WEBVTT - Ep1: Missing Condom 0:00:01.120 --> 0:00:06.320 Hi, Welcome to the podcast We Make Horrible Decisions. Wait 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:09.080 wait are we starting, bitch? Yeah, and now we're gonna 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:12.200 starting this whole thing here star started over, started, We're 0:00:12.200 --> 0:00:14.000 gonna start it over when we click edit on the 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:20.320 fucking iTunes thing because we're not paying for it, damn. Anyway, 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:24.320 I'm Wheezy Um and you guys know me as Mandy 0:00:24.640 --> 0:00:28.040 be Mandizzele, full Court Pumps, whatever you wanna call me, Okay, 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:31.400 and we make horrible decisions. I'm really excited to be here. 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.519 If I could think of anybody that does slutty your 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:38.600 things in me, it's definitely you. And he's just saying that, guys. 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:43.360 So this podcast is about sex and dating and all 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:45.319 the weird, disgusting ship we do with people we meet 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:47.599 on the internet. Mandy and I have known each other 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:50.120 for quite some time, not always the greatest of friends, 0:00:50.120 --> 0:00:52.360 but for some reason we always find our way back 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:54.280 to each other. And I think it's because the only 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:56.880 thing we have in common is the nasty things that 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.440 we do. Apparently that's what she says. However, when we 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:01.360 did meet, Um, I'll go ahead and give you guys 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:03.600 a little backdrop on that. We were both virgins. Well, 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:06.160 actually I think I was. I don't think she was. Um, 0:01:06.200 --> 0:01:10.520 we were about what fifteen, maybe fourteen fifteen? Send my 0:01:10.600 --> 0:01:13.880 mom to lay. Oh, I'm sorry anyways, Um, I'm not 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:16.679 sure how Yeah, we were out fifteen and sixteen. However 0:01:16.720 --> 0:01:19.880 old we were. Um, we actually fought in a teen 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:24.440 club on our boyfriend. I was dating him and that 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:27.959 was her ex. Um. However, we totally hated each other 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:32.000 through my Space and aim and everything else. And UM, 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:33.880 at that time, I was a bit ratchet and I 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:35.880 told her if we ever see each other, we weren't 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:41.240 going to have any words to the future. We ended 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:45.720 up um hanging out. Um somehow we vibed quite a 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:49.760 bit and became friends. And so that was ten years ago, 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:52.639 and here we are today, both living in New York City. 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:56.280 Um up here from Florida. Where to Florida girls? By 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.400 the way, So, I guess, do you want to tell 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:00.960 our viewers a little bit about you? Because I know 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:02.840 I'm popping. Everyone knows who the hell I am, but 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:04.560 maybe no one knows who you are. So go ahead 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:07.640 and tell people who you are. I wish you guys 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:11.519 could see the eye roll. Um. Anyway, Um, I'm wheezy, 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:14.799 I'm twenty five for another week. I'm black and Israeli. 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:19.079 I'm an account exact for a telecommunications company. And when 0:02:19.120 --> 0:02:22.000 I'm not doing corporate ship, I'm just on tender being 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:24.800 a little skank. Got all I have? Would you like 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:29.079 to tell your brief history? Brief? Okay, I'm gonna be brief. Um, Well, 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:32.160 for anyone who knows me, I've dip and dabbled in 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:36.120 a little bit of everything. UM. I started off. I 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:40.160 guess I can say modeling. That's kind of cliche. At 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.920 on a black man's magazine, I would go with that. Yes, Um, 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:45.280 I did magazines at one point, long long, very long 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:48.200 time ago. UM. And then what most people know before, 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:53.640 I ran a very um popping sports blog controversial. It 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:59.600 was pretty controversial, controversial, sir seal whatever. Um. And that 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:02.480 was core Pump dot Com did that for about four years, 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:05.360 did media with the Orlando Magic, did some sp stuff 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:09.200 and did some guys, a few of them, Um, are 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.400 one of them on that TV behind you. That's the 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:16.960 name of the sports. This is basketball. Um. And also 0:03:17.919 --> 0:03:20.520 I'm probably blocked by some of your favorite athletes for 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:24.400 some of the things I posted. UM, maybe because you look, no, 0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:27.040 not that reason, um, one of them. What we'll talk 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:30.720 about that later anyways. Um, and fast forward to today, 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:37.120 I am a twentysomething living in New York City, UM, 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:40.040 going full time to school, and currently working at an 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:42.960 investment bank. UM so I'm in the finance industry now 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:48.400 much of a difference from my normal life I've anyway, So, 0:03:48.560 --> 0:03:50.200 just to give you guys some background of what you're 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.800 gonna hear on this podcast, it's going to be kink 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:56.240 of the Week, our sex stories, the horrible decision that 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:58.640 we made, the lesson we learned, and of course some 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:02.280 vanilla ship our topic or something like that. UM. So 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:05.920 to start you guys off, I picked a kink because 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:11.839 I particularly like to watch it, and it's called Well, 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:13.520 I'm gonna read you the definition. Le's see if you 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:15.400 can guess. I feel like you're whole enough to know. 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:17.440 I say, I think you should say the word and 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:19.680 have people guess what the hell that is the type 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:23.600 of sexual activity in which several men ejaculate on another person. Oh, 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:28.200 it's several men. I thought it was one I want anyways. 0:04:28.200 --> 0:04:34.600 Oh okay, So anyways, what this word is is it boukaki? 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:38.000 And we'll go ahead, and I actually say when she said, hey, 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:40.560 I'm going to do bukaki this week, I thought it 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:44.840 had to deal with like men shitting. Oh my bad. 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:46.760 I didn't know that. So I was like, buukoki, who 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:48.520 the hell does that? Have you ever done? Have you 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:55.480 ever had bokaki? Several men coming on my face? No? Wait, wait, 0:04:56.120 --> 0:05:00.080 it is several more than two. Several to me to 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:01.679 be more than two. But I still haven't had to 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:04.160 come on, dude, I almost want to read the room. 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:07.000 What you're thinking about it, what you're thinking about it. 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:09.680 You're a fucking horror bro. No, no, no, no, no no, 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:11.920 I have actually no, I'll do the cume shot. But 0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:19.200 I've never known mukoki is an Asian word. I think, um, yeah, 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:20.400 I don't know. I don't know why I like to 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:22.280 watch it. I feel like, come shots to the best part. 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:24.800 So when there's like seventies five people in the room 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.160 and it's just in one seven minute video, I'm like, 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:30.400 this is amazing. You know, it's just a good thing 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:32.960 to watch. I really was going to say, you really know, 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.400 you actually did well. My mom asked to be on 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:37.159 the show after she heard what we were talking about. 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.479 So let's not even talk about that. My mom is 0:05:39.600 --> 0:05:44.039 clearly why I am the way. I don't know. Um, yeah, 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:45.839 I don't know. I like to watch it. I don't 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:48.480 know what it is. You know, I like the submissive thing, 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:50.920 so maybe that's what it is. So if you go 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:54.080 on porn hub dot com, if you type in is 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:59.600 there an actual section on clearly recently instantly visited on 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:03.640 my phone? Read bookhacky video like for sure? At least 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:07.080 it isn't in like like for sure I've seen the video. 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:09.600 Um anyway, I haven't had it happened to me. I 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:11.920 don't know if I'm ballsy enough for it. Will you 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:16.320 ever do book cocky? I don't. I don't know. There's 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:18.640 something about more than one man in the room that 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.240 makes me feel a little too slow, not in a 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:24.520 good way. It's it's ironic. But if you were interested, 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:27.600 um in watching this on porn hub, I just looked 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:31.120 it up. You can type in bookocki and following that 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:35.599 comes up Japanese boukacki, lesbian bookocki teen boukoki. I don't 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:38.080 know about lesbian bookaki is really bad. They all squired 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.440 on each other and I feel like it's pissed squirting 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:42.839 is not pissed. But we're going to say that for 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:46.960 another topic, because clearly a story about where this out 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:52.360 and then she had out of a different hole. Also 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:58.280 there's Boukaki compilation Bookoki gang Bang and Glory Hole BUUKACKI 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:02.000 all out the glory whole one because that one's not real. 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:04.040 They just get this like lotion and squirted out of 0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:05.800 the hole. And it's not the effect that I want 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:10.880 when I watch it. You want the real effect, huh. 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:13.640 I don't guess anyways, that is our kink of the week. 0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:21.520 If you guys are interested in boo cockyng could you? Okay? So, guys, 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:24.119 I I guess what We're gonna go into the horrible 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:26.200 decisions and this is gonna be pretty much the topic 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:28.800 of our conversation for the day. Um. I'd love to 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:30.400 know if it's ever happened to you, guys. You guys 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:32.520 are more than I really need to tell you the 0:07:32.560 --> 0:07:34.640 horrible decision I made last night when I went to yoga. 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:36.840 I just got to get this out, Okay, So get 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:41.760 into the pre um discussion of the week. I guess 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:46.240 she has something interesting horrible decisions to give you guys 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:47.880 some background and go to the gym like six times 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:50.160 a week only because I have nobody that wants to 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:52.120 fuck me right now, so there's nothing else to do. 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:54.280 And I have a lot of referral credits on class past, 0:07:54.360 --> 0:07:57.040 so I decide I've been lifting so much weights and 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:58.720 like spin classing. I'm like, you know what, I need 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.920 to get stretched out. That sounded that made me think 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:04.640 about sex. So I wanted to do yoga, and I 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.760 found an aerial class, which is when you're like suspended 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:10.240 in the air on this like cloth curtain thing. They 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:13.400 did it on Real Housewives of Atlanta. I don't want 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:16.040 that show. Well it's good, you should. I decided on 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.040 my own that I was gone with. While she wears 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:21.440 a Black Lives Matter T shirt, I think Real Housewives 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:23.720 of Atlanta mats because I don't have cables. So anyway, 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:27.320 I get to the studio and Chelsea right and I 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:30.360 see like a group of like maybe eleven I'm gonna 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:32.559 go with eleven white girls coming out. Two were holding 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:36.160 a Starbucks frappuccino. It was thirty degrees and they're just 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:38.080 like laughing and giggling. I'm like, holy sh it, this 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:40.920 is the yoga studio. So I get up to the 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:43.520 eighth floor and it literally is a room filled of 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:46.160 like white Ikea cabinets and candles. And that's what I 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:49.560 knew I needed to get the funk out. So I 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:55.319 go to the reception desk and she's like, I'm like, um, 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:59.920 I'm here for the seven o'clock of course. So anyway, 0:09:00.000 --> 0:09:01.720 I'm already not feeling it and I'm just a little 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:03.440 bit too cynical. Does it's just me? He was just 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.439 happy ship make you feel uncomfortable? Um no, because I'm 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:08.560 a happy fucking person. Okay, Well, anyway, I was really 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:10.480 uncomfortable with all the smiles and the candles. It felt 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.120 like a fucking seance, dude. So I walk into the 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:15.400 room that I'm going in the beginner's aerial class, and 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:17.719 I just want to say that I don't mean this disrespectfully, 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:20.800 but I'm the smallest person in the room. Everybody was 0:09:20.840 --> 0:09:24.120 just on the thicker side. And then I realized her side, 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.679 mind you, I'm over here. Clearly I'm the thick friend 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:31.280 and she's a little you know boo. Anyway here, I 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.839 mean how skinny I was in comparison everyone else. I'm like, 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:36.320 I gotta last the whole time, bro, because those big girls, 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:38.920 you know, apparently she thinks she could outlast everybody. But 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:41.800 so I get my ass on this curtain and just 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:44.240 a little background, I've got vertigo, and immediately I sit 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:46.160 it down and I'm like, I think I'm on a boat, 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:50.280 and I'm like, shit, it's forty five minutes left. Excuse me, 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:53.760 seventy five minutes. I didn't even what is seventy five minutes. 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:57.520 I couldn't even figure out minutes seventy five minutes of 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:00.560 being on a curtain. So I start, I lay back. 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:02.520 She's like, oh, we're going to do a basic move. 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:06.480 Basic where you fall back and like hold and like 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:09.120 restrain yourself and kind of just do I'm scared. I 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:10.800 don't think I could do it. Bro It gave me. 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:14.360 I had a good two seconds. Okay, everybody's flipped over. 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:18.679 I'm not there yet. She's like, next thing, you know, 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.800 I fucking bust my ass. All the big girls turn around, 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.040 like do you need help, bitch? I can get myself 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:27.920 off the floor. So now I'm embarrassed as hell, and 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:29.600 I'm like, you know what, I'm fun this ship up. 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.360 So comes on to the next move and the last 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.480 one that I had. It was called the Spider Man, 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:36.199 and that's when I knew it got a little too 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:39.760 acrobatic for me. I'll get on this damn curtain and 0:10:39.800 --> 0:10:42.360 she's like, take your legs, flip them up. What the 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:44.720 hell is flipping your legs up? And go upside down? 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:48.319 I'm upside down. All the blood is rushing into my face. Here. 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:51.840 I'm gonna give it about eight to ten seconds where 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:57.400 I just felt the Indian food lunch coming up towards 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.920 my chest and I'm like god, no, God, no, no, 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:01.679 oh no. And I didn't have enough strength to flip 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:04.800 myself out because you're upside down, and I fucking threw 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:10.120 up yours. I mean literally upside down. It's like going 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:13.719 passing my nose. Everybody's turning around is so fucking embarrassing. 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:16.000 And then the only thing that the instructor says to 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:20.480 me is don't worry, Honnie, it's natural. Now I'm so 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:22.720 freaking embarrassed that I want to have an excuse for 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.199 this ship, so I just tell everybody I'm pregnant. Now 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:27.320 half the room knows that I'm lying, and the other 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.160 half is like, why the funk are you here? And 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.360 I'm like, oh, I just thought yoga was good for 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:35.280 you know, the maternal Um. Okay, I gotta go. Anyway, 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:37.199 that was a horrible decision I made, by the way, 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:40.120 real quick, guys, I want you guys to take reference 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:43.080 and heed to that story because she is probably the 0:11:43.080 --> 0:11:46.320 biggest compulsive liar that I know. So you should hear 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:49.600 like how she told everyone I'm pregnant. God, she'll be 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:51.280 the one where on the phone. Oh my god, Oh 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:53.920 my god, I gotta go. This guy's falling, Like what 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:59.719 bro an excuse to leave? She's so extra like her 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:04.720 eyes are are really really really good. Okay, anyways, okay, 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:08.480 so we're gonna go to UM a horrible decision that 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:10.360 I had last week, and it really wasn't my decision. 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.560 I didn't decide to allow this to happen, but it did. Um. 0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:18.320 So before I guess what this episode is called is 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.079 the missing condom? Um, it's not because we couldn't find 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:27.000 it in our purse. So I um, so I was 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:28.760 with one of my I don't want to say one 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:30.920 of my partners. That's weird. Well, clearly I'm single, so 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:36.200 I'm not only um having intercourse with shut up did 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:39.600 not meet. This is not someone from Tinder by the way, 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:45.520 from Instagram, um and so UM. I decided to hang 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:48.640 out with him last week. UM. We had a great time. 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:52.559 He's a great conversationalist, which I really like. Anyways, UM, 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:57.200 fast forward after or I guess, yeah, in the middle 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:01.679 of us having sex. Um, he just sides, he comes okay, cool, 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:06.000 he pulls out in the condom is not there, so listen, no, 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:08.880 none of that. So I'm totally like, what do you 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:10.679 mean the condoms not on your dick? Mind you. I'm 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:12.880 one of those people who are like, in the middle 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:14.640 of the fucking I normally feel back there to make 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:17.760 sure it's there. So he's like, I mean, it felt wet, 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:19.360 but I thought you were just getting wetter, like it 0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:22.080 was just feeling good. Blah blah blah blah. And I'm like, okay, 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:24.400 mind you, this is the first time this ever happened 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:26.559 to him. This isn't the first time it's happened to me. 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:28.080 I guess my pussy is tight. I don't know what 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:31.320 to say because the condom definitely fits dick, so that's 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:33.920 normally the problem. Okay, So when a condom normally comes 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:37.040 off a dick, it's normally you assume that wasn't his saz, 0:13:37.800 --> 0:13:41.160 but it actually it fit. It wasn't a gold rapper, 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:45.040 which thank god, because gold rappers actually stink. I know 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:47.840 girls like for guys to pull out gold rappers, they 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:52.120 absolutely stink. They make the taste after like the well, 0:13:52.160 --> 0:13:55.200 I definitely know the smell because I prefer condoms at 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:57.080 all times, and I'm one of those that after a 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:58.840 guy comes in one, I'll still go to suck them 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:02.640 and it just takes the duck taste weird action that. 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:07.800 Um yeah what so anyways, that's so horrible. So let 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:11.040 me tell you. So at this point, we're just looking 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:13.800 at each other because I'm like, we're looking on the bed. 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:18.680 We're like, where is um? And so mind you didn't 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.640 know that it was in you because where else would 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.120 it be. It wasn't on the bed, it wasn't on 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:26.360 his dick. Oh I'm a fucking hole. Okay, I guess 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.560 it's in there. So mind you, we're not even that close. 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.680 This like, this is definitely the first is the first 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:34.960 time me and him had sex. So I'm just like, 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:37.880 oh great, this is this is awesome. Um. So we're 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:39.960 literally talking and I'm like, okay, well we should probably 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:43.440 get that out. So mind you, this is your first 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:46.640 to get it. I did. So my my legs are 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:49.840 open like I'm having a baby, and he's pretty much 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:52.160 with two or three fingers in there to feel good 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:54.960 while wasting. What was happening. No, you could tell he 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:57.520 was looking for something, and I was just like, he 0:14:57.680 --> 0:14:59.280 was like, well, I don't know what I'm feeling around. 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:01.080 Clearly he had haven't done that before. I guess he 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:04.040 didn't know what the inside of sticking your fingers like 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:06.400 really high up in there. I don't know what the 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.720 funk it is. It's really like American pie. When he 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.400 starts his stick in it, it feels just like there's 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:13.480 like something else. Well, no, so I'm not gonna So 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.440 he's six three, So we put our hands together because 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:17.640 I was like, hey, I have nails, put my hand 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:20.720 up next to his. He definitely had length on me. 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.040 So I was like, okay, you should be able to 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:25.400 get it. If anything, um And so I was like, well, 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:28.160 when did you know it was gone? Like because you 0:15:28.200 --> 0:15:29.840 were pumping kind of hard. Maybe you pushed it kind 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:32.280 of high up in there, so he's feeling I was like, okay, 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:34.320 let me fill up in there. Clearly I didn't know 0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:36.880 what I was feeling. Um, I was like, oh these 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:40.000 are when you found out you couldn't find it, when 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:41.720 I found out I couldn't find it. We just kind 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:44.680 of laid there, talked again, and then I was like, well, 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:46.800 does your get get does your dick get back hard? 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:49.000 I mean, I'm kind of curious if I can get 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.239 it back up, I'd like to go again. I can'tfully 0:15:51.680 --> 0:15:54.440 sucked again with a condom stuck in your pussy. Bro. 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:56.880 I figured if it wasn't coming out, it wasn't coming out, 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:59.360 So I wasn't done. I didn't come yet. So I 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:02.080 was just like, okay, oh my god, this is We're 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:03.840 gonna get you backed up. And then I was just 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:07.400 like suck it. Like at this point, comforting your clip. 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.320 I didn't think of that. I hadn't gotten penetration, didn't 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:14.920 think of it, didn't I mean, I hadn't gotten penetration 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:18.040 in a while, and I that's what I wanted. Nine 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:24.120 days off at least two weeks. I would say I 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:27.000 haven't had penetration in a long time. It's been two 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:31.680 weeks since I've been fucked. Well, what is the longside girl, Dude, 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.840 I didn't have sex for three months. Don't let me 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.240 months and that was hell. I didn't had a problem. 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.960 I game. Wait. My mom wouldn't even answer the phone anymore. 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:43.960 She's like, I can'ly went like like if anyone knows me, 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:46.240 I was Misserbing. I lived in Singapore for six months. 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:48.400 For the people who don't know, try living in an 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:52.360 Asian country. There was all of playing basketball and oh 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.480 my god, and they were so lame. I met them 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:56.680 all clearly, and my friends ended up sucking them. But 0:16:57.120 --> 0:17:00.960 I was not interested in them, Like I gave it up. Dude, 0:17:00.960 --> 0:17:02.320 I would have taken a little bit. You know. I 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:05.399 ended up actually meeting a director at ted Marriage. Right. 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:10.800 Of course, you know what, before we tell you how 0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.320 Amanda got the condoval, I'm going to have to uh, 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:15.800 we're gonna have to hold that. Well yeah, well this 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:18.159 is this is this is to make this more of 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:22.080 like a group setting. Um, I guess I should. You've 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:25.399 had a condom stuck in you before, right, multiple times? 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:28.040 I'm sure, so the most recent time was literally within 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:30.240 the last few months. Um. So it's a guy that 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:34.720 I sleep with fairly regularly. We go to this nice restaurant. 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:37.600 We're having this amazing night. Now, let me just say 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:39.480 the restaurant was super close to his house, so it 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:42.119 was like immediately after we had dinner, we were ready 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:44.920 to go have sex. So we have this five course meal. 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:47.040 I'm only telling you that because it will definitely be 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:49.640 relative in a few seconds. So we have this five 0:17:49.640 --> 0:17:53.320 course meal. It's amazing. We go one block into his apartment. 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.359 He lays me down, like throws me on the couch, 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:58.600 and he's kind of already awkward, and he's really not 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.720 dombing me up like I want too, but whatever. So 0:18:02.720 --> 0:18:05.919 he looks at me and he's like, you know, I 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:08.719 want you to go in the shower. I'm like, okay, 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:15.680 because I really want to lick your asshole. So I'm 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:17.879 trying not to laugh, and I'm just like, okay, this 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:21.040 is gonna happen. Taking taking a quick shower, I jump 0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:25.120 in there, um come out. And I guess he had 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:28.160 just finished watching fifty Shades of Gray, because this mother 0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:30.879 quest did nothing for me. That movie was kind of 0:18:32.359 --> 0:18:34.560 maybe because I don't watch white porn. I don't know 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:36.520 that could be it. I don't know. Well, he comes 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:39.280 in the shower in the bathroom with a blindfold. I 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:42.719 don't think I'm still soaking wet. Okay, He's like, I'm 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:44.320 gonna put this on you and then you can go 0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:46.639 to the bedroom. I'm like, how am I going to 0:18:46.720 --> 0:18:48.840 find it? Bro, I'm not I'm not in my house, 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:52.320 so you're better than me. I actually real quick, I 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:55.800 will not let a guy blindfold me ever. Again, Why 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:57.320 did he actually only put it in your ass? No, 0:18:57.640 --> 0:19:01.119 he accidentally quote unquote decided just not to put on 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:03.919 a condom. And I'm very kind of okay, are you 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:07.120 kidding me? Oh? I about how to I was like, yeah, 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:08.720 I'm not gonna do well, you can feel for it 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:12.040 after that, and if that's what, well, I'm really into it. 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:14.199 So like I was totally going with the blindfold thing. 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:16.520 He leads me to the bedroom and he tells me 0:19:16.600 --> 0:19:19.600 to get on my knees. Um, I get on my knees. 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:23.640 And here's where the five course meal comes into play. 0:19:24.119 --> 0:19:26.960 He decides that he wants to deep throat and throat 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:31.840 fuck me. And you know, normally when this happens, like 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:34.239 you know, you're out drink, like you know, you're kind 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:36.080 of waiting maybe an hour or two before you have 0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:39.880 this rough ass sex. No, I just had s car 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:45.520 got and that's s car go okay for you guys, magnant. 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:49.239 I was full. I just I feel like I have 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:50.840 to take my finger and do it because it just 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:53.639 you can't. Can you not stick your finger down your 0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:57.760 throat the second dick goes in. It's just not even 0:19:57.800 --> 0:20:02.000 like a hot gag. Right, So house laughing all over 0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:04.760 my ship and I'm like, dude, it's not working. He's like, no, 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:07.440 I know it works. I know it works. I'm like, bro, 0:20:07.720 --> 0:20:09.680 I had to lift the blindfold up and looked down 0:20:09.680 --> 0:20:12.640 when the fucker and I say, it's not cutting it. 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:15.240 So fine, we skipped to it. We get on the bed, 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:17.560 we started having sex, or we were about to start 0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:19.440 having sex, excuse me. And he realized I didn't have 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:21.399 a condom. I was like, oh, I think I have 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:23.359 one in my bag. Now. Of course she has one 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:25.719 in her back, because why would I make a horrible 0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:27.639 decision and not bring a condom. I mean, my condoms 0:20:27.640 --> 0:20:29.640