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Speaker 1: LinkedIn News. There is a level of trust that you

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Speaker 1: have to build with people, but you also got to

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Speaker 1: make sure that you look out for yourself because the

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Speaker 1: same way as I might very casually be telling my

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Speaker 1: manager about how I was turned up on Friday and

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Speaker 1: I was doing all this during the weekend, blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: you don't know if everyone has your best interest at heart,

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Speaker 1: and you don't know what malicious intent someone might have

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Speaker 1: that then when it comes time for promotion or it

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Speaker 1: comes time for upper mobility, they might be like, actually,

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Speaker 1: I don't know because so and so they so I

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Speaker 1: would just say, like, be cautious about who you tell

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Speaker 1: what to.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I feel like everyone could probably relate.

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Speaker 2: We're not always telling our manager exactly what we did

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Speaker 2: on the weekend. Kay, it was chill, you know. Just

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Speaker 2: reread a book from LinkedIn News and I heard podcasts.

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Speaker 2: This is Let's Talk Offline, a show about what it

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Speaker 2: tastes to thrive in the early years of your career

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Speaker 2: without sacrificing your values, sanity, or a sleep. I'm Gianna PRDENTI.

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Speaker 1: And I'm Jamay Jackson Gadsden. I recently learned a really

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Speaker 1: interesting fact y'all, people spend an average of ninety thousand

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Speaker 1: hours at work. Honey, that is a lot of hours. Like,

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Speaker 1: what in the world I remember thinking? That means that

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Speaker 1: they're air ninety thousand plus opportunities to make workplace friendships.

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Speaker 1: And obviously friendships can be great, right, but also maybe

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Speaker 1: this is the cynicism in me, it also can be

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Speaker 1: a place for workplace enemies. Dun dundune. So you always

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Speaker 1: got to figure out how do I navigate workplace friendships

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Speaker 1: and how do I separate personal from professional?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like, is it cool to talk to my coworkers

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Speaker 2: about my love life?

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Speaker 1: Oooh cringe?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what about how my therapy SA

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Speaker 2: should went oooh trauma bonding? Yeah, I mean that's real.

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Speaker 2: You know, something I've definitely realized since starting my career

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Speaker 2: is that it's important to have work friends. It's something

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Speaker 2: I want because I want to go to work because

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Speaker 2: I like the people who I work with. But of

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Speaker 2: course it's tricky when there's all these dynamics to consider.

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Speaker 2: So we're gonna walk you through that slippery, slippery slope

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Speaker 2: of workplace friendships.

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Speaker 1: So today Giann and I are talking about navigating workplace friendships,

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Speaker 1: which I know she and I both have very strong

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Speaker 1: opinions of. And this is a topic that not only

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Speaker 1: we are passionate to talk about, but also LinkedIn itself

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Speaker 1: has data around. An interesting statistic that we read was

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Speaker 1: that fifty five percent of gen Zers and forty six

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Speaker 1: percent of millennials say they need work friends. This is

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Speaker 1: compared to thirty four percent of Gen xers and thirty

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Speaker 1: three percent of Baby boomers. So the gen Zers and

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Speaker 1: the millennials are demanding more workplace friendships.

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Speaker 2: I totally identify with that stat do you No, I

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Speaker 2: will get into that, but you know, it's funny we're

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Speaker 2: talking about this topic because I saw this headline that

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Speaker 2: said work is not a place to make friends, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh, okay, you did.

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Speaker 1: You may write that article.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, we gotta get into that. No, but I

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Speaker 2: was like, okay, So obviously people approach workplace friendships differently,

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Speaker 2: and workplace relationships in general, if we take a step back,

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Speaker 2: come in many forms. Right, you have your work friends,

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Speaker 2: your manager, your mentor. But we're talking specifically about work

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Speaker 2: friendships here, and like anything, obviously there may be some downsides,

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Speaker 2: which you know, explain the headline I guess so some

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Speaker 2: cons to workplace friendships. We are complex humans, so they

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Speaker 2: just add complexities to the workplace. You know, you might

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Speaker 2: feel loyal to certain people because of the relationship that

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Speaker 2: you form. They can also create like an us versus

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Speaker 2: them mentality and this like clicky culture. Also, friendships can

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Speaker 2: encourage gossiping and drama. I mean, I feel like everybody's

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Speaker 2: been there. You find yourself like deep in the weeds

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Speaker 2: of some drama and you're like, wait, I gotta take

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Speaker 2: a step back. And it also blurs the line between

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Speaker 2: your personal and professional life, which can of course impact

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Speaker 2: your mental health. I think if you have a close

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Speaker 2: work friend, maybe you guys are calling each other after

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Speaker 2: hours and you're still bringing up work stuff, right, it

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Speaker 2: kind of just becomes more consuming. But I see, like

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Speaker 2: there are many benefits to work friendships. One, it makes

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Speaker 2: you feel less lonely and socially isolated, which is especially

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Speaker 2: important if you're working in a remote and hybrid job.

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Speaker 2: Workplace friendships also boost happiness and job satisfaction overall, and

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Speaker 2: they create a sense of belonging in an environment of support.

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Speaker 2: There's like this transparency aspect of it. Right, If you

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Speaker 2: have a close work friend or even just an ally

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Speaker 2: you maybe are able to talk transparently about pay and

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Speaker 2: other things that go on just to kind of boost

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Speaker 2: your overall you know, knowledge of what's going on at work.

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Speaker 2: But of course it's a double edge sword, right, Like

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Speaker 2: workplace friendships make us more invested, which can make us

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Speaker 2: like our jobs more, but also when we leave or

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Speaker 2: a friends live, then it becomes really difficult.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that you've highlighted the pros and cons

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Speaker 1: of this, because at the end of the day, I

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Speaker 1: really think that neither you or I or anyone can

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Speaker 1: tell someone exactly what they need to do, So it

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Speaker 1: really comes down to you deciding what feels good for you.

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Speaker 1: But what I really appreciate is that a lot of

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Speaker 1: this comes down to dynamics and power. Dynamics, especially in

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Speaker 1: the workforce, are so important figuring out if I can

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Speaker 1: make a friendship with my manager or a certain coworker,

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Speaker 1: maybe that coworker is more senior than I am, what

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Speaker 1: happens when a friend becomes my manager or vice versa.

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Speaker 1: So there's just so many different things that you have

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Speaker 1: to navigate, and you have to figure out what works

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Speaker 1: for me. And I think that these are the questions

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Speaker 1: that a lot of people are asking. Especially what I

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Speaker 1: found to be interesting was that gen z ers want that,

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Speaker 1: but then you guys also really want separation of like

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Speaker 1: work and personal, which I think is very interesting because

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Speaker 1: the stats almost contradict themselves. But there also is a

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Speaker 1: marriage there. And another thing that I was thinking of

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Speaker 1: as you were talking about the pros and cons is

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Speaker 1: also the additional pressure of maybe people from different communities,

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Speaker 1: whether it's marginalized communities like people of color, people from

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Speaker 1: different socioeconomic backgrounds, or even just women in the workforce

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Speaker 1: who have to kind of navigate these power dynamics. You know,

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Speaker 1: think about all like the high profile women executives that

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Speaker 1: you've seen talk about how in order for them to

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Speaker 1: get into the C suite they had to be quote

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Speaker 1: unquote one of the boys, right, or they had to

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Speaker 1: learn how to speak jargon or keep up with men.

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Speaker 1: I know, for me, even as I was growing up,

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Speaker 1: I was always encourage go to the happy hours, go

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Speaker 1: to the team socials. You don't have to do anything

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Speaker 1: there but just show yourself to be friendly. And it

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Speaker 1: kind of sucks that we have to do that, but

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Speaker 1: I do think that that also goes back to if

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Speaker 1: you feel friendly, people are willing to look out for you,

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Speaker 1: which is why this topic I feel is very timely

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Speaker 1: and super fun. So Gianna, let me ask you first,

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Speaker 1: how do you approach workplace friendships and like, what has

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Speaker 1: been your experience with that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know, life after college can be lonely.

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Speaker 2: I think when I graduated, it was summer. It was

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Speaker 2: so exciting. You're busy, and then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: the fall rules around. Your friends are starting their jobs,

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Speaker 2: and this postgrad transition really starts to settle in and

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Speaker 2: it's lonely. Right, Like, I started my job in twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty one, so it's still like pandemic years and gen

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Speaker 2: Z really experienced a loneliness like epidemic at that time.

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Speaker 2: We one just navigated college during the pandemic, so we

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Speaker 2: already were feeling isolated, and then entered the workforce having

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Speaker 2: fully remote jobs, so we missed out on those in

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Speaker 2: person connections. And I remember, yeah, I was so excited

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Speaker 2: to have a remote job. But now what you know,

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Speaker 2: we have to relearn how to make friends. Our friends

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Speaker 2: from college or maybe moving away. They're starting their own

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Speaker 2: journeys and it can feel really isolating in that time,

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Speaker 2: So you know, when you're navigating adulthood, leaning into your

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Speaker 2: work environment to make friends kind of happens naturally, I

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Speaker 2: think for a lot of us, And depending on the

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Speaker 2: workplace where you join, you're likely surrounded by people who

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Speaker 2: have had similar shared experiences. They may be in a

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Speaker 2: similar point in their lives, so naturally you kind of

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Speaker 2: bond together. So I've prioritized workplace friendship since I started

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Speaker 2: my career. Some I'll be transparent, some of these relationships

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Speaker 2: were kind of born out of trauma bonding. I love you, know,

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Speaker 2: I think you in those instances. You have to be

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Speaker 2: cautious that that doesn't become the whole relationship, right, Like

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Speaker 2: it's not just negative talk all the time. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: those a lot of my relationships have happened naturally, and

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Speaker 2: it's something I was definitely intentional about. And I also

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Speaker 2: took advantage of every mentorship opportunity that was offered by

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Speaker 2: the company. Luckily, We've had a few programs in my

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Speaker 2: time here, and every time I've signed up and I've

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Speaker 2: been a mentee. So that's kind of how I've approached it.

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Speaker 2: But I'm curious from you over the course of your

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Speaker 2: career how has that shifted for you totally.

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Speaker 1: I love that you mentioned about trauma bonding as a

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Speaker 1: friendship because it's true, and I think the terrifying thing

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Speaker 1: is that you are initially bounded by other people by

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Speaker 1: this thing, but then when one of y'all heals, the

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Speaker 1: friendship is over. But then you look flaky, But really

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Speaker 1: you just went out and got healed, and everybody else

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Speaker 1: you got better, right, and everybody else is still wherever

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Speaker 1: they're at. For me, I would say that I agree

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Speaker 1: with you in the sense that it's important to have

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Speaker 1: friendships and people who at least make coming to work

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Speaker 1: fun or good. You're going to be here for a

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Speaker 1: long time, right, literally the hours in the day, but

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Speaker 1: then also over the course of your life. However, I

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Speaker 1: have also learned that if you get too close to fire,

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Speaker 1: it can burn you. And I think for me, well,

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Speaker 1: let me take a step back first and just preface

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Speaker 1: this by saying that if you are listening to this

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Speaker 1: and if you work with me, it is not that

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Speaker 1: I do not like you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, getting nervous over.

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Speaker 1: Here, Like to me, it's like, dang, I thought we

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Speaker 1: were friends, girl. No, I love people. I just find

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Speaker 1: that if I really want to be true to having

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Speaker 1: a separation of work and personal. That also does require

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Speaker 1: figuring out where do I place people? And this is

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Speaker 1: not everybody, right, Like I have some people who I've

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Speaker 1: worked with and they have been in my wedding. I

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Speaker 1: go out with them on the weekends. You know, we

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Speaker 1: keep in contact after where like people I call up

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Speaker 1: on the phone and I would chat, I'll cry on

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Speaker 1: the phone, which you live like? Those are unique, but

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Speaker 1: I don't really come into the workforce looking for that

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Speaker 1: for me. I would say that also, having worked in

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Speaker 1: certain industries like fashion and entertainment, I had to learn

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Speaker 1: very early on a lot of these relationships were transactional

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Speaker 1: and you can still make friendships in those spaces, but

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Speaker 1: you have to sort of dissect who wants what from

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Speaker 1: you when. And this is the same thing that happens

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Speaker 1: in corporate right, Like think about it. You are here

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Speaker 1: because you are offering an exchange of goods and services,

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Speaker 1: So they're already from the jump, before that friendship was

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Speaker 1: even formed. Is a transaction happening. You know, you can

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Speaker 1: come into work if all of a sudden you stop

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Speaker 1: doing your work. Your friends can't save you, like they're

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Speaker 1: gonna be making sure that they're good with their job.

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Speaker 1: So for me, I would say that I learned pretty

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Speaker 1: early on this idea of like navigating the space and

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Speaker 1: being friendly without being friends. You can still show up

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Speaker 1: and be kind professional, really care about people, but there

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Speaker 1: also has to be a point where this stops. And

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Speaker 1: I would say for me, one of the biggest lessons

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Speaker 1: in all of that was when I became a manager

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Speaker 1: for the first time. I've been a manager a couple

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Speaker 1: of times throughout my career, and each time I had

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Speaker 1: to navigate this really sticky situation of the people who

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Speaker 1: I was friends with, the people I would cut up

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Speaker 1: with right like we had like group chats going off,

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Speaker 1: like we would do everything together. All of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: now them reporting to me, and by natural order of

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Speaker 1: a power dynamic, things got weird.

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Speaker 2: That's messy.

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Speaker 1: It's really messy. And the sad thing is it's not

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Speaker 1: like anyone sets out to be in a position versus

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Speaker 1: another person. It's just the order of it. I'll never

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Speaker 1: forget to outside of having to learn my own power

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Speaker 1: dynamics seeing this happen in real time. One time I

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Speaker 1: was working and I was really close friends with two

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Speaker 1: other individuals at a media company, and we were all close,

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Speaker 1: like the three of us would do things together, but

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Speaker 1: also I would spend independent time with each one of them,

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Speaker 1: and they would also spend time independently with each other.

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Speaker 1: Chaw one day.

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Speaker 2: Wait, I just want to say, trios never.

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Speaker 1: Work out, would work out? Odd numbers make me twitch.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. I mean, I have

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Speaker 1: three dogs at home, and someone always is getting left out.

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Speaker 2: I am one of three siblings, so we work. But

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Speaker 2: I think with friendships against especially I.

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Speaker 1: Do think so, and I don't think we all love

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Speaker 1: each other equally. I just don't think that that can

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Speaker 1: work anyway. So I'll never forget. At that point, promotions

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Speaker 1: were coming up, and it was between the two of

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Speaker 1: them because they were in a in the same division,

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Speaker 1: but separate division as me. So I wasn't even going

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Speaker 1: up for promotion. I'll never forget. One of them started

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Speaker 1: going around the office and telling everybody the other person's business.

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Speaker 1: And she would just do like the smallest things, like

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Speaker 1: in a meeting, if so and so, let's just use

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Speaker 1: person A person B. If person B had an idea,

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Speaker 1: person A would cut into them like, well, actually, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if that's a good idea because and just

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Speaker 1: then they always did it in front of senior leadership,

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Speaker 1: and obviously that friendship broke. The gag was neither of

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Speaker 1: them got the promotions. I was like, dang, girl, you

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Speaker 1: was fighting in the club and didn't even win. And

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Speaker 1: obviously then my friendship with that person because I started

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Speaker 1: just side eyeing you. I'm like, yeah, you move really weird,

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Speaker 1: you move spooky like I don't like that. So even

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Speaker 1: though everybody is not that situation, everybody will do that.

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Speaker 1: And again, as I said in the beginning of my spiel,

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Speaker 1: I do love people. I do also think that I

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Speaker 1: have seen enough of these instances where I say, you

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Speaker 1: know what, for me personally, I gotta have some boundaries

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Speaker 1: and I got to know where to place people in

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Speaker 1: a healthy way.

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Speaker 2: Obviously, having friends is great, but when it comes to

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Speaker 2: work friends, that can get a little complicated. That's next

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Speaker 2: after the break. Here's the thing. When it comes to

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Speaker 2: building these meaningful connections, you really have to be thoughtful

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Speaker 2: and intentional about who you invest your time and energy with.

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Speaker 2: You might not be looking for close work friendships, and

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Speaker 2: that's totally okay, but you're probably still looking for allies

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Speaker 2: and community at work. So either way, you got to

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Speaker 2: start somewhere, and I think you know an easy place

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Speaker 2: to start. It might sound so simple, you're like, wow, Gianna, groundbreaking.

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Speaker 2: It's just asking your coworkers to grab lunch or get coffee.

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Speaker 2: And you can even do that virtually, like setting up

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Speaker 2: a coffee chat with one of your coworkers. Then it's

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Speaker 2: really up to you to decide how much time and

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Speaker 2: energy do you want to invest with that person. Maybe

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Speaker 2: you commit to a monthly lunch with colleagues, or maybe

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Speaker 2: you get lunch with them every day. Right, Like there's

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Speaker 2: two extremes, there's an in between. You really have to

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Speaker 2: just figure out what works best for you and what

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Speaker 2: you're trying to gain out of these friendships. And as

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Speaker 2: you're building your relationships, you really have to decide how

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Speaker 2: much do you want to blend your personal and professional life,

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Speaker 2: which is going to bring us to the topic of boundaries.

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Speaker 2: And I will say, though, you can't be friends with

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Speaker 2: everyone in the office, Like that's just kind of the

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Speaker 2: reality of it all, and that's okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Like for me, I'm probably not going to do

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Speaker 1: a lunch with everybody. That's just true because I want

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Speaker 1: that time to myself. I need a reprogram. I need

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Speaker 1: to watch tiktoks, yes while I.

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Speaker 2: Chow and I love iPhone time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a little bit of something. But I

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Speaker 1: will do a nice little coffee chat just like catch

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Speaker 1: up with you. See what you watching, you know what's

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Speaker 1: going on. So we are going to talk to the

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Speaker 1: wonderful people who send us these questions in Dear Work,

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Speaker 1: Best Day, y'ah No. I love this where we answer

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Speaker 1: your questions. And this week the question comes from Jarah

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Speaker 1: in New.

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Speaker 3: York who asks, as an early career professional, I'm figuring

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Speaker 3: out how to form meaningful relationships in the office. What

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Speaker 3: would you say are some effective strategies for navigating power

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Speaker 3: dynamics in the workplace, especially when interacting with senior leaders

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Speaker 3: or just colleagues who have more experience than me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, the thing is, when it comes to

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Speaker 2: senior leaders, you're probably not going to be buddy buddy

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Speaker 2: with them. That's, you know, the reality of it. But

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Speaker 2: that doesn't mean you can't still establish some form of relationship.

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Speaker 2: I think the key piece here is you have to

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Speaker 2: come from a place of authenticity. Nobody likes you know,

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Speaker 2: somebody who's just kissing up for the promotion or whatever

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Speaker 2: it might be to get those opportunities. So you really

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Speaker 2: have to be authentic about how you're you know, approaching

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Speaker 2: and bringing yourself to this relationship and not just wanting

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Speaker 2: to be seen as likable so you move up the ladder.

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Speaker 2: And I really love how Jarah mentions power dynamics because

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Speaker 2: I think that's where it gets a little messy. You

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Speaker 2: almost have to just be an observer and like sit

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Speaker 2: back in a room and see how everyone's moving right.

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Speaker 2: Like a lot of times, if you're getting moved onto

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Speaker 2: a new project and you're working with a new team,

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Speaker 2: you might not know the power dynamics of that team.

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Speaker 2: And I've totally experienced this, you know, I've gone to

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Speaker 2: my manager in these moments and been like, Okay, you've

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Speaker 2: been here longer than me, what do I kind of

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Speaker 2: need to know? Right? Like I need to go in

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Speaker 2: and form my own opinion and figure this out for myself.

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Speaker 2: But he can add some kind of color to give

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Speaker 2: me guidance as I walk into this, so I'm not

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Speaker 2: really going in totally blind. So you could always go

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Speaker 2: to your manager or a mentor for insight. And also

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Speaker 2: I think when it comes to speaking to senior leaders.

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Speaker 2: Let's say you want to do a quarterly check in

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Speaker 2: with somebody who's higher up on your team. You have

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Speaker 2: to approach them knowing what you want to talk about. Like,

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Speaker 2: you can't go into these meetings just being like, Hey,

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Speaker 2: just wanted to see how it's going. You have to

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Speaker 2: come prepared, and I think during that you know, catch up.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes you can feel nervous if like, oh, I'm in

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Speaker 2: the hot seat. I have their time, right, Their time

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Speaker 2: is valuable, so as yours. But you need to come prepared.

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Speaker 2: And if they start asking you questions and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I just don't know like the answer to that, totally

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Speaker 2: fine to admit that, right, Like not everybody knows everything,

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Speaker 2: And also don't be afreie to ask them questions like

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Speaker 2: what's top of mind for them. I think the more

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Speaker 2: conversational it can be, the better.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I always say that you need to present yourself

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Speaker 1: in the way you want to be received. So if

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Speaker 1: you want to be perceived as that inexperienced young professional

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Speaker 1: who just talks a whole lot and never gets work done,

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Speaker 1: that's how you're going to show up. Show up like that, right,

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Speaker 1: But to your point, if you're putting one on one,

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Speaker 1: you know, time with your manager a skip level which

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Speaker 1: is your manager's manager, or you might even have access

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Speaker 1: to people a couple of skip levels up right, then

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Speaker 1: you need to go into those meetings really carrying the

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Speaker 1: weight of who you want to be seen as. And

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Speaker 1: the good thing is all it takes is some due diligence,

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Speaker 1: writing out some note, practicing in front of the mirror

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Speaker 1: if you get a little shy. I know, for me,

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Speaker 1: for instance, sometimes when I do one on ones with

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Speaker 1: our VP, I get tongue tied and I get a

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Speaker 1: little nervous. So I like to practice, and I like

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Speaker 1: to have out like post it notes or data points

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Speaker 1: that I really want to highlight. And to your point,

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Speaker 1: I always think that showing yourself to be friendly is

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Speaker 1: always going to carry It doesn't matter if you are

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Speaker 1: just starting out or if you've been in a company

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Speaker 1: for thirty forty years. People want to work with nice people,

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Speaker 1: and so if you can already start doing that, and

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Speaker 1: if you can start showing yourself to be that person

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Speaker 1: that people know that they can depend on and that

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Speaker 1: they can trust, that is really a great way I

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Speaker 1: think you can navigate senior leaders and show yourself to

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Speaker 1: be a potential for a senior leader one day.

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Speaker 2: I do want to say, like, I think where it

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Speaker 2: gets the most complicated is not those close work friends

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Speaker 2: around your age or the relationship with a senior leader,

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Speaker 2: but the in between, which is the relationship with your manager.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really good call out.

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Speaker 2: I think what's important to remind yourself too when it

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Speaker 2: comes to, like especially the relationship with your manager, is

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Speaker 2: that at the end of the day, they're your boss.

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Speaker 2: I think I sometimes have taken like a casual approach,

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Speaker 2: and I have to remind myself, like, Okay, I don't

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Speaker 2: need to be sharing everything, right, Like, of course there

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Speaker 2: are things in my head I know that I won't

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Speaker 2: open up about. But even sometimes, like when it comes

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Speaker 2: to a workplace problem I'm having, I found myself at

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Speaker 2: one point going to my manager and like just like

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Speaker 2: complaining about it, and I was like, wait, Okay, this

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Speaker 2: is obviously not a good look for me. I need

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Speaker 2: to come like more with solutions, right, Like, I know

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Speaker 2: he's there to support me and advocate for me. And

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Speaker 2: sometimes if I really can't figure it out myself, like

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Speaker 2: then I'm gonna really need to go to him, but

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Speaker 2: I can come with solutions, not all of my problems.

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Speaker 2: So I think it's like really important to remember, like,

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Speaker 2: at the end of the day, this person is measuring

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Speaker 2: your performance. They're talking to like higher ups about how

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Speaker 2: you're doing, so you have to be intentional about how

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Speaker 2: you kind of communicate with them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I really want to just like quickly chime

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Speaker 1: in on that, g because I think that what you

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Speaker 1: said is so important. I think this is something that

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Speaker 1: a lot of people will find themselves in at some point.

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Speaker 1: But I also want to offer a cautionary tale. When

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Speaker 1: I was growing up, my mama used to always say

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Speaker 1: to be cautious and mindful about what you say and

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Speaker 1: who you're saying it too. And sure enough, I don't

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Speaker 1: think I've ever met a single black or Latino woman

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Speaker 1: in particular. I'm only speaking from that because that's my experience.

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Speaker 1: Who is in corporate America who has said otherwise. There

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Speaker 1: is a level of trust that you have to build

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Speaker 1: with people, but you also got to make sure that

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Speaker 1: you look out for yourself. Because the same way as

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Speaker 1: I might very casually be telling my manager about how

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Speaker 1: I was turned up on Friday and I was doing

435
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,119
Speaker 1: all this during the weekend. Blah blah blah. You don't

436
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 1: know if everyone has your best interest at heart, and

437
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 1: you don't know what malicious intent someone might have that

438
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 1: then when it comes time for promotion or it comes

439
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: time for upper mobility, they might be like, actually, I

440
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,199
Speaker 1: don't know because so and so they I don't know,

441
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 1: you know, or if I know. Some people might tell

442
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 1: their manager, you know, I'm gonna clock out a little early.

443
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to yoga, and you think it's all

444
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 1: because you go to yoga. They go to yoga, and

445
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,200
Speaker 1: then they're gonna say, actually, we can't put them in

446
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,200
Speaker 1: another role because they leave work early. So I would

447
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 1: just say, like, you just have to be careful about

448
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: what you tell people. And again, none of this is

449
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,159
Speaker 1: set in stone, right. There are some people like I

450
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 1: know Gianna's manager and we both love him very much, so,

451
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,199
Speaker 1: but there are other people who all I can just

452
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,720
Speaker 1: say is be cautious about who you tell what to.

453
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I feel like everyone could probably relate.

454
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:28,800
Speaker 2: We're not always telling our manager exactly what we did

455
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:33,199
Speaker 2: on the weekend. Chill, it was chill, you know, just

456
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 2: read a book. But yeah, you know, you mentioned this

457
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,160
Speaker 2: idea of trust, and I really do think that builds

458
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 2: over time, and you really have to also just trust

459
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:45,159
Speaker 2: your gut with these relationships. Something I really like to

460
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: do is just match the other person's energy. Like if

461
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 2: we're talking about work friendships here, you know, I'm gonna

462
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 2: slowly open up as you open up, or like, I'm

463
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,639
Speaker 2: not going to take the lead on this. Sometimes I

464
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,679
Speaker 2: will if there's like so much safety I feel with

465
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 2: this person, right and we're like bonding in that moment

466
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,679
Speaker 2: for sure, But largely I'm going to just try to

467
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 2: match somebody else's energy, so as they start opening up,

468
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 2: I'm going to feel more comfortable doing the same, and

469
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,119
Speaker 2: it's a signal that they're starting to trust you so

470
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 2: that you can also trust them. Also totally okay to

471
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 2: have like off the record conversations with people. I've done

472
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 2: this a thousand times, not a thousand, but a lot

473
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,480
Speaker 2: of times, a lot you know, being like, hey, like

474
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 2: I'm like just trying to you know, figure something out,

475
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 2: especially like when it comes to pay right, that's like

476
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 2: such a taboo topic, especially in an office setting. Sometimes

477
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, can we like have an off the

478
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 2: record conversation about X Y? And Z and then you

479
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,119
Speaker 2: know you're able to speak transparently with someone. Yeah.

480
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 1: I would also say for Jira in particular, because this

481
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,040
Speaker 1: is something that I've been working on a lot. It's

482
00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 1: just the importance of investing in long term friendships or

483
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,400
Speaker 1: relationships or situationships.

484
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:54,880
Speaker 2: No, not the.

485
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:58,360
Speaker 1: Workplace friendly version. Okay, this would be a very different podcast. Otherwise,

486
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,919
Speaker 1: I would just say that if you meet a senior

487
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 1: leader or even your manager right, that you really build

488
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: a great rapport with your friends, your colleagues, figuring out

489
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: those boundaries right again, because again boundary setting is very

490
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: important here. But after that, continue to stay on their

491
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 1: radar once a quarter, maybe once every six months. I

492
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 1: love to send former managers if mind, just a quick

493
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: note just being like, Hey, still alive here, this is

494
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:30,399
Speaker 1: what I'm up to, still surviving and thriving sometimes, and

495
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,800
Speaker 1: it's nice because I think the fear is that people

496
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 1: don't want these friendships to feel transactional. But there's a

497
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,199
Speaker 1: way to navigate it in which you are still building

498
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 1: your network, which is going to be the social collateral

499
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 1: that you will have as you pivot and change into

500
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,160
Speaker 1: job after job after job, but it still can feel

501
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:54,719
Speaker 1: genuine and unique to you. So send people you know

502
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: a thank you note afterward. You know, wish people happy

503
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: birthday if you know it's their birthday day, or you know.

504
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,439
Speaker 1: Sometimes I will see on social media that someone is

505
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 1: celebrating an anniversary and I wish them a happy anniversary.

506
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 1: Little small things like that, right, Because again, showing yourself

507
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 1: to be kind and friendly and a team player is

508
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 1: going to take you a long way. And one of

509
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,360
Speaker 1: the things that I see sometimes is that you will

510
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 1: leave a job and you will leave all those friendships behind.

511
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 1: Now here's the thing. If you leave a job and

512
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 1: that person who you used to chat it up with

513
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 1: every single day y'all used to go about that was

514
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: your roll dog. You know, y'all was riding down the

515
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 1: hood together all this stuff. If all of a sudden

516
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 1: they never check for you ever again, now you know

517
00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: exactly where to place them in your life. But I

518
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: do also believe that in that same vein, you can

519
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 1: create real friendships with people who you keep up with.

520
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 1: The person who I told you was in my wedding,

521
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: she don't even work here no more. Like, So we

522
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:50,560
Speaker 1: have to actually take an intentional approach to creating that

523
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 1: friendship and keeping it up. But it all started in here,

524
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: it went down and LinkedIn and then it's just now

525
00:25:55,800 --> 00:26:01,480
Speaker 1: out in the streets. To take a short break, there's

526
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: still more talk about friendship and also would you take

527
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:20,640
Speaker 1: a pay cunt for your pet? I got thoughts that's next.

528
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 1: So hopefully after listening to today's episode, you are starting

529
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:30,400
Speaker 1: to ask yourself the questions about workplace friendships and how

530
00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: you want to go about it. For me, I think

531
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: one thing I'm taking away from this conversation is that,

532
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 1: however you want to shake this out, it's okay. You

533
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: can have all the friends in the workforce, or you

534
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 1: can have no friends and keep it, you know, just

535
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,679
Speaker 1: pushing p P asn't professional like. However you want to

536
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,560
Speaker 1: do this, it's up to you. And also I would

537
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: say that creating those boundaries is important. Ask yourself and

538
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 1: vet this question. Are you okay with someone knowing whatever

539
00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 1: information you're about to give them if they were not

540
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,719
Speaker 1: your friend? If the answer is H, actually would not

541
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 1: want somebody to know that, maybe that will also help

542
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: evaluate if that's information that you should exchange with someone else.

543
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 1: What about you, Giana.

544
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 2: Something I've learned is that how you prioritize workplace relationships

545
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 2: is just going to naturally shift throughout your career. But

546
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 2: one thing that will kind of always just hold true

547
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 2: is that you want allies and you want community at work,

548
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 2: even if you're not seeking those close friendships. So it

549
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 2: all comes down to like being friendly, showing up, and

550
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,640
Speaker 2: like caring about people, but respecting your own boundaries and

551
00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 2: being intentional about where and who you're spending your time

552
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 2: and energy with. So you just need to decide that

553
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 2: all for yourself, like you were saying, and you can

554
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 2: never go wrong with just showing up and being friendly.

555
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: I know that's right now talking about being friendly. Uh,

556
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 1: I got something for you, Gianna. Guess what I got?

557
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:53,080
Speaker 1: I got receipts you guys, re seats, But just a

558
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 1: nice little bit we like to do where we pull

559
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,199
Speaker 1: things up and we essentially discuss are there receipts to

560
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 1: back up or prove? Honestly, it's all also a good

561
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: way from John and I to learn about each other

562
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 1: a little bit more so. This week we are tackling

563
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: an interesting myth here.

564
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 2: We've got a headline this week from Fortune magazine. So

565
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 2: it appears that millennials and gen zers are willing to

566
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 2: take a pay cut so they can spend more time

567
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 2: with their pets. What, you're the dog owner here, so

568
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 2: I'll let you take it first. What do you think?

569
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 1: Let me get this straight. People want to take less

570
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: money so that they can spend more time at home

571
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: with their animals that don't pay bills. Yes, absolutely not?

572
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: What is what?

573
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 2: What?

574
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:41,000
Speaker 3: See?

575
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 2: You wouldn't?

576
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:49,160
Speaker 1: My dog had an ear infection last week. I had

577
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: to take time off work and take her eight hundred

578
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 1: dollars for them to give me droplets to put in

579
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: her ears.

580
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 2: Excuse me?

581
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: What? You want me to take less money? But you

582
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: expec like that?

583
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 2: Oh?

584
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 1: Absolutely no. That's why she's in commercials because you got

585
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 1: to pay some bills around here, baby girl, Like mommy

586
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: cannot do that.

587
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 2: You're so? She literally does pay the bills.

588
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: She does pay, but she pays for expensive prestige treats. Yes,

589
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 1: but not enough to be covering this. Absolutely not. What

590
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 1: are y'all do?

591
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 2: I mean?

592
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be that aggressive,

593
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: but like, no, and I love my pets so much.

594
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: I love my dogs. I love them, but we we

595
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: leave them money out on the table.

596
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not a pet owner, but I can't imagine

597
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 2: that I would take a pay cut for my you know,

598
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: unborn pet.

599
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 1: Why.

600
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 2: But the thing is, like, I posted about this on

601
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 2: LinkedIn because I'm like, whoa this is? I mean, I like,

602
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 2: I just wanted to know, like what are people saying

603
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 2: about this? And honestly, the results really pretty split. Some

604
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 2: members were literally like, yeah, my dog does not pay

605
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 2: my bills or my hamster does not pay my bills.

606
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna take a pay cut. But some people

607
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 2: were like, yeah, I've already done this. I've you know,

608
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 2: taken a pay cut to work remote so I have

609
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 2: or time at home with my pet. But across it all,

610
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 2: people were sharing picks of their pets, which I really appreciated.

611
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 1: That's the real gift of this, you know. I can

612
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: imagine if you have like a low overhead, right, Like,

613
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: if it doesn't require a lot of money for you

614
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 1: to live, right, maybe you live in a city that

615
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: is a little bit more affordable. Maybe your rent or

616
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:22,680
Speaker 1: your mortgage or whatever situation you're in, you can afford it, right,

617
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 1: maybe taking a slight pay decrease is feasible. I am

618
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 1: a high maintenance woman, like I require it's hard for

619
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 1: me to afford myself. Yeah, let alone. I feel that then,

620
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 1: you know, then let alone. Then adding in the extra

621
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 1: elements of taking care of dogs and living in New

622
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 1: York and then training and all that stuff. So I

623
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: also think that there is an opportunity here to say

624
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 1: that this is also a situational thing. Maybe some people

625
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: they can afford to do it, but other we gotta

626
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 1: go out here and make this money. Okay, and my

627
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: dogs too. I'm about to put the other two in

628
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 1: commercials too. Everybody got to pull their way working. I

629
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like Gypsy, like my mama Rose here,

630
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 1: I am taking my work. Make mama stop baby.

631
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess it does depend on how much of

632
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 2: a pay cut are we talking, So you guys, let

633
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,560
Speaker 2: us know would you take a pay cut for your pets.

634
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 2: We'll discuss it more in the newsletter this week, so

635
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 2: let us know they're in the comments and send us

636
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 2: photos of your pets. Yeah, please? Oh woof speaking because

637
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 2: this was.

638
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 1: A fun episode. Thank you guys so much for listening.

639
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying the community we're building here.

640
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 2: Me too, all right. I mentioned the newsletter earlier, and

641
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 2: make sure you're following it. If you're not already, you

642
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 2: can find the link in the show description, also in

643
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: the bio of my LinkedIn profile. It's called you Guessed It.

644
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 2: Let's talk offline. We go even deeper into the topics

645
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 2: we discuss on the pod with some exclusive content. And

646
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 2: this week we're gonna be talking about how to build

647
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:54,800
Speaker 2: a relationship with a mentor.

648
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 1: Ooh, very spicy. I'm gonna make sure I read that. Also,

649
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: we want to think Yiah for sending in that wonderful question.

650
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: We like Jarah, Be like Jarah. You guys, If you

651
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: guys have questions for us, make sure you send those in.

652
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 1: Information on how to do that is also in the

653
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: show description. Check the show description. Do not say I

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Speaker 1: don't know how to do some It is in the

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00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: show description. Child, okay, and also make sure you go

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Speaker 1: on and review and follow the podcast. You have been

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00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 1: hanging out with me and Gianna for a few weeks.

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Speaker 1: Now you like us. Let's make an official.

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Speaker 2: One last thing. Remember we have always got your back,

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Speaker 2: so if something comes up in the meantime, we'll talk offline.

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Speaker 2: I'm Giana Prdente.

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Speaker 1: And I'm Jamie Jackson Gadson, Stay thriving.

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Speaker 2: Let's Talk Offline is a production of LinkedIn News and

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Speaker 2: iHeart Podcasts. The show is produced by Western Sound. Our

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Speaker 2: producer is Sabrina Fang. The show is edited by Savannah Wright.

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Speaker 2: Our associate producer is Sarah Dilley. Alex mckinnis is our engineer,

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Speaker 2: and Ben Adair is the executive producer.

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Speaker 1: Executive producers at iHeart Podcasts are Katrina Noravel, Nikki Etour.

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Speaker 1: We got support from LinkedIn's Jesse Hemple, Sarah Storm and

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Speaker 1: Ayana Angel. Maya Pope Chappelle is director of Content, Dave

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Speaker 1: Pond is head of News Production, Courtney Coop is Head

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Speaker 1: of Original Programming, and Dan Roth is the editor in

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Speaker 1: chief of LinkedIn