1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,040 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. 2 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 2: This is a John your og Okay Storytime podcast host, 3 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 2: and we got some great stories coming up. Before that, 4 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 2: we have a quick two minute break from the sponsors 5 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:08,799 Speaker 2: that keep the show a lot. 6 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 3: My boyfriend demands I cut contact with his brother because 7 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 3: his brother defended me. 8 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: What is this some kind of sick game. 9 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 3: Trigger warning, physical altercation? 10 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: Oh god, it might be. 11 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,480 Speaker 3: Boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I 12 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 3: have known as brother who I will call Reggie for 13 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 3: most of that time. We've always gotten on well enough. 14 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 3: The whole situation started with my twenty first birthday party. 15 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 3: We had a party at home with twenty or so 16 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 3: friends and family. Reggie was of course present at the party, 17 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 3: along with a few other members of boyfriend's family. By 18 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Punch Drunk Lady, and if 19 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the 20 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 3: r slash Owkay Storytime subread it. So the party was 21 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 3: going reasonably well. As it started to get later, I 22 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 3: started to get a little tipsy and most of the 23 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 3: guests had started to go. It eventually got down to 24 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 3: a wasted little group made up of myself, boyfriend, Reggie, 25 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,039 Speaker 3: and a couple of my girlfriends. We were sitting outside 26 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 3: and one of my girlfriends decided to get on the trampoline. 27 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 3: She managed to execute a pretty cool flip, and I 28 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 3: expressed that I wished I knew how to do one. 29 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 3: My friend talked me into giving it a try. I 30 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:26,119 Speaker 3: got up on the tramp stumbled wastedly, and fell down laughing. 31 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 3: Everyone else except for boyfriend, was laughing also. It didn't 32 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,960 Speaker 3: seem like much of an event until Boyfriend got up, 33 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 3: muttering iplethetic in an angry tone, and then told me 34 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 3: that we needed to speak in private. 35 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: She's like, you can't even do a flip. It's literally 36 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 1: my biggest ick. 37 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 3: I was pretty confused as to what was going on, 38 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 3: so I asked him why, and he answered me with 39 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 3: stopping a stupid cow for a second and come to 40 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 3: the bedroom. 41 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: What what do I? I read that in Irish in 42 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: my head. What because of cow? 43 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 3: Hey? Both of my friends and red. He looked pretty 44 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 3: shocked at this, but before I followed boyfriend to the bedroom, 45 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 3: I told him it was fine and Boyfriend was probably 46 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 3: just messing around. 47 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: Right. 48 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 3: He can have a real temper sometimes not good, particularly 49 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 3: after a few drinks, but I didn't think that would 50 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,639 Speaker 3: be the case in this instance, as literally nothing upsetting 51 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 3: had happened got to me and my boyfriend in the bedroom, 52 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 3: he shuts the door and starts really going off. He 53 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 3: tells me that I'm disgusting idiot, that I was showing 54 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 3: off like some kind of pathetic wanna be by messing 55 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 3: around on the trampoline. What, I'm sorry? 56 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 1: What? She's like drunk, and he's like, who do you 57 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 1: think you are? 58 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 3: You? 59 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: What do you do? You want everybody to think you're 60 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: a gymnast or something? Off? You're pathetic. Meanwhile he's cheating 61 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: on her. 62 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, ye, that I was an embarrassment him and that 63 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 3: I was to go to bed now, oh, now it's 64 00:02:59,600 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 3: your parent. 65 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,000 Speaker 1: I know what's bent not leave. 66 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 3: The room until morning so that I would be more 67 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 3: of an idiot in front of company. As this is 68 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 3: going on, he's getting louder and louder and is slamming 69 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 3: things around the room. I went to leave as I 70 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,839 Speaker 3: was quite upset at this point, but he blocks the door, 71 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 3: so I sit down on the bed. 72 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: This needs to be the last time break up, break up, 73 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: break up that you spend time with this guy, and 74 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: let that be known for everyone hearing the story. 75 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 3: Reggie is banging on the door and tells boyfriend to 76 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 3: open it. Boyfriend goes out in the hall and I 77 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 3: can hear him and Reggie arguing. Next thing I know, 78 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,839 Speaker 3: Reggie comes into the room and says to go with him. 79 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,560 Speaker 3: I was sobbing like crazy at this point, but because 80 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 3: I hate confrontation in general, I just nod and go 81 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 3: with him. Reggie make sure my other friends have left, 82 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 3: and then we both get into a taxi. I don't 83 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 3: know where boyfriend is gone, but he is still in 84 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 3: the house somewhere. I'm crying a bunch in the car 85 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 3: and don't say much, but Reggie calls his and boyfriend's 86 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 3: mother and gives her a brief rundown of what happened. 87 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 3: We got to Reggie's place. He lives with a couple 88 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 3: and they were really nice. The girl roommate lent me 89 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 3: some stuff to sleep in, and Reggie told me to 90 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 3: take his bed and he would sleep on the count. 91 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 3: I was kind of all over the place, but eventually 92 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 3: got some sleep. Next morning, I got up and had 93 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 3: coffee with Reggie in one of his roommates. Reggie asked 94 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 3: if boyfriend had behaved that way before, and I let 95 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 3: him know about boyfriend's temper, but explain that he had 96 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 3: never blown up over something as insignificant as me mucking 97 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 3: around on a trampoline. Oh pee, there was never any 98 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,040 Speaker 3: reason for him to blow up in this way. There 99 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 3: is no excuse for that. Well, I mean you, I 100 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 3: mean to blow up in this way. There is no 101 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,320 Speaker 3: excuse for me. 102 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: Let me, let me brainstorm. So you have a priceless 103 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:49,040 Speaker 1: family heirloom passed down for the hundreds of years, and 104 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: he confuses it for toilet paper. Oh, I even said he. 105 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,479 Speaker 1: So I immediately swapped to this guy because I just 106 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: can't see Opie doing anything wrong. But no, and you know, 107 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 1: outside of the bounds of ridiculous situations, this is all 108 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 1: never justified. 109 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 3: Never does ye ever. Nope. I asked Reggie if he 110 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 3: thought maybe I did or said something that might have 111 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 3: upset boyfriend and didn't realize dude to being a tipsy. 112 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,599 Speaker 3: But Reggie said no, and that boyfriend's behavior was unacceptable. 113 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 3: Good on, Reggie. 114 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 1: I have a better hypothetical. He spits on her mom 115 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: and then like pushes her into the pool. That's like 116 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: a I would sit him down and be like, you know, 117 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: you don't get to leave. You have to sit here 118 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: and sit with what you did. You mean her, if 119 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,760 Speaker 1: she or her, But I'm still doing him okay because 120 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: she would never do it. 121 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. I felt silly and embarrassed, especially knowing that Reggie 122 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 3: and my friends had heard everything boyfriend had said, and 123 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,160 Speaker 3: I told Reggie I had better get home and try 124 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 3: to sort things out. No, no, no, no no. I'd be 125 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 3: like girl, you you I mean like you can go 126 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 3: anywhere because you're your own person, but you shouldn't go 127 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 3: anywhere until we get into your head that you didn't 128 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:53,559 Speaker 3: do anything wrong. 129 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: Rights you have to fix. This should be a thing 130 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,279 Speaker 1: he has to fix. 131 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. Reggie said that he wanted me to stay at 132 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 3: his play yes for just a bit longer to calm down, 133 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 3: and that he would really prefer that I didn't go 134 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,919 Speaker 3: home straight away, as boyfriend could still be angry. I 135 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 3: gave in and hung out there with Reggie in his roommates. 136 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,040 Speaker 3: We all just played video games and got some takeout, 137 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 3: and I ended up feeling much better afterward, so I'm 138 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 3: glad I stayed. Early evening, I told Reggie I should 139 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 3: really go home. I didn't have any of my clothes, 140 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 3: and more importantly, I needed my stuff for university. The 141 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 3: next day, he drove me over but didn't really want 142 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 3: me to go inside. I told him it would be 143 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 3: fine and promised I would call him if anything happened. 144 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:33,800 Speaker 3: He agreed, but said he would wait outside for a 145 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 3: few minutes just in case I got inside and boyfriend 146 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,040 Speaker 3: wasn't home. So I told Reggie to go and went 147 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 3: about tidying up from the party. Also, the fact that 148 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 3: OPI was gone for seems like about a day and 149 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 3: he didn't tidy up. 150 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 1: That's the biggest red flag. 151 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is. Boyfriend eventually rocked up and seemed calm enough. Well, 152 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:56,919 Speaker 3: my thing is that if no one tidied up after 153 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,040 Speaker 3: a day had passed, I feel like he probably he 154 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 3: is never really doing any of the tiny ye might. 155 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: Not have even been there. I bet you he was 156 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: probably with whoever he's cheating on ope with. 157 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 3: That's also true. I told him I thought we needed 158 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 3: to have a talk, and he agreed. He sat down 159 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 3: on the couch and I explained to him that I 160 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 3: didn't think the way he spoke to me last night 161 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,200 Speaker 3: was right and asked for an explanation. There is notion 162 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 3: is responsible was I'll discuss that with you. After you 163 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 3: delete Reggie's phone number, you won't be speaking to him again. 164 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 3: Oh pe, oh pee. If someone is ever telling you 165 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:31,240 Speaker 3: to cut a person out of your life that defends 166 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 3: you from their aggression, that is a sign he's telling 167 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 3: you to cut his own brother out of your life 168 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 3: because his brother recognized that this guy's abusive. I was 169 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 3: confused as all heck at this and asked what that 170 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 3: had to do with the matter at hand. He told 171 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 3: me that Reggie disrespected him by interfering in our relationship 172 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,679 Speaker 3: and that we were cutting ties with him. We're cutting 173 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 3: ties with you, brother. He told me he wouldn't discuss 174 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 3: anything else about the night before until I did that. 175 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 3: I told boyfriend I thought that was pretty unnecessary and 176 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 3: that Reggie had been trying to help me because boyfriend 177 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 3: was acting really threatening, and then I would have probably 178 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 3: done the same in Reggie's shoes. Well, Boyfriend did not 179 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 3: like that. He yelled, called me some names, and left 180 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,480 Speaker 3: the house. After a few hours, he sent me a text, 181 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 3: I'm sorry for yelling, but you need to respect what 182 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 3: I want if you want the same in return. This 183 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 3: can't be one sided. Delete Reggie's number and we'll finish 184 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:28,000 Speaker 3: the conversation love you, Hey you don't he stupid? 185 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 1: Don't that's called one sided. 186 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 3: Get out of that relationship. Will Pe please. 187 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: Well do what I do, or we won't have the conversation. 188 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 3: I replied that I needed a little time to think, 189 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 3: and I said I would be sleeping in the spare 190 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 3: room when he got home and to please leave me 191 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 3: some space for a while. I went to bed. Her 192 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 3: boyfriend come in very late. He opened the door to 193 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 3: the spare room and turned the light on, but as 194 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,840 Speaker 3: I woke up, he just walked out of the room 195 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 3: and slammed the door. 196 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: He was probably mad as a fair partner wasn't in there. 197 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 3: So this morning I woke up, boyfriend is work and 198 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 3: I have a text from Reggie. It says, hey, Opie, 199 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,880 Speaker 3: I hope you're okay. Look what boyfriend did the other 200 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 3: night is really not all right, and I think you 201 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 3: should get out of there for a while. I've talked 202 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 3: to our friends and it's totally oh the roommates and 203 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 3: it's totally fine for you to crash here until you 204 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,679 Speaker 3: figure out what you want to do. So that leaves 205 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 3: me where I am now. Don't know what to do 206 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 3: with the situation. Do his boyfriend asks and cut contact 207 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 3: with Reggie, or take Reggie's offer of some space away 208 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 3: from boyfriend to clear my head. My worry is that 209 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 3: I stay at Reggie's. That will destroy any chance of 210 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 3: fixing things with boyfriend. Advice very much appreciated. I can't 211 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 3: wait for all the comments. 212 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,680 Speaker 1: So SOA, we're about to get that. 213 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 3: Say leave Reggie. 214 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 1: You being unable to fix things with your boyfriend is 215 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: not a problem that. Yeah, that's a solution. 216 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, there is no fixing this. 217 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: You sure he's no fixing de sire to fix it? No, No, nope, nope. 218 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: Please leaves, and you know, get out of there. If 219 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: anyone ever listens to these stories us included, and goes, 220 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 1: why why would anyone ever stay there? You have to 221 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 1: look up the cycle of abuse, yep, because that is 222 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: why this person is a victim of their own thought 223 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: loops and their own you know, and and and they're 224 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: being victimized by their partner. Yep. So you know it's 225 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 1: all right. 226 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 3: Probably has been isolating them from everyone who has ever said, hey. 227 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: Regg doesn't seem like a great guy, right, And people 228 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: who are abusers, they have like a radar for people 229 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: who will like not see through them, or who will 230 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 1: put up with their crap? You know, they'll they'll put 231 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 1: they put feelers, you know whatever. They're insidious people. But 232 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 1: it's not on her, no being so blind, to being 233 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,040 Speaker 1: able to not be able to see that she needs 234 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: to leave the situation. And I hope Reggie continues to 235 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:47,160 Speaker 1: hammer the point home with her, and I hope that 236 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 1: Reddit does too. But there isn't it. 237 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 3: When I was able to come back and check on 238 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 3: this post, I was amazed at the enormous amount of 239 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 3: comments and messages I received. There's been a lot to 240 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 3: catch up on and I'm reading everything. Thank you to 241 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 3: everyone who was given their advice. It has cemented the 242 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 3: decision I've already made about getting out amazing news. But 243 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 3: quite a bit has happened in the last day, so 244 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 3: I will be doing an update for anyone who is curious. 245 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 3: I will try to get it up in a few hours. Again, 246 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 3: thank you to everyone who has commented or messaged me. 247 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 3: I'm truly touched by all the helpful and caring responses 248 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 3: I received. 249 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 1: Update. 250 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,719 Speaker 3: After Reggie texted me, I replied to him asking if 251 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 3: he had known my boyfriend to behave like this with 252 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 3: other girls in the past. Over the course of many texts, 253 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,079 Speaker 3: it came out that he often yelled at and belittled 254 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 3: his previous girlfriends in front of others, and some of 255 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 3: his friends and family had suspicions about how far he 256 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 3: was taking it. After the breakup, the girlfriend posted some 257 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 3: stuff on Facebook about how boyfriend had hit her. I 258 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 3: don't understand why any of the family wouldn't be immediately 259 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,959 Speaker 3: being like, hey, hey, uh oh, pie, just want you 260 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 3: don't know? 261 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 1: This is what happened, right, Like, I don't understand how 262 00:11:56,360 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: people can just rock with folks that are known abuse her. 263 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, how could Reggie even be? 264 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: Like? 265 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 3: I would never be involved in someone's life if I 266 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,280 Speaker 3: found out that they like hit people and were abusive 267 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 3: to their partners, I'd be like, uh bye, never be 268 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,720 Speaker 3: having you around me. And did other things like spying 269 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 3: on her and deleting people from her phone behind her back. Initially, 270 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 3: when this happened, Reggie and his parents questioned boyfriend, and 271 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 3: he insisted that the physical abuse accusations were not true 272 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 3: and that his ex was saying those things to cover 273 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 3: up the fact that she allegedly cheated. 274 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: On him, which means that he's cheating. 275 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,600 Speaker 3: Boyfriend admitted to yelling at her, but he told his 276 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 3: family that she did the same and just as often. 277 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,320 Speaker 3: His family eventually accepted that, but Reggie and his parents 278 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 3: were always wary of boyfriend's behavior, and Reggie in particular 279 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,240 Speaker 3: had made a point to keep an eye on things. 280 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 3: Boyfriend's X apparently had also called Reggie around six months 281 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 3: after myself and boyfriend had gotten together, and asked him 282 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 3: to help me if anything happened. I mean, if someone's 283 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 3: ex is reaching out to you and saying, like. 284 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 1: Please help this new girl right what you know, what 285 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 1: are we doing. 286 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,199 Speaker 3: At the time, Reggie was not quite ready to believe 287 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 3: boyfriend would physically abuse anyone, but he told her all 288 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 3: the same he would watch out for me or any 289 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 3: other girl in the future. Reggie told me that after 290 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 3: the way he saw boyfriend behave at my party, he 291 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 3: became more convinced that boyfriend was likely to get physical, 292 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 3: and that was why he chose to step in. He 293 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 3: also told me that even if it didn't go that far, 294 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,080 Speaker 3: I should not put up with how boyfriend treated me. 295 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 3: I agreed what Reggie had told me, and all the 296 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 3: information and support I received here had me pretty convinced 297 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,560 Speaker 3: that I was not in a good situation, I decided 298 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 3: to go and stay with Reggie and his roommates for 299 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 3: a short time. I don't have too many other options 300 00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,959 Speaker 3: for accommodation this urgently. My parents lived too far away, 301 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 3: and the few friends I could stay with are other 302 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,360 Speaker 3: girls with enough on their plate, and I didn't want 303 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,720 Speaker 3: to risk bringing this drama to their doorsteps. In retrospect, 304 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 3: I'm glad I chose to go to Reggie's because I 305 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 3: I feel like what followed could have been even more 306 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,319 Speaker 3: frightening and dangerous if only myself and another girl had 307 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,720 Speaker 3: been present. I didn't have much time to get my 308 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 3: stuff together before boyfriend was due to arrive home, so 309 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 3: I packed a few bags of essentials and valuables along 310 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 3: with my school things, and Reggie picked me up. I 311 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 3: left a note at the house for boyfriend saying I 312 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 3: was leaving and that I did not plan on returning 313 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 3: other than to retrieve the rest of my things. I 314 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 3: didn't tell him where I would be staying and that 315 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 3: I would rather he didn't contact me directly, suggesting he 316 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 3: communicate through his mother instead. I got to Reggie's and 317 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,200 Speaker 3: got settled in while choosing to leave was difficult, and 318 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 3: I had a few bouts of crying. I also felt 319 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 3: immensely relieved. Reggie and boyfriend's parents came around and brought 320 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:47,120 Speaker 3: some dinner. They were incredibly nice about everything and told 321 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 3: me I had to do what was best for me. 322 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 3: We always got along well, but I never expected them 323 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:55,000 Speaker 3: to be so kind and supportive given the situation. Halfway 324 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 3: through dinner, my phone rang. It was boyfriend. I did 325 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 3: not want to answer it, and everyone and I also 326 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 3: agree that was probably a good idea. After my phone 327 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 3: rang out, Reggie and boyfriend's mom phone began to ring. 328 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:11,600 Speaker 3: Two Predictably enough, it was boyfriend calling. His dad answered 329 00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 3: the phone. The phone was not on speaker, but boyfriend 330 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 3: was loud enough that you could hear him yelling down 331 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 3: the phone. I couldn't tell exactly what was said, but 332 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 3: his dad was telling him to calm down and not 333 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 3: to do something. Boyfriend hung up on him, and Reggie 334 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 3: and boyfriend's dad told us boyfriend was coming to Reggie's place, 335 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 3: saying this was all Reggie's fault. Please please please saw 336 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 3: the police ring ring Please police. 337 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: I am a psychic. I can predict a crime is 338 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 1: going to be committed at my address. 339 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,920 Speaker 3: Reggie started to get a bunch of text messages from 340 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 3: boyfriend making threats and telling Reggie that he knew I 341 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 3: was there and he was coming to get me. Please 342 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 3: please don't see you. 343 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: That was a reference for you. That was a psych 344 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 1: That was a psych reference like that. I could have 345 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 1: heard those words to give me some domine I liked it. Ah, Yes, 346 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: we will, thank you. 347 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 3: Reggie replied to him, saying that if boyfriend came here 348 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 3: and caused trouble, he would be calling the police, but 349 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 3: boyfriend ignored him. Call the police. Call the police. 350 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, straight up, like the police. Hey, like an 351 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 1: abusive boyfriend that I'm leaving is coming to the place 352 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,200 Speaker 1: I am call the police. 353 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 3: Already threatened, boyfriend showed up at Reggie's probably fifteen minutes later. 354 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 3: He drove up the lawn and almost hit the letter 355 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 3: box and got out of his car and started yelling, police, ring, ring, ring. 356 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,080 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this is a guy who needs to go 357 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 1: to jail. Yep. 358 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 3: Reggie and his dad went out while I stayed in 359 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 3: the front room with his mom. Boyfriend yelled for a 360 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 3: while and was punting at random parts of the garden. 361 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 3: Boyfriend started to yell towards the house that he knew 362 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 3: I was there and to come out. I wasn't planning 363 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:48,520 Speaker 3: on coming out at all, and Reggie told him to leave. 364 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 3: Boyfriend ended up running around the side of the house 365 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 3: to the back patio entry. The screen door was locked, 366 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 3: but the solid back door wasn't, and he started hitting 367 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 3: the flywire trying to break it. Police, Why is no 368 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 3: one calling the police? He kept yelling into the house 369 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,399 Speaker 3: that he knew I was there and that if I 370 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,679 Speaker 3: didn't come out, he would destroy all my stuff and 371 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 3: log onto my school out accounts and cause problems on there. 372 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 3: Reggie and his dad caught up to boyfriend and started 373 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,159 Speaker 3: pulling him away from the door. Boyfriend started throwing the 374 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 3: old one toos and his mom and I both went 375 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,640 Speaker 3: out to the inside of the back door because we 376 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,639 Speaker 3: were worried someone would get hurt. Boyfriend saw me and 377 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 3: started trying for the back door again. His mom said 378 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 3: she was going to call the police go do that. 379 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: If only someone had thought about doing that before he 380 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:34,120 Speaker 1: got there. 381 00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:37,639 Speaker 3: Boyfriend and Reggie's dad ended up palling him out to 382 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 3: the front yard and told him to leave. Boyfriend did 383 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:44,439 Speaker 3: eventually get into the car, spun his wheels, tore up 384 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 3: the grass, and drove off. 385 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:52,480 Speaker 1: So what the actual flippity DooDah are his parents doing? 386 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:55,400 Speaker 1: I have no idea. Why are there this, have no 387 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: in sequences, needed, territory, no clue. I know one is 388 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: calling the place like this guy would have been pinned 389 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,760 Speaker 1: on my front lawn. I don't care if you know. 390 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 1: I don't care that he's my son. He's pinned on 391 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:11,440 Speaker 1: the front lawn until the cops get there and arrest, arrest, arrest, arrest. 392 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,480 Speaker 3: I feel pretty awful after all that his mom and 393 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,640 Speaker 3: dad were both visibly really upset, and Reggie's rental property 394 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 3: had been messed up. Police, I'd like to file a 395 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:23,640 Speaker 3: police report. 396 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,199 Speaker 1: Police, my known abuser is coming to this house to 397 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,400 Speaker 1: try to get me. Maybe have the cops be here 398 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: to arrest him. Thank you, But. 399 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 3: They were still so nice about everything though. They really 400 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:35,880 Speaker 3: are wonderful people. I spoke to the police and they 401 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,199 Speaker 3: said they would be speaking to boyfriend about what happened, 402 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,359 Speaker 3: and I got some advice about obtaining a VRO and 403 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 3: making sure I could find a way of retrieving my 404 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 3: stuff from the house. So that is all okay for 405 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,199 Speaker 3: the moment. The latest news is that boyfriend has been 406 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,359 Speaker 3: all over Facebook saying that Reggie and I have been 407 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 3: having an affair and posting all these random, propped, blurry 408 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:56,359 Speaker 3: corn pictures from the internet saying it was us and 409 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,159 Speaker 3: then he caught us in the act. None of us 410 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,639 Speaker 3: are responding to any of it at this point. I 411 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 3: haven't really decided what to do there. That's a fun 412 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:09,680 Speaker 3: combo of different felonies. That yes, that's also a felony. Yeah, 413 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 3: my plan is to stay with Reggie for now. It 414 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 3: still is my best option, and Reggie has said he 415 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,119 Speaker 3: won't leave me alone at the house in case boyfriend 416 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,400 Speaker 3: comes back, either he or his male roommate would be there. 417 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,520 Speaker 3: We also spoke to a couple of the neighbors that 418 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 3: Reggie is friendly with, and they said they would keep 419 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 3: an eye out for his car or call us if 420 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 3: they saw anything dodgy. 421 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,359 Speaker 1: Why why is he not in jail? Failure of the parents. 422 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,399 Speaker 3: By the way, you can keep an eye out for 423 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 3: full episodes with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, 424 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,919 Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search up Okay, storytime, But 425 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,119 Speaker 3: oh my goodness, there's a little bit left of the story. 426 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,080 Speaker 3: Immediately call the police. Back ups say, hey, I'd like 427 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 3: to file a police report for property damage. Look at 428 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,399 Speaker 3: all this damage. Yeah, here it is. Hello, Hello he 429 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,119 Speaker 3: did I'd like to file a police sport you threatened me. 430 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,439 Speaker 3: Here's proof in text. 431 00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I gotta tell you. I bet you this 432 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 1: guy doesn't He doesn't sound like the most level headed, thoughtful, 433 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 1: you know, emotionally regulated individual. He would probably tell the 434 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:10,440 Speaker 1: police he did this stuff. So it's okay to this 435 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 1: man needs un sequenceous consequences. 436 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,640 Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to this story. 437 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 3: I'm a bit at a loss as to what to 438 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 3: do next. 439 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: Oh, I just told you what. I know it's due. 440 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,120 Speaker 1: You have to buy a net launcher. And next time 441 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,679 Speaker 1: old uh stinky pants comes uh sniffing around, you just 442 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,280 Speaker 1: get him with the net launcher. Good and uh that 443 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: was a good sound. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, you 444 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,679 Speaker 1: just hit him with one of those. You know. 445 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 3: I'm at a bit of a loss as to what 446 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 3: to do next. I'm planning to talk to my UNI 447 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:44,440 Speaker 3: about getting into student housing. I'm planning to go out 448 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,879 Speaker 3: tomorrow to buy some pepper spray. Also, I'm tossing up 449 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,160 Speaker 3: about reaching out to boyfriend's X, but I'm not sure 450 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 3: if that will cause more problems for everyone, So I 451 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 3: suppose that's it for now, at least. I'm sorry that 452 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 3: this was a bit of a novel, but I know 453 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 3: a lot of people wanted an update, and considering how 454 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,399 Speaker 3: nice everyone has been, I wouldn't want anyone to worry 455 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 3: that I had gone back slash state with him. Rest 456 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,920 Speaker 3: assured that is totally out of the question. The more 457 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,399 Speaker 3: I think about things that happened within our relationship with 458 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,720 Speaker 3: this new perspective, the more I realized how fed up 459 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 3: some of those things were. 460 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 1: Yes, you're getting out of the cycle. Yes, yeah, I 461 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,959 Speaker 1: love right. I just wanted to make sure I updated 462 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,359 Speaker 1: so no one was thinking I still stayed with this guy. 463 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. 464 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,919 Speaker 1: I just had to tell you. Yes, good good ending. Yeah, 465 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:33,119 Speaker 1: and I'm glad, so glad that so glad. You know 466 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: your boyfriend was so smelly. 467 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:40,120 Speaker 3: But Reggie, Reggie, Reggie for the whin We got another story. 468 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: My boyfriend bought a house with his brother. It's been 469 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: less than an ideal living situation. Move out, that's the solution. 470 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 1: I have been with my partner for about a year 471 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,280 Speaker 1: before our relationship. He purchased a Big four unit home 472 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,920 Speaker 1: with his brother and brother's wife. So the three of 473 00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 1: them bought the home together with the long term goal 474 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: of eventually having two units to themselves, one for my boyfriend, 475 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,879 Speaker 1: the other for his brother and wife, and converting the 476 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:12,640 Speaker 1: remaining two units into a shared floor shared between them all. 477 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,719 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user objective olive twenty 478 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,439 Speaker 1: five to ten And if you want to submit your 479 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:20,360 Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime sub 480 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 1: breddit to. 481 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 3: Every doing it go so many stories over there. 482 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 1: So it's a beautiful, old, historic Victorian home that needs 483 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,640 Speaker 1: a lot of work done to it. Their mother had 484 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: passed a year ago, so the money they received from 485 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,720 Speaker 1: her will they use towards the home. I came into 486 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 1: the picture shortly after this big decision and their mother's passing. 487 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 1: I've been renting an apartment for the past six years 488 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: by myself. I've always lived alone, and even when I 489 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:52,439 Speaker 1: lived with family, I was pretty isolated. Both my parents 490 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: have passed and I have a pretty traumatic upbringing, full 491 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 1: of abandonment from my parents and family, substance problems, and 492 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 1: an overall emotionally neglectful family. I do not have good 493 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 1: relationships with my family members, So that's the gist of me. 494 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,679 Speaker 1: My partner's goal was originally to purchase a home with 495 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,880 Speaker 1: his future partner. That has now changed since purchasing the home, 496 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,400 Speaker 1: it's now that he sees himself living in this home 497 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 1: and having kids here. I obviously aligned more with his 498 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,400 Speaker 1: original goal of purchasing a home with my partner. Two 499 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 1: tenants have left from the house, so they both occupy 500 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 1: one unit now, which happens to be the future shared floor. 501 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,640 Speaker 1: I'm here all the time now for the past month 502 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: since he's moved in. They've knocked a wall open to 503 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 1: gain easier access to each other, so I can walk 504 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,840 Speaker 1: over to his brother's side right through a door. Imagine 505 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 1: a hotel with a shared door you can unlock thatchoes 506 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 1: to an adjacent room. Additionally, his brother is a vet 507 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: slash dog breeder, so they have tons of dogs, like 508 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,680 Speaker 1: eight on the brother's side, which is a noise issue 509 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: for sure. The problem for me is figuring out how 510 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 1: I fit in this whole vision. They have already carved out. 511 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: The units they took over are one bedroom units. Long term, 512 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,400 Speaker 1: when they're able to fully occupy the house, they'll each 513 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: have three bedroom units. Essentially the size of a normal house. 514 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,200 Speaker 1: In each there won't be a shared door once we 515 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 1: move into the bigger units. I was thinking of moving 516 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 1: in a couple of months so I could save on 517 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: my rent and pay down my debts faster. But it's 518 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 1: such an unusual circumstance, at least to me anyway. So 519 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 1: am I clocking this right? Are they? So? They have 520 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,720 Speaker 1: three or four units in like a shared building, like 521 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:35,119 Speaker 1: an apartment space, like maybe they're like penthouse units ors 522 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,480 Speaker 1: I assume, I don't know. From the sounds of it. 523 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 1: It sounds like they're pretty large, like they're extensive, So 524 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:44,560 Speaker 1: it sounds like they've bought like a you know, huge 525 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: space in like a like a apartment complex. They're knocking 526 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: down the walls or like condos or something. Sorry, I'm 527 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,959 Speaker 1: just it's been I was, it was. It was difficult 528 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 1: for me to paint that picture in my head. So 529 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,359 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to get clear because at first I 530 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: was thinking in the context of like houses, the units 531 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,399 Speaker 1: on like a property, but it really, yeah, it feels 532 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,080 Speaker 1: like they're knocking down walls and like like somehow they 533 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,240 Speaker 1: bought the whole penthouse of a building and they're knocking 534 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,879 Speaker 1: down walls in there, because if you have three or 535 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 1: four units with three bedrooms, or like three units with 536 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 1: three bedrooms and the one with one, it's like, I 537 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 1: just I'm having a hard time visualizing if anyone in 538 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 1: chat can help me out orunds. 539 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,920 Speaker 3: Like it's a duplex that they're turning into a single 540 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 3: family house. 541 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 1: Possibly, yeah, okay, yeah, so much room for activities, says Kimberly. Fine, 542 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,879 Speaker 1: I really value my privacy and independence. His brother and 543 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: sister in law feel I close myself off, But the 544 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 1: way I see it, there's literally a door they can 545 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 1: walk through at any moment to see me. You can't 546 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,679 Speaker 1: get any closer than being on the same property, like 547 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,720 Speaker 1: ten feet away through a door. So our relationship is 548 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,280 Speaker 1: strained right now because I do not exactly get along 549 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 1: with his brother. I find his brother to be intimidating 550 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,959 Speaker 1: and cold. The sister in law I get along better with, 551 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: but I'm still not exactly the closest with them. My 552 00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 1: boyfriend touts that I get an instant family with them 553 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 1: and that they will help me with anything, and once 554 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,919 Speaker 1: we're moved in upstairs, I will get more privacy and 555 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 1: can do whatever I want to the space to make 556 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 1: it our own. To sum it up, the kind of 557 00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,479 Speaker 1: deal I feel is in front of me is that 558 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,200 Speaker 1: I'd have to accept the circumstances of the house with 559 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 1: him and his brother and sister in law, or I 560 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,919 Speaker 1: have no future with him. It feels like I cannot 561 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,720 Speaker 1: choose my partner alone in this. My boyfriend says I 562 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,439 Speaker 1: guilt him and make him feel like he has to 563 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,840 Speaker 1: choose between his brother and me, which I feel like 564 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 1: that's wrong. If anything, it feels like the brother is 565 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: probably putting that energy out there. Yeah. Part of me 566 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 1: is unsure if I'm being too closed off due to 567 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 1: my upbringing. I don't know how to accept the situation 568 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,399 Speaker 1: without feeling like I'm a bystander. With all this, we 569 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 1: got into an argument yesterday because of a room that 570 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 1: is currently empty and in the process of being fixed up. 571 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,120 Speaker 1: We had a differing opinion on windows. I tore off 572 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 1: some window frames without consulting his brother, and that caused 573 00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,920 Speaker 1: an issue. We had stripped the paint off of them, 574 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,439 Speaker 1: but poorly, so I was getting frustrated and tried to 575 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 1: expedite the process. His brother has for the first time 576 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 1: texted me directly in our group, looking to resolve our differences. 577 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: And here's how I look at it. Here's the pros. 578 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,640 Speaker 1: I'm able to get help from his brother and sister 579 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 1: in law at any given moment, especially if we had kids. 580 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 1: I could see that being a huge plus reduced in 581 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: it reduces the debt and overall home ownership cost. It 582 00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: is a beautiful home, and owning a home in New 583 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:23,719 Speaker 1: York is a big deal. I knew it. 584 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 3: Oh then maybe it's like a yeah, someone's saying Brownstone. 585 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: I knew it. Yeah, Brownstone, like. 586 00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,359 Speaker 3: A Brownstone in New York, like going to the gold But. 587 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: They're saying units. It's multiple units. You know, you don't 588 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: really have multiple units in but a house like a Brownstone. 589 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 1: So I'm seeing where it's like it's like a high ride, 590 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,280 Speaker 1: like there's they have multiple units. 591 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 3: But how they would not be it was a high rise. 592 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 3: They would not be able to like take down walls. 593 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,360 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, if you buy the apartment. Yeah they bought it, 594 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,159 Speaker 1: so it's like they own those apartments. sEH. 595 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 3: I was thinking like old house that was like made 596 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,920 Speaker 3: into a bunch of like separate places, and then they 597 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 3: they got Oh, I guess that that's what I was saying. 598 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 3: That could be true. But it's like multiple. 599 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,199 Speaker 1: It would be a massive house because you've got at 600 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: least two units that have three bedrooms. How does that work? 601 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,360 Speaker 1: So that's a six seven eight, it's a ten bedroom house, 602 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,480 Speaker 1: I mean a ten bedroom brownstone. I don't know. 603 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,360 Speaker 3: I'm just throwing out other possibilities. 604 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 1: I just like the penthouse. 605 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 3: Oh they said a Victorian house. 606 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:24,400 Speaker 1: Oh that's right. 607 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 3: Blast the set of a house everyone. 608 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 1: Ooh shoot, I feel silly. It's a beautiful home, and 609 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 1: owning a home in New York is a big deal. 610 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to buy a home on my 611 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:40,240 Speaker 1: own right now. I do woodworking projects, so getting to 612 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,720 Speaker 1: do a lot of DIY things will be nice once 613 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,400 Speaker 1: we have the three bedroom space. His brother being a 614 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:49,880 Speaker 1: vet is also a pro and the cons unsure of 615 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: boundaries and privacy. At the moment, the dogs are loud 616 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 1: and currently because of the shared door, there is a 617 00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,240 Speaker 1: lot of noise and I'm not it's not feeling like 618 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 1: a single household. His brother will always be included in 619 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,680 Speaker 1: some way. I feel like a bystander. Well, I mean 620 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 1: you'd be a part of it. I don't get to 621 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,440 Speaker 1: own the home, and I do have to give up 622 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 1: creative decisions on things such as the exterior of the 623 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,920 Speaker 1: home or the shared downstairs, since that will be his 624 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: brother's decisions. I love my apartment. I made it my own, 625 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 1: and I feel sad about leaving it. Anyone in a 626 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: similar situation, can you chime in? Am I being selfish? 627 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,360 Speaker 1: Part of me thinks I am because of how independent 628 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 1: I am. My boyfriend tells me to see the big 629 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,400 Speaker 1: picture of it all, but I struggle with it because 630 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 1: I view things as wanting to only make decisions between 631 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: him and I, and it's an awkward dynamic for me 632 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: to accept that his brother is a huge part of 633 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 1: the home. I always imagined my future relationship being its 634 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 1: own entity, living with that person exclusively, and having a family. 635 00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,000 Speaker 1: I might be closed off to this dynamic as well 636 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:50,280 Speaker 1: because I am a deeply mistrusting person. I'm not sure 637 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: how to process my thoughts on this. And there is 638 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: an edit. 639 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, when I move in or when I have a partner, 640 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,600 Speaker 3: I'm going to live in a compound with my brother. 641 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,479 Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh yeah, You've made it very clear. Sam is 642 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: the package deal. 643 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, and Sam has to deal with that. 644 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: I think with advances in cloning, we can come up 645 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 1: with some very creative solutions to that problem. 646 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 3: I don't want to clone you, sure, yeah, we. 647 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 1: Can do it. 648 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 3: If we're cloning, why not just coming up come up 649 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 3: with teleportation? 650 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 1: Oh you know what? Yeah, hey, all you clone nerds, 651 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 1: why don't we get off of clones and start working 652 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:30,080 Speaker 1: on teleporting exactly way better. Yeah, I'm trying to bully 653 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 1: the cloning people into thinking that clones are so uncool 654 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 1: that they have to do teleprodus. 655 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 3: I think you how to do it anyway. 656 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 1: I can't keep that better than edit. Let's go to 657 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: the edit. I spoke with my boyfriend about the situation 658 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:46,040 Speaker 1: and have decided to not move in until I'm ready smart, 659 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,400 Speaker 1: So I will be keeping my apartment. Also, I will 660 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 1: not devote my spare time to doing housework there alone anymore, 661 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: since it's too stressful and takes away from me doing 662 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:56,920 Speaker 1: things for myself. 663 00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 3: Wait, you were sorry? Wait you were doing housework for 664 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:03,080 Speaker 3: a place that she doesn't even live in. What also 665 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 3: that like they've given her no like creative autonomy, you know, 666 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 3: like she's not had any of the creative decisions where. 667 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, unless you move into this house right 668 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 1: now with me and my brother and his wife then 669 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 1: clearly you don't want this relationship to continue. Yeah, it's 670 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,840 Speaker 1: such like a weird logical jump, like there's just a 671 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 1: hole there that the logic is falling into. Yep, we 672 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,400 Speaker 1: will revisit the idea of me moving in sometime in 673 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 1: the future, but we have no hard date on it. 674 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,760 Speaker 1: I've been reading all the replies and I really appreciate 675 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 1: the different perspectives. And we have an update. 676 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:45,040 Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. We're gonna get 677 00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 2: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads 678 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:47,480 Speaker 2: from our sponsors. 679 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:48,960 Speaker 1: Thoughts. 680 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 3: I'm the same ones that I've already said, don't move 681 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 3: in here. I mean, I think the problem here is 682 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 3: that they want you to move in, but also they 683 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,240 Speaker 3: don't want to give you any like, say over anything. 684 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:02,760 Speaker 1: Right, which I guess, and also they want you to 685 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 1: clean things to some extent. It makes sense because I 686 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:10,680 Speaker 1: think it was like a family house or something. 687 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,880 Speaker 3: And it's you know, so immediacy of having her move in. 688 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: Right, That's the thing that it makes sense where they're like, well, 689 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 1: this is like our family house. So it's like, if 690 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,440 Speaker 1: you're not married into the family, it makes sense you 691 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 1: wouldn't be on the title or deed or whatever. But also, 692 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,920 Speaker 1: because you're not married to me and in our family, 693 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,960 Speaker 1: it also makes sense for me to not tell you 694 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 1: it's something you have to do. Yeah, or the relationships 695 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,480 Speaker 1: over exactly. Yeah, there's an update here. Hope it makes sense. 696 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,120 Speaker 1: This is a good update. Actually, this is a good 697 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,480 Speaker 1: what is it? This is good? This is good news. Mark, 698 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:48,520 Speaker 1: I made a steak. You made a steak. Yes, I 699 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,240 Speaker 1: I will not elaborate. This is a good update. Actually, 700 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,880 Speaker 1: So it's been a little over three months since I 701 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 1: posted to quickly recap. My boyfriend had purchased a house 702 00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 1: with his brother and sister in law about a year 703 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 1: a go, just a few months before I was in 704 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 1: a relationship with him, so I had no say in 705 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 1: the matter since I was not around. 706 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,920 Speaker 3: Also kind of crazy, not like now that we're revisiting 707 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:15,480 Speaker 3: that information, kind of crazy that he's insisting that she 708 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:22,000 Speaker 3: move in when the relationship is seemingly only less than 709 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,320 Speaker 3: a year old. Yeah, he's saying that she has to 710 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 3: move in after like less than a year a relationship 711 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,080 Speaker 3: or the relationship is over. 712 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 1: What I think. It's not an explicit ultimatum, but it's 713 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,160 Speaker 1: more like implied. That's what he had been putting out 714 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:41,720 Speaker 1: there a big four family Victorian that they wanted to 715 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,920 Speaker 1: convert into a two family, with the majority of the 716 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 1: space and house decisions going to his brother. Obviously, I 717 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,560 Speaker 1: wasn't okay with this arrangement for a multitude of reasons, 718 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: but there wasn't much I could do besides voice my input. 719 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,240 Speaker 1: After reading through all of your responses on my original post, 720 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 1: which I was super appreciative of, I decided to hold 721 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 1: off on moving in with him. It was not a 722 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 1: situation I wanted to move into immediately until I got 723 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,880 Speaker 1: a better feel of how things would go between him 724 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,799 Speaker 1: and his brother and the house. I also have a 725 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:10,840 Speaker 1: very nice apartment and do not want to give that 726 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 1: up so fast. My boyfriend was definitely a bit bummed 727 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,080 Speaker 1: when I told him, but he understood. So I decided 728 00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,080 Speaker 1: to wait things out and see if my boyfriend would 729 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,400 Speaker 1: naturally come to terms with the fact that long term, 730 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,280 Speaker 1: it wouldn't be a good decision for us as a couple. 731 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 1: A few of you had said since his heart was 732 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:28,879 Speaker 1: invested in the house, there wasn't much persuasion I could 733 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 1: have on him. I didn't push him on anything. I 734 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 1: just let his brother's bad decisions in my boundaries do 735 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 1: the talking. For example, if we were to move into 736 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,439 Speaker 1: the upstairs unit together, my boyfriend originally wanted to open 737 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,200 Speaker 1: up a door to the other side into the brother's unit. 738 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 1: He said the brother wouldn't come through and that it 739 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:49,680 Speaker 1: would be private for us. I firmly disagreed and lamented 740 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,719 Speaker 1: on the current facts of how the situation is downstairs 741 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,800 Speaker 1: with the same kind of hotel door pathway to his side, 742 00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,719 Speaker 1: where the dogs are barking and there's an invasion of 743 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,200 Speaker 1: pride and it's not exactly our space. He eventually agreed 744 00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,120 Speaker 1: to not open up the door and only have the 745 00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:08,239 Speaker 1: front door aka a normal house, not a hotel. His 746 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,480 Speaker 1: brother is also pretty rash, so he frequently will start 747 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,399 Speaker 1: up drama with him through text messages. Just last week, 748 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 1: his brother decided to text him and basically said, I 749 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 1: don't think the house is going to work out. I'm 750 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,719 Speaker 1: not going to be happy with the house, with how 751 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,640 Speaker 1: things are going now. You are at girlfriend's house all 752 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 1: the time. She just wants her own private getaway. She 753 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: doesn't seem to get along with the dogs, et cetera, 754 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:32,680 Speaker 1: to which my boyfriend said, yes, I think it would 755 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,480 Speaker 1: be healthier for me and girlfriend to get our own house. Therefore, 756 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 1: there is no more talk of us moving into that 757 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 1: house permanently. That's still, I think, not the right. What 758 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:44,360 Speaker 1: are we doing? Are we ready to move into to 759 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:46,920 Speaker 1: the house? Are we ready for home ownership together? 760 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:50,040 Speaker 3: No? Why are we ready for? Why are we even 761 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 3: thinking about home ownership? 762 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 1: Yeather? Are we doing this just because we're like, well, 763 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,399 Speaker 1: I couldn't afford a home on my own? 764 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,000 Speaker 3: Yeah? Whoa Not a thing makes suys Opie. If you're 765 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 3: uncomfortable with the idea, it's your instinct saying no. 766 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 1: Yes, you still don't have to go buy a house 767 00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:08,759 Speaker 1: with your boyfriend just because he doesn't want to live 768 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:09,400 Speaker 1: with his brother. 769 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,919 Speaker 3: Now, dude, it's been under a year. 770 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:16,560 Speaker 1: Very very weird, very very very weird. So I was 771 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:21,520 Speaker 1: so relieved it came from his brother because I did 772 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:25,000 Speaker 1: not have to push him out of it. His brother did, which, FYI, 773 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,680 Speaker 1: my boyfriend is only at my apartment one or two 774 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:32,040 Speaker 1: nights a week. Max. I am super allergic to the dogs. Wait, 775 00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,560 Speaker 1: so yeah, I avoid them. So she's allergic, yo, that's 776 00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,120 Speaker 1: huge information. Allergic. 777 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,200 Speaker 3: She hates dogs, she's allergic. 778 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, she's allergic. Yes, Oh my goodness, what is it? 779 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 1: Why are the dogs there? And he does he's a 780 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 1: dog breeder? 781 00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,560 Speaker 3: No, and they just have dogs, all right. 782 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 1: I know he's a vet. It was because he's a 783 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:54,560 Speaker 1: vet slash dog beaeder. Yes, and yes, I want my 784 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,759 Speaker 1: house to be my private getaway. I don't know why 785 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,239 Speaker 1: he painted that in a negative tone. Yeah, he's like 786 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:00,279 Speaker 1: she want. 787 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,600 Speaker 3: She wants her own space in New York. 788 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 1: I don't think so. Hey, bro, I don't know if 789 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,880 Speaker 1: you caught onto this, but she doesn't think like I do, 790 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 1: so watch your back. 791 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:13,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 792 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,960 Speaker 1: My boyfriend actually was relieved too. Now our talks have 793 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,320 Speaker 1: switched to us coming together as a couple and figuring 794 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:21,800 Speaker 1: out how to save up for a house in two years, 795 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,880 Speaker 1: which fixed my concern of thinking he only cared about 796 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 1: the house in the first place. Although I got a 797 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 1: vent a bit, I am bummed at his brother essentially 798 00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 1: stole this time from him and money as well. He 799 00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:34,600 Speaker 1: had money for a home before he put it all 800 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:37,120 Speaker 1: on this one. Now we have to wait for his 801 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 1: brother to pay back his share. Also, he can't be 802 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,520 Speaker 1: considered on another mortgage until they refinance the house and 803 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,799 Speaker 1: remove him in two years. That sucks. I do make 804 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 1: a good salary and have excellent credit, so I could 805 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,120 Speaker 1: potentially qualify for a mortgage on my own. We just 806 00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,359 Speaker 1: need to wait, save, and pray that the New York 807 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,480 Speaker 1: housing market simmers down. It just sucks that his brother 808 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,920 Speaker 1: has really come in between him starting his own life. 809 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:05,080 Speaker 1: That's how it feels. At least feels one sided, like 810 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:06,920 Speaker 1: his brother seemed to call all the shots, and now 811 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,120 Speaker 1: my boyfriend is paying for it, like literally and figuratively, 812 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 1: he is paying for it. At this point, the issues 813 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,960 Speaker 1: are financial. His brother's a vet who makes more than 814 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,279 Speaker 1: double what my boyfriend makes, yet he doesn't pay most 815 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,640 Speaker 1: of the mortgage. My boyfriend has been floating most of 816 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,560 Speaker 1: the mortgage payments paying for a new roof. Blah blah 817 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: blah blah blah. He can't pay off his credit cards 818 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 1: because of the money tied to paying the roof. They 819 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,960 Speaker 1: are all essentially in a financial hardspot. Overall, though this 820 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,239 Speaker 1: is excellent news. I'm just glad I won't have to 821 00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 1: move in there forever. My boyfriend would still like me 822 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 1: to move into his apartment soon though, for the meantime 823 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,319 Speaker 1: to help us save up. You don't have to do that. 824 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,719 Speaker 1: You don't have to do that. I'm still on the 825 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,759 Speaker 1: fence because I don't like the situation. 826 00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,080 Speaker 3: If you're on the fence, don't don't do it. 827 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,600 Speaker 1: If you know what you want, get what you want, 828 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:53,720 Speaker 1: not what you don't. 829 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,399 Speaker 3: For the love of God, like super excited to move 830 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:57,520 Speaker 3: in or don't do it. 831 00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,480 Speaker 1: We were going to do a month trial run of 832 00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,399 Speaker 1: me staying over see what issues I have and fix 833 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,680 Speaker 1: them before I move in. Or I just say no 834 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,919 Speaker 1: entirely and don't move in. He's in a financial pinch 835 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,720 Speaker 1: right now, but I don't want to move in based 836 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,400 Speaker 1: on that alone, even though it would be temporary, but 837 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,879 Speaker 1: two years is quite a long time. I would rather 838 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,040 Speaker 1: pay the rent at my place for my own sanity. 839 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,640 Speaker 1: And by the way, you can listen to full episodes 840 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,880 Speaker 1: with stories just like this for your sanity. All you 841 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,200 Speaker 1: have to do is go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts 842 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:30,560 Speaker 1: or iHeartRadio really any podcast platform and search okay storytime Yeah, 843 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:34,520 Speaker 1: and there you will find all of our words and 844 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: you can listen to it to your heart sings. 845 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,839 Speaker 3: My advice is, girl, don't don't let anyone pressure you 846 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,239 Speaker 3: into doing something that you don't feel ready for. You 847 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,719 Speaker 3: have been in this relationship, it seems for less than 848 00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,680 Speaker 3: a year it is okay for you to be like, hey, 849 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,640 Speaker 3: maybe we're not ready to move in together. Yeah, and 850 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:59,040 Speaker 3: him going on, you know, all these different directions to 851 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,680 Speaker 3: try and get you to move in with them. Weird, 852 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,360 Speaker 3: a little sketchy, little sketchy, a little sketchy. 853 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:07,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. And to boyfriend, why are you letting your brother 854 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:08,720 Speaker 1: just like run over you dude? 855 00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:11,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, and for yourself, it's your money too, 856 00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,799 Speaker 3: go on, have a voice, have a voice, speak up. 857 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,960 Speaker 1: Let's finish this story. Edit. I think there's some confusion 858 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,000 Speaker 1: based on some of the replies I've read. My boyfriend 859 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,440 Speaker 1: still lives in the house they bought together. He's not 860 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,680 Speaker 1: being removed. He will still live there until me and 861 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,279 Speaker 1: him were to find a place to call home. So 862 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,880 Speaker 1: he's staying there and I'm staying at my apartment until 863 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,120 Speaker 1: we make a decision on if I move in with 864 00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,920 Speaker 1: him or vice versa, or if we just stay put 865 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,080 Speaker 1: where we are. There's not there's no rushing that part. 866 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,040 Speaker 1: So the good about this update is we plan on 867 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,200 Speaker 1: buying our own home in the future together if all 868 00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:48,520 Speaker 1: goes well. Him and the brother are trying to work 869 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,320 Speaker 1: through the issues and that. 870 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:52,600 Speaker 3: There we get a storys there we go. 871 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 1: I guess she's pretty serious about it. If she's basically 872 00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,719 Speaker 1: talking about, like buying a house with this guy's a 873 00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,440 Speaker 1: foregone conclusion. 874 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,880 Speaker 3: But she seems like still hesitant. The only reason that 875 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,080 Speaker 3: I feel like she's bringing up is because he keeps bringing. 876 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:07,160 Speaker 1: Up Yeah, I don't know. Don't don't do things because 877 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,600 Speaker 1: you're like supposed to on paper, or because someone else. 878 00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,399 Speaker 3: Is saying, oh, it's a great idea, Like if you're 879 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,480 Speaker 3: if your gut saying oh, I don't know, I don't 880 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:15,239 Speaker 3: know if I'm ready for that. 881 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, rus your gut. You can't just walk into a 882 00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,719 Speaker 1: sketchy situation because someone is telling Indians feel it in 883 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:28,799 Speaker 1: your heart, in your soul. But that is the end 884 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,279 Speaker 1: to that story. Story. And are you doing we got 885 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,239 Speaker 1: one more? Okay, we're doing one the more. Hey, it's 886 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:36,960 Speaker 1: John you og host here. We're gonna get back to 887 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,600 Speaker 1: the stories. But here's a quick three minute break of 888 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:39,880 Speaker 1: aspimor sponsors. 889 00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,600 Speaker 3: My family treated my sister badly during my graduation. 890 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:48,799 Speaker 1: I'm planning to leave, so I'm to graduate. Backstory. 891 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,920 Speaker 3: My sister, let's call her Rain And I almost misread 892 00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,839 Speaker 3: that as Raisin h is the oldest out of three. 893 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,120 Speaker 3: Our mother has never liked her for various reasons, the 894 00:41:58,160 --> 00:41:59,959 Speaker 3: main one being that Rain is the one who ruined 895 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,399 Speaker 3: her teenage years. My mom had her at sixteen and 896 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,240 Speaker 3: was and very obviously resents her for this. Oh really, 897 00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 3: it's the child's fault. 898 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:11,360 Speaker 1: Right, It's the kids fault that her life got uh ruined, 899 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:12,400 Speaker 1: not her own fault. 900 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,040 Speaker 3: Our family is mostly pro life and anti adoption, so 901 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:19,440 Speaker 3: giving Rain up or terminating her wasn't an option. Because 902 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,799 Speaker 3: of this, our mom has always been very cold to 903 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:24,359 Speaker 3: our sister. By the way, this comes from she who 904 00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 3: wanders and if you want to sumit your own stories, 905 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,120 Speaker 3: go to the r slash. Okay, storytime subbured it. 906 00:42:28,239 --> 00:42:30,319 Speaker 1: Damn really quickly. Can I just say so your mom's 907 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,160 Speaker 1: always been a piece of shit? That's crazy? Yeah did 908 00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,480 Speaker 1: you say that? Sorry? 909 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,680 Speaker 3: Rain is all so different. She's Wicca like myself and 910 00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,520 Speaker 3: mainly listens to really heavy metal and pet's nude how 911 00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:45,520 Speaker 3: scandalous women in her free time. Our mom tried everything 912 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,440 Speaker 3: to punish Rain and mold her into a normal woman. 913 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,399 Speaker 1: It didn't work, and it. 914 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,920 Speaker 3: Just caused Rain to have some pretty bad self esteem issues. 915 00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,880 Speaker 3: When Rain turned eighteen, she fled to go live with 916 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,960 Speaker 3: our dad and never looked back. Mom acted like she 917 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,520 Speaker 3: never existed, and sadly, she made her lives a whole 918 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,120 Speaker 3: lot better once Rain was out of the picture. Rain 919 00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:08,400 Speaker 3: graduated last year and my mom refused to show up 920 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,000 Speaker 3: or let us show up. She sent Rain a passive 921 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,440 Speaker 3: aggressive card, and that was that. Rain was really upset 922 00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,760 Speaker 3: from what I heard, and was inconsolable for a few days. 923 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,120 Speaker 3: She told me she felt unloved and worthless. It was 924 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,719 Speaker 3: heartbreaking to hear her say those things, and I did 925 00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,400 Speaker 3: my best to comfort her. She got better, but I 926 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,759 Speaker 3: can tell she hasn't really recovered from that. After that, 927 00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,399 Speaker 3: she got a boyfriend and went no contact with our mom. 928 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,280 Speaker 3: She moved several states away to live with her boyfriend, 929 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,680 Speaker 3: best friend, and best friend's husband. She's a lot happier now, 930 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:42,400 Speaker 3: or at least was until yesterday. Fast forward to yesterday. 931 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,279 Speaker 3: Rain surprised us all when she came to my graduation. 932 00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:48,400 Speaker 3: She drove all the way from northern Wisconsin to southern 933 00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:52,320 Speaker 3: Texas and it was an amazing surprise. I literally cried 934 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,640 Speaker 3: when I saw her, and it really made my big 935 00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,000 Speaker 3: day so much better. 936 00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:01,200 Speaker 1: Mom, Well, let's just first, you've got a good sibling. 937 00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:01,719 Speaker 1: That's good. 938 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:07,080 Speaker 3: Mom wasn't happy to see her and started nitpicking on 939 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,840 Speaker 3: what Rain was wearing. Rain ignored her and gave me 940 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,040 Speaker 3: a hug before excusing herself to a seat. The ceremony 941 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:16,319 Speaker 3: itself came and went without fuss. Here's your diploma, get 942 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,520 Speaker 3: the f out kind of ordeal ah. Afterwards, my mom 943 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,320 Speaker 3: was throwing a huge celebration party for me and my friends. 944 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,879 Speaker 3: Her friends also attended. I invited Rain and it took 945 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,759 Speaker 3: a lot of convincing to get her to go. I 946 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:33,799 Speaker 3: really wish I hadn't. Rain arrived a bit early and 947 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,279 Speaker 3: had issues parking her car. My stepdad was making fun 948 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:40,120 Speaker 3: of her big time. Her car is a standard and 949 00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,800 Speaker 3: she's still getting the hang of it. She can't parallel 950 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:46,200 Speaker 3: park to save her life. My stepdad said something really 951 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:49,719 Speaker 3: offensive and I went inside. My friends really like Rain 952 00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,239 Speaker 3: and were really excited to see her as well. The 953 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,480 Speaker 3: only people who weren't excited to see Rain was my mom, 954 00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,160 Speaker 3: stepdad and the family friends. They kept whispering about her 955 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:02,920 Speaker 3: like middle schoo whenever she wasn't around. It was embarrassing. 956 00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,680 Speaker 1: Why why is it? Why are they acting like it 957 00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:09,279 Speaker 1: was like, it's like scandalous, and Rain decided to be 958 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,080 Speaker 1: born spy her own mother. 959 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:15,240 Speaker 3: What is this attitude? When the party started, Rain brought 960 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,800 Speaker 3: several large pans of her amazing brownies and her graduation 961 00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,800 Speaker 3: present for me. That's so lovely. I felt really bad 962 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,920 Speaker 3: because our mom's family had done fall for her graduation 963 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,440 Speaker 3: and here she was going out of her way to 964 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,239 Speaker 3: bring me stuff and visit. I mean, just focus on 965 00:45:30,239 --> 00:45:32,400 Speaker 3: the fact that you too have a great relationship. 966 00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:33,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, you didn't. 967 00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:36,439 Speaker 3: Seem to mind in the slightest. My mom got really 968 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:40,399 Speaker 3: wasted and flat out started being mean. She called Rain 969 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:43,319 Speaker 3: a horde of names and said Rain had gotten even 970 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,800 Speaker 3: more gross than when she had last seen the poor girl. 971 00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,480 Speaker 3: I got pissed and told my mom to knock that 972 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:51,360 Speaker 3: crap off, and proceeded to tell her that Rain was 973 00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,080 Speaker 3: family and she would be treated as such. My mom 974 00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,960 Speaker 3: got pissed and she told me that Rain wasn't a 975 00:45:55,960 --> 00:46:00,400 Speaker 3: haffing mistake. You're anffing mistake, Mom, You suck. Mom also 976 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:03,359 Speaker 3: told me that Rain would never be true family, just 977 00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:06,160 Speaker 3: a nuisance and a burden. So that's when I kick 978 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:06,440 Speaker 3: her out. 979 00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:10,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I'm like immediately in that moment, disowning 980 00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:11,919 Speaker 1: my family right there. 981 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,960 Speaker 3: Yep. Sadly, Rain overheard this, and I could tell it 982 00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:18,520 Speaker 3: really hurt her. My mom's equally as wasted friend agreed, 983 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,000 Speaker 3: saying it was a shame because Rain is smart but 984 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:24,560 Speaker 3: a complete loser. I cannot believe that this is happening. 985 00:46:24,640 --> 00:46:27,760 Speaker 3: This is beyond anything Mom's ever done. She has always 986 00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:31,200 Speaker 3: been mean to Rain, but never like this. Needless to say, 987 00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:33,880 Speaker 3: the day was ruined. When Rain brought out her brownies 988 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,240 Speaker 3: for me, my mom yelled at her to stop stealing 989 00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:40,360 Speaker 3: the spotlight. Rain is an excellent baker. I loved the brownies, 990 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:42,200 Speaker 3: but my mom told Rain to throw it away or 991 00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:44,560 Speaker 3: get it off, get at the f off the table. 992 00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:47,960 Speaker 3: Before she did it herself. Rain was just gone. All 993 00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,799 Speaker 3: I saw was an empty, depressed shell, wandering around and 994 00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 3: trying to get task done like a robot. I seriously 995 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:57,440 Speaker 3: wondered if I was in some crappy soap opera or dreaming, 996 00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,879 Speaker 3: because this was just eft in so many ways. Pop, 997 00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,040 Speaker 3: I don't know what the f my mom's problem is. 998 00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,320 Speaker 3: She's a sad, angry. 999 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:10,680 Speaker 1: You know, she's a person broken little wench of a lady. 1000 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, she just she's so unhappy with how her life 1001 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,160 Speaker 3: is going that she has to take it out on 1002 00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:15,879 Speaker 3: everyone else. 1003 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,200 Speaker 1: Well, it's weird because it doesn't feel like she's taking 1004 00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,600 Speaker 1: out on OP. It feels like it's all directed. It's Rain, Yeah, 1005 00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,920 Speaker 1: which is I don't get she's scape going Rain. 1006 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,040 Speaker 3: Rain left the food hidden in my room and left 1007 00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:30,320 Speaker 3: her gift with it. Nobody noticed, thank god, so nobody 1008 00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:33,480 Speaker 3: sabotaged her efforts. If you didn't say another word the 1009 00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:36,799 Speaker 3: entire time until my mom really pulled some fed up 1010 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,560 Speaker 3: crap no more, I would have left. 1011 00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,000 Speaker 1: I would have left. Well this is isn't this your 1012 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:43,799 Speaker 1: graduation like OPI? This is for Op. 1013 00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:45,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm saying if I was Rain, I would have left. 1014 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,000 Speaker 3: If I was Ope, I would have taken Rain and left. 1015 00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,600 Speaker 1: If I'm OP, I stand up on the table, I 1016 00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:54,600 Speaker 1: stomp my feet, and I clean my glass, and I 1017 00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:58,680 Speaker 1: say everyone's attention please. Yeah, my mother is a creature 1018 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,799 Speaker 1: from the black legal yep, and I no longer see 1019 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:03,000 Speaker 1: her as my mother. Yep. 1020 00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,840 Speaker 3: The sona right there. After a couple hours, food was 1021 00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:08,680 Speaker 3: ready and we were all super hungry. Rain got her food, 1022 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,320 Speaker 3: sat down next to me, and ate in total silence. 1023 00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,160 Speaker 3: My sister is a bouncy, cheerful, chatty woman. Normally. This 1024 00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,400 Speaker 3: was ruining my day, so I tried to keep my 1025 00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,480 Speaker 3: mom away from her. When I went inside to do 1026 00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:21,319 Speaker 3: a couple things, I came back out to my mom 1027 00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,400 Speaker 3: yelling at Rain tackle her. She said horrible things to 1028 00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:26,520 Speaker 3: my sister and rubbed the fact that she would never 1029 00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,760 Speaker 3: have something like this in her entire life in her face. 1030 00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:32,279 Speaker 3: Rain was crying and I screamed at my mom to 1031 00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:34,320 Speaker 3: shut the f up. I told my mom she was 1032 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:36,879 Speaker 3: a crappy mother and how dare she treat her own 1033 00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:39,520 Speaker 3: child like that. Momm yelled back at me, saying Rain 1034 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,920 Speaker 3: would never be her child and that she wished Rain 1035 00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:45,839 Speaker 3: would just f off already. Everyone got silent. Rain gave 1036 00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,040 Speaker 3: me a hug, told me she loved me, then grabbed 1037 00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:49,920 Speaker 3: her dog that she had to leave behind when she 1038 00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,480 Speaker 3: first moved out and left. 1039 00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:52,719 Speaker 1: I was furious. 1040 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,480 Speaker 3: My friends and I left after telling Mom how horrible 1041 00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:57,440 Speaker 3: she was, and tried to catch up with my sister. 1042 00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,520 Speaker 3: It was pointless that we turned around and went back home. 1043 00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,200 Speaker 3: She was speeding big time and got too far away 1044 00:49:03,239 --> 00:49:05,880 Speaker 3: to reasonably follow. Rain has not spoken to any of 1045 00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,400 Speaker 3: us since. She hasn't been on Facebook and her boyfriend 1046 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:11,080 Speaker 3: said she made it home fine, but instantly went to 1047 00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,560 Speaker 3: bed and hasn't woken up since she got there. I 1048 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,640 Speaker 3: don't know what to do. Her mom is pretending like 1049 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,759 Speaker 3: nothing happened and fakes confusion when I angrily confront her 1050 00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:22,600 Speaker 3: about the bs she pulled yesterday. I'm so so lost. 1051 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:23,879 Speaker 1: Rain is a. 1052 00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:27,520 Speaker 3: Wonderful and amazing sister. She didn't do anything to deserve 1053 00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:31,120 Speaker 3: any of that. Between crying and being angry, I haven't 1054 00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:32,879 Speaker 3: been able to figure out what to do from here. 1055 00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,160 Speaker 3: What can I do to help Rain? I love her 1056 00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,399 Speaker 3: a lot, and I really look up to her. She's 1057 00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,560 Speaker 3: an amazing person and it really effed me up to 1058 00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,840 Speaker 3: see her be treated like this by our own family. 1059 00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:45,319 Speaker 3: I know she needs my support, but I don't know 1060 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,200 Speaker 3: how to help. And there is an update. But oh, Pee, 1061 00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:51,120 Speaker 3: you help her by being there for her, Yeah, by 1062 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:53,359 Speaker 3: letting her know that you love her, and by telling 1063 00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,880 Speaker 3: your mom to f off and to never talk to 1064 00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,719 Speaker 3: you again, right until she can freaking get her head 1065 00:49:58,719 --> 00:49:59,040 Speaker 3: out her. 1066 00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:03,800 Speaker 1: But know how much you support her, yeah, and how 1067 00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:07,560 Speaker 1: appalled you were by all these untrue things your mom 1068 00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:08,000 Speaker 1: was saying. 1069 00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:10,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know that's all you can do. 1070 00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:13,040 Speaker 1: And probably encourage her to like talk to account or 1071 00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:16,719 Speaker 1: a therapist about it, because you know it's unfortunate. You know, 1072 00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:18,360 Speaker 1: my mom will probably hate that I say this, but 1073 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,239 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, they don't mean too a lot 1074 00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:24,319 Speaker 1: of times. Most times I may even say, but a 1075 00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,840 Speaker 1: lot of our issues just stem from our upbringing and 1076 00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:30,680 Speaker 1: our parents in our childhoods, And it's like, you got 1077 00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:32,359 Speaker 1: to get an addressed, you know. 1078 00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:36,080 Speaker 3: Indeed, but there is an update. So I finally got 1079 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:38,880 Speaker 3: a hold of Rain after a surprisingly short amount of time. 1080 00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:42,399 Speaker 3: Apparently this was normal behavior displayed by mom to her 1081 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,359 Speaker 3: when we were growing up. My brother of fifteen, Mail 1082 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:48,680 Speaker 3: and I never noticed it, but we understand now better 1083 00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,440 Speaker 3: late than ever, I guess. I talked to Rain and 1084 00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,400 Speaker 3: offered my support. You appreciated it, and we had a 1085 00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,520 Speaker 3: really deep conversation. I found out a lot of really 1086 00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,040 Speaker 3: terrible crap that my mom had done to her, and 1087 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,120 Speaker 3: it's pushing me closer to moving out. The only thing 1088 00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,440 Speaker 3: stopping me is fear of my mother and for my brother. Honestly, 1089 00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:10,760 Speaker 3: I think that's understandable though, By the way, I understand 1090 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:13,120 Speaker 3: that you can listen to full episodes of stories just 1091 00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:16,879 Speaker 3: like this just go to Spotify, Apple podcast, or iHeartRadio 1092 00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:18,960 Speaker 3: and search a Pocus story time. But there is a 1093 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,080 Speaker 3: little bit left to this story. Any final thought. 1094 00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:25,040 Speaker 1: If you have if your brother, I being a concern 1095 00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:29,759 Speaker 1: for your brother is definitely understandable, I would suggest, as 1096 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,160 Speaker 1: he even said, he's starting to see now like, hey, 1097 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:33,399 Speaker 1: that was really messed up. 1098 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:34,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1099 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,680 Speaker 1: There have been situations where I've had good friends stay 1100 00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,279 Speaker 1: my ales when I was you know that age, and 1101 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:43,160 Speaker 1: your mom's just all talk. She's just a bag of 1102 00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:45,839 Speaker 1: hot air that if you stand right next to it, yeah, 1103 00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:47,680 Speaker 1: I can burn you. But it's just like if you 1104 00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:49,560 Speaker 1: just get a little bit of distance, it's just like 1105 00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:52,520 Speaker 1: a breeze. What is she gonna do? Tell you how 1106 00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:54,600 Speaker 1: much you suck? Like, that's great, you know that you don't. 1107 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:58,120 Speaker 3: It's a great example. Thankfully, I learned that Rain is 1108 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:00,720 Speaker 3: in therapy and getting help. You said, it really helps. 1109 00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,919 Speaker 3: But mom's comments are still hurtful and offensive. That's why 1110 00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,560 Speaker 3: she cried. I told her not to worry, because showing 1111 00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:09,000 Speaker 3: emotion is just part of being human. Boom. 1112 00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:10,040 Speaker 1: Rain is also. 1113 00:52:09,840 --> 00:52:12,480 Speaker 3: Planning on helping fund my move out when my friends 1114 00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,200 Speaker 3: and I can find a place. She and I both 1115 00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:18,319 Speaker 3: want me out of that toxic environment. What mom did 1116 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,319 Speaker 3: and is done to rain makes me literally nauseous. I 1117 00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:23,200 Speaker 3: may be overacting, but it's bad to me. 1118 00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:26,200 Speaker 1: Oh no, you're not reacting. It's nauseating. 1119 00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,520 Speaker 3: You're not over reacting at all. 1120 00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,760 Speaker 1: It was a nauseating from like paragraph yeah one. 1121 00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,839 Speaker 3: But folks said, that is the end of that story. 1122 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,800 Speaker 1: And the end of this episode and the end of 1123 00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:38,359 Speaker 1: the stream. Kean, please tell me you have an act 1124 00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:38,840 Speaker 1: a lot already. 1125 00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,320 Speaker 3: And thank you for the ten bucks. I just feel 1126 00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:43,760 Speaker 3: like it you worked hard. That's very sweet. 1127 00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,640 Speaker 1: Also, yes, thank you. That was very sweet, so sweet. 1128 00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:49,560 Speaker 1: I really appreciate that boy he's in my hand. 1129 00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:54,160 Speaker 3: And then for stand along with us. My stomach is 1130 00:52:54,200 --> 00:53:00,440 Speaker 3: growling like smart. But folks, that's the end of that story, 1131 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:02,719 Speaker 3: the end of this episode. 1132 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:03,879 Speaker 1: And the end of this stream. 1133 00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:07,080 Speaker 3: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We 1134 00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:09,799 Speaker 3: love you and see you tomorrow.