1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:01,840 Speaker 1: Can I say something? 2 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 2: Also, while you're like in a service role, like you're 3 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 2: walking around the restaurant, you're like behind the bar and 4 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,120 Speaker 2: you're like, yeah, I. 5 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: Know I look good. 6 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 3: Yeah you're like, yeah, I know that. This is half 7 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:12,639 Speaker 3: the job walking around. 8 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 4: Yes, you can look, I'm working for walking. 9 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 3: I'm here behind the bar. 10 00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 2: A restaurant or bar is a great place to fall 11 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 2: in love. Today, we have a bartender romance that will 12 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 2: make you believe. 13 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: In love again. 14 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,480 Speaker 2: I'm Hopewitdard and welcome to boys over a space where 15 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 2: we're learning and un learning all the myths we're taught 16 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 2: about love and relationships. If you're a loyal listener, you'll 17 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 2: know that. For a while now, I've been working at 18 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 2: a diner in my neighborhood. One of the things I 19 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 2: love most about it is the people, especially my co workers. 20 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 2: You learn so much about people when you work at 21 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 2: a service job, how they interact, what ticks them off, 22 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 2: and how they lay on the charm for tips. It's 23 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 2: also fun to interact with customers, do some innocent flirting 24 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:22,319 Speaker 2: and maybe some not so innocent flirting. I've seen it 25 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,400 Speaker 2: all by now, and there's something so wholesome about seeing 26 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 2: people connect in real, live spaces. When I was talking 27 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 2: about all of this with my producer Emily, she mentioned 28 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 2: that she has friends with an amazing bartender's to lover's story. 29 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,400 Speaker 2: Their names are Mackenzie and Hollis, and we brought them 30 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 2: into the studio recently to talk about their love story 31 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 2: and why a workplace can be a magical, if complicated 32 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 2: place to fall in love. 33 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: Hollis Mackenzie, Welcome to boys over. Hi, Hi, how are you? 34 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: How are you doing? Oh so good? Let's get right 35 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: into it. 36 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 2: Y'all. 37 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,120 Speaker 1: Want to tell me how you met? 38 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 4: Oh? 39 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, gee yeah, We'll tell you how we met. 40 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,959 Speaker 1: Okay, we were co workers. 41 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 3: We were bartenders together at a brewery in Brooklyn. 42 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 2: How long were you working together before you started to 43 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 2: realize you had feelings for each other. 44 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 3: I've been there since April. This was twenty three, twenty 45 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 3: twenty three, I think. And I got there in April. 46 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 3: She showed up in October. And I tell the story 47 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 3: as she was being like shown around the brewery space 48 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 3: and I like leaned over to my fellow bartender, and 49 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 3: I go, who the hell is that? I had the 50 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 3: biggest crush right away, the hugest, the hugest crush. 51 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: I love that. 52 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 3: So I told two other coworkers about the crush, and 53 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 3: then two other people just figured it out by how 54 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 3: I just interact because you were gawking, because it came 55 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,080 Speaker 3: because I was gawky, right, But so I had this 56 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,680 Speaker 3: huge crush for a few months, and then I started 57 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 3: to be a little less obvious about the crush because 58 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,679 Speaker 3: we hung out a lot outside of work, which. 59 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 2: Is already a step to go from coworker to friend, 60 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 2: Like it's hard to sometimes jump that fence. So y'all 61 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:20,799 Speaker 2: became friends first. 62 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess from my side of the story, I 63 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 4: may have picked up on some of the gawking. 64 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 5: Maybe I like to be gk dash. 65 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: Sure, don't, y'all. 66 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 3: I very like, I very intentionally when she was working, 67 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 3: would want to work over on the service Well, well 68 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 3: I could look sexier, yeah, where like she would come 69 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 3: and pick up ranks and I would want to be 70 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 3: down there so I could be like shaking a cocktail 71 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 3: and be like, oh is this expression Martini. 72 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:46,600 Speaker 1: For your table? 73 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 3: Because I knew I look sexy shaky. Yeah. 74 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 2: I also feel like in a service industry gig like 75 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 2: behind a bar on a floor or whatever, your trauma 76 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 2: bonding in a lot of ways. Yeah, And so y'all 77 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:03,920 Speaker 2: are like going through the same like emotional rollercoaster as well. 78 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, so that does something for you too. 79 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 3: We also kind of a famous beer we had at 80 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 3: the time was like a triple I P a high 81 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 3: APV like the. 82 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 5: Same I'd be APV of like a glass of wine. 83 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,840 Speaker 3: Were eight hours on our feet and then the two 84 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 3: of us would say and we had all totally we'd 85 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 3: have two of those, and it'd be like, what's your 86 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 3: relationship with your father? 87 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 5: Like what's your deepest secret? 88 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 2: Like I mean, there's no better bonding than a job 89 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 2: like that, because like you do your job and then 90 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,480 Speaker 2: you like talk about your life, like get to know 91 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 2: each other so well. 92 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 4: Because the trauma bonding of it is very much like please, 93 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,600 Speaker 4: can I look at, like make eye contact with someone totally? 94 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: Can we bond over this easy? 95 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,919 Speaker 4: And because you know you're right, all everybody's name is 96 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 4: on the whiteboard in the break room and see who's working, 97 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 4: and I would like look for her, okay, to see 98 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 4: if she was there. But I very remember early on 99 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 4: having some friends came to the bar and I sat 100 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 4: with them after I had been cut and she worked 101 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,919 Speaker 4: behind the bar. I was a server, and she would 102 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 4: come out to where we were sitting, how we were doing, 103 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 4: to take care of us, and she'd walk away and 104 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,360 Speaker 4: be like, I think that bartender has a crush on me. 105 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 3: There's no reason to be, but I'm just like checking 106 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 3: in because you know she works there's going to make 107 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,360 Speaker 3: sure she has everything she does. 108 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 1: Anyone need a water. 109 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 2: Limen watery, do you want to kiss? 110 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 3: Okay? 111 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 2: But you said you were like pulling back on being 112 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:37,719 Speaker 2: obvious about your crush at some point, Hollis, And why 113 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 2: is that? 114 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,359 Speaker 3: Okay? So I think what happened was right when she 115 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,799 Speaker 3: got there, I had a huge crush. My nasty little 116 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 3: secret is that I did have a non romantic fling 117 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:49,919 Speaker 3: with the coworker before she started. 118 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 1: What is sean romantic fling? 119 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 3: But no, I think no, I just okay, when I 120 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,800 Speaker 3: started this job, I was coming out of a really 121 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:01,839 Speaker 3: long relationship and I had done anything. This other coworker 122 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 3: then had a crush on me, so then I was like, 123 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 3: that's cute, and then was that's preferred to end? And 124 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 3: then they didn't work there anymore by like a little 125 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 3: bit before Christmas, Like you started in October. 126 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 2: I don't. 127 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 3: I don't remembers. 128 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 4: There was a point where all three of us were 129 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 4: there and it was really fun to find out that 130 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 4: there was like something going on between these two people 131 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 4: and I was just a. 132 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 5: Third party to it. 133 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 4: But then as I was starting to realize, like, oh, 134 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 4: I think Hollis might like me mm hmm. This other 135 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 4: person I think knew that too and would also take 136 00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 4: it out on me. So it was just a little like, oh, 137 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 4: I think I think it's for the best that she 138 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 4: maybe there anymore. 139 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 3: It was over, it was done. But then I was like, 140 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 3: I need to kind of be normal. I can't get 141 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 3: this reputation that's not my thing. 142 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 4: Unlike other workplaces, when you walk into like an industry role, 143 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,160 Speaker 4: I'm probably like other places, there's such a lore that 144 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 4: comes with like the people who have been there for 145 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 4: a long time, certain manager, who has dated, who has 146 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 4: slept together, all of that. 147 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 5: Stuff, and I'm desperate for that kind of information. 148 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: Yay, okay. 149 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 5: So, like had started there and was really quiet and 150 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 5: really liked her, like. 151 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 4: As just this person really gets me, Like I really 152 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 4: like hanging out with this person, but then slowly found 153 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 4: out the lore of like the other person, which had 154 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 4: obviously created an idea in my man's like, well, this 155 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 4: is the womanizer part. 156 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 3: Which I couldn't be far from the true, which couldn't 157 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,119 Speaker 3: be for the tube. But then also at this point, 158 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 3: like things were coming to a head, like she knew 159 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 3: I had a crush, and then I was starting to 160 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 3: think that she was sort of laying it on as well. 161 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 4: I think I was also laying it on very thick 162 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 4: at times we were working, and it was coming from 163 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 4: another conversation that I had had with someone else about 164 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 4: like crushes a friend who just always seems to be 165 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 4: having to explain to people who have crushes on her 166 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 4: that she doesn't feel the same way, okay, And I 167 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 4: came in to work just being like I don't think 168 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 4: every anyone's had a crush on me like that. I 169 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 4: don't think very loudly in front of her, like I 170 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 4: don't think anyone's ever had a crush on it, No 171 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 4: one ever had a crush on me? 172 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, dating her like sure. And then there's a night 173 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 3: where we're like out, just the two of us are 174 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 3: hanging out, like we've had a couple drinks at work, 175 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 3: and now we're at Location two and we're sitting there 176 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 3: and I bring it back up and we've been there 177 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 3: a couple of times. So then I choose to start 178 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 3: interacting with people at the bar and be like, God, 179 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,199 Speaker 3: this girl thinks no one's ever had a crush on her. Crazy, 180 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 3: someone's got up because like everyone in this room, someone 181 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 3: has had a crush on them at some point. Totally 182 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 3: we don't know. That's literally why they're crushes. And I 183 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 3: was so locked in. I was like, I was like, oh, 184 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 3: you got to buckle down and play the long game 185 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 3: with this girl. She's only been here for a couple 186 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 3: of months. She can't know how much of a crush 187 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 3: you have on her. But then this Australian woman next 188 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,600 Speaker 3: to us that night, I was like, gus ever had 189 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 3: a crush on her? And that woman's answer was like, 190 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 3: oh did you sleeping together? 191 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 4: Called out immediate the really silenced to me. I never 192 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 4: begged the question again. But then also, my dirty little 193 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 4: secret while all of this is going on is I 194 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 4: was seeing someone else. 195 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,720 Speaker 5: So it was like both of us had our reasons 196 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 5: to like, I have a question. 197 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, McKinzie, you were seeing women already. 198 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 4: I had never had any sort of long term relationships 199 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 4: hip with a woman. Okay, so I was seeing a man, 200 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:34,880 Speaker 4: all right? 201 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:35,200 Speaker 3: Sure? 202 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 4: So yeah, sexuality wise, that was like a lingering thing 203 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,720 Speaker 4: of like, oh wait, it's different when I talk to 204 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:43,559 Speaker 4: a woman. 205 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: Did you know that she was seeing somebody else? 206 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 3: So I'll walk you through the night we first kissed. 207 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 3: At this point, like I host trivia at the bar, 208 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 3: A bunch of coworkers were all gonna come. So she 209 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 3: was like, oh, I'll come. So she got off work early, 210 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 3: she went home and she wasn't there yet the table coworkers. 211 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 3: I was kind of bummed. She comes in like a 212 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 3: couple of minutes late, skirt, she's done her hair like, 213 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 3: and I was like, that's a play. And so she 214 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 3: sits there and like at one point I needed to 215 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 3: know like a Landa Deale Ray song, and I knew 216 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,360 Speaker 3: she liked Lana, so I leaned and I was like, oh, 217 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,680 Speaker 3: would be a good Lana del Ray question? I can ask, 218 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 3: Like I'm you're like in her ear again. And so 219 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,319 Speaker 3: we went out with a bunch of coworkers and like 220 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 3: everyone else is like smoking, hanging, drinking, We're staying out. 221 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 3: We're shouldn't be staying out. And then I'm like, okay, 222 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go get on my bus, I'm gonna go home. 223 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 3: And we're like really close to each other and like 224 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 3: we're definitely kind of about to kiss, and she's like, 225 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 3: let's go inside and talk and I was like okay, 226 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 3: so we go inside. She's like, I'm in a bit 227 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 3: of a situationship, but like I've been cheated on in 228 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 3: my long term relationship. I knew that was a part 229 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,679 Speaker 3: of your past, so we're not playing like that. So 230 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 3: I was like, how serious is it? And she's like, 231 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 3: I feel comfortable doing like whatever. 232 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: That's what she said. That's so funny. 233 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 3: She's comfortable, like yeah, save me actually. 234 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 2: Right right, okay, wait, walk me through your first kiss, 235 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,680 Speaker 2: Like who leaned in? 236 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,439 Speaker 1: How did it happen? What happened? 237 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:11,439 Speaker 4: I had asked if she wanted a nightcap, and okay, 238 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,000 Speaker 4: we walked in and it was one of those things 239 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 4: where I like just got so I think I have 240 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,440 Speaker 4: a crush on you and I don't know, but I 241 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 4: mean this other thing I did. Yeah, And as we 242 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,080 Speaker 4: were leaving, I think I asked if it was okay 243 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,680 Speaker 4: if I so she'd kind of set everything up to 244 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 4: make me feel comfortable, to make the move because I 245 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 4: disappointed in all the. 246 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 3: Work for months. Yeah, so I think it was only fair. 247 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,120 Speaker 3: She's the one who goes, do you want to kiss me? 248 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 3: And I was like I. 249 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 2: Would, oh yeah, like a goofy sound. 250 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,000 Speaker 3: So we kissed and it was great, and then like 251 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 3: pushed away from the bus stop and kissed a little 252 00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 3: bit more, and the bus actually had great timing to 253 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 3: pull up kind of quickly, so it was a great 254 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 3: kiss great, like unbelievable butterflies, like freaking out. I get 255 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,840 Speaker 3: on my bus, I'm like skipping to the back and 256 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 3: then I send a text. I was like, I have 257 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 3: to be cool and smooth, and my text was so 258 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 3: glad I didn't get on that first bus because there's 259 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:16,439 Speaker 3: a bus earlier. But I was like immediately like end game, baby, right, 260 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 3: we got it. We've locked it down. I had worked 261 00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:35,959 Speaker 3: the next day. I came running in and go to 262 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 3: our coworker Danny, who was the other person that you 263 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 3: and I was like. 264 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 2: There's nothing better than telling your coworking out date behind 265 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:42,720 Speaker 2: the bar, and. 266 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:45,160 Speaker 3: I'm like we're like that. They're like bouncing to jumping, 267 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 3: and she's like's she working? He's like crazy energy for 268 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 3: me to walk. 269 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 4: I was like, oh, I know everyone knows rightly personal 270 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:57,600 Speaker 4: thing about me. 271 00:12:59,440 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 1: Potted it. 272 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 3: Tell me how to progress? 273 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 274 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,079 Speaker 4: Well, I walked away from the bust being like, oh 275 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 4: my god, I was avoidant. 276 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 5: That was I was so scared about it had done. 277 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,959 Speaker 1: Yeah, just tell me more about that. 278 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 4: Well, it was just like, oh, this is somebody I 279 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 4: work with, Like what if my feelings are not as intense. 280 00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 5: It's the first woman I had been. 281 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 4: Like into in a way that felt like, well, if 282 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 4: this is the person that I end up with, I 283 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 4: have to tell everyone that I'm into women. And like 284 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 4: it was just a chain reaction that felt really scary 285 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 4: and then was like scary. 286 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 5: Too good to be because all of it felt like 287 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:39,000 Speaker 5: a movie. 288 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 4: I don't know, it felt so like it was very 289 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,080 Speaker 4: exciting but really nerve wracking because work was such a 290 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 4: separate world from the rest of my life that it 291 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 4: just was something that was happening at work and I 292 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 4: could go home or I could go see my friends, 293 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:59,079 Speaker 4: and it just kind of existed elsewhere where. It was like, oh, 294 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 4: this is clearly now pouring into the rest of my 295 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 4: life and I haven't I haven't caught a couple of 296 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 4: people up on it. So I think there was that 297 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:11,560 Speaker 4: that it was I was scared of. I was scared. 298 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,959 Speaker 4: I was just a little girl and I was scared. 299 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,440 Speaker 1: No, it makes sense. When did you sort of like 300 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:18,920 Speaker 1: bring those two worlds together. 301 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 4: I think there was like for about two weeks or so. 302 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 4: First I was really like, Okay, but what if I 303 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 4: just what if I just leaned in? 304 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 5: What if I did this for the plot? 305 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: What if I just leaned into this. 306 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:30,520 Speaker 3: I'm kind of cute, so Frey girl to kiss at work? 307 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: Yea, yeah, So. 308 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 4: About two weeks we had like we'd go to work 309 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 4: and then after work we would go get a drink elsewhere, 310 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 4: and then we'd like hang out and then make out 311 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 4: all night and then like pot at yeah four or 312 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 4: five am, go back to work the next day. 313 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 3: All we ever did was kiss until like we were 314 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:51,440 Speaker 3: only seeing each other, huh. But we would stay out 315 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 3: till like five or six in the morning, like talking, 316 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 3: and there was always this joke that would be like 317 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 3: the birds would be up before we went to sleep, 318 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 3: because we'd like hear the birds go and we'd be like. 319 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: We have to be working. Bird start turbin totally. 320 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 3: But we very much like in terms of like the 321 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 3: slope burn, like we never went home with each other, 322 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 3: Like it was a slope burn. 323 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,520 Speaker 4: And at the end of those two weeks, I think 324 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 4: I just had bit off way more than I could chew. 325 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,480 Speaker 4: And it's like, well, this was the most recent thing, 326 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 4: So I'm gonna end this and told her like I 327 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 4: just need some time. 328 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,600 Speaker 5: I just need a beat. I just need a little 329 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 5: bit of time. You tried to end it, tried to 330 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,320 Speaker 5: kind of okay, you. 331 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: Did end it. 332 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 3: We get she did, so we go, we always sit down. 333 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 3: She's like, I need to night where we can just 334 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 3: be friends. So we go and we sit and we 335 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,360 Speaker 3: talk and she's like, I think this is like just 336 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 3: too much for me. It was. It was an awful 337 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 3: night for me, Like it was awful and I was 338 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 3: just like really just trying to communicate really hard, like 339 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 3: I don't know what this is. It feels so real 340 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,640 Speaker 3: to me though, and it feels really serious. But like, 341 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 3: you do what you need to do and I'll give 342 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,360 Speaker 3: you space. So like gave her space. Like I think 343 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 3: it was like two weeks or so. Then we didn't 344 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,040 Speaker 3: really hang out. Actually, work schedule shaped out, we didn't 345 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 3: each other that much at work. 346 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 5: But I'm then like devastating dark day. 347 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 2: So y'all basically take two weeks of like being friends. 348 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 2: But it's weird, and so you're a feeling sad. You're 349 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 2: comparing yourself, You're thinking, like what the fuck and where 350 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 2: are you? 351 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,360 Speaker 4: God, I don't know how much I want toying myself 352 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 4: in just like drinking. Okay, okay, I'm being as avoiding 353 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 4: all of. 354 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:33,560 Speaker 5: It as much as possible. It's not I've never been 355 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 5: in that position. 356 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 4: Before, the position of of like I've always been the 357 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 4: one that was rejected. I don't think i'd ever been 358 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 4: the one doing the rejecting. And it felt so crazy 359 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 4: to be doing that to someone who I really cared about, 360 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,240 Speaker 4: who I had a lot of very confusing feelings about. 361 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 3: So at this point, like I hadn't aally seen it 362 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 3: in a week, I'm just like very bummed. And it's 363 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 3: a Friday night. I'm at work, and like I text 364 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 3: my friend, I'm like, can you like keep taking care 365 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 3: of my dog tonight? I need to just go like 366 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 3: have a night to myself. I'm gonna go to the movies. 367 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go see Challengers Buy Myself on a Friday night. 368 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 3: That is dog, I'm so excited I go to the movies. 369 00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 3: I also get movies by myself. 370 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 1: Movies on a Friday night by yourself. 371 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 3: And it's challenging movie, and I was like I should 372 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 3: I would have been a room full of horny people 373 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 3: and just be alone. 374 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, you. 375 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 3: Have nothing better. So I remember so specifically, I'm over 376 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 3: at like the service well making drinks and I put 377 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,959 Speaker 3: it down. Another coworker asked the two of us like, oh, 378 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,600 Speaker 3: what are you all doing tonight? And I was like, Oh, 379 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to the movies and she's like, oh, yeah, 380 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 3: we are going to see its. Like oh, I'm gonna 381 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,040 Speaker 3: go see Challengers and her face she's like, oh yeah, 382 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,480 Speaker 3: what time? And I was like six thirty whatever, eight 383 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 3: thirty whatever at Williams Break Cinema and she goes. She's 384 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 3: like yeah, me too. I like the coworker walks away, 385 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,919 Speaker 3: and I like very seriously and was for I'm like, 386 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 3: who are you going with? And if you're going with someone, 387 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:17,399 Speaker 3: then I'm just not gonna go yeah, and she's like no, 388 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 3: I'm just going with friends. And but then like you, 389 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,000 Speaker 3: I rolled it away. That's like I would never go 390 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:25,720 Speaker 3: to the movies with him and I'm like, okay, so 391 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,960 Speaker 3: there's a chance. So my sadness completely shifts to confidence 392 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 3: because then she gets jealous. It's like there's something that 393 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,040 Speaker 3: happens over there when she finds out that I'm going 394 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 3: to the movies. Okay, but I was in a tank 395 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 3: time and she was busy and the tank top kept 396 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,200 Speaker 3: falling off my shoulder, classic while I was like sitting 397 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,639 Speaker 3: and having my beer after work, and I was like, 398 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 3: I'm off to Challengers now, And she showed up a 399 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 3: little bit after me, and I was like, oh, hey, 400 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,399 Speaker 3: like you're here with your friends, I think, and I'm like, 401 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 3: so cool because the way how I felt it, the 402 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 3: reason I felt so cool was because I was like, 403 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:03,600 Speaker 3: the Universe is sending you the world's biggest signal. I'm 404 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 3: choosing to go to Challengers by myself on a Friday night, 405 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:11,679 Speaker 3: and you just happen to have tickets to the same movie. 406 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 3: It's crazy. I don't have to universea on my son. 407 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:20,920 Speaker 4: That is about three people. I was in a love 408 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 4: triangle somehow. I I've never. 409 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 5: I'm like, I am, I'm sorry. 410 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 3: I love that. 411 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 1: No, this story is crazy. 412 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 2: Okay, so you go to Challengers us she brings you together. 413 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:50,760 Speaker 4: Immediately behind, like she's saying in the same rope, I'm 414 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 4: not immediately behind, but I could like turn around her. 415 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,439 Speaker 3: Chair like ten rows behind. Someone passes out in the 416 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,760 Speaker 3: middle of the movie, so all the lights come up, 417 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 3: so she turns around and she texts me like what's 418 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 3: going on. I'm like, it's right next to me, Like, 419 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 3: don't worry, baby, I've got it. So when the movie's over, 420 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 3: I leave. I start walking like I'm gonna go home, 421 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 3: because she We're at the point where she asked for 422 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 3: a little bit a distance, but I'm like staring at 423 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,640 Speaker 3: the phone and I get it. We're gonna go grab 424 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,879 Speaker 3: drinks and I go to and then at the end 425 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:20,680 Speaker 3: of the night, I say goodbye to Mackenzie and friends, 426 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 3: and I'm like, I'm off to catch my bus. And 427 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 3: again I'm walking and I'm looking at my phone. I'm like, 428 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,600 Speaker 3: text me, text me, I fucking dare you? So then 429 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 3: she texted me we meet at the bus stop again. 430 00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 3: We always re meet at this bus stop. 431 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,400 Speaker 1: It's cute. It's so cute. 432 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,800 Speaker 3: We get there and it's still like I'm thinking, like 433 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,080 Speaker 3: the universe is telling us we have to date. We 434 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,360 Speaker 3: got to get to the same. 435 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,160 Speaker 2: Movie, like nothing is more powerful than a movie ticket, 436 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 2: like serendipitous. 437 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,199 Speaker 3: And she tells me, I don't really believe in universal signs. 438 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,119 Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm out. I'm so bad. That was a lie. 439 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,199 Speaker 3: Sometimes you have to protect yourself, protect yourself. So tell me. 440 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,360 Speaker 1: So you start after challengers, you start seeing each other. 441 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:06,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, she did not kiss me then challenge. Yeah, yeah 442 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 3: a choice. Yeah, kind of crazy kissing me challenges. But 443 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,119 Speaker 3: she did buy me and Bacon egg and choose the 444 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 3: next morning, which, wow, a New York kiss. 445 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, when did you finally sort of say like I'm 446 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,960 Speaker 2: gonna see what happens with this. I'm gonna accept this. 447 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 2: I'm gonna let this in. 448 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,119 Speaker 3: I can look at the day I went to the 449 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,919 Speaker 3: Liberty game because it's. 450 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,600 Speaker 1: Probably like this is so New York. 451 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:35,800 Speaker 3: So Bacon against stop Liberty game at a Liberty game, 452 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,119 Speaker 3: and I was going on with all my friends like 453 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,000 Speaker 3: talking about her, and and they were like, a, y'll 454 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 3: see each other, like we're having yourself together, like we're 455 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,960 Speaker 3: just kissing. I'm like, but I'm so confident, like I'm 456 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 3: gonna like lock it up. I've got this, Like that 457 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 3: thing's gonna end, Like don't y'all worry and everyone was 458 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 3: hearing Mitters like you've got this. She sounds incredible. And 459 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 3: I'm on my bus back from the Liberty game and 460 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 3: I get like a tex She's like, what are you doing? 461 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 3: And then I'm like nothing. She goes like, well, we'll 462 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 3: make it even more Brooklyn. She's like, I'm saying that 463 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 3: they knows I'm having to drink and I come over 464 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,639 Speaker 3: and I was like, I was like, hell, yeah, you 465 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 3: could come over, girly cute. 466 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 4: This is like June first, and it was just like 467 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 4: Happy Pride. 468 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 3: It was literally drunk midnight into Pride. Yeah. 469 00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,760 Speaker 4: I was like, I guess it's I guess I have 470 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,639 Speaker 4: to it tis the season. 471 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 3: And it was two hours. I was two hours late 472 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 3: to work the next day because she was like, She's like, 473 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 3: we have to go, and I was like I could 474 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 3: kill a rat's ass about being on types of work. 475 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 3: I was like, I've got it. I locked it down. 476 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,280 Speaker 5: Work is no longer. 477 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,920 Speaker 3: So we call and served its purpose and I walk 478 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,159 Speaker 3: in and I put my back up and one of 479 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,640 Speaker 3: the coworkers that has known about the crush forever she looks, 480 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 3: She's like, you are so late, and I go but 481 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 3: and she goes, everyone's so happy for you. Everyone's like, 482 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 3: let that girl be two hours late. 483 00:22:58,680 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 2: Day. 484 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,120 Speaker 3: She's been working for months souther time. 485 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 2: Mackenzie, you said your world's hadn't collided yet. Yeah, Like 486 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,119 Speaker 2: about dating a woman, telling your friends you were going 487 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:25,800 Speaker 2: to date a woman? 488 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:26,880 Speaker 1: Did that feel scary? 489 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:28,000 Speaker 3: Friends? 490 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:28,359 Speaker 2: No? 491 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 4: I mean I'm going to say about ninety percent of 492 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 4: the people, ninety eight percent of the people that I 493 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,240 Speaker 4: was like, I'm dating a woman now, they went, yeah, 494 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,560 Speaker 4: we always saw that coming. 495 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 5: But it was No, it wasn't difficult to tell my friends. 496 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 3: It was fun. 497 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,919 Speaker 4: But then I think I when I did start telling friends, 498 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,440 Speaker 4: like there's this girl I work with, like she wants 499 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 4: to take me on a date, Like listen to all 500 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 4: of the things that we're going to do on this date, 501 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 4: they were all so excited for me. I think I 502 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,600 Speaker 4: had I realized, in telling them so much later how 503 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 4: much I had missed out of like the advice and 504 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,120 Speaker 4: the help, Like maybe I wouldn't have spiraled into like 505 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,919 Speaker 4: a two week binge of self hatred. Had I had 506 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 4: a friends being like, it's not that, like it's gonna 507 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,199 Speaker 4: be okay, and like, I don't know, just had I 508 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 4: had a friend to share those things, because. 509 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,040 Speaker 3: I would like ask you that, like have you told anyone? 510 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,919 Speaker 3: Are you talking to anyone about this? And she'd be 511 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 3: like no, And I'm like this is like I mean, 512 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 3: like not even the queer stuff, but the idea of 513 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,880 Speaker 3: us also being workers being friends just like this sort 514 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:37,439 Speaker 3: of thing that's going on. I was I was only 515 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,240 Speaker 3: talking about it like my poor like my best friend 516 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 3: would be like walk our dogs together every morning. It 517 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 3: was every morning, like you want to hear the ladies 518 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,680 Speaker 3: about McKenzie. So like I was downloading with the girls 519 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 3: every chance I got, which helps, and like yeah, I 520 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,359 Speaker 3: always I was like you gotta. 521 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,840 Speaker 4: Because I mean like I just had always refrained from 522 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,800 Speaker 4: talking about my love life because so often it was. 523 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,920 Speaker 5: With men who I always. 524 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,359 Speaker 4: Was like, you know, she was going to drop any moment, 525 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,399 Speaker 4: like there's just no reason for me to get my 526 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,200 Speaker 4: hopes up, or like there's no reason for me to. 527 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 5: Talk about it in a pot. 528 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,800 Speaker 4: I think I would get very superstitious about like if 529 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 4: I talk about this positively, if I get too excited, 530 00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:21,159 Speaker 4: then like surefire away that it's going too and or 531 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 4: that is. 532 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:27,400 Speaker 3: Going pretty fabulous people before can you tell me. 533 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,840 Speaker 1: So work was a safe place for it or did 534 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 1: you have to be secretive about it? 535 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:32,800 Speaker 3: What was that? Like? 536 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 5: What was an interesting place for it? It wasn't unsafe. 537 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 4: There were strict rules regarding like a manager and a 538 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:44,400 Speaker 4: bartender doing it, but there weren't very many hard and. 539 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 5: Fast rules about like coworkers. 540 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 4: I think what was difficult for me was it was 541 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:52,399 Speaker 4: just first relationship with a woman, and there was like 542 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:53,880 Speaker 4: I don't want my. 543 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 5: Manager to. 544 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 4: I don't want like lud jokes to be made, or 545 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,920 Speaker 4: like it was bold of me to have a relationship 546 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 4: in a workplace and then be like but I don't 547 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:06,359 Speaker 4: want to talk. 548 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:10,920 Speaker 3: About it here, like that crosses a lie. 549 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,439 Speaker 5: Yeah. 550 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 4: I was more just like there were certain people I 551 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 4: didn't want to know, but then they ended up knowing. 552 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 3: One thing with me, Like when we did start and 553 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 3: it was kind of private, she was want to keep 554 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,040 Speaker 3: a little more private. I had a difficult time with 555 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,159 Speaker 3: it being too too private, So I pushed back a 556 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,639 Speaker 3: little bit, like we need to tell the coworkers that 557 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 3: are our friends. I don't feel comfortable being too much 558 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,439 Speaker 3: of a secret because I at that point had been 559 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,880 Speaker 3: out for like ten years. But that was just then 560 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,640 Speaker 3: me like learn just being more patient. 561 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 1: How did you navigate that? Did you tell your coworkers? 562 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 4: Our friends at. 563 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 3: This point didn't know because I was so I had 564 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 3: been in such a crush unfortunately our our like GM 565 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:57,800 Speaker 3: found out in a way regular do a regular in 566 00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:59,480 Speaker 3: a way we didn't love. Yeah, but like. 567 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 5: That's fine, Like it is fine. 568 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:06,919 Speaker 4: It's trusted regular who like love him but loves to 569 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 4: get the tea on the workplace. 570 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 2: Sometimes your life in the best way, yea. 571 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:14,880 Speaker 1: Sometimes they become an op. 572 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,920 Speaker 3: It's so, it's so true. 573 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 5: And we didn't comp his beer that. 574 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,679 Speaker 2: I'm sure they did it in such a like like 575 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:26,840 Speaker 2: accidental way. 576 00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:33,560 Speaker 3: It was like everyone know. I was like, oh, you 577 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 3: know in like Macaholis and them and that, And I 578 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 3: was like, honey, she don't know yet, listen, but we love. 579 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,640 Speaker 5: I was dramatic about it. I was. I was over 580 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:45,720 Speaker 5: the top dramatic. 581 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,280 Speaker 4: About it because I was like, because my parents don't 582 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:54,960 Speaker 4: even know, completely fair, that's an intense experience. Yeah it is. 583 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,200 Speaker 4: It's and then like it only led to a slippery 584 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 4: slope when she was fired. 585 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 3: What happens I get fired? Like not like we kissed 586 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 3: back in like April. I didn't get fired to like January. Okay, 587 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 3: it was a while, but like I spoke my mind, 588 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,679 Speaker 3: a woman spoke her mind. Let me tell you. 589 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 4: This. 590 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,120 Speaker 3: I thought I was standing up for the little man, 591 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,400 Speaker 3: but I spoke my mind and they were like, she's 592 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,199 Speaker 3: gotta go, which is fine. I'm much happier. Like it 593 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,919 Speaker 3: was a hard adjustment at first because we did always 594 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,800 Speaker 3: have this built in we will see each other at work. 595 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,119 Speaker 1: How did it all shake out? 596 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,679 Speaker 2: Though, Like, how did your relationship change when you stopped 597 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:37,320 Speaker 2: working together? 598 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 5: It was just shitty. I think that's the thing that's. 599 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 4: With her, like besides just being in Like obviously I'm 600 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 4: biased because I was in a relationship with her and 601 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 4: she showed me favor, but like as objective as I 602 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 4: can be, she's a really great person to work with 603 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,440 Speaker 4: because she's a natural leader, but is great at getting 604 00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 4: everyone on the same like, does not lead from a 605 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 4: place of being above like is of the people and 606 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:08,960 Speaker 4: is a natural educator and a easy fun person to 607 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:12,680 Speaker 4: talk to. Doesn't take herself too seriously. Like I obviously 608 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,840 Speaker 4: miss working with my girlfriend because it made life so 609 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 4: much easier because she gets to hang out with them 610 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 4: all the time. Yeah, probably for the best, because it's 611 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 4: you know now have some mystery and are able to 612 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 4: talk about some part of our day that that the 613 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 4: other one wasn't there for. 614 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 5: But ultimately, like I just really liked working with her 615 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,280 Speaker 5: at so great idea and her. 616 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 2: What did being coworkers teach you about each other that 617 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 2: helps you in your relationship? 618 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 5: Oh god, I. 619 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,320 Speaker 3: Think you had said earlier. When you are working in 620 00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:48,680 Speaker 3: bars and workspace especially, you see so much of people. 621 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:53,520 Speaker 3: So like I'd already seen her on her worst days, 622 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,400 Speaker 3: like being angry, or just like we're working with people 623 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 3: and they can be rude and just we can lose 624 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,000 Speaker 3: our patience so we can be frustrated, or you could 625 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,719 Speaker 3: be really tired, but you still have to show up 626 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,760 Speaker 3: to work every day. We could just see all every 627 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 3: side of each other. I think in a way that 628 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,480 Speaker 3: was really intimate. Where if we were just like doing 629 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,160 Speaker 3: like a click clock of the computer job and then 630 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,520 Speaker 3: like I learned more about you, it could have been 631 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 3: it would have been more learning, I guess. 632 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 1: So would you say you're pro dating co workers? 633 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,200 Speaker 2: Do you think it's a app Yes? 634 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 5: I guess yes. 635 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 4: I think ultimately, I think, especially if you're in an industry, 636 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:33,640 Speaker 4: restaurant industry space you gotta do it. 637 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, I have to do it. 638 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 3: I famously like to. This was even. 639 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 4: Before have done it and terrible things I like to. 640 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,600 Speaker 3: I famously love to walk around and tell people all 641 00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:47,960 Speaker 3: the time, I'm like, you gotta kiss your crush, Like 642 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 3: if people have advice for me. And this was even 643 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 3: before things like even existed. My general advice was always 644 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,960 Speaker 3: kiss your crush. You'll never know just to do whatever. 645 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 3: So we gotta crush on someone at work. You should 646 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 3: go back to the kegroam, and you should make out 647 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:12,720 Speaker 3: sometimes like we did. That is so amazing. I love that. 648 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 2: My last question, my last question for y'all, what is 649 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,200 Speaker 2: one thing you've had to unlearn about love? 650 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 3: I don't think you need to be ready to be 651 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 3: in a relationship and to have love. I think that 652 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 3: there's this idea that people be like, I'm just not 653 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:29,640 Speaker 3: in the right place right now, where like I don't 654 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,080 Speaker 3: feel ready or I have a lot going on. We 655 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 3: will always have a lot going on, We will always 656 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 3: be working on ourselves. Those things are always going to 657 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 3: be constant. The thing that you want is right there, 658 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:45,000 Speaker 3: take it and then make it work. Don't feel like 659 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 3: you need to be ready for it. 660 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 6: Yeah, you think, especially for I mean when I think 661 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,600 Speaker 6: about when we got together and where I was at, 662 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 6: I think that was my biggest excuse is like I'm 663 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 6: not ready, I'm not a full person, yeah, or like 664 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,880 Speaker 6: I haven't figured these things out where I'm avoid it 665 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:02,480 Speaker 6: with this stuff, I think, Yeah, you don't have to 666 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 6: be ready for it. If it's there and you really 667 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 6: like it, you can lean into it like a coworker. 668 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:14,160 Speaker 3: Wow. 669 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,520 Speaker 2: I gotta be honest, I'm a little jealous of the 670 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:22,240 Speaker 2: love between these two. As I'm looking to pursue healthier relationships, 671 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 2: I'm finding stories like these inspiring. If you had fun 672 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:29,880 Speaker 2: listening to Mackenzie and Hollis and are based in New York. 673 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 2: They host bar trivia together these days, follow Pop Dot 674 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 2: Quiz Party to catch them around the city, and you 675 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 2: can catch Hollis with her improv team Bruv at UCB. 676 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,160 Speaker 2: Thank you so much Mackenzie and Hollis for letting us 677 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 2: in on your story, and thanks everyone for listening. 678 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,560 Speaker 1: I'll talk to y'all next week. 679 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 2: Boy Sover is a production of iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host, Hopewordard. 680 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,960 Speaker 2: Our executive producers are Christina Everett and Julie Pinero. Our 681 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 2: supervising producer is Emily Meronoff. Our assistant producer is Logan Palau. 682 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 2: Engineering by Bahid Fraser and mixing and mastering by Abu Zafar. 683 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 2: If you liked this episode, please tell a friend and 684 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,480 Speaker 2: don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Boys Sober 685 00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,280 Speaker 2: on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get 686 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 2: your favorite shows.