WEBVTT - Caring for Your Newborn w/ Alexandra Latten Argosino 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:05.520 Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shonda land Audio 0:00:05.600 --> 0:00:08.440 in partnership with I Heart Radio. But my O B 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:13.440 I couldn't believe how many babies she has coming. Parents 0:00:13.440 --> 0:00:17.280 have done more than just watch Netflix during this spect year. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.720 Hi everybody, and welcome back to Katie's Crib. I have 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:31.120 been wanting to do an episode on night nurses for 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:34.800 a long time. There are a lot of myths about it. 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:36.640 What the heck are they doing all night? What's a 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:40.200 night nurse? What's a postpartum duela? What's a newborn care specialist? 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:42.720 What's a baby nurse? How are they different? How are 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:44.680 they the same? And I was like, I gotta get 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:48.080 Alexandra in here because she was my newborn care specialist 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:51.680 with Vera. She was here for fourteen nights of Vera's 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.240 first I guess we were home the third night of 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:56.760 her life, so the first seventeen days of her life 0:00:56.800 --> 0:00:58.800 she was here at my house. Let me tell you 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:01.680 a little bit about alex Andrew Latin Argosino. She is 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:04.360 a newborn care specialist in a postpartum doulah. She has 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:07.520 several years of experience taking care of hundreds of newborns 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:10.200 as a babysitter, a summer oh pair and nanny, and 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.440 a nurse. She recently started a blog in a podcast 0:01:13.480 --> 0:01:17.000 herself called Babies in Business, which is a source created 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:20.440 for other newborn care professionals to share information, education, inspiration 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:23.040 and motivation. She was born and raised in Europe, in 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:26.120 the Netherlands and graduated with a nursing decree, and from 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:30.119 setting routines with your baby to sleep training to being 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:34.240 there for you in the most vulnerable times in a 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:37.600 new mom's life, she is the one to call. So 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:42.760 welcome Alexandra Latin Argansino to Katie's Crib. Thank you so 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:45.720 much for in finding me as a guest on your 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:50.559 amazing podcast. It's an absolute pleasure to talk with you, 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:55.280 and I'm so excited to share a little bit more 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:58.440 about my work and tell me where you're from, so 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:02.120 everyone knows how this stunning accent came to be. I 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:06.400 was born and raised in the Netherlands, that little country 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:11.760 from the wooden shoes and cheese and wind meals. She came. 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:15.840 I interviewed one person and it was her to take 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:18.679 care and help me and my daughter. And she came 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:22.200 in and she's also beautiful. You were in your scrubs 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:25.280 and your accent behind a mask, and I was like, 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.360 can you please just take care of me and my 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:30.680 newborn baby, which I have not yet met. Okay, my 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:33.920 first question for you is do you call yourself a 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:37.400 night nurse? Is that what you say you are? No? See, 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:42.079 I'm already messing up. I would like to briefly touch 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:46.080 on the title night nurse. The title night nurse is 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:49.960 actually not the correct title. For many years we were 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:54.359 known as a night nurse or commonly known baby nurse, 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:58.519 but many in our industry are not a nurse, and 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.960 it is illegal to call yourself a nurse when you 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:06.400 don't have a nursing degree. So in two thousand seven, 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:12.360 in a National Nanny Association invented this title. Created this 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:18.040 title Newborn Care Specialists for those who are supporting parents, 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:23.920 specifically during the transition into parenthood, those first few weeks 0:03:24.040 --> 0:03:27.920 or months after birth. So that brings me back to 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:34.760 your question. We are here to support, serve, guide, and 0:03:35.480 --> 0:03:40.080 most importantly, to educate parents in all aspects of newborn 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:44.880 care and help them become confident and well equipped with 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:49.360 plentiful of resources. Can you believe this? Ladies and gentlemen, 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:51.640 I mean, when I hear you speak about what it 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:55.120 is you do, I'm like, come back, not for vera, 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:58.640 but for me. Okay, so you go by a night 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:02.360 nurse because you are a nurse as well. So let 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:05.880 it be known that not all newborn care specialists have 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:10.240 a nursing degree. Correct, And if that is something important 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:12.680 to you or a value to you when you are 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.400 interviewing people who are going to help you take care 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:17.760 of your newborn, if you want them to be a 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.520 night nurse with a nursing degree, that that is something 0:04:20.560 --> 0:04:23.919 you ask about. Yes, So, okay, there's a night nurse, 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:29.360 baby nurse, newborn care specialist, postpartum doula. These all sort 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:33.880 of get confused. I think we can completely forget about 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.560 night nurse and baby nurse. It is bitter and also 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:42.000 more accurate when you refer to people in my industry 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:45.120 as either a new born care specialist or a post 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.160 bottom dula. I refer to myself as a new moon 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:52.240 care specialist, and parents always get that extra medical background 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:56.560 as a bonus, just to you know, limit the confusion. 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:00.680 I love that. Now, how did you come to this 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:04.039 line of work? You know? For me personal it was 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:08.039 a very organic and natural transition UM. I worked as 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:13.320 a nurse and pediatric care and really enjoyed building relationship 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:18.320 with parents and answering their questions, mostly from overwhelmed and 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:23.720 sleep deprived parents. And it's so happened that one of 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:28.400 my closest friends went through a very difficult postpartum phase. 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:35.800 I spontaneously offered my help, and that joyful decision sparked 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:39.440 my desire to work one on one with parents and 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.840 their newborns. And who doesn't love to hold a teeny 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:46.320 tiny baby? Right? How many babies have you cared for 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:49.560 in your career? Would you say? Gosh, I lost count 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:54.520 over the years, but it's definitely over three hundred. Oh 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:57.080 my gosh. You know you came and worked with us 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:59.680 for two weeks, But I would say for the most part, 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:02.600 you you are with families for about three months would 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:06.120 maybe be your average. You know, every family has different 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:12.720 needs and quite frankly, it's also a decision regarding your finances. 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:18.120 So every family you know makes a decision and shares 0:06:18.160 --> 0:06:20.960 their goal with me, and we come up with a 0:06:21.040 --> 0:06:26.480 timeframe according that you know information, but anywhere between two 0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:30.440 weeks and twelve weeks. Sometimes I have parents who want 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:33.719 to really be sure that their baby is sleeping through 0:06:33.760 --> 0:06:36.920 the night, and then I stay sixteen weeks, but twelve 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:42.360 weeks is the average. If you are looking for a 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:46.200 newborn care specialists, a lot of people will interview via 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:50.359 zoom now or in person. What are the three questions 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:52.480 you think you get asked the most when you do 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:56.159 one of these sort of interviews. How long I have 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:01.440 been doing this, how many newborns I have taken care of? 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:09.520 And what I personally understand about supporting parents during this transition, 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:12.840 because you want to be sure as a new parent, 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:18.480 as oftentimes the first time parents, that your parenting philosophy 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:23.200 is lined up with the person you are booking or 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:26.400 hiring to help. You know, guys who are listening. It's 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:30.880 it's a really vulnerable time. You're really in these first 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:35.760 couple of weeks understanding your baby's cues crying and how 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:38.440 much and how little they eat, or what kind of 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:41.640 sleeper they are, Are they gassy? Are they allergic to something? 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:44.760 Here's the good news about someone who's been around three 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:48.200 hundred babies or someone if you're lucky to hire someone 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:49.840 who knows a lot more than you do about this. 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:53.560 It's like you talked me off the ledge like it's 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:57.240 not a big deal this. I've seen this before. She's 0:07:57.280 --> 0:08:00.440 probably allergic to something in your breast milk. And you're right, 0:08:00.720 --> 0:08:02.320 and it's not a big deal. We're already under the 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:05.240 new thing. Let's be honest. It has to be an 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:10.880 energy exchange. You are in such a vulnerable and personal 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:15.440 situation as a new parent or first some parent. You 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:20.080 want someone that you if you're comfortable with, and who 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:25.920 creates that safe environment for you in your home. There's 0:08:25.960 --> 0:08:29.120 a contract that comes along with a newborn care specialist. 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:30.920 Can you tell us a little bit about that? So 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:33.800 when a client thinks that I'm the right fit uh 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:37.240 and books my newborn care services, then we sign a 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:41.400 contract and from that day on I reserve my time 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:46.040 for that one specific client. And every client has different 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:51.040 needs and wants, and it also depends on their individual lifestyle, 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:55.640 which day switch ours, how many weeks they need help. 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:58.880 So for example, in my case, you would show up 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:02.880 at ten pm and leave at eight am. Correct, I 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:07.120 was going into labor with plans of having a vaginal labor, 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:09.599 but I did at the end decide to be induced. 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.880 I just kept texting you like this is when I'm 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:14.840 going into the hospital and you were like, would you 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:16.959 like me there the first night you come home from 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:20.040 the hospital. So for those of you looking at contracts 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.720 and things like that, most newborn care specialists, it's not 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.280 like it starts on this exact day. It's like you 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:28.040 guys are in touch about when the baby is coming, 0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:31.280 because sometimes nobody knows when the baby is coming except 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:35.360 for the baby. Correct And then you are very open, 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.120 which maybe not all are. But you know, what worked 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.199 for us was ten to eight. But I'm sure some 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:43.720 people want to do nine to seven or want to 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:48.959 do you know, different hours seven to seven or twenty 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:53.960 four seven. It's all depends on you know their lifestyle 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:57.160 and you know their priorities. Right there are I have 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:58.760 a friend in the market right now looking for someone. 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:05.400 I'm like, that sounds amazing. I mean, newborn care specialists 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:10.160 book up very far in advance. Yes, I don't know 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:12.960 if that's like that around the country, but it is 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.679 in l A. And I feel like you were booked 0:10:15.720 --> 0:10:19.760 up to like fall of or something like that. Like that. 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:24.200 It's like, typically I'm booked, you know, six months in advance. 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:28.520 You booked me pretty early two and I think that's 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:33.160 the safest to go because when you have to find 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:37.960 someone at a you know, last minute, your options are 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:43.479 very limited. Currently we are in a baby boom COVID. 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:46.600 I went to my checkup at my oh B and 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:48.920 they hang up on the board how many birds she 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:51.840 has coming up? And I was like, oh my god, 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:56.760 I couldn't believe how many babies she has coming. Parents 0:10:56.800 --> 0:11:00.640 have done more than just watch Netflix during this that year. 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:12.920 Take me through what a typical and we can do 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:15.040 one of my nights, but like, what is a typical 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:18.840 night look like? Because I think people get very confused 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:22.040 about like where does the newborn care specialists sleep? And 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:25.720 if I'm breastfeeding, how do they wake me up? And 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:29.000 all of those sort of uncomfortable, weird questions that someone 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.079 who is essentially a stranger who you have a good 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:34.400 vibe with is now staying in your home with your newborn. 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:37.880 So when I arrived at your house, it was always 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:43.720 greeted by your dog Ruger, and those chats with you 0:11:43.840 --> 0:11:47.520 and Adam at the beginning of the night were always fun. 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:51.000 Most parents fill me in about their day and then 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:55.120 I answered their questions, share some tips and tricks and 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:59.000 help them find solutions that works best for them. Basically, 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:02.040 when I arrived, I am in most cases met at 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:06.920 the door by exhausted parents. Um some parents are in 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:11.520 bits within thirty minutes after I arrive, and then some 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.400 parents they like to stay up and chit chat a 0:12:14.440 --> 0:12:18.640 little bit. But typically when I arrive, I take over 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:23.280 from that moment because I want to give parents sleep 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:27.679 that is really needed. It is so important for parents 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:33.680 after having gone through labor giving birth that they catch 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:37.240 up on sleep. Whether you carried and gave birth to 0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:42.000 your baby, yourself, a surrogate carried or gave birth to 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:46.000 your baby, or you adopted a baby. Becoming a parent 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:52.240 in any way is overwhelming, nerve wracking, and it involves 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:56.440 a multitude of emotions. So having someone who supports you 0:12:56.480 --> 0:13:00.600 doing this journey is incredibly important. I stay mostly in 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:03.240 the same room as the baby so I can keep 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:09.160 a watchful eye. I change diapers, swallow suit. In the beginning, 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:12.960 I do the umbilical court care, circumcision care when it 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:16.680 is a boy. If mom chooses to breastfeed, I support 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:21.480 her in establishing a breastfeeding relationship and routine. If parents 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:25.560 choose to bottle feed, I feed the baby either pumped 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:29.720 breast milk or formula. I remind and make sure that 0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:35.480 Mom's stay hydrated, bring her a glass of water, a snack, 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:40.040 check in how she feels, and mostly try to create 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:44.400 an environment of trust so she feels safe to share 0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:47.480 her feelings and emotions with me. And then I also 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:50.760 check in with a spouse or partner who is also 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:55.319 adjusting to a new normal. I want both parents to 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:59.520 feel supported and valued. It's so so, so great, And 0:13:59.520 --> 0:14:03.000 I didn't sleep if I didn't have you, because I 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:06.679 would be someone checking on the baby's lungs every two 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:08.760 seconds to make sure that the body was going up 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:11.880 and down. And the thing about passing off the baby 0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:14.559 to someone who's a nurse and a new word care 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:17.280 specialist was that I could just give the baby to you, 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:20.440 and I knew that I could really pray for sleep 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.000 to come on quickly. It would because I'd be so 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:27.080 fucking tired. And then three hours later, just as if 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:29.920 I just closed my eyes, my door would crack open 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:32.560 a little bit and it would be Alexander being like hi, 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:34.960 waving her little hand, and that was my time to 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:40.680 zombie walk into Vera's room, breastfeed and here's where she's 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:44.120 such a big help. So I breastfeed. But what's awesome 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.360 is that I just sit there. Alexandra hands me a 0:14:47.400 --> 0:14:50.920 baby in a diaper, because they stay awake better and 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:53.120 feed better if they're awake. If they're all wrapped up 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.760 and swaddled while you're breastfeeding them, they're are They're sleeping 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:58.280 through the whole feed, and they're not really eating. Exactly 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:02.400 when I show up into the room, you're already unswaddling her, 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:06.479 changing her diaper. Because also, newborn babies poop fifty thousand 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:10.400 times a day. It's ridiculous. She hands me the cute 0:15:10.480 --> 0:15:14.200 naked baby in a diaper on one side. I breastfeed 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:17.000 for about, I don't know, fifteen twenty minutes on one's breast, 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:19.960 hand the baby back to Alexander. She burps the baby, 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:23.200 and the baby is held upright so that she doesn't 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:25.680 acid reflects throw up all the breast monks. You just ate. 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:28.160 Then she hands me the baby on the other side. 0:15:28.400 --> 0:15:31.280 Then you hand the baby back, and after you've done 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:32.960 the other side, and this whole thing is taken forty 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:36.400 two minutes, I'm running back to my bedroom and praying 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:41.760 for sleep while Alexandra is burping the baby again, re diapering, 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.760 re swaddling, and getting the baby down again. It's all 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:50.760 of that shit that I am not doing, and that 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:56.080 is a miracle, because all of that stuff takes more 0:15:56.120 --> 0:16:00.200 time away from sleeping. I really wanted to do sunk 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:01.720 it because I feel like a lot of people have 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:05.160 no clue what we're doing in the middle of the night, 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:09.320 and it's a lot what happens if someone doesn't have 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.960 like a bed for you in the baby's room, because 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:15.120 that used to really upset me, Like I just was like, 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:18.080 oh my god, Like our nursery is really small and 0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:20.160 we had just to blow up mattress and I felt 0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:21.960 so bad because I had some other friends that had 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:25.520 like a full queen sized bed like in the baby's room, 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:29.160 which is amazing, But like, what what do people do? 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:31.360 Because then I have people say like, well, I'll just 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:34.920 have the nurse sleep down the hall, and I'm like, no, 0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:39.080 I think that they're supposed to be like in the room, right, Yes, 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:43.440 mostly I stay in the baby's room. I do ask, indeed, 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:47.120 to have a place to you know, lay so I 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:51.320 can stretch my legs. But no, every somebody is different. 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:56.440 I have slept on many air mattresses, roll away beds, 0:16:56.720 --> 0:17:03.560 pull out couches, beds, a beds um. You know. It's 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:08.280 a nice way for your your newborn care specialist or 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:12.119 post bottom dula, you know, to stretch their legs too. Also, 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:16.280 to be quite honest, if you sit in a dark 0:17:16.400 --> 0:17:20.800 room with white noise going for the full ten hours, 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:24.959 you are going to fall asleep or dose off. How 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:28.240 many years have you been doing this? Sixteen years? Oh 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:32.720 my god, do you have any favorite stories? I can 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:37.360 share a very real situation and it was actually with you, 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:41.720 and it really hit me home. I remember we were 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:48.400 figuring out how vera could become an efficient either and 0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:55.119 your amazing lactation consultant suggested a certain routine and schedule 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:59.600 of breastfeeding. I believe it was every two or three hours, 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:01.640 And you tell me, is it I don't have any 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:05.920 time for that, ship I need to sleep. It really 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:09.880 was such a real and raw moment because you were 0:18:10.040 --> 0:18:13.600 so sleep deprived. I know stories that you have been 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:15.959 on with certain families for three months, four months, up 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:20.040 to a year, for certain very very like high profile 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:24.840 families who really work insane jobs and could not put 0:18:24.880 --> 0:18:27.560 on their plate like sleep training a baby like you 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:30.040 didn't leave until the baby was sleeping seven to seven 0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:33.040 for like months on end. So how do you sleep 0:18:33.080 --> 0:18:37.560 train a baby? You know, there's so much confusion about 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:42.120 sleep training. If you establish healthy habits from day one, 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:46.080 then sleep until the night becomes a very organic process. 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:52.160 Your baby will then gradually sleep longer over time. Three 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:56.359 am becomes four am, five a m turns into six am. 0:18:56.560 --> 0:19:02.040 But this only happens when everyone is on the same page, parents, 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:07.240 oftentimes grandparents, nanny, and of course lastly the person who 0:19:07.280 --> 0:19:11.880 is supporting you. Whether this isn't nanny, uh, you don't care, 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:17.800 specialist or postponeum dula. But I call this approach sleep conditioning. 0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:21.880 You create a condition for your baby to become an 0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:26.760 independent sleeper over time. So sleep training is actually only 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:32.440 needed when certain habits need to be undone like holding 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:36.440 a baby for sleep, rocking a baby to sleep, feeding 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:40.000 a baby to sleep. You know, everyone wakes up during 0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:43.879 the night, We as adults, look at an alarm clock, 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:47.199 take a sip of water, you know, turn on the 0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:52.240 other side b and then we go back to see 0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:56.520 when a baby wakes up and has been held, rocked 0:19:56.680 --> 0:20:00.840 or fat to sleep. Then they need and want this 0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:04.199 each time they wake up because it has to become 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:07.879 a habit. It is instilled in them that that is 0:20:08.000 --> 0:20:11.600 only the only way to fall asleep. We call that 0:20:11.680 --> 0:20:17.520 a sleep association. So sleep training is about ondoing dependency 0:20:17.640 --> 0:20:21.760 and replacing them with independent sleep habits. I think this 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:24.879 is associated for a lot of moms with worrying about 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:28.000 them being fed right like or you know, it's like 0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:30.240 when a baby wakes up and you're like freaking out. 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:32.080 It's like, oh my god, they didn't eat enough for 0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:35.479 you know, there's probably like a lot of panic around 0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:39.040 that sort of thing. But also, let's be honest, when 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:42.399 you have a baby who wakes up at three am, 0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:46.879 you know, crying, it is easier to suit them, you know, 0:20:47.040 --> 0:20:50.760 holding or rocking or feeding them. And as a parent, 0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:55.480 when you are on your own, that is a survival method, 0:20:55.680 --> 0:20:59.000 you know, that's what you do because then you are 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.600 you know, twining in a thirty minutes later back to 0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:05.760 sleep again. As to going through the entire motion of 0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:12.080 you know, instilling healthy sleep habits, ondoing those habits that 0:21:12.160 --> 0:21:15.760 have led to waking them up by or wanting to 0:21:15.800 --> 0:21:19.720 be rocked, or fat or you know, health A lot 0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:23.280 of times, bigger babies have a little bit easier time, 0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:25.840 right because they're not having to feed so much. Is 0:21:25.840 --> 0:21:28.520 that true or am I making that up? It depends. 0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:34.480 We do oftentimes say, oh, when there's a ten pound baby, 0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:39.159 since they have already so much such a higher way, 0:21:39.240 --> 0:21:42.240 you know, everything becomes a little bit more relaxed because 0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:45.160 we don't have to feed every two or three hours, 0:21:45.560 --> 0:21:49.400 so you don't have to wake them up so organically. 0:21:49.480 --> 0:21:52.880 Then you know, might sleep a little bit, you know, longer, 0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:57.080 but it is not necessarily right because they could just 0:21:57.160 --> 0:22:01.280 be like gassy. The other thing about a newborn care 0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:03.879 specialist is if you have your baby in your room, 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:07.560 a lot of newborn babies make a lot of sounds. Grunting, 0:22:07.720 --> 0:22:11.400 their like working out gas, they're pooping, they're like doing 0:22:11.480 --> 0:22:14.240 all this stuff, and so you never sleeping because you're like, 0:22:14.240 --> 0:22:15.800 what's that? What's that? What's that? What are they doing? 0:22:15.800 --> 0:22:17.520 What are they doing? What are they doing? Vera was 0:22:17.560 --> 0:22:22.320 like really quiet, she still is. She's so quiet. She was, 0:22:22.440 --> 0:22:28.320 indeed from day one, and very quiet sleeper. And I 0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:33.320 had to build up and check on her. Are you okay? 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:35.880 You know? You said, I think vera is ready for 0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:38.000 a nighttime routine, and you were the one. What do 0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:43.240 you call it again? Was it the four beasts? Yeah? 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:47.800 But book, bottle or breast and bet those are the 0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:49.919 sort of things that a newborn care specialist sets you 0:22:50.040 --> 0:22:52.840 up for, like this is the sort of schedule you're 0:22:52.920 --> 0:22:57.240 on now, And then you so graciously are available through 0:22:57.280 --> 0:22:59.960 text even afterwards when I was like, how do I 0:23:00.000 --> 0:23:02.760 I get her to not do this feed anymore at 0:23:02.760 --> 0:23:05.199 three o'clock in the morning, or you said, you know, 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:08.720 at the seven pm, let's do at six thirty the 0:23:08.800 --> 0:23:11.560 four bees, so that she starts to get into a 0:23:11.680 --> 0:23:14.040 nighttime routine, knowing that every night when she gets a 0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:18.480 bath and books and her breast milk and that and bed, 0:23:18.880 --> 0:23:21.280 she knows that it's different from the naps in the day, 0:23:21.359 --> 0:23:24.120 Like this is the one that's like the long haul, right, 0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:29.480 we all function better on routine. Newborn's the same. So 0:23:29.560 --> 0:23:34.679 when newborn received the same routine every night, they know 0:23:34.920 --> 0:23:38.960 it is the right time to prepare themselves for the night. 0:23:39.560 --> 0:23:52.840 So good finish the sentse parent hood is overwhelming. I 0:23:52.920 --> 0:23:57.000 was gonna say hard. So we must have been as 0:23:57.040 --> 0:23:59.000 we knew we were and always will be on the 0:23:59.040 --> 0:24:03.720 same wavelength people. You mentioned the importance of self care. 0:24:04.320 --> 0:24:07.240 I think that hiring a newborn care specialist if you can, 0:24:08.240 --> 0:24:12.600 is the ultimate self care. Tell me how you help 0:24:12.680 --> 0:24:15.320 as part of your services with the self care. So 0:24:15.600 --> 0:24:19.040 I made sure to always check in with both parents, 0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:23.120 and of course this past year, because of the pandemic, 0:24:23.200 --> 0:24:27.160 it was a little bit difficult. But usually I offer 0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:31.439 to come one night a week earlier so that the 0:24:31.560 --> 0:24:34.520 parents can have a date night, because it is very 0:24:34.600 --> 0:24:39.080 important that parents keep connecting with each other. You know, 0:24:39.160 --> 0:24:43.560 there's so much focus on the baby that sometimes parents 0:24:43.560 --> 0:24:48.240 will get to focus on their relationship or on their marriage. 0:24:48.560 --> 0:24:53.160 So it's important when parents are connected, it spells over 0:24:53.720 --> 0:24:56.840 onto the baby. You know, having a date night that 0:24:57.040 --> 0:25:01.520 is really good for your relationship or your marriage. This 0:25:01.680 --> 0:25:04.280 past year, of course, it was a little bit difficult 0:25:04.320 --> 0:25:06.960 because of the pandemic. We you know, no one could 0:25:06.960 --> 0:25:11.000 go anywhere, but I have been going earlier and then 0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:14.680 parents just had dinner at home and then I took 0:25:14.680 --> 0:25:17.960 care of the baby. But I also make sure that 0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:22.959 I give parents resources, either I share a parent group 0:25:23.240 --> 0:25:27.360 or a mom's group. There is so much support out 0:25:27.400 --> 0:25:30.880 there for parents to check in you know, we live 0:25:30.920 --> 0:25:35.280 in a society where we have this phenomenon of you know, 0:25:35.400 --> 0:25:39.760 being a superwoman, and I think sometimes it is taken 0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:44.320 too far. There is nothing wrong. Was asking for help 0:25:44.400 --> 0:25:47.359 and support. That was around a group of friends that 0:25:47.800 --> 0:25:50.600 had babies a lot in the same time, and a 0:25:50.640 --> 0:25:53.959