WEBVTT - Ep. 215: THIS COUNTRY LIFE - Messing With Critters 0:00:05.160 --> 0:00:09.240 Welcome to This Country Life. I'm your host, Brent Reeves 0:00:09.920 --> 0:00:13.680 from coon hunting to trot lining and just general country living. 0:00:14.080 --> 0:00:16.040 I want you to stay a while as I share 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:18.479 my stories and the country skills that will help you 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:22.360 beat the system. This Country Life is proudly presented as 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:25.880 part of Meat Eaters Podcast Network, bringing you the best 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:29.960 outdoor podcast the airways have to offer. All right, friends, 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:33.080 pull you up a chair or drop that tailgate. I 0:00:33.120 --> 0:00:34.760 think I got a thing or two and teach you 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:45.199 messing with critters. We are a curious species. That curiosity 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:48.040 fuels the desire to find out what's on the other 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:51.840 side of the mountain, the river, the ocean, and ultimately 0:00:52.120 --> 0:00:57.000 the universe. Unfortunately, it also makes us wonder, what do 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:59.480 you reckon that sleeping tiger will do? If I've pokem 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:03.200 with this, I said we were curious and not smart. 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:06.800 It's all about messing with critics this week. But first, 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:18.039 I'm going to tell you a story. Hurricane Katrina was 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:22.720 a Category five hurricane. The cost of lives and loss 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:25.600 is still being felt today, and I was in charge 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:28.760 of a group of highly motivated individuals I had brought 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:32.679 from the Union County Sheriff's Office in Elderde, Arkansas on 0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:38.319 a mutual aid mission supporting Louisiana Sheriff's Association. We were 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:42.319 allocated to the Jefferson pair of Sheriff's Office initially, then 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:46.880 after the initial chaos immediately following the storms, we moved 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:50.120 across Lake Pont Train with the Saint Tammany pair of 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:54.400 Sheriff's Office. Slight El, Louisiana would be our home for 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:58.040 a few weeks to come. It was a desperate time 0:01:58.120 --> 0:02:01.360 for a lot of folks and us included. The conditions 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:05.160 were poor, stress and danger were high, and ships were 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:09.720 long and unended. But when it would eventually end, we 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:13.359 all had homes and families to go home to. A 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:16.160 lot of the local officers who we were serving alongside 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:20.200 they weren't that fortunate, but our mission was clear. We 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:23.200 were front site, focused on the stolen order and a 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:28.960 chaotic mess of lawlessness and devastation. A week after we'd 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:32.800 relocated to Slide Done, we started doing marine patrols and 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:36.320 we were teamed up with some Alabama National guardsmen and 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:41.200 I was assigned two of Alabama's finest specialist lord and 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:45.120 private clerk. We were running Big Bay boats that were 0:02:45.160 --> 0:02:48.400 part of the Sheriff's Office fleet, and our main mission 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:51.079 was to patrol along the banks the Lake pont train, 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:53.400 keeping an eye on the property and houses that were 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:57.120 left and forcing the curfew to try and curb the looting. 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:01.200 By this time, almost everything could set it down pretty well, 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:03.640 and our calls for action were few and far between. 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:07.640 Down on the water now. The one thing that hadn't 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:11.600 slowed down was the duty. Twelve hour shifts from sundown 0:03:11.680 --> 0:03:15.520 to sun up. They can be long and long time 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:17.440 for a bunch of folks that have been in the 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:20.720 thick of it for weeks at a time. The calls 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:23.160 went from stacked up one behind the other to almost 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:26.920 zero around the lake homes and the condos and the marinas. 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:31.960 It was boring. It was necessary, but it was boring, 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:36.120 like we need to figure out something to do to 0:03:36.160 --> 0:03:39.680 pass the time while we patrolled amongst the floating logs 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:46.400 lumbered alligators. Alligators, that's something we can do. Let's make 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:49.240 a contest to see which patrol boat can find and 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:53.400 photograph the biggest gator. That was fun for about two nights. 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:56.360 Then it got to be an argument over who saw 0:03:56.400 --> 0:03:59.280 the biggest one because the majority of the time we 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:04.320 were comparing photographs of glowing eyes and gaiterorheads and how 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:07.400 you going to sell that? Aregu well? I had a solution. 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:10.880 We all met just before dark at the marina to 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:15.000 link up with our guardsmen from Alabama. Now there I 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:17.800 informed everyone that what we were going to do to 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:21.160 settle once and for all whose gator was biggest. We 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:24.160 had a twelve hour shift and if the call volume 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:28.200 stayed low while we patrolled our sectors, we were also 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:31.359 going to catch the biggest gator. We could let a 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:35.320 tape measure beside it and see who won. Now we'd 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:38.640 all watch Steve Irwin catch him on TV. How hard 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:43.039 could it be and what could possibly go wrong? Everyone 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.120 thought it was a great idea. We were doing team 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.920 building with our counterparts from the Yellowhammer State, blowing off 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:52.359 some steam, taking a break after some long days and 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:56.960 weeks of seeing the worst of mother nature. See in 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:00.240 twelve hours, chumps was the last thing I said before 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:03.640 we all divided up. An hour or so into our 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.840 patrol assignment, we started seeing the sized gators we were 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:11.599 after big ones. Lord and Clark made a catch pole 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:15.240 out of some floating lumber and repurposed wire. One end 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.159 was attached to the end of the pole and formed 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.359 a loop that we could slip over the gators snout, 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:22.680 pull it tight, keeping his mouth closed, and then haul 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.880 his behind in the boat for a measurement or picture. 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:29.839 After that, we'd cut him loose to go back to 0:05:29.880 --> 0:05:33.680 doing what gators do. But the big ones, they don't 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:37.240 get big being dumb, and they don't get big by 0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:40.760 letting folks lay their mits on them. Time after time 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:43.680 we'd slip up on a qualified candidate, only to have 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.599 him slip beneath the surface of the water and disappear 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:50.839 the instant the wire touched his snout. Now we'd located 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:53.200 some prime target, some we guessed to be in excess 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.240 of nine or ten feet long. Now do you guess 0:05:56.279 --> 0:05:58.760 the length of an alligator With all you can see 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:03.040 is his head, you you estimate the number of inches 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.840 from between his eyes down to his nostrils. Now that 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.440 estimate in the inches will be pretty close to his 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:14.120 total length and feet. Ten inches from eyes to nose 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:19.480 equals ten foot of alligator in mississippiansas the American alligator. 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:24.040 It was one fiddle to temp after another. However, and 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:26.719 had we been stalking them on the ground. I feel 0:06:26.760 --> 0:06:29.480 confident we could have stood a better chance at putting 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:32.120 one and a half Nelson long enough to tape him 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:35.440 out and take his picture floating up to him with 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:40.640 the limited reach of our Catchupole just wasn't doing the trick. Now, 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:44.479 in retrospect, I'm more confident that this story would be 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:47.400 a whole lot different than the one I'm telling now 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:51.520 had we had the opportunity to wrestle one into submission 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:56.840 on dry ground. I'm forever thankful that opportunity never arose. 0:06:58.160 --> 0:07:01.120 But a few hours in the radio crackled on the 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:04.279 scramble channel that we used to say things that didn't 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:06.440 need to go out under the scanners, Not that any 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:10.200 one was around to listen, but regardless, we needed to 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:13.880 at least present a modicum of professionalism to our counterparts. 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:18.440 Here's what was transmitted. Bravo one is the Sierra one 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:25.800 Alpha four certified. I responded Roger that Sierra one, All right, 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:30.640 let me explain. Bravo one was my call sign. Sierra 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:33.280 one was the call sign of my teammate at point 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:36.200 man who was running the boat we were competing against. 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:42.200 His name was Greg Stevenson. Alpha stood for alligator, and 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:44.640 four meant that he was four foot long and certified 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:47.200 minute they'd stretched him out and measured him and got 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:50.800 a picture. Now all we had to beat was four feet. 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:54.680 Are you kidding me? We were actively hunting gaters over 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:57.640 eight feet long. I'd caught a baby that was about 0:07:57.640 --> 0:07:59.760 two feet long that I had riding in the boat 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:03.360 with me for half a shift the night before. This 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:06.360 was gonna be easy, all right, boys, you heard him. 0:08:06.600 --> 0:08:09.000 Next gator we see that's at least six foot long. 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:11.440 We're snatching him up out of the water and putting 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:15.400 an end of this contest. Pressure was off. We didn't 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:17.720 have to mess with the big ones that were slipping 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:19.680 away as fast as we slipped it up on him. 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.360 We're hunting yearlings. Now we might as well be robbing 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:25.320 him out of the baby bed. The next one we 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:27.800 see is getting kidnapped, just for practice. If he ain't 0:08:27.840 --> 0:08:30.080 over six and a half feet, he's going back in 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:33.560 the water till we find one that is three of 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:35.720 us scan the surface of the water is close and 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:39.040 calculated for a decent sized gator. As we had been 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:42.240 looking for looters. It wasn't long when one of my 0:08:42.320 --> 0:08:45.600 soldiers said, there's one about six foot. We can warm 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:48.040 up on him if you want. I told him to 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:50.080 get the stuff ready, and I eased the boat over 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:51.840 to where he was floating in the middle of a 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:55.360 cove amongst smaller gators and the rest of the stuff 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.120 that used to be part of the neighborhood. The stuff 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:00.520 that they had to get ready was only a call 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:04.000 and a yardstick that we'd found a roll of black 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.120 electrical tape that we were going to use to tape 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:09.079 his mouth shut once we got him in the boat. Now, 0:09:09.120 --> 0:09:12.320 everything in our world was timed. Our shifts were calculated 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:16.200 in hours, our fuel consumption on how long we sat 0:09:16.240 --> 0:09:18.920 at idle, and how fast we drove from one patrol 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:22.960 area to the next, how fast we safely clear the building. 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:26.400 During training or in reality, it was a habit of 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:29.480 subconsciously estimating the time it took for us to clear 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:35.600 an obstacle or accomplish an objective twenty seconds, twenty seconds 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:38.280 from the time we pulled the wire tight around his 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:43.080 jaws until we were ready to start taking pictures. That's 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:48.839 what I estimated it was going to be. Clockwork. Clark 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:50.840 dropped the loop on that gater's mouth like he had 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:52.920 been doing it all his life, and one big pull, 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:55.920 he and Lord snatched that gator in the boat, just 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:58.679 like we played. I couldn't believe how easy it is. 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:02.640 It's gonna be. The clock had started the plan. Once 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:04.319 we had him in the boat, Lord would lay on 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:07.079 top of him, grab both sides of his mouth, holding 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.400 and closed. Clark would hold steady pressure on the wire 0:10:10.480 --> 0:10:13.160 noose and catch pole while I ran a few rounds 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:16.839 of tape around his jaws to keep them shut. The 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:19.440 amount of force required to hold of a gator's mouth 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:22.480 shut is minimal compared to the mouth they exert when 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:25.840 closing it, and that's around three hundred pounds per square inch. 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:29.760 They'll leave a mark on him. Over our fool proof plan, 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:34.679 he wouldn't have a chance. I threw the throttle in 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.600 the neutral and was halfway around the console and going 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:39.839 to my knees with the table. When the soldiers hauled 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:43.160 that dinosaur into the boat and the wire came loose 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:48.560 from his mouth, time seemed to slow to a crawl. 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:52.439 I was moving in slow motion. Clark and Lord were 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:56.480 moving in slow motion. Everything was like it was covered 0:10:56.520 --> 0:11:01.080 in molasses, except the gator. He was making laps inside 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:03.319 our boat so fast that when you jumped over him 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:05.679 as he went under before you feed it at the deck, 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:08.840 he was coming around again. And this seemed to go 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:11.920 on forever. Now. I don't know how many laps I 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.840 Joker made inside that boat, but I do know that 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.640 I was about to give out from jumping over him 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:21.360 every time he cruised through the straightaway before going low 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:24.920 into turn three. But where are we going to go? 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:27.520 There was only one of him in the boat with us, 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:30.520 and a whole bunch of him out of the boat 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:34.439 in the water where I momentarily thought about going. Then, 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:37.880 when all hope was lost, Specialist Lord dove on him 0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:40.160 like a whole boat catching the last train out of town. 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:44.440 Wham hold, we got him. Clark held his mouth shutting. 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:47.920 I ran a half a roll of tape around his jaws. 0:11:48.440 --> 0:11:53.840 We had him caught. Finally we measured him, and then 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:56.760 the Great Gator Catching Contest of two thousand and five 0:11:57.559 --> 0:12:01.240 we'd won. We tried half the night to catch one 0:12:01.280 --> 0:12:04.600 over eight feet. The one we caught was six foot either. 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:08.800 Then the grands came of alligators. He was just a puff. 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:13.040 But had he been six foot and one inch I 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:16.960 firmly believe he had killed us all and that's just 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:29.360 how that happened, messing with critters. Every year, the headlines 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:32.400 from Yellowstone National Park make their way around the outdoor 0:12:32.480 --> 0:12:37.600 channels of social media. There the internet, wildlife experts comment 0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:41.880 on how dumb folks from other countries, the inebriated residents 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:45.040 of this one and the seemingly ignorant get a lesson 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:49.120 in mess around and find out. It's become quite a 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:52.400 spectator sport. Watching the unsuspected get a lesson in the 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:57.600 transference of kinetic energy science can be fun, especially when 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.520 the lab experiment as someone walking up to take a 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:04.320 selfie with a bison, one smiling click later and they're 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.400 texting for a ride to the er from where they 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:10.840 landed in the next zip code. I've watched so many 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:15.000 compilation videos of foreigners and residents alike getting theled one 0:13:15.040 --> 0:13:18.520 to two from a seemingly tamed bison that even though 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:22.440 I know what's coming, I can't turn away until I 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:26.760 see with my own eyes the frontier. Justice has been dispensed. 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:31.280 You've been found guilty of buffoonery in the northern portion 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.720 of the Montana West, and your sentence is a permanent 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:37.240 hitch in your get along and the embarrassing video clip 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.400 that will haunt you for the rest of your days. 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:46.040 Court adjourned. Forty seven thousand people each year seek medical 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.720 treatment for being bitten or attacked by wild animals, with 0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:54.080 an average of eight each year being fatal. Now, if 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:58.360 you count domesticated animals, that number claims to one million 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:02.920 attacks or bites. Cows of all things send twenty folks 0:14:02.960 --> 0:14:06.400 a year. To the last roundup, a bunch of nerds 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:08.840 down at the CDC got together and they found that 0:14:08.880 --> 0:14:12.520 from two thousand and eight to twenty fifteen, there was 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:16.840 one thousand, six hundred and ten animal related fatalities in 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:20.360 the US, with the majority of the deaths being the 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:24.680 result of encounters with non venomous animals like fifty seven percent. 0:14:26.560 --> 0:14:31.120 One of the researchers is quoted as saying, importedly, most 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:36.880 deaths are not actually due to wild animals like mountain lions, wolves, bears, sharks, 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:40.720 et cetera, but are a result of deadly encounters with 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:46.240 farm animals, allergic reactions from b wash for hornet stings, 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:49.800 and dog attacks. So while it is important that people 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:52.560 recreating in the wilderness know what to do when they 0:14:52.680 --> 0:14:57.200 encounter a potentially dangerous animal. The actual risk of death 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:02.560 is quite low. The good doctor forgot about the idiot 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:05.440 factor and the additional encounters brought to you by what 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:10.800 made Milwaukee famous. Now, I'm no scientist or researcher or 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:14.400 even a gambler, but I am an observer, and I 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:17.920 made a living and stayed alive by watching folks engaging 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:21.400 if they were friends or foe. By watching those the pesture, 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:24.720 the huge harry prairie cows. I'm not coming away with 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:28.680 much in the friend or fol category. I'm also not 0:15:28.760 --> 0:15:30.960 getting the impression that a lot of country folks are 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:33.760 walking up to the Native American symbol of abundance and 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:38.400 prosperity for a close and personal TikTok video and winding 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:41.840 up meeting their yearly insurance deductible in one visit at 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:46.360 the local trauma center. Now, on the other hand, it 0:15:46.520 --> 0:15:49.760 was the country board by which all my qualifying standards 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:54.880 and qualifications for being one that thought catching a copperhead 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.920 was a good idea. Remember him. I won't say his name, 0:15:58.960 --> 0:16:02.200 but his initials are me. He now, being from the 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:06.040 country and being familiar with livestock and wild creatures doesn't 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:10.680 vaccinate you from poor decision making. On the contrary, sometimes 0:16:10.720 --> 0:16:13.840 it gives you a false sense of natural ability, and 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:16.760 not being scared of something is not a qualifier for 0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:20.800 interacting with it. Case in point, a friend of mine 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:25.520 from out west, This fellow who shall remain nameless, is 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:28.200 a large lad. He's the kind of guy that you'd 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:31.120 think fear would be the last of his worries. But snakes, 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.720 snakes of any kind, would run him up a locust tree. 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:38.160 But being scared of snakes isn't really a big deal. 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:41.880 There's a name for it, O if he die. Phobia 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:45.720 in one study says that Americans fierce snakes more than 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:50.840 anything else. It's fifty six percent numero uno on the 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:55.400 spooky chart. No idea where badger's ranking that chart, but 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:59.280 they should have been higher on his. He told me 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:01.640 by the time, many moons ago, that his dog made 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.600 a badger up in some sage brush. They were out 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:07.320 hunting sheds when the incident occurred, and my friend was 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:10.760 sands any type of firearm with which to dispatch it. 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:13.359 Now before he didn't want to get the drawers in 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:15.720 a wad. The state where this happened, had an open 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:18.040 season on badgers. They could be one hundred year round, 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:22.000 and this dude wanted one for the fur. He'd always 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:25.640 fancied himself some sort of mountain man, and a badger 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:29.680 skinned hat was his top priority. His dog had cornered 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:31.840 him up a badger. And even though he didn't have 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:34.439 a gun, he did have a big knife and a 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:38.240 leather scabbard on his belt. He had it on every 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:40.760 time I ever saw him, and he kept it sharp 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:44.159 as a razor, he told me, And he said, I 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:46.199 just decided to wait in there with my knife and 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:49.760 stab back badger, skin him out, tan his hide, and 0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:55.040 make me a hat. Now, remember when I was talking 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:59.320 about noticing things in my former career. It became a 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.160 habit that helped me make it to retirement and mostly 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:09.280 unscathed by doing so. I do it to this day subconsciously. Well, 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:12.040 while he was telling me that story, I noticed that 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:15.320 as he told it and mentioned the knife, he touched 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:18.080 the handle of it as it hung on his belt, 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:21.600 just as it had been ever since I'd met him. 0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:25.080 Every time he mentioned the badger of the hat, he 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:29.000 looked at his left arm. I'll spare you the details, 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:32.080 but my friend's attempt at take in a badger's fur 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:36.240 by stabbing him it didn't work out. As he maneuvered 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:39.320 in to take a stab, the badger latched hold of 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:42.880 my pal's favorite arm on his left side and proceeded 0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:45.119 to gnaw and claw it down to the white parts. 0:18:45.160 --> 0:18:49.560 That all the meat was attached to nine stitches a 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:51.800 second is what we figured it out to be in 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.680 the end, and he hung on for thirty six offs 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:59.400 stitches that is not seconds. He showed me the scars 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:01.600 and I said he did all that in four seconds. 0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:04.600 He looked at me with his eyes as big as 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:07.840 saucers and said, calmly, I think he did it in 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:10.720 one second. It took me three to get him shook 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:13.520 off in about thirty more for the squealing to stop. 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:16.480 I said, they squeal in that attack, and he said, no, 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:19.359 I was doing this squill. I sounded like my little 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:24.399 girl when she sees a spider messing with critters, and 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:30.199 it'll turn grown in into little girls speaking to little girls. 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:33.639 When my littlest girl was five, we had a pet 0:19:33.680 --> 0:19:38.080 coon and we named him Buster. I gotten him from 0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:39.920 a friend of ours that we went to church with. 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:43.080 She's a vettech. And if there was ever a real 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:48.520 life showed up Ellie May Clampett, it's Madeline. Madeline is 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:51.560 as pretty as they get inside and out. She and 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:53.960 her husband are good country folks, with horses and the 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:57.280 usual animals you'll see on a small country farm. And 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:00.440 at one time she had a squad of tame uns 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:03.639 living his pets in their barn. She was telling me 0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:05.640 about them one day at church, and I told her 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:07.760 that if she ever came across an extra one, that 0:20:07.880 --> 0:20:12.320 I wanted it for Bailey and for me. I told 0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:16.440 Alexis about our conversation my wife, and she didn't seem 0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:19.640 overly excited about getting a pet coon. She also didn't 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:25.440 seem overly confident that I'd get one. Well, she thought poorly. 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:29.840 A few weeks later, someone brought in an orphan kitt 0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:33.040 and coon to the veterinarian's office for maddling work, and 0:20:33.080 --> 0:20:36.680 she called me, does Bailey still want a baby coon? Yes, 0:20:37.000 --> 0:20:41.240 definitely still wants a baby coon. Bailey does. Okay, I'm 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:45.600 coming y'all's way and I'll drop him off. Twenty minutes later, 0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:49.679 I was cradling a baby boy Bandido and bottle feeding 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:54.280 him some kitten milk replacement. Alexis picked Bailey up from 0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:57.399 school and when they walked in surprise, y'all meet her 0:20:57.440 --> 0:21:02.840 new baby Bailey and immedily reached for him and squeezed 0:21:02.920 --> 0:21:07.359 him tight. Alexis immediately reached for me and squeezed me tight, 0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:11.120 mainly my neck, concentrating on the part where the air 0:21:11.200 --> 0:21:15.199 goes in and out. She got over it, and Bailey 0:21:15.240 --> 0:21:18.560 and I named him Buster. Now. Buster was a curious 0:21:18.560 --> 0:21:21.119 little guy, as one would figure baby coon would be 0:21:21.760 --> 0:21:24.240 if he wasn't a sleeper eating from a bottle. He's 0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:29.200 crawling all over us and creation. He and Bailey played together, 0:21:29.240 --> 0:21:31.240 and I'd sit on the steps or in front of 0:21:31.280 --> 0:21:33.240 the house and watch her running up and down the 0:21:33.280 --> 0:21:37.439 sidewalk with Buster and tow doing everything he could to 0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:41.320 keep up with her. Bailey was learning to ride her bicycle, 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:44.000 and before we took her training wheels off, Buster would 0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:47.240 sit and ride in her basket or follow her down 0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:52.760 the street and back. They were buddies. A month after 0:21:52.840 --> 0:21:55.400 two thirds of us welcomed the Buster into our home, 0:21:55.480 --> 0:21:59.119 I left for bear hunting trip in Idaho. I'd been 0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:02.240 the main character and clean her up her After Buster, 0:22:03.119 --> 0:22:06.120 Bailey helped some, but she was also five, and while 0:22:06.160 --> 0:22:08.240 she was most likely the more mature of the two 0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:12.480 of us, it was still ultimately my responsibility, and when 0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:18.400 I left, the duty fell on Alexis, both figuratively and literally. 0:22:19.920 --> 0:22:25.159 Buster Buster either struggled with incontinence or he had no shame, 0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:29.119 and I leaned toward the latter. Either way. If you 0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:32.320 think kitting milk replacement smells bad when you mix it up, 0:22:32.960 --> 0:22:35.240 you should get a whiff of it after it filters 0:22:35.320 --> 0:22:38.720 through a coon named Buster that only moments ago was 0:22:38.760 --> 0:22:43.119 sitting peacefully on your shoulder when nature came calling. That 0:22:43.200 --> 0:22:45.360 smell would drive a buzzer and off a gut wagon. 0:22:46.880 --> 0:22:49.000 I checked in with Alexis to see how they were doing. 0:22:49.080 --> 0:22:52.440 When I got a little signal on our hunt, Alexis 0:22:52.480 --> 0:22:54.760 told me that she'd said something earlier in the day 0:22:54.800 --> 0:22:59.080 that she'd never dreamed she would say. She said there 0:22:59.119 --> 0:23:01.640 was no way any one could have ever convinced her, 0:23:01.960 --> 0:23:05.240 even two months ago, which was still seven years into 0:23:05.400 --> 0:23:08.960 her indoctrination in the world of hunting dogs, dead animals, 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:12.720 and everything else that she was happily ignorant of until 0:23:12.760 --> 0:23:16.679 she met me. She said, I couldn't have never imagined 0:23:16.680 --> 0:23:20.800 me saying, Bailey, it's starting to rain, get your coon, 0:23:21.320 --> 0:23:24.320 we're going in the house. But I said that very 0:23:24.400 --> 0:23:26.440 thing today as we sat on the front steps of 0:23:26.480 --> 0:23:30.320 our home. Brand Brent, I love you, but I have 0:23:30.320 --> 0:23:36.240 no idea how I got here me either, Honey, just lucky. 0:23:36.280 --> 0:23:39.760 I guess. We kept busting until he got big enough 0:23:39.800 --> 0:23:41.960 to take care of himself, and I purposely left his 0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:44.879 sleeping cage open one night and he left and he 0:23:45.000 --> 0:23:48.560 never came back. He started to get a little rough 0:23:48.600 --> 0:23:51.000 and I didn't want him hurting Bailey even on accident. 0:23:52.160 --> 0:23:54.919 We miss him, and we have some fond memories and 0:23:55.200 --> 0:23:58.200 some of the cutest pictures and videos of that Rascal 0:23:58.240 --> 0:24:02.920 and Bailey that I share on Instagram. Messing with critters 0:24:02.920 --> 0:24:07.399 can be fun and entertaining, but it's best on both sides. 0:24:07.520 --> 0:24:11.800 Enjoy it. I'm gonna post some pictures of the winning gater, 0:24:12.000 --> 0:24:14.640 me and the boys from the Alabama National Guard hemmed 0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:17.800 up in the boat on Lake Ponta train nineteen years ago. 0:24:18.720 --> 0:24:21.520