WEBVTT - Why is Ryan ghosting Jasmine?

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<v Speaker 1>First Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys

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<v Speaker 1>online at Advocates Law dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>Jasmine is on the phone today for a first date

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<v Speaker 2>follow up and she's getting ghosted by a dude named Ryan.

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<v Speaker 2>So in a few minutes, we're gonna call him see

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<v Speaker 2>if he'll tell us why he's ghosting her and maybe

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<v Speaker 2>get her another date if she still wants one. But first, Jasmine,

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<v Speaker 2>how long has it been since you heard from Ryan?

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<v Speaker 2>It's been a week, okay, So have you reached out

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<v Speaker 2>to him? And that week about how many times.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you think I've reached out to him? Embarrassingly? Probably

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<v Speaker 3>over twenty times.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, that's a lot. Don't be embarrassed. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think that.

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<v Speaker 4>We can all say that that ghosting is definitely happening here.

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<v Speaker 4>Then yeah, unless he lost his phone.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, both, Like who can survive without a phone nowadays?

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<v Speaker 5>That's true.

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<v Speaker 2>What were the twenty texts or calls?

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<v Speaker 5>Like, what did you say?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well, I basically it was it was like more

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<v Speaker 3>than twenty calls and then just a text. Has just

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<v Speaker 3>been kind of like I kind of just been kind

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<v Speaker 3>of writing paragraphs only because him and I basically met

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<v Speaker 3>we spoke on this app and then before a meeting,

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<v Speaker 3>we were just he was like hyping me up and

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<v Speaker 3>just it was almost like love bombing, to be honest,

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<v Speaker 3>now that I think about it, and now that I've

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<v Speaker 3>spoken to my friends on it, but he kind of

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<v Speaker 3>promised me a lot of things, and I guess I

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<v Speaker 3>was just being really vulnerable. But before we met, he

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<v Speaker 3>was telling me how pretty I was, and we were

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<v Speaker 3>going to go to this place and we're going to

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<v Speaker 3>go to that place. And then when I met him,

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<v Speaker 3>he was so incredible, so like everything I could even

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<v Speaker 3>ask for I checked off, Like I don't ever, I

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<v Speaker 3>don't even know if people have to check box list.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't, but if I were to have one, he's

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<v Speaker 3>definitely that person. And he was witty, which is what

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<v Speaker 3>I love so much. Yeah, when we met at this

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<v Speaker 3>top bugs bar, and I was just super excited about everything.

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<v Speaker 3>He paid for the check of course, you know, like

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<v Speaker 3>any gentleman would, and yeah, I asked him if she

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<v Speaker 3>was okay after that and absolutely nothing. But before then

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<v Speaker 3>before we were the day, everything we're just like so

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<v Speaker 3>many checks. It was like a lot. Like I said,

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<v Speaker 3>it was like love bombing. And then we go on

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<v Speaker 3>this date and it's the greatest time of my life.

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<v Speaker 3>And then I was like okay, like you know, I

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<v Speaker 3>was going to wait to see if he wanted to

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<v Speaker 3>go ahead and give me a call, because that's like

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<v Speaker 3>what you do. But he took too long. I was

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<v Speaker 3>like hey, like are you okay? And then I was

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<v Speaker 3>just like thanks for the night. And then after that,

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<v Speaker 3>I've just been like, what's going on?

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<v Speaker 4>So while you were on the date at the restaurant,

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<v Speaker 4>it was so perfect, Like can you tell us about that?

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<v Speaker 4>What were the conversations like, like what did you guys do?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So it was it was like NonStop, like talked

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<v Speaker 3>about our future together. He was talking about he was

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<v Speaker 3>talking about going to like Papo, going to like like

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<v Speaker 3>meet his parents.

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<v Speaker 5>That's superad.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that I would wonder what was going on, but

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<v Speaker 4>also it'd be kind of flaggy to hear somebody start talking.

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<v Speaker 5>That way so soon.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, did you do or say anything on the date

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<v Speaker 4>that may have I don't know, altered the course of

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<v Speaker 4>this marriage.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I mean maybe I like appeared too eager

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<v Speaker 3>because he's like, yeah, like we'll meet like my parents.

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<v Speaker 3>I can't wait to show you like my grandparents too.

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<v Speaker 3>And I was just like maybe, like I said, like, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>too quick.

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<v Speaker 5>That is a lot to go that far, right, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>And then now I just think maybe he's like he

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<v Speaker 3>wasn't attracted to me or something, and maybe I should

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<v Speaker 3>have wanted the parent dress, but I don't look basic.

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<v Speaker 3>But I was like, I feel like I picked the

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<v Speaker 3>perfect dress, like you know, like when you ask like

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<v Speaker 3>your girlfriends when you're going out, and I did. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Now I feel kind of insecure and just not okay

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<v Speaker 3>with the right selection that I even picked on my dress.

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<v Speaker 5>Well not be anything about you at all.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, I understand turning to yourself like what's wrong

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<v Speaker 4>with me and doing the superficial like clothing and stuff

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<v Speaker 4>like that, but there's a really good chance it has

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<v Speaker 4>nothing to do with any of that.

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<v Speaker 3>But like, first date impressions are everything too, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>like when I like, when you wear like a red

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<v Speaker 3>dress that makes a big statement that maybe I should

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<v Speaker 3>have just formed that one, and I just I wore

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<v Speaker 3>a regular black dress, and I think that like a

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<v Speaker 3>guy probably in the first date wants like a red

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<v Speaker 3>statement piece dress.

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<v Speaker 2>As a guy who's been on dates before, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think I would care black or red as long as

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<v Speaker 2>you're wearing something or not pretty on where we meet.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know, I don't think. Yeah, I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if the color of it, but hey, who knows. Everybody's different. Okay, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>plays on come back, get your first day follow up.

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<v Speaker 1>Next first Date follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury

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<v Speaker 1>Attorneys online at Advocateslaw dot com.

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<v Speaker 2>If you're just joining us for today's first date follow up.

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<v Speaker 2>Jasmine is on the phone and she's getting ghosted by Ryan.

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<v Speaker 2>So we're about to call him and see if he'll

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<v Speaker 2>tell us why he's a ghosting her and see if

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<v Speaker 2>she still wants another date after she hears the reason.

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<v Speaker 2>But things moved pretty quickly. Jasmine, give a real quick

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<v Speaker 2>recap for everybody who's just joining us on your situation

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<v Speaker 2>with Ryan.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so I feel like this isn't your regular like

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<v Speaker 3>ghost story. I mean, like this guy sent me flowers

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<v Speaker 3>before our date. He told me he wanted he told

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<v Speaker 3>me we wanted to travel together, that I can meet

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<v Speaker 3>his parents, he paid for the bill. Everything was good,

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<v Speaker 3>good conversation, and now I absolutely haven't heard from him.

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<v Speaker 3>And it went from so many messages of flowers to

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<v Speaker 3>my door and now I don't even get a peep nothing.

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<v Speaker 5>I would want to know. Yeah, I would definitely want

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<v Speaker 5>to know what's going on. All right, Well, you ready

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<v Speaker 5>for us to call him?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 5>Here we go, Hello him. I seeking to Ryan. Please.

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<v Speaker 6>This is Ryan, Ryan.

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<v Speaker 5>How are you man? My name is Jubil from a

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<v Speaker 5>radio show called The Jebel Show. Hi, Ryan, whole show's here.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm Nina. Hi, I'm Victoria.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, okay, what's up?

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<v Speaker 5>Have you ever listened to the show before?

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<v Speaker 3>I have?

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<v Speaker 7>Oh? Cool?

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<v Speaker 2>No, Ryan, we're calling you because you went on a

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<v Speaker 2>date with somebody and you haven't called them back. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm not sure if you've ever heard a first

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<v Speaker 2>date follow up before, but that's the segment where if

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<v Speaker 2>you go out with someone and then ghost them, they

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<v Speaker 2>ask us to call you and ask why. So we

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<v Speaker 2>got an email about you from Jasmine. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>do you mind telling us about why you're ghosting Jasmine?

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<v Speaker 8>Well, Jasmine's great, we have a really cool date. She

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<v Speaker 8>is attractive, lovely. But you know what I have come

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<v Speaker 8>to learn about myself that I am I have a

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<v Speaker 8>lot of momentum in the romance department, and I need

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<v Speaker 8>to cool the jets more often. And so I have

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<v Speaker 8>decided for myself, no matter how good it's going. You know,

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<v Speaker 8>as we're texting and talking beforehand, in the first five minutes, irl,

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<v Speaker 8>if I don't.

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<v Speaker 6>Feel something discernible its spark.

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<v Speaker 8>I got to cut it off because I've gone down

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<v Speaker 8>that road too many times hoping that would come because

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<v Speaker 8>everything else seems so good. And then I'm months into

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<v Speaker 8>a relationship and one you know, I just I'm too

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<v Speaker 8>much of a romantic, so I need to I needed

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<v Speaker 8>to draw.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, wait, I don't like okay, okay, sorry, but it's

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<v Speaker 3>kind of really refreshing to even hear your voice. But

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<v Speaker 3>at the same time, now I'm kind of just like

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<v Speaker 3>I'm really just in shock and taken by everything. If

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<v Speaker 3>you're such a romantic and all of this stuff, wouldn't

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<v Speaker 3>you have been polite to just send me a text

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<v Speaker 3>back or call back and be polite, have, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>like just and communicate let me know what's going on,

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<v Speaker 3>instead of just leaving me out in the dark like that.

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<v Speaker 3>That's really disrespectful. I honestly want to like curse your

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<v Speaker 3>head off right now, but like I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 3>just because I'm actually polite. I don't understand why you

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<v Speaker 3>couldn't have just sent a message. You can go ahead

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<v Speaker 3>and send flowers before, but you can't go ahead and

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<v Speaker 3>send a message after our lovely date that we had

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<v Speaker 3>because you didn't feel as.

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<v Speaker 2>Dark, right, And that's Jasmine's been. She's on the phone

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<v Speaker 2>and wants to talk to you.

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<v Speaker 6>I got that.

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<v Speaker 3>You're so much of a romantic, Like, what do you mean?

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<v Speaker 3>How are you such a romantic? I hope everybody knows

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<v Speaker 3>who this guy is and honestly doesn't want to be

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<v Speaker 3>with you, because you should be a little bit more

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<v Speaker 3>upfront if you're a romantic, have common turtesty.

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<v Speaker 4>My biggest question for you, Ryan, though, is what made

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<v Speaker 4>you want to buy somebody flowers before you met them

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<v Speaker 4>and talked about family and all those types of things,

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<v Speaker 4>and then like what changed in the moment where you

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<v Speaker 4>felt comfortable doing that and meeting her in real life?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, that is such a coward move to not even

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<v Speaker 3>respond back to me.

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<v Speaker 6>I'm sorry, I'm.

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<v Speaker 8>Just I'm also pretty non confrontational and I don't like ghosting,

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<v Speaker 8>but it has become a fact in our generation that

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<v Speaker 8>that's just how people handle it. So I thought it

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<v Speaker 8>was better than me explaining all this stuff to you

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<v Speaker 8>about my rule.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but being romantic is being vulnerable and having courage

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<v Speaker 3>and all of that. So I don't even think that's

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<v Speaker 3>what you are. I think you're actually like a narcissist,

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<v Speaker 3>to be honest, if you're going to go ahead and

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<v Speaker 3>like this is like, honestly just unbelievable. You shouldn't love

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<v Speaker 3>bomb people like that. You shouldn't. You shouldn't do that.

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<v Speaker 3>I wish you luck and and somebody I.

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<v Speaker 8>Hear it, desmon, I was embarrassed that I went so

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<v Speaker 8>far before we even.

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<v Speaker 3>Met, and so I just know your howard.

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<v Speaker 6>Responder like double back from that.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, yeah, well I really hope you learn your lesson

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<v Speaker 3>and don't pull such a coward and move on the

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<v Speaker 3>next person that you try and find a spark with,

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<v Speaker 3>because I could mentally mess with people honestly, Like my

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<v Speaker 3>friends aren't even enough now, Like having to see a

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<v Speaker 3>therapist after this is like where it's leading to, like

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<v Speaker 3>it's a little ridiculous. You should like, don't you can't

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<v Speaker 3>do that stuff. I'm trying to find the love of

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<v Speaker 3>my life here as a person that I'm supposed to

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<v Speaker 3>be with. I think that's what everybody's job is and

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<v Speaker 3>that's what they're trying to do, and you're going over

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<v Speaker 3>here and then just like, oh, let me just like

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<v Speaker 3>fake pretend and love bomb you and all this stuff

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<v Speaker 3>and then just like stop and not talk to you,

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<v Speaker 3>Like what are you doing with your life as a man?

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, I'm sorry. I have to jump in again really quick, Jasmine.

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<v Speaker 4>You're right, you shouldn't be ghosting you and all that stuff.

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<v Speaker 4>And if you're in therapy, I think that that's wonderful.

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<v Speaker 4>But that's not entirely his fault.

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<v Speaker 3>How I think that, like, what if you were in

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<v Speaker 3>my position? What if you were like ghosted like that?

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think you understand.

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<v Speaker 4>No, actually I do. I completely understand. I have been

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<v Speaker 4>in your position. It's more about the relationship.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm sure.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just kind of hurt right now in the situation,

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<v Speaker 3>and it's just like I didn't expect him to even answer.

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<v Speaker 5>I get that.

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<v Speaker 6>We'll just leave it there, Jasmine.

0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:00.720
<v Speaker 8>I want to be really clear. I think you're amazing.

0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:03.440
<v Speaker 8>I had a great time with you. It was it

0:11:03.559 --> 0:11:06.520
<v Speaker 8>was me after our date processing this and realizing, you

0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.679
<v Speaker 8>know what, I had gone too far and I didn't

0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:11.599
<v Speaker 8>feel something that I wanted to feel before I proceeded,

0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.920
<v Speaker 8>and you deserved better communication about that.

0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:16.960
<v Speaker 6>But that that those are the facts.

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<v Speaker 3>And I didn't want to lead you on or any

0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:20.160
<v Speaker 3>further whatever.

0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:22.480
<v Speaker 5>Ryan, would you like to go on another date with Jasmine?

0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:23.160
<v Speaker 5>We'll pay for it.

0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:25.480
<v Speaker 3>I would like to go on another date with you, Ryan.

0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.680
<v Speaker 5>Oh wait, what you would? Yeah?

0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:38.160
<v Speaker 7>I would, absolutely you would. Okay, yes, yeah, what. I'm

0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:39.680
<v Speaker 7>busy tonight, but I.

0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:42.360
<v Speaker 8>Do have a friend who I swear I just I say,

0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:44.160
<v Speaker 8>you came to mind, but we went out. I think

0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:46.080
<v Speaker 8>you guys are actually I can put you in Tosh,

0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:46.520
<v Speaker 8>I swear.

0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:46.640
<v Speaker 3>No.

0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:47.720
<v Speaker 5>Oh that's nice.

0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:52.520
<v Speaker 3>Really okay? Cool?

0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:56.120
<v Speaker 5>All right, well that you guys. Seems like it worked out,

0:11:58.000 --> 0:11:59.000
<v Speaker 5>Thank you, all right? Cool.

0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:03.800
<v Speaker 1>Jubele's First Date follow up powered by the Advocates Injury

0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:06.400
<v Speaker 1>Attorney Online at Advocateslaw dot com.