WEBVTT - Ep20: Dating with Herpes Feat Ella Dawson 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:04.600 Hi, guys, Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. Today's 0:00:04.600 --> 0:00:07.640 show is sponsored by Black Women in Las Vegas dot 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:09.639 com And no, it's not a dating app. I thought 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:12.960 it is not an escort site either. Black Women in 0:00:13.039 --> 0:00:15.920 Las Vegas dot Com is an online directory of everything 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:18.600 a black woman in Las Vegas needs, whether you live 0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:20.320 there or you're visiting. And this actually works out well 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:22.480 for me because bit before I went there on a 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:24.560 more day weekend, I was trying to get my we've 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:26.200 done feel like that's the one thing that we would 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:30.480 recruit for. 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And she's setting up to where when black 0:00:58.120 --> 0:01:00.880 professionals black women come to law spagas they kind of 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:04.120 have somewhere to go kind of somewhere to its popular 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:09.520 like city, but you wouldn't think like maybe trip now 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:11.960 like more a weekend and all these other weekends, right 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:13.800 And like I said, I want to needed my hair 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:17.240 and done, so shut up, I went there to turn 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:21.200 up anyways, as welcome to yet another episode of horrible decisions. 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:26.319 I'm your girl, Mandy B and I'm weazy and we 0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:34.960 have get that all the time. Really, yes, umbrella, Well 0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:37.640 just like me a man due why do I still 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:40.520 get that from my name? Really girl? Like like we're 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:47.080 in the second grade. They're very original, not original. Well, guys, um, 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:49.400 we're back. I guess we'll update a little bit. So 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:53.040 Weezy is just getting back from goddamn Europe yet again. 0:01:53.560 --> 0:01:56.240 Um with loverboy, do you want to briefly update our 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.720 listeners on how that trip went? Was it better than Italy? 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:01.160 Like how was it? So? To me? It was way 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:03.440 but in Italy. So we were broth on a vacation 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:05.040 in Italy, and I feel like maybe because we were 0:02:05.040 --> 0:02:06.480 just getting to know each other that time, I was 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:08.560 doing just too much, you know. I was like I 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:11.000 even caught myself posing at one point when I was 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:13.480 waiting to the bathroom. And now I went to where 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:16.480 he's from, and you know, kind of just checked out, 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:19.200 like friends. Family introduced me to the place, and it 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:21.040 was just so much better because I was like way 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:24.760 more chill. Um. So funny little story. I'm allergic to 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:31.359 eggs and he used a a restaurant. Um, and I'm 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:33.480 just so embarrassed about this story. I'm sorry, I'm getting shy. 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:35.560 So I'm allergy to eggs and all he wanted to 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:38.880 do was make sure that I wouldn't eat eggs. So 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:40.880 he had the chef because I've never had a cupcake 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:44.880 make me cupcakes, specially without eggs. And he was super excited. 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:46.960 We were talking about it like a week and a half. 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.560 He's like, oh my god, they're gonna be great cupcakes. 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:51.280 I'm like, oh my god, everything's new with you antal 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:55.720 and cupcakes. So we get to the restaurant. I'm super 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:59.079 excited and it's really nice and uh, you know, we're 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:03.639 sitting down some family and his friends and um, he's 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:05.400 saying it over again. I can hear him saying the 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:08.399 word in his language, like no fucking egg. So there's 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:11.919 bread on the table and it's French. Bread, which generally 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:13.560 doesn't have eggs. So I'm having a bite a bit 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:15.520 and when I tell you, I had one bite and 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.360 I could feel my throat and I'm looking at him 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:20.960 and I'm like, um, is there egg in my martini? Do? 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:22.280 Is there any egg wash? She's like, no, I told 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:23.600 you I made the recipe. There's no egg in this. 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:25.480 There's no egg in this. It's in your I don't 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:26.680 know if he said this in my head or what. 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:28.160 I'm like, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go to 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.800 the bathroom. I'm trying to walk very daintily to the 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:32.480 bathroom and next you can, I get in there. Like 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:37.440 it's like, so I come back, fucking face flush. I 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:39.720 sit back down and I'm like, maybe it's my nerves, right, 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:42.120 So I'm looking at again. I'm like, you know what, 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:45.160 I actually had a dream then had eggs, um, you know, 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:46.480 before I got here, And I'm just gonna be just 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.160 kind of wondering, like do you think there's a No, 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:51.720 there's no egg. So finally he goes finds out that 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:54.040 they put egg wash on the bread to make it shiny. 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:56.160 I'm like, dude, I need to go because right I'm 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.240 like literally gonnahip my pants and I don't want to 0:03:58.240 --> 0:03:59.320 tell him, and he's like, you want to go with you? 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:00.720 I don't want to be sick. I'm like, no, no, 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:04.920 don't go, no, ship, don't go. So in his apartment 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:06.640 is like two minutes away, right, he can to be 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:08.280 the keys you have. I'm like, I don't even know 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:10.400 if I have my jacket. Bro. I'm walking down the 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:13.400 street all right. People are staring at me. It's like, um, 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:15.880 it's more like up north, like Baltic. So it's like 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:18.400 nine at night and it's still right outside. Dude, I'm 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:20.040 throwing up in the corner. We can't even make it 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:21.600 to the apartment. People are looking at me like what 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:24.400 the funk happened through this beach And I'm just like 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:29.600 I'm not drunk. I'm just sick with eggs. Bro. Oh 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:31.479 my god. So then he's like texting me like crazy, 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:33.080 I'm so sorry. You want me to come back now? 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:35.520 This fucking hey there, dude, I was so scared. I 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:37.600 didn't know when the apartment would smell. I do what bomb? 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.520 It smells like? So now because it's his brand new apartment, 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:42.560 he just moved into his apartment and you know this 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:44.400 is someone I'm data and I wanted to be nice 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:48.120 and I'm embarrassed. I'm literally throwing up with a fucking 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:51.080 paper towel in my hand is scrubbing down. Oh god. 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:55.000 It was really bad. But it came home with cupcakes 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.640 and ain't the funk out of my pussy. So I 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:59.880 was like, this is a really good sorry head and cupcakes. 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:01.840 I'll take that. That's a great way to end the night. 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:03.440 But it was awesome. It was just hanging out a 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:06.320 massages casino and we both love to gamble. Um. We 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:08.480 made some great porns. Let me just shake this one 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:10.800 clip now. We don't want to see your porn every time. 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:19.080 It's like fifth Element but like slut anyway, that's my 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:20.960 anal plug in the corner and a little spit coming 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:23.359 down from his mouth. But it was fun, and I 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:25.960 bought a tripod for us. You know. I was like, babe, 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:27.880 you know, I'm always like making videos for you. Finally 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:29.960 we can just we can have some good ship. We can, 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:33.560 you know, and we did. They're like five minute long videos. 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:35.440 Normally their thirty seconds because the other person wants to 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:38.120 let go so they can fuck. So I was really excited. 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:40.720 This is awesome. I'm on the opposite end of the 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:42.880 spectrum right now. I do want to let you listeners 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:44.720 know that you guys would not be joining me on 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:48.200 my journey of abstinence. Um, I've had just too much mediocre. 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:51.120 When we first started well and I was I went 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:53.039 a month without Dick and everyone was like, you just 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:56.240 hear that abstinence. I went to Munk without Dick and 0:05:56.320 --> 0:05:58.640 everyone was like, you're so born, you need dick, weezy 0:05:58.680 --> 0:06:00.360 as all these stories, when are you going to have one? 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:02.480 And then I literally just went through a nice little 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:04.360 set where I was like, I've been getting some dick, 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:09.719 but it's been very just mediocre and except which we're 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:12.400 on every six week thing right now, and I just 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:14.680 can't deal with it. He's never in town, like, oh 0:06:14.839 --> 0:06:18.720 so stressful. So I'm to the point now where even 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:20.599 though I do have all these dicks in my phone 0:06:20.600 --> 0:06:24.080 that are available, I don't enjoy being around any of them. 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.360 It's one of those where their dicks to come over, 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.960 but I don't want the dicks to talk. Just pull 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:31.279 out the dick, put it in and go. And I 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:35.000 don't want those relationships anymore. So I'm about to be 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:40.159 absinent until I can find someone who actually but I 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:43.280 feel like because the best part of my was watching 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:46.440 Cheetos and watching a movie and eating cheetos together. That's 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:53.839 what I'm saying, like and so away and Cheetos. The 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:56.560 fuck you know, embarrassing this is We're gonna literally get 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:59.920 people are gonna click off the show now. Well that's 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:02.280 whe I'm Matt. Guys, abstinence. I'll let you guys know 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:08.360 when I have sex again. Count month counts because if 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:12.600 I like the guy, are you being abstinent? Well I 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:18.240 abstinence sounds a lot more convincing. Anyways, guys are welcome 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:22.240 me on my journey. This is our guest. So, um, 0:07:22.360 --> 0:07:26.160 I guess she's our segue into ushering herpies. I guess 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:28.920 that's how she said she wanted to really like that 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:33.120 was well kind of not really herpes consultant. Are we 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:38.640 go on things? So let our listeners know. First of all, 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:40.400 I know how I'll see Mark because I talked to you, 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:42.559 Thank you, But all of our listeners have not talked 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:45.360 to you yet. Can you let our listeners know who 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:48.640 you are what you do just a little bit? Yeah? Sure. 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:52.280 So my name's Ella. I am uh, Internet famous for 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:54.480 having herpies, I guess is really the bluntest way to 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:58.720 put that. Um, I'd always been a sex writer. I 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.960 wrote erotica and call I'd always been fascinated by sexual 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:05.800 health in general. And then shockingly contracted an STD in 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:09.200 college and had like a lovely little mini meltdown of 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:11.520 like maybe all the conservatives are right and like I 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:16.360 shouldn't be having sex lasted like five minutes, and and 0:08:16.400 --> 0:08:20.080 I realized, like, herpes is so ridiculously common and there's 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:24.200 this huge inflated stigma about it. And so I wrote 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:28.480 one article for Women's Health and it went insanely viral 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:31.000 on the Internet, was picked up by Washington Post and 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.679 Yahoo News and like Huffington Post and all these places 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:36.840 and BuzzFeed and everything. So overnight I went from like 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:39.240 maybe I should write about herpes and how common it is, 0:08:39.240 --> 0:08:40.679 and then it was like, funk. If you google me, 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:45.359 Google's like, did you mean ellados? It's done like overnight 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.520 face of Herpes? Did you ever read it? At one 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:51.000 point when I got that pig, oh sure, because it's 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:54.960 when you become viral like that. It is terrifying because 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:57.720 it's so much attention at once and even even if 0:08:57.760 --> 0:08:59.520 none of it is negative, and most of it was 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:03.120 super super positive at the beginning, like there were so 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:05.760 many people messaging me on Facebook and like finding my 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:08.000 email and sending me their stories and it was like 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:11.320 I had unlocked something and suddenly there was an avalanche 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:14.360 of people being like me too, and that's petrifying. And 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:17.040 I was twenty two, like I was a baby, Like 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:23.120 it was a lot. So well, yeah, explain how old 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.760 are you now? I am twenty five now, so I'm 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:27.960 still a baby. But I was even more of a baby. 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:32.319 And so that was like two years ago. That was April, um, 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:34.320 two thousand, I don't know what year it is, two 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:37.360 thousand fifteen. Were you because Mandy mentioned, oh my god, 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.400 she's only twenty three when we were watching your Ted talks, 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:42.400 you were twenty three then, so I yeah, I gave 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.720 my my Ted X talk, um like a month before 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:50.000 my birthday. Okay, so yeah, um, so that was last April. 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:53.760 I'm a may baby. It was so great, thank you. Yeah, absolutely, 0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:54.920 And I told her, I was like, bro, it's only 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:56.480 sixteen minutes. If you don't find the time to watch 0:09:56.559 --> 0:09:59.040 this ship before she comes on the show, Like I'm 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:00.960 not going to have you on with her. Um, So 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:03.480 I want you to explain because I read the article 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:07.080 and um again with the ted talks, you say that 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:12.599 harpies is associated with people who are dirty or promiscuous 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.839 or people who have a ton of sex. But you 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:23.280 definitely got it, like two or three strains of it. 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:28.200 Who knows. So what was your sex life like when 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:30.360 you found out you called it? And can you share 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:33.040 the story of when you called it, like where you 0:10:33.080 --> 0:10:34.920 were in your life, what you were doing sexually. Sure, 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.719 so I was a big old Silton college. I had 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:41.040 a ton of fun. I was super into casual sex, 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:43.680 not excessively, but like more than a girl is supposed 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.000 to Because were you saying this? And I was, Yeah, 0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:48.640 I had always used condoms. I had never had unprotected 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:51.720 sex at all. Yeah, And I was kind of like 0:10:51.760 --> 0:10:53.960 the asshole in my friend group who like gave out 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:56.079 condoms and work for planned parenthood and would like yell 0:10:56.120 --> 0:10:58.679 at you. Yeah. And I remember like a few years 0:10:58.720 --> 0:11:00.520 before I got diagnosed, a friend came to me and 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:02.560 was like, I really prefer having sex dot condoms, and 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:04.760 I like dreamed him a new one, being like, you're 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:06.839 going to get herpies and then a few years later 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:09.240 I was like, so, I'm really sorry that I was 0:11:09.280 --> 0:11:12.360 such a dick, but anyway, I know I was super safe, 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:14.360 but I was having a lot of casual sex and 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:18.679 I wound up meeting somebody following super hard like we're 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:22.520 spending every day together and we were using protection. Um, 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:25.200 But three weeks in our relationship, I had an outbreak 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:29.080 of genital herpies and I was very surprised. Um, and 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:32.920 he immediately like he had been super sweet and charismatic 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:36.400 and wonderful, and immediately it was like Jacqueline hide of 0:11:36.520 --> 0:11:38.880 like I knew I shouldn't have dated somebody like you, 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:44.920 like this is all your faults from him. Well, yeah, 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:47.480 it's hard to prove, but I found out after the 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:51.080 fact that he was very unfaithful to other girlfriends and 0:11:51.160 --> 0:11:54.480 just was like not a great character. And I wouldn't 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:57.240 be surprised, But at the time I was like, Okay, 0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:59.480 I'm the sex writer. I must have been carrying this, 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:01.560 like I'm so sorry I gave this to you, Like 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:04.720 I just took the sex. I well, I was writing 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:06.800 about sex like that was a huge part of my life. 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:08.480 And I was like, okay, I must have had this. 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:10.240 I didn't. I didn't even think that he might have 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:12.360 given it to me. So it was a whole like 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:15.640 who done it? Kind of dramatic. Also want to point 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:18.320 out I just love that, UM, just a backcheck, we 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.400 had a sex worker and escort on our last show 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:24.840 who like never gave oral sex without a condom. You 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:26.800 were writing about sex and sleeping with a bunch of 0:12:26.800 --> 0:12:29.160 people and always use condoms, And there's always a stigma 0:12:29.240 --> 0:12:32.880 that promiscuous women are open free women are just like 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.880 super unsafe and all over the place. Like, I just 0:12:36.360 --> 0:12:39.959 love that you're like non gond condom. Yeah. I had 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.960 never had sex without a condom UM for years and 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:44.800 years and years, and then I got diagnosed, and then 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.559 I got an I U D and I started I 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:49.800 was in like a serious, um committed relationship with somebody 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:53.040 and we just stopped using condoms. And that was so 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:55.120 this was well after I got diagnosed, and it was 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:56.800 something that we talked about. How did you break it 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:58.680 to him like that you had it and what was 0:12:58.760 --> 0:13:03.200 his reaction? My the later boyfriend or who which any 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:06.360 boyfriend really any boyfriend that you've had, UM, you were 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:09.440 diagnosed and you're still not you have a normal dating life. 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:13.440 You're you've had relationships clearly more than one um and 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:16.040 they're okay with having sex with you. So how do 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:18.880 you open up to somebody and say, listen, this is 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:21.800 what I have and how do they receive it? Yeah, 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:23.840 So the good thing about being internet famous for having 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:26.600 her pies is very rarely on a date and they 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:30.280 don't already know. Like I'm even now on Tinder, and 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:32.960 it'll get to the point like where we're chatting and 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:35.800 then like before we actually meet up for drinks, he'll 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:36.880 be like, just want to let you know, like I 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:38.320 googled you and I think what you do is great. 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:43.200 It's already like taken care of and um, I have 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.400 a I have a first date tomorrow with somebody who 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:49.760 um I met on tender. Yeah. It really fun hopefully 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:57.960 but my cheerleader, but but I I was really nervous 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:00.439 about breaking the news because of all this usher stuff. 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:02.760 It's like it's I've been feeling more down on myself 0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:05.320 for it and the way that about it was. I 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:07.120 was like, so I'm going on this podcast, I'm gonna 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:08.880 talked about about herpies and all this, and he's like, 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.000 why are you, like the consultanty're bringing on And I 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:15.880 was like, well, I have it, and I write about it, 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:17.800 and I gave a tedex talk about it, and he 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:20.760 like you could see like the read receipt came up. 0:14:20.800 --> 0:14:24.000 And then a few minutes later he's like, that's really interesting, 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:26.400 is that? Like how does that impact your dating life? 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:29.280 And I was like, well, like condoms, I guess, but 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:32.120 otherwise that's actually I was like, it's usually a conversation 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:34.040 I have like this one at the beginning of relationship, 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.960 and then it becomes irrelevant when somebody realizes that two 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:38.360 and three people have the strain that I have and 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:40.960 used like, oh yeah, and I think it's like the 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:46.200 other strains right altogether. Yeah, I super high. When I 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:49.160 got tested, it just says normal. Um and then like 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.760 the little less THN symbol. Yeah, so everyone has a 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.560 strain in them. Um. And that's why, UM, I do 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:56.080 want to let you guys know that that that are 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:59.760 listening that Ella is not an m D. So we're 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:02.640 not going to be able to provide medical advice for you. However, 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:05.920 get on Google look it up. Um. That's what she did. Um. 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:08.360 She actually says, you know, and this is what I 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:10.200 wanted to bring up in your TED talk and I'd 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:12.400 love to bring it um to the show. Is the 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:15.880 misconceptions you named three, yes, and I wanted to talk 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:19.720 about those because as you were saying them, I was like, yes, bitch, yes, 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:23.160 bitch yes, which clearly you won't watch the videos. I 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:29.800 didn't look you up. Yeah, so can we list those 0:15:29.840 --> 0:15:31.640 again for the followers? Like I know, one was just 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:33.720 the education of it, blah blah blah, like what we 0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:37.160 received in school, that was where the stigmas come from. 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:39.800 Yet sure, yeah, so we can start with that with school, 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.440 Like most of us, I received aption it's only sex education, 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.000 just don't have sex. If you have sex, you're gonna 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.400 die and get pregnant exactly. And even if you did 0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:49.480 get more comprehensive sex, like sure you might have been 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:51.120 taught how to put a condom on a banana, but 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:53.800 you really weren't given great information about STDs. It was 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:58.600 just like very scary photos and like misinformation and really 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:02.720 scary ship and it was google it. Now it's like 0:16:02.720 --> 0:16:05.720 like it's not a fun Google. Don't do Google. Just 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.000 don't do that to yourself. That's just going to drive 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:10.760 you insane. But no, so I when we have that 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:13.840 terrible sex said, we're not taught anything about if you 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:15.680 do get it, or here's how to talk to your 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:17.720 partner about it, or here's how to get tested. It's 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:20.840 just like you better not fucking get an STD. That's it. 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:23.000 That's because the end of your life's end of your life. 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:25.560 And so when you do get diagnosed, if you get diagnosed, 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.119 or if your partner does, or if someone discloses to you, 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:30.240 your brain just goes that panic space of like I'm 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:32.080 gonna die, Like this is it. This is the end 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:33.840 of my life. No one's ever going to touch me again, 0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:36.440 and you're not giving any information about how common it is, 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:40.360 how to actually protect yourself like condoms, yes, dental damns, 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:42.280 things like that when you're having oral sex, like being 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:44.160 smart about that. Oral sex is one of the biggest 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:47.360 ways that Herbie's is transmitted. Like it's it's something to 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:51.160 think about. And there's just so much misinformation coming from 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.680 sex said, which is not sex said, it's abstinence. It's 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:57.880 like it's not helpful. So that's number one. UM, And yeah, 0:16:57.920 --> 0:17:00.320 I hate absence education. I will go off on that forever. 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:04.159 Really feeding my activists, right, now I get kissed. I 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:06.840 actually nearly was suspended for my high school for giving 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.879 out condoms in my abstinence. Are you kidding? Yeah, because 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:12.199 I was like, I'm a planned parenthood rep and according 0:17:12.240 --> 0:17:15.000 to the House of Representatives, this this education leads to 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:17.040 like x y z rates of teen pregnancy. And I 0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:20.160 started giving out condoms and the teacher was just like looking. 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:22.360 It was like a volleyball coach being like, you need 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:24.800 to stop, or I will send you to the headmaster's office. 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:26.400 It was a whole thing, like I am the head 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:30.080 master and that's why. And so I like took all 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:32.240 the condoms back and I was like my my lockers 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:35.439 in the theater way, it's help yourself. And within a 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:37.879 few weeks, like all of the bros at my school 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:39.600 knew me because they would come and be like, do 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:42.440 you have still of those condoms? So people are scared 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:44.439 to like go and then think about small town. They 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:46.680 don't want to go to CBS and get caught up. Yeah. 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:50.840 I just actually, so I'm having this weird sinus thing 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.560 going on with my ears. Well this is it was 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:57.399 so funny. So I go to pick up my prescription 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.280 because I have like really bad sinus with my ear 0:17:59.400 --> 0:18:01.720 my throat and at this point I'm looking at throat things. 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:03.800 There's this new gun and reastrained. I'm just like, oh, shouot, 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:07.919 I did just swallow last week. I'm scared. So I 0:18:08.000 --> 0:18:10.160 go to the damn doctor to make sure everything's okay, 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:13.280 pissing a cup, you know, all that stuff. Um, And 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:16.280 so I get a prescription, an antibiotic from my ear. 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:19.560 And when I go, it's a ten dollar fucking minimum 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:22.960 on the debit card. Bitch, I got Medici, my right, 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:25.720 So my my prescription only a dollar. So I'm like, ship, 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:28.159 what am I gonna get? I said, you know what, 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:31.240 go ahead and give me a pack of condoms. The 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:35.640 guy at the store was so happy. He said, come here, 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:37.639 come here, I give you the big pack he gives me. 0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:41.199 You know, he's like, I even give you discount. He 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:43.200 was like, I gotta get rid of these ships. Nobody 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:47.359 buys condoms. Oh my god. And he's like, listen, here's 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:49.920 my card. I'll deliver your prescription. Hell, I'll deliver condoms. 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:54.240 He said no, he was no, but he was really nice. 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:56.280 He was like, yo, like they get expired, and you know, 0:18:56.320 --> 0:18:59.240 he pays for its inventory. There's an expiration date on them. 0:18:59.520 --> 0:19:01.679 So he's like, I'll give you the big pack he 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:04.080 gave me, Like the big pack he took off almost 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:06.600 three dollars, So I have now I have now a 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:10.280 ten pack of condoms um which mind you made me 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.080 get because of course, well, of course that night I 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:14.919 have sex. So I go to pull them out. I 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:19.600 got the kind that Candy suggested, the thinner Trojan, so 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:21.040 I go to pull that out. The nigga is like, 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:22.960