Speaker 1: Welcome to Criminalia, a production of Shonda Land Audio in
Speaker 1: partnership with I Heart Radio. The Book of Revelation in
Speaker 1: the New Testament of the Christian Bible is interpreted in
Speaker 1: several ways. For some, it's an apocalyptic prophecy involving the
Speaker 1: second coming of Christ and the rapture of souls, and
Speaker 1: the imagery for that interpretation has been popular among artists
Speaker 1: over centuries, including the piece we're going to talk about
Speaker 1: in this episode, the Last Judgment. Ah ha, But some
Speaker 1: of you may be wondering which one that's right. There
Speaker 1: are a few last judgments, but only one has been
Speaker 1: stolen that we know of, So let's narrow that down.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Criminalia. I'm Rantram Marquis and I'm Holly Fry,
Speaker 1: And actually there are more less judgments than you might expect.
Speaker 1: In fact, we will begin with the first known work.
Speaker 1: Then we'll kind of make our way along the historical timeline.
Speaker 1: With so many out there, you may be wondering, has
Speaker 1: only one ben stolen? We'll find out along the way
Speaker 1: for sure. First we're going to jump back to the
Speaker 1: twelfth century. There is a mural painted from red tempera
Speaker 1: on the west wall of the nave of the Church
Speaker 1: of St. Peter and Paul at Childon Surrey. While it
Speaker 1: is not named the Last Judgment, it depicts various iconographic
Speaker 1: subjects from biblical stories of the end of the world.
Speaker 1: This piece contrasts the ideas of heaven and hell. Its
Speaker 1: upper half depicts the salvation of souls, its lower half
Speaker 1: depicts demons and sinners awaiting judgments. The mural, while it's
Speaker 1: had the most time in history to be injured or stolen,
Speaker 1: never has been. It is no doubt to help that
Speaker 1: it is painted directly onto the wall, and that's the
Speaker 1: case with some of the others on this list as well.
Speaker 1: A money lender named Enrico s Graveni commissioned a series
Speaker 1: of frescoes from Florentine painter Giotto, including a depiction of
Speaker 1: the biblical story of the Last Judgment. For this Scraveny
Speaker 1: chapel in Padua, Italy. Geogo completed the work around thirteen
Speaker 1: o six. In the center of the fresco is Christ
Speaker 1: surrounded by angels. The apostles are depicted on either side
Speaker 1: of him, each on their own throne, and the cross,
Speaker 1: which is seen below. Christ is carried by two angels
Speaker 1: dividing Heaven from Hell. Hell is depicted on the lower right,
Speaker 1: with Satan shown as a large blue figure in the center,
Speaker 1: surrounded by tortured souls and Nope. This one, too has
Speaker 1: been safe since its creation more than seven hundred years ago.
Speaker 1: Commissioned by the Countess of Egremont in eighteen o seven,
Speaker 1: who was inspired by Michelangelo's Last Judgment, William Blake created
Speaker 1: a piece in ink and watercolor entitled A Vision of
Speaker 1: the Last Judgment. Within the notes of his piece, Blake wrote, quote,
Speaker 1: whenever any individual rejects error and embraces truth, a last
Speaker 1: Judgment passes upon that individual his vision of the Last Judgment.
Speaker 1: It has been safe for more than two centuries. And
Speaker 1: then there's Philip the Good, Duke of Burgundy, who considered
Speaker 1: the artist Jan van Eyke, who was his court painter unequal.
Speaker 1: Van Ike's Crucifixion and Last Judgment Diptic was created in
Speaker 1: four six and consists of two small painted panels. Historians
Speaker 1: believed some areas may have been finished by unidentified members
Speaker 1: of his workshop, which actually wouldn't have been uncommon at
Speaker 1: that time. The idea of the workshop, a type of apprenticeship,
Speaker 1: was at the heart of many industries in the Italian Renaissance,
Speaker 1: including carpentry, baking, cobbling, painting, on and on. Van Ike
Speaker 1: was an innovator of what became known as the Early
Speaker 1: Netherlandish style of painting. There is a common misconception out
Speaker 1: there that seems to date back to a sixteenth century
Speaker 1: artist named Vita of the Tuscan, that van Ike invented
Speaker 1: oil painting, which that's just not true. It is, however, true,
Speaker 1: that he achieved, or you may even be able to say, perfected,
Speaker 1: new ways to develop oil mediums, to use glazes and
Speaker 1: oil resin varnishes as well as drying oils. He's also
Speaker 1: credited with originating a style of painting that relied on
Speaker 1: realistic depictions of surface effects in natural light, all made
Speaker 1: possible with those new ways of building up oil paints
Speaker 1: and translucent layers. So though van Eyek is known to
Speaker 1: have the most stolen art piece of all time, yes,
Speaker 1: of all time, it's not his last judgment that's among
Speaker 1: the thieves most wanted piece of art. That takes us
Speaker 1: to another early Netherlandish painter named Hieronymous Bosch that was
Speaker 1: actually the pseudonym of your own Van Akin Bosch is
Speaker 1: known for his dream like pieces painted in oil on
Speaker 1: oakwood and containing fantastical illustrations of religious concepts and narratives.
Speaker 1: His version of the Last Judgment lies across three panels
Speaker 1: and it takes us from the biblical story of the
Speaker 1: Garden of Eden to a book of revelation hell Escape
Speaker 1: where the damned are punished. The Last Judgment trip Tick,
Speaker 1: created sometime around fourteen two, is part of the permanent
Speaker 1: collection of the Academy of Fine Arts in Vienna. While
Speaker 1: Bosh's works have gone missing in the past, including the
Speaker 1: rare piece Temptation of Saint Anthony, stolen from the Chrysler
Speaker 1: Art Museum in Provincetown, Massachusetts in nineteen seventy, as well
Speaker 1: as the Conjuror, which was stolen from the Museum of
Speaker 1: suburban Saint Germain Lay in ninety eight, there is no
Speaker 1: record of his Last Judgment ever having been stolen. And
Speaker 1: then there was Lucas Senior Relli, an Italian Renaissance painter.
Speaker 1: His depiction of the Last Judgment can be found in
Speaker 1: the Chapel of San Brizio and features the Biblical stories
Speaker 1: of bodies of the damned awaiting judgment. Seniorrelli completed more
Speaker 1: than one piece at that chapel, including this one, between
Speaker 1: fourteen and fifteen o nine. His Last Judgment Fresco is
Speaker 1: widely considered the inspiration for the now famous image of
Speaker 1: fearful Souls in another work called The Last Judgment, that
Speaker 1: one created by Michelangelo and unveiled on October thirty one
Speaker 1: fifty one. Each of these works has focused on the
Speaker 1: Book of Revelation in the New Testament of the Christian Bible,
Speaker 1: telling the story of the second Coming of Christ and
Speaker 1: God's eternal judgment of all humanity, and michel Angelo's painting
Speaker 1: is no different. Though his work of Fresco is grand
Speaker 1: in scale, it covers the entire altar wall of the
Speaker 1: Sistine Chapel in the Apostolic Palace in Vatican City. The
Speaker 1: Italian artist was primarily a sculptor and not a painter,
Speaker 1: but he created one of the most well known Renaissance paintings.
Speaker 1: This painting depicts more than three hundred souls surrounding a
Speaker 1: central figure, a depiction of Christ. There is, for those
Speaker 1: of you who like the hidden details, a self portrait
Speaker 1: of Michelangelo sneaked into an unexpected place in this painting,
Speaker 1: the artist rendered himself as the flayed skin of St. Bartholomew,
Speaker 1: who was one of the twelve apostles of Jesus according
Speaker 1: to Christian theology, and who was said to have been
Speaker 1: flayed alive. If you have ever seen this, it is
Speaker 1: quite a striking image, quite an interesting choice to use
Speaker 1: as your self portrait. Renaissance painter and architect Georgio Vasari's
Speaker 1: book The Lives of the Most Excellent was a series
Speaker 1: of artist biographies. The Sari was very prominent on the
Speaker 1: art scene at the time that Michelangelo was working. In it,
Speaker 1: he wrote about Michelangelo and specifically of the last Judgment,
Speaker 1: quote he threw it open to view in the year
Speaker 1: of fifty one, I believe on Christmas Day to the
Speaker 1: marvel of all Rome, nay of the whole world. And
Speaker 1: I who was that year in Venice and went to
Speaker 1: Rome to see it, was struck dumb by its beauty.
Speaker 1: Michel Angelo's contemporary Nino Sernini, reported on this work to
Speaker 1: Cardinal Gonzaga, and in that report he wrote, quote, it
Speaker 1: is of such beauty that your Excellency can imagine that
Speaker 1: there is no lack of those who condemn it, but
Speaker 1: those who condemned it, and there were quite a few,
Speaker 1: did not steal it. The creations of the Last Judgments
Speaker 1: didn't end with Michelangelo's masterpiece. Between eighteen fifty one and
Speaker 1: eighteen fifty three, English Romantic painter John Martin painted a
Speaker 1: Last Judgment triptych depicting the planes of heaven and the
Speaker 1: great day of his wrath. The Christian God is depicted
Speaker 1: sitting on a throne in heaven, surrounded by four archangels Michael, Gabriel, Raphael,
Speaker 1: and Uriel, and by the elders of the Revelation below them.
Speaker 1: On the left you see those saved waiting to ascend
Speaker 1: to heaven. The damned are found on the right, tumbling
Speaker 1: down a bottomless pit. Martin was known to feature real
Speaker 1: life people in his paintings, including this one, and notable
Speaker 1: persons among the saved, for instance, are Copernicus and Shakespeare. Again,
Speaker 1: though this is a depiction of the Last Judgment that's
Speaker 1: been lucky enough to never have been nicked. It keeps going,
Speaker 1: but we are coming to the end of the Last
Speaker 1: Judgment lists. If you were in the market for a
Speaker 1: depiction of the Christian apocalypse, there were a lot to
Speaker 1: choose from. Obviously, Russian artist Viktor Vasnetsov gave us an
Speaker 1: early twentieth century depiction of the Last Judgment that was
Speaker 1: created for St. George's Cathedral and Gus Kristalani and commissioned
Speaker 1: by U. S. Natziev Matzev, who coincidentally had also funded
Speaker 1: the building of the cathedral. That painting, completed in nineteen
Speaker 1: o four, depicts Christ at the top of the piece,
Speaker 1: with the Virgin Mary on the left and John the
Speaker 1: Baptist on the right. Souls are seen waiting for salvation,
Speaker 1: and Satan can be seen taunting those destined for hell.
Speaker 1: Another Russian artist and one of the pioneers of abstract
Speaker 1: modern art, Vasily Kandinsky, created his own Last Judgment. Kandynski's
Speaker 1: features in irregular black shape at the center of the work,
Speaker 1: surrounded by colorful lines and dots, as well as shapes
Speaker 1: of various sizes, some open ended and some closed. That
Speaker 1: piece is part of a series of paintings featuring biblical themes,
Speaker 1: including the Resurrection Jonah and the Whale and the Great Flood,
Speaker 1: and those were produced by Kendynski between nineteen twelve and
Speaker 1: nineteen thirteen. None of the works in that series have
Speaker 1: been stolen, and this leaves us with one more last judgment.
Speaker 1: This one is a triptych painted by Hans Memling, a
Speaker 1: piece he started in fourteen sixty seven and completed in
Speaker 1: fourteen seventy one. Out of so many, yes, this is
Speaker 1: the one. It is the one. This last judgment was
Speaker 1: stolen in the late fifteenth century, but not by sleight
Speaker 1: of hand or by skirting alarm systems or any sort
Speaker 1: of Hollywood like stunt work. It was looted by pirates.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, there were pirates. We are going to
Speaker 1: take a break for a word from our sponsor, and
Speaker 1: when we're back we will talk about who Hans Memling
Speaker 1: was and how important he was to the early Netherlandish
Speaker 1: painting movement. Welcome back to Criminalia. We've described all the
Speaker 1: other works, so let's talk about what memlings last judgment
Speaker 1: looks like. Memling's Last Judgment, trip Tik is one of
Speaker 1: the world's best preserved examples of early Netherlandish painting. Spanning
Speaker 1: a timeline of more than five hundred years. The work
Speaker 1: has never been severely damaged, despite some pretty thrilling adventures
Speaker 1: it's been on. This is a well traveled piece of art.
Speaker 1: This piece tells the story of the end of days
Speaker 1: as described in Christian theology in the Revelation of St. John.
Speaker 1: It depicts the biblical figures of Christ and the archangel
Speaker 1: Michael during the final Judgment story in the Christian Bible.
Speaker 1: Depicted as the Judge, Christ appears on a rainbow with
Speaker 1: his feet resting on a golden orb, considered a symbol
Speaker 1: of the universe. He is surrounded by the apostles. Michael
Speaker 1: in golden armor is weighing souls of those who have
Speaker 1: risen from the dead. Above them are angels. Below are
Speaker 1: the Virgin Mary and John the Baptist. The right hand
Speaker 1: panel features saved souls walking up to the gates of Heaven.
Speaker 1: The left hand side depicts the scene where the damn
Speaker 1: are cast down into eternal damnation, so Membling himself. Memling
Speaker 1: was most likely born between fourteen thirty five and fourteen
Speaker 1: forty in dot near Frankfurt in today's Germany, and probably
Speaker 1: spent his childhood in Minds. We know he's spent almost
Speaker 1: thirty years of his life as an artist working in Bruge,
Speaker 1: but we only have bits and pieces of information about
Speaker 1: the details of his life there. It's known that he
Speaker 1: became a citizen of Bruges in January of fourteen sixty five.
Speaker 1: We know he married Anna Valkanair sometime between fourteen seventy
Speaker 1: and fourteen eighty, and that the couple had children at
Speaker 1: least three sons. By fourteen eighty, Memmling owned three homes
Speaker 1: and had become one of the wealthiest men in the city.
Speaker 1: He was much acclaimed as an artist in his own lifetime,
Speaker 1: something not every artist gets to enjoy. When recording his
Speaker 1: death in fourteen ninety four, the notary of Bruce described
Speaker 1: Memmling as quote the most skillful painter in the whole
Speaker 1: of Christendom. While there have been ups and downs among
Speaker 1: critics and art historians over the centuries about the validity
Speaker 1: of his works, he is now today considered a major
Speaker 1: Northern Renaissance artist. One problem here that triptych does not
Speaker 1: bear Memling signature, and that has led to it being
Speaker 1: attributed to various Netherlandish painters throughout history, including Jan Vanik,
Speaker 1: who we mentioned creating his own Last Judgment, but also
Speaker 1: Roger van der Veiden, who was Memling's mentor. Hugo van
Speaker 1: der Goes Albert von Uvetter, and Michael Volgemut have all
Speaker 1: been considered at various times. It was German art historian
Speaker 1: Gustav Hodo who in eighteen forty three saw Memling's distinct
Speaker 1: hand in the Last Judgment, though in nineteen o one.
Speaker 1: In nineteen o two, German art historian and cultural theorist
Speaker 1: Abby Warburg added Hotels thesis to his publications, and the
Speaker 1: Memling Triptych has been an undisputed Memling work pretty much
Speaker 1: ever since. Today there are upwards of eighty paintings known
Speaker 1: as his, and the list is growing. Memling is known
Speaker 1: for his work in early Netherlandish art style, as well
Speaker 1: as Flemish art and the gent Bruges school. He was
Speaker 1: likely at least at first schooled in the art styles
Speaker 1: trending in Cologne before he traveled to Bruge. It's in
Speaker 1: Bruge where he trained in the workshop of internationally known
Speaker 1: Flemish painter Rogier vander Widen, probably between fourteen fifty nine
Speaker 1: and fourteen sixty four. Once in Bruge, he quickly began
Speaker 1: receiving commissions from its wealthy and influential residence, and this
Speaker 1: is where he settled. He began to specialize in small
Speaker 1: diptics and triptics for individual devotion, but it was Membling's
Speaker 1: portraits in particular that were popular, and especially popular in Italy.
Speaker 1: According to Paula Natal, an art historian specializing in the Renaissance,
Speaker 1: memlings distinctive style in his portraits came from his use
Speaker 1: of landscape backgrounds by quote, a balanced counterpart between top
Speaker 1: and bottom, foreground and background, the head offset by the
Speaker 1: neutral expanse of sky and the neutral area of the
Speaker 1: shoulders enlivened by the landscape detail beyond. His style influenced
Speaker 1: the work of numerous fifteenth century Italian painters and can
Speaker 1: be seen in pieces such as Raphael's Madelenadoni. But it
Speaker 1: wasn't one of his portraits that was stolen. So we're
Speaker 1: going to take a break for a word from our sponsors,
Speaker 1: and when we return we will talk about who Angelo
Speaker 1: Tani was and why he probably never saw Memlings last judgment,
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Criminalia. Let's talk about how conflict between
Speaker 1: England and the Hanseiotic League led to the perhaps unintentional
Speaker 1: theft of memlings triptic. Angelo Tani, an ancient of the
Speaker 1: Medici Bank in Bruges was the triptics patron, and he
Speaker 1: commissioned it in fourteen sixty five. In fact, when the
Speaker 1: triptic is closed, Tony and his wife are shown kneeling
Speaker 1: in prayer. We read about this piece that it was
Speaker 1: supposed to be hung in a chapel in Florence, but
Speaker 1: though not all reports suggested this, we did see that
Speaker 1: it was intended to hang as the altar piece for
Speaker 1: a new private chapel in Fiesole in Tuscany, near the
Speaker 1: city of Florence, where the Badia Fia Solana is currently located.
Speaker 1: Before April three, you'll find no mention actually of memoins
Speaker 1: last judgment triptych nothing. On that day it was loaded
Speaker 1: under Burgundian flag aboard the San Mateo, a galley bound
Speaker 1: from Bruge to Florence, Italy via the English coast. Two
Speaker 1: days later the San Mateo, when the vessel entered English waters,
Speaker 1: well that's when things went sideways. Here the vessel was
Speaker 1: overtaken by a ship under the Hanseatic League also known
Speaker 1: as the Hansa, which was at the time at war
Speaker 1: with England. So for more than four hundred years, the
Speaker 1: Hanseatic League shaped Northern Europe. It's economy, trade, its politics,
Speaker 1: and this continued well into the seventeenth century. At its peak,
Speaker 1: the network was an alliance of trading guilds that included
Speaker 1: more than two hundred towns, mainly around the Baltic Sea
Speaker 1: and Inland up to Cologne or Hurt and Krakoff. The
Speaker 1: league extended far beyond this area, though, with trading posts
Speaker 1: running on routes from Portugal to Russia, Finland to the Mediterranean.
Speaker 1: In Bruge, London and Bergen, the long distance traders founded
Speaker 1: large foreign trading posts. Smaller ones were established in many
Speaker 1: other cities on their roots. The long distance merchants joined
Speaker 1: forces to boost business, of course, but also to better
Speaker 1: protect themselves against pirates. The conflict that catalyzed the events
Speaker 1: we're talking about was fought between England, specifically against the
Speaker 1: English merchant community's expansion, and the Hanseatic League, and lasted
Speaker 1: from roughly fourteen sixty nine to fourteen seventy four. It
Speaker 1: was during this Anglohnsiatic War when the Membling triptych was
Speaker 1: stolen at So the first recorded artist in history involves
Speaker 1: something that we know a little bit about from one
Speaker 1: of our earlier seasons pirates. Paul Bennicky was a Godons
Speaker 1: town council leader, and he was a pirate. Technically he
Speaker 1: was a privateer because he got paid for his piracy gigs.
Speaker 1: But really I think we all learned a few seasons
Speaker 1: ago that a pirate is a pirate is a pirate.
Speaker 1: He was commissioned by Lubeck, head of the Hanseatic League,
Speaker 1: to captain the ship Peter von Danzig. Danzig is the
Speaker 1: German name for the city of Godons, which throughout history
Speaker 1: has had periods of Polish, Prussian, and German rule. Today
Speaker 1: it is one of the oldest cities in Poland. As
Speaker 1: a result of the conflict between England and the Hanseatic League,
Speaker 1: Captain Bennecky Stalked, attacked, and boarded the Florence boundship transporting
Speaker 1: the Last Judgment. The painting never reached Italy. As this
Speaker 1: is generally accepted as the first document minted instance of
Speaker 1: modern art theft. To some historians, that indicates memlings paintings
Speaker 1: were beginning to be seen as worthy as gold, silver,
Speaker 1: maybe even precious stones, items of value you might find
Speaker 1: in a pirates loot. When private collectors became interested in art,
Speaker 1: which was roughly at the beginning of the sixteenth century.
Speaker 1: Some paintings and works by certain artists became worth the
Speaker 1: steel because of the payoff. Others, though, consider Memlings worked
Speaker 1: to have just been in the wrong place at the
Speaker 1: wrong time. In the North Sea, Bennecky commandeered the galley
Speaker 1: and sailed it and all of its cargo, including the
Speaker 1: membling piece, as well as textiles, leather, furs, valuable album
Speaker 1: and more, back to Poland, specifically to the port city
Speaker 1: of Gdansk on the Baltic coast of Poland. There was
Speaker 1: just to make note, one report that suggested that Bennecky
Speaker 1: alternatively tugged the vessel to the port of Stop. All
Speaker 1: of the stolen cargo fell into the possession of the
Speaker 1: pirates or I'm sorry, the privateers. At first, they gave
Speaker 1: their load to the local nobles, who then in turn
Speaker 1: gave everything to what is now St. Mary's Basilica in
Speaker 1: the center of the city. Angelo Tani, who commissioned the
Speaker 1: last judgment, not surprisingly objected to the seizure, and the
Speaker 1: issue was taken up in papal court. Benniket's looting was
Speaker 1: defended on the basis that the seizure had been a
Speaker 1: legitimate act of war, as the Ansiotic League had been
Speaker 1: at war with England at the time it was taken,
Speaker 1: so case closed. The triptych was hung on one of
Speaker 1: the pillars of the Goddon's Chapel of St. George, where
Speaker 1: it stayed for more than three hundred years. Fast forward
Speaker 1: a little bit to the sixteenth century. Rudolf the second
Speaker 1: Holy Roman Emperor admired Memling's work and wanted to buy
Speaker 1: the triptych for forty thou sailers sailors if you're not
Speaker 1: familiar at the time where large silver coins minted in
Speaker 1: the states and territories of the Holy Roman Empire. But
Speaker 1: that offer, which was pretty generous, was turned down by
Speaker 1: the city of Goadonsk in seventeen Sixteenszar Peter the First
Speaker 1: was not as subtle as to request its purchase. He
Speaker 1: just demanded that Memling's last judgment be handed over as
Speaker 1: a token of gratitude for peace negotiations that had been
Speaker 1: favorable for the city. Goodonsk city officials, though once again decline.
Speaker 1: It wasn't until eighteen o seven when the French, led
Speaker 1: by Martial of Febre, conquered Goadonsk that the painting was
Speaker 1: given a new home, although no it was not returned
Speaker 1: to its owner. The painting was shipped to the newly
Speaker 1: established Napoleon Museum in the Louver in Paris, and it
Speaker 1: was there actually where it was erroneously considered to be
Speaker 1: the work of Jan van Ike. It remained there for
Speaker 1: eight years until it was sent to Berlin. It was
Speaker 1: returned to Goodonsk in eighteen seventeen through diplomatic efforts by
Speaker 1: the city council and an intervention by the King of Prussia.
Speaker 1: It was placed once again in St. Mary's Basilica, where
Speaker 1: it stayed until the final days of the Second World War.
Speaker 1: It was hidden for its safety during the war, but
Speaker 1: was ultimately looted by the Red Army and taken to
Speaker 1: the Hermitage in Leningrad. Post World War Two, Poland became
Speaker 1: the new rightful owner under new international treaties, and in
Speaker 1: y six the last Judgment was at least initially hung
Speaker 1: in the National Museum in Warsaw. It was later moved
Speaker 1: to the Pomeranian Museum, which became the National Museum and
Speaker 1: gnounced in and that's where you can still visit it
Speaker 1: today if you were interested. The Memblane triptych, which we've
Speaker 1: learned should never have actually been in dust to begin with,
Speaker 1: remains the only work of the Flemish artist in any
Speaker 1: collection in museums across all of Poland. And that is
Speaker 1: the story of the second last judgment. There's so many
Speaker 1: any it's time for heist hooch. And the thing that
Speaker 1: of course struck me about this entire story, it's just
Speaker 1: how much this guy moved around, which is a lot. Yes,
Speaker 1: that got me thinking about the idea of so many
Speaker 1: people claiming ownership over it, and the one person who
Speaker 1: actually technically should have owned it never getting to never
Speaker 1: saw it, never even saw it, did not have the Internet,
Speaker 1: then he cannot look it up. I am calling this
Speaker 1: one Tonny's lament. I appreciate that he is being uplifted
Speaker 1: here because he really falls down in the story. He
Speaker 1: is and then there's a spirit I chose to represent
Speaker 1: him in a way and you'll hear what it is
Speaker 1: in a moment and you'll be like predictable, but also
Speaker 1: I hope funny. One of the things that I wanted
Speaker 1: to do was build a drink that represented all of
Speaker 1: the countries where mem his last judgment has lived. Good
Speaker 1: luck getting a glass that big. Well, you gotta be
Speaker 1: a little bit judicious so that you don't just get trash, right,
Speaker 1: because that's a lot of stuff. First, I'm going to
Speaker 1: tell you what gets included to represent eachthing, and then
Speaker 1: we'll do the actual measures of the drink. So, since
Speaker 1: it was intended for either Florence or just outside of it,
Speaker 1: but it never made it there, Mr Tony never got
Speaker 1: what he wanted. The bitter appair tief Campari is going
Speaker 1: to be in the mix because I would be real
Speaker 1: bitter about this whole life. But I weren't telling his wife.
Speaker 1: He's like, when they close it, it's the two of us.
Speaker 1: So beautiful, honey, it's gonna be amazing. I've never seen it,
Speaker 1: so yeah, it's Campari. Also, we did, if you remember,
Speaker 1: a while back, I did a drink that was trying
Speaker 1: to make friends with the Negroni, which has Campari, and
Speaker 1: so I have it on hand. I gotta find more
Speaker 1: ways to use it. I think I have here. Poland
Speaker 1: has to be highly represented as well, obviously because it's
Speaker 1: lived there for a long time. This one is a
Speaker 1: two fur right, We're combining Poland and Russia, because we're
Speaker 1: gonna get some vodka in the mix, and I specifically
Speaker 1: suggest a spirit that appeared on our show at the
Speaker 1: very beginning, which is bison grass vodka. You're going all
Speaker 1: the way back like origin story. I still have a
Speaker 1: little bit in my bottle of Zabraca, which is one
Speaker 1: of my favorite brands of vodka. We are not paid
Speaker 1: in any way for a neighbor, so I just legitimately
Speaker 1: love that vodka, and it's a Polish vodka and it
Speaker 1: is delicious, so that, as I said, continues to be
Speaker 1: a favor. You don't have to have that specific kind
Speaker 1: of vodka, and if you don't have bison grass, that's fine.
Speaker 1: Just a good neutral vodka will work here. And then
Speaker 1: we don't want to keep adding spirits because this will
Speaker 1: get sloppy. So next I went to crops. So Belgium
Speaker 1: and Germany fortunately have a lot of crossover crops, so
Speaker 1: this drink is going to feature both apple and cherry flavors.
Speaker 1: I know it would have been obvious to do a
Speaker 1: beer cocktail because of Belgium, but I don't love those frankly.
Speaker 1: But also it stayed in France for a minute, so
Speaker 1: we're going to include some lemon juice. Now, citrus might
Speaker 1: not be what you think of when you think of
Speaker 1: European crops, but the south of France has actually become
Speaker 1: really well known for its lemon groves. Those are specifically
Speaker 1: called ment in lemons because of the region that they
Speaker 1: grow in, which have very productive trees. They produce like
Speaker 1: more per branch than other lemon trees. But for today,
Speaker 1: regular lemon juice, and you're also gonna in the mix
Speaker 1: of that, have some raspberry syrup. Raspberries also grow in
Speaker 1: belgiumin Germany, and here we go. So you're gonna put
Speaker 1: one ounce of campari, one ounce of your vodka, one
Speaker 1: ounce of lemon juice, and one ounce of raspberry syrup
Speaker 1: in your shaker. Next you were adding to this two
Speaker 1: ounces of cherry water. Now, when I say that, what
Speaker 1: I mean is like there are various companies that do
Speaker 1: healthy waters that have a lot of faver. You want
Speaker 1: one of those cherry versions of that. And because there
Speaker 1: that's a water, we're not gonna do ice in this shaker.
Speaker 1: We're gonna what's called dry shaking, which just means you're
Speaker 1: not putting ice in the tin. The ice in your
Speaker 1: tin is to help dilute your alcohols, but since that
Speaker 1: is a water item, you don't need to do that.
Speaker 1: You just want to shake it. I do suggest pre
Speaker 1: chilling your glass so that you have an extra cold drink,
Speaker 1: because it's shaking also makes things cold, and if you
Speaker 1: don't have ice in there, you won't get the same
Speaker 1: level of chill. So put that glass in the fridge.
Speaker 1: When you're first starting this, you want to put your
Speaker 1: ice in and then put it in the fridge. Great,
Speaker 1: you're gonna shaky shake it. You're gonna strain it over
Speaker 1: fresh ice into that chilled glass, and then you're gonna
Speaker 1: top it with another thing that's shown up on the
Speaker 1: show before hard cider. This is yummy. I have officially
Speaker 1: made friends with Campari. It took me a minute, and
Speaker 1: I will say because that is a unique flavor that
Speaker 1: does have a lot, it is really the prevailing flavor
Speaker 1: if you're not careful. I had to do a lot
Speaker 1: of tweakies to get proportions where I wanted them to
Speaker 1: become friends. We had to have a lot to become friends.
Speaker 1: We had to know exactly how much of that friend
Speaker 1: I am willing to deal with one ounce plus one
Speaker 1: ounce of vodka. Now, a mocktail version of this is
Speaker 1: a little bit tricky, but it's doable. So your lemon juice,
Speaker 1: your raspberry syrup, your cherry water, those are all obviously easy.
Speaker 1: Keep them in lieu of your hard cider. You're just
Speaker 1: gonna do a not hard cider. Now the tricky part, right,
Speaker 1: you can just skip the vodka. And here's what I
Speaker 1: would do in lieu of cumpari. First of all, if
Speaker 1: you can brew a uh An orange tea, I would
Speaker 1: use that. I would hard brew that thing. I would
Speaker 1: let it steep for a while. And even though you
Speaker 1: have already used that, I would also this is a
Speaker 1: place where garnish can really help make up the gap
Speaker 1: between a cocktail and a mocktail. You want to get
Speaker 1: your a little coin, a little piece of orange peel.
Speaker 1: You want to make sure you rub the rim of
Speaker 1: your glass so that it gets those oils from the thing.
Speaker 1: You want the outside edge of the peel. If you
Speaker 1: do the inside, the white pithy part, it's really bitter
Speaker 1: and you don't want to put that to your mouth.
Speaker 1: So that's what I would do for the mocktail, and
Speaker 1: I would keep pretty much the same proportions for everything
Speaker 1: you can tweak. At that point, you may want to
Speaker 1: throttle back a little bit on the syrup so it
Speaker 1: doesn't get too sweet, because in this case, that's like
Speaker 1: an ounce of syrup is because you are countering that
Speaker 1: ounce of very toothy and bity kampari. If you love kampari,
Speaker 1: and some people do, then you're golden and you know,
Speaker 1: don't worry about any of this. That is Tanny's lament.
Speaker 1: And as I've said before, because I often do these
Speaker 1: drinks in the mornings before we record, I don't usually
Speaker 1: drink the whole thing. But I didn't even mean to.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, I'm down to rocks.
Speaker 1: I got nothing but ice left. What happened here? That
Speaker 1: was delicious? That was good? Say keep all of these
Speaker 1: ingredients out for later. Yes, I will for sure make another.
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful red color, so it's I was about
Speaker 1: to ask when it's you know that campari is packs
Speaker 1: a lot of pigments, very red. I imagine It's really
Speaker 1: not like it doesn't look deluted down in here. It
Speaker 1: all because you're adding in Jerry raspberry. The raspberry syrup
Speaker 1: also adds red and depending on what syrup you're you use.
Speaker 1: This gets a little in the weeds in terms of
Speaker 1: like color, but like campari is a very orangey looking red,
Speaker 1: the raspberry syrup I used was a very blue based red,
Speaker 1: and so they ended up with a neutral, kind of
Speaker 1: pure clean red, which is nice anyway. Red. Uh, get
Speaker 1: to the red of your liking, right, Tunny's lament because
Speaker 1: I'd be bitter if somebody took my painting. If I
Speaker 1: commissioned a painting and it got stolen by pirates, I'm
Speaker 1: not sure that I would not behave in a manner
Speaker 1: that is illegal in band. I think I would hunt
Speaker 1: them down. Don't don't do that. Don't do bad things.
Speaker 1: But it would be hard because I imagine it was
Speaker 1: not inexpensive and also seemed to be something that he
Speaker 1: was very much looking forward to. We hope that you
Speaker 1: look forward to the time you spend with us. We
Speaker 1: sure look forward to it, and thank you for spending
Speaker 1: this time hanging out with us talking about art, heists
Speaker 1: and drinks. We will be right back here again next
Speaker 1: week with more of that Criminalia. Criminalia is a production
Speaker 1: of Shonda land Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from Shonda land Audio, Please visit the
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.