Speaker 1: LinkedIn News. There is a level of trust that you
Speaker 1: have to build with people, but you also got to
Speaker 1: make sure that you look out for yourself because the
Speaker 1: same way as I might very casually be telling my
Speaker 1: manager about how I was turned up on Friday and
Speaker 1: I was doing all this during the weekend, blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: you don't know if everyone has your best interest at heart,
Speaker 1: and you don't know what malicious intent someone might have
Speaker 1: that then when it comes time for promotion or it
Speaker 1: comes time for upper mobility, they might be like, actually,
Speaker 1: I don't know because so and so they so I
Speaker 1: would just say, like, be cautious about who you tell
Speaker 1: what to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I feel like everyone could probably relate.
Speaker 2: We're not always telling our manager exactly what we did
Speaker 2: on the weekend. Kay, it was chill, you know. Just
Speaker 2: reread a book from LinkedIn News and I heard podcasts.
Speaker 2: This is Let's Talk Offline, a show about what it
Speaker 2: tastes to thrive in the early years of your career
Speaker 2: without sacrificing your values, sanity, or a sleep. I'm Gianna PRDENTI.
Speaker 1: And I'm Jamay Jackson Gadsden. I recently learned a really
Speaker 1: interesting fact y'all, people spend an average of ninety thousand
Speaker 1: hours at work. Honey, that is a lot of hours. Like,
Speaker 1: what in the world I remember thinking? That means that
Speaker 1: they're air ninety thousand plus opportunities to make workplace friendships.
Speaker 1: And obviously friendships can be great, right, but also maybe
Speaker 1: this is the cynicism in me, it also can be
Speaker 1: a place for workplace enemies. Dun dundune. So you always
Speaker 1: got to figure out how do I navigate workplace friendships
Speaker 1: and how do I separate personal from professional?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like, is it cool to talk to my coworkers
Speaker 2: about my love life?
Speaker 1: Oooh cringe?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what about how my therapy SA
Speaker 2: should went oooh trauma bonding? Yeah, I mean that's real.
Speaker 2: You know, something I've definitely realized since starting my career
Speaker 2: is that it's important to have work friends. It's something
Speaker 2: I want because I want to go to work because
Speaker 2: I like the people who I work with. But of
Speaker 2: course it's tricky when there's all these dynamics to consider.
Speaker 2: So we're gonna walk you through that slippery, slippery slope
Speaker 2: of workplace friendships.
Speaker 1: So today Giann and I are talking about navigating workplace friendships,
Speaker 1: which I know she and I both have very strong
Speaker 1: opinions of. And this is a topic that not only
Speaker 1: we are passionate to talk about, but also LinkedIn itself
Speaker 1: has data around. An interesting statistic that we read was
Speaker 1: that fifty five percent of gen Zers and forty six
Speaker 1: percent of millennials say they need work friends. This is
Speaker 1: compared to thirty four percent of Gen xers and thirty
Speaker 1: three percent of Baby boomers. So the gen Zers and
Speaker 1: the millennials are demanding more workplace friendships.
Speaker 2: I totally identify with that stat do you No, I
Speaker 2: will get into that, but you know, it's funny we're
Speaker 2: talking about this topic because I saw this headline that
Speaker 2: said work is not a place to make friends, and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, you did.
Speaker 1: You may write that article.
Speaker 2: Oh god, we gotta get into that. No, but I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, So obviously people approach workplace friendships differently,
Speaker 2: and workplace relationships in general, if we take a step back,
Speaker 2: come in many forms. Right, you have your work friends,
Speaker 2: your manager, your mentor. But we're talking specifically about work
Speaker 2: friendships here, and like anything, obviously there may be some downsides,
Speaker 2: which you know, explain the headline I guess so some
Speaker 2: cons to workplace friendships. We are complex humans, so they
Speaker 2: just add complexities to the workplace. You know, you might
Speaker 2: feel loyal to certain people because of the relationship that
Speaker 2: you form. They can also create like an us versus
Speaker 2: them mentality and this like clicky culture. Also, friendships can
Speaker 2: encourage gossiping and drama. I mean, I feel like everybody's
Speaker 2: been there. You find yourself like deep in the weeds
Speaker 2: of some drama and you're like, wait, I gotta take
Speaker 2: a step back. And it also blurs the line between
Speaker 2: your personal and professional life, which can of course impact
Speaker 2: your mental health. I think if you have a close
Speaker 2: work friend, maybe you guys are calling each other after
Speaker 2: hours and you're still bringing up work stuff, right, it
Speaker 2: kind of just becomes more consuming. But I see, like
Speaker 2: there are many benefits to work friendships. One, it makes
Speaker 2: you feel less lonely and socially isolated, which is especially
Speaker 2: important if you're working in a remote and hybrid job.
Speaker 2: Workplace friendships also boost happiness and job satisfaction overall, and
Speaker 2: they create a sense of belonging in an environment of support.
Speaker 2: There's like this transparency aspect of it. Right, If you
Speaker 2: have a close work friend or even just an ally
Speaker 2: you maybe are able to talk transparently about pay and
Speaker 2: other things that go on just to kind of boost
Speaker 2: your overall you know, knowledge of what's going on at work.
Speaker 2: But of course it's a double edge sword, right, Like
Speaker 2: workplace friendships make us more invested, which can make us
Speaker 2: like our jobs more, but also when we leave or
Speaker 2: a friends live, then it becomes really difficult.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that you've highlighted the pros and cons
Speaker 1: of this, because at the end of the day, I
Speaker 1: really think that neither you or I or anyone can
Speaker 1: tell someone exactly what they need to do, So it
Speaker 1: really comes down to you deciding what feels good for you.
Speaker 1: But what I really appreciate is that a lot of
Speaker 1: this comes down to dynamics and power. Dynamics, especially in
Speaker 1: the workforce, are so important figuring out if I can
Speaker 1: make a friendship with my manager or a certain coworker,
Speaker 1: maybe that coworker is more senior than I am, what
Speaker 1: happens when a friend becomes my manager or vice versa.
Speaker 1: So there's just so many different things that you have
Speaker 1: to navigate, and you have to figure out what works
Speaker 1: for me. And I think that these are the questions
Speaker 1: that a lot of people are asking. Especially what I
Speaker 1: found to be interesting was that gen z ers want that,
Speaker 1: but then you guys also really want separation of like
Speaker 1: work and personal, which I think is very interesting because
Speaker 1: the stats almost contradict themselves. But there also is a
Speaker 1: marriage there. And another thing that I was thinking of
Speaker 1: as you were talking about the pros and cons is
Speaker 1: also the additional pressure of maybe people from different communities,
Speaker 1: whether it's marginalized communities like people of color, people from
Speaker 1: different socioeconomic backgrounds, or even just women in the workforce
Speaker 1: who have to kind of navigate these power dynamics. You know,
Speaker 1: think about all like the high profile women executives that
Speaker 1: you've seen talk about how in order for them to
Speaker 1: get into the C suite they had to be quote
Speaker 1: unquote one of the boys, right, or they had to
Speaker 1: learn how to speak jargon or keep up with men.
Speaker 1: I know, for me, even as I was growing up,
Speaker 1: I was always encourage go to the happy hours, go
Speaker 1: to the team socials. You don't have to do anything
Speaker 1: there but just show yourself to be friendly. And it
Speaker 1: kind of sucks that we have to do that, but
Speaker 1: I do think that that also goes back to if
Speaker 1: you feel friendly, people are willing to look out for you,
Speaker 1: which is why this topic I feel is very timely
Speaker 1: and super fun. So Gianna, let me ask you first,
Speaker 1: how do you approach workplace friendships and like, what has
Speaker 1: been your experience with that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know, life after college can be lonely.
Speaker 2: I think when I graduated, it was summer. It was
Speaker 2: so exciting. You're busy, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: the fall rules around. Your friends are starting their jobs,
Speaker 2: and this postgrad transition really starts to settle in and
Speaker 2: it's lonely. Right, Like, I started my job in twenty
Speaker 2: twenty one, so it's still like pandemic years and gen
Speaker 2: Z really experienced a loneliness like epidemic at that time.
Speaker 2: We one just navigated college during the pandemic, so we
Speaker 2: already were feeling isolated, and then entered the workforce having
Speaker 2: fully remote jobs, so we missed out on those in
Speaker 2: person connections. And I remember, yeah, I was so excited
Speaker 2: to have a remote job. But now what you know,
Speaker 2: we have to relearn how to make friends. Our friends
Speaker 2: from college or maybe moving away. They're starting their own
Speaker 2: journeys and it can feel really isolating in that time,
Speaker 2: So you know, when you're navigating adulthood, leaning into your
Speaker 2: work environment to make friends kind of happens naturally, I
Speaker 2: think for a lot of us, And depending on the
Speaker 2: workplace where you join, you're likely surrounded by people who
Speaker 2: have had similar shared experiences. They may be in a
Speaker 2: similar point in their lives, so naturally you kind of
Speaker 2: bond together. So I've prioritized workplace friendship since I started
Speaker 2: my career. Some I'll be transparent, some of these relationships
Speaker 2: were kind of born out of trauma bonding. I love you, know,
Speaker 2: I think you in those instances. You have to be
Speaker 2: cautious that that doesn't become the whole relationship, right, Like
Speaker 2: it's not just negative talk all the time. But yeah,
Speaker 2: those a lot of my relationships have happened naturally, and
Speaker 2: it's something I was definitely intentional about. And I also
Speaker 2: took advantage of every mentorship opportunity that was offered by
Speaker 2: the company. Luckily, We've had a few programs in my
Speaker 2: time here, and every time I've signed up and I've
Speaker 2: been a mentee. So that's kind of how I've approached it.
Speaker 2: But I'm curious from you over the course of your
Speaker 2: career how has that shifted for you totally.
Speaker 1: I love that you mentioned about trauma bonding as a
Speaker 1: friendship because it's true, and I think the terrifying thing
Speaker 1: is that you are initially bounded by other people by
Speaker 1: this thing, but then when one of y'all heals, the
Speaker 1: friendship is over. But then you look flaky, But really
Speaker 1: you just went out and got healed, and everybody else
Speaker 1: you got better, right, and everybody else is still wherever
Speaker 1: they're at. For me, I would say that I agree
Speaker 1: with you in the sense that it's important to have
Speaker 1: friendships and people who at least make coming to work
Speaker 1: fun or good. You're going to be here for a
Speaker 1: long time, right, literally the hours in the day, but
Speaker 1: then also over the course of your life. However, I
Speaker 1: have also learned that if you get too close to fire,
Speaker 1: it can burn you. And I think for me, well,
Speaker 1: let me take a step back first and just preface
Speaker 1: this by saying that if you are listening to this
Speaker 1: and if you work with me, it is not that
Speaker 1: I do not like you.
Speaker 2: Okay, getting nervous over.
Speaker 1: Here, Like to me, it's like, dang, I thought we
Speaker 1: were friends, girl. No, I love people. I just find
Speaker 1: that if I really want to be true to having
Speaker 1: a separation of work and personal. That also does require
Speaker 1: figuring out where do I place people? And this is
Speaker 1: not everybody, right, Like I have some people who I've
Speaker 1: worked with and they have been in my wedding. I
Speaker 1: go out with them on the weekends. You know, we
Speaker 1: keep in contact after where like people I call up
Speaker 1: on the phone and I would chat, I'll cry on
Speaker 1: the phone, which you live like? Those are unique, but
Speaker 1: I don't really come into the workforce looking for that
Speaker 1: for me. I would say that also, having worked in
Speaker 1: certain industries like fashion and entertainment, I had to learn
Speaker 1: very early on a lot of these relationships were transactional
Speaker 1: and you can still make friendships in those spaces, but
Speaker 1: you have to sort of dissect who wants what from
Speaker 1: you when. And this is the same thing that happens
Speaker 1: in corporate right, Like think about it. You are here
Speaker 1: because you are offering an exchange of goods and services,
Speaker 1: So they're already from the jump, before that friendship was
Speaker 1: even formed. Is a transaction happening. You know, you can
Speaker 1: come into work if all of a sudden you stop
Speaker 1: doing your work. Your friends can't save you, like they're
Speaker 1: gonna be making sure that they're good with their job.
Speaker 1: So for me, I would say that I learned pretty
Speaker 1: early on this idea of like navigating the space and
Speaker 1: being friendly without being friends. You can still show up
Speaker 1: and be kind professional, really care about people, but there
Speaker 1: also has to be a point where this stops. And
Speaker 1: I would say for me, one of the biggest lessons
Speaker 1: in all of that was when I became a manager
Speaker 1: for the first time. I've been a manager a couple
Speaker 1: of times throughout my career, and each time I had
Speaker 1: to navigate this really sticky situation of the people who
Speaker 1: I was friends with, the people I would cut up
Speaker 1: with right like we had like group chats going off,
Speaker 1: like we would do everything together. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: now them reporting to me, and by natural order of
Speaker 1: a power dynamic, things got weird.
Speaker 2: That's messy.
Speaker 1: It's really messy. And the sad thing is it's not
Speaker 1: like anyone sets out to be in a position versus
Speaker 1: another person. It's just the order of it. I'll never
Speaker 1: forget to outside of having to learn my own power
Speaker 1: dynamics seeing this happen in real time. One time I
Speaker 1: was working and I was really close friends with two
Speaker 1: other individuals at a media company, and we were all close,
Speaker 1: like the three of us would do things together, but
Speaker 1: also I would spend independent time with each one of them,
Speaker 1: and they would also spend time independently with each other.
Speaker 1: Chaw one day.
Speaker 2: Wait, I just want to say, trios never.
Speaker 1: Work out, would work out? Odd numbers make me twitch.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. I mean, I have
Speaker 1: three dogs at home, and someone always is getting left out.
Speaker 2: I am one of three siblings, so we work. But
Speaker 2: I think with friendships against especially I.
Speaker 1: Do think so, and I don't think we all love
Speaker 1: each other equally. I just don't think that that can
Speaker 1: work anyway. So I'll never forget. At that point, promotions
Speaker 1: were coming up, and it was between the two of
Speaker 1: them because they were in a in the same division,
Speaker 1: but separate division as me. So I wasn't even going
Speaker 1: up for promotion. I'll never forget. One of them started
Speaker 1: going around the office and telling everybody the other person's business.
Speaker 1: And she would just do like the smallest things, like
Speaker 1: in a meeting, if so and so, let's just use
Speaker 1: person A person B. If person B had an idea,
Speaker 1: person A would cut into them like, well, actually, I
Speaker 1: don't know if that's a good idea because and just
Speaker 1: then they always did it in front of senior leadership,
Speaker 1: and obviously that friendship broke. The gag was neither of
Speaker 1: them got the promotions. I was like, dang, girl, you
Speaker 1: was fighting in the club and didn't even win. And
Speaker 1: obviously then my friendship with that person because I started
Speaker 1: just side eyeing you. I'm like, yeah, you move really weird,
Speaker 1: you move spooky like I don't like that. So even
Speaker 1: though everybody is not that situation, everybody will do that.
Speaker 1: And again, as I said in the beginning of my spiel,
Speaker 1: I do love people. I do also think that I
Speaker 1: have seen enough of these instances where I say, you
Speaker 1: know what, for me personally, I gotta have some boundaries
Speaker 1: and I got to know where to place people in
Speaker 1: a healthy way.
Speaker 2: Obviously, having friends is great, but when it comes to
Speaker 2: work friends, that can get a little complicated. That's next
Speaker 2: after the break. Here's the thing. When it comes to
Speaker 2: building these meaningful connections, you really have to be thoughtful
Speaker 2: and intentional about who you invest your time and energy with.
Speaker 2: You might not be looking for close work friendships, and
Speaker 2: that's totally okay, but you're probably still looking for allies
Speaker 2: and community at work. So either way, you got to
Speaker 2: start somewhere, and I think you know an easy place
Speaker 2: to start. It might sound so simple, you're like, wow, Gianna, groundbreaking.
Speaker 2: It's just asking your coworkers to grab lunch or get coffee.
Speaker 2: And you can even do that virtually, like setting up
Speaker 2: a coffee chat with one of your coworkers. Then it's
Speaker 2: really up to you to decide how much time and
Speaker 2: energy do you want to invest with that person. Maybe
Speaker 2: you commit to a monthly lunch with colleagues, or maybe
Speaker 2: you get lunch with them every day. Right, Like there's
Speaker 2: two extremes, there's an in between. You really have to
Speaker 2: just figure out what works best for you and what
Speaker 2: you're trying to gain out of these friendships. And as
Speaker 2: you're building your relationships, you really have to decide how
Speaker 2: much do you want to blend your personal and professional life,
Speaker 2: which is going to bring us to the topic of boundaries.
Speaker 2: And I will say, though, you can't be friends with
Speaker 2: everyone in the office, Like that's just kind of the
Speaker 2: reality of it all, and that's okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like for me, I'm probably not going to do
Speaker 1: a lunch with everybody. That's just true because I want
Speaker 1: that time to myself. I need a reprogram. I need
Speaker 1: to watch tiktoks, yes while I.
Speaker 2: Chow and I love iPhone time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a little bit of something. But I
Speaker 1: will do a nice little coffee chat just like catch
Speaker 1: up with you. See what you watching, you know what's
Speaker 1: going on. So we are going to talk to the
Speaker 1: wonderful people who send us these questions in Dear Work,
Speaker 1: Best Day, y'ah No. I love this where we answer
Speaker 1: your questions. And this week the question comes from Jarah
Speaker 1: in New.
Speaker 3: York who asks, as an early career professional, I'm figuring
Speaker 3: out how to form meaningful relationships in the office. What
Speaker 3: would you say are some effective strategies for navigating power
Speaker 3: dynamics in the workplace, especially when interacting with senior leaders
Speaker 3: or just colleagues who have more experience than me.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, the thing is, when it comes to
Speaker 2: senior leaders, you're probably not going to be buddy buddy
Speaker 2: with them. That's, you know, the reality of it. But
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean you can't still establish some form of relationship.
Speaker 2: I think the key piece here is you have to
Speaker 2: come from a place of authenticity. Nobody likes you know,
Speaker 2: somebody who's just kissing up for the promotion or whatever
Speaker 2: it might be to get those opportunities. So you really
Speaker 2: have to be authentic about how you're you know, approaching
Speaker 2: and bringing yourself to this relationship and not just wanting
Speaker 2: to be seen as likable so you move up the ladder.
Speaker 2: And I really love how Jarah mentions power dynamics because
Speaker 2: I think that's where it gets a little messy. You
Speaker 2: almost have to just be an observer and like sit
Speaker 2: back in a room and see how everyone's moving right.
Speaker 2: Like a lot of times, if you're getting moved onto
Speaker 2: a new project and you're working with a new team,
Speaker 2: you might not know the power dynamics of that team.
Speaker 2: And I've totally experienced this, you know, I've gone to
Speaker 2: my manager in these moments and been like, Okay, you've
Speaker 2: been here longer than me, what do I kind of
Speaker 2: need to know? Right? Like I need to go in
Speaker 2: and form my own opinion and figure this out for myself.
Speaker 2: But he can add some kind of color to give
Speaker 2: me guidance as I walk into this, so I'm not
Speaker 2: really going in totally blind. So you could always go
Speaker 2: to your manager or a mentor for insight. And also
Speaker 2: I think when it comes to speaking to senior leaders.
Speaker 2: Let's say you want to do a quarterly check in
Speaker 2: with somebody who's higher up on your team. You have
Speaker 2: to approach them knowing what you want to talk about. Like,
Speaker 2: you can't go into these meetings just being like, Hey,
Speaker 2: just wanted to see how it's going. You have to
Speaker 2: come prepared, and I think during that you know, catch up.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you can feel nervous if like, oh, I'm in
Speaker 2: the hot seat. I have their time, right, Their time
Speaker 2: is valuable, so as yours. But you need to come prepared.
Speaker 2: And if they start asking you questions and you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I just don't know like the answer to that, totally
Speaker 2: fine to admit that, right, Like not everybody knows everything,
Speaker 2: And also don't be afreie to ask them questions like
Speaker 2: what's top of mind for them. I think the more
Speaker 2: conversational it can be, the better.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I always say that you need to present yourself
Speaker 1: in the way you want to be received. So if
Speaker 1: you want to be perceived as that inexperienced young professional
Speaker 1: who just talks a whole lot and never gets work done,
Speaker 1: that's how you're going to show up. Show up like that, right,
Speaker 1: But to your point, if you're putting one on one,
Speaker 1: you know, time with your manager a skip level which
Speaker 1: is your manager's manager, or you might even have access
Speaker 1: to people a couple of skip levels up right, then
Speaker 1: you need to go into those meetings really carrying the
Speaker 1: weight of who you want to be seen as. And
Speaker 1: the good thing is all it takes is some due diligence,
Speaker 1: writing out some note, practicing in front of the mirror
Speaker 1: if you get a little shy. I know, for me,
Speaker 1: for instance, sometimes when I do one on ones with
Speaker 1: our VP, I get tongue tied and I get a
Speaker 1: little nervous. So I like to practice, and I like
Speaker 1: to have out like post it notes or data points
Speaker 1: that I really want to highlight. And to your point,
Speaker 1: I always think that showing yourself to be friendly is
Speaker 1: always going to carry It doesn't matter if you are
Speaker 1: just starting out or if you've been in a company
Speaker 1: for thirty forty years. People want to work with nice people,
Speaker 1: and so if you can already start doing that, and
Speaker 1: if you can start showing yourself to be that person
Speaker 1: that people know that they can depend on and that
Speaker 1: they can trust, that is really a great way I
Speaker 1: think you can navigate senior leaders and show yourself to
Speaker 1: be a potential for a senior leader one day.
Speaker 2: I do want to say, like, I think where it
Speaker 2: gets the most complicated is not those close work friends
Speaker 2: around your age or the relationship with a senior leader,
Speaker 2: but the in between, which is the relationship with your manager.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really good call out.
Speaker 2: I think what's important to remind yourself too when it
Speaker 2: comes to, like especially the relationship with your manager, is
Speaker 2: that at the end of the day, they're your boss.
Speaker 2: I think I sometimes have taken like a casual approach,
Speaker 2: and I have to remind myself, like, Okay, I don't
Speaker 2: need to be sharing everything, right, Like, of course there
Speaker 2: are things in my head I know that I won't
Speaker 2: open up about. But even sometimes, like when it comes
Speaker 2: to a workplace problem I'm having, I found myself at
Speaker 2: one point going to my manager and like just like
Speaker 2: complaining about it, and I was like, wait, Okay, this
Speaker 2: is obviously not a good look for me. I need
Speaker 2: to come like more with solutions, right, Like, I know
Speaker 2: he's there to support me and advocate for me. And
Speaker 2: sometimes if I really can't figure it out myself, like
Speaker 2: then I'm gonna really need to go to him, but
Speaker 2: I can come with solutions, not all of my problems.
Speaker 2: So I think it's like really important to remember, like,
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, this person is measuring
Speaker 2: your performance. They're talking to like higher ups about how
Speaker 2: you're doing, so you have to be intentional about how
Speaker 2: you kind of communicate with them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I really want to just like quickly chime
Speaker 1: in on that, g because I think that what you
Speaker 1: said is so important. I think this is something that
Speaker 1: a lot of people will find themselves in at some point.
Speaker 1: But I also want to offer a cautionary tale. When
Speaker 1: I was growing up, my mama used to always say
Speaker 1: to be cautious and mindful about what you say and
Speaker 1: who you're saying it too. And sure enough, I don't
Speaker 1: think I've ever met a single black or Latino woman
Speaker 1: in particular. I'm only speaking from that because that's my experience.
Speaker 1: Who is in corporate America who has said otherwise. There
Speaker 1: is a level of trust that you have to build
Speaker 1: with people, but you also got to make sure that
Speaker 1: you look out for yourself. Because the same way as
Speaker 1: I might very casually be telling my manager about how
Speaker 1: I was turned up on Friday and I was doing
Speaker 1: all this during the weekend. Blah blah blah. You don't
Speaker 1: know if everyone has your best interest at heart, and
Speaker 1: you don't know what malicious intent someone might have that
Speaker 1: then when it comes time for promotion or it comes
Speaker 1: time for upper mobility, they might be like, actually, I
Speaker 1: don't know because so and so they I don't know,
Speaker 1: you know, or if I know. Some people might tell
Speaker 1: their manager, you know, I'm gonna clock out a little early.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to yoga, and you think it's all
Speaker 1: because you go to yoga. They go to yoga, and
Speaker 1: then they're gonna say, actually, we can't put them in
Speaker 1: another role because they leave work early. So I would
Speaker 1: just say, like, you just have to be careful about
Speaker 1: what you tell people. And again, none of this is
Speaker 1: set in stone, right. There are some people like I
Speaker 1: know Gianna's manager and we both love him very much, so,
Speaker 1: but there are other people who all I can just
Speaker 1: say is be cautious about who you tell what to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I feel like everyone could probably relate.
Speaker 2: We're not always telling our manager exactly what we did
Speaker 2: on the weekend. Chill, it was chill, you know, just
Speaker 2: read a book. But yeah, you know, you mentioned this
Speaker 2: idea of trust, and I really do think that builds
Speaker 2: over time, and you really have to also just trust
Speaker 2: your gut with these relationships. Something I really like to
Speaker 2: do is just match the other person's energy. Like if
Speaker 2: we're talking about work friendships here, you know, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: slowly open up as you open up, or like, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to take the lead on this. Sometimes I
Speaker 2: will if there's like so much safety I feel with
Speaker 2: this person, right and we're like bonding in that moment
Speaker 2: for sure, But largely I'm going to just try to
Speaker 2: match somebody else's energy, so as they start opening up,
Speaker 2: I'm going to feel more comfortable doing the same, and
Speaker 2: it's a signal that they're starting to trust you so
Speaker 2: that you can also trust them. Also totally okay to
Speaker 2: have like off the record conversations with people. I've done
Speaker 2: this a thousand times, not a thousand, but a lot
Speaker 2: of times, a lot you know, being like, hey, like
Speaker 2: I'm like just trying to you know, figure something out,
Speaker 2: especially like when it comes to pay right, that's like
Speaker 2: such a taboo topic, especially in an office setting. Sometimes
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, can we like have an off the
Speaker 2: record conversation about X Y? And Z and then you
Speaker 2: know you're able to speak transparently with someone. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I would also say for Jira in particular, because this
Speaker 1: is something that I've been working on a lot. It's
Speaker 1: just the importance of investing in long term friendships or
Speaker 1: relationships or situationships.
Speaker 2: No, not the.
Speaker 1: Workplace friendly version. Okay, this would be a very different podcast. Otherwise,
Speaker 1: I would just say that if you meet a senior
Speaker 1: leader or even your manager right, that you really build
Speaker 1: a great rapport with your friends, your colleagues, figuring out
Speaker 1: those boundaries right again, because again boundary setting is very
Speaker 1: important here. But after that, continue to stay on their
Speaker 1: radar once a quarter, maybe once every six months. I
Speaker 1: love to send former managers if mind, just a quick
Speaker 1: note just being like, Hey, still alive here, this is
Speaker 1: what I'm up to, still surviving and thriving sometimes, and
Speaker 1: it's nice because I think the fear is that people
Speaker 1: don't want these friendships to feel transactional. But there's a
Speaker 1: way to navigate it in which you are still building
Speaker 1: your network, which is going to be the social collateral
Speaker 1: that you will have as you pivot and change into
Speaker 1: job after job after job, but it still can feel
Speaker 1: genuine and unique to you. So send people you know
Speaker 1: a thank you note afterward. You know, wish people happy
Speaker 1: birthday if you know it's their birthday day, or you know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I will see on social media that someone is
Speaker 1: celebrating an anniversary and I wish them a happy anniversary.
Speaker 1: Little small things like that, right, Because again, showing yourself
Speaker 1: to be kind and friendly and a team player is
Speaker 1: going to take you a long way. And one of
Speaker 1: the things that I see sometimes is that you will
Speaker 1: leave a job and you will leave all those friendships behind.
Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. If you leave a job and
Speaker 1: that person who you used to chat it up with
Speaker 1: every single day y'all used to go about that was
Speaker 1: your roll dog. You know, y'all was riding down the
Speaker 1: hood together all this stuff. If all of a sudden
Speaker 1: they never check for you ever again, now you know
Speaker 1: exactly where to place them in your life. But I
Speaker 1: do also believe that in that same vein, you can
Speaker 1: create real friendships with people who you keep up with.
Speaker 1: The person who I told you was in my wedding,
Speaker 1: she don't even work here no more. Like, So we
Speaker 1: have to actually take an intentional approach to creating that
Speaker 1: friendship and keeping it up. But it all started in here,
Speaker 1: it went down and LinkedIn and then it's just now
Speaker 1: out in the streets. To take a short break, there's
Speaker 1: still more talk about friendship and also would you take
Speaker 1: a pay cunt for your pet? I got thoughts that's next.
Speaker 1: So hopefully after listening to today's episode, you are starting
Speaker 1: to ask yourself the questions about workplace friendships and how
Speaker 1: you want to go about it. For me, I think
Speaker 1: one thing I'm taking away from this conversation is that,
Speaker 1: however you want to shake this out, it's okay. You
Speaker 1: can have all the friends in the workforce, or you
Speaker 1: can have no friends and keep it, you know, just
Speaker 1: pushing p P asn't professional like. However you want to
Speaker 1: do this, it's up to you. And also I would
Speaker 1: say that creating those boundaries is important. Ask yourself and
Speaker 1: vet this question. Are you okay with someone knowing whatever
Speaker 1: information you're about to give them if they were not
Speaker 1: your friend? If the answer is H, actually would not
Speaker 1: want somebody to know that, maybe that will also help
Speaker 1: evaluate if that's information that you should exchange with someone else.
Speaker 1: What about you, Giana.
Speaker 2: Something I've learned is that how you prioritize workplace relationships
Speaker 2: is just going to naturally shift throughout your career. But
Speaker 2: one thing that will kind of always just hold true
Speaker 2: is that you want allies and you want community at work,
Speaker 2: even if you're not seeking those close friendships. So it
Speaker 2: all comes down to like being friendly, showing up, and
Speaker 2: like caring about people, but respecting your own boundaries and
Speaker 2: being intentional about where and who you're spending your time
Speaker 2: and energy with. So you just need to decide that
Speaker 2: all for yourself, like you were saying, and you can
Speaker 2: never go wrong with just showing up and being friendly.
Speaker 1: I know that's right now talking about being friendly. Uh,
Speaker 1: I got something for you, Gianna. Guess what I got?
Speaker 1: I got receipts you guys, re seats, But just a
Speaker 1: nice little bit we like to do where we pull
Speaker 1: things up and we essentially discuss are there receipts to
Speaker 1: back up or prove? Honestly, it's all also a good
Speaker 1: way from John and I to learn about each other
Speaker 1: a little bit more so. This week we are tackling
Speaker 1: an interesting myth here.
Speaker 2: We've got a headline this week from Fortune magazine. So
Speaker 2: it appears that millennials and gen zers are willing to
Speaker 2: take a pay cut so they can spend more time
Speaker 2: with their pets. What, you're the dog owner here, so
Speaker 2: I'll let you take it first. What do you think?
Speaker 1: Let me get this straight. People want to take less
Speaker 1: money so that they can spend more time at home
Speaker 1: with their animals that don't pay bills. Yes, absolutely not?
Speaker 1: What is what?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: See?
Speaker 2: You wouldn't?
Speaker 1: My dog had an ear infection last week. I had
Speaker 1: to take time off work and take her eight hundred
Speaker 1: dollars for them to give me droplets to put in
Speaker 1: her ears.
Speaker 2: Excuse me?
Speaker 1: What? You want me to take less money? But you
Speaker 1: expec like that?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Absolutely no. That's why she's in commercials because you got
Speaker 1: to pay some bills around here, baby girl, Like mommy
Speaker 1: cannot do that.
Speaker 2: You're so? She literally does pay the bills.
Speaker 1: She does pay, but she pays for expensive prestige treats. Yes,
Speaker 1: but not enough to be covering this. Absolutely not. What
Speaker 1: are y'all do?
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be that aggressive,
Speaker 1: but like, no, and I love my pets so much.
Speaker 1: I love my dogs. I love them, but we we
Speaker 1: leave them money out on the table.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not a pet owner, but I can't imagine
Speaker 2: that I would take a pay cut for my you know,
Speaker 2: unborn pet.
Speaker 1: Why.
Speaker 2: But the thing is, like, I posted about this on
Speaker 2: LinkedIn because I'm like, whoa this is? I mean, I like,
Speaker 2: I just wanted to know, like what are people saying
Speaker 2: about this? And honestly, the results really pretty split. Some
Speaker 2: members were literally like, yeah, my dog does not pay
Speaker 2: my bills or my hamster does not pay my bills.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna take a pay cut. But some people
Speaker 2: were like, yeah, I've already done this. I've you know,
Speaker 2: taken a pay cut to work remote so I have
Speaker 2: or time at home with my pet. But across it all,
Speaker 2: people were sharing picks of their pets, which I really appreciated.
Speaker 1: That's the real gift of this, you know. I can
Speaker 1: imagine if you have like a low overhead, right, Like,
Speaker 1: if it doesn't require a lot of money for you
Speaker 1: to live, right, maybe you live in a city that
Speaker 1: is a little bit more affordable. Maybe your rent or
Speaker 1: your mortgage or whatever situation you're in, you can afford it, right,
Speaker 1: maybe taking a slight pay decrease is feasible. I am
Speaker 1: a high maintenance woman, like I require it's hard for
Speaker 1: me to afford myself. Yeah, let alone. I feel that then,
Speaker 1: you know, then let alone. Then adding in the extra
Speaker 1: elements of taking care of dogs and living in New
Speaker 1: York and then training and all that stuff. So I
Speaker 1: also think that there is an opportunity here to say
Speaker 1: that this is also a situational thing. Maybe some people
Speaker 1: they can afford to do it, but other we gotta
Speaker 1: go out here and make this money. Okay, and my
Speaker 1: dogs too. I'm about to put the other two in
Speaker 1: commercials too. Everybody got to pull their way working. I
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like Gypsy, like my mama Rose here,
Speaker 1: I am taking my work. Make mama stop baby.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess it does depend on how much of
Speaker 2: a pay cut are we talking, So you guys, let
Speaker 2: us know would you take a pay cut for your pets.
Speaker 2: We'll discuss it more in the newsletter this week, so
Speaker 2: let us know they're in the comments and send us
Speaker 2: photos of your pets. Yeah, please? Oh woof speaking because
Speaker 2: this was.
Speaker 1: A fun episode. Thank you guys so much for listening.
Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying the community we're building here.
Speaker 2: Me too, all right. I mentioned the newsletter earlier, and
Speaker 2: make sure you're following it. If you're not already, you
Speaker 2: can find the link in the show description, also in
Speaker 2: the bio of my LinkedIn profile. It's called you Guessed It.
Speaker 2: Let's talk offline. We go even deeper into the topics
Speaker 2: we discuss on the pod with some exclusive content. And
Speaker 2: this week we're gonna be talking about how to build
Speaker 2: a relationship with a mentor.
Speaker 1: Ooh, very spicy. I'm gonna make sure I read that. Also,
Speaker 1: we want to think Yiah for sending in that wonderful question.
Speaker 1: We like Jarah, Be like Jarah. You guys, If you
Speaker 1: guys have questions for us, make sure you send those in.
Speaker 1: Information on how to do that is also in the
Speaker 1: show description. Check the show description. Do not say I
Speaker 1: don't know how to do some It is in the
Speaker 1: show description. Child, okay, and also make sure you go
Speaker 1: on and review and follow the podcast. You have been
Speaker 1: hanging out with me and Gianna for a few weeks.
Speaker 1: Now you like us. Let's make an official.
Speaker 2: One last thing. Remember we have always got your back,
Speaker 2: so if something comes up in the meantime, we'll talk offline.
Speaker 2: I'm Giana Prdente.
Speaker 1: And I'm Jamie Jackson Gadson, Stay thriving.
Speaker 2: Let's Talk Offline is a production of LinkedIn News and
Speaker 2: iHeart Podcasts. The show is produced by Western Sound. Our
Speaker 2: producer is Sabrina Fang. The show is edited by Savannah Wright.
Speaker 2: Our associate producer is Sarah Dilley. Alex mckinnis is our engineer,
Speaker 2: and Ben Adair is the executive producer.
Speaker 1: Executive producers at iHeart Podcasts are Katrina Noravel, Nikki Etour.
Speaker 1: We got support from LinkedIn's Jesse Hemple, Sarah Storm and
Speaker 1: Ayana Angel. Maya Pope Chappelle is director of Content, Dave
Speaker 1: Pond is head of News Production, Courtney Coop is Head
Speaker 1: of Original Programming, and Dan Roth is the editor in
Speaker 1: chief of LinkedIn