WEBVTT - Second Cup: Tell me something good

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to invite people to share good news. This

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<v Speaker 1>can lead to a more fruitful and positive conversation than

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<v Speaker 1>the usual how are you banter? We hear all day long.

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<v Speaker 1>If you pay attention, you will no doubt see that

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<v Speaker 1>you say some version of how's it going multiple times

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<v Speaker 1>per day. It can be formal, like with a team

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<v Speaker 1>icebreaker in a meeting, but that is also how we

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<v Speaker 1>greet kids, or friends, or even a regular barista. And

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<v Speaker 1>there's nothing wrong with this question. The problem is that

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<v Speaker 1>almost everyone is going to answer fine or In this

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<v Speaker 1>day and age busy, none of these answers do much

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<v Speaker 1>to advance the conversation along. So why not tweak this

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<v Speaker 1>question just a little bit and specifically invite people to

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<v Speaker 1>share something good? For instance, the tell me what you've

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<v Speaker 1>been up to opening of a meeting could be asking

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<v Speaker 1>everyone to share a win from the last week. If

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<v Speaker 1>nothing else, the meeting is going to start with everyone

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<v Speaker 1>feeling like they are in a more positive frame of mind. Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a winning team. If you are leading a

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<v Speaker 1>Sunday school class, or a Girl Scout troop meeting. You

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<v Speaker 1>could likewise invite people to share the best thing that

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<v Speaker 1>happened since you last saw each other. Ask your Saturday

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<v Speaker 1>morning running buddies what was the highlight of their week.

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<v Speaker 1>If you run into a friend in the grocery store,

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<v Speaker 1>ask her what she most enjoyed cooking this week, Or

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<v Speaker 1>if you are meeting in the garden store, ask her

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<v Speaker 1>what's the prettiest thing growing in her yard right now.

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<v Speaker 1>Little kids may be eager to share their good news,

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<v Speaker 1>but older kids and adults can sometimes need more of

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<v Speaker 1>an invitation. Maybe they don't want to boast, or maybe

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<v Speaker 1>they are sensitive to other people's struggles. They don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to draw attention to their own good fortune. I get that,

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<v Speaker 1>but regardless, when you invite people to tell you something good,

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<v Speaker 1>you give them license to amplify their own joy by

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<v Speaker 1>sharing it with you. Now, of course, for relationships to

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<v Speaker 1>be authentic, we need opportunities to share bad news as well.

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<v Speaker 1>Our lives are not all sunshine and smiles, so be

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<v Speaker 1>sure that you leave room in your close relationships for

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<v Speaker 1>talking about your whole life, not just the cheerful parts.

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<v Speaker 1>And of course you need to read the room I

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<v Speaker 1>am not sure that a meeting about layoffs needs to

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<v Speaker 1>start with a discussion of people's wins. And if your

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<v Speaker 1>friend in the grocery store looks exhausted, maybe offering her

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<v Speaker 1>a kind word and wishing her a peaceful week is

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<v Speaker 1>more appropriate. But with those caveats in mind, sometimes, especially

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<v Speaker 1>in a quick how are you kind of exchange, asking

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<v Speaker 1>for a high can be a great way to connect

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<v Speaker 1>over something specific and positive, and that can be a

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<v Speaker 1>very good thing. Indeed, in the meantime, this is Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've

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<v Speaker 1>got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at

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<v Speaker 1>Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit

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<v Speaker 1>the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

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