WEBVTT - "We Have Never Had a Fight” 0:00:03.000 --> 0:00:05.520 Hey, the folks. In this episode a couple that has 0:00:05.600 --> 0:00:10.640 been married ten years but claims they have never ever fought, 0:00:11.000 --> 0:00:14.720 not once. Also, have you heard of this new concept 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:20.160 a partners as people who voluntarily live apart from their 0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:24.040 significant other? And how much of an age gap is 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:27.280 too great of an age gap when it comes to dating. 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:31.480 Those are just a few of the relationship related headlines 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:33.960 that had us and everybody else talking the past week. 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:36.800 Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ Rowl. Let's 0:00:36.840 --> 0:00:39.320 start with that, ca can you is there a blanket 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:42.840 just there is an age gap that you just shouldn't 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:46.280 be dating. Is there a general rule or should we 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:48.479 all just it should go out the window and you 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:49.080 just do your thing. 0:00:49.440 --> 0:00:52.160 You know, I at this stage in my life am 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:55.760 not here to tell anybody else what they should or 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:58.520 shouldn't do. I think, you know, what, if your soul 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:00.760 falls in love with another person's soul, good for you. 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:05.200 But I do think that it's significantly more challenging to 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:08.920 have somebody who has a big age gap. But I think, look, 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:13.240 you have met people who are older who who read younger. 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:16.040 They just have different energy, And then you have younger 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:18.560 folks who have older energy. So I do think sometimes 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:20.920 you can. The age is just a number, and it's 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:23.880 more about how you live your life, how you operate, 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:27.319 and the activity level you're willing to. 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:30.479 So forty nine year age gap can work. 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.640 I wouldn't want to tell somebody it couldn't, but it 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:35.400 wouldn't be for me. 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.360 Okay, say what you say? Where we're going here? Bill 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:41.600 Belichick Hall of Fame coach, Championship winning coach for the 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:44.039 Super Bowl winning coach New England Patriots. He's now the 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:46.520 head coach at North Carolina, but he's been in the 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:49.000 headlines a lot because, yes, he is dating a woman 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.400 that is forty nine years his junior. 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:55.040 Yes, Bill Belichick is seventy three years old. His girlfriend, 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:58.280 Jordan Hudson, is twenty four years old. So that is 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:01.600 a forty nine your age gap. 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:03.600 Should we start with? So what do you think if 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:05.800 you're happy, knock yourself out, if you're not hurting anybody 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:09.040 else and not hurting your self, who is anybody to 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:10.040 say what's going on? 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:13.000 I would be on that side of things. Yes, However, 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:16.240 I think that everybody has to make that decision for themselves. 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.200 I just think it's so easy to stand in judgment 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:21.760 of other people. Yes, when if they're happy, why do 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:24.800 you care? Like really white And maybe if you're Bill 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:28.200 Belichick's kids, you might care. You've got a personal reasons 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:31.359 and you're invested in something other than what he's choosing, 0:02:31.360 --> 0:02:33.720 and you've got to reason like fine than have your opinion. 0:02:33.720 --> 0:02:35.800 But the rest of us, I just think we should 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:36.200 shut up. 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:39.079 Okay, But some were saying, excuse me, I shouldn't say no, 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.399 I'm not saying. Some were saying, it's been talking about 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:42.720 a lot here late, that he's been on some red 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:44.560 carpets with her, and he's been out and been out there. 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:46.680 He's not necessarily hiding and being shy about it. But 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:50.400 he did an interview recently with CBS News and the 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.840 interview was on tape. I didn't realize it wasn't live, 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:56.640 so it was on tape. It was recorded. Apparently his 0:02:56.720 --> 0:02:58.840 girlfriend was sitting off to the side. This was a 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:02.640 one on one between Bill Belichick and the interviewer at CBS, 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:06.640 and he was asked a question about his relationship and right. 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:10.680 So the question was they were asking how the two met, 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:14.680 because there are unsubstantiated reports that they met on a 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:18.000 plane back in twenty twenty one. Who knows whatever, But 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:21.760 the question was asked, how did you meet? And Jordan 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.440 jumped in. She didn't have a microphone, but from off 0:03:24.480 --> 0:03:27.040 to the side she said, we are not talking about this, 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.359 and the interview said no, and she went no and 0:03:30.440 --> 0:03:33.560 shut it down. Now you and I have both had 0:03:33.639 --> 0:03:36.880 I could point to a very big interview where I 0:03:36.960 --> 0:03:40.520 actually had something very similar happen where the wife got 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:42.720 upset at the question I was asking her husband and 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:45.640 these were famous folks. She jumped up, yelled at me 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:48.280 and walked out of the room. We made the decision 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:51.839 not to put that in the piece because it wasn't 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:55.600 a part of the interview, and CBS News this actually 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:57.960 CBS Sunday Morning made the choice to leave it in, 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:03.000 which then created a lot of reaction from folks to. 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:06.040 What do you do there? I will take that first. 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:08.440 I didn't know what else they had on tape. I 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.960 don't know it for all. It kind have been a 0:04:11.000 --> 0:04:13.360 boring interview and they're like, well, this will spice it 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:15.840 up a little bit. Who knows what the decision making was. 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:17.760 Is it a part of this? So he was there 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:20.280 to talk about a book something else. 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:21.919 He's got a new book, The Art of Winning, and 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:23.919 that's why he was sitting down with CBS Sunday Morning 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:25.520 to talk about that and the lessons he learned from 0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:25.960 his father. 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:28.120 But what do you do there as a journalist? It 0:04:28.160 --> 0:04:30.520 had nothing to do necessarily with the interview, but it 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.720 became a part of the interview. I have a question 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:37.600 for this my interview, E I have a question, and 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.760 the answer to that question came from somebody who wasn't 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:43.240 being interviewed. Now, Bill Belichick would have said, you know what, 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:46.720 I'm gonna skip that disrespectfully, I might have left that 0:04:46.760 --> 0:04:48.719 response out. He would just say, you know what, I 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.800 want to skip pass on that and moved on. But 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:55.880 to have that type of interruption, now she becomes the story. 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:58.839 Why wasn't that talked about ahead of time? What questions 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:01.159 are we going to ask? Is it a rule violated? 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.799 Who knows? I don't know that backstory, But it's hard 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:08.080 when she became a part of the interview voluntarily. 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:12.240 Yeah, I think that's a decision made on a case 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:16.520 by case basis and in the spirit of the interview. 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.760 And if they felt like, for whatever reason, that was 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:21.919 an important part of the interview, and they wanted to 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.880 include it. Certainly. Of course they knew that that was 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:28.440 going to make that we're only talking about that interview 0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:32.800 because of their decision to leave that part of what 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.440 happened off camera. It was on camera, but off to 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:37.599 the side of the camera. They chose to leave it 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:39.200 in and that is why we're talking about it. 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:40.680 Could have been uh, I mean, I could have been 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:42.279 a part of the strategy. People are going to be 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:43.720 talking about it. People don't to be buzzing this so 0:05:43.800 --> 0:05:46.440 go viral maybe, But yeah, it was a taped piece. 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:49.920 They had every opportunity do not include that at all, 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:51.920 and they chose to do so. But he's not the 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:56.560 only one. Look we look at and talk U seventy 0:05:56.560 --> 0:06:00.920 three and twenty four. Yes, yes she was. They've known 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:02.480 each other for several years now. I think they've been 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:04.920 dating for a couple of years, so she was younger. 0:06:05.920 --> 0:06:09.160 This idea, now that it's come up in a much 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:13.080 more is much different. Let's make sure we're clear much different. 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:18.400 But also this underlying story of men, older men dating 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:20.719 women that are so much younger, and I'm talking about 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:23.360 the Shannon Sharp story. Now there's a fifty million dollar 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:27.560 lawsuit about sexual assault that's involved. However, there's been criticism 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:31.000 plenty from a lot of big names. Charlemagne and then 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:34.920 this clip from the comedian Monique came up in which 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:38.320 she was telling Shannon, being comedic, but stop messing around 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:39.360 with these young girls. 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.839 Okay, yeah, get you an older woman who will make 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.280 you some food and take care of you and rub 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:46.080 your feet when you come home. That's what she said 0:06:46.120 --> 0:06:48.680 to him. It was quite funny, she warned him. She said, 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:51.880 stop pulling around with all these young girls. It's gonna 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:52.840 come back and bite you. 0:06:52.920 --> 0:06:55.680 Now. In Shannon's situation, he was fifty four and she 0:06:55.800 --> 0:06:59.640 was nineteen when they first met. That again, that's what 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:01.280 I'm I guess, hard to do the math S's that 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:04.120 thirty five thirty six year didn't have the math? 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:07.320 Right? Look, yes that's thirty five. I think here's yes 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:09.720 at that point. But you know, here's the deal. Once 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:15.240 once you're over the age of eighteen, it is perfectly legal. 0:07:15.560 --> 0:07:17.960 And you know, I have a nineteen year old daughter, 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:20.720 I have a twenty two year old daughter. What I 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:23.560 want them dating men that old? No, I would not 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:26.280 because I would just be concerned there was the possibility 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:28.800 from manipulation and just when you're that young, you don't 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:30.360 know what you don't know. That's what I always am 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.840 telling my daughters, And so you just have to wonder, 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:35.600 you know, there is concern there. As a mom, I'm 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:37.600 concerned when I see this just for those young women, 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:40.160 not that they're not fully legal and capable of making 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:44.600 their own decisions, but are they actually emotionally and intellectually 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:47.520 and experiment like, do they have the experience to make 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:49.560 those decisions. That's where you would hope their parents would 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.600 step in, And I really think that's a role for 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:55.040 their family to maybe just make sure they're there and 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:59.760 watching and witnessing and trying to guide their loved ones. 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.520 But at the end of the day, technically. 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.440 There's nothing wrong with There's nothing wrong with what anybody's doing. 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.520 And I'm sure stepping out they know they're going to 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:09.120 be ridiculed, they're going to be talked about, they're going 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:11.440 to be buzzed about, they're going to be trending at times. 0:08:11.440 --> 0:08:14.840 On some days, it's just those are two back to 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:16.960 back stories where I look, I've been around, and we've 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:19.239 been around plenty. We know people who are dating folks 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:22.520 who are have big age gaps. I mean ten years, 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:26.040 twenty years, fine, when you talk about fifty and thirty 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:28.560 five and that's you don't see that a lot. 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:31.360 I also think that it's important that when that when 0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:33.880 those age gaps happen later in life, it really doesn't 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:36.120 feel like a big deal. It's only when the women 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:39.840 are so young, like you're talking about early twenties, teens, 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.400 early twenties, that's tough. You know, as a woman, I 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.680 can go back and look, I got married, I got 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:46.400 engaged and then married at twenty three, but it was 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:48.120 to someone at my same age. I still didn't have 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:50.520 any business getting married at that age. I didn't know 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:53.080 who I was. I didn't know what the world was 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.199 really all about. And I think, you know, especially young 0:08:56.240 --> 0:09:00.400 women might think that they know, but I'm concer when 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:02.640 it's that age. If you've got some woman in her 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:05.319 thirties dating someone in her in his fifties or sixties, 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:06.760 that's fine, she's lived enough. 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:09.000 Like that's what it is. Yeah, Okay, that's what it is. 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:11.240 That's what it is. Okay. That's the key to all 0:09:11.280 --> 0:09:13.160 of this, because if I was talking about a forty 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:16.680 year old woman dating a seventy year old man, Okay, Wow, 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:18.760 they make it work. But you're not looking at her 0:09:18.840 --> 0:09:21.120 as being in some way manipulated. 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:23.000 And I think that's the concern. Is there any sort 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.800 of manipulation or just a not even an intentional one. 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:27.400 But it just seems like that would have to be 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:30.720 the case because there's just such a big learning gap 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:31.280 of life. 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.480 Let's make sure we are not suggesting Belichick or Charlotte, 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.360 we're just making sure we just say that once again, yes, 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.400 that's not the suggestion at all. But part of the 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:41.920 age gap goes into the next story that was making headlines, 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:44.400 having to do it with people marry couples in some 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:50.120 instances not living together, voluntarily living sometime in the same 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:52.720 town and not far, not cross country all the time, 0:09:52.880 --> 0:10:04.840 but choosing to live in two different homes. And some 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:06.680 of them say they do it because to your point, 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:11.000 there's such an age gap sometimes that you live differently. 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:13.520 Exactly like some people like to go out and party 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:15.600 at night and some people like to sleep in and 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:18.080 it just makes sense for them. There's actually a term 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:22.320 now that they've coined. Correct. It's called a part a partners. 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:24.080 Eight partners, so partners with an A in front of it. 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:25.880 So essentially apart. Nurse. 0:10:26.080 --> 0:10:31.120 Yeah, they are apart, but they are partners, so uh, partners, yes. 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:34.200 And look, we've had several people come out and talk 0:10:34.240 --> 0:10:38.400 about this. Sarah Paulson, who is fifty, I believe in 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:42.000 her partner, Holland Taylor is eighty two, and she said, 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:44.120 you know, she was just talking about this, saying, look, 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:46.959 when we're together, we're we like to sleep next to 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:49.280 each other, we like to fall asleep holding each other's hands. 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:52.240 But Sarah said, I've had a couple serious relationships. Holland 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:55.120 never has, and so for me to constantly be in 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:57.720 her space, it would probably tear us apart. So we 0:10:57.800 --> 0:11:01.080 need two separate homes because she's used to living a 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.679 certain way. She's set in her ways to an extent. 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:06.200 She's eighty two years old, and she doesn't need me 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:09.840 coming in messing everything up. So that works for us. 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:13.320 Surelee Ralph, we love her, of course, but she lives 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.600 cross country from her husband. That it works. I think 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:18.160 he's in Philly. She's in La Yeah, cross and she's smile. 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:19.880 We've talked to her about it personally. She beams a 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.920 big old smile talking about it. Yes, it's been they've 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:24.200 been doing it for years. It works. 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:26.600 They get they love their alone time. And I think 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:28.920 if you have two people who say, hey, I need 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.120 I don't just love, I need my alone time and 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:35.040 it works for them, you know what, it's interesting and 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.480 some people question whether or not it's real, if they're 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:42.000 actually monogamous or serious, but by all accounts, it works 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.720 and it's successful. Another one Gwinneth Healthrow and her husband 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:48.360 Brad Falschuk. They actually live in the same city, but 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:51.280 they have two different houses. And I think When's kids 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:52.960 are the same age as mine, so it's not like 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:55.360 she's got young kids. I would understand that maybe if 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.840 you don't want to necessarily have a new man in 0:11:57.880 --> 0:12:01.000 their lives. But now her kids are grown, and she 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:02.600 just said, this works for. 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:04.880 Us, And that's the bottom line. If it works where you, 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:08.320 it works for you. There are some people, and I 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:10.720 mean a lot of people can relate to being with 0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:14.640 someone or being in a relationship that is not great 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:18.520 for your sleeping habits because that other person comes to 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.160 bed late, likes it hot, likes it cold, wants the 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:25.160 TV on has different We have this issue I shouldn't 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:28.199 say issue. Yeah, it's an issue that I have I'm 0:12:28.240 --> 0:12:30.200 set in my ways when it comes to sleep. I 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.960 struggle even sleeping when I don't have the TV on 0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:36.000 a certain amount of noise that is not your jam. 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:39.920 Yeah, you sleep with a TV on. Yes, you like 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:43.560 to lay not vertically on the bed like most people, 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:45.720 but completely across it like horizontally. 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.000 It has to do with the TV, yep, because. 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:50.800 You're wanting to watch the TV. You like it warm. 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:52.840 You you like the heat on he being. 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:56.120 You don't like a cold room. So I always laugh, 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:58.880 you know, because you have some sleep issues, and we 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:01.520 all do, but you I've talked about them for over 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:05.480 the years. But any sleep expert will tell you should 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:09.640 have your room dark, cold and quiet. You like your 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:15.040 sleeping environment loud, and I'm talking like gunfire, like loud, bright, 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:19.600 because the TV is bright and warm. 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:21.720 Okay, that was our compromise. I don't put on action 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:22.679 movies anymore. 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:25.600 And you turn down the brightness on the television. 0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:26.760 You're welcome to help me. 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:30.960 You are welcome, and I yes, And I've compromised on 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:31.360 the heat. 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:35.560 So in that situation, will we be better off sleeping separately? 0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:38.080 Sleeping in separate places. 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:38.079 I don't like. 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:41.560 But some people say yes, it's better for your health 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:43.880 than even your mental health sometimes to be a part. 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:46.160 I love being with this person, I love spending time 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.880 with this person, but being in bed together night doesn't work. 0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:52.560 I'm not there yet. But look, Cameron Diaz just talked 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:55.480 about this with her husband. They have separate bedrooms, and people, 0:13:55.640 --> 0:13:58.439 you know, people are like what she's like. It works 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:00.520 for us. I mean a lot of times people have 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:03.600 snoring issues. Separate bedrooms, they have separate bedroom, they live 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:04.160 in the same house. 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.079 You can't just go to the couch like the rest 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:06.400 of us. 0:14:07.600 --> 0:14:09.680 Kind of feels like, didn't they do that in the 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.440 olden days? Were like retire to your own bedroom and 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:14.960 the husbands would say, can I come visit you? But yeah, 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:16.600 everyone had You know, I know a lot of people 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:18.720 who really believe in separate bathrooms. And if you're lucky 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:21.800 enough to have a enough for that, I'll support that. 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:24.280 I feel like that's a good thing too. 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:27.560 Yes, I need want to cut my hair in. 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:30.760 Yes I know, Okay, I'm very aware of that. I 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:31.920 was actually going to suggest that. 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:38.240 Okay, the other excuse me, the other story I had 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.960 everybody talking was one that really if you've been in 0:14:42.000 --> 0:14:44.880 a relationship longer than what six months or a year. 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:47.720 You'll find this very difficult to believe. A couple that's 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:51.360 been married more than a decade now says not once 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:55.280 in their relationship have they fought? Not one time? Not once? 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:58.120 Do you buy that? How is that possible? 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:01.520 I don't know how it's possible. Okay, you know I've lived, 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:06.360 I've had several relationships and never once has that ever 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:11.240 been true. And I would say, ah, I mean, if 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:14.360 you most I mean I've also had a lot of therapy, 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:19.200 most therapists would say that it's that isn't possible. That 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:23.440 you're just pushing it down and then you're growing apart 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.160 because you just refused. You if you're not willing to 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:29.560 talk about someone always has to do something that annoys 0:15:29.600 --> 0:15:31.720 you or upsets you or isn't what you would have 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:35.240 preferred or you disagree with, especially when you're raising children. 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:37.880 And so to think that there's never been a conflict, 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:41.040 there's never been. And I don't know if they're saying, well, 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:44.000 fighting is one thing and disagreeing is another. But it 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:46.840 just it's hard for me to imagine that you can't 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:50.200 get annoyed or pissed or angry at somebody who you love. 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:53.720 Okay, and the couple we're talking about is not just 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:58.080 any old random couple talking about George and Maul Clooney. 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.160 They have talked about this now for years, but he 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.040 was talking about it recently and an interview, you know, 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.560 it was CBS News. Again. They just keep doing stuff 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:09.720 over there. He said that they have never once, not 0:16:09.800 --> 0:16:13.840 about the trash, not about anything minor, certainly nothing major. 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:17.560 Never once. She said, they've gotten to a point that 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:19.440 there's a family member of her I think a cousin 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:21.480 that every time she runs into it's the first thing 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:23.800 out of his mouth. You guys thought yet, like it's 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:25.760 a thing that everybody know. I just don't know how 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:27.880 it's possible. And you talk about therapy, don't the therapist 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.080 tell you, isn't a sign something's wrong if you're not fighting? 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:33.200 Yes, So I did have a relationship where we almost 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:36.480 never didn't, especially like the last several years. And you 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:38.760 know what it was. It was apathy, I mean, And 0:16:38.760 --> 0:16:41.840 that's how it was described to me, that you're literally numb. 0:16:41.920 --> 0:16:44.720 You don't care what the other person thinks, so you 0:16:44.760 --> 0:16:47.440 can't even be bothered to fight about it. That to 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.160 me is what no fighting means, especially if you've been 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.480 together for a certain period of time, you just lose 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.400 interest in giving a shit, like you just don't care 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:56.080 what they think. 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:58.720 We're not suggesting that's what George all are, but that 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:02.200 is give a lot of disclaimers. 0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.440 And I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I was just thinking, 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.199 you know, that's not I'm not assigning that to anyone, 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:10.000 but that's just what I have experience, and that's what 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:12.600 a therapist told me, Like, it's not healthy not to fight. 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:17.440 It's not help. But if it short of apathy, isn't 0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:21.080 there like two people, why are you not? Again, you've 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.520 been the more therapist than I have. I'm just what 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.840 else do they suggest? I thought you've talked about this before, 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:27.879 that it's just not a good son. Why are you not? 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:29.840 I guess maybe it is all apathy. But can you 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:32.880 be happy and not fight? Why? I don't know how 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:34.960 a disagreement doesn't come up ever? 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.680 I mean, other than like living a life of a monk, 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:40.080 I can't imagine. I mean, yes, I would always prefer 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:42.240 to choose peace, and I try to remind myself of that. 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:44.479 It's better to be okay, it's better to be kind 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:47.360 than to be right, Like I try to have that 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:50.000 going on in a loop in my head, and also 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:53.560 just recognizing your own ego. I don't know how much 0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:56.959 work they've done on themselves, but it's it's remarkable to 0:17:57.000 --> 0:18:00.359 the point that it feels unbelievable. But I'm so happy 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:02.840 for them if that actually is the case, and I 0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:04.840 would love for them to talk more about it and 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:07.560 what they if they have to have, like a mental 0:18:07.560 --> 0:18:10.920 discipline where they've learned to breathe through when someone says 0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:13.800 something instead of immediately reacting. I count to tent like 0:18:13.840 --> 0:18:17.320 whatever it is, because to tell me that emotionally inside 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:22.399 they haven't felt a reaction of anger or disagreement or 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:26.240 frustration or annoyance, that to me is humanly impossible. 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:29.200 So it's just how they handle it, then yes, So if. 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:32.000 They have been able to not show that in a 0:18:32.000 --> 0:18:34.240 way that created a reaction from the other part, because 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.879 that's obviously, then that's amazing And I would love to 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:39.280 hear more about it, And I think that the world 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:41.639 would love to hear how they do it, because honestly, 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:43.119 I think all of it, don't we all wouldn't we 0:18:43.200 --> 0:18:45.560 all love to be able to have an immediate filter, 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:49.400 process it and then not say something unkind or say 0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:52.400 something that you're gonna want to take back like that 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:53.840 would be amazing, And I. 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:57.000 Don't want to folks will. I mean, these are folks 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.640 who seem to be, at least from my vantage point, 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.040 living pretty good lives. And I say living pretty good lives. 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:07.760 They have luxuries and experiences that most people just don't get. 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:10.439 So I don't want to us just to go through this, 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:12.359 and because a lot of people will roll their eyes. Okay, 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:16.560