WEBVTT - Rage Against The Machine 0:00:03.520 --> 0:00:11.560 Welcome to Jay dot Ill, a production of iHeartRadio. Well, welcome, 0:00:11.800 --> 0:00:17.880 Hi everybody. I'm taking deep breath. Sometimes you gotta take 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:21.560 a deep breath. It's been quite a week, you know, 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:25.720 lots of lots of stress and having to set people 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:29.560 straight here, there and all over the war. I am 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:34.440 here fortunately with my beautiful sister friends, Agia Grad and 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:38.400 Dan's I love that. Darling, Hello Doll, Hello Darling, and 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.640 the lovely lovely lies Saint Clair. I am present, he 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:47.640 is present, Yes, double all the meanings to that. I'm 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:52.159 Initially I was talking about stress, friends, but I am 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:55.920 I have I've definitely had some moments, and here is 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:58.960 one of them. Years ago, I guess it was like 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:03.120 nineteen ninety six. Oh that's how long it was. But 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:06.400 I still feel it in my body. Oh yep, I 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:11.320 still feel it. Apartheid had ended and they were doing 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:17.480 the whole Truth and Reconciliation Commission, remember that. And I 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:20.600 remember sitting there and I was listening to these stories 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:26.959 and it was like, you know, I'm I'm very sorry 0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:30.080 that I put your daughter in a tire and I 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.479 poured gasoline on it and I set it on fire 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:36.000 and I rolled it down the street till it hit 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:41.560 your house. I'm sorry, I was wrong. And I got 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:46.720 about maybe about thirty five minutes into this and I 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:52.000 felt something. I still feel it. I feel this immense 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:57.160 amount of there's no there's no other it's only rage. 0:01:57.320 --> 0:02:02.880 It's it's just rage because later here I am. I 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:06.920 was in South Africa, and there were times when you know, 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:10.760 I wasn't necessarily served immediately although I was there first. 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:14.400 You know, there were times when, you know, going through 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:19.280 the neighborhoods, I'm looking at this community of huts um. 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:21.280 That's the that's the only thing I could think to 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:25.000 call it right now, no disrespect police. And I'm hanging 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:29.040 out in Um. I think they call them shanties. Shanties, 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:31.239 thank you. And I'm hanging out and I'm in a 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:33.919 bar barbecue spot, and I have to go to the 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.440 bathroom and there's, you know, a hole in the ground, 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:38.320 and I gotta, you know, go to the bathroom in 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:41.919 this hole. And I just and then you continue on 0:02:42.080 --> 0:02:45.880 in South Africa and it's like it's so much wealth 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:51.919 and I know that this this, this whole country was 0:02:52.320 --> 0:02:57.800 stolen um and it just enraged me that these people, 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:03.680 these these murdering people were forgiven, forgiven, and they were 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:08.760 allowed to keep their land, They were allowed to keep 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:13.320 all all the benefits of being there. They were not 0:03:13.520 --> 0:03:19.960 put in prison for murdering children and women and people. People, 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:24.880 just people murdering people. And I'm telling you that my 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:29.640 blood pressure went so high. I've never had a problem 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:32.799 with blood pressure, despite what some people might think. But 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:35.920 I've never had problem with blood pressure. But when I'm 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:38.600 telling you that my blood pressure went so high that 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:43.640 I could hear a sound because I thought, finally, finally, 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:49.480 somebody is going to pay for the atrocities done to 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:54.200 brown people. Oh so well, bless your optimism, my love. 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:58.720 Just I hoped. I hoped, and I hoped, and it 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:04.680 made me sick. Oh, today we're talking about rage, and 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:11.880 we have the privilege and the pleasure Layah or age. 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.560 If you would be so kind to please introduce this 0:04:15.000 --> 0:04:19.840 beautiful woman, this this bright spirit that we have the 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:22.520 privilege of looking at. You guys don't but but you 0:04:22.640 --> 0:04:25.880 must look looking fine, look and see if you would 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:29.640 please introduce her. M I gotta get myself together. Yeah, y'all, 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:31.720 y'all will definitely need to Google at this point of 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:34.080 the podcast to get into her to get into her light. 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:37.120 But y'all know that I'm not as gifted with the 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:39.920 intros as Joe Joe Growl because I have so many 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:42.080 thoughts on your on that I have so many thoughts 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:45.400 another a circle back. But so forgive me if I read, 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:47.520 because I just want to make sure that we say 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:49.920 the proper things about our current about our guests today. 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:53.400 Our guest today is Ruth King. So how she explains 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:57.600 it is that rage sits at the crossroads of personal transformation. 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.760 Those of us seeking more self aware will inevitably stumble 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.600 upon personal rage on the path. And rage is not 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:07.520 to be understood as a useless emotion. It's empty of 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:11.640 story or knowledge, but it's clarity and untapped fuel. Embraced 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:15.839 with compassion, the energy trapped in rage becomes an intimate 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:20.640 and empathic teacher, offering balance, integrity, and inner peace to 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:25.440 your healing journey, relationships and service. And so Ruth King 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:29.920 is the founder of Mindful of Race Institute, LLC. And 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:35.560 it's a celebrated author, educator, and meditation teacher. She is 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:39.320 an elder, a heart activist, African American with Chocta our roots, 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:44.600 great grandmother and Native Californian She currently resides on Now, 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:47.720 did I read this word right? Unseated Territory of the 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:52.920 Hataba Indigenous Nations in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her wife, 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:56.240 doctor Barbara Riley. There's so many more things we could 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:59.840 tell you about Ruth King, but you know, I had 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:02.719 to read that word for word because y'all needed to understand, 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:06.279 like what power she enters this conversation with. So, ladies 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:10.559 and gentlemen, welcome to j dot Il Ruth Kang. Baby 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:18.040 girls who needed such a Buddhism on this. You're beautiful, 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:22.520 All of you are beautiful, and you know, I just 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:28.240 it's a lot to be said, right, I mean, I 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:35.680 so connect in the seventy five year old body with 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:46.200 the generational rage inheritance right of what our people have lived, 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:51.760 what we still carry in our bodies. So I so, 0:06:53.040 --> 0:06:56.000 you know, and it's not like it's that far away. Uh, 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:59.599 It's it's not like it's this thing that happened way 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:04.000 that them. So we see if we look, we see 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:10.320 the shape, the skeletal shape of white supremacy that impinges 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:14.560 on every aspect of our lives. And of course, I 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:17.320 mean one of the reasons rage is such an important 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:23.760 focus is it's it's so appropriate for us to have 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:30.120 the emotion of rage, and it's equally important to befriended. Right. 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:37.080 So yeah, right, So it's like, okay, so this did happen, 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:41.360 This shit happened. And the truth of the matter is 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:46.800 anything can happen to us at any time. We're vulnerable 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:50.000 in that way. Some of us, these black bodies, are 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:56.760 more vulnerable than most. So we're vulnerable in this flesh, 0:07:56.840 --> 0:08:02.360 in this body, we're vulnerable. We're sensing if we're nature right, 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:08.239 we feel life where artists, we're creators, we give birth, 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:11.440 you know, I mean, we're all of that. So it's 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:15.960 no way to not be touched by our history and 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:20.120 not to inherit. What's I'm finished And one of the 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:26.480 things I talk about in my work after giving offering 0:08:26.800 --> 0:08:32.000 a Celebration of Rage retreat for fifteen years across the nation, 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:36.719 a place where women could come and be in the 0:08:37.160 --> 0:08:43.240 raw expression of rage, without consequence, without judgment, without projection, 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:51.160 in ceremony, in vibration, in emotional release, not just for catharsis, 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:54.960 but to rest then in the space that gets created 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:59.360 from the release of what we've been holding. Right, So 0:08:59.640 --> 0:09:02.679 the eye. That's one way of being thinking about befriending. 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:06.000 How do I just climb back and reclaim this body 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:10.600 that I've been shocked out of right in a way 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:16.600 that I then can rebirth myself. But we don't get 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:19.360 to do it out there. We have to reclaim the domain. 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:23.520 So these rage retreats were places where we can be 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:29.400 in ceremony. We can be in sacred states to tell 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:33.480 our stories, not just to be heard, but to be 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:39.600 but to release the toxic inflammation that represents in our bodies. 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.160 We need ceremony for that, We need other bodies for that, 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.240 and we need to not be interrupted when that's happening. 0:09:48.320 --> 0:09:50.760 We need to break some shit, tear up some rooms. 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:54.719 This retreat offered all of that, a place where you 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:58.319 can really, you know, kind of release through these bodies 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.600 a lot of that trauma. It already happened for the year. 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:07.000 The retreat I know, I'm like were happened. The retreat 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:11.920 happened for years. It was in the Bay areas, in 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:20.480 the Bay Area. Bay already vibrates someplace. Yeah, b yeah, 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:25.480 Oh my gosh, I'm surprised. I read a whole boar. 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:29.880 It was like a whole barnyard that had all kinds 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:34.760 of music equipment hooked up and big basin uh space 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:38.599 to dance, and we worked in blindfolds and we we 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:42.520 we really you know, we had altars and we moved 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:51.400 around like earth bound. More real talk after the break. 0:11:01.480 --> 0:11:04.959 I hate to even interrupt. Oh my God, Lord, forgive me. Okay, 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:09.640 I want you to circle back to ceremony. Oh this word, 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.520 so I know that, like the special being word right 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:19.240 now is intentionality. But ceremony, Like, let's talk about that, 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:22.199 like why the need for ceremony? And I know you 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:23.760 did kind of speak to that a little bit in 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:27.199 your explanation. If you could expound on that, like what 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:32.839 is the importance of creating that specific space and specific 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:37.480 activities around release and rage? Oh that's good, that's really good. 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:43.120 So so um ceremony is you could say that it's 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:47.199 sacred community. You know, when we could sit in our 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.959 own room and read a book and get knowledge, but 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:54.760 when we're in community, intentional community, where we all know 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:58.719 why we're walking through this door. We all know why 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:03.199 we're coming. Y'all share that in common. It may be 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:06.240 dressed up differently, but we're all coming for that reason. 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:10.719 And the reason for this rage work was to investigate, 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:17.600 to release what's being held that's killing us, to release 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:21.800 it in a sacred place. And we need other bodies 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:26.839 to witness that, to not to that, to affirm that, 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:33.679 m to pray with us with that, to um, to 0:12:34.320 --> 0:12:40.079 get that it's older and bigger than us. To ceremony 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.760 to me also brings them the elements of working with 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:47.040 the earth, planting this shit in the ground, burning up 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:49.760 some of the you know, using the fire element to 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:53.160 burn up some of the stories we carry that are 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:57.199 no longer true if they ever were, and look at it, 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:02.640 just some of the internalized ways we believed or drank 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:08.000 the kolid right. So we need places where we get 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:12.000 to aarate that we put it out, and then by 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:16.120 hearing other people's story, it's like, damn, I didn't even 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:19.440 know that happened to me, But that we wake up. 0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:22.679 We wake up in ceremony again. If we come in 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:28.360 with intention, I'm coming in here. I'm interested in healing 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:32.400 more than I am and being right. Okay, you have 0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:36.839 to want something more than your story. You have to 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:40.040 be willing to look at a bigger story and join 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:43.360 a bigger ocean, like we're all rivers kind of making 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:46.079 our way to the ocean. We're joining the ocean. Is 0:13:46.120 --> 0:13:50.280 this something that's alike to like shouting in church or 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:53.679 you know, we talk about community, and you know different 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:56.480 groups of folks they talk about community or uma or 0:13:57.440 --> 0:14:00.559 the fellowship, this kind of idea that this has to 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:04.560 happen under an umbrella of something bigger than ourselves. Well, 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:08.280 you know, I was raised in the Pentecostal church, saying 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:13.000 in the choir, there's a lot about what I remember 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:16.920 about the church was that growing up was that the 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:21.280 person who got happy and spoken times was not the 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:25.320 same person that needed to know what that meant. Oftentimes 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:29.320 the person that's spoken times, somebody else in the community 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:32.840 knew what that meant. So there was this call and response. 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.960 You see that also in the yodel of a tradition 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:39.040 when you go to the Bimbays and there's the dancing 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:45.600 and drumming and the African risha's are making themselves revealed. Right, 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:51.280 whoever is invoked in spirit is not necessarily be the 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:54.960 one that is bringing a message, but providing a certainly 0:14:55.080 --> 0:15:01.560 energetic release that is recognized within community. So I guess 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:04.640 you could say that when you come into an intentional space. 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:08.120 Whether it's a church or a bimbay or a rage retreat, 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:11.720 you come in with intention. You're coming into holy ground, 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:17.640 you're coming into being held and whatever gets released, it 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:20.920 doesn't I mean, everybody's not releasing in the same way, 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:25.080 but everybody comes with the intention of letting go, and 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:27.800 a lot of people come with the intention of letting go. 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:30.080 They may not let go in that space, but they'll 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:33.520 let go at some other time, But it doesn't mean 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:39.479 it's not being cooked, right, So I think, yeah, there's 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:41.760 not a program of it. It's like you come in 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:45.680 the door and you open up to the sky and 0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:51.920 you're you have permission and space to release, have that 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:57.360 be narrated so that you can then see something bigger 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:00.440 than what you can just see it from what it is, 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:05.120 and usually it's bigger than what's the story you're holding 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:08.680 about it, And so you come with a certain curiosity 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:11.600 to kind of open to that. Not with a heart 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:15.800 I got to know, but I'm willing to surrender and 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:19.440 see what this rage is here to try to teach me, 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:23.280 because there's wisdom in it. It's usually an energy that 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:27.160 helped us survive, but it doesn't always help us heal. Right, 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:33.720 so we have to survive but not necessarily heal. Woa 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:41.800 now that baby, Jill, Jill, go ahead, you know you 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:46.880 know how that is applicable. Come on, ma'am. It may 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:49.600 help you survive, get through it, but not heal, but 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:52.920 not heal. And you be running around surviving and believing 0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:57.040 that you have coped, that you have made it. You 0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:01.120 send messaging around having made it when you are simply 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:04.080 in survival mode, you have not healed, and you are 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:08.879 teaching other people your raggedy ass survival techniques. And it 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:12.800 goes from generation to generation and then something pops up 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:16.879 and all of the stuff from the other thing that 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:22.520 you've been holding onto explodes. The other thing about it 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:28.840 is that it's rage is initiatory, but it's not transformative. 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:32.159 So it's a kind of energy that lights us up, 0:17:34.080 --> 0:17:37.520 sets us on fire. But it's a comma, not a 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:41.320 period you got you know, it's not transformative energy. It's 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:46.440 it's it's luminous. It's a lot of truth in it, 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:50.119 but it's not the endgame. It's not enough to just 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.520 be righteous in it. We have to listen deeply and 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:56.719 it belongs to us. A lot of times we think 0:17:56.760 --> 0:17:59.480 it belongs to these folks out here, but it's really 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:03.640 trying to whisper in our ear. Hey. You know, it's 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:06.240 a protector in a way. It's a protective energy. It 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:11.000 alerts us to something, some boundary that's being violated, or 0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:14.159 some story that hasn't been cared for a well, or 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.200 some ancestor that's trying to tell you to clean this 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:19.560 shut up so we don't have to keep carrying it 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:23.600 to the next generation. Right. I mean, it's a kin 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:26.280 to how the body responds to everything. Right, So like 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:30.280 the body does some wowshit to let you know something's 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:34.679 not working, something hasn't connected exactly. It puts fluid around 0:18:35.320 --> 0:18:39.400 a joint, bam, you know, just trying to protect. Yeah, 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:43.600 I was watching them the other night. I watched it 0:18:43.680 --> 0:18:48.399 again just recently for many reasons. But there was a 0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:53.080 point where there was a brother in there and he 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:58.040 was being antagonized by his mind. I suppose that's the 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:00.440 best way I could call. He was being in agonized 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.240 by his mind, a memory of a thing not being present, 0:19:03.400 --> 0:19:07.920 not being able to protect, and he at some point 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:13.200 this this expression of rage was just super powerful. He 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:16.919 was he was saying he was the beast of the field, 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:19.879 and it was it was grunting, and it was it 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:23.879 was spit flying, and it was tears and all the things. 0:19:24.359 --> 0:19:27.840 I think maybe, I mean, that's one way to express 0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:32.240 I think is that a scary for people because it 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:36.280 was scary watching. See, That's that's why we need some ceremony. 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:39.920 We need some sacred space for that kind of expression. Now, 0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:43.439 one of the things I think is so important for us, 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:48.080 especially as women, to understand around rage is the way 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:53.680 we've been conditioned to disguise it so sour. Our immediate 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:57.200 association with rage is that image jil you just describe, 0:19:57.320 --> 0:20:01.040 you know, a person that's you know, on er what 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:05.080 I call the defiance disguise of rage in my book. 0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:09.520 But I'm talking about six ways we tempt to roll 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:12.879 with rage, to be like that all the time, right, 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:17.439 because it is scary to people, So we've learned ways 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:22.000 to kind of package that. So it's not helpful always, 0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:24.879 but it's a cover on top of an emotion that 0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:28.320 a we're afraid of and be we know it could 0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:31.000 scared to shit out of other people, so we keep 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:33.960 it on the wraps and it takes on other shapes. 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:37.320 So there's these six ways that it shows up. One 0:20:37.480 --> 0:20:41.399 is a dominance. We try to control everything so that 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:44.520 we're never controlled. So that's one form of a cover up. 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:47.639 I know y'all probably aren't going anything about that, but 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:51.159 it happens to be my primary. If I can just 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:53.720 control everything, I'm going to, you know, keep this on 0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:58.720 the wraps. Another one is the defiance type, which is 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:05.120 the seething I'm out, I'm in your face, Um, I'm 0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:09.440 I'm not having it kind of outward expression, which is 0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:14.199 what we usually associate with with rage, but it's it's, uh, 0:21:15.560 --> 0:21:20.640 you know, it's one way. And then we have distraction, 0:21:20.880 --> 0:21:25.160 where we're busy all the time consuming everything in our reach, 0:21:25.760 --> 0:21:29.000 trying to get get this, that and the other, filling 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:32.920 ourselves up with all kinds of material things to try 0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:37.160 to feel what feels insatiable, right, this kind of craze 0:21:37.880 --> 0:21:42.240 and craving that we think can keep us just under 0:21:42.280 --> 0:21:47.000 wraps with rage. And then we have devotiony disguise of 0:21:47.200 --> 0:21:52.120 rage as a person who's helping everybody at the expense 0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:56.600 of ourselfs um as a way of keeping everything nice 0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:00.680 and under wraps and let me just try to take 0:22:00.760 --> 0:22:03.879 care of you and never quite taking care of themselves. 0:22:04.320 --> 0:22:08.440 That's another way of kind of bypassing the fuck you 0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:10.720 kind of way that we really want to bring it, 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:13.000 but we can't really feel like we can do it 0:22:13.119 --> 0:22:16.040 that way. Too much truth, too much truth, roal, slowdown, 0:22:16.080 --> 0:22:21.040 slow down, okay boo. Yeah, that part doesn't make a 0:22:21.320 --> 0:22:24.600 lot of sense to me, because if you know, if 0:22:24.640 --> 0:22:27.000 you're if you're trying to help somebody, but you're not 0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:30.520 in a good way, like I guess that would have 0:22:30.600 --> 0:22:35.680 to be so, and it's not really self aware because 0:22:35.760 --> 0:22:37.480 I will go somewhere else, I will go somewhere and 0:22:37.560 --> 0:22:39.520 get quiet on you real quick. I need help. I 0:22:39.600 --> 0:22:42.119 need to I need to gather myself fuck because I 0:22:42.200 --> 0:22:46.040 cannot imagine trying to help when I'm not. Okay, there's 0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:51.639 two more. There is the depression disguise, which is someone 0:22:51.760 --> 0:22:56.160 that shuts down to kind of like a teapot's seeping. 0:22:56.280 --> 0:22:58.520 You kind of keep the top on, keep the lid on. 0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:02.399 It's a heavy lid, but you walk around with this 0:23:02.840 --> 0:23:07.600 kind of weight that's suppressing not just rage, but a 0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:11.840 lot of other emotions. And then there is the dependence disguise, 0:23:11.960 --> 0:23:19.920 a person who is never quite able to be of 0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:25.640 her own voice because her dependent her survival is dependent 0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:30.760 upon other people to take care of her, so she's 0:23:30.840 --> 0:23:33.760 compromised on what she says and how she rolls because 0:23:33.760 --> 0:23:38.119 of this kind of dynamic. I'm saying these quickly, but 0:23:38.280 --> 0:23:42.400 in the book totally centers around these six disguises, their shadows, 0:23:42.880 --> 0:23:45.560 and their wisdom, because they all have wisdom. So many 0:23:45.640 --> 0:23:49.840 of our baby boomer moms were experience and would all 0:23:49.880 --> 0:23:57.520 of them. You might identify with one or two, and 0:23:58.240 --> 0:24:01.760 because they all have shadows, it'll look like you're identifying 0:24:01.840 --> 0:24:03.800 with all of them, but you're not. It's usually we 0:24:03.960 --> 0:24:07.840 roll with one or two as our lead, and then 0:24:08.480 --> 0:24:14.320 we attract our opposites. Like the dominance disguise is going 0:24:14.400 --> 0:24:17.960 to attract the dependence disguise because they kind of mirrort 0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:21.959 what the others need. The distraction is going to at 0:24:23.119 --> 0:24:28.720 marry half kids and pets that are the depression disguise 0:24:28.880 --> 0:24:32.840 because the hyperactivity of a well of a distraction disguise 0:24:32.960 --> 0:24:36.560 moving all the time. Their biggest fear is a depression 0:24:36.760 --> 0:24:40.639 disguise has kind of collapsed and pulled in. But they 0:24:40.800 --> 0:24:43.520 end up attracting each other and then being at war 0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:46.600 with each other until they befriend each other, and then 0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:49.800 the wisdom's able to shine through. So there's kind of 0:24:49.840 --> 0:24:53.480 a typology in this that's a lot of fun to understand. 0:24:53.960 --> 0:24:55.760 And when we kind of take it to the level 0:24:55.800 --> 0:24:59.880 of typology, it's not personal these disguises because we're all 0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:03.040 conditioned around it to as a defense making us. So 0:25:04.240 --> 0:25:07.080 you have a right to defend ourselves until we know better. 0:25:07.800 --> 0:25:10.840 You know, we have another way, y'all. Be kind to 0:25:10.920 --> 0:25:13.639 each other. This is all I'm gonna say. Be kind, 0:25:14.840 --> 0:25:22.359 be kind, be kind, be kind. Doctor King is trying 0:25:22.400 --> 0:25:27.800 to help y'all understand that we are all carrying this 0:25:27.920 --> 0:25:33.159 shit over around. We'll be kind. The name of doctor 0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:36.639 Ruth King. I'm a doctor. Yes, No, I'm not a doctor. No, 0:25:37.440 --> 0:25:45.320 because she is a doctor's she is healing the people today. King. Okay, Yes, 0:25:45.960 --> 0:25:48.879 and there you are annoying to And if somebody somebody 0:25:48.960 --> 0:25:54.000 want to fight me, fight me, join you on a night. 0:25:54.400 --> 0:25:56.200 I bet I haven't see me in the street, see 0:25:56.280 --> 0:25:58.560 me in a streat at a place right there in 0:25:58.640 --> 0:26:00.960 the back alley. We could just go right there. I've 0:26:01.040 --> 0:26:07.320 been there many times. We're gonna take a quick break 0:26:07.400 --> 0:26:20.720 and then we'll be right back the name of doctor 0:26:20.880 --> 0:26:26.919 Ruth King's book. The book is Healing Rage Women, Making 0:26:27.080 --> 0:26:34.359 Inner Peace Possible. Inner Peace man o, Inner Peace Woman. 0:26:35.600 --> 0:26:38.200 That thing it just sounds good. It's got a good 0:26:38.320 --> 0:26:41.920 vibration on an inner piece, like an easy thing. But 0:26:42.000 --> 0:26:44.760 it does sound good. It does. It feels good. It 0:26:44.840 --> 0:26:47.159 sounds good, and nobody said it was easy. Yeah, it 0:26:47.280 --> 0:26:49.960 just sounds like hard. It seems like a lot of 0:26:50.000 --> 0:26:52.960 self reflection and a lot of opening opening the zipper 0:26:53.440 --> 0:26:56.600 and letting your whole self come on out and dealing 0:26:56.680 --> 0:27:00.720 with things bit by bit. My talk good about the 0:27:00.760 --> 0:27:04.919 same thing is it's just like when you when you go, um, 0:27:05.000 --> 0:27:07.119 it's there. It's like a it's this like a prayer. 0:27:07.160 --> 0:27:09.760 I mean, it's all the things. Huh you said, it's dancing, 0:27:09.880 --> 0:27:14.240 it's like a prayer circle. Or women also or telling 0:27:14.359 --> 0:27:18.320 their stories oh yeah, oh yeah. And then we're also 0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:22.840 interrupting some of the habitual ways, you know, all of 0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:26.840 the all of the automatic assumptions and automatic things that 0:27:26.960 --> 0:27:30.280 come out of our mouth. Like I remember growing up 0:27:30.400 --> 0:27:34.840 when um my mother used to say, you better shut 0:27:34.920 --> 0:27:36.840 your mouth, you know, get in that corner and shut 0:27:36.920 --> 0:27:40.040 your mouth right. And now I find myself telling my 0:27:40.200 --> 0:27:44.399 grand and great crimp and kids. You better get in 0:27:44.520 --> 0:27:48.600 that corner and take a breath, you know, you know, 0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:51.160 you don't have to shut your mouth, but you can't 0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:53.440 take a deep breath and talk at the same time. 0:27:53.600 --> 0:27:56.840 So it's kind of the same thing, but it's given 0:27:56.920 --> 0:28:00.680 more permission to just Hey, come on back home, coming 0:28:00.760 --> 0:28:06.040 back here. Right, that's a beautiful evolution that a lot 0:28:06.119 --> 0:28:12.320 of your peers have not evolved to. So how on 0:28:12.440 --> 0:28:16.280 the daily just how do you deal with that? Having 0:28:16.320 --> 0:28:18.480 all this knowledge, knowing about rage? And it's interesting even 0:28:18.520 --> 0:28:20.879 what Asia said, you know, be kind to each other. 0:28:21.280 --> 0:28:23.480 I feel like the folks who are conscious of all 0:28:23.560 --> 0:28:26.159 these things that you're telling us, yes, we will be 0:28:26.359 --> 0:28:28.960 kind to each other. But there's a whole population out 0:28:29.000 --> 0:28:32.480