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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for cutting my child's inheritance?

2
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Speaker 1: So this comes from an apprehensive grab twenty seven They

3
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Speaker 1: say backstory two years ago forty six female, Oh no,

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Speaker 1: lost my husband? Sorry, I did it just I forty

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Speaker 1: six female lost my husband in an accident and I

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Speaker 1: was heartbroken. We had three children and I thought we

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Speaker 1: were happy until his mistress showed up at my door

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Speaker 1: demanding money to support the child my husband fathered.

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Speaker 2: I know nothing about the story, so hopefully it's okay

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Speaker 2: to read.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: I didn't believe her, but she was able to prove

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Speaker 1: it with screenshots, messages, et cetera. The image that I

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Speaker 1: had of my husband was forever tainted, and he left

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Speaker 1: me with the mess because of bitterness about the betrayal

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Speaker 1: and how offended I was by the mistress's lack of

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Speaker 1: remorse and entitlement. I told her she wasn't getting a

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Speaker 1: doe and that she shouldn't have slept with a married man.

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Speaker 1: She kept harassing me, and when it wasn't going to work,

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Speaker 1: she went to my husband's family to put pressure on

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Speaker 1: me to give her what she wanted. She even tried

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Speaker 1: to involve my children, leveraging her silence for money. I

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Speaker 1: knew that once I gave her money, she would come back,

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Speaker 1: so I told them myself. My husband and I have

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Speaker 1: well paying jobs, lucrative investments, savings, and I got a

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Speaker 1: sizable amount from the life insurance policy. I consulted a lawyer,

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Speaker 1: and while she could prove the affair, it didn't prove paternity.

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Speaker 1: And since my husband wasn't on the birth certificate, nor

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Speaker 1: could she prove that my husband acknowledged the child, she

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Speaker 1: had no case.

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Speaker 2: What exactly is she just for my clarity? What is

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Speaker 2: actually exactly is she trying to do.

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Speaker 1: She's asking for money for child support for her kid

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Speaker 1: that was fathered she says, was fathered by Opie's husband

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Speaker 1: who is dead.

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Speaker 2: Oh so is going to op and saying you have

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Speaker 2: to pay.

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Speaker 1: Up for that, Yeah, out of the life insurance policy.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, but as of now, cannot prove, can't.

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Speaker 3: Prove it, can't prove it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: After my lawyer sent her a strongly worded letter, I

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Speaker 1: didn't hear from her for a while and thought it

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Speaker 1: was over until my oldest alex nineteen female came to

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Speaker 1: me and said that she did a DNA test with

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Speaker 1: the mistress behind my back.

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Speaker 2: Water.

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Speaker 1: She said that she did it because she wanted to

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Speaker 1: get this resolved. The child deserved to know who their

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Speaker 1: father was and get financial support that they were owed.

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Speaker 1: My husband had a will that stated each of his

51
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Speaker 1: children were to split in an inheritance that they would

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Speaker 1: only have access to when they went to college and

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Speaker 1: couldn't get full control until the age of twenty five.

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Speaker 1: When the results came back proving that my husband was

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Speaker 1: indeed the father, the mistress took me to court.

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Speaker 2: WHOA I mean, okay, okay, I don't know exactly how

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Speaker 2: I feel about this because on one hand, I'm like, well,

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Speaker 2: if he is the father, the baby should be receiving.

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Speaker 1: Child Yeah, But also, like I guess the nineteen year

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Speaker 1: old was like, this needs my mom's not going to

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Speaker 1: do anything and I need to go behind her back

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Speaker 1: to make sure this happens, or like what I believe

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Speaker 1: is right happens. But you really put like op in

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Speaker 1: a really hard.

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Speaker 2: Situation, really really hard situation.

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Speaker 1: Because I mean that like, lawyers ain't cheap. Lawyers ain't cheap.

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Speaker 1: So it was a long legal battle, but eventually a

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Speaker 1: settlement was made. I sat Alex down and explained to

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Speaker 1: her that her inheritance would be split fifty to fifty

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Speaker 1: between them and her half siblings as part of the

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Speaker 1: settlement agreement. When she asked if my other children had

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Speaker 1: to split theirs, I told Alex no. My husband's will

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Speaker 1: stated that it had to be split, but it didn't

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Speaker 1: say it had to be split equally, and until each

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Speaker 1: of the children turned twenty five, I had full control.

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Speaker 1: Alex was upset, thing that it wasn't fair. I countered,

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Speaker 1: saying that it wasn't fair that my other two children

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Speaker 1: had to get lesser share because my eldest choices, and

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Speaker 1: if they wanted their full share, they shouldn't have done

80
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Speaker 1: the DNA test. There's still plenty of money for Alex

81
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Speaker 1: to finish college, she just won't have much after that,

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Speaker 1: and I do plan on dividing my own estate equally

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Speaker 1: in my own will. All of this Alex knows, but

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Speaker 1: they are still giving me the cold shoulder. My own

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Speaker 1: siblings think that it wasn't fair and I'm punishing Alex

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Speaker 1: for doing right by her half sibling. But I don't

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Speaker 1: see it that way. Am I the a hole? And

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Speaker 1: there is a thick, juicy update. Oh wow, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of updates.

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Speaker 2: Ooh, i'velted.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm conflicted too.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think, yeah, Tricia de Sas, Alex made

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Speaker 2: the decision, so Alex can fade face the consequences.

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Speaker 1: I guess. Like, what is completely fair is that it

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Speaker 1: split equally between the four children. Yes, that's what I

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Speaker 1: guess is completely fair. So Alex should not have any

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Speaker 1: issues with that at the very least, right, Like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if it were if she was split.

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Speaker 1: Equally, yeah, she like she definitely should get less. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it only being taken out hmmm.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because Okay, I guess what I'm feeling right now

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Speaker 2: is because a lot of people are saying Alex messed up.

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Speaker 2: She she went behind the mom's back. The thing I'm

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Speaker 2: feeling is that the step child or the the if

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Speaker 2: not a fair child, but whoever the person asking for money,

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Speaker 2: that that the fair partner, the fair partner, that child

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Speaker 2: does deserve some support child support. But is it necessarily

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Speaker 2: o Pee's responsibility. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think is it, oh, Pea's responsibility. It is the

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Speaker 1: responsibility of the father, yes, to provide for all his children. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and now the father is kind of this life insurre.

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Speaker 1: It's policy, so yes, if a father, Like if a

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Speaker 1: father support supposed to support all of his children equally,

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Speaker 1: and now the father is kind.

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Speaker 2: Of like and it says in the will that it's

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Speaker 2: supposed to be given to all his kids equally.

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Speaker 1: Or not split, but not necessarily equally, which I feel

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Speaker 1: like is semanticspopole. I feel like the right thing to

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Speaker 1: do is to give inheritance to all children equally.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I think that is the right thing to do.

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Speaker 1: The responsibility of the father's estate. Yeah, it was the

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Speaker 1: dad's money, so should go to all the kids equally,

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Speaker 1: says Jelly. But that's that's what I That's what I

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Speaker 1: Fatsy feel too. And it's like it's like the nineteen

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Speaker 1: year old was like, I don't think she was doing

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Speaker 1: it selfishly. She was trying to do what was right, Like,

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Speaker 1: I don't think she was trying to get back at

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Speaker 1: her mom or anything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's still a little bit messy that

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Speaker 2: she went behind her mom back to do it.

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Speaker 3: M hm.

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Speaker 2: Always Reading says he never claimed the child on the certificate,

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Speaker 2: doesn't I think it's that's doesn't mean that the child

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Speaker 2: doesn't deserve support.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's still I mean, it's still it's still his kid.

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Speaker 1: Dixie Blue Steel says, we are kind of in this situation,

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Speaker 1: but we are all older. We split inheritance three ways

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Speaker 1: unless mom goes first. If mom goes first, it's split

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Speaker 1: between my sister and I. Oh, I see, I see.

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Speaker 1: Well then what if your does it? Does it get

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Speaker 1: if it split three ways and then your mom dies,

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Speaker 1: does it? Does her stuff get split with your sister

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Speaker 1: and I or your sister and you too.

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Speaker 2: I think maybe maybe another way to do this is

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Speaker 2: to have like calculated what the child support would be.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think definitely some kind of support.

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Speaker 2: I think there, I think some kind of support should

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Speaker 2: be given to this kid.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but let's get back and to this update. So

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Speaker 1: thank you to everyone's response is even the ones calling

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Speaker 1: me the a hole. But based on a few frequent questions, comments,

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Speaker 1: and or themes, I feel like I need to clarify

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Speaker 1: some things.

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Speaker 3: Alex is my daughter my son. When I first started.

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Speaker 1: Writing this, I wanted to leave gender out of it

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Speaker 1: in case it influenced people's judgment. But then I remember

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Speaker 1: that Reddit tends to prefer that age and gender get mentioned,

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Speaker 1: so I added nineteen female at the last minute. Hope

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Speaker 1: that clears it. Up a little. My other two children

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Speaker 1: are Junior seventeen male, and Sam fourteen female. The half

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Speaker 1: sibling is now five. When my husband drafted the whale

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Speaker 1: ten years ago, he initially named just our children, but

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Speaker 1: a friend of ours had an oops baby, so he

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Speaker 1: changed it to be just his children in case we

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Speaker 1: had another one. At least that's what.

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Speaker 3: He told me.

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Speaker 1: After the mistress threatened to tell my children and I

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Speaker 1: decided to tell them, I set them all down and

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Speaker 1: I explained the situation. They were understandably devastated and asked

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Speaker 1: if they really had another sibling. I told them that

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Speaker 1: I didn't know, and that if the mistress could prove it,

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Speaker 1: she might get some money. I told them that if

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Speaker 1: they wanted to know if they had a sibling or not,

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Speaker 1: we could find out. But I made sure that they

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Speaker 1: understood that their inheritance could be affected and other people

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Speaker 1: might come out claiming the same thing and get more money. Initially,

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Speaker 1: all my children said that they didn't want to have

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Speaker 1: to deal with that, and so I did everything that

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Speaker 1: I could to protect them. But I guess Alex had

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Speaker 1: a change of heart. Until the DNA test, I had

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Speaker 1: no reason to believe that my husband's mistress was telling

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Speaker 1: the truth and acted accordingly. I kept following my lawyer's advice,

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Speaker 1: and if she wanted money, the burden of proof was

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Speaker 1: on her. While some of you might think I was

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Speaker 1: the a hole, please understand that my decision wasn't spiteful.

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Speaker 1: If I really wanted to punish Alex, I would just

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Speaker 1: tell them they weren't getting any more money, since they

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Speaker 1: already used some of it for their first year of college,

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Speaker 1: so the guidelines of the will there technically already were met.

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Speaker 1: I still plan on leaving them an equal share of

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Speaker 1: inheritance from my estate too. And there is a big

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Speaker 1: juicy update and another big juicy update.

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Speaker 3: This is full of big juicy updates.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think the fact that all the kids went

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Speaker 2: to her and had that discussion of we don't want

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Speaker 2: to go through with this, and then Alex changed her mind.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it just yeah, like slithy Toaves says,

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Speaker 1: Alex betrayed the whole family. I feel if this context,

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Speaker 1: it does feel like more of a betrayal.

200
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Speaker 2: I think the thing is that it would feel more,

201
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,480
Speaker 2: it would feel more like a punishment. If OP were

202
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:12,520
Speaker 2: to split the entire inheritance, you know, what do you mean? Like,

203
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Speaker 2: so if all of the kids had to split their

204
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Speaker 2: inheritance rather than just Alex for the.

205
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Speaker 3: Would feel like more of a punishment of those kids.

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Speaker 2: So I'm basically what I'm saying is, right now we

207
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Speaker 2: were like, oh, is op punishing Alex for going behind

208
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Speaker 2: her back? Whereas I'm saying, it feels more like she

209
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Speaker 2: Op would be punishing her other kids if she just

210
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Speaker 2: split the inheritance by you know, four ways or three ways.

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Speaker 1: So you're saying, yeah, it's more of a punishment because

212
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Speaker 1: all of the kids are now affected.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and they specifically she talked to them and said

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Speaker 2: what do you want to do, and they all agreed

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Speaker 2: they didn't want to handle that, and then Alex went

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Speaker 2: behind the back. So I guess I think it would

217
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Speaker 2: be more a punishment to the other kids when they

218
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Speaker 2: already agreed on one thing and then Alex changed her mind,

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Speaker 2: because I think if Ali had come to her mom

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Speaker 2: and said, hey, I'm think I think I want to

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Speaker 2: do this. I think that I feel that this kid

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Speaker 2: owes something I feel that we should figure out, and.

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Speaker 1: Then it's like, hey, if you like, huh, well we're

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Speaker 1: down to do this, but just know you're it's going

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Speaker 1: to be.

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Speaker 2: Take out of your inheritance. Yeah, because the other your

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Speaker 2: other siblings did not agree to this. Yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: that would have been a conversation that could have you know, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: weird things up.

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Speaker 3: Timberly Fine says, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The conversation with the kids followed by Alex's actions changes

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Speaker 1: things completely. The gravity of her financial choice should only

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Speaker 1: be placed on her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Just think about all the money spent on Warriors. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think right now, I'm like, the kid deserves some

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Speaker 2: of this money. But Alex also did go behind people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so there is an update. So thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for so many responses, even the ones who didn't

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent agree with me, because it did give

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Speaker 1: me perspective. I also wanted to give an update to

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Speaker 1: answer us to some questions to anyone who was curious.

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Speaker 1: So here it goes. Since I told Alex what would

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Speaker 1: be happening, she told her siblings and the house has

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00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,199
Speaker 1: been pretty tense. To try to make peace, I spoke

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Speaker 1: to each of my children one on one and as

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Speaker 1: a group to figure out what to do next. I

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00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:11,480
Speaker 1: spoke to Alex first, and some interesting information was revealed

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Speaker 1: that I'm very angry about apparently the mistress created a

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Speaker 1: fake profile account and manipulated my daughter into befriending her.

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Speaker 2: Someone did just say this, and I was wondering this too,

251
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Speaker 2: of like how did they get in contact? I was

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00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,520
Speaker 2: thinking that she manipulated the Alex. I was thinking this, wait.

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Speaker 1: This is exactor gaining my daughter's trust. She pretended that

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Speaker 1: she was in a similar situation as her and said

255
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 1: that a DNA test would prove that there wasn't any paternity.

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00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,560
Speaker 1: When Alex went behind our backs, she thought that it

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Speaker 1: would prove the mistress was trying to scam us. My

258
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,520
Speaker 1: son Junior seventy Maile is furious that Alex went behind

259
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,319
Speaker 1: our backs and doesn't care why she did it and

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00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,760
Speaker 1: blames her for being stuck with a half sibling he

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00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:58,320
Speaker 1: doesn't want.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, okay, ok okay, wait, sorry, So Alex

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00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,800
Speaker 2: thought that the kid was.

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Speaker 1: Not yeah, and was like manipulated by this person into

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Speaker 1: doing it, because it's like, oh, guess what, like if

266
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Speaker 1: you actually get this DNA test, you'll prove that mistress

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Speaker 1: is not really doesn't really have your father's baby.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, doesn't change my reaction to Alex. She still went

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Speaker 2: behind her back. She still went behind Yeah, but does

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Speaker 2: does add.

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Speaker 1: But she went behind the back to be a hero

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Speaker 1: not a villain.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, so does change the content.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Also, someone said, why do I think the other kids

276
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Speaker 2: should be punished? I was saying they shouldn't be Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I was saying that's bad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Jelly says, Yeah, Alex was used. Yeah, Alex was manipulated.

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Speaker 1: And you know it's like a what she's like nineteen.

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Speaker 2: So Alex was manipulating a little bit in a way

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Speaker 2: that she thought she was behaving for the benefit of

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Speaker 2: her family.

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Speaker 3: Yea, when she was still a stupid mood. Still stupid,

284
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Speaker 3: but yeah, you know she's nineteen.

285
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Speaker 1: I asked my children that since they now know the truth,

286
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Speaker 1: would they want a relationship with their half sibling. Junior

287
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:06,960
Speaker 1: clearly wants nothing to do with the child and says

288
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,959
Speaker 1: that Alex should feel lucky. He still considers her a sister.

289
00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 1: Sam says she doesn't want to, and I feel it's

290
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,520
Speaker 1: because she's in denial and wants to live life pretending

291
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,400
Speaker 1: that her father is perfect. Alex admits that she is curious,

292
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,720
Speaker 1: but never wants to see or hear from the Mistress

293
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,280
Speaker 1: ever again, so she doesn't think a meeting will ever

294
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,440
Speaker 1: be possible. I proposed family therapy, and while my girls

295
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,440
Speaker 1: are open to it, my son says that therapy is

296
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,280
Speaker 1: only for people who have something broken in them, and

297
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,440
Speaker 1: that he's not broken. He's now happy that his father

298
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,640
Speaker 1: is dead and wants to change his last name as

299
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,280
Speaker 1: soon as he turns eighteen. I'm not going to force him,

300
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,760
Speaker 1: but I do hope he changes his mind one day.

301
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,440
Speaker 2: This boy needs that happy.

302
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:45,280
Speaker 3: He needs therapy probably the most.

303
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,000
Speaker 2: He needs therapy, for sure the most or sure?

304
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, So there is some edits for clarification because I

305
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,760
Speaker 1: keep seeing this. Before I made my first post, before

306
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,080
Speaker 1: I told Alex what was going to happen with her

307
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,120
Speaker 1: share of the trust, the settlement was already finalized, so

308
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:02,840
Speaker 1: there is no still cutting because it's already done. Technically,

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00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,160
Speaker 1: I could go back and renegotiate the terms of the settlement,

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00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:09,080
Speaker 1: but the mistress could try and come back for more money. Initially,

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00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:13,960
Speaker 1: she wanted the entire life insurance policy, fifty percent of

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00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,400
Speaker 1: the trust for just her child, and fifty percent of

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00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:21,520
Speaker 1: my husband's savings. That's crazy. Her argument was since that

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00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:24,160
Speaker 1: I was still working and had a high paying job,

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00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,760
Speaker 1: my children and I didn't need the money, and she

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00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,480
Speaker 1: was a struggling single mother. I am honestly getting exhausted

317
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:33,000
Speaker 1: with everything to deal with that woman anymore and don't

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Speaker 1: want to spend more on legal fees. Edit too, I

319
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,960
Speaker 1: have not now, nor have I ever, blamed Alex for

320
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,320
Speaker 1: her father cheating on me. That is ridiculous and I

321
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,560
Speaker 1: don't know how people are coming to that conclusion, especially

322
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,280
Speaker 1: when I never said that it was her faults. And

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00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,080
Speaker 1: Edit three, I'm coming to the realization that some people

324
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,320
Speaker 1: believe that Alex is getting absolutely nothing, which isn't true.

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00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,600
Speaker 1: There's still plenty of money from the trust for her

326
00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,400
Speaker 1: to finish college. She lives at home rent free. I

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00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,400
Speaker 1: pay all of her bills, give her an allowance, allow

328
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,520
Speaker 1: her to use the car that's in my name, and

329
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,040
Speaker 1: she will get an equal share of my estate when

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00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:08,680
Speaker 1: I pass. And there is one final update by WHOA

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00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:14,360
Speaker 1: what a this Susie w story Sophia so I fourteen

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00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,200
Speaker 1: female lost my dad an accident on.

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Speaker 4: Oh oh, Reddit Christmas. We're getting from another perspective. We're

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00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 4: getting a perspective of the sister the fourteen female.

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Speaker 2: Oh clearly like this.

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Speaker 1: Is great, Reddit Christmas. I love it so. I fourteen female,

337
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 1: lost my dad in an accident almost three years ago,

338
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,320
Speaker 1: and I was so upset. One minute he was there,

339
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,880
Speaker 1: and one day my mom and grandparents sat me, my

340
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 1: sister nineteen female, and brother seventeen male down to say

341
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,360
Speaker 1: that he was in the hospital and three days later

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00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,680
Speaker 1: he was gone. I love my dad so much, and

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00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 1: while I knew he wasn't perfect, I still thought he

344
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 1: was a great man. Then one day my mom forty

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00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,200
Speaker 1: six female, sat me down and my siblings down again

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00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 1: and told us that a woman was going around claiming

347
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,680
Speaker 1: that her child was also dad's. They're younger than me,

348
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,760
Speaker 1: which meant my father cheated. We were all very upset

349
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 1: and refused to believe that our dad would be so horrible.

350
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,600
Speaker 1: Only reason my mom was telling us was because the

351
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,919
Speaker 1: woman threatened to if she wasn't given money to go away.

352
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,160
Speaker 1: From that day forward, I knew I would hate her

353
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,560
Speaker 1: for the rest of my life because we were starting

354
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,719
Speaker 1: to get used to my dad not being around and

355
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:27,560
Speaker 1: she shoves her greedy hands into our family. My mom

356
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,840
Speaker 1: offered to do a DNA test to prove if this

357
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:33,000
Speaker 1: child was really our half siblings, my siblings, and I

358
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 1: we all said no. It was a stressful battle for

359
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 1: my mom, but she fought for us, and eventually the

360
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 1: woman went away. Then my sister decided to do the

361
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:45,160
Speaker 1: darn DNA test behind her backs and proved my dad

362
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,560
Speaker 1: wasn't a good person. I don't know if I can

363
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,399
Speaker 1: ever forgive my sister for doing that to me. My

364
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,679
Speaker 1: sister is upset that my brother and I don't support

365
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,800
Speaker 1: her decision, but I don't see why I should. I

366
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:56,040
Speaker 1: wanted this woman to go away forever, but now that

367
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 1: there's undeniable proof that she had my dad's last child,

368
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,760
Speaker 1: unless there's another baby out there somewhere, my paternal grandparents

369
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 1: want a relationship, and they want me to just accept

370
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,200
Speaker 1: it and be a big sister. I don't want to.

371
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:10,879
Speaker 1: My brother is hardcore against this and wants to legally

372
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,399
Speaker 1: change his name when he turns eighteen. I'm honestly thinking

373
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,320
Speaker 1: of changing my surname too, because my parental family is

374
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,200
Speaker 1: starting to be really awful to my mom. My grandma

375
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,880
Speaker 1: is acting like having this child around is a blessing

376
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,760
Speaker 1: and it's incredibly insulting to my mom. But I guess

377
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,199
Speaker 1: her feelings don't matter to them anymore. For Christmas, my

378
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,080
Speaker 1: paternal side wants to all do a zoom meeting so

379
00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:34,280
Speaker 1: we can officially meet my dad's other child, give them presents,

380
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,280
Speaker 1: and tell them we can't wait to see them in person.

381
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:38,960
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. I don't want to

382
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 1: see my dad's mistress. I don't want to pretend that

383
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,359
Speaker 1: I have good feelings toward this kid. I don't know

384
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 1: them and don't care to know them. Their existence is

385
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 1: just a painful reminder of the awful thing my dad did,

386
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 1: how little he cared about my mom, and how easily

387
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,399
Speaker 1: replaceable I am as the baby of the family. My

388
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,159
Speaker 1: paternal aunts know that this situation is an ideal, but

389
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,320
Speaker 1: they think I'm being selfish and need to learn to

390
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 1: get past what's happened.

391
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,119
Speaker 3: But I don't see why I should.

392
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,720
Speaker 1: So am I the a hole for not wanting to

393
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 1: join a zoom chat to meet my new sibling? I mean,

394
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,399
Speaker 1: you're fourteen, you get you don't get to anything.

395
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this sop is not the a hole for Yeah.

396
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 1: No, Op, you're not the ahole. But go to family

397
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:21,400
Speaker 1: therapy please. Oh oh my goodnesss I love it when

398
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,639
Speaker 1: we get other perspectives, but it pretty much lined up

399
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:27,240
Speaker 1: with everything that the mom said, yeah, which is good,

400
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 1: which it means we got some reliable in the narrators

401
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 1: in this house. But yeah, chronic case is not the

402
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: A Tricha Dy says, I would never trust Alex again ever. Yeah,

403
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 1: I mean it is a bad thing to go against

404
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 1: the wishes of your family. But also know that Alex

405
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,439
Speaker 1: was manipulated by the mistress. So, like, you know, let

406
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:51,360
Speaker 1: let that have goods, had good intentions, does.

407
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:55,919
Speaker 2: Not discount that she made a large mistake, large that

408
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,159
Speaker 2: affected her whole family.

409
00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now she has to sit with fifty percent

410
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 1: less inheritance. Get f dude, Yeah, what a story. Akimor says,

411
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 1: So she's clinging to the last child. I mean, I

412
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,399
Speaker 1: guess maybe the grandparents are clinging to the last child

413
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,640
Speaker 1: because they lost their Yeah, and so they just want Yeah.

414
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 1: But just I was just saying, but at the by

415
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,439
Speaker 1: trying to like unite these two families, they're kind of

416
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,240
Speaker 1: losing the original family.

417
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's it's it doesn't make sense to

418
00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:28,320
Speaker 2: expect them to want to welcome this affair wild And.

419
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, why would you want that at all?

420
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 1: Like, you know, the mistress should just take care of

421
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 1: her kid with the money she has in silence, you.

422
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,200
Speaker 3: Know, maybe got her money. I don't know why I am.

423
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,480
Speaker 1: Maybe you know, she got her money. Maybe the grandparents,

424
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 1: you know, maybe the grandparents a little bit the a

425
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 1: holes were forcing this beutification, you know, Like the mistress

426
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,719
Speaker 1: is definitely a hole for for you know, hooking up

427
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,640
Speaker 1: with a married person and okay with a married person.

428
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 1: I actually don't know if she she's the a hole

429
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 1: for manipulating Alex, but I don't know if she's the

430
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 1: a hole for going after the money in general.

431
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,120
Speaker 2: I think that I think the money is ot to her. Well,

432
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:04,400
Speaker 2: she's the a hole for the.

433
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 3: Way about it. Yeah, Ale for having.

434
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: The affair, ye Ale for having affair, A hole for

435
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 2: the way she went about it.

436
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,359
Speaker 1: But she is now that she has the kids, she

437
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,119
Speaker 1: is like I think the money need like the money

438
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 1: is deserved. But I think the the the mom is

439
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:20,439
Speaker 1: not the ale She did everything right.

440
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 2: I don't think the Yeah, I don't think oh is.

441
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,440
Speaker 1: The Alex is not the a hole because she is

442
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 1: manipulated and trying to do what's best.

443
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 2: But I think her actions are bad, bad though.

444
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 1: But I think the grandparents are the a hole for sure,

445
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: for trying to put it together.

446
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:38,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say, going back to Alex is

447
00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,200
Speaker 2: a holder or not, I agree, I don't. I think

448
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,119
Speaker 2: she was manipulated, but I think that the consequences she

449
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 2: received were fair of having her inheritance with this affair

450
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,159
Speaker 2: child she's I think Alex was. I think she's not

451
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 2: the ale because she was manipulated, but I think the

452
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,880
Speaker 2: consequence she received for the mistake that she made were fair.

453
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I agree, I agree.

454
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 1: I think the fifty to fifty splay, like, based on

455
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 1: all the context we get, the fifty percent coming out

456
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,240
Speaker 1: of her inheritance, I think does make sense.

457
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.

458
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, she made that mistake and she went behind her

459
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 2: family's back, even though it was for good reasons, you

460
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 2: still did that. Yeah, and yeah, but that's that's the

461
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 2: end of the story in this episode.

462
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, this episode. So Yeah, So that brings us back

463
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 1: to the question our DNA tests good. Do they do

464
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 1: more harm than good? Or do they do more good

465
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 1: than harm? I think again, in this scenario, like.

466
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,800
Speaker 2: Even though it did make their lives more difficult, I

467
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 2: think it was still unnecessary thing.

468
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just you know, truth should come out. But

469
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: you know what else is a sad truth. This episode's ending,

470
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: so if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

471
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:47,479
Speaker 3: We love you and see you tomorrow. This is an

472
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 3: episode from Deep within the Archives.

473
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:52,240
Speaker 5: Time for okop relash.

474
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 1: Am I the ahole for telling my dad that I

475
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: owe him nothing and I.

476
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,120
Speaker 3: Don't care about him. Nope, Why he only and raised you. Yeah,

477
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:05,440
Speaker 3: I only burned you from his seed, exactly from his babysack. Yeah.

478
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 1: The gist is this. I lost my mom to a

479
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 1: long term health issue when I was ten. The cost

480
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: of the treatment drained my parents' finances, and it was

481
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 1: just my dad and me after my mom died, no

482
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 1: extended family. Dad started dating when I was twelve when

483
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 1: he met Jane.

484
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 6: Jane.

485
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,199
Speaker 1: After a few months, he told me her son had

486
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 1: a form of brain cancer and was very sick.

487
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 3: To him, this guy can't.

488
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 1: Get a break, seriously, God, and that they were getting

489
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 1: married and he would be helping take care of her son.

490
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 1: We went from two in a tiny two bedroom house

491
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,199
Speaker 1: to four in a tiny two bedroom house and me

492
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,359
Speaker 1: sharing a room with a terminally ill toddler. I didn't

493
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 1: even know. Oh God, this is going in a bad place.

494
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:48,320
Speaker 1: Maybe on an ll see, we have to make so

495
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: many changes. No more takeout, which was once a month

496
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 1: treat before that. I had to stop my only extracurricular activity.

497
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 3: I thought she was going to say, I had to

498
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 3: stop my only fans God.

499
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 1: No friends over because noise bothered him, no space that

500
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,959
Speaker 1: was mine, no extra money for celebrating birthdays and Christmas.

501
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 1: When I was fifteen, Dad and I got into a

502
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 1: huge argument because I was never home and was always

503
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,200
Speaker 1: saying no to helping Jane take care of her son.

504
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,680
Speaker 1: When I told him how much I hated the situation,

505
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 1: he looked me in the eye and told me to

506
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 1: grow up. I mean, I think, like, yeah, to what extent,

507
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 1: but it's like you're like fifteen and your life has

508
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 1: drastically changed. Yeah, And also like I feel like, you know,

509
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 1: the take take out whatever, you can ditch that, maybe

510
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 1: even the presence, but you need a community of like friends.

511
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 3: And if like she's not able to hang out with

512
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 3: her friend really hurt, like that's gonna be good for

513
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 3: her to help where she can. But like at the

514
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 3: end of the day, like you can't just completely suck

515
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 3: her life away, like still still give her at least

516
00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 3: the ability to go outside the home. Yeah, just because

517
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 3: it's going to be.

518
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 1: I mean, when you don't have a support network, how

519
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: can you give you know exactly, you don't have enough

520
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 1: for yourself. He also told me that I was old

521
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 1: enough to understand that life wasn't always easy or fun

522
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 1: and that a rougher life can build character.

523
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 3: Oh no, which is not a build character. I mean,

524
00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,919
Speaker 3: I guess that's true, but in a way it is.

525
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 1: He told me we grew our family, which was a

526
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,239
Speaker 1: good thing, and one of the consequences of that is

527
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 1: sometimes having less, but that it's worth it for the

528
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: extra love.

529
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 3: I told him, that's fucking bullshit.

530
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,639
Speaker 1: He told me I was not his whole life and

531
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 1: he was not going to stop doing what he wanted

532
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 1: to do because of me. Then he told me to

533
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,679
Speaker 1: never ever say anything around his step son because he

534
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 1: was a kid and didn't know I resented him for

535
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: being sick, which is true.

536
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 3: Oh he shouldn't you know, say that another kid.

537
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,160
Speaker 1: After that talk, I was even more distant and left

538
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 1: when I was seventeen right after graduation and couchsurfed until

539
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 1: I went to college. I graduated high school at seventeen

540
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 1: and turned eighteen that October. I didn't stay in touch

541
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 1: when I was nineteen. I heard that dad's step son

542
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: had died in college. I met my wife and got

543
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: married this past June. This then in November, my dad

544
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,720
Speaker 1: showed up and told me he wanted to talk.

545
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 3: I shut the door in his face. Oh man, dang.

546
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: He kept showing up where I was to talk. After

547
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,720
Speaker 1: getting annoyed with him, I agreed to meet him for coffee.

548
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: He told me how he'd ended up divorced from Jane

549
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: and how his stepsone had died, and he looked disappointed

550
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,640
Speaker 1: when he learned I knew. He told me how he'd

551
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 1: been struggling a lot and how he was hoping I

552
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,359
Speaker 1: could help him out. I laughed in his face and

553
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,879
Speaker 1: told him he had some nerve ope or being a

554
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,879
Speaker 1: dick dude. He mentioned that he'd spent a lot of

555
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 1: money on finding me and he wanted us to repair things.

556
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: He also needed my help. I told him no way.

557
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: He became angry and told me he was my dad

558
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 1: and that he was always there for me, and I

559
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 1: owed him. I told him I own him nothing, and

560
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: I threw most of his words back in his face,

561
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: including that he needed to grow up and that he

562
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: was not my whole life and I would not stop

563
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,840
Speaker 1: doing what I want. It became a bit of a scene.

564
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 1: He told me at my age, I should have grown

565
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,200
Speaker 1: more compassion, am I the ahle Fuck yeah.

566
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 3: Dude, yes, Wow, it's just that's so sad.

567
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 6: That's a lot to hold on to for that long, what.

568
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,360
Speaker 3: It was, for what it was, because I think it's

569
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,399
Speaker 3: like he guilted up too. Though I definitely agree that

570
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,600
Speaker 3: there was, Like, you know, he should have allowed you

571
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 3: more freedom to go out, and like he should have

572
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 3: figured out basically a better setup where it's like all right, look,

573
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,239
Speaker 3: you know it's gonna not be super fun, but like

574
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,879
Speaker 3: I'm gonna still work to give you some some stuff

575
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,840
Speaker 3: of a quote unquote normal teenage life or whatever. It

576
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 3: wasn't a great situation, don't get me wrong for you,

577
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 3: but like I think that's you're harboring too much resentment.

578
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 1: I don't know, Yes, he could have let you maybe

579
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,720
Speaker 1: have a little bit more freedom, more friends, but like,

580
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: think about it from his perspective.

581
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:34,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, his wife died.

582
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, he tried to find someone he wanted just to

583
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 1: love someone, and like all the baggage they came with,

584
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: because he has an own baggage, right, Like, yeah, he

585
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: has a kid too, is a dead wife. Like that's tough, right,

586
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: and then they find out that this kid is terminally ill.

587
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 1: He just wants to support this person that he loves.

588
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 1: Kid dies, his wife divorces him, He has nothing. He

589
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 1: was just trying to do his best with the you

590
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 1: know what he's got and then like to laugh to

591
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: just to laugh at his face.

592
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 3: And yeah, it's too too much, dude, it's way too much.

593
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,680
Speaker 3: Sound sound like a total asshole. She definitely do sound

594
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:09,360
Speaker 3: like an asshole.

595
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 1: I think, like the general thing is just don't be vindictive.

596
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: Her life is worse because she's holding all that pain

597
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,360
Speaker 1: and anger, like that's eating in her inside every day

598
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: and it shows by how she's acting. If she releases

599
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: that and shows a little compassion, her life will actually improve.

600
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 3: It's way too much. You will do yourself a favor

601
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 3: by forgiving and trying to work towards and have a

602
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 3: better relationship with your father, which hopefully who knows the

603
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 3: exact scenario, but it sounds like there could be a

604
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 3: path to that.

605
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, with the dad reaching out, and it's not like

606
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: maybe he was neglectful, but that was out of us,

607
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,680
Speaker 1: Like that was situational, not because he was a neglectful person.

608
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, like it didn't seem like there was complaints,

609
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 3: but kind of before, you know, when when his wife

610
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 3: was still alive and all that stuff. So try to

611
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 3: show a little compassion changeing well. But also if you

612
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: want to change up your own life, you should go

613
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 3: to r slash okop showing your story. Boom, send him

614
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 3: in because we read him on the podcast all the time.

615
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: Yeah we do, Okayopie, Hello, Hello, welcome to another episode

616
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 1: of Okayopy.

617
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 5: Welcome back baby.

618
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: I'm Samuel Donner and I'm John Fry, and we're about

619
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 1: to get into our first story. This is from user

620
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: toss away throw It, which I guess is a toss

621
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 1: away throw it maybe a metaphor. Okay, here we go today.

622
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 1: I effed up by walking naked through a hotel ouch

623
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:37,000
Speaker 1: obligated to say this happened a few years ago. Oh

624
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: but lucky me, did I ever duck up? My husband

625
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: and I were gifted an amazing night's stay at a

626
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: very expensive hotel. I'm talking thousand dollars, dinner at a

627
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: diamond restaurant, and views from our room that were just

628
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 1: million dollar views. God man, so fancy as hell fancy

629
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: as hell. For us, this was a once in a

630
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: lifetime experience. This is also our very first getaway after

631
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 1: having our baby, and I had spent the first few

632
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 1: months breastfeeding and was in the process of weaning due

633
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: to starting new medications soon. But I promise you, if

634
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 1: my baby even made the simplest noise at night, I

635
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: would rush in faster than the speed of lights to

636
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 1: check on my baby, sometimes even before my eyes opened.

637
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 5: She's a good mind. It sounds like she deserved a break.

638
00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 1: She definitely deserves a break, and she's a great mom.

639
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 1: But that information is gonna become very relevant very soon.

640
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 1: So finally I agreed to go on a romantic getaway.

641
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 3: You know, like the romantic get away. You got the roses,

642
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 3: you got the.

643
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 5: Horse drawn, like the heart shaped bed you know what

644
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:38,520
Speaker 5: I mean with?

645
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, with like rose petals everywhere.

646
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, or maybe it's like a heart shaped waterbed with

647
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 1: fish inside.

648
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 3: Have you seen those?

649
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 5: Definitely fish inside a.

650
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 3: Waterbed, fish inside the waterbed. It's a whole thing. Look

651
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 3: it up, people, look it up.

652
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: So finally I agreed to go on a romantic getaway

653
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 1: just me and my husband.

654
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, So we.

655
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,960
Speaker 1: Left our baby with the grandparents, and off we went

656
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 1: for our magical evening. We happily drank too much wine,

657
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: my first time drinking since giving birth, and we had

658
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: the romantic, passionate, slightly intoxicated evening of enjoying every part

659
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: of each other, and we passed out in the warm

660
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 1: embrace of one another.

661
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 5: It's beautiful. It's beautiful story.

662
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:24,680
Speaker 3: This is beautiful.

663
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: Honestly, I feel like I'm about to get into them,

664
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 1: some fifty shades of gray territory, but with the best threesome,

665
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 1: fifty shades of real.

666
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 6: Dude.

667
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 1: I love that, Like we're going snorkelin and it's about

668
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 1: to get wet and wild and oh.

669
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 3: Then I woke up.

670
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: A very nice man asked me if I was okay,

671
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 1: and I looked around, realizing that I was in the lobby.

672
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: I apologized and said, oh yes, and the concerned man

673
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: looked at me like I was an alien and stepped

674
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 1: into the elevator. As the door shut, I started to

675
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: realize I must have slept walk which I guess she's doing,

676
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,960
Speaker 1: Like she's just like walking downstairs, Like I get sleepwalking,

677
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 1: but sleepwalking out of your hotel room.

678
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, sep elevator.

679
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 1: That seems all that's that's tough, like you can like

680
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,640
Speaker 1: it's impressive that you can operate on that much autopilot,

681
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 1: Like you're a safe you're getting your z's, you're getting

682
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: your nine hours, Yet you're going down to the lobby

683
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: Like that's some serious Like if only we could just

684
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 1: like I don't know if we could utilize that sleep

685
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 1: time to work out or.

686
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 3: Uh exactly do something more show.

687
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, record this show in our sleep, in our sleep, baby,

688
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: so I must have slept walk It's happened before, not

689
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,880
Speaker 1: in many years. However, the combination of wine, my slightly

690
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 1: overfilled rack, thinking I needed to feed, and knowing that

691
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 1: any sound would have sent me running to check on

692
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 1: my baby, like she's not overly surprised.

693
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 5: I love slightly overfilled rack.

694
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 1: Yeah what I even get that of vasa, my slightly

695
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: overfilled rack.

696
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 5: Extra supply in there, you know what I mean?

697
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 3: Yeah she does.

698
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: She's got a baby like there that needs that milk

699
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: and it's not relieving it all right, real question, if

700
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: your girlfriend was pregnant.

701
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 3: Would you try it out? Yeah, you try a little taste, Yes.

702
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 5: Yes I would, without a doubt. I thought him. I found.

703
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely would. I definitely would. So back all right,

704
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: she slept walking, She's in the lobby. Then I looked down.

705
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: I looked down, and that's the moment of horror. I

706
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: was completely naked, Yes, ass naked.

707
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 3: I ran.

708
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: I ran down the hallway, across the main area. There

709
00:33:56,360 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: were standards that looked shocked, and somehow successfully down my room.

710
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: I guess in all the commotion she actually found it.

711
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't actually put it past her, because if

712
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 1: she could navigate it while she's sleep, she literally could

713
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: navigate the hotel in her sleep. So quick thinking and navigating,

714
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: I started pounding on the door, yelling, which drew the

715
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 1: attention of a guest a few doors down, and my

716
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: nightmare continued as I realized my husband was not answering this.

717
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:24,920
Speaker 1: This guy's am I at?

718
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 5: Where are you at? Hobby?

719
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, hobby, your wife is indeed off. I

720
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 1: ran again, tears streaming down my face, till I eventually

721
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 1: found a conference room, where, in my panic, I dialed emergency,

722
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 1: which subsequently directed me to the front desk, who said, oh,

723
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 1: we've been looking for you where it's like It's like, oh, yeah,

724
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:51,800
Speaker 1: the naked lady around the hotel. You know they should

725
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 1: be I know. I mean, she's easy to spot and

726
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: everyone's looking at her. But I'm also like, it's like

727
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 1: I'm wondering. It's like, oh, yeah, we've been looking for you.

728
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 1: We wanted to know if if you would want to

729
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 1: go on a date.

730
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 3: And she's like, excuse me, I am already hitched. My

731
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 3: husband is right through this door. If you would freaking.

732
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 5: Answer, he's so kind as to open it for me.

733
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:22,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jesus, So she's but ass naked. We've been looking

734
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: for you. Security came and gave me a robe. Shout

735
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,919
Speaker 1: out to security and brought me back to my room,

736
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: which I still didn't have a key for. I tried

737
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: to explain I wasn't a hooker, which I like, if

738
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: you're naked running around a hotel, I get the implication.

739
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 1: I feel like there's more of a chance that she

740
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,800
Speaker 1: might be a lady of the night if she's wearing

741
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: just a robe, you know, yeah, like robe banging on

742
00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:49,959
Speaker 1: some strange man's door.

743
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 3: Maybe there was like some sort like there could be

744
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 3: some sort of altercation like pay me my money no,

745
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 3: and then the guy just locks her out naked Like

746
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 3: that would be terrible, John, It sounds like you've done

747
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,879
Speaker 3: this before. Oh you know, sometimes experience speaks louder than words,

748
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Just kidding.

749
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 1: John has never hired a prostitute as far as I know.

750
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 1: I tried to explain I wasn't a hooker and that

751
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,440
Speaker 1: this really was my room, and somehow convinced them to

752
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 1: let me in, which, like, you know, I don't know

753
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: if if this was a guy and he was banging

754
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:27,319
Speaker 1: naked on some door, I don't know if you would

755
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: be let in, Like I think if John and I

756
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: were banging naked on your door, like I don't, I

757
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 1: don't think you would let us in. I don't think

758
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: any who sells that would be like no, I put

759
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 1: it in the chat. Are they gonna let us say

760
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 1: if we bang the hotel door?

761
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:40,160
Speaker 3: I think not.

762
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 5: I don't think. So.

763
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 1: I started yelling at my husband, who was still a

764
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 1: bit tipsy and confused, like, I'm just imagining you just

765
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,760
Speaker 1: had a great night with your wife, right, you're dead asleep,

766
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 1: and then your wife is naked just like screaming at

767
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 1: you with two security.

768
00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 3: Guards behind you, and You're like, what is going on? Oh?

769
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 5: Seriously, that's that's like a movie that's.

770
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 3: Like, that's a good movie.

771
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 1: This is not real life. This is punishment, this is

772
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: this is like the beginning of Saw. Next thing, you know,

773
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: he's gonna be chained to the bed and he's got

774
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 1: to solve his arm to get away from this awkward,

775
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 1: very weird situation. Thankfully, he told security that I was,

776
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 1: in fact his wife, and I spent the next four

777
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,400
Speaker 1: hours bawling in the washroom while he caught up on

778
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:28,919
Speaker 1: a few more z's to sober up so he could

779
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 1: drive us home.

780
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 5: He's chilling.

781
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, this guy is just like, all right, you

782
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: gonna deal with your shit. I'm gonna go sleep. I

783
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:40,280
Speaker 1: know you just had this traumatic experience. And I woke

784
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 1: up confused these two security guards and my naked wife

785
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: at the door.

786
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 3: But I really, I really got a sleep, man, Like

787
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 3: what is that?

788
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: The morning finally came, and my, oh my, my so

789
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: charming husband was crushed when I informed him we were

790
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,239
Speaker 1: not staying for our luxury breakfast, but getting the hell

791
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 1: out of there and starting our four hour drive home early.

792
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,760
Speaker 1: If this is a five star meal, like, I don't

793
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 1: care if you've sen my ding dong. I want some

794
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,800
Speaker 1: eggs and bacon and a little sausage. Fair enough, a

795
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 1: little sausage, if you know what I mean. Hey, although

796
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: at the time I was mortified, I'm happy to say

797
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,919
Speaker 1: I can finally laugh about it. I do, however, wear

798
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: clothes to bed regardless of where we are, which I

799
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,400
Speaker 1: think is the real lesson of this story, Like, always

800
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 1: be prepared to run naked through somewhere, Just wear some clothes.

801
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm glad that I do not sleep naked.

802
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: That is that is a probe, not sleeping naked listeners.

803
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: I also just want to say we have a bunch

804
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: of new people listening to the podcast.

805
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,719
Speaker 5: We do, right, y'all learn out here? Yeah? Yeah, you

806
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:52,720
Speaker 5: know what screw screw TikTok get.

807
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 3: All I care about is the YouTube two hundred whatever

808
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 3: you guys.

809
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 5: That's that's the only people on it. Maybe podcasts too, maybe?

810
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 4: Yeah.

811
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 3: Should we shout out some of our peeps.

812
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 5: Let's let's shout him out.

813
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 3: Who do we got?

814
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 5: We got a lot?

815
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 3: Do we got? Vanessa h h is for Hella?

816
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 5: Awesome?

817
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 3: Damn straight. Steven Smith.

818
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 5: That's right, Steven Smith.

819
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 3: Next up we got is he Thompson, who is now

820
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 3: currently one of my favorite humans for sure.

821
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 1: Am I the ahole for telling my dad that I

822
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 1: owe him nothing and I don't care about him.

823
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 3: Nope. Why he only birthed you and raised you. Yeah,

824
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 3: he only burned you from his seed, exactly from his babysack. Yeah.

825
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: The gist is this. I lost my mom to a

826
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,959
Speaker 1: long term health issue when I was ten. The cost

827
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: of the treatment drained my parents' finances, and it was

828
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: just my dad and me after my mom died, no

829
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: extended family. Dad started dating when I was twelve when

830
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:49,200
Speaker 1: he met Jane.

831
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 6: Jane.

832
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: After a few months, he told me her son had

833
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 1: a form of brain cancer and was very sick. Man,

834
00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: this guy can't get a break, seriously, God, and that

835
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: they were getting married and he would be helping take

836
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: care of her son. We went from two in a

837
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 1: tiny two bedroom house to four in a tiny two

838
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: bedroom house and me sharing a room with a terminally

839
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 1: ill toddler.

840
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 3: I didn't even know.

841
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: Oh God, this is going in a bad place. Maybe

842
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,520
Speaker 1: on an LLCE. We have to make so many changes.

843
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,839
Speaker 1: No more takeout, which was once a month treat before that.

844
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 1: I had to stop my only extra curricular activity.

845
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,279
Speaker 3: I thought she was going to say, I had to

846
00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:30,800
Speaker 3: stop my only fans God, no friends over because noise

847
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 3: bothered him, no space that was mine, no extra money

848
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,919
Speaker 3: for celebrating birthdays and Christmas. When I was fifteen, Dad

849
00:40:37,920 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 3: and I got into a huge argument because I was

850
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 3: never home and was always saying no to helping Jane

851
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 3: take care of her son. When I told him how

852
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 3: much I hated the situation, he looked me in the

853
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 3: eye and told me to grow up.

854
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I think, like, yeah, to an extent, but

855
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 1: it's like exten you're like fifteen and your life has

856
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: drastically changed. Yeah, And also like I feel like, you know,

857
00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 1: the take take out whatever you can ditch that, maybe

858
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: even the presence, but you need a community, if like friends,

859
00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: and if like she's not able to hang out with

860
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 1: her friend really hurt, Like that's gonna be good for

861
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: her to help where she can. But like at the

862
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: end of the day, like you can't just completely suck

863
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 1: her life away, like still still give her at least

864
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 1: the ability to go outside the home. Yeah, just because

865
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 1: it's going to be I mean, when you don't have

866
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 1: a support network, how can you give you know exactly,

867
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: you don't have enough for yourself. He also told me

868
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 1: that I was old enough to understand that life wasn't

869
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 1: always easy or fun and that a rougher life can

870
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 1: build character.

871
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,640
Speaker 3: Oh no, which is not a build character. I mean,

872
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,320
Speaker 3: I guess that's true, but in the way it is.

873
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

874
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 3: He told me we grew.

875
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: Our family, which was a good thing, and one of

876
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 1: the consequences of that is sometimes having less, but that

877
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: it's worth it for the extra love. I told him,

878
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:50,480
Speaker 1: that's fucking bullshit. He told me I was not his

879
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 1: whole life, and he was not going to stop doing

880
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: what he wanted to do because of me. Then he

881
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: told me to never ever say anything around his step

882
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,520
Speaker 1: son because he was a kid and didn't know I

883
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 1: resent him for being sick, which is true.

884
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:03,359
Speaker 3: Oh he shouldn't, you know, say that another kid.

885
00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 1: After that talk, I was even more distant and left

886
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 1: when I was seventeen right after graduation and couchsurfed until

887
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 1: I went to college. I graduated high school at seventeen

888
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 1: and turned eighteen that October. I didn't stay in touch.

889
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,040
Speaker 1: When I was nineteen, I heard that dad's stepson had

890
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: died in college. I met my wife and got married

891
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: this past June. This then in November, my dad showed

892
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 1: up and told me he wanted to talk.

893
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 3: I shut the door in his face.

894
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 1: Oh man, dang, he kept showing up where I was

895
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,319
Speaker 1: to talk. After getting annoyed with him, I agreed to

896
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 1: meet him for coffee. He told me how he'd ended

897
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: up divorced from Jane and how his stepson had died,

898
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 1: and he looked disappointed when he learned I knew. He

899
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,480
Speaker 1: told me how he'd been struggling a lot and how

900
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: he was hoping I could help him out. I laughed

901
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,840
Speaker 1: in his face and told him he had some nerve. Ope,

902
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 1: you're being a dick, dude. He mentioned that he'd spent

903
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 1: a lot of money on finding me and he wanted

904
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,880
Speaker 1: us to repair things. He also needed my help. I

905
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,279
Speaker 1: told him no way. He became angry and told me

906
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: he was my dad and that he was always there

907
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,200
Speaker 1: for me, and I owed him to my own him nothing,

908
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:03,280
Speaker 1: and I threw most of his words back in the space,

909
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 1: including that he needed to grow up and that he

910
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 1: was not my whole life and I would not stop

911
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,280
Speaker 1: doing what I want. It became a bit of a scene.

912
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 1: He told me, at my age, I should have grown

913
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: more compassion.

914
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 3: Am I the a hole? Fuck?

915
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, yes, all Wow, it's just that's so sad.

916
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 6: That's a lot to hold on to for that long,

917
00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 6: what it was, for what it was, because I think

918
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,360
Speaker 6: it's like he guilted up too, though I definitely agree

919
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 6: that there was, Like you know, he should have allowed

920
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 6: you more freedom to go out and like he should

921
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 6: have figured out basically a better setup where it's like

922
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 6: all right, look, you know it's gonna not be super fun,

923
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 6: but like I'm gonna still work to give you some

924
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 6: some stuff of a quote unquote normal teenage.

925
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,399
Speaker 3: Life or whatever. It wasn't a great situation, don't get

926
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,480
Speaker 3: me wrong for you, but like I think that's you're

927
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 3: harboring too much resentment. I don't know.

928
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 1: Yes, he could have let you maybe have a little

929
00:43:59,719 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 1: bit more reading, more friends, but like, think about it

930
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:02,799
Speaker 1: from his perspective.

931
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, his wife died. Yeah, he tried to find someone.

932
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: He wanted just to love someone, and like all the

933
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,959
Speaker 1: baggage they came with, because he has an own baggage, right, Like, yeah,

934
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,960
Speaker 1: he has a kid too. He is a dead wife

935
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: like that that's tough, right, And then they find out

936
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,759
Speaker 1: that this kid is terminally ill. He just wants to

937
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: support this person that he loves kid dies, his wife

938
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: divorces him, He has nothing. He was just trying to

939
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: do his best with the you know what he's got

940
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: and then like to laugh to just to laugh at

941
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 1: his face. And yeah, it's too too much, dude, It's

942
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 1: way too much. It sound's sound like a total asshole.

943
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:38,800
Speaker 3: She definitely do sound like an asshole.

944
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,320
Speaker 1: I think, like the general thing is just don't be vindictive.

945
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,280
Speaker 1: Her life is worse because she's holding all that pain

946
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 1: and anger, like that's eating in her inside every day

947
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 1: and it shows by how she's acting. If she releases

948
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,800
Speaker 1: that and shows a little compassion, her life will actually improve.

949
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 3: It's way too much. You will do yourself a favor

950
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,040
Speaker 3: by forgiving and trying to work towards and have a

951
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,800
Speaker 3: better relationship with your father, which hopefully who knows the

952
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 3: exact scenario, but it sounds like there could be a

953
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:05,279
Speaker 3: path to that.

954
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, with the dad reaching out, and it's not like

955
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: maybe he was neglectful, but that was out of us,

956
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 1: Like that was situational, not because he was a neglectful person.

957
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:15,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, like it it didn't seem like there was

958
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 3: complaints but kind of before, you know, when when his

959
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 3: wife was still alive and all that stuff.

960
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 1: So Op try to show a little compassion changing well.

961
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 1: But also if you want to change up your own life,

962
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:30,440
Speaker 1: you should go to slash Okop show and submit your story.

963
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 3: Boom, send him in because we read him on the

964
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 3: podcast all the time. Yeah we do, Okayop.

965
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,839
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, welcome to another episode of Okayopy.

966
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 5: Welcome back baby.

967
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 1: I'm Samuel Daughter and I'm John Fry and we're about

968
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,879
Speaker 1: to get into our first story. This is from user

969
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:52,319
Speaker 1: toss away throw It, which I guess is a toss

970
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 1: away throw it maybe a metaphor. Okay, here we go today.

971
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: I effed up by walking naked through a hotel ouch

972
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 1: obligated to say this happened a few years ago. Oh

973
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 1: but lucky me, did I ever duck up? My husband

974
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 1: and I were gifted an amazing night's stay at a

975
00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 1: very expensive hotel. I'm talking thousand dollars, dinner at a

976
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: diamond restaurant, and views from our room that were just

977
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 1: million dollar views.

978
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 5: God man, so fancy as hell.

979
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 1: Fancy as hell for us, this was a once in

980
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 1: a lifetime experience. This is also our very first getaway

981
00:46:30,840 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 1: after having our baby, and I had spent the first

982
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 1: few months breastfeeding, and was in the process of weaning

983
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 1: due to starting new medications soon. But I promise you,

984
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 1: if my baby even made the simplest noise at night,

985
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: I would rush in faster than the speed of lights

986
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:48,720
Speaker 1: to check out my baby, sometimes even before my eyes opened.

987
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 5: She's a good mind. It sounds like she deserved a break.

988
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 1: She definitely deserves a break, and she's a great mom.

989
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:56,240
Speaker 1: But uh, that information is going to become very relevant

990
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 1: very soon. So finally I agreed to go on her

991
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,799
Speaker 1: romantic getaway. You know, like the romantic get away. You

992
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: got the roses, you got the horse drawn cabbage, like.

993
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 5: The heart shaped bed you know what I mean with?

994
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, with like rose petals everywhere.

995
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, or maybe it's like a heart shaped waterbed with

996
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 1: fish inside.

997
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 3: Have you seen those?

998
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:17,840
Speaker 5: Definitely fish inside a waterbed.

999
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 1: Fish inside the waterbed. It's a whole thing. Look it up, people,

1000
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 1: look it up. So finally I agreed to go on

1001
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 1: a romantic getaway, just me and my husband. Oh ye,

1002
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 1: so we left our baby with the grandparents, and off

1003
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 1: we went for our magical evening. We happily drank too

1004
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: much wine, my first time drinking since giving birth, and

1005
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 1: we had the romantic, passionate, slightly intoxicated evening of enjoying

1006
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,880
Speaker 1: every part of each other, and we passed out in

1007
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:50,880
Speaker 1: the warm embrace of one another.

1008
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 5: It's beautiful. It's beautiful story.

1009
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,839
Speaker 1: This is beautiful. Honestly, I feel like I'm about to

1010
00:47:56,000 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: get into some fifty shades of gray territory, but this with.

1011
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 3: The best threesome, fifty shades of real.

1012
00:48:07,640 --> 00:48:07,839
Speaker 5: Dude.

1013
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 1: I love that, Like we're we're we're going snorkelin and

1014
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 1: it's about to get wet and wild and oh yeah.

1015
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 3: Then I woke up.

1016
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:19,840
Speaker 1: A very nice man asked me if I was okay,

1017
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 1: and I looked around, realizing that I was in the lobby.

1018
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 3: I apologize to said oh.

1019
00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:27,759
Speaker 1: Yes, and the concerned man looked at me like I

1020
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:31,200
Speaker 1: was an alien and stepped into the elevator. As the

1021
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 1: door shut, I started to realize I must have slept

1022
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:36,960
Speaker 1: walk which I guess she's doing, Like she's just like

1023
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 1: walking downstairs, Like I get sleepwalking, but sleepwalking out of

1024
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 1: your hotel room, eating yeah, elevator, that seems all. That's

1025
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 1: that's tough, like you can, like, it's impressive that you

1026
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 1: can operate on that much autopilot, Like you're a safe

1027
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,839
Speaker 1: you're getting your z's, you're getting your nine hours, Yet

1028
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 1: you're going down to the lobby like that's something serious,

1029
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:03,920
Speaker 1: Like if only we could just like I don't know,

1030
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: if we could utilize that sleep.

1031
00:49:05,560 --> 00:49:10,800
Speaker 3: Time to work out or exactly do something that show.

1032
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:14,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, record this show in our sleep and in our sleep, baby,

1033
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:18,319
Speaker 1: so I must have sleptwalk It's happened before, not in