1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,639 Speaker 1: Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Buck 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: up and hold on time. We got it for you, 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:10,399 Speaker 1: Starberry letter. Okay, subject, he wanted it before, but he 4 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: doesn't want it now. I surely and Steve, I am 5 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,640 Speaker 1: not one to have let a man walk over me. However, 6 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: a few months back I met someone who made me 7 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:24,959 Speaker 1: let go of the guard I had held up in 8 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,280 Speaker 1: protection of my heart. In November, I met a guy 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: eleven years my senior, and he seemed ideal despite my 10 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: self professed problem with being hyper sexual. He saw me 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: as the intellectual female that I am, and he treated 12 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: me spectacularly. My safety mattered to him, and he didn't 13 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 1: mind letting me know. Fast forward six months and I 14 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: lay here crying because he claims he doesn't want a relationship. 15 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: He knows that I'm in love with him, and he 16 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: uses this because he knows that is my weakness. He'll 17 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: call upon me for sexual encounters and then makes me 18 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: tell him I love him during sex. I fell in 19 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 1: love with the man who is my protector many months back, 20 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 1: who told me things that I had never heard before. 21 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: Where did that person go? I keep trying to break away, 22 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: and the cycle continues because I am weak for this man. 23 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: What am I to do? Wow? Okay, First of all, 24 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: go back to the beginning of your letter where you 25 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: say I am not the one to have let a 26 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: man walk over me. Well, where is she? Where is 27 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: that woman? What happened to her? You know, I'm just 28 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 1: gonna need you to bring her back, first of all, 29 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: and I need you to wake up. Stop professing that 30 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 1: you are hypersexual. I mean, what does that mean anyway? 31 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 1: Stuff that you know he'll use against you, he'll use 32 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: to manipulate you to do what he wants you to do. 33 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,320 Speaker 1: And he has you right now just where he wants you. 34 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, did he hypnotize you or something? 35 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: You know, he can call you on the phone, come 36 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: to me, and you'll just calm because he says it 37 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: because you're weak for him. I mean, he can't do 38 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: anything to you that you don't allow him to do. 39 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: As we have said one hundred and one million times 40 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: on this show. You know, I just need you to 41 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: wake up and be that other woman, the one who 42 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: doesn't let people walk over them, because clearly this man 43 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: is just doing what having his way with you. But 44 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: he can't do that again unless you say it's okay, 45 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: and you've apparently given him the okay, you know this 46 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: is just crazy. He's just eleven years older than you, 47 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: he has more game than you, and you know in 48 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: this instance he's winning. So you got to wake up 49 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 1: and just stop letting him do this to you. Steve, 50 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: say no, Sometimes you don't have to go every time 51 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: he calls. Steve. First of all, Sherley, agree with everything 52 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: you said. Great response, Great ass. Here's the way I'll 53 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: see it. Shirley's right. What happened to the woman who 54 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: opened up the door gate? What? I'm not one to 55 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: let him man walk all over me. You met a 56 00:02:55,600 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: guy eleven years you've seen and he seemed ideal. Now 57 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:04,080 Speaker 1: here's the problem with your letter, though, despite my self 58 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: professed problem with being hyper sexual, see this is your 59 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: self professed problem. Why you shared that with him, I 60 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 1: do not know. Maybe it was to let him know 61 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: you're gonna really want it all the time, or whatever 62 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: whatever that means. I guess that's it. And eleven years 63 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,639 Speaker 1: you're seeing you, maybe you fail. I got to tell 64 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: him this how I really am not and it's a 65 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: problem of mine. Okay, But then he saw you as 66 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: the intellectual female that I am, and he treated me spectacular. 67 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: My safety matter to him and he didn't mind letting 68 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: me know. Fast forward your crying because he doesn't want 69 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: a relationship. I did not hear anywhere in your letter 70 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 1: where he said he wanted a relationship. I didn't hear 71 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:56,760 Speaker 1: any of that. All of this is you. You got 72 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: this figured out. You let you met someone who made 73 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: me let go of my god, who let my guard down. 74 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: You let your god down without putting your problem down. 75 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: Now in this letter, I have to ask you this question. 76 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: Is your problem him or is your problem your hypersexual problem? 77 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: Because you know if it's him, then we can fix that. 78 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:30,280 Speaker 1: If hypersexual is your problem, then this is gonna occur 79 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: again and again and again because you're hypersexual. But it 80 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: didn't say you were promisculous. So if you love having 81 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: sex with these guys you meet, and that becomes the 82 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: preeminent thing in the relationship, he saw your intellectual side. 83 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,919 Speaker 1: You told him this the real meato, this is my 84 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: professed problem upfront. So you told a guy that's what 85 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,719 Speaker 1: you had to have. Now guess what now to hang 86 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: on to it, all he got to do is play 87 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: on that, and that's what you're creating. When I come back, 88 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 1: I have a solution for you. I'm actually going to 89 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 1: show you a way out of this. I love it. 90 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: Code Cracker right now with part two of Today's Strawberry Letter. 91 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: He wanted it before, but he doesn't want it now. 92 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: How Shell and Steve. I'm not wanting to let a 93 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 1: man walk over me. However, a few months back, I 94 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 1: met someone who made me let go of the god 95 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: I had held up in protection of my heart. And 96 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,679 Speaker 1: November one, I met a guy eleven years my senior, 97 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,599 Speaker 1: and he seemed ideal despite my self professed problem with 98 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 1: being hyper sexual. He saw me as an intellectual female 99 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: that I am, and he treated me spectacular. My safety 100 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: matter to him and he didn't mind letting me know that. 101 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: Fast forward six months later, I lay here crime because 102 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: he claims he doesn't want a relationship. He knows I'm 103 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,919 Speaker 1: in love with him, and because of this, he he 104 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: knows that I'm in love with him and uses this 105 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,479 Speaker 1: because he knows that it's my weakness. He'll call upon 106 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: me for sexual encounters and then makes me tell him 107 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,159 Speaker 1: I love him doing sex. I fell in love with 108 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: the man who was my protector many months back he 109 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: told me things I'd never heard before. Where did that 110 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: person go? I keep trying to break away, and the 111 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: cycle continues because I am weak for this man. What 112 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: am I to do? It's not that you're really weak 113 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: for this man, It's just that you have a problem. 114 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 1: And see, once you let your guard down without putting 115 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: your problem down, as I stated earlier, they aalize your 116 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 1: real problem. The problem is your hypersexual Now I looked 117 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: up hypersexual because this woman obviously has diagnosed herself with 118 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: the real problem of being hypersexual. Okay, here's the definition 119 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: of hypersexual. It is the inability to control thoughts, feelings, 120 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: or sexual behavior. Your thoughts of sex, your feelings about sex, 121 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: and your behavior about saying your inability to control that. 122 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: That's the definition according to the dictionary for hypersexual. Okay, 123 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: once you told the man this, guess what he had 124 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,919 Speaker 1: a new toy. Right, Oh, I'm gonna play with the 125 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: hypersexual girl. Now you didn't fell in love with a 126 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: problem problem him and you hypersexual. Now you're then told 127 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: us to the guy without establishing up front what you wanted. See, 128 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 1: once again, ladies, I didn't hear and hear what a 129 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 1: man said he wanted a relationship. He was just providing 130 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: protection for you. He said some things you had never 131 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: heard before. So damn what, I got a bunch of 132 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: first time lines for you if that's all they take. 133 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: He eleven years older than you. He didn't done some 134 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: things you ain't done eleven years. Come on, man, it's 135 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: got been around the block. Here's here's your here's your deal. 136 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: See you saying here. He knows that I'm in love 137 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: with He knows that I'm in love with him, and 138 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 1: he uses this because he knows this is my weakness. 139 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: Love is not your weakness. Love is a strength. Let 140 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:49,520 Speaker 1: me help you understand something irks. Love is not a weakness. 141 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: Love is a strength. Ain't nothing wrong with love. Love overcomes, 142 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: Love wins. Love causes you to do right when you 143 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: want to do wrong. Love make you go home and night. 144 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: Love make you show up when you feel like laying down. 145 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: Love is a strength. Your weakness is your problem. You 146 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: need to go get some help with being sexually a hyper. 147 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 1: You need to solve that problem because this is just 148 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: gonna happen again and again and again. But let me 149 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: tell you something about men in case you ain't got 150 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,360 Speaker 1: money for a therapist. See you say, he uses this 151 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: against me because he knows I love them. Let me 152 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: tell you somebody, man, here's a simple therapeutic moment you 153 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: can have with any man. If you take away the 154 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: known to a man and create the unknown for a man, 155 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 1: you're either gonna do one or two things. You're gonna 156 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: reignite his interests. He's gonna have to work harder to 157 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: keep it, or you're gonna give him the out that 158 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: he's looking for. Oh, quit creating the known for him, 159 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:46,079 Speaker 1: create the unknown. Quit answering your phone, Quit being with 160 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: he wanted to. He want to hear I love you, 161 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:51,079 Speaker 1: Then do something to show you love me just because 162 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: he's sexy and you you got to tell him you 163 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 1: love it. Come on, lady, I'm just giving you a 164 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 1: cheap way out now. If you've got money for therapy, 165 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 1: you really need to go get yourself looked into and 166 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: get yourself on hill. But a man responds to what 167 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: he don't know. Please know that, all right, Steve, You 168 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: know we have to go email us or instagram us 169 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at my girls. Shirley 170 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,600 Speaker 1: and I want to say thank you once again to 171 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 1: all the people who joined me yesterday for the Strawberry 172 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 1: Letter after show live on Facebook. Thank you guys so much, 173 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: you guys, getting you all there, you know right now 174 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: as soon as we get on, because is it why? 175 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:42,839 Speaker 1: I don't know and you can't rest damn restrict all right, guys, 176 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Damn you see that the Big Stan, 177 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: the money break,