1 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to another episode of couch Talks. 2 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: I'm Cat and I'm the host, and couch Talks is 3 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:20,680 Speaker 1: our weekly Wednesday check in where I do a Q 4 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: and A and I answer questions from you guys. UM, 5 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 1: if you have a question that you want me to answer, 6 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,640 Speaker 1: you can email it at Catherine at you need Therapy 7 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,639 Speaker 1: podcast dot com and hopefully one day I'll get to it. Um, 8 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: a couple of things I want to say before we 9 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: get into the questions. One, I want to address this 10 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: because I've been getting a lot of requests on doing 11 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: an episode on narcissism, and I previously had an episode 12 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,199 Speaker 1: on narcissism up and it is no longer there. Some 13 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 1: of you have realized that, and I just want to 14 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: let you know that I am working on not getting 15 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: that episode back up by getting a better episode up 16 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: and that will be coming out the first week of December. 17 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: So if you have been looking for that episode or 18 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: even wanting an episode on narcissism, it is coming first 19 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 1: week of December. And then also I wanted to just 20 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: give you guys some insider info. My friend Crystal, who 21 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: has been on the podcast before, she did an episode 22 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,320 Speaker 1: on body image with me, and she owns Horizon Nutritional Counseling. 23 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:27,160 Speaker 1: She has a new eight week program that started this 24 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: week that you can still join and it is a 25 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 1: eight week holiday nutrition prep program. So it's an eight 26 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 1: week virtual program. You don't have to live in Tennessee 27 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: to participate, and it will include training modules, weekly support group, 28 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: guidance education, some planning, and just a lot of support 29 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: around anyone, any adult who's struggling with disordered eating during 30 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: the holiday season, because it gets tough around this time. 31 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: So I just wanted to let you, guys, that's a thing. 32 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: I love Crystal and trust her with any and everybody, 33 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: and she's a wonderful dietitian. The things that she creates 34 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,520 Speaker 1: her genius. And so if that is something that sounds 35 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: like you might be interested, or you might need it, 36 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: or you just want to learn more, you can contact 37 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: her at Crystal at Horizon Nutrition Counseling dot com. So 38 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: I just wanted to throw that out there now to 39 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 1: the questions. So the first question, I actually asked Hannah 40 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: and Tara from Monday's episode to stay a little later 41 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: when we recorded and had them answer this question with me, 42 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 1: because you know, it just was about trauma. So I 43 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: got a question that basically said, Hey, I heard you 44 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: mentioned trauma bonds on an episode. I'd love for you 45 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: to discuss what that is. So Hannah and Tara, what 46 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: is a trauma bond? Okay, we'll see how how short 47 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: I can make this. It's kind of complicated, um, and 48 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: it can look like a lot of things. But I 49 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: think where it takes me initially is if we experience 50 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: a traumatic situation and with the perpetrator maybe is uh 51 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 1: is where the bond is made, or even other people 52 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 1: who are in the traumatic experience with us. Then we 53 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: can often then just kind of being a repetition of 54 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: that dynamic of that trauma bonding is specifically talking about relationships, 55 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: number one, That's probably an important thing to say, and 56 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: so relationing in a way that mirrors the trauma in 57 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: and of itself. And so whether it's I bond to 58 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: um friends or partners who are in really distressing or 59 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: kind of wounded like me, UM, so they weren't there 60 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: on the other victim side of it. So I really 61 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: have a lot of relationships where that's how I know 62 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: how to connect is through people who have that same 63 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: woundedness as me or I end up in another relationship 64 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: with another abuse of person because I'm really identified with 65 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 1: I know how to do that, and my body is 66 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: also set in the template of being victimized, being powerless, 67 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,120 Speaker 1: of being in the frees response. That's the role I 68 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: kind of know how to play, and my body is 69 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: stuck there, so it actually hasn't freed itself up from 70 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: trusting that I can engage in something else or being 71 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: resolved from whatever wasn't there. So that's what keeps us there. 72 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: Um it all. Always say people are like, think I'm 73 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 1: crazy because I keep going back to the same kind 74 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 1: of abusive person, And really that's just your body's way 75 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: of actually trying to work it out because it didn't 76 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: get to fight or flight, and it actually is wanting 77 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 1: for you to get what you need. Right, I needed. 78 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: I just wanted that person to finally tell me they 79 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 1: loved me and to be nice to me. And I 80 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,239 Speaker 1: am just going to keep on knocking on that door 81 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: until I get what I need. I'm gonna find the 82 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 1: same kind of person with the same kind of patterns, 83 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: so that that part of me is just saying, we 84 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 1: need this, we need this, we want this to feel 85 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:48,840 Speaker 1: better and bonded to repetition. Also, how I define a 86 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: lot with people is because trauma bonding. This might be 87 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: weird to hear, but it's always bad in the sense 88 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: that if you go through an event like you get cancer, 89 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: and you have a partner at that time, and that 90 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: partner goes to every doctor's pointment with you and it's 91 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 1: always there holding your hand, is there when you go 92 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: into surgery and there when you leave. You moved through 93 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:10,039 Speaker 1: that experience and you've bonded to that person through that experience, 94 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: and that is a healthy human and a person that 95 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: you moved through a trauma with and you have a 96 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 1: healthy trauma bond to that person, not bad at the 97 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,159 Speaker 1: same time. That's why people can fall in love with 98 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 1: their captors. It's because your suit are surviving this traumatic 99 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: experience and you're bonding with the human that isn't helping 100 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: you through it. But also who knows what they're really 101 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,119 Speaker 1: the manipulation that's involved with it. But that's why another 102 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 1: reason you can be bonded to people that have hurt 103 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: you and you don't understand why I can't create boundaries 104 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 1: with my relationship with my dad that's really unhealthy. It's 105 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: because you've also grown up through your trauma with your dad, 106 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: and he's been a stable person, even though not healthy. Stable. Yeah, 107 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 1: trauma leaves us with a sense of powerlessness. Right, So 108 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: if I don't believe I have power, then this is 109 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: what I get. This is the hand that life is 110 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 1: going to deal me. So I'm gonna learn how to 111 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,479 Speaker 1: cope in that. And also the fear of cutting that 112 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: relationship ship off or creating that boundary then I have nobody, 113 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: which is like for somebody who's not in that experience, 114 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: and I'd be like, that sounds crazy. Why would you 115 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: want a relationship with an abusive boyfriend or husband? Why 116 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 1: don't let us leave? And it's like, because you don't 117 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 1: know the fear of not knowing what's going to happen. 118 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: Trump's the fear of I know this and I'm surviving 119 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,520 Speaker 1: it or I have I did survive the abuse. Yeah, 120 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: this makes me think of going back to those core 121 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: needs of of love and security. We will choose connection 122 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: over anything, no matter what kind of connection it is. 123 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 1: It has got chilled. So if the connection we know 124 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,720 Speaker 1: and that we've learned to tolerate and accept is this 125 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,520 Speaker 1: particular kind, even though it's unhealthy or toxic or harmful. 126 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:46,600 Speaker 1: We'll take it because we need connection to survive. Yeah, okay, 127 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: well what do you do with that? You go to 128 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: group therapy. You go to group therapy, you go And 129 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: I think that's an important part to add in there 130 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: is knowing all this stuff and if lightbulbs are going 131 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,520 Speaker 1: off in your head. This is not something that you 132 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: can just like, oh, I have this information, this definition, 133 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,920 Speaker 1: so now I'm better. Now you have awareness, and now 134 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: you need to go talk to somebody, meet with somebody, 135 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: join a group, do something with this. You can get 136 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,119 Speaker 1: out of it. I mean, just like the group therapy piece, 137 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 1: or even a therapy in general, it offers a different 138 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 1: kind of relationing. You get to have a felt, evidential 139 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: experience of not doing it that way. Someone is sitting 140 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 1: across from me. They're not rescuing me and telling me, oh, 141 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: don't cry, it's okay, stop, I'll help you with that, 142 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: because we know a lot of them do that. All right, 143 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 1: So many people are like, do you have tissues? I'm like, yeah, 144 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm just really trying not to tell you 145 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: not to cry. There and then you know, we don't 146 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: have people who scream at you or like we we 147 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 1: get to show you a safe connection and a healthy 148 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: kind of dynamic and relationship, and so your body gets 149 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: to trust that, it gets to know that, and it 150 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: gets to feel something different. Yeah cool, Well, thank you, okay, 151 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 1: and now for the second question. Hey, Kat, I've been 152 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: bingeless into your podcast since I discovered it. I am 153 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: in school to become a therapist myself, and listening to 154 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: your show gets me really excited to start my own 155 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: private practice. One day, I wanted to know if you 156 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: could share any tips on starting your own private practice, 157 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: as it seems something super scary and daunting at this 158 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: point in my life. Also side note, are you hiring? 159 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: Kidding but also not um I love that part. That's 160 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 1: like a little like slide in there, like I don't 161 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,679 Speaker 1: want to be vulnerable and really ask if you're hiring, 162 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: but also I really want to know. So I'm gonna 163 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: make it a joke. Totally have done that before in 164 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 1: certain circumstances in my life too, so we'll start with that. Sadly, 165 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 1: I'm not hiring. I actually brought on Stacy this year, 166 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:42,359 Speaker 1: who was a therapist that works at Three Chords Therapy 167 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,959 Speaker 1: and never expected to do that and but I just 168 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: it was like perfect timing. She's the perfect person. Um. 169 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: I love her, we get along great, and I think 170 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: she's fantastic. So I brought her on this year and 171 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: I'm not at this moment looking to add anyone else. 172 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: But you really never know. That could change literally in 173 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 1: a month. I never imagined I would bring somebody into 174 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,839 Speaker 1: the practice other than myself, So I'm not gonna say 175 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: that's never gonna happen. We learned anything from last week's episode, 176 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 1: um with Lauren, it's that you should just send the 177 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,960 Speaker 1: email anyway, so you know, when you graduate, send me 178 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: another email and we'll see what what's going on. Now 179 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 1: back to the meat of your question. Oh, and I 180 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: want to say this, Actually I'm not hiring a therapist 181 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: and I'm not hiring a therapist intern. However, I do 182 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: really want to hire in an intern. So anybody who 183 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 1: needs a marketing or social media internship, hit me up 184 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: Catherine at you Need Therapy podcast dot com. I need 185 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: you to be in the Nashville area. But yeah, I'm 186 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: on the lookout for an intern in the marketing social 187 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:46,960 Speaker 1: media area. All right, So now back to your question. 188 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: Starting my own private practice, I want to start by saying, 189 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,320 Speaker 1: this was not something I originally thought I wanted or 190 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: even thought I could do. I totally get when you 191 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: say this is a very daunting thing. It is. It 192 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,960 Speaker 1: seemed very daunting to me as well, and so I 193 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: just never imagined myself doing it. When I went to school, 194 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,320 Speaker 1: I wanted to work in a treatment center, and I 195 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: did end up doing that. I will forever stand by 196 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: the idea that if you can get the scariest training, 197 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: you can get, and I mean that and the fact 198 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: that I felt very in over my head as an 199 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 1: intern when I started, like very as I think a 200 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: lot of people do, but it was the best thing 201 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: I could have done. I was forced into situations where 202 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 1: I had to get through some stuff I didn't think 203 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 1: I was capable of doing, and then I learned that 204 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: I was capable of doing it, and it helped me 205 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,560 Speaker 1: because I nothing really scares me when it comes to therapy. 206 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 1: There are things that I there are certain things that 207 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: I don't love to work with, but I feel like 208 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 1: I can handle a lot of things, and I'm going 209 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 1: on my toes and I've just seen a lot of 210 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 1: scenarios and just gotten like the deepest, richest training in 211 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: that because I saw everything. So if you can get 212 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: an internship that is really diverse and acute, something that 213 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: I think is really valuable. So that to start off with, 214 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: when I started my private practice, I started in somewhat 215 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: of a management company, so I worked for or at 216 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 1: a place and I did like a percentage split, which 217 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 1: are a lot of places to do that, and that 218 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:17,079 Speaker 1: was really helpful because I had mentors and a community 219 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,200 Speaker 1: that helped me figure out what the heck I was doing. 220 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 1: I didn't stay there very long because of some ethical 221 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: things that I saw and I didn't really like what 222 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,720 Speaker 1: I saw behind some of the scenes, but it was 223 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: nonetheless a very, very very valuable time for me. So 224 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,079 Speaker 1: if you're looking to join a private practice like three 225 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 1: Courts Therapy, I say go for that. You're gonna not 226 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: feel alone, because sometimes private practice can feel very alone 227 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:43,559 Speaker 1: because when you start it, you were literally by yourself. Um, 228 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: So if you can work under somebody, which if you 229 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 1: don't have the license you have to, that is something 230 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,319 Speaker 1: that I would say do that. Find somebody who you 231 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: think is doing it right and that you want to 232 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: learn from and learn from them. So there are perks 233 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: of working under someone depending on the contract you have 234 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 1: a lot of times when you work at a management 235 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: company or you you work as a contract therapist for people, 236 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: you don't have any overhead, you don't have to worry 237 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 1: about getting referrals. A lot of times they usually are 238 00:12:10,040 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 1: more connected than you, so that you will meet a 239 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,200 Speaker 1: lot of people and do a lot of networking in 240 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: that sense that will help you get started. And so otherwise, 241 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,719 Speaker 1: learning about how a private practice works and doing all 242 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 1: the things that it entails can be really overwhelming. And 243 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:25,959 Speaker 1: then you also get somewhat of some supervision from somebody 244 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 1: who has been doing this stuff for a while. I 245 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,839 Speaker 1: will say I never thought I'd be able to start 246 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,680 Speaker 1: my own business until I was married and could rely 247 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: on my husband's income, which I did it because I'm 248 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 1: not married and I don't have my husband's income because 249 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: he does not exist. So I'm here to say to 250 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,439 Speaker 1: all the humans, if you want to do this, there 251 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:45,839 Speaker 1: is a way for you to do it. I had 252 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: to make a lot of sacrifices when I started, so 253 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 1: I moved out of my house with my best friends 254 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,239 Speaker 1: in my twenties, like the best years ever, and into 255 00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:57,680 Speaker 1: a family member's house, which was really awesome. Actually it 256 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 1: was really kind of them to let me do that. 257 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: I started working at Psycho Bar around that time, and 258 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: so I found a part time job that paid fairly 259 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: well to help supplement what I was doing, but also 260 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: didn't take too much time away from what I was doing. 261 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:16,560 Speaker 1: I was very very careful and how and what I 262 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,839 Speaker 1: spent my money on. I had to miss out on 263 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff that I wanted to do because 264 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,200 Speaker 1: I just wasn't financially very stable in the beginning, but 265 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: I figured it out. I was patient, and that's one 266 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: thing I would say, you guys need some patience because 267 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,800 Speaker 1: they say, I don't know who's they, but they say 268 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: that it takes about one and a half to two 269 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: years to build a full private practice, and it took 270 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,520 Speaker 1: me around one and a half years to feel comfortable 271 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: and secure and not feel like the scarcity mindset that 272 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: next week all my clients are gonna leave and I'm 273 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 1: not gonna have any money. I'm gonna get kicked out 274 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: of my house. And in that year and a half, 275 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 1: I think it was at the six month mark, I 276 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,680 Speaker 1: wanted to quit. I was like, this is not working. 277 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 1: I sorry to apply for all these jobs I had interviews. 278 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,319 Speaker 1: Thank god I didn't get any of them, and one 279 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 1: of them that I really wanted was as a case 280 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: manager for the counseling center out of college here, and 281 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 1: in the interview, all of the counselors were like, why 282 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: do you want this job? And they didn't hire me, 283 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 1: I think because they're like, she's going to get in 284 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 1: here and be like, this is not what I want 285 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 1: to do on board because I was somewhat I guess overqualified, 286 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,680 Speaker 1: which sometimes that like totally gets in the way. It's 287 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 1: like I might be overqualified for this job, but I 288 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: want this job even though I'm overqualified. Anyway, That's a 289 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 1: topic for another time. But like I was saying, it 290 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: takes time, and so you've got to be patient and 291 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: believe that it's going to work out, because if you 292 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 1: stay in it, it will work out. I mean, there 293 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: are I know, in cities like Nashville, we will never 294 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: run out of clients, Like there are so many people here, 295 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 1: some people that need therapy. We can never have enough therapists. 296 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 1: We have a lot, and we're doing okay. So all 297 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: in that to say, I would encourage you to get 298 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 1: really good training in your internships. That sets you up 299 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 1: to be able to kind of pivot and take on 300 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 1: things even if you don't want to work with them. 301 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: Sometimes you just get things that you weren't expecting. And 302 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 1: then work with people that you admire and you trust 303 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: and look up to and do some networking and be patient, 304 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to make some sacrifices. But I 305 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: promise you can do it. You can totally do it, 306 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 1: all right, guys. That is this week's episode of Couch Talks. 307 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 1: Thanks for hanging out with me for a little bit, 308 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: and we will be back on Monday. And I just 309 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 1: want to tease this out a little bit. Monday's episode 310 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: is really exciting and I'm excited for it to come out. 311 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: I'm excited for you guys to hear it. Yeah, so 312 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: look out for that and I hope you guys have 313 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: a wonderful rest of your week.