1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: Hey, the folks. In this episode a couple that has 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 1: been married ten years but claims they have never ever fought, 3 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: not once. Also, have you heard of this new concept 4 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: a partners as people who voluntarily live apart from their 5 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: significant other? And how much of an age gap is 6 00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: too great of an age gap when it comes to dating. 7 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,480 Speaker 1: Those are just a few of the relationship related headlines 8 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: that had us and everybody else talking the past week. 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ Rowl. Let's 10 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: start with that, ca can you is there a blanket 11 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 1: just there is an age gap that you just shouldn't 12 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 1: be dating. Is there a general rule or should we 13 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 1: all just it should go out the window and you 14 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: just do your thing. 15 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,160 Speaker 2: You know, I at this stage in my life am 16 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 2: not here to tell anybody else what they should or 17 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 2: shouldn't do. I think, you know, what, if your soul 18 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 2: falls in love with another person's soul, good for you. 19 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 2: But I do think that it's significantly more challenging to 20 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 2: have somebody who has a big age gap. But I think, look, 21 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 2: you have met people who are older who who read younger. 22 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 2: They just have different energy, And then you have younger 23 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 2: folks who have older energy. So I do think sometimes 24 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: you can. The age is just a number, and it's 25 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 2: more about how you live your life, how you operate, 26 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,319 Speaker 2: and the activity level you're willing to. 27 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 1: So forty nine year age gap can work. 28 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 2: I wouldn't want to tell somebody it couldn't, but it 29 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 2: wouldn't be for me. 30 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: Okay, say what you say? Where we're going here? Bill 31 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: Belichick Hall of Fame coach, Championship winning coach for the 32 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: Super Bowl winning coach New England Patriots. He's now the 33 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: head coach at North Carolina, but he's been in the 34 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 1: headlines a lot because, yes, he is dating a woman 35 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: that is forty nine years his junior. 36 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 2: Yes, Bill Belichick is seventy three years old. His girlfriend, 37 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 2: Jordan Hudson, is twenty four years old. So that is 38 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 2: a forty nine your age gap. 39 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: Should we start with? So what do you think if 40 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: you're happy, knock yourself out, if you're not hurting anybody 41 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:09,040 Speaker 1: else and not hurting your self, who is anybody to 42 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: say what's going on? 43 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 2: I would be on that side of things. Yes, However, 44 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 2: I think that everybody has to make that decision for themselves. 45 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: I just think it's so easy to stand in judgment 46 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 2: of other people. Yes, when if they're happy, why do 47 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,800 Speaker 2: you care? Like really white And maybe if you're Bill 48 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 2: Belichick's kids, you might care. You've got a personal reasons 49 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,359 Speaker 2: and you're invested in something other than what he's choosing, 50 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 2: and you've got to reason like fine than have your opinion. 51 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 2: But the rest of us, I just think we should 52 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 2: shut up. 53 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 1: Okay, But some were saying, excuse me, I shouldn't say no, 54 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,399 Speaker 1: I'm not saying. Some were saying, it's been talking about 55 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: a lot here late, that he's been on some red 56 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 1: carpets with her, and he's been out and been out there. 57 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: He's not necessarily hiding and being shy about it. But 58 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: he did an interview recently with CBS News and the 59 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: interview was on tape. I didn't realize it wasn't live, 60 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: so it was on tape. It was recorded. Apparently his 61 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: girlfriend was sitting off to the side. This was a 62 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: one on one between Bill Belichick and the interviewer at CBS, 63 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 1: and he was asked a question about his relationship and right. 64 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 2: So the question was they were asking how the two met, 65 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 2: because there are unsubstantiated reports that they met on a 66 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 2: plane back in twenty twenty one. Who knows whatever, But 67 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 2: the question was asked, how did you meet? And Jordan 68 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 2: jumped in. She didn't have a microphone, but from off 69 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 2: to the side she said, we are not talking about this, 70 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 2: and the interview said no, and she went no and 71 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 2: shut it down. Now you and I have both had 72 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 2: I could point to a very big interview where I 73 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 2: actually had something very similar happen where the wife got 74 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 2: upset at the question I was asking her husband and 75 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 2: these were famous folks. She jumped up, yelled at me 76 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 2: and walked out of the room. We made the decision 77 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,839 Speaker 2: not to put that in the piece because it wasn't 78 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 2: a part of the interview, and CBS News this actually 79 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,960 Speaker 2: CBS Sunday Morning made the choice to leave it in, 80 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:03,000 Speaker 2: which then created a lot of reaction from folks to. 81 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: What do you do there? I will take that first. 82 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: I didn't know what else they had on tape. I 83 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: don't know it for all. It kind have been a 84 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: boring interview and they're like, well, this will spice it 85 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,840 Speaker 1: up a little bit. Who knows what the decision making was. 86 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: Is it a part of this? So he was there 87 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,280 Speaker 1: to talk about a book something else. 88 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,919 Speaker 2: He's got a new book, The Art of Winning, and 89 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 2: that's why he was sitting down with CBS Sunday Morning 90 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 2: to talk about that and the lessons he learned from 91 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 2: his father. 92 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: But what do you do there as a journalist? It 93 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 1: had nothing to do necessarily with the interview, but it 94 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 1: became a part of the interview. I have a question 95 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: for this my interview, E I have a question, and 96 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: the answer to that question came from somebody who wasn't 97 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: being interviewed. Now, Bill Belichick would have said, you know what, 98 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 1: I'm gonna skip that disrespectfully, I might have left that 99 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: response out. He would just say, you know what, I 100 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: want to skip pass on that and moved on. But 101 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: to have that type of interruption, now she becomes the story. 102 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,839 Speaker 1: Why wasn't that talked about ahead of time? What questions 103 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 1: are we going to ask? Is it a rule violated? 104 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,799 Speaker 1: Who knows? I don't know that backstory, But it's hard 105 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: when she became a part of the interview voluntarily. 106 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's a decision made on a case 107 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:16,520 Speaker 2: by case basis and in the spirit of the interview. 108 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 2: And if they felt like, for whatever reason, that was 109 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,919 Speaker 2: an important part of the interview, and they wanted to 110 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 2: include it. Certainly. Of course they knew that that was 111 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 2: going to make that we're only talking about that interview 112 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 2: because of their decision to leave that part of what 113 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 2: happened off camera. It was on camera, but off to 114 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,599 Speaker 2: the side of the camera. They chose to leave it 115 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 2: in and that is why we're talking about it. 116 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: Could have been uh, I mean, I could have been 117 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:42,279 Speaker 1: a part of the strategy. People are going to be 118 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:43,720 Speaker 1: talking about it. People don't to be buzzing this so 119 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 1: go viral maybe, But yeah, it was a taped piece. 120 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: They had every opportunity do not include that at all, 121 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 1: and they chose to do so. But he's not the 122 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 1: only one. Look we look at and talk U seventy 123 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 1: three and twenty four. Yes, yes she was. They've known 124 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 1: each other for several years now. I think they've been 125 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,920 Speaker 1: dating for a couple of years, so she was younger. 126 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 1: This idea, now that it's come up in a much 127 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: more is much different. Let's make sure we're clear much different. 128 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: But also this underlying story of men, older men dating 129 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 1: women that are so much younger, and I'm talking about 130 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: the Shannon Sharp story. Now there's a fifty million dollar 131 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: lawsuit about sexual assault that's involved. However, there's been criticism 132 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: plenty from a lot of big names. Charlemagne and then 133 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: this clip from the comedian Monique came up in which 134 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 1: she was telling Shannon, being comedic, but stop messing around 135 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: with these young girls. 136 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,839 Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, get you an older woman who will make 137 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 2: you some food and take care of you and rub 138 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,080 Speaker 2: your feet when you come home. That's what she said 139 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 2: to him. It was quite funny, she warned him. She said, 140 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 2: stop pulling around with all these young girls. It's gonna 141 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:52,840 Speaker 2: come back and bite you. 142 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: Now. In Shannon's situation, he was fifty four and she 143 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: was nineteen when they first met. That again, that's what 144 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,280 Speaker 1: I'm I guess, hard to do the math S's that 145 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: thirty five thirty six year didn't have the math? 146 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 2: Right? Look, yes that's thirty five. I think here's yes 147 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 2: at that point. But you know, here's the deal. Once 148 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 2: once you're over the age of eighteen, it is perfectly legal. 149 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 2: And you know, I have a nineteen year old daughter, 150 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 2: I have a twenty two year old daughter. What I 151 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 2: want them dating men that old? No, I would not 152 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 2: because I would just be concerned there was the possibility 153 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 2: from manipulation and just when you're that young, you don't 154 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 2: know what you don't know. That's what I always am 155 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 2: telling my daughters, And so you just have to wonder, 156 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 2: you know, there is concern there. As a mom, I'm 157 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 2: concerned when I see this just for those young women, 158 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 2: not that they're not fully legal and capable of making 159 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 2: their own decisions, but are they actually emotionally and intellectually 160 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 2: and experiment like, do they have the experience to make 161 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 2: those decisions. That's where you would hope their parents would 162 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 2: step in, And I really think that's a role for 163 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 2: their family to maybe just make sure they're there and 164 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 2: watching and witnessing and trying to guide their loved ones. 165 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, technically. 166 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with There's nothing wrong with what anybody's doing. 167 00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 1: And I'm sure stepping out they know they're going to 168 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: be ridiculed, they're going to be talked about, they're going 169 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: to be buzzed about, they're going to be trending at times. 170 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: On some days, it's just those are two back to 171 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: back stories where I look, I've been around, and we've 172 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,239 Speaker 1: been around plenty. We know people who are dating folks 173 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,520 Speaker 1: who are have big age gaps. I mean ten years, 174 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: twenty years, fine, when you talk about fifty and thirty 175 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 1: five and that's you don't see that a lot. 176 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 2: I also think that it's important that when that when 177 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 2: those age gaps happen later in life, it really doesn't 178 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 2: feel like a big deal. It's only when the women 179 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 2: are so young, like you're talking about early twenties, teens, 180 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,400 Speaker 2: early twenties, that's tough. You know, as a woman, I 181 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,680 Speaker 2: can go back and look, I got married, I got 182 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 2: engaged and then married at twenty three, but it was 183 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 2: to someone at my same age. I still didn't have 184 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,520 Speaker 2: any business getting married at that age. I didn't know 185 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 2: who I was. I didn't know what the world was 186 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,199 Speaker 2: really all about. And I think, you know, especially young 187 00:08:56,240 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 2: women might think that they know, but I'm concer when 188 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 2: it's that age. If you've got some woman in her 189 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,319 Speaker 2: thirties dating someone in her in his fifties or sixties, 190 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 2: that's fine, she's lived enough. 191 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: Like that's what it is. Yeah, Okay, that's what it is. 192 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: That's what it is. Okay. That's the key to all 193 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 1: of this, because if I was talking about a forty 194 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: year old woman dating a seventy year old man, Okay, Wow, 195 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: they make it work. But you're not looking at her 196 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 1: as being in some way manipulated. 197 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 2: And I think that's the concern. Is there any sort 198 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 2: of manipulation or just a not even an intentional one. 199 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 2: But it just seems like that would have to be 200 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 2: the case because there's just such a big learning gap 201 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 2: of life. 202 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: Let's make sure we are not suggesting Belichick or Charlotte, 203 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: we're just making sure we just say that once again, yes, 204 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: that's not the suggestion at all. But part of the 205 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: age gap goes into the next story that was making headlines, 206 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 1: having to do it with people marry couples in some 207 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: instances not living together, voluntarily living sometime in the same 208 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 1: town and not far, not cross country all the time, 209 00:09:52,880 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 1: but choosing to live in two different homes. And some 210 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 1: of them say they do it because to your point, 211 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: there's such an age gap sometimes that you live differently. 212 00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 2: Exactly like some people like to go out and party 213 00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 2: at night and some people like to sleep in and 214 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 2: it just makes sense for them. There's actually a term 215 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 2: now that they've coined. Correct. It's called a part a partners. 216 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 1: Eight partners, so partners with an A in front of it. 217 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 1: So essentially apart. Nurse. 218 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, they are apart, but they are partners, so uh, partners, yes. 219 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 2: And look, we've had several people come out and talk 220 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 2: about this. Sarah Paulson, who is fifty, I believe in 221 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 2: her partner, Holland Taylor is eighty two, and she said, 222 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 2: you know, she was just talking about this, saying, look, 223 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,959 Speaker 2: when we're together, we're we like to sleep next to 224 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 2: each other, we like to fall asleep holding each other's hands. 225 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 2: But Sarah said, I've had a couple serious relationships. Holland 226 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 2: never has, and so for me to constantly be in 227 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,720 Speaker 2: her space, it would probably tear us apart. So we 228 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 2: need two separate homes because she's used to living a 229 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,679 Speaker 2: certain way. She's set in her ways to an extent. 230 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 2: She's eighty two years old, and she doesn't need me 231 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 2: coming in messing everything up. So that works for us. 232 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:13,320 Speaker 1: Surelee Ralph, we love her, of course, but she lives 233 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: cross country from her husband. That it works. I think 234 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 1: he's in Philly. She's in La Yeah, cross and she's smile. 235 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 1: We've talked to her about it personally. She beams a 236 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: big old smile talking about it. Yes, it's been they've 237 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 1: been doing it for years. It works. 238 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 2: They get they love their alone time. And I think 239 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 2: if you have two people who say, hey, I need 240 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 2: I don't just love, I need my alone time and 241 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 2: it works for them, you know what, it's interesting and 242 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 2: some people question whether or not it's real, if they're 243 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:42,000 Speaker 2: actually monogamous or serious, but by all accounts, it works 244 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 2: and it's successful. Another one Gwinneth Healthrow and her husband 245 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 2: Brad Falschuk. They actually live in the same city, but 246 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 2: they have two different houses. And I think When's kids 247 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 2: are the same age as mine, so it's not like 248 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 2: she's got young kids. I would understand that maybe if 249 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 2: you don't want to necessarily have a new man in 250 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 2: their lives. But now her kids are grown, and she 251 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 2: just said, this works for. 252 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: Us, And that's the bottom line. If it works where you, 253 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,320 Speaker 1: it works for you. There are some people, and I 254 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: mean a lot of people can relate to being with 255 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: someone or being in a relationship that is not great 256 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: for your sleeping habits because that other person comes to 257 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: bed late, likes it hot, likes it cold, wants the 258 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 1: TV on has different We have this issue I shouldn't 259 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,199 Speaker 1: say issue. Yeah, it's an issue that I have I'm 260 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: set in my ways when it comes to sleep. I 261 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 1: struggle even sleeping when I don't have the TV on 262 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: a certain amount of noise that is not your jam. 263 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, you sleep with a TV on. Yes, you like 264 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 2: to lay not vertically on the bed like most people, 265 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 2: but completely across it like horizontally. 266 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: It has to do with the TV, yep, because. 267 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 2: You're wanting to watch the TV. You like it warm. 268 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: You you like the heat on he being. 269 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 2: You don't like a cold room. So I always laugh, 270 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 2: you know, because you have some sleep issues, and we 271 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 2: all do, but you I've talked about them for over 272 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 2: the years. But any sleep expert will tell you should 273 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 2: have your room dark, cold and quiet. You like your 274 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 2: sleeping environment loud, and I'm talking like gunfire, like loud, bright, 275 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 2: because the TV is bright and warm. 276 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: Okay, that was our compromise. I don't put on action 277 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 1: movies anymore. 278 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 2: And you turn down the brightness on the television. 279 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 1: You're welcome to help me. 280 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 2: You are welcome, and I yes, And I've compromised on 281 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:31,360 Speaker 2: the heat. 282 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 1: So in that situation, will we be better off sleeping separately? 283 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 1: Sleeping in separate places. 284 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:38,079 Speaker 2: I don't like. 285 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,560 Speaker 1: But some people say yes, it's better for your health 286 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,880 Speaker 1: than even your mental health sometimes to be a part. 287 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: I love being with this person, I love spending time 288 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: with this person, but being in bed together night doesn't work. 289 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 2: I'm not there yet. But look, Cameron Diaz just talked 290 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 2: about this with her husband. They have separate bedrooms, and people, 291 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,439 Speaker 2: you know, people are like what she's like. It works 292 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,520 Speaker 2: for us. I mean a lot of times people have 293 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,600 Speaker 2: snoring issues. Separate bedrooms, they have separate bedroom, they live 294 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 2: in the same house. 295 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:06,079 Speaker 1: You can't just go to the couch like the rest 296 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:06,400 Speaker 1: of us. 297 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,680 Speaker 2: Kind of feels like, didn't they do that in the 298 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:12,440 Speaker 2: olden days? Were like retire to your own bedroom and 299 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,960 Speaker 2: the husbands would say, can I come visit you? But yeah, 300 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,600 Speaker 2: everyone had You know, I know a lot of people 301 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 2: who really believe in separate bathrooms. And if you're lucky 302 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 2: enough to have a enough for that, I'll support that. 303 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,280 Speaker 2: I feel like that's a good thing too. 304 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 1: Yes, I need want to cut my hair in. 305 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 2: Yes I know, Okay, I'm very aware of that. I 306 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 2: was actually going to suggest that. 307 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:38,240 Speaker 1: Okay, the other excuse me, the other story I had 308 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: everybody talking was one that really if you've been in 309 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: a relationship longer than what six months or a year. 310 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,720 Speaker 1: You'll find this very difficult to believe. A couple that's 311 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: been married more than a decade now says not once 312 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: in their relationship have they fought? Not one time? Not once? 313 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: Do you buy that? How is that possible? 314 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 2: I don't know how it's possible. Okay, you know I've lived, 315 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 2: I've had several relationships and never once has that ever 316 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 2: been true. And I would say, ah, I mean, if 317 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 2: you most I mean I've also had a lot of therapy, 318 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:19,200 Speaker 2: most therapists would say that it's that isn't possible. That 319 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 2: you're just pushing it down and then you're growing apart 320 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 2: because you just refused. You if you're not willing to 321 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 2: talk about someone always has to do something that annoys 322 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 2: you or upsets you or isn't what you would have 323 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 2: preferred or you disagree with, especially when you're raising children. 324 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 2: And so to think that there's never been a conflict, 325 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 2: there's never been. And I don't know if they're saying, well, 326 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 2: fighting is one thing and disagreeing is another. But it 327 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 2: just it's hard for me to imagine that you can't 328 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 2: get annoyed or pissed or angry at somebody who you love. 329 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: Okay, and the couple we're talking about is not just 330 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 1: any old random couple talking about George and Maul Clooney. 331 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,160 Speaker 1: They have talked about this now for years, but he 332 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 1: was talking about it recently and an interview, you know, 333 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: it was CBS News. Again. They just keep doing stuff 334 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: over there. He said that they have never once, not 335 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 1: about the trash, not about anything minor, certainly nothing major. 336 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: Never once. She said, they've gotten to a point that 337 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 1: there's a family member of her I think a cousin 338 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 1: that every time she runs into it's the first thing 339 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: out of his mouth. You guys thought yet, like it's 340 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: a thing that everybody know. I just don't know how 341 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: it's possible. And you talk about therapy, don't the therapist 342 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 1: tell you, isn't a sign something's wrong if you're not fighting? 343 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 2: Yes, So I did have a relationship where we almost 344 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,480 Speaker 2: never didn't, especially like the last several years. And you 345 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 2: know what it was. It was apathy, I mean, And 346 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 2: that's how it was described to me, that you're literally numb. 347 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 2: You don't care what the other person thinks, so you 348 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 2: can't even be bothered to fight about it. That to 349 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 2: me is what no fighting means, especially if you've been 350 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 2: together for a certain period of time, you just lose 351 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 2: interest in giving a shit, like you just don't care 352 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:56,080 Speaker 2: what they think. 353 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,720 Speaker 1: We're not suggesting that's what George all are, but that 354 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 1: is give a lot of disclaimers. 355 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 2: And I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I was just thinking, 356 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,199 Speaker 2: you know, that's not I'm not assigning that to anyone, 357 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 2: but that's just what I have experience, and that's what 358 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 2: a therapist told me, Like, it's not healthy not to fight. 359 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,440 Speaker 1: It's not help. But if it short of apathy, isn't 360 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: there like two people, why are you not? Again, you've 361 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: been the more therapist than I have. I'm just what 362 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,840 Speaker 1: else do they suggest? I thought you've talked about this before, 363 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,879 Speaker 1: that it's just not a good son. Why are you not? 364 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 1: I guess maybe it is all apathy. But can you 365 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,880 Speaker 1: be happy and not fight? Why? I don't know how 366 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 1: a disagreement doesn't come up ever? 367 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,680 Speaker 2: I mean, other than like living a life of a monk, 368 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 2: I can't imagine. I mean, yes, I would always prefer 369 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 2: to choose peace, and I try to remind myself of that. 370 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,479 Speaker 2: It's better to be okay, it's better to be kind 371 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,360 Speaker 2: than to be right, Like I try to have that 372 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 2: going on in a loop in my head, and also 373 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 2: just recognizing your own ego. I don't know how much 374 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,959 Speaker 2: work they've done on themselves, but it's it's remarkable to 375 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,359 Speaker 2: the point that it feels unbelievable. But I'm so happy 376 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 2: for them if that actually is the case, and I 377 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 2: would love for them to talk more about it and 378 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 2: what they if they have to have, like a mental 379 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,920 Speaker 2: discipline where they've learned to breathe through when someone says 380 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 2: something instead of immediately reacting. I count to tent like 381 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:17,320 Speaker 2: whatever it is, because to tell me that emotionally inside 382 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:22,399 Speaker 2: they haven't felt a reaction of anger or disagreement or 383 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:26,240 Speaker 2: frustration or annoyance, that to me is humanly impossible. 384 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: So it's just how they handle it, then yes, So if. 385 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 2: They have been able to not show that in a 386 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 2: way that created a reaction from the other part, because 387 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,879 Speaker 2: that's obviously, then that's amazing And I would love to 388 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 2: hear more about it, And I think that the world 389 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 2: would love to hear how they do it, because honestly, 390 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,119 Speaker 2: I think all of it, don't we all wouldn't we 391 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,560 Speaker 2: all love to be able to have an immediate filter, 392 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:49,400 Speaker 2: process it and then not say something unkind or say 393 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,400 Speaker 2: something that you're gonna want to take back like that 394 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:53,840 Speaker 2: would be amazing, And I. 395 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,000 Speaker 1: Don't want to folks will. I mean, these are folks 396 00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,640 Speaker 1: who seem to be, at least from my vantage point, 397 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 1: living pretty good lives. And I say living pretty good lives. 398 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:07,760 Speaker 1: They have luxuries and experiences that most people just don't get. 399 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,439 Speaker 1: So I don't want to us just to go through this, 400 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: and because a lot of people will roll their eyes. Okay, 401 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:16,560 Speaker 1: perfect couple in pictures. Now you're telling me they're perfect 402 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:16,920 Speaker 1: at home? 403 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 2: Right they live where? 404 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: Well? The someone wrote that, say, hey, I get they 405 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,600 Speaker 1: called BS on the whole thing, and I wish I 406 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 1: could give this person credit the whole article calling BS 407 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 1: on this and then at the end saying, well, I 408 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 1: guess if I lived at a house on Lake Como, 409 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have anything to fight about either, So that 410 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 1: you have to at least acknowledge you just some people 411 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,880 Speaker 1: will roll their eyes a little bit, But you're right. 412 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 1: I would absolutely love to hear more about it and 413 00:19:42,359 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: how they do it. We should try it. How long 414 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: can we go without a fight? 415 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 2: Well, you know what, I was counting. I didn't even 416 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 2: tell you this, but we did go and this is 417 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 2: a probably the longest stretch. We went four months without fighting. 418 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 1: Four months. No it's not, yes, yes it was. 419 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 2: It was from Christmas Eve all the way until about 420 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 2: two weeks ago. We really know, we know. We did 421 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 2: not believe me. I remember, it's gutting when we do. 422 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 2: We went four months. We went four months, and. 423 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 1: I was an Osha calendar in twenty days without an accident. 424 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 2: I don't remember a lot of things, but you know, literally, 425 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 2: I do have an Oha calendar in my head. And 426 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,640 Speaker 2: it's funny because when we got into the last fight, 427 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 2: you know, it was it was devastating to me because 428 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,679 Speaker 2: I was so excited. We were like, I wanted to 429 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 2: tell you, but I didn't want to jinx it, so 430 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 2: I was keeping it to myself. But now at this moment, 431 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 2: I'm letting you know we went four months. 432 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 1: I didn't. I wasn't counting. Apparently that's just that's what 433 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,640 Speaker 1: we should do. So uh, yeah, George and Maul, don't 434 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: listen to us. We clearly haven't figured this shit out. 435 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: But folks, yes, we've been wanted to talk, but we 436 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: didn't expect to extra record this. And we we've been 437 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 1: talking and buzzing about some of these stories and saying, hey, 438 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: we should do a pocket, we should do a podka, 439 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:57,159 Speaker 1: But then finally one more came along and there you 440 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,239 Speaker 1: have it. So hope you guys not out of this. 441 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 1: Please listen to your tall Have. 442 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:11,719 Speaker 2: A great day, everybody. M hm