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Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast, Nizer, here's Nikki. Hello here, I

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Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's Nicki Glazer Podcast. Happy

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Speaker 1: New Year to everyone listening, and to uh Noah and Anya,

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Speaker 1: who are with me today. Hey guys, Happy New Year.

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Speaker 1: I've already seen you Anya in the New Year. Noah,

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Speaker 1: I didn't get to see you yet. And um, what

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Speaker 1: did you do for New Year's Noah? Oh gosh. So

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Speaker 1: we had a trip that ended up kind of being

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Speaker 1: a dud. We went to great on Instagram. I know,

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Speaker 1: well Instagram is everything. Yeah, it is god. You had

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Speaker 1: some great like Golden Hour shots okay, of like burritos

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Speaker 1: that I thought at we're not even vegan, like they're vegan.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, they were even better than I thought.

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Speaker 1: Yes to Americo, We're coming for you. When Nicky glazers

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Speaker 1: here on People America, she was on f Boy Island.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, I forget the impression of her

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Speaker 1: that Chrison did, but it was pretty good. To Mariska,

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Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, that's pretty good. Um, okay, so you

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Speaker 1: why was your little type of bus? So we were

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Speaker 1: going to go to a place called Truth or Consequences,

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Speaker 1: New Mexico, supposed to have like natural hot springs. It's

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Speaker 1: named after like an old timey TV show. I thought

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Speaker 1: I was going to be sounds like it was named

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Speaker 1: after her eighties movie. Yeah yeah, so um it just

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Speaker 1: and we went over Christmas and everything was closed. I

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Speaker 1: have I feel bad for people who live in rural

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Speaker 1: areas because there was nothing to do. It was just

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Speaker 1: we were in the air b in the airbnb, just

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Speaker 1: like we could have done this at home, just watching

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Speaker 1: TV and eating. Yes, yes, where there's I was kind

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Speaker 1: of thinking about like having nothing to do, like I

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Speaker 1: feel that way sometimes to where I'm like there's nothing

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Speaker 1: to do, but always your phone, you know, there's always

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Speaker 1: something going on there. I was listening to The Courting

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Speaker 1: Show this morning and um, Courtney was talking about how

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Speaker 1: her power was out and the TV was out in

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Speaker 1: the but do you have your phone? Nothing's ever really

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Speaker 1: that bad now as that's true. Yeah, it was Truth

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Speaker 1: and Consequences. Did they have good five g um? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because there was like no no civilization there, so nobody

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Speaker 1: else was on the internet. Are you and av the

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Speaker 1: kind of couples that can disappear into your phones and

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Speaker 1: kind of be okay with that? Or do you have

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Speaker 1: to like get out a board game or something like. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I was trying to do like a cleanse because

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Speaker 1: the holidays for me, in all honesty, are not good. Why.

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Speaker 1: It just it brings up a lot of like negative stuff,

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Speaker 1: like you know, because of my family that's dysfunctional, and

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Speaker 1: and also there's no work to distract you from it.

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Speaker 1: I have no work to distract me exactly, like my

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Speaker 1: my schedule is broken, and for an anxious person like

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Speaker 1: not to have a schedule, it just I'm just in

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Speaker 1: complete chaos. Yes, So I was trying to like not

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Speaker 1: be on Instagram. I like fell into like a place

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Speaker 1: where I started like looking through Instagram comparing myself. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and also everyone's killing it on the holidays on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: loving families, cute outfits like decor that you know, like Garland,

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Speaker 1: hung yummy baked goods, just effort people are putting in that.

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh God, what am I doing with my life? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: A lot of that. So you tried to purge yourself

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Speaker 1: of that. I tried to not look and then like

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Speaker 1: with the whole trip going bad, I just kind of

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Speaker 1: felt like a failure because I was the one who

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Speaker 1: it wasn't my suggestion, but I was the one who

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Speaker 1: booked it, but I didn't really do that much research. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you're not going to check like the store hours

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Speaker 1: of holiday hours of different places you wanted to go,

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Speaker 1: Like you're talking about restaurants were closed. Stores were closed. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there was nothing nothing to do. But was the hot

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Speaker 1: springs open? Where the hots We did end up going

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Speaker 1: to one and it was really nice, but everyone was there,

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Speaker 1: so it was like kind of gross to be done

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Speaker 1: that too, Like, oh, I'm sharing a tiny hot spring

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Speaker 1: with a huge family. It's a hot spring, just like

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Speaker 1: a hot tub, like a natural hot tub. Yeah, like

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Speaker 1: you're just sitting in rocks, Like what if it gets

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Speaker 1: too hot yet? Isn't it weird that it never gets

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Speaker 1: too hot for like how is it that human? I

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Speaker 1: don't know, like when whenever nature is giving us something

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Speaker 1: that like is I guess I'm saying is like why

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Speaker 1: isn't it Why isn't it too hot or like too cold?

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Speaker 1: You know, like how did we get lucky enough that

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Speaker 1: hot springs are just the right temperature that it's like

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Speaker 1: enjoyable for humans? Does that make any sense? Can someone

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Speaker 1: get back to us about how many humans have boiled. Well,

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Speaker 1: they definitely have in Yellowstone. There's like definitely ones where

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Speaker 1: you can like die for sure. Mother nature isn't super

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Speaker 1: conscious of us. I mean, I really do feel like

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Speaker 1: since watching the show Alone, which ONNYA and Matt got

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Speaker 1: me into, I guess I could survive longer than maybe

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Speaker 1: fifteen minutes longer. I do think I could set a snare.

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Speaker 1: I do think I could collect. I know what to

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Speaker 1: eat when you're starving, like moss off the rocks, and

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Speaker 1: like berries and ship I am so surprised you're into

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Speaker 1: this show me too. It's like it's not amazing because

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Speaker 1: I don't care if animals are hurt in the name

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Speaker 1: of like survival, and I don't care in the wild

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Speaker 1: and there lived full lives as little porcupines, which, by

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Speaker 1: the way, it's porkupine, pork cu pine. There's a you.

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Speaker 1: It's not porky pine. Everyone on the show it's porky pine.

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Speaker 1: It's cute, But that ain't how you say it. Um.

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Speaker 1: I think I've been saying it wrong. I say porcupine,

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Speaker 1: porcupine pine, but they say not so much, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I'm pining. That's like Caulie flower. Yes, It bugs me

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Speaker 1: so much, and it shouldn't. Who cares. Say whatever you want,

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't care. Who has so much body fat?

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Speaker 1: So much fat, and that's what you want in these animals.

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Speaker 1: All these people on the show Alone are looking for

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Speaker 1: is fat. And it's so the opposite of like watching

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Speaker 1: the Kardashians, where all they're trying to do is suck

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Speaker 1: it out of themselves and have everyone getting buckle fat

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Speaker 1: removal for Christmas. That's what everyone's asking for. Did everyone

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Speaker 1: get one that on the shirt? That's the thing that

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Speaker 1: everyone gets removed from their cheeks. Now it's the new

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Speaker 1: hot plastic surgery. It looks I mean, it does look

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Speaker 1: like you're thin. It makes it look like you're thinner

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Speaker 1: because it makes it look like you have sunken in

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Speaker 1: cheeks and you're starving. It looks like you're on alone.

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Speaker 1: The show about seventy two days in so I just

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Speaker 1: finished episode season seven of that show, and yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was a wild ride. I mean it is. It's made

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Speaker 1: me look at the world differently. It's made me it

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Speaker 1: just every the other day I cleaned a spaghetti squash

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Speaker 1: out and I had like scrape it out. You know,

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Speaker 1: you cut a spaghetti is washed and it's really hard

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Speaker 1: to cut those. And then you scrape it. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: you didn't see me prepare it. That was no preparing

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Speaker 1: it before it was cooked. When it's raw and you

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Speaker 1: like scrape it with a spoon. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I just felt like I had processed an animal that

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Speaker 1: I killed, Like I felt like so outdoorsy. I was

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Speaker 1: so proud of myself. These people, you don't know what

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Speaker 1: they get into. Man, Like they this one guy murdered

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Speaker 1: a muskoks with us a knife. He shot it with

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Speaker 1: his bow and then it was just injured and kind

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Speaker 1: of walking away, and then he went in and just

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Speaker 1: murdered it with a knife, just kept stabbing it. It

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Speaker 1: was crazy. I mean, none of this I can watch,

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Speaker 1: like those scenes or when they club a fish. They

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Speaker 1: pull a fish out and it's flopping around, then they

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Speaker 1: club it. Yeah, I close my eyes, I put my

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Speaker 1: hand up. I don't want to see that stuff. But

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Speaker 1: it doesn't bother me that it happens. I do think

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Speaker 1: about the muskox if it had babies to feed, and

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Speaker 1: I think about their starving babies, crying and waiting for

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Speaker 1: their mom to come back. Every time they catch a rabbit.

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Speaker 1: I just pictured the baby rabbits starving to death, and

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Speaker 1: that bums me out. But um, yeah, I mean hunting

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Speaker 1: in the name of survival I'm into. The other day,

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Speaker 1: I was walking down the street and I was on

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Speaker 1: my way to Walgreens because Chris had barred my car

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Speaker 1: because his car is broken. And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can just walk everywhere, and so I went to

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Speaker 1: Walgreens and I was walking by some bushes and it

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Speaker 1: was like almost getting It was like dark out, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just about to get dark. It was probably two

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Speaker 1: o'clock in the afternoon, because that's how fucking dark it

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Speaker 1: gets dark so fucking early. And I hear like over

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Speaker 1: and over and thank God my air. But you ever

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Speaker 1: like listening to music and then someone you like listen

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Speaker 1: to and you pull up Instagram and then the music

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Speaker 1: cuts out, and then it plays the Instagram video and

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Speaker 1: then you then you get off Instagram and you just

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Speaker 1: don't put the music back on, and then you're just

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Speaker 1: walking with nothing in your ears but your head owned

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Speaker 1: still in and you don't even notice it. Thank God,

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Speaker 1: That's what happened to me, because I could hear this

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Speaker 1: little were you were you, and so I like look

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Speaker 1: in the bush and then I see these eyes peering

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Speaker 1: back at me and it's a little porcupine. Now it's

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Speaker 1: a it's a cat. It's a black cat. And um,

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Speaker 1: it was just like couldn't stop me owing, like every second,

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Speaker 1: like it was me owing. It definitely was trying to

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Speaker 1: get my attention. And then I tried to like sit

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Speaker 1: down with it, and then people just kept driving by

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Speaker 1: and walking by, and was it looked like I was

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Speaker 1: trespassing because it was like on the lawn of this

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Speaker 1: kind of probably a dentist or something. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It was in like a building, and um, and it

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Speaker 1: just wouldn't stop me owing, but it wouldn't get close

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Speaker 1: to me because I was just like, come here. And

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Speaker 1: then I was kind of looking at it. It's belly

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Speaker 1: looked really big, and I'm like, this fucking things pregnant.

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Speaker 1: And it was sixty degrees out the sixty one degrees

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Speaker 1: outside at like five pm. This was when it was

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Speaker 1: in January, you know, this was January one. I couldn't

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Speaker 1: believe it. I'm so grateful that this cat wasn't in

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Speaker 1: the freezing cold, but I didn't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: So then I walked to Walgreens because I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to tell you cat, you won't come near me,

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Speaker 1: you keep me out in And then I it kept

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Speaker 1: like skitting away, but then it would like walk around me,

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Speaker 1: and I felt like it was trying to get around

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Speaker 1: me to go somewhere else. But then it would just

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Speaker 1: like kind of stay and watch me, and it just

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Speaker 1: like I knew it wanted love and wanted shelter and warmth,

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Speaker 1: but it also was so scared of it at the

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Speaker 1: same time. It's kind of the same vibe Luigi has

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Speaker 1: constantly of like once love so much, wants to be

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Speaker 1: a good boy, terrified of getting close to anyone, kind

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Speaker 1: of like we all are. And so then I walked

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Speaker 1: to Walgreens. The line for the prescription, you know, the

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Speaker 1: pharmacy was like too long. It was like two people

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Speaker 1: or something, and I was like, funk this ship. And

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Speaker 1: so I got some cat food cans and I went

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Speaker 1: back and I opened the cans and the cat is

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Speaker 1: there still and wolfed down these two cans of food

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Speaker 1: and I just like talked to it and kind of

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Speaker 1: like I was able to touch it's a little like

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Speaker 1: face because I was holding the can and I was

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Speaker 1: able to get a little touch in and um, and

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Speaker 1: it got closer to me, but it wouldn't come anywhere,

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Speaker 1: like like it wouldn't let me pick it up. So

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Speaker 1: it wolfed down these cans of food, so fucking hungry.

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Speaker 1: And then I just left because I don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do and I didn't have a car, and so

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Speaker 1: Chris went to my parents to go get like the

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Speaker 1: dog carrier that I had for Luigi that was there,

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Speaker 1: and he brought it over. But I didn't go back.

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Speaker 1: I didn't do it. I liked I was like yesterday business,

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Speaker 1: I felt like it might be the business would be open,

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Speaker 1: and then I'm just stalking around the bushes looking for

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Speaker 1: that cat. Also, I don't know what to do with

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Speaker 1: a cat. Also, it could scratch me and give me brabies.

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Speaker 1: I just like it was too much. But I thought

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Speaker 1: about that cat, and there was a part of me

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Speaker 1: that was like this cat needs me, like I need

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Speaker 1: to have a cat. And then I was like, you

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Speaker 1: can't have a fucking cat. I don't. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It was just a lot of hate. When I want

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Speaker 1: to keep my headphones up from now on because I

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Speaker 1: don't want to see injured animals and have to rescue them.

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Speaker 1: Keep the volume. Yeah, I'm gonna blast it up because

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Speaker 1: I don't want anything vulnerable trying to get into my

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Speaker 1: heart because it denial. I wrote to Noah being like,

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Speaker 1: what do I do? And she wrote her friend, it

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Speaker 1: just seems like too much work to go around. There

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Speaker 1: are too many straight cats in the world. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to get the cat off the street because I don't

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Speaker 1: wanted to murder birds. I'm really on the birds side

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Speaker 1: of things here, but I couldn't. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do. I just left it. You did the right thing,

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Speaker 1: and you could always It's not like you have a

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Speaker 1: ton of time either, but you do have a few

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Speaker 1: days off. You could if you find that cat again,

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Speaker 1: you could see if it comes in your carrier, and

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Speaker 1: then you can put a thing on your Instagram and

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Speaker 1: see if anyone wants to adopt it or call the

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Speaker 1: what's it called society society so they can do something

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Speaker 1: humane with it. Yeah, I mean, it was just gonna

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Speaker 1: be ridiculous trying to get me to coax this cat

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Speaker 1: into the thing I would. It was just too much work.

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Speaker 1: This is where I give up on literally everything in

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Speaker 1: my life. Is when it approaches like being just a

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Speaker 1: little too much logistics, then I have to put out

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Speaker 1: a post and then people have to come by and

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Speaker 1: meet it, and I have to meet them and talk

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Speaker 1: to them. Or maybe your part in all of this

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Speaker 1: was just to get her those two cans of food.

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Speaker 1: She was She was like, I got what I needed

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Speaker 1: from you. The dentist will be home tomorrow and he'll

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Speaker 1: get more of a bleeding heart for this cat and

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Speaker 1: and help it, because it was definitely loud and it

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Speaker 1: was on a busy enough sidewalk. Someone else, but this

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Speaker 1: is the bystander effect. Someone else will deal with it.

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Speaker 1: I did what I could. Um, does the cat have

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Speaker 1: a good personality and you might need someone else on

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Speaker 1: this show? What are you thinking? Yeah, you know it's

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Speaker 1: the Yeah, it was so cute, but it had like

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Speaker 1: a like an eye that was kind of weepy, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh god. It just made me realize

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Speaker 1: like if I got this cat, I would have to

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Speaker 1: take it to the vet. I can't do that. That's

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Speaker 1: what makes me go. I can't have kids. You have

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Speaker 1: to take them to the doctor. I can't even take

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Speaker 1: myself to the doctor. I had an appointment this morning,

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Speaker 1: and the woman asked, so, who's your O, B, G N,

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Speaker 1: And I go, I don't know, And she was like,

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Speaker 1: where is it that I go? I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know anything. My assistant made the appointment. I just

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Speaker 1: showed up for it. I don't remember their name. I

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Speaker 1: don't remember what building it wasn't I don't remember anything.

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Speaker 1: And um, I just I just really can't take care

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Speaker 1: of myself. No, that's not the conclusion. Dude. You're very busy,

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Speaker 1: and insurance changes all the time. Probably you don't have

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Speaker 1: like a regular GP. That's okay. Bonnie McFarlane helped me

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Speaker 1: feel better about this. She's like, I changed my insurance

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Speaker 1: every year. I never know who my doctor is, so

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Speaker 1: that makes me feel better. I've been seeing this woman

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Speaker 1: for a while. I still can't remember. I do remember

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Speaker 1: what was her assistance name. It was like Tony or something.

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Speaker 1: That stayed in the room. I do remember. I remember him,

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Speaker 1: because now allans like they have to let someone stay

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Speaker 1: in the room with you because we don't trust any

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Speaker 1: of them. Which, yeah, it's like a gang bang. All

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, You're like, oh, is this supposed to

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Speaker 1: make me feel more comfortable? I think I think I

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Speaker 1: raised a suspicion with any doctor who's an obi wan.

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Speaker 1: That's a man. I can't do it. I just I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I went to the remember the one we went to Anya.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, he was nice. I like he was nice,

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Speaker 1: but also did did the same thing that I hear

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Speaker 1: articles about about not addressing women's pain. I got an

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Speaker 1: i u D put in and it was or no,

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Speaker 1: I gotta pulled coscope wherever they like, scrape your poscopy. Yeah, culposcope.

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Speaker 1: It was the most painful thing. And the insertion of

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Speaker 1: my i U D which they could not get out

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Speaker 1: so they did like yank getting ripped out like tissue.

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Speaker 1: It was so on. I mean, I don't even have

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Speaker 1: to say how painful it was because I blacked out

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Speaker 1: from the pain. I literally passed out from the pain.

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Speaker 1: So that's and they said it would be a little pressure.

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Speaker 1: What was that guy? Oh yeah he was nice. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just now that I'm learning so much about predatory behavior,

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Speaker 1: we have to understand that these people go into these

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Speaker 1: professions because that's what they are. Like, there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of people that just do it for if you can

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Speaker 1: prove to me that your mom died of uterine cancer

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Speaker 1: or something, and that's why you want to go into it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I believe you. But other than that, why would you

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Speaker 1: choose the pussy? Why as a male doctor to help

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Speaker 1: women deliver baby? Why do something else? Get out of there?

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Speaker 1: Then be then be a pediatrician. But even that, I'd go,

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Speaker 1: what what you need to be touching little kids? I'm

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Speaker 1: just suspicious of all of it. You're not saying all

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Speaker 1: of them are? Yeah, I am. Actually unless you approved

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Speaker 1: to me that you I want to if you're an

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Speaker 1: ob gyn and you're a man, write to me why

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Speaker 1: why if it isn't Because unless it's a reason, like

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Speaker 1: I had a woman in my life who suffered this thing,

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Speaker 1: and I want to like get in there because in

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Speaker 1: medical school you get to choose what you do. Many

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Speaker 1: female eurologists are there too. I would like to know

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Speaker 1: the percentage of eurologists that are women. I'm not you

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Speaker 1: know what, there's no I'm not raising an eyebrow out them.

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Speaker 1: They do it, but I'm just curious why they get

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Speaker 1: into it. The money, I don't know that. The dick

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00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:56,240
Speaker 1: you got into comedy, Yeah, the dick and money, I

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00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,560
Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, that is interesting. Why does anyone get

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Speaker 1: into anything. I don't to be like this is the size?

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Speaker 1: Huh is this is are you fully grown? But there

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00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,119
Speaker 1: they have to people that O g y n is

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Speaker 1: definitely have to have a reason. It's just because you

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00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:16,679
Speaker 1: could choose anything, right. It is weird that from a

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00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 1: young age I remember some subconsciously being like, well I

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Speaker 1: got to choose a man O B g y n.

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Speaker 1: Why why did I think that? Is it? The patriarchally? Yeah? Wait,

348
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,119
Speaker 1: my first O g y n was a man. I

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Speaker 1: haven't even had a woman until recently. I was like,

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Speaker 1: probably post me too. I was like, no, I'm getting

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Speaker 1: a woman. Why why have I always gone to mand

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Speaker 1: like you guys know better than we do, because it's

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Speaker 1: an old riddle of like the doctor's like and something

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Speaker 1: about the doctor's son is dead, and then who's the

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Speaker 1: and and it makes it pre you always presupposed that

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Speaker 1: a doctor is a man. So maybe that's why that

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00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 1: we just think that never gone small man? Never ever?

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Speaker 1: Well a gynecologist, yeah, never. I don't know why anyone

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00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:08,840
Speaker 1: would and I did too when it's just and ever

360
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,360
Speaker 1: since then, I haven't because it just but why would

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Speaker 1: I think that's and I'm sure people are out there

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00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,040
Speaker 1: like my dad's a no, would you and it's fine,

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00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:17,760
Speaker 1: and it's like I get it. Maybe you do want

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Speaker 1: to deliver babies or whatever, but I'm just a little bit.

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Speaker 1: It would ruin the vagina for you. It would take

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Speaker 1: out it would be like every vagina you see. We

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00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,760
Speaker 1: would be like, oh, more work. You know. Let's say

368
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Speaker 1: you're not a creep. It would take the sexuality out

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Speaker 1: of vaginas maybe a little bit. So it would ruin

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Speaker 1: it either way. Either you're doing it because you like

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Speaker 1: vaginas too much, which is creepy, or you like vaginas

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Speaker 1: in a sexual way but you're not in a medical way,

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Speaker 1: but you see them so much medically it would ruin

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Speaker 1: it sexually. I'm completely questioning my whole life now and

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Speaker 1: having a little bit of an existential crisis about why

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00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 1: you had a mail without question me too. Well, that

377
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,159
Speaker 1: guy should question his existence and everyone who works for

378
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,399
Speaker 1: him should. I want to hear why men want to

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00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,880
Speaker 1: be oh b g y n's let me know if

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00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 1: you don't have any in your life, will be right

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00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:10,160
Speaker 1: back after this happy New Year. We're back. Um. Yeah.

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00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 1: So I went to get a consult today via Zoom

383
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: about getting my eggs frozen? Guys, what do you want

384
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,560
Speaker 1: to know? To ask me some questions about this thing?

385
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,359
Speaker 1: What do you what do you want to know about it?

386
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,520
Speaker 1: Because I've got some fucking answers for you, because it's bullshit.

387
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:29,439
Speaker 1: How long does the whole process take? Do you have

388
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:31,679
Speaker 1: to put a couple of months? Like it just takes like,

389
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,639
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of cycles or however many you

390
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 1: want to do. If the older you get, the more

391
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,000
Speaker 1: cycles you have to do, because you only get about

392
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 1: you know, if you're lucky, you get like twenty eggs

393
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 1: per session, but really you're probably when you're in your

394
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 1: like thirties, after thirty six, you're gonna get like ten

395
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,200
Speaker 1: if you're lucky. And then of those ten, the percentages

396
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: of those actually being fertilized and not having any diseases

397
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 1: is like one in ten, So you got to do

398
00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 1: at least two cycles to have any kind of like reassurance.

399
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,640
Speaker 1: I mean, these aren't the exact numbers, but it's not

400
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 1: looking good. It's ten thousand dollars. Insurance covers none of

401
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 1: it for me because they see any kind of egg

402
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 1: freezing or going to get infertility treatments as you being infertile,

403
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 1: they lock you in as infertile, So what's the fucking point? Yes,

404
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,359
Speaker 1: they go, So I am now in the system as infertile,

405
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:28,440
Speaker 1: so anything that I get done for me is totally

406
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,919
Speaker 1: and uh just like a fun little experiment that I'm

407
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 1: choosing to do. What since when is healthcare like the

408
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:40,120
Speaker 1: thing you're getting treated for becomes the thing that makes

409
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 1: it so you don't get to get treatment? Like why

410
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 1: is me being so they they're marking me down as infertile,

411
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 1: dead in the water, can't have kids because I'm going

412
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: because I even went for a consult. So so now

413
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:57,159
Speaker 1: I'm down in the system as infert but I'm going

414
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 1: to get treated for possible infertility. So isn't that a

415
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,359
Speaker 1: medical issue? Like I don't, I don't understand it. And

416
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,360
Speaker 1: then I'm talking to the doctor and she was so

417
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 1: freaking nice and cool and like she was like just

418
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,359
Speaker 1: call me MO. Like I'm like, okay, MO. So she's

419
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 1: so nice and just you know, down to earth, and

420
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,080
Speaker 1: I really liked her a lot, and she's answering all

421
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 1: the questions that I could have. I didn't really have

422
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 1: any questions because she kind of said it all, and

423
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Speaker 1: I was not in the I did woke up on

424
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 1: the wrong side of the bed today. I'm two days

425
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,120
Speaker 1: away from starting my period. I got a message from

426
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,680
Speaker 1: someone being like, I can't believe how many people say

427
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 1: so many things about you and stuff like, just someone

428
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,040
Speaker 1: telling me what other people are saying about me. Please,

429
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 1: for the love of fucking God, stop doing that. I

430
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,160
Speaker 1: know you're on my side, and I know you're telling

431
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,920
Speaker 1: me like it's hard to be you and I love

432
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 1: you so much. Why would they be saying mean things?

433
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 1: Please don't tell me what people are saying, even in

434
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 1: a very abstract way. It doesn't help. It only makes

435
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: me think of things that are I'm never going to

436
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: read it right. Whatever you want, people, I'm never going

437
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,159
Speaker 1: to read it ever ever. I mean, my d M

438
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 1: s are different. Tell it to my face. I dare you.

439
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: I dare you. You would never have a little good news.

440
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: Why would you write to someoneow, Why would you write

441
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: to a celebrity you like and tell them some bad news? Well,

442
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: because the person was trying to empathize and say I

443
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: could never they were trying to do. I get what

444
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 1: they were saying, like they were giving me what I

445
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: actually need. Sometimes is like someone saying like, I can't

446
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,280
Speaker 1: imagine what it would be like to have strangers pick

447
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: apart my life and think they know me so well.

448
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 1: That was that he was trying to give me empathy,

449
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,119
Speaker 1: but in doing that he had to tell me that

450
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,439
Speaker 1: people are picking apart my life and I don't need

451
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 1: to know that that might not be going to look

452
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 1: picking apart my life. It might not be that they're

453
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,120
Speaker 1: seeing bad things. It's just like, oh, I wonder if

454
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 1: you know Nikki and Chris are going to get engaged

455
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 1: or you know, it could just be like gossipy stuff

456
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: in that, you know. But then I wrote back and

457
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: I said I don't want to hear this or like

458
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 1: that's why I don't read it. And then he was like,

459
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,320
Speaker 1: it's not all bad. It's some lots of it is good.

460
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,960
Speaker 1: But you know some people, but even saying it's not

461
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 1: all bad means it is some of it is. Yes, yes,

462
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 1: I know. I just have to understand that they want

463
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: to be close to you, and it's a way of

464
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,119
Speaker 1: being like really close right now because I'm gonna tell

465
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: you some real ship, but I'm protecting and people do

466
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 1: feel like they're close to me and my d M S. Yes,

467
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 1: like I'm protecting you, I'm looking out for you. I

468
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: can't believe these people would say this about you. I've

469
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 1: been that person before, um, because I didn't know what

470
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 1: it's like to be told what you're not, what you're here.

471
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 1: I can't believe people say this about you. Can you

472
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 1: imagine just run this or your head listener that someone

473
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 1: said to you. I can't believe what people are saying

474
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 1: about you. It's you. I love you so much. They

475
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,159
Speaker 1: are crazy. Would that make you feel good? Would that

476
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 1: make you feel secure, like, oh, this person loves me.

477
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,880
Speaker 1: Of course it wouldn't no matter how many people love you.

478
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 1: If you find out a group of people are together

479
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 1: writing about you, and of course I know that they are,

480
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 1: and I signed up for it, And I'm sure you're

481
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,200
Speaker 1: going to write all all the people that write this

482
00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 1: bad stuff. You're going to write all the stuff. And

483
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,679
Speaker 1: she deserves it. She lets us in on her life.

484
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,360
Speaker 1: That's what we get to scrutinize it. You're a loser,

485
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 1: first of all. You're a huge loser who writes and

486
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,199
Speaker 1: like negative things about someone online. I'm not kidding you.

487
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 1: I've been in some dark places. I've never been in

488
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 1: a dark enough place where I write paragraphs of negativity

489
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: about someone I don't know. I really hope you get help.

490
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 1: You're a loser and you're I don't know, I'm not

491
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: always gonna be one, but it's not looking good. I

492
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 1: don't think that this is going to get through to you.

493
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 1: I have compassion for you. I really want you to

494
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 1: get better. But um, I'm never going to read what

495
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 1: you write. So if that's any consolation, and I dare you,

496
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 1: if you really think something about my life, I dare

497
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 1: you to d M me and have a personal I

498
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: would love it d d m me your concerns about

499
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,640
Speaker 1: my life or your thoughts about my life, because I'm

500
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 1: never going to read those message sports ever ever, because

501
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 1: I take care of myself, which you should take care

502
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 1: of yourself and do something good for yourself better or

503
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: go to better help dot com promo code Nicki Glazer, Yeah,

504
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 1: there's therapist standing by to help you with your um

505
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:14,960
Speaker 1: misplaced aggressions that celebrities. You do not know. She thinks

506
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,880
Speaker 1: she's a celebrity. She thinks she's so cool. She even

507
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 1: said celebrity, just that she thinks she's so famous. We

508
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 1: don't even give a fucking Depiggie Bay. Also, I already

509
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: know you're gonna get d MS clarifying this, so let

510
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: me can I say one thing? Yes, I think they've

511
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 1: me d MS clarifying please. We I know and Nicky

512
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 1: knows that probably a lot of those comments on Reddit

513
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,120
Speaker 1: are well meaning people who are like, I really care

514
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 1: about her, and here's what I hear, and I think

515
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 1: she's doing this and that. And because I care about her,

516
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: I'm writing this and it's some d M. You have

517
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,439
Speaker 1: every worry and you can actually help me you talking

518
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,360
Speaker 1: about it with other fans in a forum where you're

519
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 1: just trying, you're not actually helping anything. Um but and

520
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,960
Speaker 1: and also if you're worried about someone else and you're

521
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 1: like about the things going on in my life, I

522
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,120
Speaker 1: would I would guess I would almost guarantee that your

523
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 1: life there are similar things going on. And that's why

524
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: you can so clearly see them in my own life,

525
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,160
Speaker 1: because I know that whenever I do the same thing

526
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: which I have, I don't write about it. But I

527
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 1: definitely hate online and look at things and go and

528
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:27,160
Speaker 1: zoom in on them and have opinions about what people

529
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 1: are doing and how I think they're running their lives

530
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,199
Speaker 1: and how I think they should do things differently. And

531
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: it's always because I'm doing things that are nefarious that

532
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 1: I don't like about myself. So look back at your

533
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: own self and I'll do the same. So anyway, I

534
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 1: woke up on the wrong side of bed because of that. Literally,

535
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: that was the first thing I got when I'm in bed,

536
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 1: and I was just like, really sad. And then I

537
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,119
Speaker 1: had to jump on this zoom call about having my

538
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 1: eggs frozen, and she was like, so just tell me,

539
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,040
Speaker 1: like what brings you here? And I go, Okay, I

540
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 1: don't want kids at all. I am like I would

541
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 1: say I would there's a chance that I ever want

542
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 1: kids in my whole life. Don't want them now. I'm

543
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 1: doing this because of the patriarchy, because, um, I'm scared

544
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,679
Speaker 1: that I'm someday going to be with a man, whether

545
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: it's my boyfriend now or maybe he dumps me and

546
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 1: I end up with someone. And the only reason, the

547
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,679
Speaker 1: only way a man will ever love me is if

548
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 1: I'm able to give him his own child. That's why

549
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 1: I'm doing this. And then I smiled and we continue

550
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 1: the conversation. I go, that's the only reason, and I go,

551
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 1: I'm doing it for insurance in case some man down

552
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: the road wants to have his own baby, because it

553
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 1: seems to be more important to men than it is

554
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,880
Speaker 1: to me to not adopt. Men don't want someone else

555
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: to raise someone else's seed, and so that's why I'm

556
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 1: doing it. And then as soon as I said that,

557
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 1: I was like, why am I doing this? And then

558
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: I find out it's ten dollars. Honestly, I don't think

559
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 1: I can do it. I don't think I can do

560
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 1: this because it's so and first of all, you can't

561
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: travel at all. So yeah, so you go in for

562
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:00,680
Speaker 1: your console. You have to get a blood tests, and

563
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 1: you have to get um your follicles looked at in

564
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: your ovaries through an ultrasound. Then they just see what

565
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 1: they're working with. Then you go back in and they

566
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: order all the medicine. You have to put two thousand dollars.

567
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 1: This is just for two sessions of harvesting. And I

568
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: mean some women do like five okay. One is like

569
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: pretty worthless, two is like the bear men pretty much.

570
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 1: So it's ten thousand dollars. Two thousand dollars down to

571
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 1: for them to order all the medicines, and then you

572
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 1: go through a whole cycle. You like, you go in

573
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,679
Speaker 1: a bunch of times, though, but you have to be

574
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,960
Speaker 1: like ready to go at any time, Like you have

575
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,160
Speaker 1: to go in constantly to get checked and make sure

576
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 1: that okay, now is the time to pull the eggs. Now,

577
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 1: that is the time. So there's really no window for me,

578
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 1: I go, I'm never going to be in town fourteen

579
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 1: days straight in a row ever in the rest of

580
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 1: my life. To tell your kid, I'm telling like, well,

581
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: I could have if there were nannies that could pull

582
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: my eggs on the road, then that would be great

583
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: a surrogate for someone to harvest my eggs. So I

584
00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 1: might have to to like someplace in Chattanooga or wherever

585
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 1: the funk I'm closed. Yeah. The second well, uh, I

586
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: was gonna say, uh, you can't travel at all for

587
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 1: fourteen No, you can, but we'll have to go to

588
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: find a clinic there. And I said, the pictures and everything,

589
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: it's just a huge cu um. It's a procedure where

590
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: you have to go under. You have to be put

591
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 1: under athia with fent and al and something else, she said,

592
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 1: And then they pulled out and then you just there's

593
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 1: you know, a less than one percent chance of any

594
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:38,959
Speaker 1: kind of like negative things that could happen during the

595
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 1: egg pull. It's a very you know, low risk procedure.

596
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 1: And then you do it maybe back to back, like

597
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,280
Speaker 1: you might do it just right away the next the

598
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: next moment, you get on the birth control pill for

599
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: like ten days so that your egg's calm down, and

600
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: then they start producing like on a dime, like at

601
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: the right moment, so that they're But I mean, what

602
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 1: was most oppressing to me is just the age. Plumb it.

603
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 1: No one told me at thirty two your vagina becomes

604
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: Tucson Like I didn't. No one told me, I know,

605
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: you're at thirty two geriatric pregnancy, which now they're calling them, um,

606
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 1: what's it like a mature pregnancy. It's something they changed

607
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: the name from geriatric um. And then you know, there's

608
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 1: all the risk of like having kids with like there's

609
00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 1: a one in one percent chance your kids going to

610
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 1: have some kind of genetic disorder that is very visible

611
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 1: to the public and to you. You know. Um, But

612
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 1: I don't think I want to spend ten dollars on this.

613
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 1: I just i'd rather reason, Yes, that's a lot of

614
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 1: money that I you know, when I spend the amount

615
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: of money I like to spend it on stuff I

616
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: can use. This is just a bunch of It's a

617
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: half very important thing you could use. I don't think

618
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: it's important to me though, Like I hate to bring

619
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 1: this is going to be a whole Reddit thread at

620
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: some point for sure. I don't have a problem adopting

621
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 1: I have, so why am I doing this? I have

622
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: zero problem adopting. I don't do There's no part of

623
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: me that wants to needs my kid to look like

624
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: me or have my same like physical traits or mental traits.

625
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 1: If anything, please don't have my mental traits and a

626
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: lot of my physical traits I could leave on the

627
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: fucking drawing room table as well. Talking about legs, if

628
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 1: I have no problem, they probably wouldn't get my legs.

629
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: My child would probably be born without legs because I

630
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 1: decided to have a kid past the age of thirty four.

631
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 1: So it's like it'll probably just be born with like

632
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: a nose for legs or something like if that's a

633
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 1: great nose, the glazer nose, that's true. I'm just like,

634
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm feeling really discouraged with the whole thing.

635
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm going in for on Monday to do the ultrasound

636
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 1: in the blood work, but I don't think I'm gonna.

637
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: I might not even keep the appointment because I'm just

638
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 1: so discouraged. I just think this is all so just.

639
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: I just feel like the most feminist thing to do

640
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: would to be like it's it feels like when you

641
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 1: stop wearing makeup, you just give up and you just go,

642
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 1: you know what, instead of like trying to trick science

643
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: into like making more of me, I just have to

644
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:27,960
Speaker 1: accept what is instead of just fighting it constantly and

645
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: and and paying for all this thing that I some

646
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 1: women it's very important to them to have their own

647
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 1: kid and to be pregnant. It just isn't for me.

648
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 1: So what am I doing? I think I'm doing this

649
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 1: the same reason that people tell me to buy a

650
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 1: house or get married because everyone else does it. Well,

651
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 1: I just don't know that I really care. It's like

652
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: redoing my kitchen. I don't care. I'd rather just rent

653
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. I'll rent a kid. Does

654
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 1: that make sense? There's no there's no like right or

655
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: wrong approach to this. You know it's okay if you

656
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: don't want kids, And it's okay if you kind of

657
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: want them but not right now, or you're just not sure.

658
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 1: I think it's just like you don't know where you're

659
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,040
Speaker 1: going to be in a year from now, and your

660
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: perspective might change and you might say, you know what,

661
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: I had this opportunity, why didn't I take it? Just

662
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: look at as an opportunity that you you are able

663
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,400
Speaker 1: to take at this moment, and I think you should

664
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 1: follow through. I don't think feminism is giving up and

665
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: just accepting, like, don't accept push through it, because right

666
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 1: now you're just seeing it through like one lens and

667
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 1: you haven't found that other lens that gives you, like

668
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 1: the reason as to why you would want kids. Or

669
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: you say, you know what, I'm glad I have this

670
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 1: option on the side waiting for me, but it's not

671
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: for me, and that's okay. Yeah, And then you're only

672
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:47,480
Speaker 1: out ten grand? Would you make you make that in

673
00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 1: a meeting grade? If two meet and grades it's I know,

674
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: but I could do. But I care about that kind

675
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 1: of money, like I money would be a human child

676
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: of your own, So it's not like a gift card

677
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: at Sephora. It could be an option, and for you

678
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: look at as an opportunity, as an opportunity that's down

679
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: the road for you. Don't look at it as a child.

680
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,120
Speaker 1: Don't look at his ten grand you're investing in. In

681
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: a particular, felt waking up this morning was like I

682
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,240
Speaker 1: could not have a kid. With how much self hatred

683
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 1: I felt this morning. I don't know how women do it.

684
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 1: If you're someone out there with a small child, men too,

685
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 1: you know, single fathers or whatever, and you're out there

686
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 1: as a depressed person with children, how do you do it?

687
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 1: I mean, I struggle having a dog, the idea of

688
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 1: getting a cat, and like having to take care of that.

689
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: On days where I feel like this is so incomprehensible

690
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 1: to me, I just feel like I would yell at

691
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 1: my kid a lot today for something they didn't do,

692
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: because I would just be just you know, I just

693
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 1: feel like to minimize the damage I can do to

694
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: the world, it's to not have a kid. And and

695
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: that's okay for now. But also, you know, when I

696
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,760
Speaker 1: hear you talk about it, you're saying you're you're talking

697
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 1: about how you would have, how you would handle in

698
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 1: what it would be like for you. But you know,

699
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:07,479
Speaker 1: you would hope that there's another person in that equation. Yeah,

700
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: my nanny's would probably another personal wellness because I would

701
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: pay them well and um, we would watch a lot

702
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 1: of Bravo TV together and enjoy that and have that

703
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 1: kind of relationship. Yeah, okay, so you're right, that's what

704
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 1: she said to me. The doctor was like, listen, I

705
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 1: definitely didn't want kids. I sat my parents down and

706
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 1: told them I didn't want kids, and now I have three, Like,

707
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 1: and you know, I got to a point where I

708
00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: was like, anyone anything, I would give my right arm

709
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 1: for a kid. I'm like, did your kid have a

710
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 1: right arm? Um? So it's just I get that, like

711
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 1: things can change on a dime, and they do for me.

712
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: I don't think though, this kid thing has ever wavered

713
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 1: from the time I ever was a teen till now.

714
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:58,840
Speaker 1: Ever wanted to adopt. Like you, to me, this issue

715
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: was like, it's more about do you want a kid

716
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 1: or not? And then the secondary issue is do I

717
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: freeze my eggs or not? Because it sounds like you

718
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 1: don't mind, like if you decide to have a child,

719
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:11,439
Speaker 1: you Nikki Glazer all on her own, would not mind

720
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 1: it all. Adopting and doesn't even really care about having

721
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: her own biology. I don't. I'm just doing this for men.

722
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,879
Speaker 1: So then I don't have a baby with me because

723
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 1: I don't feel like because I want to stay with

724
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,439
Speaker 1: the man that I someday i'm with who definitely wants

725
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 1: a kid. But he, the man that you're currently with,

726
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,120
Speaker 1: doesn't have a problem with adopting correct, No, but what

727
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: if we don't make it, and then and then the

728
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: only guy that will date me is someone who's like,

729
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 1: I gotta have my own kid. I've met so many

730
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: men that are like, yeah, I would only would want

731
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:49,800
Speaker 1: to like that. It's literally every man. Okay, I'm not joking.

732
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,480
Speaker 1: The name zac Efron is like, I'm with you now,

733
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:56,959
Speaker 1: it's I need to have my own child biologically. Yeah.

734
00:36:57,840 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: So and then you're like, cool, I froze my eggs

735
00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:03,839
Speaker 1: and then you'll do it, yes, because if the man

736
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 1: wants kids that bad, like, they're going to help out

737
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:10,280
Speaker 1: a lot. I think money needs to take her naps.

738
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 1: And my hormones are gonna be even more of a

739
00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:17,240
Speaker 1: fucking grab bag gamble every day when I get older,

740
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: because this there. I was watching Fleabag the other day

741
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,439
Speaker 1: and you remember the scene with that older woman that's

742
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: like and then she's like being a woman's awful. It's

743
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: too terrible. And then you reach menopause and it's amazing

744
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: and you're like, yes, oh my god. She's like you

745
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 1: don't have to care anymore, like and she's like Scott

746
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 1: Thomas or something. She's cool. Oh yeah, that's her. She's

747
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,879
Speaker 1: so gorgeous. And she plays this like lesbian that what's

748
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,960
Speaker 1: her name is talking to and Fleabag is like, I've

749
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 1: I've heard you know, menopause is terrible, and she's like,

750
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:58,800
Speaker 1: oh it is, but then it's glorious. It's glorious, and um,

751
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,959
Speaker 1: it does seem to be that way, but it's gonna

752
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 1: get pretty bad. Before then, I was just so mad

753
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 1: hearing about that fertility thing. It just doesn't make sense. Yeah,

754
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 1: it's elective, but we want everyone in this country to

755
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:14,479
Speaker 1: have children because of the Christian right. And you get

756
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 1: a tax break if you had to have a child,

757
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 1: So the whole country is all about like everybody, have

758
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 1: a baby, have a baby, have a baby, and then

759
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 1: when it comes down to you wanting to have a baby,

760
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,040
Speaker 1: they're gonna fuck you. I just felt like I was

761
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:30,200
Speaker 1: doing like a I was playing playing uh, a woman

762
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 1: who wants to have a baby. I literally thought I

763
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 1: was like auditioning for a role of something that I

764
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 1: know I would never it was a baby. He was

765
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: putting on a mustache and a hat and like suspenders

766
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: and was like the way I feel if I've ever

767
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: done drag and I dressed up like a man, and

768
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm a man now, and I do like

769
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,759
Speaker 1: a man character. That's exactly how I felt on this

770
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: call with this woman being like talking about me with

771
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:55,280
Speaker 1: my eggs and like showing me my ovaries and stuff.

772
00:38:55,320 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: Like I'm not saying I'm not a woman. I'm very

773
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,720
Speaker 1: much a woman, but it's just not I just didn't

774
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 1: get that that chip in me that that any of

775
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,160
Speaker 1: this is alluring to And I feel, again, I very

776
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: much related to the kitchen being reindone thing or picking out.

777
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 1: I got a new couch yesterday and I'm on crate

778
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:17,000
Speaker 1: and barrel and there's twenty different textile kind of like

779
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: just the textile the way it feels, and then there's

780
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: twenty different colors. So if you do the math on that,

781
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: there's literally like four hundred options of things that you

782
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 1: can get. And it is too much. And so what

783
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 1: did I do? I said, what is in stock? One

784
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 1: color was in stock? I got that color. Is it

785
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: going to be the shittiest kind? For sure? Is it

786
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: gonna be? For sure? But it is? I just otherwise

787
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,919
Speaker 1: I would never have gotten the couch. I can't deal

788
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 1: with this. Too many options and and women that just

789
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 1: know what they want and I will, like wait a

790
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: long time, or they'll they'll have a whole book of

791
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:54,560
Speaker 1: swatches sent to them. God, I would give anything to

792
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 1: be like that. I really would to right to care

793
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 1: about something like that and to understand it and have

794
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: the patience to like pick it out. And you know,

795
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: picking out a new bed is exhausting, it's all, you know.

796
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 1: My resolutions for the new year is just to like

797
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 1: myself more and accept what I am. And I'm having

798
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 1: a really hard time with it today, especially because I

799
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,200
Speaker 1: had to get on a call and pretend I'm a

800
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,399
Speaker 1: girl who wants to have a baby because that's wait,

801
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:27,400
Speaker 1: let's okay, So let's talk about your New Year's Eve. Yeah, spectacular,

802
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: it was so fun. Um Yeah, it was at the

803
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 1: Steepel Center and achieve you sold it out, Yes, definitely

804
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,840
Speaker 1: sold it out. Thank you. So much to every bestie

805
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 1: that came. It was such a fun night. It was

806
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: so um it felt like my wedding, Um for sure,

807
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 1: because it was like all my friends in town, my family, um,

808
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 1: a lot of people that you know I should know

809
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 1: but don't really know that well, like like everyone in

810
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: my life is there. You have to talk to everyone,

811
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: mingle with every one like it's your special day. But

812
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 1: you feel like you're hosting something as well. Um, it

813
00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:06,799
Speaker 1: was a lot of work, but it was. It ended

814
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,760
Speaker 1: up being so much fun. It was a great day

815
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: through and through, but I got it back. Um thanks,

816
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: I mean I like it. I had a million people

817
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 1: come in to town. I had a lot of good

818
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 1: friends come into town stay with you. You were like

819
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 1: hostessing your apartment is impeccable. Now that's because I have

820
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: help from Taylor. She does everything. Literally, Taylor hasn't come

821
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 1: by in a couple of days in my house, I

822
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,399
Speaker 1: haven't I won't fold a piece of laundry, I won't

823
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: do anything like it all could be done. I won't

824
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 1: do it anymore because like I'm not now I have

825
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 1: a housekeeper, but now my place is a fucking mess.

826
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,359
Speaker 1: So um, yeah it was. It was a lot of

827
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 1: work all weekend, and I'm already feeling like I don't

828
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: deserve to take a nap again, Like what's the next thing.

829
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: I have nothing on the books in terms of like

830
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,399
Speaker 1: that it's looming like this. I definitely have my tour

831
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: and everything, but those shows are selling well and feeling

832
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,640
Speaker 1: like really satisfied about that. I'm not like worried about

833
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 1: anything in the future. And I think that is starting

834
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,359
Speaker 1: to set in and I already it's just so weird.

835
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 1: You go from this night on Saturday, like the biggest

836
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 1: night of your life. Everyone in your life is around.

837
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: You have this big show. Then there's a meet and

838
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 1: greet of like two d and fifty people at least

839
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:23,839
Speaker 1: for like, so it's an hour and a half show

840
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 1: and then an hour of meeting people, which I genuinely

841
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:31,439
Speaker 1: love it is. It's long, but it's not bad at all,

842
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,280
Speaker 1: but it's exhausting. And then and then you go home

843
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:37,240
Speaker 1: and you wake up in the morning and your boyfriend

844
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:40,359
Speaker 1: leaves and your friends have all left town, and it's

845
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,360
Speaker 1: quiet and there's no one around and there is nothing

846
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: to do and no one's even texting, like it's just

847
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 1: all goes like like it's like a vacuum, like like nothing,

848
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,439
Speaker 1: and it's like this, it's it's a little bit hard

849
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 1: to get calibrated back to like what what is my life?

850
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,440
Speaker 1: Because I was just so nuts. It feels like I

851
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 1: should have gone on a honeymoon or something, because just

852
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 1: being in my empty apartment after all of this, in

853
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 1: the same town that this all just happened and felt

854
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 1: just kind of like, um, a little bit of a shock.

855
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 1: But the night itself was so fun. My sister brought

856
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,919
Speaker 1: her kids backstage and everyone was like, the kids don't

857
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 1: need to be here, and I was like, thank God

858
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: for these kids because I can just play with them.

859
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: I don't have to talk to anyone. I don't have

860
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 1: to entertain people. They're getting my mind off of being nervous,

861
00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:28,359
Speaker 1: like I can't. I can just focus on opening this

862
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:31,320
Speaker 1: gift for Poppy and like you know, doing the twist

863
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: ties on the back, trying to get this little squirt

864
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 1: gun for my nephew. Figured out, Like that's what I

865
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 1: wanted to focus on fifteen minutes before I went on

866
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:43,360
Speaker 1: stage than anything really because everything else was just too um,

867
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 1: too much. But it was funny too, and it's like

868
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,839
Speaker 1: your night and you have all this pressure on you

869
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 1: to do a huge show and then to be a hostess.

870
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 1: Like there was a pre party, then there was a

871
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:58,439
Speaker 1: post party to the show. So Nikki is not only

872
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: like doing an hour and a half long show, actually

873
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,760
Speaker 1: more like a two hour long show with introducing every everything,

874
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 1: and then she does this hour and a half long

875
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 1: meet and great. Then there's an after party. But there

876
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 1: was a pre priarty, so you were like on from

877
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:14,240
Speaker 1: I would say six pm to two in the morning,

878
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:16,800
Speaker 1: like on, because I also had a guy that was

879
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 1: interviewing me for this piece that was you know, I

880
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 1: would say from five o'clock until one am. It was

881
00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:26,720
Speaker 1: NonStop and there was maybe I went to the bathroom

882
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,319
Speaker 1: once and had a little bit of alone time like

883
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 1: a breather, but other than that, it was just constantly

884
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 1: talking to people and like it. And honestly I like it.

885
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 1: I don't really want it to not I don't really

886
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 1: need that much alone time. But yeah, you're amazing. I

887
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 1: like implode, you would what I just implode. I've come

888
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 1: to know about myself that you know, I can do

889
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: about four things in a day well and if my

890
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 1: plate gets any more full than that, Like some people

891
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,280
Speaker 1: thrive with the full plate. You are one of those people,

892
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 1: like you really do you thrive with a full late deadlines,

893
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: like immediate deadlines. You're like, all right, let's kick this

894
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,120
Speaker 1: in high gear. I like get paralyzed and freak out.

895
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 1: So like I'm like, okay, my show, I have to

896
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 1: do vocal you know, warmups. I have to remember to

897
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: put my flash drive bracelet on my wrist because it's

898
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 1: part of my show to do this thing with that.

899
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: Then I you know, have to remember my songs and

900
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 1: then just my guitar and my capebo I forgot one

901
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 1: of those things because I got distracted with something else

902
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 1: before the show, and I was like, see, I cannot

903
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,799
Speaker 1: multitask well, Like I can't even go out and say

904
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 1: hi to people for five minutes without feeling discombobulated. So

905
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 1: I didn't even get to socialize really because it would

906
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: take me off. Well, you have the luxury of not

907
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 1: having to no one's expecting you to, Like if you

908
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,239
Speaker 1: expected you too, you probably could, you know, Like if

909
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 1: if I was someone that didn't have to go say

910
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:53,120
Speaker 1: hi to everyone that was there for me, I probably

911
00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 1: wouldn't have, you know, but it wasn't an option. It

912
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 1: was like my wedding like you. And that's why I

913
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 1: would love to elope someday so that it doesn't because

914
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,760
Speaker 1: I do love doing this Like I didn't. I didn't.

915
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,320
Speaker 1: There was no part of that night that I was like,

916
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: like it really it was a lot, but it was

917
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 1: still the whole thing was fun. And I loved that

918
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,320
Speaker 1: when your dad was like, why are there no drinks

919
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:19,359
Speaker 1: in the food room? Oh my god? I mean that

920
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 1: is just She's like, and he performed. Can I say

921
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: my parents do this too? Where I'm like, I'm doing

922
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:31,960
Speaker 1: seventeen things at once, and I'm fully made up and

923
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:33,879
Speaker 1: trying to keep it together, and I've got a smile

924
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 1: on my face, but if one fucking match goes on

925
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 1: my back, I will lose it. And like, all of

926
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: a sudden, it becomes known to us that in the

927
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,280
Speaker 1: in the pre party room where there's all these pizzas

928
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 1: because it's very nice company delivered a bunch of pizza

929
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:50,360
Speaker 1: ahead and they were delicious and they were vegan, and

930
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: they did all of this out of the kind of

931
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 1: salts and cookies. Yeah, it was amazing, Yeah, it was amazing.

932
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,320
Speaker 1: And then then we come to realize, whoops, the drinks

933
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,879
Speaker 1: that we had ready, We're not put in that room.

934
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 1: They were in a different backstage room. So myself, Nikky

935
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: and Matt, her husband and her brother in law, we

936
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:10,880
Speaker 1: we go into the other room and I'm Matt and

937
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: I are like, Nikki, don't worry about it. We got

938
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,840
Speaker 1: this and we started moving the drinks. Right at that moment,

939
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: her dad Waltz is in and it's like right to Nikki,

940
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,280
Speaker 1: like mumbling, kind of like in the way you imitate

941
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: him in your childhood dinners like soups cold weird. But

942
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 1: I would have liked, would you have why would you

943
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,399
Speaker 1: have the drinks in here when their food's all in there?

944
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 1: And I go, are you joking me? I go, I

945
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 1: am right now having all of the drinks moved there.

946
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:43,400
Speaker 1: This is what this is what it's not if he

947
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 1: would have just said um, if he didn't need to

948
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:48,919
Speaker 1: say anything, first of all, because we were already doing

949
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:51,840
Speaker 1: exactly what he was trying to have remedied, right. But

950
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 1: what annoys me is that my dad already and people

951
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 1: do this all the time. It's not just my dad,

952
00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,520
Speaker 1: and this is a this is a Glazer family trait.

953
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 1: That's why I love my friends and family to be

954
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 1: around my I love my friends and my boyfriend to

955
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:07,279
Speaker 1: be around my family because they see where I get it.

956
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:09,280
Speaker 1: Where they look at me and they go, Jesus, Nikky

957
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 1: is weird or she's intense or you know, and then

958
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:15,880
Speaker 1: they look at how I was raised and they go, Okay,

959
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 1: this makes sense. So this happened right before. So we're

960
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: headed to rehearsal. My dad picks me up, and there's

961
00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 1: a lot of traffic downtown because I was you know,

962
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 1: right next to the Steeple Theater is the Enterprise. Um,

963
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 1: it sounds like the Enterprise Center, but it wasn't like

964
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 1: a rental car place the Enterprise Center. It's like the

965
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,440
Speaker 1: hockey rink for the Blues. And so that game was

966
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: started starting hours before my show. So getting down there

967
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 1: was so much traffic. So I go. Dad in said

968
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: of me driving separately, pick me up. We'll go to

969
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 1: rehearsal together. So we go. He picks me up. We

970
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 1: go to sound check together, and as I'm going downstairs,

971
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,640
Speaker 1: I had this big bag of all the clothes and

972
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:54,160
Speaker 1: all the things I need for the whole night. And

973
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: my dad is sixty eight, so I just don't like

974
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:59,240
Speaker 1: him lifting things anymore. And I am an able bodied

975
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: woman who has about four eggs inside of her right now.

976
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:07,880
Speaker 1: I was ready to be harvested at any moment. And

977
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,800
Speaker 1: and so if my dad pops to the hatch for

978
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 1: the back thing trunk and I grabbed the bag and

979
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 1: he's like, let me get it. And my dad's fighting,

980
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 1: aging and fighting this and wants, you know, to be

981
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:21,280
Speaker 1: a good man in this moment for his weak little daughter.

982
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 1: And he picks up the bag and I'm fighting with

983
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,279
Speaker 1: him with the bag, and then I slam my head

984
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 1: on his thumb fucking Niecean back trunk. The hatch that

985
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 1: does not come all the way up because it's he

986
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 1: bought a vehicle that was in an accident, so the

987
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:38,960
Speaker 1: thing doesn't even come up all the way. And I

988
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 1: slam my head. It's bleeding. There's a huge dent on

989
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 1: my forehead. And we get in the car and I'm

990
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 1: just like, calm about it. I'm just like, I hit

991
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,360
Speaker 1: my head, It's fine, it's bleeding. Whatever, I'm going to

992
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:52,760
Speaker 1: put a bandit on it. I'm gonna honor Nelly tonight

993
00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:57,319
Speaker 1: from my performance here in St. Louis. And then we're

994
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 1: pulling out, my dad goes why wouldn't you just let

995
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,240
Speaker 1: me get it? Why you wouldn't? And I'm like, Dad,

996
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: I already have a gash on my head. Isn't that

997
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 1: punishment enough? Do you need to shame me more for

998
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,360
Speaker 1: how dumb I was for doing this? Like why do

999
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 1: we need to add to it? So again, like I

1000
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,319
Speaker 1: already am getting the drinks out of the room. I've

1001
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,439
Speaker 1: already realized that there has been a mess up here.

1002
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 1: I'm already feeling bad about it. People are in that

1003
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,120
Speaker 1: room eating that They're all going like, where's the drinks?

1004
00:50:24,120 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: And they're having to shuffle between the two, and my

1005
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 1: green room is kind of in the middle of trying

1006
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 1: to get to those, so they feel like they're kind

1007
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,839
Speaker 1: of to get to the drinks, they're kind of having

1008
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 1: to go through my green room, and they all feel

1009
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 1: kind of weird about that. So it's just like not

1010
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:37,279
Speaker 1: a good vibe back stage. I already feel horrible about

1011
00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 1: it because I've realized it too late. So I'm trying

1012
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 1: to fix it and my dad has to come in

1013
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:43,640
Speaker 1: and mumble something about why would you put the drinks

1014
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 1: in here when the food's like what do you? Why?

1015
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,759
Speaker 1: Why must we keep punishing ourselves on top of the thing.

1016
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 1: Just isn't it enough that I'm having to like? And

1017
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 1: so I just snapped and he looked at me like

1018
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 1: I was crazy, and I was. I mean, I went

1019
00:50:58,080 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 1: a little bit too much off on him, but I

1020
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:05,240
Speaker 1: just couldn't take it anymore. Um, and that it was yeah,

1021
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 1: but then um, but then it was gutty. They they

1022
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,359
Speaker 1: were fun. They drove us home, Chris and I home

1023
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 1: at the end of the night, and that was fun.

1024
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 1: And you know, there were gunshots I guess on the

1025
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,600
Speaker 1: way out for some people leaving the venue. Did that

1026
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,120
Speaker 1: happen to you, Anya? And we were told by security

1027
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 1: to wait indoors for the uber and we're like, no,

1028
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:25,880
Speaker 1: we can wait outside. They're like, you don't want to

1029
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 1: go out there. But then they were being cagey about why.

1030
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 1: I was like, why a lot of drunk people and

1031
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 1: they're like, just stay inside. I'm like, okay, I just dangerous.

1032
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 1: They're like, it's dangerous, it's dangerous, but this it's not

1033
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 1: any more dangerous than any other city. Because yesterday everyone

1034
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: on the Girls Ship or two days ago was like

1035
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 1: we heard gunshots, dada, And I'm like, that's the thing

1036
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:48,440
Speaker 1: that happens on Year's Eve everywhere. First of all, everyone

1037
00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:51,080
Speaker 1: shoots off guns, And yes St. Louis does have a

1038
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 1: crime thing, but I looked up the crime and St.

1039
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 1: Louis and is not any more worse than anywhere in

1040
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:59,600
Speaker 1: the US. So everyone was just like, I got so scared,

1041
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 1: and and everyone's like, you know, running off home to

1042
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 1: Arkansas in Kansas City thinking it's safer. It's the same

1043
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: in those places. To St. Louis is not different. I'm

1044
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,400
Speaker 1: not worse than you because I live in a crime

1045
00:52:09,440 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: filled city. I just like it was a little bit infusitory. Yeah,

1046
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 1: but it was New Year's Eve. I bet that happened everywhere.

1047
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:17,920
Speaker 1: And I looked on the news and there was no shootings.

1048
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:21,680
Speaker 1: It was fireworks, so you tell me no successful ones.

1049
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 1: But they did throw a burning thing burning yeah Corn

1050
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:31,000
Speaker 1: Taylor and everyone like through burning objects at Taylor. I

1051
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 1: don't know. I just felt like you guys were like St.

1052
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 1: Louis is disgusting and say that. But watch that one

1053
00:52:37,239 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 1: video and they're running and they're like you here in

1054
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:41,439
Speaker 1: the background like pop pop pop, And then you see

1055
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: the girls in the video realized like those aren't fireworks.

1056
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, everyone always thinks of guns there fireworks at first.

1057
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:51,719
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds so like he's, well, yeah, that's

1058
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 1: what edny. I mean, I've read a lot of books

1059
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,359
Speaker 1: about mass shootings and stuff. You guys know that, and

1060
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:58,439
Speaker 1: like everyone always thinks it's firecrackers, So if you ever

1061
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 1: think they are firecrackers, I'm at the point where I

1062
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:03,960
Speaker 1: think firecrackers are guns now because I know that so much.

1063
00:53:04,640 --> 00:53:07,839
Speaker 1: So it's that's that's what it will sound like. But St.

1064
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 1: Louis doesn't. That was an insane show. You were so

1065
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,759
Speaker 1: great and so poised and so funny. There was this

1066
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 1: moment Nikki like rewrote anti Hero for St. Louis with

1067
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:22,759
Speaker 1: these hysterical lyrics, and then like there was like a

1068
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,320
Speaker 1: whole moment where she had to vamp because she didn't

1069
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 1: see the last verse. It was missing from her phone

1070
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:30,160
Speaker 1: where she was reading lyrics, and so she vamped, which

1071
00:53:30,239 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 1: was almost funnier than the whole song that she had written,

1072
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 1: and the crowd just went nuts. It was such a

1073
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 1: great vibe in the place. And then you and your

1074
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:39,640
Speaker 1: dad did a song that I swear you should like

1075
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:43,520
Speaker 1: bring back many times because it's so touching, so funny,

1076
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:45,680
Speaker 1: Like I was peeing my pants laughing in bed that

1077
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:47,440
Speaker 1: night just thinking about it. And you guys are just

1078
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 1: so so good together. It was an amazing, amazing show.

1079
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. It was so nice. Thank

1080
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 1: you so much, and like, yeah, it was I couldn't

1081
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,520
Speaker 1: have done it without the help of obviously you and

1082
00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 1: Matt and all my friends and just everyone that was

1083
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:05,279
Speaker 1: there that weekend. Was like, it was so special to me.

1084
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,560
Speaker 1: I wish you would have been there, Noah, instead of

1085
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 1: intriguing sequences, Um, we're gonna come back and we're gonna

1086
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:18,359
Speaker 1: do reddit dump right after. All right, it's time for

1087
00:54:18,440 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 1: Reddit dump karaoke mode. This is your Reddit dump. He Okay,

1088
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: So this is from the reddit Unpopular Opinion and it

1089
00:54:30,040 --> 00:54:33,240
Speaker 1: says finding a hair in your food is no big deal.

1090
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 1: I mean, it's unfortunate, but do you do you But

1091
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:38,879
Speaker 1: do you know what I do when I find a hair?

1092
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 1: I don't eat it. I remove it and a discard

1093
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 1: of it. I don't understand why finding a hair renders

1094
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 1: a meal inedible For most people percent at the time,

1095
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: it wasn't intentional. The other point one percent, well, that's

1096
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: a different story. The fact is, never mind how careful

1097
00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:54,239
Speaker 1: you are when cooking a straight hair is going to

1098
00:54:54,239 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 1: fall in food occasionally, um thoughts because I've I've thought

1099
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:01,640
Speaker 1: this way too, Like what how much dirt does a

1100
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,440
Speaker 1: hair piece of hair have on it that you make

1101
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,879
Speaker 1: renders your food in edible inedible? Just pull it out?

1102
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,439
Speaker 1: It is gross because hair detached from the human head

1103
00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 1: is disgusting on its own. We all know that. Just

1104
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 1: pull it out and keep eating the food. Like I don't.

1105
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:19,000
Speaker 1: I don't get um the like I understand if it

1106
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 1: was like a piece of poop was in your food,

1107
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:23,879
Speaker 1: like you couldn't just in the poop would like leave

1108
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 1: behind remnants. But what does a hair leave behind aside

1109
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:31,360
Speaker 1: from like old shampoo that it's gonna make or like

1110
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:33,800
Speaker 1: a little grease from their head that you can't even see.

1111
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,759
Speaker 1: It'll probably make the food taste better because it's grease. Yo,

1112
00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:40,640
Speaker 1: what is I think it's more of just a a

1113
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:45,919
Speaker 1: visual thing than actually something that can really impair your

1114
00:55:46,880 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: taste buds or also doesn't matter if the hair is

1115
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: curly or straight. What if there were two hairs, if

1116
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:57,879
Speaker 1: there were three? Racist if people are more anti curly hair, well,

1117
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,480
Speaker 1: small curly hairs make you think of pubes, which make

1118
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:03,840
Speaker 1: you think of like calm and ship and all the

1119
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,319
Speaker 1: things that are down there. And so yes, I get it,

1120
00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:10,759
Speaker 1: but let's normalize just instead of reordering a whole thing

1121
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:15,680
Speaker 1: and shaming whatever you know too much. Aging man is

1122
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 1: back there who's losing a lot of hair, Just take

1123
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,880
Speaker 1: it out of your food and keep eating. Usually the

1124
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,879
Speaker 1: hair that I find is usually from my own head,

1125
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 1: like if I reach for something, it falls off my sleeve.

1126
00:56:27,120 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 1: But so I will definitely eat food if I find

1127
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:33,040
Speaker 1: someone else's hair in it. I just have to go

1128
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:34,880
Speaker 1: through a little bit of like the mental thing of

1129
00:56:34,920 --> 00:56:38,239
Speaker 1: like thinking about swallowing the hair and then pulling it

1130
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 1: out of my through god, oh god, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1131
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 1: that's what gets to me first. And then I just

1132
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:46,560
Speaker 1: like dismiss it. I assume that that's the only hair

1133
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 1: in there. I don't think that there's It's not like cockroaches,

1134
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,360
Speaker 1: like there's gonna be more. In fact, there's gonna be

1135
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:54,880
Speaker 1: probably more cockroach legs in your salad or like mice

1136
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 1: remnant ship that's crawling all over the potatoes that you know,

1137
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:03,080
Speaker 1: there's so much crap in your food that you can't see.

1138
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 1: And if you're someone who goes out to eat and

1139
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,880
Speaker 1: you have, there's a hair, and you can't eat the

1140
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: entire dish. Stop going out to eat. It isn't for

1141
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 1: you make things at home so you can inspect them.

1142
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:16,280
Speaker 1: It's not for you to go out to eat. And

1143
00:57:16,320 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 1: I know you're like, Nikki, that's not fair. I'm just saying, like,

1144
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 1: if you took a black light to your meal, you

1145
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:26,560
Speaker 1: would be horrified at what you can you and people

1146
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 1: that I'm not even gonna get into it because people

1147
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 1: start getting mad at me because they're like, I do that,

1148
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 1: and I just don't want to make any more enemies

1149
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:34,720
Speaker 1: than I have already. But on you, how do you

1150
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 1: feel about hairing your food? I feel the same, Like

1151
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 1: one hair, I'm gonna just pull it out and keep going.

1152
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,120
Speaker 1: If there were two or three, it'd be like something's

1153
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 1: going on with to you go Okay, well there's probably

1154
00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:48,439
Speaker 1: gonna be three. Then yes, if you have two hairs

1155
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 1: in your food, yes, send it back. Um. I used

1156
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:53,960
Speaker 1: to have a joke, one of my earliest jokes was

1157
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 1: that someone found a hair in their food and I

1158
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: was like, well, it is angel hair pasta, and our

1159
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 1: pasta chef, as Bronza, is an angel. If you met her,

1160
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:07,240
Speaker 1: so Um, okay, so stupid. I hate myself all right.

1161
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 1: So this one is from to me I r L

1162
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,160
Speaker 1: for me I r L. And it's just like memes

1163
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 1: and different tweets. And this is from a tweet from

1164
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 1: a guy named my at my toe cold, My toe Cold.

1165
00:58:18,560 --> 00:58:20,720
Speaker 1: It says I'm sad, but not like sad enough to

1166
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 1: be a good painter or whatever. Let's say like that

1167
00:58:28,640 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 1: sounds colloquial, like it sounds like someone's talking I'm sad

1168
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 1: but not like sad enough to be a good painter

1169
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 1: or whatever. Um, yes, that I relate to that. Okay,

1170
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: so this one was from true off my chest. My

1171
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 1: penis is long, but it's really skinny, like someone glued

1172
00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:48,720
Speaker 1: a slim jim to the bottom of my Torso we've

1173
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 1: got to change how we measure penises. Man, I always

1174
00:58:51,400 --> 00:58:53,040
Speaker 1: feel like I'm lying when I tell a girl I'm

1175
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: eight and a half, but she gets confused when I

1176
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 1: whip out my twizzler. Still though, it's my penis, and

1177
00:58:57,880 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 1: I'm glad to have it, even though I'm sure I

1178
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 1: can break get in half like a pockey stick. Um. People,

1179
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 1: he said, I'm not going to take a picture. Stop asking,

1180
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: And then he decided to paint, like draw a picture

1181
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,200
Speaker 1: of it like I would do my ships on you,

1182
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:22,520
Speaker 1: And this is it. It's it's very thin and as scale.

1183
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,640
Speaker 1: No one's getting horny. It looks like a cue tip. Um. Yeah,

1184
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 1: there's no body to scale so you can't see. But

1185
00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:33,439
Speaker 1: it looks eight and a half inches like but really thin.

1186
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: That would suck. That would be hard. Have you ever

1187
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 1: seen anything? M M, I just went, you know, micro

1188
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 1: penis boy, But no, yeah, micro penis is different. I

1189
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:48,440
Speaker 1: feel like it's if that's but thin, I've never seen that,

1190
00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 1: but more power to you. I've just never seen it before.

1191
00:59:50,680 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: If it looks like a nillipede. I say, twizzler is

1192
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 1: my favorite road trip snack, so your girl's feeling it.

1193
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:05,160
Speaker 1: My god, my twizzler is your favorite road road I

1194
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 1: always get it when I'm on a road trip. I

1195
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:11,919
Speaker 1: never created any other time. Oh that's interesting. In terms

1196
01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 1: of liquorice, wait, what's the other kind of liquorice that

1197
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:20,480
Speaker 1: is more um like straw like red vines. Oh yeah,

1198
01:00:20,520 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 1: it's gotta be strawberry twizzler. I like, I like um,

1199
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 1: strawberry twizzles, but I like them to be a little

1200
01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:31,280
Speaker 1: bit stale. So that chewy. Yes, me too, I like that. Okay. Um,

1201
01:00:31,320 --> 01:00:33,480
Speaker 1: so this is from Made Me Smile and it's from

1202
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:36,520
Speaker 1: Glenn and Doyle. She wrote that one book called like

1203
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 1: I Can Do Hard Things or whatever. Maybe it's called Brave,

1204
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:41,120
Speaker 1: but in it she says I can do hard things anyway,

1205
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:45,919
Speaker 1: it says, hi, Hi, I want to talk like her.

1206
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 1: She's always on Instagram really saying like just like sharing

1207
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 1: a little bit too much, you know, or she's like

1208
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,920
Speaker 1: I just cried all morning in the bathroom, and I

1209
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 1: just want to say like she's You're always kind of

1210
01:00:57,080 --> 01:00:58,600
Speaker 1: like I liked you better when I thought you were

1211
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:04,040
Speaker 1: like this perfectly together like author who you know, didn't

1212
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:09,080
Speaker 1: always look like she had just had a nervous breakdown. Man. Um,

1213
01:01:09,120 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 1: but I like her realness because um and any realness

1214
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:14,440
Speaker 1: I don't like about her is a projection of what

1215
01:01:14,520 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 1: I don't like it myself. We just learned that at

1216
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 1: the first segment. Okay, so it's high. There's a family

1217
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 1: next to me at the store. I just heard the

1218
01:01:21,320 --> 01:01:23,560
Speaker 1: dad say to his kid, well, it's brave to go

1219
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 1: on a roller coaster, and it's also brave to say

1220
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,920
Speaker 1: you don't want to go on a roller coaster. Wanted

1221
01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 1: to tell you something good, that is good. I liked

1222
01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 1: that if someone has told me that as a kid,

1223
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 1: because I was so scared of roller coasters, but I

1224
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 1: was more scared of how people would respond if they

1225
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 1: found out I was scared to go on roller coasters

1226
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:43,200
Speaker 1: because in fifth grade, sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade,

1227
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:46,720
Speaker 1: I'd say, all through middle school, roller coasters are like

1228
01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:51,000
Speaker 1: like drinking or sex. Like it is like the baddest

1229
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:53,320
Speaker 1: thing you can do as like a kid is like

1230
01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:56,439
Speaker 1: go on a roller coaster. That means you're badass. It's

1231
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:59,480
Speaker 1: like getting hyper. It's like, you know, the cool kids

1232
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:01,600
Speaker 1: go on roller coasters. You're cool if you can do that.

1233
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 1: And if you're scared of things, your baby and your dork.

1234
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 1: And I was terrified of roller coasters, and I wish

1235
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:12,080
Speaker 1: someone would have pinpoint or told me that admitting what

1236
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:14,640
Speaker 1: you're scared of is actually brave, because no one doesn't.

1237
01:02:15,240 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 1: That would have with a twizzler dick. Yeah, if you're

1238
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 1: a guy scared of roller coasters, I don't know. Yeah,

1239
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess it's probably more pressure on men

1240
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:30,680
Speaker 1: to be like strong and like really scary rides and stuff.

1241
01:02:31,040 --> 01:02:33,880
Speaker 1: But I still I don't know. Chris loves that stuff,

1242
01:02:33,880 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: and I think it's stupid to love that stuff because

1243
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:41,080
Speaker 1: I don't understand why you want to feel want your body,

1244
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 1: why you want to trick your body into feeling like

1245
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 1: it's dying. Yeah, we already do that enough with getting

1246
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:51,720
Speaker 1: laser treatment. Yeah, I mean that's for a purpose. I

1247
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 1: really love it is They say that it makes them

1248
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:58,280
Speaker 1: feel very alive. Mm hmm. It's the same thing as

1249
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 1: like bass jumpers or any of these guys that just

1250
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:02,840
Speaker 1: do this stuff. It's like, yeah, it makes you feel

1251
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 1: live to cheat death or to have your body convinced

1252
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:07,560
Speaker 1: that you the doorphins that you get from it. I mean,

1253
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:11,720
Speaker 1: I came on the X Factor ride at U Flags

1254
01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 1: Magic Mountain. There's a role that made me have an

1255
01:03:14,880 --> 01:03:19,000
Speaker 1: orgasm two thousand seven eight something like that. I'm not

1256
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:23,520
Speaker 1: joking you, and I knew it was one because I

1257
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:26,440
Speaker 1: had never had one before. It was like probably my first.

1258
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:31,480
Speaker 1: It was insane. It was insane. Um, okay, no, will

1259
01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:33,440
Speaker 1: you share one of the videos that I have UM

1260
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 1: sent you? Okay, so this is from uh funny videos. Oh,

1261
01:03:39,840 --> 01:03:43,440
Speaker 1: I love this so much? She is okay, so she

1262
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:46,400
Speaker 1: is coming out of anesthesia. It's one of these videos

1263
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:48,640
Speaker 1: where that she had her mouth operated on and she's

1264
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:51,320
Speaker 1: just saying, weird ship, you know, like this is my

1265
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:53,360
Speaker 1: worst nightmare of what I would say in this state

1266
01:03:53,360 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 1: of mind. But this is so hilarious. Yeah, when was

1267
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 1: the left I'm ever why I'm figuring, when was the

1268
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:19,439
Speaker 1: last time I saw someone to do? What? Oh? If?

1269
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:35,760
Speaker 1: I can care? So she's crying because her mom or

1270
01:04:35,800 --> 01:04:41,000
Speaker 1: whoever's with her, and she's got she's really serious about it.

1271
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 1: Um that makes me feel like, honestly watching that, I'm like,

1272
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:48,040
Speaker 1: that's me right before my period. Okay, right, like just

1273
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 1: so irraptually sad about everything and taking everything so personally,

1274
01:04:56,200 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 1: I'm right there right now. I have to cycles are

1275
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 1: all psych to I'll be there in like three days.

1276
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:07,960
Speaker 1: I'm there in two days or maybe tomorrow, God willing eggs.

1277
01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 1: And it's like, I, yeah, just getting so upset about

1278
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:17,000
Speaker 1: the dumbest stuff, Like I just I can't anymore with

1279
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 1: these hormones. I can't do it. I can't ride this

1280
01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 1: roller coaster. I'm scared of this rollercoaster. And I don't

1281
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:24,040
Speaker 1: know if it's brave to admit that, but I don't

1282
01:05:24,160 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 1: trust my mind anymore. I know people regular I gotta

1283
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:35,960
Speaker 1: do something about regulating my emotions because I'm just so

1284
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:39,360
Speaker 1: negative some days, Like I just woke up today just

1285
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 1: feeling so sad and I can't get out of it.

1286
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:44,160
Speaker 1: And it's not like I can go. I can't do

1287
01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 1: a podcast today. I can't, And I tried to do

1288
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,360
Speaker 1: affirmations in the mirror. I went to Starbucks and I

1289
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:53,600
Speaker 1: journaled for three pages. I woke up early so because

1290
01:05:53,600 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 1: I kind of felt coming on last night, and I'm

1291
01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:56,880
Speaker 1: gonna wake up early because I don't want to go

1292
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 1: into a podcast in a bad mood tomorrow. And to

1293
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:01,600
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just

1294
01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:04,680
Speaker 1: still a little bit like agitated about certain things. So

1295
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 1: maybe it's a little bit I can't help it, though

1296
01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:09,800
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be this way. I think that's

1297
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:13,080
Speaker 1: something that we can all relate to. We can all

1298
01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:15,120
Speaker 1: relate to being a bad mood and not being able

1299
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:18,360
Speaker 1: to get out of it, right, like why but then

1300
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:21,120
Speaker 1: why when someone is in a bad mood around us

1301
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:23,360
Speaker 1: and they don't get out of it is it's so

1302
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 1: fucking annoying. I can't even relate or forgive because it's

1303
01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 1: like at us. Because it's at us. I don't actually

1304
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 1: mind if someone's in a bad mood and it doesn't

1305
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:36,080
Speaker 1: come out as like short temperate nous. If I'm like, oh,

1306
01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:38,520
Speaker 1: they're having a bad day, that's fine, But if it's

1307
01:06:38,520 --> 01:06:46,280
Speaker 1: like what like yeah, yeah, I can't forgive that well,

1308
01:06:46,320 --> 01:06:49,280
Speaker 1: even though even though you know it's not really about you,

1309
01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:52,440
Speaker 1: you know, like I, we just don't do well with

1310
01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:54,040
Speaker 1: people being mad at us. And I think that's what

1311
01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:55,920
Speaker 1: comes back to this whole thing of me waking up

1312
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:59,040
Speaker 1: to this text about like people analyzing your life. It

1313
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:02,120
Speaker 1: makes me think that people are mad at me or

1314
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:05,440
Speaker 1: they secretly they have uncovered why I'm a bad person

1315
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:08,480
Speaker 1: and they've figured it out, like I haven't already figured

1316
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:11,400
Speaker 1: it out like I, you know, And then that makes

1317
01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:13,880
Speaker 1: it because people I was texting with the Girl's shot

1318
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,000
Speaker 1: today about it and trying to work out my feelings

1319
01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:18,120
Speaker 1: about it, and they were like, you know, they gave

1320
01:07:18,120 --> 01:07:20,000
Speaker 1: me back the same advice I give to my friends

1321
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:22,240
Speaker 1: when they are worried about what other people think about them,

1322
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 1: and I just say, they're gonna be vapor. Someday, everyone's

1323
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,320
Speaker 1: gonna be dead and all of the thoughts that they

1324
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:29,000
Speaker 1: have about you that might be wrong, or you might

1325
01:07:29,000 --> 01:07:31,880
Speaker 1: want to prove wrong. Their thoughts are going to be vapor.

1326
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:35,680
Speaker 1: Everything's gonna be vapor. Nothing matters. And it wasn't even

1327
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:38,840
Speaker 1: the problem with my thing wasn't like I really don't

1328
01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:41,320
Speaker 1: care what other I guess. I don't not care. But

1329
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:45,480
Speaker 1: it's less about someone being mad at me or someone

1330
01:07:45,560 --> 01:07:48,520
Speaker 1: not liking me, and it's more about them being right,

1331
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:52,040
Speaker 1: Like I never liked they have it wrong. I'm a

1332
01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:55,320
Speaker 1: good person. I go, they're probably right, and I'm a

1333
01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:58,320
Speaker 1: bad person. It's not like I want to prove them wrong,

1334
01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,680
Speaker 1: because I don't even That's not even where my mind

1335
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:03,120
Speaker 1: goes to go, like, no, they don't get it. I

1336
01:08:03,160 --> 01:08:05,400
Speaker 1: need to set them straight about what really happened there,

1337
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:07,640
Speaker 1: and they don't know. They're it's only seeing his side

1338
01:08:07,640 --> 01:08:09,840
Speaker 1: of things and they don't even know what really happened.

1339
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:13,120
Speaker 1: And instead I just go, no, they're right. I don't

1340
01:08:13,120 --> 01:08:15,840
Speaker 1: even pretend they're not right. I don't even combat it

1341
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,559
Speaker 1: in that way. Yes, I call them a loser on

1342
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:21,600
Speaker 1: my podcast and try to incite, you know, try to

1343
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:24,920
Speaker 1: poke that bear even more, But um, yeah, I just

1344
01:08:24,920 --> 01:08:26,720
Speaker 1: tend to think they're right, and then that's where I

1345
01:08:26,760 --> 01:08:29,679
Speaker 1: go into this like hole, Um, here's what I have

1346
01:08:29,840 --> 01:08:33,599
Speaker 1: to remedy that. And if I opened my own therapy

1347
01:08:33,720 --> 01:08:36,679
Speaker 1: center and became a psychiatrist, this is what I would

1348
01:08:36,720 --> 01:08:40,960
Speaker 1: tell my patients in every session. Who cares? Because think

1349
01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,840
Speaker 1: about it. If I go on Reddit and I read

1350
01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:46,000
Speaker 1: about myself, which I never have, and people say something

1351
01:08:46,040 --> 01:08:48,840
Speaker 1: that I fear is actually true, like oh my god,

1352
01:08:48,920 --> 01:08:51,280
Speaker 1: she has such an annoying voice, or she's not even

1353
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:53,679
Speaker 1: that great of a singer, or her songs aren't even

1354
01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:56,360
Speaker 1: that good, or all my worst fears, like her lyrics

1355
01:08:56,360 --> 01:08:59,880
Speaker 1: don't even make sense or whatever, or like she looks

1356
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:04,880
Speaker 1: Tom Petty like anything, And I'm like, what Tom Petty?

1357
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:09,920
Speaker 1: What if? What if they're right? Who cares? Like? What

1358
01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:13,200
Speaker 1: if they are right? I haven't seen It doesn't mean

1359
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,920
Speaker 1: that I have to believe them. No, And like, what

1360
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 1: if it's true that I look like Tom Petty and

1361
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:21,040
Speaker 1: my lyrics are bad and I can't really sing? It's

1362
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:26,280
Speaker 1: so what? Right? Well? My thing is I care because

1363
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a bad person in this world,

1364
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:33,200
Speaker 1: and I feel like bad people just are drains on society,

1365
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:35,400
Speaker 1: and so it makes me want to kill myself. But

1366
01:09:35,680 --> 01:09:37,799
Speaker 1: if so, it makes me want to just eliminate myself

1367
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:41,160
Speaker 1: from the world. Um, Like, what if you are about

1368
01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:43,800
Speaker 1: person like lean into it? Well, that's what I'm saying.

1369
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:45,760
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to help it. There's nothing I

1370
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:47,439
Speaker 1: can really do about it if I'm a bad person.

1371
01:09:47,479 --> 01:09:49,960
Speaker 1: But then it just makes me upset that I got

1372
01:09:50,000 --> 01:09:53,479
Speaker 1: dealt this shitty hand. It comes back to like, why

1373
01:09:53,479 --> 01:09:55,720
Speaker 1: did my parents have sex and make something like me?

1374
01:09:55,840 --> 01:10:00,200
Speaker 1: Why didn't they just then like something like me me

1375
01:10:00,200 --> 01:10:02,600
Speaker 1: back around. I'm doing the Teal Swan technique to you.

1376
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:05,519
Speaker 1: I just realized, like, so what lean into it? And

1377
01:10:05,560 --> 01:10:08,320
Speaker 1: then what Well, then if I'm a bad person, then

1378
01:10:08,479 --> 01:10:12,480
Speaker 1: I have to give up Like I should give up veganism,

1379
01:10:12,520 --> 01:10:16,320
Speaker 1: I should give up being an aunt. I like I

1380
01:10:16,320 --> 01:10:18,800
Speaker 1: I should just lean into being a horrible person and

1381
01:10:18,960 --> 01:10:20,920
Speaker 1: being selfish. But then that's not what I want to do.

1382
01:10:21,160 --> 01:10:24,240
Speaker 1: And so I guess, I guess I don't. I don't

1383
01:10:24,280 --> 01:10:27,240
Speaker 1: really know what you could keep doing that all day,

1384
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:31,760
Speaker 1: But I guess I just feel like a fraud and

1385
01:10:31,840 --> 01:10:33,880
Speaker 1: that people see into it. Okay, And so then if

1386
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:36,360
Speaker 1: it's true, if what everything they say is true, then

1387
01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:39,559
Speaker 1: I then I have no respect for anyone who's gotten

1388
01:10:39,600 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 1: to me to where I am. I have no respect

1389
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:43,040
Speaker 1: for my loved ones who love me and think I'm great.

1390
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 1: I have no respect for my family who made me

1391
01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:48,040
Speaker 1: and think that I'm great. I love if if they're

1392
01:10:48,080 --> 01:10:50,719
Speaker 1: If what they're saying about me is true, then everyone

1393
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:52,559
Speaker 1: who likes me is wrong. And I don't really want

1394
01:10:52,600 --> 01:10:54,080
Speaker 1: to be friends with them anymore, and I don't want

1395
01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:57,640
Speaker 1: them in my life because there wait, here's something for

1396
01:10:57,680 --> 01:10:59,960
Speaker 1: you to think about. What do you do for that? Okay,

1397
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:03,320
Speaker 1: you don't read them, you don't know exactly what is said.

1398
01:11:03,360 --> 01:11:05,439
Speaker 1: It's it's your mind that's that's telling you what all

1399
01:11:05,479 --> 01:11:09,439
Speaker 1: these bad things are. I'm usually pretty right, but you're

1400
01:11:09,479 --> 01:11:12,000
Speaker 1: setting the terms of what makes you a bad person,

1401
01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:15,280
Speaker 1: and your brain is trying to find all those links.

1402
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:19,200
Speaker 1: So if you can just kind of like say to yourself, okay,

1403
01:11:19,200 --> 01:11:22,280
Speaker 1: well let me go over. Is this true? No? Because

1404
01:11:22,439 --> 01:11:24,960
Speaker 1: I am this way, I'm compassionate. I went and I

1405
01:11:25,000 --> 01:11:28,000
Speaker 1: bought this cat two cans of food. Whereas someone who

1406
01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:30,840
Speaker 1: is less, you know, kind hearted, would just keep walking

1407
01:11:30,880 --> 01:11:33,120
Speaker 1: and say, oh, well that's going to be like who cares,

1408
01:11:33,120 --> 01:11:36,599
Speaker 1: It's just a street cat, right, Like you are able

1409
01:11:36,640 --> 01:11:40,559
Speaker 1: to dispel the things that you're primitive brain is telling

1410
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,680
Speaker 1: you where it's just like you're bad, you're bad, but

1411
01:11:42,720 --> 01:11:45,400
Speaker 1: you're setting those terms. It's not the comments because you

1412
01:11:45,400 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 1: don't know what the comments are actually saying. Yes I don't.

1413
01:11:48,360 --> 01:11:50,799
Speaker 1: I will reiterate that I will never look at anything,

1414
01:11:50,840 --> 01:11:53,240
Speaker 1: and I would encourage no one to look on it,

1415
01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:55,880
Speaker 1: edit on my behalf to go defend me, like, it's

1416
01:11:55,960 --> 01:11:58,080
Speaker 1: no point in talking to these people. And I don't

1417
01:11:58,120 --> 01:11:59,920
Speaker 1: even want you to read it, people who like me,

1418
01:12:00,120 --> 01:12:03,240
Speaker 1: or like what are they saying about her? Because honestly,

1419
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:05,200
Speaker 1: it will poison you to not like me. You think

1420
01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:06,920
Speaker 1: that it won't, you'll be like, no, I like you

1421
01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:10,240
Speaker 1: No matter what, Nikki, it will poison you. You will

1422
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:13,120
Speaker 1: kind of see something that they're saying and it will

1423
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:14,760
Speaker 1: make you just look at me differently. And if you

1424
01:12:14,800 --> 01:12:17,240
Speaker 1: want that then fine, But I'm telling you that's what happens.

1425
01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:22,240
Speaker 1: Even if these people are just you know, egomaniacal trolls. Um,

1426
01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:24,760
Speaker 1: that's what does. It all really comes down to your

1427
01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:28,040
Speaker 1: relationship with yourself, which is piggybacking off when Noah said

1428
01:12:28,080 --> 01:12:30,960
Speaker 1: so like no Math, That's why I love Byron Katie

1429
01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:33,280
Speaker 1: who talks about like is it true? Is it true?

1430
01:12:33,360 --> 01:12:38,439
Speaker 1: And like being unoffendable basically like you know, if someone

1431
01:12:38,439 --> 01:12:41,040
Speaker 1: said the worst thing to her ever, like she probably

1432
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:43,040
Speaker 1: be Like I could see some truth to that, but

1433
01:12:43,200 --> 01:12:47,320
Speaker 1: ultimately it doesn't really matter, because your relationship with yourself

1434
01:12:47,479 --> 01:12:54,000
Speaker 1: and your knowledge of yourself is the primary thing. Yes, Okay,

1435
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:56,240
Speaker 1: it's bad though when you do have a bad relationship

1436
01:12:56,280 --> 01:12:59,600
Speaker 1: with yourself. Yeah, so then that's that's the thing that

1437
01:12:59,640 --> 01:13:02,800
Speaker 1: means nurturing and that's the way it needs work more

1438
01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:07,240
Speaker 1: than trying to figure out how to make other people happy.

1439
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:09,280
Speaker 1: And that's why stand in the mirror. I approve of

1440
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:12,920
Speaker 1: myself all day long. And I didn't do it that

1441
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,880
Speaker 1: much this weekend because I was too busy. So I

1442
01:13:14,920 --> 01:13:16,680
Speaker 1: just got to get back on that and then I

1443
01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:20,639
Speaker 1: will feel better across the board. Um. I also took

1444
01:13:20,720 --> 01:13:23,519
Speaker 1: Lions Main supplement this morning. I don't recommend that it

1445
01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:25,439
Speaker 1: has changed nothing for me. It was supposed to give

1446
01:13:25,439 --> 01:13:27,400
Speaker 1: me like a pep in my step and like a

1447
01:13:27,479 --> 01:13:32,360
Speaker 1: better out look on life. It has not. It's bullshit. Amazon,

1448
01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:35,599
Speaker 1: you know, sold me a raw deal. Or maybe there's

1449
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:39,080
Speaker 1: some bad supplements, but Lions Main does not change your

1450
01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:44,880
Speaker 1: life or eliminate your problems. Supposed to help. It's supposed

1451
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:46,920
Speaker 1: to help with a d D and like just give

1452
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:51,559
Speaker 1: you energy and make you mentally focused. It's all of

1453
01:13:51,560 --> 01:13:53,799
Speaker 1: it's supposed to help with all that. My friend Elon

1454
01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:57,400
Speaker 1: Gold comedian, was like, it'll change your life, and I

1455
01:13:57,479 --> 01:13:59,719
Speaker 1: was like yes, And then I rushed room this weekend

1456
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:03,000
Speaker 1: and I, yeah, it's a kind of mushroom. So I've

1457
01:14:03,040 --> 01:14:06,280
Speaker 1: heard of this lions main. Yeah. I I don't recommend

1458
01:14:06,280 --> 01:14:08,080
Speaker 1: it. It It didn't do anything for me today. But I

1459
01:14:08,120 --> 01:14:10,120
Speaker 1: am back on track of drinking a lot of water

1460
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:13,839
Speaker 1: because I've realized all I drink is zvia soda. Literally

1461
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:16,519
Speaker 1: that's all I drink, and so I'm trying to drink

1462
01:14:16,600 --> 01:14:19,400
Speaker 1: more water. Um. These are the kinds of resolutions that

1463
01:14:19,439 --> 01:14:24,280
Speaker 1: I have. Um watch more like Downton Abbey type shows. Uh,

1464
01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:27,840
Speaker 1: watch more alone, spend more time in nature. I think

1465
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:30,120
Speaker 1: that is something I'm definitely getting into of, just like

1466
01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:33,479
Speaker 1: because I've been working on a treadmill recently and they

1467
01:14:33,479 --> 01:14:38,200
Speaker 1: have the little sim stimulate simulation simulated runs and walks

1468
01:14:38,240 --> 01:14:40,040
Speaker 1: and stuff, and a lot of them have been going

1469
01:14:40,080 --> 01:14:41,439
Speaker 1: through nature and I'm like, I want to go to

1470
01:14:41,479 --> 01:14:43,479
Speaker 1: this place, but it's in my small gym on a

1471
01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:46,720
Speaker 1: little screen, and even that as being like, Okay, I

1472
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:48,200
Speaker 1: can see how this would work, and I try to

1473
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:50,320
Speaker 1: get closer to the screen so I can immerse myself

1474
01:14:50,320 --> 01:14:52,000
Speaker 1: in it and maybe make it like an you know,

1475
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:55,200
Speaker 1: an IMAX experience or like you know, virtual reality, but

1476
01:14:55,200 --> 01:14:57,679
Speaker 1: it doesn't work that way. So um, watching the show

1477
01:14:57,720 --> 01:15:00,200
Speaker 1: alone and also on that treadmill has been encouraged me

1478
01:15:00,280 --> 01:15:01,880
Speaker 1: to get more out more. But then when I step

1479
01:15:01,920 --> 01:15:05,519
Speaker 1: outside about my headphones on, a cat asked me for help,

1480
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:07,360
Speaker 1: and then I get sad that the world is so

1481
01:15:07,439 --> 01:15:09,320
Speaker 1: cruel and little cats have to give birth and the

1482
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:12,280
Speaker 1: cold and the plushes. All right, guys, that's the podcast today.

1483
01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:14,040
Speaker 1: Thank you Anna for being here. Thank you know uh

1484
01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:17,360
Speaker 1: we look forward to all so much fun in this

1485
01:15:17,360 --> 01:15:19,840
Speaker 1: new year with the podcast, and um, thank you guys

1486
01:15:19,880 --> 01:15:22,160
Speaker 1: for listening today. And tomorrow will be a better day

1487
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:24,360
Speaker 1: for me. I can't wait to hear from you and

1488
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:27,720
Speaker 1: see you then. Don't be killed digit