WEBVTT - Seeking Skydiving Partner with Chelsea Vaughn 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell I Suck at Dating with de Youngler and Jared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:10.880 Haven and I heard radio podcast What's going on? Everyone? 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:13.680 Welcome to an all new episode of Help I Suck 0:00:13.840 --> 0:00:16.280 At Dating? And we've got a great episode in store 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.079 for you. Today, we have the one and only Chelsea 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:25.160 Vaughan from Matt James season. Yes, yes, okay cool. I 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:27.840 thought I was right, but I wanted to make sure. Okay, cool, 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:30.319 So Chelsea Bond from Matt James season and Paradise is 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:33.520 gonna be joining us. And um, it's really a great 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:38.360 episode because Jared's gone today and um, and that's always 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:40.239 just a rare treat that we get to experience here 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:42.640 I Help I Suck at Dating. So in his steed 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:45.599 we have Kaylin and Alista are going to join us 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:50.440 for the episode this week. Here's Alistair. There he is. 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:53.560 He might not say much, but Calin might not say 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:58.800 much either. I guess, um, But before we started, you 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:01.240 guys were just discussing how or not discussing, but I 0:01:01.280 --> 0:01:03.720 guess remembering how you guys, So you guys met in 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:06.040 New York for a fashion week? Is is that right? 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:09.040 You guys just fairly past each other. Yeah, we were 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:14.000 both waiting to go inside Alix and Olivia and um, 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:18.559 my manager used to work with Klin, so she told 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:20.240 me that you were at another event that I was 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:21.960 at earlier that week, but I missed you and I 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:23.639 wanted to meet you. And then I saw you outside 0:01:23.640 --> 0:01:24.720 and You're like hey, and I was like hey, and 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.000 then we're trying to get in, so so yeah, it 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:29.399 was amazing. She was in this like red trench coat 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.800 and Chelsea is obviously very tall, so she's hard to miss. 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.280 And I was like, oh, so, it's very happy to 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:37.320 meet you. And we kind of we're struggling to get 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:41.080 in together because it was just chaotic and neither one 0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:42.959 of us I feel like, are going to go to 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:45.000 the front and be like I need to get in here. 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:46.560 So we were kind of like on the sidelines, just 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:50.080 waiting to get in, but we eventually made it. Yeah, 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:51.640 it's funny. I was just thinking about this because like, 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:53.880 I've done Fashion Week so many times, but like on 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.320 the other side as a model, so I've never been 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:58.240 like the person that's like, oh my god, you know 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:00.360 who I am, Like I'm trying to get in. So 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:02.120 I was like, I'm I will not be doing that. 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:03.960 I will stand here all night before I walk up 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.040 to the front and like cut the line and be like, 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:09.640 excuse me exactly? Is that the one that you were 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:12.760 saying that they like wouldn't let you in? That was 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:16.359 a different brand. So there was multiple There was multiple 0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:18.240 of these places that you try to go, and they 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:21.200 were like disorganized every single well not every single one, 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:26.120 but that was the most chaotic one for me. Um 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:27.560 And I also feel like I had a little bit 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:30.960 of like imposter syndrome because I'm like their actual celebrities 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:32.519 like right next to us trying to get it. Like 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.320 I don't consider myself celebrity, so I'm just like feel 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:37.560 really weird when like Nikki Hill and then like Madison 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:39.120 Pettis are like right next to me. So I was 0:02:39.160 --> 0:02:43.480 just like, I don't know what I'm doing here and 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:46.040 pick names. We walked in. I don't know if you 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.760 saw her, but we walked in as Katie Holmes was exiting. Yes, 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:51.480 I saw her. What am I doing here? Right? I 0:02:51.560 --> 0:02:53.560 was like, I don't I mean, maybe they shouldn't let 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:56.440 me in. I don't know. He's gotta fake it till 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:59.080 you make it. I guess. Yeah, Well, so that's right, 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:04.040 because you are fashion model right. Yeah, so before the show, 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:07.440 I was like doing a lot of runway. Um. I 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:11.520 still do like beauty and commercial and like bridle sometimes. Um, 0:03:11.560 --> 0:03:13.160 but I haven't. I haven't been back on the runway 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:17.240 actually since the show, which is crazy. What is what 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:18.920 do you mean you have been back on the roadway. 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:22.000 So you've just been doing like the influencing stuff. Yeah. 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:25.240 So I'm still signed with my same agency. Um. But 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:27.720 then when I got back, like I mean I needed 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:31.760 a minute to recover, um, and then I went back 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:33.760 on Paradise, So then it was kind of like starting 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:37.280 the process all over again. Um. But like I started 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:42.760 working with my manager on brand partnerships and like influencing stuff. 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:45.560 So then it was like, wow, this is a lot 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:49.360 easier and it pays me a lot more money than modeling. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:51.760 Kind of was just like not really going through as 0:03:51.760 --> 0:03:53.800 many castings and stuff just because the rates are so 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:55.640 low and it's just it's a lot of work for 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:59.320 like very little return. Yeah. And so this was the 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.640 first fashion week that you were a non model. Yeah, 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:05.200 I didn't go to single casting. It's never happened before. 0:04:05.840 --> 0:04:08.480 And did you prefer this over the ladder or I 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:12.120 guess over the former. M M. I think it's like 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:15.600 kind of more fun, Like they're both work. But do 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.840 you enjoy like sitting there and watching a fashion show, 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:19.799 because like I love fashion, Like I went to school 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:23.120 for fashion. Um, so it was just different. But there's 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:25.680 really nothing like being like the rush of being on 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:27.839 a runway, like I kind of missed. I kind of 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:30.280 missed that adrenaline. I can only imagine what that must 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:32.400 feel like. I asked, Caitlin, watch you didn't walk? But 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:34.120 I guess it's not as simple as just being like, hey, 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:36.800 I want to walk into York Fashion Week. So I'm 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:38.920 like five four and she'll see you're probably like six 0:04:38.920 --> 0:04:43.400 ft or something. Yeah I am. Yeah. Well, so the 0:04:43.480 --> 0:04:45.880 New York Fashion Week must be like the holy mecca 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:49.760 of your not your years specifically, but like you live 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:53.479 in New York, you love fashion, your model well, and 0:04:53.520 --> 0:04:55.760 now an influencer. I guess, so like really is like 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.440 a culmination of all the things that I mean, I 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:00.320 don't know, it just seems like it's crazy that all 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.120 of that culminates into one weekend for you. Yeah, it 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:05.360 was a crazy week and I like stacked my schedule too, 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:07.120 because I really wanted to do as much as I 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.400 could now that I was like on the viewer side. Um, 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:13.400 so it was really packed and exhausting, but also fun, 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:15.920 like you get to play dress up all week and 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:19.240 you know, to your friends, so it was cool. Yeah, nice, 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:21.400 Well all right, sorry, sorry for focusing on fashioning for 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:24.000 so much. So I've got some questions for you. So okay, 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:27.120 we we saw you on Matt season, and we fell 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:28.440 in love with you on Matt season, and then we 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:31.320 saw you come back for Paradise. Remind me of your 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:35.800 experience in Paradise, just to just to jog my memory. Okay, 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:41.440 quick synopsis. I came in halfway through the season and 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:43.840 everyone was already pretty much coupled up except for Aaron 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:46.559 and James, and so then I started talking to Aaron. 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:48.880 We went on one on one day when horseback rode 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:53.840 into the sunset and then um, he gave me his rose, 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.840 I gave me. I gave him my rose. Damar came in. 0:05:56.880 --> 0:06:01.440 I went on a date with him briefly. Um, Ivan 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:06.880 and I made out really quickly, and then Aaron got mad. 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:09.880 They almost got a fight, and then Aaron made out 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:13.560 with Tia and sent me home. Oh my gosh, I 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:18.919 do remember all this drama now, I remember. I remember 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:21.039 when DeMar came. I was like, oh, DeMar is hot. 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:22.880 I kind of and I like, I love Aaron. I 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:24.960 think Aaron's super hot and a super goof funny, goofy 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:27.960 guy too. But I remember when Demark came, I was like, wow, 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:30.000 I don't know, I just thought he was he was 0:06:30.000 --> 0:06:34.280 pretty hot. Um, so okay, So then you went home 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:36.559 when Aaron didn't give you the rose? How have things 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:40.440 been post show in terms of just your dating life then? Like? 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:43.599 What did was there ever a chance for I guess 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:45.560 I guess Aaron made his choice to go with T 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:47.640 at that point, so he's he's kicked to the curve. 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:49.680 But but was there ever anything in your mind where 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:52.000 you wanted to maybe continue something with Ivan or Damar? 0:06:53.720 --> 0:06:59.000 Um not Ivan. I think we're just not like personality 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.039 was compatible all that much. I think, like, honestly, if 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:04.720 I'm like, if I'm being completely honest, I had the 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:07.960 rose that week and I was like tripping on power 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:09.720 and I was like, I really just want to cause 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:12.240 some chaos because, like I came in late, nobody wanted 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:15.000 to have fun anymore. Nobody wants to drink like everyone's 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:19.000 like tired, I've been sitting in a hotel room for 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.520 two weeks, Like I just wanna have fun, so I 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:24.440 don't want to like a little chaotic that day. Um 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.480 So that's all that was. Um. I talked to Jamar 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.280 for a little bit afterwards, but like it just was 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.880 more friend vibes, I think. And then as far as 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:36.480 like dating in New York after, it's kind of tough. 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:39.520 I mean, you guys, well you came off your show together, 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:41.080 so I guess you never got to worry about like 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:44.120 dating after. But like people, especially in New York, like, no, 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:46.880 who I am? And you can recognize me as you said, 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:50.560 I'm very tall and noticeable, so like you would think 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.200 that guys don't really watch the show like the way 0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:55.720 the girls do. But like if I've been on dates 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:59.160 like some hinge and like other apps whatever, and I'm like, oh, 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:01.880 this guy doesn't know anything great and then like two 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:04.160 hours in they're like, oh, my roommates actually were hoping 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:06.920 I'd bring you home so that they could meet you. 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:11.760 Oh my god. What well I will say, I will 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:14.760 say because it was I had two years between my 0:08:14.760 --> 0:08:16.960 first show and then meeting Klin. I think two or 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:18.640 three ors or something like that. And I will say 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:20.640 whenever we visited New York, like my friends and I, 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:25.360 New York was the place where it seemed the most chaotic. Yeah, 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:28.800 like there's just such a high concentration of bachelor fans 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:31.640 in New York for some reason. Yeah, they don't care either. 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:33.840 They'll like come right up to you. They maybe that's 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:35.760 what it is. They're not taking pictures of you, but 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.480 they will. Yeah. I think, like I live in Brooklyn, 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:40.360 so it's a little more chill here, like people. I 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:42.080 think people know I live in Brooklyn, so they kind 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:44.200 of like respect my space here, Like, Okay, she's in 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.640 her neighborhood, like, don't come up to her. But like 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:50.880 whenever I go to this like Manhattan, everyone doesn't care. Yeah, 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:54.520 Manhattan is pure chaos. I remember one of my best 0:08:54.600 --> 0:08:57.440 friends was moving to away from the country and so 0:08:57.559 --> 0:08:59.480 we had a going away party for him in New 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:02.760 York and it was like six of us and they 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.760 were they were like, there's like other guys that had 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:07.480 never been on the show before, and they were like, 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:11.640 you's like fully taking advantage of the privilege that I 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:13.960 had to like sometimes jump the line. It would be 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:16.200 it was just like so ridiculous, and every time we 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:17.760 went in somewhere, they got all the attention from all 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:20.960 the girls and so so ever since then, honestly, I'm like, 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:22.360 I don't think I can go to New York for 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:24.280 a couple of years, Like I need this. This needs 0:09:24.280 --> 0:09:26.200 to like die down a little bit, so it props 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:29.240 to you for sticking it out and living there. Yeah, 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:32.760 I thought that like it would die down after I 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:35.600 don't know, it got worse after Paradise, Like there's there's 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:37.480 a whole different group of people that watch Paradise and 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:40.200 don't even watch the regular show anymore. Yeah, so I 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:42.080 was like, Okay, yeah, it'll like die down a little bit. 0:09:42.080 --> 0:09:43.560 People are going to be tired of me, Like there's 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:48.760 new seasons. And then I was like, it's worse. Are 0:09:48.840 --> 0:09:50.360 we are we going to see you on this new 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:54.000 season in Paradise? You're not you We're not coming on. 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:55.599 I feel like the way you said it, it it was 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:59.040 kind of like like you're hinting at you actually are. Yeah, 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:01.880 not now, I will not be there. I've done my 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:06.040 stint in Mexico and all said on that, Um, yeah, 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:08.800 I think I'm just like obviously I'm very grateful for 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:10.600 the show and like the whole platform it brought me 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:12.800 and all my friends and everything. But I'm like, I 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:14.360 think I'm ready to close the chapter. I might to 0:10:14.480 --> 0:10:17.600 move on doing things good. Good for you because we're 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:23.400 still holding on tight. What what is the next chapter 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:26.320 you're going to be for you? Do you think? Um? 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:28.920 I mean I've been working with my team on a podcast. 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:33.199 Actually I've never said this publicly. Yeah, congratulations, thanks, It's 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:35.920 real now I just said it out loud. Um. So yeah, 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.160 I'm really excited about that and like to share more 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:40.160 when it's ready. It's definitely not ready right now. It's 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:43.760 a very raw note in my iPhone and I just 0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.200 unboxed my equipment for the first time. I'm like spoken 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:51.320 to the microphone. But yeah, I'm excited about that because 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:53.200 I feel like, I don't know, I feel like even 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:56.520 like in the modeling industry or like even on The Bachelor, 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:58.880 like I didn't really get to talk that much. Like 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:01.920 that sounds weird, but like I was very much portrayed 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:03.960 as like, Okay, she's the hot model girl, like not 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:06.920 a bad problem to have, but I didn't really get 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:08.840 to speak or like have an opinion or a voice. 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:10.600 It was just like always me like giggling or like 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:15.480 runaway walking. Um so I really want to like actually 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.720 connect more on a deeper level of people and like 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:21.120 people that follow me. Um yeah, just share more of 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.839 my opinion? Do you wanna you know, I definitely don't 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:24.719 have to do this, but like, do you want to 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:28.680 share more about what it's going to be about? Um again, 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:31.319 it's very raw, but like it's just gonna be kind 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:33.679 of like how I am on my page, Like once 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:35.080 a week I'll do like a Q and I on 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:37.800 Sundays about like a topic that I think is interesting 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:40.600 or like I don't know something that people like DM 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.959 me a lot. Um so, like people are always like 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:44.920 how are you so confident? Or like people love to 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:48.440 know like behind the scenes of modeling industry or just 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:52.240 about like, um, I don't know relationships, dating, everything that 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:55.160 happens for like a twenty something in New York. But 0:11:55.240 --> 0:12:01.199 I just turned thirty. Oh my god, I'm something. Yeah. Well, hey, 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.120 welcome to the club thirties. Not so bad, I promise 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:06.920 you that much. It's going pretty well so far. Yeah, well, 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:08.160 we don't have much to offer you in terms of 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.040 New York. But if you ever need guests for your podcast, 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:14.280 We're happy to return the Yeah I will. Yeah. So 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:15.680 I know you mentioned a little bit, So tell us 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.240 more about what dating in New York is like post 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:21.520 show specifically, like especially with your friend group, because I 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.040 feel like there's a lot of girls from your season 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:24.720 that are all friends out there in New York, right, 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:26.760 So do you guys go out together a lot? And like, 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:29.800 how do you like navigate I guess the dating field 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:35.160 out there. Yeah, right after our season, Matt season ended. Um, 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:37.560 a lot of my girls from the season like moving 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:41.880 to great such a big hub like in the past, 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.120 but everyone decided to come to York for some reasons. 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:45.800 I'm very happy about that. They're like eight of us 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:49.160 here at one at one point. Um. Yeah, so that 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:55.000 was really fun. And after math, obviously most of us 0:12:55.040 --> 0:13:00.000 were single except for Rachel Um. And then after Paradise 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:03.199 Is everyone all of my friends got in a relationship 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:07.560 except for me. So that was tough because I felt 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.280 like nobody could really relate because I was just I 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:13.880 feel like very isolated in this situation where like I 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:16.760 was just on the show. Everyone recognized me and I'm single, 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.480 like all of you guys came away with somebody, so 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:22.280 I was like, this sucks. Um. So that's that's been that. 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:26.760 That's been a little hard um. And then also like coincidentally, 0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:28.800 all the people in my life that like my friends 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.480 from before the show also like happened to fall in 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:33.880 love and so I was just like, okay, cool, I'll 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.960 just be single forever. But no, no, no no. I 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:38.560 got to a point where I was just like you 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:42.240 know when you are like seeking something out so badly 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:45.480 that it's just like it's not gonna happen. Like I 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.200 felt like I just needed to step away from it. 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:49.200 So I was like, I hate to be like that person. 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:50.640 I's like, oh my god, I just leaded all the 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:54.280 apps like I'm so over it because I feel like 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:55.720 people were like I deleted all the apps and they 0:13:55.800 --> 0:14:00.080 redownload deletedad. But like in New York, that's really like 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:03.280 how people like meet like there's really it feels like 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:05.320 there's really no other way to meet people unless you're 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:09.439 on apps. So I got on Riya because I was like, Okay, 0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:13.679 maybe that'll be like cool. Um, And I feel like 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.160 people are on there just to like see other people 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.440 at the scene, like nobody's actually trying to take you 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.400 on a date. Um, they're nice to look at, but 0:14:21.840 --> 0:14:25.760 nobody like I couldn't find a whole conversation or like 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:29.520 actually make it to the date stage. Um. So now 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:32.080 I'm in a period where I'm like I think I'm 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:33.760 all set, Like I think I'm just gonna focus on 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:38.040 myself for a while, and like I really feel like 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:40.120 when you put all your time and energy into yourself 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:42.680 and like work on things and self care and like 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:45.960 focus on work whatever, like that energy comes back to you, 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:47.640 like people feel that coming off of you, and then 0:14:47.680 --> 0:14:50.560 you attract the right people into your life. So that's 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:54.040 that's the goal. Right now, I just like don't want 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:56.600 to be so like focused on it because I feel 0:14:56.600 --> 0:15:01.120 like that's super annoying. Yeah, now you're coming from It's 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:04.000 tricky though, because you go, excuse me, you go on 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.760 the Bachelor, right like, and obviously your persona or your 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:12.320 life becomes so like heavy focused on finding someone, and 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:14.280 then you come off the show and it's hard to 0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.040 like just switch gears back to normalcy after that. And 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:17.640 then you go on Paradise and it's like the same thing, 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:19.280 and then you come off the show and it's like 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.560 hard to switch gears back to normalcy. So I can 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.280 see why you've kind of been in that situation or 0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:27.880 like that mindset where you're not like not like hopeless 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:30.440 and like desperate of the fur love kind of thing, 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:33.360 but like you're so used to having people talk to 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:35.480 you about wanting to find a relationship, so naturally you're 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.160 just gonna be like, yeah, I want to have a relationship, 0:15:37.200 --> 0:15:38.960 and you kind of get I guess, hung up on 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:41.480 the whole whole aspect of it. That's true. That's a 0:15:41.520 --> 0:15:44.600 really good point because I feel like my even like 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:46.920 my therapist was like because I was like, She's like, 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:48.600 why do you want to be in a relationship so bad? 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:50.680 And I was like, well, I just want somebody that 0:15:50.720 --> 0:15:53.440 like compliments my life, like I want someone that enhances 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:55.320 my life. And she was like, in what ways right 0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:57.440 now do you feel like your life could be enhanced? 0:15:57.920 --> 0:15:59.720 And I really couldn't answer the question, Like it was 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.840 like know what another person could bring to me right 0:16:02.840 --> 0:16:06.680 now that I can't bring to myself. UM. So it 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:08.400 just like made me think about another way because I 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:10.120 feel like I was in that mode where people are 0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:14.280 just like relationship relationship relationships and um and also like 0:16:14.320 --> 0:16:18.239 seeing everyone else in my life being one at the time. Um, 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:20.640 So that really like made me take a step a 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:22.600 step back and be like, Okay, you can chill out 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:25.800 like it's gonna come when its right, and you're only 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:36.640 thirty years old. You got plenty of time. That's true. 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:41.360 I remember one of my biggest gripes with the whole 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:45.680 post Bachelor Bachelor in Paradise thing was uh, and it's 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:48.240 I guess it's it's a gripe. But like, at the 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.280 same time, like you said earlier, you're still appreciative of 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.760 everything that's come because of everything, right, So, um, I 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:58.000 hated how the only like arena people knew me in 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.560 was a dating from a dating aspect of it, where 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:04.040 it's like if you're like a musician or like a 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:08.000 pro snowboarder, people know you as a musician or a snowboarder. 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:10.639 But because we've only been ever introduced to the public 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:13.320 as someone that wants to be in a relationship, they 0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:15.960 only ever think of you or me. I guess in 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:18.240 this case that I'm I'm telling the story from, they 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.399 only think of me as someone that like wants to 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:25.280 date and so like people that would comment publicly like 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.480 on Instagram or whatever it would be, are always like 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:33.000 super critical of either your singleness or the pace at 0:17:33.000 --> 0:17:35.719 what you're moving in your relationship. And it's never anything 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:38.119 more than that because like that's really the only way 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:40.080 they get to know you is through you wanting to 0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:42.040 to date people. And I don't really know like what 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:43.880 the point of this is, but it's just something. It's 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:48.080 just it's something that I've noticed a few times and 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:50.960 I absolutely hate it. And I don't know if you 0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:54.040 ever experienced that too. I mean I definitely feel like 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:57.600 I've experienced that in many different ways. Like it's almost 0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:59.639 like you're just put in this box, like you're a 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:01.679 person that I know, and I know all about your 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:05.640 dating life, and so I feel like entitled to know 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:07.760 what you're doing with your dating life at all times 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:09.160 because that's how they got to know me, that's something 0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:11.440 they found me. So it's like if I don't talk 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:13.600 about who I'm dating or whatever like for a while, 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:15.959 like people are like, well, what's going on? Or if 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:17.560 I do, like people are always going to be like 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:19.879 all my business. So like that's another thing I've been 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.640 thinking about too. It's like if I or when I 0:18:22.680 --> 0:18:25.439 do find whoever I want to date, Like, am I 0:18:25.440 --> 0:18:27.879 going to post them on my feed? Like? How long 0:18:27.920 --> 0:18:29.560 am I gonna way to do that? Like the whole 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:32.159 hard Launched Soft launched, Like it's just like a lot, 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:34.840 especially with somebody that's not in this world at all. 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:37.800 It's like they don't maybe they don't want to deal 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.040 with that, Like that's kind of annoying. Like I almost 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:42.720 feel bad when I like go out with people and 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:44.760 like people come up to me because I feel like 0:18:44.760 --> 0:18:47.679 it's annoying to me. Obviously it doesn't bother me, but 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:50.760 it's like I'm very grateful and like people say only 0:18:50.840 --> 0:18:52.360 nice things, so it's like how could I be mad 0:18:52.359 --> 0:18:55.320 at that? But like to my friends and stuff, sometimes 0:18:55.320 --> 0:18:59.080 I'm like sorry, like sorry, like I don't I don't 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:00.720 know how to handle that. Like some people. I wouldn't 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:02.200 even blame that if somebody was like, oh, I don't 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.119 really want to date you because like that's annoying, Like 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:08.160 I would be like, yeah, yeah, we got lucky, because 0:19:08.160 --> 0:19:09.480