poor Claire Man.

524
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:27,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to know what her like response to that. Well, yeah,

525
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 2: because like wedding, I get that it might have been

526
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:33,399
Speaker 2: the only way to like get Luke to realize the

527
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 2: pain that he's been causing.

528
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe be sorry, I guess.

529
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 2: But there's almost like I wish maybe it could have

530
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 2: been done at like a rehearsal dinner if you really

531
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,360
Speaker 2: wanted to, or like somewhere else that you toast if

532
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 2: you really wanted it to be wedding related, Like like

533
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,239
Speaker 2: why did we have to do it at the like

534
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,479
Speaker 2: day because you knew how crappy it felt?

535
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, but there is a little bit more into the story.

536
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 4: Beth and Claire had the same opinion.

537
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 3: They understood why it did it, but they're not really

538
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 3: happy that I didn't tell them about it. Luke and

539
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 3: Claire's parents called me the day after and screamed down

540
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 3: the phone, calling me an a hole for exposing Luke

541
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 3: like that, but I laughed back at them. I reminded

542
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 3: Luke's parents that they were at my wedding and saw

543
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 3: what he did, and it was rich for them to

544
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,160
Speaker 3: rip me a new one. And despite their son doing

545
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,400
Speaker 3: the same thing and them saying nothing to me about

546
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 3: it on the day after.

547
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:19,640
Speaker 4: I don't think that I'm the a hole here.

548
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,439
Speaker 3: Sure, immature, I will accept that, but I do have

549
00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:24,520
Speaker 3: to ask am I.

550
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,880
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that one.

551
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:26,479
Speaker 4: Yes it is.

552
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 2: I tried banning my fiance's best friend's wife from our wedding,

553
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:33,400
Speaker 2: but she came.

554
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 4: Anyway, keyword tried.

555
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,119
Speaker 2: I don't really know what to do, and there is

556
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 2: so much backstory here, but I am really stressing about

557
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,120
Speaker 2: this girl that's invited to my wedding. I'm not really

558
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 2: sure where to start because there is a lot that

559
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 2: has led up to this moment. By the way, this

560
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 2: comes from Classy Polar Bear ten seventy two, and if

561
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 2: you wanted to meet your own stories, go to the

562
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: r slash, Okay, storytime Sebreddit. I'm Carly, I'm Angie, and

563
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 2: we're here to give good advice. Goofully, but we don't

564
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,560
Speaker 2: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

565
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do in the comments,

566
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:09,640
Speaker 2: and Opie says Ultimately, my fiance has had Matt as

567
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 2: his best friend for twenty years. Matt is a cool

568
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,200
Speaker 2: and solid guy, but not trustworthy. Matt just got married

569
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 2: to Kat a couple weeks ago, but they had been

570
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,480
Speaker 2: engaged since twenty twenty two. They were never in a

571
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,440
Speaker 2: rush to get married, and anytime anyone's asked, that's exactly

572
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 2: what they said. After my fiance and I got engaged

573
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 2: winter twenty twenty five and we knew we wanted a

574
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 2: short engagement, Matt and Kat immediately started planning their wedding

575
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 2: after they found out. Any time I tried to talk

576
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 2: to Kat about her wedding or otherwise, she either gave

577
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 2: me an attitude or flat out ignored me. What unless

578
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 2: she has had a few drinks where she's asked about

579
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 2: the tea, she ignores my existence completely. When I attended

580
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 2: her bridle shower and wedding, she wouldn't even look in

581
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 2: my direction, and when I went up to congratulate her,

582
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 2: she sounded less than enthused. I recently found out that

583
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,880
Speaker 2: Kat has been saying terrible things about me when I'm

584
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 2: not around, and essentially tries to turn one of my

585
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 2: closest friends against me, and it seems to be working.

586
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 2: According to the people I heard from, Kat was talking bad.

587
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 2: They think she might be upset that I'm stealing her

588
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,880
Speaker 2: man's best friend from him.

589
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:22,159
Speaker 4: But what, I don't think.

590
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 2: That makes sense. I don't want her to starting any

591
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,200
Speaker 2: drama at my wedding. I don't want to be stressed

592
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 2: that she and my other close friends are spending time

593
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 2: together at my wedding. But this is technically my fiance's call,

594
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 2: right since it's his best friend's wife, it's as much

595
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,880
Speaker 2: his day as it is mine. But I don't want

596
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 2: this girl bringing her shadow and putting a damper on

597
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 2: the whole thing. What could be the solution here? We

598
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 2: have some relevant comments, But.

599
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 4: What say you? I say a conversation needs to take place.

600
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 2: I I second, I.

601
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 3: Believe that yeah, you need to be straight up with

602
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 3: her and be like, hey girl, what what is happening?

603
00:25:58,720 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 2: Huh?

604
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 3: And then if she like presses or like explains it

605
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 3: more like you canna sell him about my big my

606
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,120
Speaker 3: boyfriend from him.

607
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,239
Speaker 4: It's like, well, okay, first of all, how make that

608
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:11,800
Speaker 4: make sense?

609
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: I feel like that cannot be the real reason.

610
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, you're so right, and even it like if

611
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 3: it is, or if we find out the right reason,

612
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 3: be like, yo, I'm like this close to not letting

613
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 3: you come to the wedding, right, like not want the wedding,

614
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,879
Speaker 3: Like sure I would want you there. You can lie

615
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 3: like I really want you there and obviously like we

616
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 3: are going to invite hit like the boyfriend, the best friend,

617
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 3: you know, no matter what. But if you keep this upthing,

618
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 3: I don't want you at my wedding day if you're

619
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 3: so against our relationship.

620
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, really hard though to not invite her too.

621
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I feel like you would just invite him

622
00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 3: and not give him a plus one.

623
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 4: I think that's it.

624
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 2: Relevant comments comment are one, I think you were going

625
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 2: to have a lot more drama if you don't invite her,

626
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,640
Speaker 2: to be honest, just don't say her with your friends.

627
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 2: Opie says, Yeah, you're right about the drama. We are

628
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 2: having a small ceremony though forty people and there's no

629
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 2: seating assignments at the restaurant we booked. It's a buffet

630
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 2: and kind of just a lounge type of vibe. Comment

631
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,080
Speaker 2: Or two tough, it's not just your wedding, it's also

632
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,920
Speaker 2: your fiance's wedding, as you said. And I'm sure he'd

633
00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:13,880
Speaker 2: prefer it if his best friend had his wife there,

634
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: see her elsewhere and just suck it up for the day.

635
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:21,920
Speaker 2: Opie says, Actually he doesn't like her either. Commentar three says, Opie,

636
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 2: is this a pattern for you? And by this I

637
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 2: mean feeling like you have to manage everyone else's emotions

638
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 2: to avoid conflict. The reason I ask is that your

639
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 2: other post suggests maybe you find it deeply uncomfortable to

640
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 2: put yourself forward or let other people manage their own reactions.

641
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 2: If I'm wrong, then I'll shut my mouth if I'm not.

642
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 2: And this is a pattern I feel for you. It's

643
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:46,360
Speaker 2: a hard pattern to break, but with work it is possible. Finally,

644
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 2: let people talk about you if you want. It only

645
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 2: affects your life if you let it be unbothered and

646
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,359
Speaker 2: focus on yourself. Opie says, thank you for this. I've

647
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 2: actually done a lot of work to get where I am,

648
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 2: but it's still a work in progress. I've always had

649
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,480
Speaker 2: ish she was with feeling like I'm a burden to

650
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: others and just putting myself last because it's easier to

651
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 2: regulate my emotions than deal with other people's emotions. That

652
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 2: being said, I figured that a wedding day was important

653
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 2: enough to put myself first. But I'm not the only

654
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 2: one in the picture here. It's my fiance too. Also,

655
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 2: I don't care in the slightest of people talk about me.

656
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 2: I just don't want that vibe at my wedding. Commander

657
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 2: four says, I don't think you can exclude her without drama.

658
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 2: Be the bigger person people know who the a hole is.

659
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 2: Opie says, yeah, you're right. Really looking for boundaries I

660
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 2: can set or maybe have people that can run interference

661
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 2: during the day. I don't know. Maybe I'm making a

662
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 2: bigger deal than it is. Commander five says, there are

663
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 2: no drama free options. Pick the one you can live with.

664
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 2: What kind of close friends believe the other person without cause?

665
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 2: Opie says, probably the people please are kind that doesn't

666
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 2: like conflict and always wants to keep the peace, so

667
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 2: they don't stick up for their friends. Commentar five responds,

668
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 2: you said that Kat was starting to turn people against you.

669
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,280
Speaker 2: There's a difference between being too wimpy to speak up

670
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: and switching sides. Opie says, maybe I'm viewing it the

671
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 2: wrong way. I understand everyone has their stuff going on,

672
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: but I've been reaching out to my friend to get

673
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 2: together with her since the spring without fail as she

674
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 2: will cancel or change plans which never end up happening,

675
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 2: but always makes time for Kat. I've gone out of

676
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 2: my way for this friend many times. Maybe I'm missing something,

677
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 2: and I should definitely have a conversation with her directly

678
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 2: as soon as I can. But something seems fishy. Maybe

679
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 2: Kat didn't turn this friend against me per se, but

680
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 2: something is different than it used to be before Kat

681
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 2: showed up. But thank you for helping me realize that

682
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 2: I need to talk to my friend before jumping to conclusions.

683
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 2: Should Opie talk with her fiance to let him know

684
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: what was going on and what he thinks about this?

685
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 2: Opi responds, I actually just talk to him about everything

686
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 2: going on, and he said that everyone that is invited

687
00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 2: is invited. Asking anyone not to come would cause more drama,

688
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 2: which is the opposite of what we want that after

689
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 2: our day we don't have to associate with them anymore.

690
00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 2: That's interesting.

691
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.

692
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,479
Speaker 2: I kind of want to know, like what it is

693
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 2: that Kat's actually been doing besides just like not wanting

694
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 2: to talk about like.

695
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 4: Her weddy, like were there are other instances where she's being.

696
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 2: Weird and like turning your friends against you, which kind

697
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 2: of sounds just like your friends hang out with her more,

698
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 2: but they're her friends too, Like I'm not necessarily seeing

699
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 2: what drama she could cause at your wedding besides like

700
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 2: talking to your friends, yeah, or.

701
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 3: Maybe like making weird comments, because I mean she did

702
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 3: make weird comments about, like, you know, their relationship, so

703
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 3: I wonder if she would do anything like that.

704
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 2: But I wonder if there's a way to kind of

705
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 2: be like, sure she can come, but if I get

706
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 2: wind that she's like being witchy, Yeah, she's out.

707
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 4: Like just even a whisper.

708
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: Right, I'm not dealing yeah, exact thing. Honestly, he and

709
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 2: his best friend haven't even been talking lately, so I'm

710
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 2: not really sure where he stands there. I mean, he

711
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,400
Speaker 2: still wants him at his wedding, but he doesn't like

712
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 2: or respect his best friend's wife. So at this point,

713
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: they have also been growing distant recently, and we have

714
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 2: an update two weeks later.

715
00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 4: Should we just dive right into it?

716
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 2: Okay? So fiance and I talked, Okay, he had been

717
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 2: growing kind of distant from this friend anyway, So he

718
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 2: basically told me that we won't pay attention to them

719
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: since it's our wedding and afterwards we don't really need

720
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 2: to associate with them. After this talk, his best friend

721
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 2: Matt called him on Saturday afternoon and invited us to

722
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 2: his son's birthday party. When Fiance told me about this,

723
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 2: I asked who was going to be there? Is it

724
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 2: a small thing or was this planned? And we were

725
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 2: an afterthought? Matt's wife, Kat would have done all the

726
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 2: inviting to the party. Well, we show up and we

727
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: were definitely an afterthought. This party was huge, grandparents, great grandparents,

728
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,280
Speaker 2: all their friends, their families, et cetera. We ended up

729
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 2: staying for a little bit, but leaving before most of

730
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 2: the others. We kept to the plan we spoke about,

731
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 2: even though the whole party thing hurt, especially since my

732
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 2: fiance is supposed to be this kid's godparent.

733
00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 4: Oh gosh.

734
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 2: Anyway, the wedding day comes and this group of friends

735
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 2: is running late. My fiance kept walking away from the

736
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 2: officiant when they asked if we were ready to start

737
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 2: to buy time for the friends to show up. They

738
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: were probably twenty minutes late. Whatever, I don't care. I'm

739
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 2: as cool as a cucumber and I am just going

740
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 2: with the flow of the day. We get through the

741
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 2: ceremony without a hitch. After they arrive. After the ceremony,

742
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 2: we do post pics, family friends, et cetera. We get

743
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 2: to the girls pic and Kat is like, do you

744
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 2: want me in this? I'm in a fantastic mood and

745
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 2: I don't really think anything of it.

746
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 3: I'm worried with how that was worded and what's gonna

747
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:36,719
Speaker 3: happen in this picture?

748
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 5: Yeah?

749
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 3: Right, Like it sounds like the way she set it

750
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:41,959
Speaker 3: up sounds like something's about to happen in this picture.

751
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 2: Or I can confirm that that's the rest, Like the

752
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 2: picture's not talked about again.

753
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 3: Oh okay, So I think it was just like, yeah,

754
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 3: you can come, and I'm so happy I'm married.

755
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, okay.

756
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 2: At the reception, though, some of my high school friends

757
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 2: tell me, Kat's being weird, rude and whatever. My other

758
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 2: friend told me at the end of the night that

759
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 2: Kat had announced her pregnancy when I was in the

760
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 2: other room. And that's your pregnancy at a wedding, and

761
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:08,200
Speaker 2: that's a get out.

762
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 5: Yeah.

763
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,719
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, okay, bye, go be pregnant, Go be pregnant.

764
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 4: Ye go home. Oh you need to rest because you're

765
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,440
Speaker 4: making a baby. Yeah.

766
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 3: That's so much worse than proposing at someone's wedding, I think.

767
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 2: Yeah. All in all, there was no direct drama with me,

768
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 2: and the day was everything I could have asked for

769
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 2: and more. At this point, we are planning on keeping

770
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 2: these friends at arm's length and just live in our lives.

771
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 2: Some top comments commenter. In this situation, I think keeping

772
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 2: these friends at arm's length should mean not doing anything

773
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 2: purposely to engage with them and leave the burden of

774
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 2: mending the relationship on them.

775
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 4: I agree.

776
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 2: If they don't, then you know that they're no longer

777
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 2: really friends and you can cut your losses. You all

778
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 2: sound really young, so you've probably not yet learned that

779
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 2: a lot of friendships you make early in your adulthood

780
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 2: don't survive as you all grow mature and choose different

781
00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 2: paths in life, and that is the end of that story.

782
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're going to get back to these stories.

783
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

784
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:09,040
Speaker 5: My brother got scammed by his X, but I refused

785
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 5: to help him. Oh No, I thirty seven female. I

786
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 5: have an older brother, Georg forty five male. As his

787
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 5: name is George, who isn't an idiot, but can be lazy.

788
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 5: He's definitely the time to rely on weaponized in competence

789
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,879
Speaker 5: whenever women and girls are by the way. This comes

790
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 5: from user Glittering disc fifty nine to twenty nine, and

791
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:31,880
Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

792
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 5: the oslash okay story. I'm suburt It, I'm Dakota.

793
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 2: I'm Angie, I'm Keon.

794
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 6: But we don't know everything now all the time. Sometimes

795
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 6: we don't, Sometimes you do. Let us know what you

796
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 6: know in the comments.

797
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 5: As Op says, here's an example of George's weaponized incompetence.

798
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 5: He literally acted like he didn't know where our mom

799
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,239
Speaker 5: kept the paper plates in the house he had lived

800
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 5: in for nearly twenty years, just so she would get

801
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 5: up and go into the kitchen to make him his plate.

802
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 5: During the holidays one week after her Punyan surgery. Side note,

803
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 5: they both tried to passive aggressively make me feel guilty

804
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 5: for not offering to fix my adult brother's plate so

805
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,720
Speaker 5: our mom wouldn't have to like I wasn't the only

806
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 5: one doing most of the cooking and would also be

807
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 5: doing most of the cleaning afterwards, at age thirty, George

808
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,879
Speaker 5: was given a windfall from our grandfather's estate. I got

809
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 5: something too, and used it as a down payment for

810
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:37,800
Speaker 5: a nice five bedroom house which is now easily worth double.

811
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,760
Speaker 5: During this time, he met Melinda fifty female. Melinda Gates

812
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 5: a nice lady. She was smart, responsible, hard working, sweet,

813
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:50,279
Speaker 5: and very organized. She came into the relationship with a

814
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,399
Speaker 5: steady job and was upfront about her inability to have

815
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:56,879
Speaker 5: more children after complications from nearly losing her life giving

816
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 5: birth to her daughter. George stated that he was okay

817
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 5: with that, but whenever Melinda would bring up his hesitation

818
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 5: regarding marriage, he'd say he had complicated feelings about not

819
00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:11,640
Speaker 5: being able to be a father if he fully committed

820
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 5: to her, and that he needed to process it. He

821
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 5: said that since he was willing to overlook her fertility

822
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 5: issues because he loved her she needed to show her

823
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:26,200
Speaker 5: love by waiting for him. That line worked for twelve years.

824
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:30,879
Speaker 5: After Melinda moved in, George demanded that she pay half

825
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 5: the bills and part of his mortgage in exchange for

826
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,359
Speaker 5: allowing her daughter to move in with her. At the time,

827
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 5: Melinda had few options, as her former landlord was raising

828
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 5: the rent too high and she was helping pay her

829
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 5: sister's medical bills. Melinda and George justified to everyone that

830
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 5: what she would have paid to George was still cheaper

831
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:55,280
Speaker 5: than rent at her old place. I said nothing because

832
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,919
Speaker 5: it wasn't my relationship. Two years ago, George was caught

833
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 5: cheating and Melinda was furious and then left. I don't

834
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 5: know all the details, but she came back seeming to

835
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:11,800
Speaker 5: work things out. He didn't stop cheating, but Melinda shrugged

836
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:14,600
Speaker 5: and said this was still a better deal and as

837
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 5: long as he kept it from the house, she could cope. Recently,

838
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 5: there was some type of damage to George's house, yes,

839
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 5: and he needed people to come in and fix it,

840
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 5: but he hated the labor of searching for a reliable

841
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 5: contractor taking time away from his job and hobbies to

842
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 5: deal with them. In the paperwork, Melinda offered to do it,

843
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 5: and he didn't question it. Whatever she gave he signed

844
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:43,640
Speaker 5: in front of three third party witnesses. Melinda got George

845
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 5: to sign paperwork stating she was entitled to forty five

846
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 5: percent of his house. Now she's dumped him and is

847
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 5: demanding that George either sell the house or buy her out.

848
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:57,280
Speaker 5: George is trying to fight this, citing that he didn't

849
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 5: fully understand what he was agreeing to and has found

850
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 5: a law You're willing to take his case, but his

851
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:06,000
Speaker 5: fees are expensive. George and our mom think I should help,

852
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,799
Speaker 5: but I'm refusing. I don't see why I have to

853
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 5: shell out thousands to save another grown man from his

854
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 5: own lack of foresight, especially when there's a good chance

855
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:18,319
Speaker 5: he won't even win. I'm being called heartless and a

856
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 5: bad sister, so I have to ask, am I the

857
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:20,839
Speaker 5: a hole?

858
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 2: No?

859
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 5: Everyone else in your family sucks?

860
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 4: Yeah? Uh yeah, no, then you know who sucks the most, George.

861
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 5: George, and then also your mom who's like acting like

862
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,839
Speaker 5: he's like a like a little wounded dove.

863
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like, no, you don't understand.

864
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 5: Your brother is just such a slack jawed idiot. But

865
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,280
Speaker 5: he signed over half of his house to his wife

866
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 5: that he cheats on relentlessly and habitually.

867
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 4: Anyone no doves that sound like that, raise your hands.

868
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:53,120
Speaker 5: Also, I don't think it's illegal. I think uh, there's

869
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:54,360
Speaker 5: witnesses he signed it.

870
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like he'll be he'll be screwed.

871
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 5: You signed the contract and you didn't read it. You

872
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 5: shouldn't have signed it.

873
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's kind of you.

874
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 5: See how your name is there on the legally binding

875
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 5: contract you signed, and then it just becomes he should

876
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 5: see said It's like, well, she didn't tell me that

877
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 5: was the contract. It's like okay, but she says that

878
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 5: she did, and that you just didn't read it and

879
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 5: signed it.

880
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:17,880
Speaker 4: Yeah.

881
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 5: Comments Witty D. Says it not the aole. George had

882
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 5: it coming, stringing that woman along for years, manipulating her

883
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 5: by making her feel guilty over not being able to

884
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 5: have more children, having her pay half the mortgage for

885
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 5: his house, and then cheating on her. He made the bed,

886
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 5: let him lay in it. Donate crypto for pets, says

887
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 5: Burrow's help is where the paper plates always were. Live

888
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 5: Pressure fifty four thirty two says not the ahole. Your

889
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 5: brother is a cheater and a fool. Was Melinda a

890
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 5: bit underhanded? Arguably? Yeah? Does she deserve a share of

891
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 5: the house in return for all she paid into it,

892
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:02,280
Speaker 5: not to mention twelve years domestic and emotional labor, arguably

893
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 5: also yeah. But when it comes to whatever you should

894
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,840
Speaker 5: shell out for your brother's legal fees, the answer is

895
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:12,919
Speaker 5: an unequivocal no. He was a huge ahle and ridiculously

896
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:16,800
Speaker 5: careless with his most significant asset. That's not your responsibility

897
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 5: to fix. He's an adult. He needs to fix his

898
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 5: own mistake. Well, we've got a recap, quick recap. Brother

899
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 5: and mother are trying to guilt me into giving my

900
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 5: brother money to pay for an attorney in order to

901
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:29,840
Speaker 5: prevent his former long term living girlfriend from getting a

902
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 5: payout after he claims she tricked him into signing documents

903
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 5: making her a partial owner of his house. Okay, there's

904
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 5: been an update, and I have to say that, while

905
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 5: I still don't think my brother is an idiot, overall,

906
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,399
Speaker 5: he is a lazy and very arrogant booty man.

907
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 2: That whoa hold on? Just call him.

908
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 5: The other He's a booty man.

909
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 2: No, there's nothing wrong with me.

910
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 5: He's a booty man.

911
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,920
Speaker 3: Nothing wrong he's a dumb but man insults it on

912
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 3: behalf of all booty men. John is insulted at the

913
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,959
Speaker 3: how dare you use booty Man's name in vair?

914
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 4: Wholla?

915
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 2: Booty man sounds fine, dumb, but now that's mean, Like

916
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 2: that's true.

917
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:14,360
Speaker 5: Booty man all right. I also wanted to clarify a

918
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:18,080
Speaker 5: few things. Melinda and my brother were in a relationship

919
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 5: for twelve years, but only started living together for about

920
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 5: nine or ten years. Also, the documents were signed in

921
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,400
Speaker 5: the presence of a notary who asked my brother if

922
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 5: he understood the context of the documents, and he affirmed

923
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,879
Speaker 5: that he did. And the person who said my brother

924
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,720
Speaker 5: was house poor, you hit the nail on the hammer.

925
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 5: I hate that he spent the majority of his inheritance

926
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,839
Speaker 5: and savings on buying that house and it barely had

927
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 5: any furniture. When Melinda moved in, she paid to have

928
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:48,800
Speaker 5: it furnished, on top of splitting the utilities and paying

929
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 5: rent now onto the new stuff. When George's house needed fixing,

930
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 5: he let Melinda do the grunt work of finding reputable

931
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:01,240
Speaker 5: establishments because he didn't want to be bothered. Melinda presented

932
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,120
Speaker 5: him with up to three options and convinced him to

933
00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 5: go with Company A because they were offering seasonal discounts

934
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 5: for first time customers and or new owners for specific items.

935
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 5: Melinda's plan was to present it as if she recently

936
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 5: became the partial owner and had George email Company A

937
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 5: to see if they would accept that. Company A responded

938
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,479
Speaker 5: that if Melinda recently became part owner of the house,

939
00:42:24,480 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 5: they'd be willing to give a partial discount as a courtesy.

940
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 5: Company A was a small business with an excellent reputation

941
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 5: in terms of service, quality of work, and meeting deadlines,

942
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,640
Speaker 5: so my brother was all in. What he didn't realize

943
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,840
Speaker 5: was that Company A went by the honor system in

944
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 5: this case, but their website required proper documentation. Melinda told

945
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 5: George she'd come up with fake documents that he could

946
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 5: sign in front of a notary she knew through a

947
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 5: friend who was supposed to be in on the scam.

948
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:57,280
Speaker 5: The notary and witness were actually present, making the documents valid. Honestly,

949
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 5: if your partner strings you along for twelve years and

950
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 5: sheets on you habitually with no remorse, scam him out

951
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:10,360
Speaker 5: of his house that you paid half of. Yeah, she's like,

952
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 5: I can still cope by taking his house out from

953
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 5: under him Boom. Basically, George thought he and Melinda were

954
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:21,839
Speaker 5: scamming Company A, when in reality, Melinda was scamming him.

955
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 5: He thought the documents he was signing were fake, but

956
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 5: they were real, and that's why he had trouble finding

957
00:43:27,160 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 5: a lawyer. Wouldn't blame anyone who thought this was fake

958
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 5: because of how wild it is. So anyway, I'm not

959
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 5: giving him the money, but I will give him a

960
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:40,959
Speaker 5: list of realtters. There are some comments. Clean Permit thirty

961
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,080
Speaker 5: seven ninety one says, so his defense is quote, I

962
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 5: thought we were scamming another company, but really she was

963
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 5: scamming me your honor. Yeah, I think it's best to

964
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 5: stay out of this one. Opie said, almost pede myself

965
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 5: when I laughed. Lantena ninety eight, are you taking your

966
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 5: brother's word for how a legal paper situation came about?

967
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,839
Speaker 5: Or have you talked to his ex? I'll bet their

968
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 5: explanations are not even similar. Fiesta Fan seventy three says,

969
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 5: it sounds like your brother's having the day he deserves,

970
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 5: still not the a hole, and that is the end

971
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 5: of that story. Lage, gentlemen, well, good.

972
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 3: Old George, I refuse to share a room with my

973
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 3: step siblings, so.

974
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 5: I moved out irrational.

975
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 3: I'm a sixteen female. My parents split up before I

976
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 3: was born. Custody is I live with my dad most

977
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 3: of the time and my mom every other weekend, plus

978
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:35,839
Speaker 3: randomly staying with her if I want. Recently, my dad

979
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 3: got engaged to Hannah d and her kids are moving in.

980
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 3: Hannah's kids ages are nine, seven, two two two.

981
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 4: She is widowed, so they live with her full time.

982
00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:48,760
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from a secret anonymous twelve

983
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:50,319
Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

984
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddits. And I'm Angie,

985
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice goofy,

986
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 3: but we don't have all the answers. We're just gonna

987
00:44:58,680 --> 00:44:59,880
Speaker 3: guess what we would do in the situation.

988
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 4: But let us know what you would do in the comments.

989
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 3: So Opie says this made room arrangements a bit awkward

990
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,720
Speaker 3: since there's only three kids' bedrooms to go around. Dad

991
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 3: and Hannah talked it over last night without consulting anybody,

992
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 3: and Hannah came over this morning to announce with my

993
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:19,760
Speaker 3: dad what they decided. Apparently they want nine and seven

994
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 3: to each have their own rooms, and they want me

995
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 3: to share with the triplets because my room is significantly

996
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 3: bigger than the others, and quote I don't stay there

997
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:32,320
Speaker 3: full time. I said their plan was stupid. They wanted

998
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 3: me to share with three toddlers. They said they didn't

999
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 3: want me to move, but it was the biggest room,

1000
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 3: so other people should share. I said I didn't care

1001
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 3: if I switched rooms, because the more logical move would

1002
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,800
Speaker 3: have been the triplets in the big room in seven

1003
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,040
Speaker 3: and nine share and I get my own.

1004
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 4: I said I'd take the smallest one until I move out.

1005
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 3: They said it would be more work to move my

1006
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,000
Speaker 3: things to another room and their idea.

1007
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 4: Was more practical.

1008
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 3: Then they asked why I was so oppressed since I

1009
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 3: didn't even here full time. I said, not staying in

1010
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 3: the room four days a month was a sorry excuse.

1011
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,359
Speaker 4: To land me with a bunch of toddlers, and if.

1012
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,560
Speaker 3: They seriously planned on doing it to me, I'd make

1013
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 3: the custody arrangement change and I would stay with my mom.

1014
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,320
Speaker 3: For the most part, I know she doesn't mind, because

1015
00:46:15,360 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 3: both of them remind me that I could stay with

1016
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 3: her whenever I wanted. This made Hannah cry because she

1017
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 3: just wants her family to blend together nicely, and apparently

1018
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:24,920
Speaker 3: I was ruining her.

1019
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 5: Plant Hannah, teen year old girl to want a room

1020
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:33,640
Speaker 5: with three toddlers she doesn't know. Dude, Yeah, that's insane.

1021
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 5: You're insane because.

1022
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 3: It's like they're big enough to They're small enough to

1023
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 3: be in like you know, small beds, maybe a crib,

1024
00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 3: but like also big enough to move around and talk

1025
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 3: to ope throughout the night.

1026
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 5: They're old enough to scream.

1027
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:53,280
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, most importantly they are I don't like that.

1028
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 3: That's also just silly to expect, like, oh, I just

1029
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 3: want my family to blend together.

1030
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,319
Speaker 4: Why isn't it blending together? My family doesn't like my plan?

1031
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 5: Like, how that's that? I literally want to throw you

1032
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 5: in a blender, chop you up into little pieces, and

1033
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,120
Speaker 5: mix you with my three two year old then you'll

1034
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:12,320
Speaker 5: be blended.

1035
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:13,799
Speaker 4: A little far.

1036
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 2: No, but that's what.

1037
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 5: I just I mean that in the metaphorical sense that

1038
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:23,359
Speaker 5: they are completely taking over Op's sense of like independence

1039
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 5: or identity in her own space to move things around.

1040
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 4: It's like, Okay, then don't do it.

1041
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 5: I'll do it like calm down, put her in the

1042
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 5: food process down.

1043
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 4: So this made dad mad at me, and I'm not

1044
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:38,000
Speaker 4: allowed to talk to Hannah until she forgives me.

1045
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,360
Speaker 3: I didn't know this meant so much to them, but

1046
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,000
Speaker 3: I'm still saying that I I'll stay with my mom

1047
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 3: longer if I have to share with toddlers.

1048
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:47,800
Speaker 4: But my dad made me feel a bit a bit guilty.

1049
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 4: So am I the A hole?

1050
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 3: And we do have some comments, but pretty sure we

1051
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:51,879
Speaker 3: have our.

1052
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:52,439
Speaker 4: Answer, right?

1053
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:54,839
Speaker 3: We all know the answer to this common number One

1054
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,600
Speaker 3: cake eating rabbit says, not the a hole.

1055
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 4: They know what they are doing to you. They the

1056
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 4: acts like they don't you.

1057
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 3: Sharing with the triplets makes you care for them at

1058
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:06,640
Speaker 3: night and as soon as their bedtime begins.

1059
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,239
Speaker 4: It is not practical at all.

1060
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 3: Where should you hang out between there and your bedtime

1061
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 3: living room with them? I would assume Hannah wants you

1062
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:16,520
Speaker 3: to leave, and your dad either wants you to babysit

1063
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,200
Speaker 3: or simply doesn't actually care if you are there, but

1064
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 3: they want you to be the bad guy.

1065
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:23,839
Speaker 4: Peivaitar says, this is what I think too.

1066
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 3: Hannah wants OPI to move out, so she insists that

1067
00:48:26,719 --> 00:48:29,760
Speaker 3: OPI share her room with three toddlers, her fake crying

1068
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,720
Speaker 3: and hurt feelings and tactics to manipulate OPI's father.

1069
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 4: And yeah, I totally agree with these comments.

1070
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 3: They really just like want OPI to take care of

1071
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 3: that didn't matter there.

1072
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,799
Speaker 5: It's but it's crazy to be like I just want

1073
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 5: my family to blend together. It's like, no, you don't, No.

1074
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,720
Speaker 4: You don't, because it's like, what's gonna happen?

1075
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 3: Like are you just going to go into the teenager's

1076
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 3: room multiple times during night to like check on the

1077
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,680
Speaker 3: kids or like you know, come to them when they

1078
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 3: have a nightmare or something and they start crying or

1079
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 3: right came up in the right and early because that's

1080
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 3: what kids do. It's like, no, you're going to have

1081
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,879
Speaker 3: the sixteen year old take care of them.

1082
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 5: I'm trying to call that practical. Is literally insane, And

1083
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 5: I feel bad because I feel like Opie was probably

1084
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 5: gassed a little bit to feel like, oh, well, maybe

1085
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 5: is it practical? Like what, Yeah, No, it's not in

1086
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:21,360
Speaker 5: any way. It's practical in that you don't have to

1087
00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:23,400
Speaker 5: watch your kids anymore. Op has to do it.

1088
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:27,520
Speaker 3: I agree, Okay, but we do have an update, So

1089
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 3: I'm at my mom's house at least for the weekend

1090
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 3: while the adults try to work things out. But my

1091
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 3: mom said I was welcome to live with her full

1092
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 3: time and if I really wanted, we could change the

1093
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 3: custody agreement. Also, thank you for all the replies. I

1094
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 3: really wasn't expecting this to blow up as much as

1095
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 3: it did. I will and now we have an update

1096
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,960
Speaker 3: in a month to everyone talked, But Dad and Hannah

1097
00:49:47,960 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 3: are staying with their decision and I've decided to move

1098
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 3: to my mom's long term and we're gonna switch the

1099
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 3: custody around, so I'll only see my dad every other

1100
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,440
Speaker 3: weekend and I'm just going to sleep on the couch

1101
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 3: when i'm there. Obviously, nothing is set yet, but that's

1102
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:04,640
Speaker 3: what we're gonna do. And thanks everyone for being so nice.

1103
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 4: Ha ha.

1104
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 3: There is a little bit more to this story, and

1105
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 3: this one is from We have an update from a

1106
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:11,320
Speaker 3: year and three months later.

1107
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 5: I really like Kim Fine's comment. I don't know why,

1108
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 5: but I don't like that the oldest is nine, which

1109
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 5: is the square root of three, which is the number

1110
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,759
Speaker 5: of two year olds, and two is the age gap

1111
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 5: between seven and nine. You're like Jim Carrey from the

1112
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:28,879
Speaker 5: number twenty three, which is a movie? Has anyone here

1113
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 5: not be a movie? Is there any one year besides me?

1114
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:32,960
Speaker 2: That movie?

1115
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,480
Speaker 3: And Kim Fine says I had two under two and

1116
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:38,480
Speaker 3: I'd take a low grit tampon over three under two.

1117
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:40,719
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, that is hilarious.

1118
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 5: That's crazy.

1119
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 4: That is crazy.

1120
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 5: I didn't need to hear that. You didn't need to

1121
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:45,800
Speaker 5: say that. One.

1122
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,600
Speaker 3: We've gott an update one here, and three months later,

1123
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 3: I still get messages here. I just found this account again,

1124
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 3: ha ha, so I thought an update.

1125
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,840
Speaker 4: Whoever sees this. I still live with my mom and

1126
00:50:58,040 --> 00:50:58,680
Speaker 4: love it here.

1127
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 3: Hannah openly dislikes me, so I don't even stay for

1128
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 3: weekends anymore at my dad's house. We call sometimes, but

1129
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 3: it's what it is. I guess Hannah's kids are fine,

1130
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,520
Speaker 3: but I only see them on holidays. Also, Hannah's pregnant

1131
00:51:10,560 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 3: again and seven and nine now eight and ten are

1132
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 3: going to share a room, so I guess it wasn't

1133
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:17,160
Speaker 3: too much.

1134
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:19,279
Speaker 4: Work in the first place. She just hated me.

1135
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 5: Dang, that sucks. Charon Stone date partners that hate your children.

1136
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 5: That's wrack. That's really stupid in lamb and.

1137
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:29,520
Speaker 4: That's the end of the story. We're going on to

1138
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:30,080
Speaker 4: the next one.

1139
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:32,279
Speaker 5: Hey John Ogi, hoist here.

1140
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to this episode, but a quick

1141
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,279
Speaker 1: three minute break of ads from a sponsor's keeping the

1142
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:36,800
Speaker 1: show alive.

1143
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 5: I confronted my mother about decades of neglect and then

1144
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 5: she threatened to disappear.

1145
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 4: She's just like, yeah, you're right.

1146
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 5: My mom seventy four and I thirty eight. Male just

1147
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 5: had a long discussion that stemmed from years of resentment

1148
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:53,160
Speaker 5: that has built up over the years. Gotta love that

1149
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,800
Speaker 5: I am the youngest of four siblings and I was

1150
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 5: the only lucky one to have been given the privilege

1151
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 5: of moving to the US at a young age with

1152
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 5: my mom. My siblings have some resentment towards my mom

1153
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:08,280
Speaker 5: and me because they feel that I was given opportunities

1154
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:10,920
Speaker 5: that they weren't, but for the most part, they haven't

1155
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:13,720
Speaker 5: made it a big issue in the last ten years

1156
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:17,320
Speaker 5: or so. By the way, this comes from twish twenty twenty,

1157
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:19,200
Speaker 5: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

1158
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:23,839
Speaker 5: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota, Hi Angie,

1159
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 5: and we're here to give you good advice. Goofy, but

1160
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 5: we don't have all the answers really know what we

1161
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 5: would do, so if you would do something different, let

1162
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:34,839
Speaker 5: us know in the comments. Yea silly little goose, and

1163
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:38,600
Speaker 5: op says. My mom became a widow back in twenty

1164
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 5: eighteen upon her husband's passing. He didn't leave her anything.

1165
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 5: He was also my mom's right hand man, and unfortunately

1166
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 5: she became dependent on him to perform every task. In

1167
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 5: her thirty years in the US, she never learned how

1168
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 5: to drive or speak the language. This caused my mom

1169
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,759
Speaker 5: to essentially fend for herself when she had never had

1170
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 5: the need to. She never had the chance to properly

1171
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 5: mourn him, and to this day she still talks about him.

1172
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 5: It's worth mentioning that when my mom and her then

1173
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 5: boyfriend were dating, my mom used to prefer him over me.

1174
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 5: She would leave me home alone at night to go

1175
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,280
Speaker 5: and spend the night at his house. The little time

1176
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:23,000
Speaker 5: that she had throughout the weekdays to spend with me

1177
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 5: was monopolized by him coming over to our house. Was

1178
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,719
Speaker 5: only ten years old when this was happening, and I

1179
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 5: hated the situation so much that I asked her to

1180
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 5: send me back home to live with my sister. Something

1181
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:39,880
Speaker 5: that she did for two and a half years. My

1182
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:43,719
Speaker 5: mom and I have had a complex relationship, with me

1183
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 5: being the only one living in the US. I've always

1184
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:51,520
Speaker 5: looked out for I've helped her in many ways, especially economically.

1185
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:56,000
Speaker 5: In fact, when her husband passed away, I bought her

1186
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 5: a mobile home for her to live in. While she

1187
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 5: was responsible for paying for her space and utilities. She's

1188
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 5: never had to pay a cell phone bill, and anything

1189
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 5: that she's ever wanted I've made happen for her. My

1190
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:12,879
Speaker 5: mom has always had a weird jealousy when I've been

1191
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:17,120
Speaker 5: married or dated. After my marriage ended, in her eyes,

1192
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 5: no one will ever be good enough for me. She's

1193
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 5: made it very clear to me and has made passive,

1194
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:26,240
Speaker 5: aggressive comments and actions with my exes during and after

1195
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:30,400
Speaker 5: my relationships. I have three children from those relationships, so

1196
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,800
Speaker 5: I still stay in touch with my exes. Over the

1197
00:54:33,920 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 5: last few years, my mom has become extremely negative, to

1198
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 5: the point where it's exhausting to have a conversation with

1199
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:45,239
Speaker 5: her because she always finds the negative in any situation.

1200
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,720
Speaker 5: I've tried to make her understand that interacting with someone

1201
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 5: like that can be exhausting, but she justifies it by

1202
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:57,200
Speaker 5: stating that She's seventy four years old, and she shouldn't

1203
00:54:57,200 --> 00:54:59,839
Speaker 5: have to watch her words. She also tends to get

1204
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 5: in into arguments with family members, including my siblings and

1205
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 5: her own sisters. She always tends to gossip about others,

1206
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 5: something that makes me really upset and something that I

1207
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,400
Speaker 5: don't like to participate in. I've told her that the

1208
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 5: less I know about people's lives, the better it is

1209
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:20,280
Speaker 5: for me. Yet she still tries to tell me about

1210
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,479
Speaker 5: what others have been up to. In the last couple

1211
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 5: of years, I've found that she has tried pinning my

1212
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 5: siblings against each other. Whenever she gets into an argument

1213
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 5: with one of them, she goes to the next sibling

1214
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:36,400
Speaker 5: and tells them about the awful things that were done

1215
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 5: and said to her. I've told my mom very clearly

1216
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:44,080
Speaker 5: she needs to stop this behavior because it's causing my siblings' issues.

1217
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 5: She has also tried to get me involved, but I've

1218
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,400
Speaker 5: learned through the years how she operates, and now I

1219
00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:56,759
Speaker 5: just ignore her, something that she absolutely hates. Last year,

1220
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:00,800
Speaker 5: I was diagnosed with a rare type of tumor. Initially,

1221
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 5: it was diagnosed as liver cancer. Before I had a

1222
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 5: chance to digest it, she ended up communicating it to

1223
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:10,879
Speaker 5: my entire family. I wasn't ready to announce it yet

1224
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 5: because I hadn't processed it and was in shock. However,

1225
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,799
Speaker 5: because of her actions, I had to confirm that I

1226
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 5: was diagnosed with cancer and get all that attention, something

1227
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 5: I truly hated. Since then, my diagnosis has been updated

1228
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 5: to a tumor that, with the proper medical care, will

1229
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 5: allow me to live a full life. I've never really

1230
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 5: had a chance to live by myself in my adult

1231
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:36,839
Speaker 5: life because I've either been married or in a relationship,

1232
00:56:36,880 --> 00:56:39,840
Speaker 5: and whenever I've been single, she immediately wants to be

1233
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:42,480
Speaker 5: with me. I've allowed her to do so because she

1234
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 5: doesn't have anyone else left in the US. I'm currently

1235
00:56:45,560 --> 00:56:47,520
Speaker 5: single and she has been in my house on and

1236
00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:51,319
Speaker 5: off for three years. Ever since my diagnosis, she has

1237
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,560
Speaker 5: been here more often to help me with my kids,

1238
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,400
Speaker 5: but having her around has taken a huge toll on

1239
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 5: my mental health. I look for ways to not be

1240
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:02,839
Speaker 5: around my mom, and I hate this. I love my mom,

1241
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 5: but I hate what she has become. I've asked her

1242
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,919
Speaker 5: numerous times to seek counseling to process everything that she's

1243
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:13,320
Speaker 5: holding onto, but she has refused. Last night, I spoke

1244
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:16,120
Speaker 5: with my siblings on a conference call to let them

1245
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 5: know that my mom needs to move back home as

1246
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 5: I'm unable to keep her around. They all agree that

1247
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 5: I've done more than I perhaps should have. However, during

1248
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 5: the call, my brother began bashing my other brother and

1249
00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 5: sister because they've been taking mom's money, something that I

1250
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 5: for a fact know that my mom has offered.

1251
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 4: We got a liar on our hands.

1252
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:42,480
Speaker 5: It's less about taking the money and more like receiving

1253
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 5: the money.

1254
00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:45,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly accepting.

1255
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:50,560
Speaker 5: It generous donations from the bank of my mom. Today,

1256
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:54,360
Speaker 5: I confronted my mom about this. I told her that

1257
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 5: my siblings are getting into arguments because of her actions.

1258
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,919
Speaker 5: I also told her that while I appreciate the fact

1259
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 5: that she wants to care for me now, I really

1260
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 5: needed her when I was a child, and I also

1261
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 5: have resentment for her having chosen her boyfriend or husband

1262
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 5: over me. She didn't like this and immediately attacked me,

1263
00:58:12,360 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 5: saying that she also has a lot of resentment towards me. However,

1264
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,160
Speaker 5: when I asked her about what it was, she couldn't

1265
00:58:18,200 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 5: come up with anything. I ultimately told her that I

1266
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 5: need some space and that I want to be able

1267
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:28,440
Speaker 5: to miss her, something I've never had the chance to do.

1268
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:31,360
Speaker 5: After so many years of held up resentment, I was

1269
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 5: able to get it all out in the open. My

1270
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:37,439
Speaker 5: mom cried and stated that I was unfair to her

1271
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:41,120
Speaker 5: and that she shouldn't have invested so much in me

1272
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 5: since at the end of the day, I'm paying her

1273
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 5: this way. Yeah, neglecting your child, that's their fault.

1274
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, what also, like, what way do you need to

1275
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:59,200
Speaker 3: pay your mom? Like, what's not This isn't There needs

1276
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 3: to be no payment for anything. This shouldn't be accepted

1277
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 3: as a payment for something like this isn't That doesn't

1278
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 3: make any sense.

1279
00:59:06,040 --> 00:59:09,080
Speaker 5: Literally, bought her place to live, yeah, bought her that

1280
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 5: mobile home. Yeah, she can't. She can't do anything for

1281
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:16,440
Speaker 5: herself in the States. She doesn't know how to speak

1282
00:59:16,640 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 5: or I guess read English, so she can't fill out

1283
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,240
Speaker 5: her own forms, she can't set up her own doctor's appointments.

1284
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:22,600
Speaker 5: She can't do it. And then she can do it with,

1285
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:27,320
Speaker 5: you know, in her native language, but we are not

1286
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 5: sure what that is.

1287
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 3: Like the least she can do for you is just

1288
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 3: to like give give your some space.

1289
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:36,800
Speaker 5: Doesn't know how to drive. I got that sorry, doesn't

1290
00:59:36,840 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 5: know how to drive, and now she's gonna be.

1291
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 2: Like, I regret you could you help me so much?

1292
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

1293
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:46,320
Speaker 5: She also said that I shouldn't have told her that

1294
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 5: everything is her fault. I did tell her that the

1295
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 5: issues that she had caused with my siblings were entirely

1296
00:59:53,000 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 5: her fault, because it's true I disagree with that anything

1297
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 5: like the root of the action might be with her,

1298
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:03,160
Speaker 5: but it's ultimately not her fault that her children can't

1299
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:07,640
Speaker 5: compute like why you know, or getting into their own

1300
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:10,400
Speaker 5: argument you're taking mom's money. It's like, no, mom is

1301
01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:13,520
Speaker 5: offering us this money. Yeah, yeah, it doesn't sound like she.

1302
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 5: She's like, no, Mom, you can't help anyone but me, right.

1303
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 5: She then threatened with the fact that she would move

1304
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:23,479
Speaker 5: back home and that she didn't want to know any

1305
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 5: more about my siblings or me, and that she would

1306
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:27,720
Speaker 5: just disappear and that we would never be able to

1307
01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 5: find her or see her again. I felt relieved being

1308
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:32,440
Speaker 5: able to tell her about some of the things that

1309
01:00:32,440 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 5: I've been holding on too for years. It was like

1310
01:00:34,560 --> 01:00:37,760
Speaker 5: a weight off my shoulders. However, now I'm also concerned

1311
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 5: because of the stuff she said about disappearing. So, with

1312
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,240
Speaker 5: all of this said, I'm in the ale for having

1313
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:47,000
Speaker 5: brought it up. Yeah, I agree. I don't think so.

1314
01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:50,560
Speaker 5: I don't think so, buddy. Yeah maybe, I mean i'd

1315
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:54,840
Speaker 5: be like, Okay, you can disappear, you can try. I

1316
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,920
Speaker 5: guarantee you're going to reach out to me for something.

1317
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:00,320
Speaker 5: But I mean, at the end of the day, if

1318
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:02,920
Speaker 5: she is entirely helpless living here and can't do anything

1319
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:05,160
Speaker 5: on her own, maybe she does need to move back.

1320
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:07,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know she can.

1321
01:01:08,040 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 5: She's either moved back or carve out a clear path

1322
01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 5: towards some level of independence where you don't have to

1323
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 5: feel entirely responsible for her whole existence.

1324
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 3: Right, because it's normal for like kids to help out

1325
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 3: the parents, but she's just so reliant on that, especially

1326
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:25,680
Speaker 3: like if she was already like that with her husband

1327
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:29,480
Speaker 3: before he passed away. It's like, well, yeah, come on, girl, Like,

1328
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:33,520
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, but you gotta you know, we can't do

1329
01:01:33,640 --> 01:01:34,280
Speaker 3: everything for you.

1330
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:37,680
Speaker 5: We gotta ope. Uh oh, we have some comments here,

1331
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 5: let's get into it. Comment one asks for info. Even

1332
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 5: though this is a long post, it's missing critical details.

1333
01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 5: Why did your mom abandon her three other children in

1334
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 5: a foreign country? Are there multiple husbands here. You refer

1335
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:55,400
Speaker 5: to your mom's partner as her husband, not my father.

1336
01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:00,000
Speaker 5: How is it possible that her husband could pass away

1337
01:02:00,040 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 5: and leave her penniless? Sounds like a lawyer should be consulted.

1338
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 5: You claim she had no money, yet your siblings are

1339
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:09,160
Speaker 5: fighting over her giving money to some and not others.

1340
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 5: How is that possible if she had no resources. Everyone

1341
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 5: sounds like an a hole here to some extent. But

1342
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 5: if you've been caregiving for your mother, it sounds fair

1343
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:21,400
Speaker 5: that the other siblings would help, except she abandoned them

1344
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 5: and went to a foreign country. So if it was

1345
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:26,080
Speaker 5: me and my mom had abandoned me, I'd tell her

1346
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,640
Speaker 5: she needs to stick to relying on her golden child.

1347
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:34,920
Speaker 5: Youngest son Op says, Ah, they were not abandoned. My

1348
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:37,560
Speaker 5: siblings are older than I am. When my mom and

1349
01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 5: I left, they were already married and in their twenties

1350
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:45,000
Speaker 5: with children. I was nine. Yes, my mom was married

1351
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:48,040
Speaker 5: to her first husband, which resulted in my three siblings.

1352
01:02:48,280 --> 01:02:51,400
Speaker 5: My mom divorced, and fifteen years later I was born

1353
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:55,320
Speaker 5: from my mom's second relationship. My parents were never married.

1354
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:57,720
Speaker 5: When she moved to the US, she met this guy

1355
01:02:57,800 --> 01:03:01,320
Speaker 5: who would become her second husband. Her second husband never

1356
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 5: saved up any money to leave behind. He didn't even

1357
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:08,000
Speaker 5: have life insurance to set her up. The only thing

1358
01:03:08,200 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 5: that he left for my mom was the Social Security

1359
01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:15,360
Speaker 5: survivors benefits, which is her only income now that she's retired. Also,

1360
01:03:15,480 --> 01:03:18,720
Speaker 5: when she sold the mobile home that I bought for her,

1361
01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:22,040
Speaker 5: she ended up with about fifty thousand inequity which went

1362
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 5: straight to her. Yes, she has helped two of them.

1363
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 5: My oldest brother had an accident a few years ago

1364
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 5: and we paid, Yes myself included about twenty thousand dollars

1365
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 5: in medical care. My sister has also benefited by asking

1366
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:41,560
Speaker 5: for money for regular expenses, while my second brother hasn't

1367
01:03:41,600 --> 01:03:44,720
Speaker 5: personally asked her for anything. Every time that my mom

1368
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:47,680
Speaker 5: goes back home, she opens up the wallet and buys

1369
01:03:47,720 --> 01:03:50,480
Speaker 5: them all sorts of things, including taking them out to

1370
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:54,720
Speaker 5: eat or on trips. Therefore, the conflict of them believing

1371
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:58,439
Speaker 5: that there's an imbalance comment to says, I don't think

1372
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:00,920
Speaker 5: you were wrong at all, said your piece, and it

1373
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 5: needed to be said. Sometimes parents don't realize how much

1374
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:08,760
Speaker 5: damage they caused until you finally spell it out. The

1375
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:11,280
Speaker 5: sad part is they take it as an attack instead

1376
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 5: of as a chance to heal. But you sound like

1377
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:17,800
Speaker 5: you're finally putting yourself first, and that's not selfish, that's survival.