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Speaker 1: And I don't know what to do because my jealous

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Speaker 1: grandma claims that I upstaged her at her wedding by

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Speaker 1: being too attractive. This is her fifth wedding. You've had

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Speaker 1: your time to show, Grandma. Listen.

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Speaker 2: Is it so hard to go outside and just stick

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Speaker 2: your face in some mud?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Or you know, let's just go handibal lecter. I

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Speaker 1: want you to cut off your face and put it

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Speaker 1: on my face so I can go.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, come on, give give grandma a little tree. She

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Speaker 3: deserves it.

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Speaker 1: You know, botux don't work anymore. I want your face

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Speaker 1: on my face.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's only your wedding.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty eight female. Maternal grandma is seventy one female.

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Speaker 1: This past weekend, she got married to her boyfriend of

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Speaker 1: a couple of years. This is her fifth wedding, which

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Speaker 1: I mentioned not to judge, but because it's relevant later on.

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Speaker 1: Last time she got married, I was a junior in

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Speaker 1: high school and wore a Cranberry strapless dress that my

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Speaker 1: grandma purchased for me, very much in line with the

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Speaker 1: cocktail dress code. I didn't try to do this, but

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Speaker 1: in hindsight, I wore makeup that was too much for

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Speaker 1: a wedding. I just wore what I would normally do,

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Speaker 1: toned down smoky eye eyeliner with nude lip. Uh oh,

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Speaker 1: nude lips. One of the granddaughters of the husband she

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Speaker 1: was marrying then pulled me aside and told me I

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Speaker 1: did too much and that I should wipe the makeup

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Speaker 1: off before photos. Dang. I was extremely embarrassed. The only

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Speaker 1: other wedding I'd ever been to was when I was six,

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Speaker 1: so at the time I had no idea of the

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Speaker 1: etiquette and was mortified that I had broken at.

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Speaker 3: Gives who cares? Why would you care?

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Speaker 1: Why? I've only heard about like, oh, you don't wear

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Speaker 1: white at a wedding, Yes, but I've never heard don't

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Speaker 1: wear makeup at a wedding.

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Speaker 3: What are you supposed to do?

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Speaker 2: What do you be? Like?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Man, I'm like, I'm like a nine out of ten today.

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Speaker 2: I gotta like figure out how to just what are

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Speaker 2: we doing?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I gotta wear anti makeup, make yourself uglearah, come on,

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Speaker 1: have some decencies. I ended up wiping off the eyeliner,

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Speaker 1: replacing the eyeshadow with a nude eyeshadow, and putting on

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Speaker 1: clear chapstick. I don't like this. I don't like this

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Speaker 1: for this wedding. My grandma reminded me that I should

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Speaker 1: do a very toned down look and not upstage her

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Speaker 1: at this wedding. These days, I don't wear nearly as

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Speaker 1: much makeup as I used to, so I went with

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Speaker 1: my daily makeup routine BBE cream and a light concealer,

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Speaker 1: a new cream blush, some light miscara that was dark

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Speaker 1: brown instead of black, and a sheer, glossy, pinky nude lipstick.

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Speaker 1: John and I know exactly what that all looks like. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I paired this with a navy blue dress, and I

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Speaker 1: tried my best to match my grandma's request that this

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Speaker 1: dress code is in between casual and cocktail. My grandma

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Speaker 1: didn't say anything about how I looked during the wedding,

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Speaker 1: nor did anyone else, so I assumed I had good

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Speaker 1: job of making sure she was still in the spotlight.

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Speaker 1: Then you gotta be super hot. If just by existing,

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Speaker 1: you're stealing the spotlight from people, please stop. We can't

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Speaker 1: look at you your dot it's blinding.

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Speaker 2: My pupils are dissolving, My direction is breaking through my pants.

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Speaker 1: What is wrong with grooms? The grooms mean or the

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Speaker 1: husband is like I haven't had one of these in years.

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Speaker 2: God.

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Speaker 1: However, today she got some of the photos back from

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Speaker 1: her friend who was taking them. She said that I

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Speaker 1: was the standout in all the photos. Ope, you're too

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Speaker 1: damn hot, and it was a very tacky move to

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Speaker 1: try to get all the attention on me when it

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Speaker 1: was her wedding. H I apologize and said I tried

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Speaker 1: to be as toned down as possible while still looking presentable.

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Speaker 1: She said that the right move would have been to

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Speaker 1: wear no makeup at all and a more conservative pants suit.

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Speaker 1: Please just wear a pillowcase. Wear a garbage bag.

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Speaker 2: Okay, hey, you see that sack of trash, just just

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Speaker 2: jumping in, don't come out.

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Speaker 1: And then just rub some dirt on your face. I

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Speaker 1: want you to look like a cabbage patch kid.

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Speaker 2: I need you to be like Oscar the ground, just

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Speaker 2: sitting in a garbage can, just like peeking your little

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Speaker 2: ugly eyes out, just to get a glimpse of the

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Speaker 2: outside world.

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Speaker 1: At the time that I got this call, well, I

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Speaker 1: was with my paternal grandmother. They do not get along

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Speaker 1: in the slightest. Paternal grandmother told my maternal grandmother that

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Speaker 1: it was unreasonable to expect me to dress frumpy to

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Speaker 1: please her, and that she had three sets of wedding

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Speaker 1: photos for weddings before I was even born, and that

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Speaker 1: she could look back on those to be the star

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Speaker 1: of the show if she wanted. This led to my

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Speaker 1: maternal grandmother telling me she wished to take a break

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Speaker 1: from speaking to me for a while so I could

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Speaker 1: reflect on my selfish actions. Oh my god. Oh he's

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Speaker 1: just existing, just existing, hotly existing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I feel really bad. I didn't mean to wreck a

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Speaker 1: special day for her, And in hindsight, maybe I should

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Speaker 1: have had my dress approved and my makeup approved with

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Speaker 1: her before the wedding. So I thought I'd get some

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Speaker 1: feedback here to see if I'm the a hole and

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Speaker 1: what I did was selfish, all right? You know I

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Speaker 1: don't wear makeup often except a few episodes back the

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Speaker 1: real Ones. I did full faces of makeup back in

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Speaker 1: the day. But yeah, I mean, let me know if

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Speaker 1: this is a thing that happens at weddings. I've never

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Speaker 1: heard of this, but I want to know if you

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Speaker 1: think OPI is the a hole. But John, what do

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Speaker 1: you think?

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Speaker 3: And you know what we'll hear from the ladies.

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Speaker 2: The ladies are right, like Kati is holler at us,

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Speaker 2: But why got one thing to say?

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Speaker 3: Grandma?

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, give them. It's not my fault. You're ugly,

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Speaker 1: that's all it is. You had your prime, and your

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Speaker 1: prime wasn't as good as my prime.

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Speaker 2: Just because your face is a donkey's ass cheek does

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Speaker 2: not mean that I have to change what I'm doing.

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Speaker 3: I'm hot as shit, and.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be hot as shit for long. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be old, wrinkly, maybe not as ugly as you, not,

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Speaker 1: but I might be as wrinkly as you one day

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Speaker 1: when I'm like one hundred and five. I gotta be

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Speaker 1: as hot as possible for as long as possible, So

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Speaker 1: deal with it, deal with it any but let us

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Speaker 1: know what you think. But your answers in the comments,

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Speaker 1: and if you've ever had this happen at like a

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Speaker 1: wedding or something, please let us know. Ladies, we want

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Speaker 1: to hear from you and we'll see. Assume we love you,

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Speaker 1: and please keep being hot at weddings. Yes, don't let

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Speaker 1: any grandma's stop you from doing that. What's right.

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Speaker 2: Mechanic tries to scam me by putting wasps in my car,

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Speaker 2: I expose him and he's humiliated.

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Speaker 1: Okayop, why wasp in the car? Man? Those are like

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Speaker 1: the freakin devils of the sky.

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Speaker 2: That's what I was gonna say, Like a very odd

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Speaker 2: choice for his Uh.

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Speaker 1: Also, where's he just finding these wasps too? Like? Like

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Speaker 1: how is he picking these up and throwing them in

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Speaker 1: the cars?

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Speaker 2: Come on, hey, he's going to wasps oar us and

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Speaker 2: you know, buying himself a healthy load of wasps.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta keep your wasps on deck to trick

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Speaker 1: your customers exactly.

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Speaker 3: All right, let's dive into it.

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Speaker 2: So, I, twenty six female, do not look like I

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Speaker 2: would know a single thing about cars. Hey, OPI I

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Speaker 2: bet you do look like you know a thing or

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Speaker 2: two about cars.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we think you look like you know what thing

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Speaker 1: are duel about cars at least right.

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Speaker 2: I'm five to three with long blonde hair and a

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Speaker 2: very soft, girly appearance and an eternal babyface that makes

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Speaker 2: me look fifteen to sixteen years old. I drive a

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Speaker 2: rather beat up looking two thousand avalon. My dad and

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Speaker 2: brother are both mechanics, not my profession personally, but I've

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Speaker 2: learned a thing or seven from them, and I'm very.

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Speaker 3: Comfortable working on cars.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm only mentioning my appearance because it's pretty common

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Speaker 2: for mechanics to assume that I'm an idiot about cars.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean the chemic candidates can be kind of

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Speaker 1: shifty at point, kind of even. I didn't even get that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even get my own pun.

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Speaker 3: A while back.

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Speaker 2: I was pretty overwhelmed with life and I wasn't in

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Speaker 2: a good space to do it, so I took my

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Speaker 2: car in to get my oil changed. The place offered

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Speaker 2: a free head to toe inspection for any repairs that

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Speaker 2: might need to be made.

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Speaker 3: I knew my car was fine.

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Speaker 2: I had recently changed the air filter and the brake pads.

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Speaker 2: The rotors had maybe forty thousand miles on them, and

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Speaker 2: everything else was in great in condition. Literally, I just

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Speaker 2: didn't feel like changing my oil. Hope, he just doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to deal with it. Yeah, A relevant note. Before

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Speaker 2: I went, I checked everything over myself. Also, I usually

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Speaker 2: call my dad while I'm working on my car so

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Speaker 2: we can chat to.

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Speaker 3: Make sure everything's taken care of.

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Speaker 2: After they changed my oil, the guy came back with

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Speaker 2: the inspection results on a clipboard and was holding my

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Speaker 2: air filter. He gave this grave look on my face

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Speaker 2: like something was terribly wrong.

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Speaker 1: What's wrong, mister mechanic?

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Speaker 3: What happened? Mind you?

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Speaker 2: This is a very busy place and there were a

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Speaker 2: lot of customers in the waiting room. He told me

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Speaker 2: that we needed to go over the results because my

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Speaker 2: car was about to be completely broken down and was

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Speaker 2: not safe to drive.

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Speaker 1: It's on the brink of destruction.

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Speaker 2: I guess it's about to dissolve before very eyes, quick, quick, baby.

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Speaker 1: A billion dollars so I can fix your car.

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Speaker 2: If I don't screw this nut right now, everything will

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Speaker 2: explode red wire, he said if I didn't get several

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Speaker 2: repairs done asap, because if they were all, it was

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Speaker 2: gonna go to crap. No, no, the repairs needed new

200
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Speaker 2: brake pads, new rotors, new calipers, replaced serpentine and drive belt,

201
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Speaker 2: new air filter, new compression on my AC that doesn't work,

202
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Speaker 2: and a couple more generic things.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, not the generic things. Man just threw the

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Speaker 1: laundry list at this poor girl.

205
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Speaker 2: He showed me my air filter that was filled with

206
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Speaker 2: dead grass, a dead wasp, some dirt and hair. Bruh,

207
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Speaker 2: that's what I like this?

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Speaker 1: Like, where do you think she like? Like? She's like

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Speaker 1: all right, Like this is ridiculous at this point, Like,

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Speaker 1: where do you think I'm getting a dead wasp in

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Speaker 1: my air filter? From? Literally ridiculous, Opie says.

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Speaker 2: He he literally just scooped some crap off of the

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Speaker 2: shop floor and shoved it into my new air filter.

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Speaker 3: To try to freak me out.

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Speaker 2: The total damage about fifteen hundred dollars worth of work.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's really milkin. And also, like OPI

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00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,319
Speaker 1: just replaced the air filter, so she knows that.

218
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Speaker 3: But here's the thing. So here's the thing.

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Speaker 2: The guy said it would be more expensive anywhere else,

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Speaker 2: but he was willing to give.

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Speaker 1: Me deal, oh a little proper discounts.

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Speaker 3: Wow, what a guy.

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 3: Just call it individual.

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Speaker 2: So I immediately start buying time by asking more basic

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Speaker 2: questions that I knew he would have to explain so

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Speaker 2: I could nod at him all wide eyed while I.

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Speaker 3: Come up with a good way to respond to what

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Speaker 3: he was doing. Oh wow, mister.

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Speaker 1: Mechanic, what ever happened to my car?

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Speaker 3: What does the serpentine bill do? Is it important? Etc?

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Speaker 2: I texted my dad, I'm calling in a sec just

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Speaker 2: play along. I told the guy, ohmge, it's so scary.

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Speaker 3: I can't believe I was driving around leg that. Thank

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Speaker 3: you so much for caring about me. I don't have

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Speaker 3: the money, so let me oh my dad real quick

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Speaker 3: and see if he can help.

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Speaker 2: I then proceeded to enhance my dramatic performance even more.

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Speaker 1: By working up a tear well. I called my dad, Wow,

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Speaker 1: you need an oscar right now.

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Speaker 2: And the oscar for punking. The car mechanic goes toogory.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh be.

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Speaker 2: The guy is just standing there with me in front

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Speaker 2: of all his customers. I put my dad on speakerphone

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Speaker 2: and gave my dad this whole stop story about how

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Speaker 2: I need the money and again, I'm so sorry. Can

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Speaker 2: he helped me? He asked me what the repairs were

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Speaker 2: and how much, and I said I.

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Speaker 3: Don't know, but it sounded really bad. He says that

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Speaker 3: it's dangerous, Dad, and I can't be without a car.

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Speaker 3: What am I.

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Speaker 1: Gonna do.

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Speaker 3: It?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Hamming it up big time, winning a second oscar

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Speaker 2: on this one. Then I asked the guy to tell

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Speaker 2: my dad what the repairs were. He rattles off, and

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Speaker 2: my dad is playing his part perfectly. Oh wow, mm hmm,

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Speaker 2: oh my goodness. Little did this scammer know he was

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Speaker 2: the one in danger.

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Speaker 1: Ah, he's about to get the old one. Two pulled

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Speaker 1: on him.

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Speaker 3: The one too? Did he do?

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Speaker 2: Baby? He hands the phone back and I dropped the

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Speaker 2: facade and start laughing really hard.

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Speaker 1: The evil laugh.

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Speaker 2: You fool, You've played right into my hands.

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Speaker 3: How did I did I get the oscar for Bestville?

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Speaker 1: And Sam? Yeah, that was pretty good. That was pretty good.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm convinced. I'm I'm voting you in for the Academy.

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Speaker 3: As soon as my.

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Speaker 2: Dad hears me, he started cackling on the phone, and

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Speaker 2: I said.

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Speaker 3: Daddy, did you hear this? Boat? Crap? Get this?

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Speaker 2: He brought me my new air filter I just put

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Speaker 2: in to show me how dirty it was. He really

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Speaker 2: scooped dirt off the floor or something and just rubbed

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Speaker 2: it all in there. Dad, Dad, and I continue to

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Speaker 2: crack up. The audience is in the waiting room also

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Speaker 2: cracking up. Scammy McCanny, Great.

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Speaker 1: Scanny, Scammy McCanny.

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Speaker 2: Scammy McCanny was beat red and at a complete loss

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Speaker 2: for words.

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Speaker 3: Heads down and he just kept stuttering some more nonsense.

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Speaker 3: I handed him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I handed in my air filter and told him

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Speaker 2: to go vacuumate it out and to make sure to

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Speaker 2: let me see it before he put it back in.

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Speaker 2: I sat down and watched him put it back once

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Speaker 2: it was clean, and also watched him pull my car out,

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Speaker 2: just to make sure he didn't do anything more horrible

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Speaker 2: while I wasn't looking. I might have taken it a

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Speaker 2: bit far, but I really hate when mechanics take advantage

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Speaker 2: of people who don't know anything about their cars. So

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Speaker 2: this felt like a massive wind to me.

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Speaker 1: No, definitely, like I feel like like this is really

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Speaker 1: good because now she's convincing his mechanic basically to not

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Speaker 1: like hoodwig people again for fear of him getting caught.

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Speaker 3: Exactly this is this. I think this is a perfectly acceptable, Like.

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Speaker 1: This is a public service.

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Speaker 3: Yes, OP for president over here.

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Speaker 1: Op for president, OP for the oscar. That's right.

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Speaker 2: Big props of my dad for his performance and for

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Speaker 2: teaching me about cars.

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Speaker 1: There we go. That's how it's done, folks,