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Speaker 1: This is John. This is your og okay Storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 1: got a quick tune in an ad break from a sponsors,

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Speaker 1: keeping the show rocking and rolling. My fiance demanded my

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Speaker 1: son's benefits to pay rent, but I'm standing my ground.

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Speaker 2: Those aren't your benefits.

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Speaker 1: My son, fifteen Mail, receives eleven hundred dollars a month

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Speaker 1: in Social Security survivor benefits from his late father, who

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Speaker 1: passed away when my son was five. My boyfriend forty

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Speaker 1: Mail and I have been in and on again off

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Speaker 1: again relationship for a long time. Things have been good

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Speaker 1: recently and he has proposed we are now planning on

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Speaker 1: getting a house together. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 1: original entry seventy eight seventy one, and if you want

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Speaker 1: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime subured it.

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Speaker 2: I'm Sophia and I'm Keon with an allergy.

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Speaker 1: And we both have allergies.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's not great, but we're still here to.

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Speaker 1: Give good advice. Goofully, But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 1: We only know what we do, so let us know

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Speaker 1: what you would do in the commons.

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Speaker 2: We just have allergies over here, just have allergies.

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Speaker 1: And OHP says. I have my son and he has

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Speaker 1: three children, but only one of his kids would be

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Speaker 1: living with us full time. The house beer looking at

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Speaker 1: is twenty five hundred dollars a month. My boyfriend's proposed

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Speaker 1: budget is for him to pay nine hundred and fifty,

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Speaker 1: for me to pay nine to fifty, and for us

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Speaker 1: to use six hundred dollars from my son's check for

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Speaker 1: the household. He suggests we can then put the remaining

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Speaker 1: five hundred dollars from the check into savings. My current

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Speaker 1: practice is to give my son half of his check

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Speaker 1: five fifty for his personal use and save the other

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Speaker 1: half for him. I think that since he is almost seventeen,

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Speaker 1: he should have some control over his own money. My

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Speaker 1: boyfriend disagrees completely. He thinks that since we're going to

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Speaker 1: be a family, all the money should be pooled together

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Speaker 1: for shared expenses. He thinks I'm wrong and selfish for

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Speaker 1: not wanting to include the survivor benefits in the May budget.

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Speaker 1: We've been going back and forth on this, and I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling incredibly uncomfortable with his expectation. I feel like the

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Speaker 1: benefits are my son's and should not be used to

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Speaker 1: reduce the adult bolt's portion of the bills. It feels

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Speaker 1: like he's trying to make me subsidize the household using

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Speaker 1: money that was meant for my son's care and future,

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Speaker 1: not to pay his own share of the bills. Am

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Speaker 1: I wrong here? Is it selfish to keep my son's

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Speaker 1: check separate and manage it for his benefit alone? Or

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Speaker 1: is my boyfriend's financial expectation a red flag for a

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Speaker 1: future together? Some of Opia's comments Commeder says he doesn't

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Speaker 1: need five fifty a month. He should have a job

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Speaker 1: for spending money. Go see a lawyer about options with

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Speaker 1: this house, get a cohab agreement. What if he says,

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Speaker 1: I'm not paying mortgage share or utilities, et cetera, you

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Speaker 1: can't punt out. Don't give your boyfriend any money as

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Speaker 1: it's your son's op says he does a job, but

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Speaker 1: he has a car, so that money goes for gas

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Speaker 1: and upkeep. And because he's in school, he doesn't work

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Speaker 1: a lot, only like two days a week. Commoner says,

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Speaker 1: is he fifteen or almost seventeen? Because I am reading

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Speaker 1: both ages in the post. The son will stop receiving

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Speaker 1: benefits at age eighteen or when he graduates high school,

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Speaker 1: whichever is later, so they shouldn't be budge anything short

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Speaker 1: term like that into a budget. That being said, the

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Speaker 1: money is the suns and he should not be paying

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Speaker 1: a portion of someone else's mortgage as a minor. Opie says,

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Speaker 1: almost seventeen, I was typing fast and he works as well.

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Speaker 1: He has a car, but he only works two days

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Speaker 1: a week, so he pays for his car and fast

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Speaker 1: food and stuff like that, and he also saves. He

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Speaker 1: has his own savings outside of the savings that I

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Speaker 1: have for him. That's good. Commner says, I think everyone

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Speaker 1: has given you some great advice, but just wanted to

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Speaker 1: reiterate that he will only receive survivor benefits until he's

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Speaker 1: eighteen or out of school, so really short term to

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Speaker 1: be using anything like that for budgeting. Good luck. Please

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Speaker 1: advocate for your son. My son receives survivor's benefits as well,

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Speaker 1: and I'd never consider pulling money that wasn't directly for

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Speaker 1: his care. Opie says, yes, this is the way I

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Speaker 1: feel about it, so I don't include it in my

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Speaker 1: budget at all. But I do understand that giving him

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Speaker 1: all the money is not a great idea. Once he

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Speaker 1: became a teenager, I slowly increased his budget. Now he

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Speaker 1: has a car and he's paying for the maintenance of

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Speaker 1: that gas and he works part time as well. He

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Speaker 1: also saves his money separately from the savings that I'm

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Speaker 1: saving from him and saves Commander says, Also, if oh

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Speaker 1: p he should pay abortion, the boyfriend should pay a portion,

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Speaker 1: and Ope's son should pay abortion, what about the three

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Speaker 1: kids from the boyfriend? If we're going by his logic

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Speaker 1: and the kids should be putting into the fund, why

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Speaker 1: are his kids not contributing, especially the one that will

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Speaker 1: be with them full time? Op says, this is the

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Speaker 1: argument that I have, But he's saying that I'm wrong

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Speaker 1: for this. I'm totally willing to cut off the relationship

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Speaker 1: behind us. I just wanted your guys's opinion so I

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Speaker 1: could show him that I'm not wrong. Commoner says, what's

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Speaker 1: his kid paying to live there? I'm not trying to

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Speaker 1: be mean at all, but do you care about your kid?

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Speaker 1: If so, you wouldn't let this on again, off again

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Speaker 1: man steal from him Opie says, he said that his

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Speaker 1: kids shouldn't have to pay because they don't get a

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Speaker 1: check from the government.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, oh wow wow.

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Speaker 1: Yep, you should be off again, go back to off.

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Speaker 2: Again, off, got to stay off yep.

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Speaker 1: To the many, many many people telling Ope to break

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Speaker 1: up with him, Ope says, right, and I'm totally willing

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Speaker 1: to cut the relationship off about this, and after reading

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Speaker 1: all the comments, I'm probably just gonna go ahead and

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Speaker 1: end it, even if he backs up on his statements.

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Speaker 1: After seeing this, Ominer says, just curious, are these Social

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Speaker 1: Security survivor benefits? If so, does your boyfriend realize that

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Speaker 1: these benefits end when your son turns eighteen? How does

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Speaker 1: he propose to fill the financial gap once that happens.

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Speaker 1: Opie says, yes, they are. I said that to him

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Speaker 1: as well. Commra says, I'm so proud of you, honey,

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Speaker 1: you totally got this. Just imagine how much more calm

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Speaker 1: life will be when it's just the two of you.

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Speaker 1: Opie says, thank you. Luckily we don't live together now,

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Speaker 1: and honestly, I'm happy this conversation came up today. It's

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Speaker 1: making me rethink everything I'm going to give them back

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Speaker 1: the ring and call everything off. Everyone just reinforced what

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Speaker 1: my gut told me. I'm not crazy and it's wrong.

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Speaker 1: Before I made this post, I was really feeling like

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Speaker 1: it wasn't gonna work and this would be my hill

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Speaker 1: to pass away on. But all of these comments really

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Speaker 1: opened my eyes. I got to work on my people

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Speaker 1: pleasing tendencies and start trusting my gut. And Ope says,

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Speaker 1: me and his dad weren't married. We were engaged when

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Speaker 1: he got into his accident. That's why I didn't get

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Speaker 1: benefits directly. Honestly, I make a decent income. I don't

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Speaker 1: need the money, and I always look at it like,

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Speaker 1: that's not my money, that's his money. I grew up

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Speaker 1: with a cousin who got a Social Security check because

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Speaker 1: their mom was disabled, and they never got any of

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Speaker 1: the money, and I saw how they felt as they

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Speaker 1: got older. So when everything happened, I said I would

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Speaker 1: never do that to my son. Once he got into

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Speaker 1: eighth grade, I gradually started giving him more and more

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Speaker 1: of the money for his pocket so he could start

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Speaker 1: practicing budgeting. When he turned sixteen, he got a twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three car because his father passed away in an

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Speaker 1: accident and there was a settlement. He has money put

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Speaker 1: up for college, and he should have some left after two.

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Speaker 1: He works part time, and he saves money on his

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Speaker 1: own outside of the money that I have saved for

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Speaker 1: him and his college fund. He's a pretty good kid,

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Speaker 1: always been level headed and mature. I've been blessed. Also,

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Speaker 1: I don't give him the money all at once. It's

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Speaker 1: about one hundred and twenty five dollars a week. He

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Speaker 1: also works and his check is probably about two hundred dollars,

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Speaker 1: so he only has about three to four hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: a week, and he saves a lot of it. He

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Speaker 1: has a pretty big chunk saved up on his own. Again,

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Speaker 1: he's a very responsible kid. He paid for his car maintenance,

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Speaker 1: fast food, dates with his girlfriend or hanging out with

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Speaker 1: his friends, or expensive clothes or shoes that are like

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Speaker 1: outside of what I purchase for him. And there is

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Speaker 1: an update four days later. But it does seem like

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Speaker 1: Ope's on the way to break it up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it also seems like Opie's a very good parent.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it seems like she's really helping her son with

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Speaker 1: the budgeting stuff. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think everyone would support that, Like, yes, it is

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Speaker 2: his money. But the fact that you like, maybe we

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Speaker 2: start start small, because I mean, if you gave this

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Speaker 2: boy all the money, he would be Yeah, any teenager

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Speaker 2: would be just like, I'm gonna spend it usually.

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Speaker 3: On you.

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Speaker 2: And he seems like a good kid too, and you

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Speaker 2: just don't need oh man, the fact that he's like

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Speaker 2: he needs to pay his portion, like he's got that's

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Speaker 2: that money from the government. It's for us, Like nah, nah.

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Speaker 2: Even I think even if he did apologize for Opie's

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Speaker 2: boyfriend or fiance or whatever, whoever is gonna get broken

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Speaker 2: up with very soon. It like, even if get backed

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Speaker 2: up on it, he's like, oh, I'm sorry, I would

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Speaker 2: have been like, nahdude, that was that was really really whack.

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Speaker 2: You're We're done, I agree.

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Speaker 1: Update four days later, following my original post, I ended

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Speaker 1: the relationship with my ex over the weekends nice. The

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Speaker 1: breakup escalated into a heated argument, with him repeatedly calling

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Speaker 1: and threatening to go to my mother's and grandmother's homes

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Speaker 1: to cause a scene. I had to call his mother

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Speaker 1: to calm him down.

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Speaker 2: True colors are being shown right now.

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Speaker 1: Big time. This was the final straw for me in

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Speaker 1: the argument. I also discovered he isn't paying child support

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Speaker 1: for his minor child. Combined with his harmful end behavior,

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Speaker 1: our engagement and plans to buy a house are off.

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Speaker 1: For those who commented about the five hundred dollars, my

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Speaker 1: son is a very responsible young man whose college is

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Speaker 1: already paid for. He has a car and a part

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Speaker 1: time job, and saves a significant portion of his spending money.

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Speaker 1: The issue was never about the amount, but about my

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Speaker 1: ex's and manipulation regarding our finances to gain control. I

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Speaker 1: am now focused on my my family's safety. I have

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Speaker 1: blocked all contact and am documenting all threats in case

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Speaker 1: legal action is needed. Thank you for your support. I

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Speaker 1: am choosing my well being and finally feel a sense

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Speaker 1: of relief and strength. And that is the end of

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Speaker 1: the story. My fiance scam cost us our entire life savings,

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Speaker 1: and he lied to cover it up.

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Speaker 2: This man's just full of lies.

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Speaker 1: My fiance was selling his old mountain bike online. Someone

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Speaker 1: messaged him with an offer and said they would send

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Speaker 1: the funds in advance, then have their cousin pick up

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Speaker 1: the bike the next day. My fiance had promised me

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Speaker 1: he would only accept pickup in person with cash in hand.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from throwaway account for two

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Speaker 1: and if you want to spit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 2: I'm Sofia, I'm Keon, and you're probably questioning why I'm

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Speaker 2: wearing these glasses.

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Speaker 1: We have allergies collectively, and they sucked something's in the

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Speaker 1: air pollen and we're here to give good advice. Goofiley regardless.

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Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 1: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 1: do in the comments. Annop says for context, in Canada,

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Speaker 1: the main way and safest way to transfer funds is

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Speaker 1: through your bank. It's tied to your account and you

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Speaker 1: can only transfer what you actually have in the account,

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Speaker 1: and there's a daily limit. It's also tied to your

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Speaker 1: identity since it's connected to your bank account. My fiance

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Speaker 1: told with the buyer he would accept a transfer. That

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Speaker 1: is when the scam started. The buyer sent the transfer,

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Speaker 1: but accidentally added an extra zero to the amount. My

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Speaker 1: fiance told the buyer he would transfer back since it

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Speaker 1: was a mistake. The buyer then claimed he was locked

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Speaker 1: out of his bank due to the mistake and asked

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Speaker 1: my fiance to transfer the money to his cousin's account.

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Speaker 1: My fiance did it. I have no idea why my

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Speaker 1: fiance sent back the whole amount instead of just subtracting

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Speaker 1: the payment for the bike. Then the buyer sent out

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Speaker 1: another transfer and the same thing happened. Next, the buyer

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Speaker 1: asked my fiance to use a different app that starts

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Speaker 1: with a P since he was still locked out of

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Speaker 1: his bank account. He sent the money again, but with

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Speaker 1: another extra zero and doubled it. My fiance once again

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Speaker 1: sent back the funds. The buyer then asked if my

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Speaker 1: fiance would take a check. They arranged to meet in

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Speaker 1: person with the buyer's cousin, who gave my fiance a

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Speaker 1: check for more than the agreed amount, calling it bonus

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Speaker 1: for the trouble. My fiance deposited the check and even

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Speaker 1: tried to use some of the funds. It turned out

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Speaker 1: that the first transfer was from a stolen account due

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Speaker 1: to identity theft, and it was reversed. The funds from

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Speaker 1: the other app were also from a stolen account and

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Speaker 1: were reversed. The check was fake and clawed back by

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Speaker 1: the bank. On top of this, the transfers my fiance

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Speaker 1: made to pay back the scammer were gone for good.

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Speaker 1: Our entire savings account is gone. Everything we had saved

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Speaker 1: for a down payment is gone. We were looking for

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Speaker 1: a house and now all that is gone. I did

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Speaker 1: not find out until after the fact. I get alerts

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Speaker 1: anytime there's a transaction on our savings account, but my

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Speaker 1: fiance deleted them. I do shift work, so I was

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Speaker 1: asleep and he went into my phone to delete the

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Speaker 1: texts because he did not want me to find out

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Speaker 1: he broke his promise about only accepting cash. I am

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Speaker 1: so angry. I'm not an angry guy in general, but

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Speaker 1: I am furious. We have been dealing with the bank

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Speaker 1: and the app no success. We took all the messages

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Speaker 1: and even doorbell cam footage to multiple levels of police.

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Speaker 1: It did not change anything. The bank says my fiance

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Speaker 1: voluntarily made the transfers and cannot reverse them. The money

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Speaker 1: is gone because of the fake check. Our savings account

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Speaker 1: was closed. My fiance's personal account was closed to the

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Speaker 1: bank told him to take his business elsewhere and that

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Speaker 1: they will not provide mortgage services to us. My personal

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Speaker 1: account is safe since I used a different bank, but

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter We lost our down payments, our future house,

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Speaker 1: and even our wedding venue because we had to cancel

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Speaker 1: it just to get the deposit back so we could

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Speaker 1: afford July rent. I warn my fiance that anyone claiming

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Speaker 1: they can recover the money is lying. I will ignore them,

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Speaker 1: and socious he I'm devastated. I know it was just money, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: but it feels like a nightmare. I cannot wake up

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Speaker 1: from more than the money. My fiance broke my trust,

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Speaker 1: he lied to me, broke his promise, and hid everything.

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Speaker 1: Right now, I do not even recognize him. Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: Any advice please, malignant. Indignant says yeah, obviously no success.

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Speaker 1: They literally warn you ten plus times perhaps not to

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Speaker 1: do this. They're not giving you anything. That money is

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Speaker 1: long gone. The lead it says, I actually got to

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Speaker 1: watch something similar in real time. The guy at the

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Speaker 1: bank kept insisting he needed to transfer money to someone

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Speaker 1: who was clearly scamming him. The teller went round and

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Speaker 1: round with him that it was obviously a scam. He

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Speaker 1: insisted it wasn't he wanted the money. A supervisor came

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Speaker 1: over and also went round and round. The guy eventually

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Speaker 1: said he knew it might be a scam, but he

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Speaker 1: wanted the money in case it wasn't. Finally, the supervisor

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Speaker 1: told them they'd give him the money, but then they

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Speaker 1: would close his account because he was willingly participating in fraud.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy. I know it's a scam, but I want

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Speaker 2: the money.

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Speaker 1: He said that was fine, So they gave him a

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Speaker 1: cashier's check for all the money in his account and

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Speaker 1: closed his account. Sometimes you can't save people two cents

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Speaker 1: worth for you, says I was that teller. What I

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Speaker 1: tried to help A long time customer who just got

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Speaker 1: through a divorce and had a huge chunk of change

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Speaker 1: from the settlement, she got caught up in a romance scam.

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Speaker 1: She never met Romeo in person, but developed a relationship virtually.

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Speaker 1: They were initially introduced by someone whom she met on

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Speaker 1: a cruise. Romeo was military, so he couldn't have social media.

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Speaker 1: The amount of lies and reason she believed that she

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Speaker 1: was fed was staggering. He needed her help to get

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Speaker 1: his share of pay of two point one million dollars

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Speaker 1: out of Afghanistan. All she had to do was send

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Speaker 1: a k to a person She made a Western Union

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Speaker 1: transfer of the amount I asked her if she knew

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Speaker 1: this person. She said no. I told her that she's

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Speaker 1: being scammed. I did a stop to the transfer and

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Speaker 1: managed to recover that money for She took all the

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Speaker 1: info I gave her and left for the day. She

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Speaker 1: returned a couple of days later, standing she needed another

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Speaker 1: fifty k transferred because Customs had this container quarantine. She

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Speaker 1: showed me pictures of it that the Customs officer's center.

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Speaker 1: I asked to see the email address. Everything she showed

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Speaker 1: me screamed of scammers. The email wasn't legit. She's getting

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Speaker 1: so much pressure and guilt tripping from everyone too. I

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Speaker 1: tried with everything I had to get her to see reason,

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Speaker 1: but eventually we closed her accounts and she went elsewhere.

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Speaker 1: I always wondered if she snapped out of it or

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Speaker 1: got least Saul's operation said, I would be rethinking my

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Speaker 1: entire relationship if my partner did something this foolish.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry that was I think that's the first time

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Speaker 2: we've ever seen her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like a commenter'd be like, yeah, that was well.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe they just had a very similar experience,

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Speaker 1: but that's pretty similar.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think the scams happened more more in common,

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Speaker 2: more common than you think. So if you were listening

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Speaker 2: to the story in you know, you know, come on,

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Speaker 2: don't be so trusting with that big of Do.

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Speaker 1: Not be trusting about sending large amounts of money or

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Speaker 1: just any money. Apps like Venmo will have you know the.

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Speaker 2: Verification, like are you sure you want to send this

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Speaker 2: to this person or with the other one.

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Speaker 1: Careful where you send your information, be careful what websites

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Speaker 1: you're buying from.

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Speaker 2: And if you are using your savings account with your partner,

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Speaker 2: maybe you should clear that with them first.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I have a friend who bought some shoes online

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Speaker 1: on a very sketchy website recently or something, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh.

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Speaker 2: Good, even if it's like normal, like and again Amazon,

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Speaker 2: even then it happens.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, just I think I think that actually the best

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Speaker 1: thing to do is to always keep an eye on

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Speaker 1: your credit card and just check on your purchases.

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Speaker 2: I do that all the time.

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Speaker 1: I do. I always check on my purchases. I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 1: do I recognize these things?

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Speaker 2: Even it was two dollars, I'm like, I didn't buy

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Speaker 2: that or like I tend to I was that petty?

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Speaker 2: I would call the bank and be like, listen, fifteen

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Speaker 2: dollars that wasn't me. Yeah, you're like, are you sure?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, one trillion percent wasn't me. Cancel that card,

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Speaker 2: give me a new one.

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Speaker 1: I don't like that absolutely, But there's an update. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: fifteen months later. It's been a rough year, but I

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Speaker 1: Mail thirty two wanted to post an update because so

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Speaker 1: many people were helpful and supportive and what was a

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Speaker 1: dark time. My fiance, David Mail thirty three, had promised

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Speaker 1: me he would only take cash in person when selling

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Speaker 1: his old mountain bike. I don't know why he accepted

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Speaker 1: advanced payments from someone he never met. I don't know

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Speaker 1: why he kept taking electronic payments when there were so

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Speaker 1: many problems. I don't know why he took a check

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Speaker 1: instead of cash when he met the buyer in person.

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Speaker 1: He lied to me about that. He also tried to

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Speaker 1: hide it from me. When the money started to be

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Speaker 1: clawed back. He turned off the text alert's options from

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Speaker 1: our bank when I was sleeping, so I didn't realize

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Speaker 1: what was going on or that money was getting clawed back.

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Speaker 1: Losing the money when we were in the middle of

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Speaker 1: looking for a house was devastating. What was even more

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Speaker 1: devastating was David lying and trying to hide this from me.

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Speaker 1: Between is lying, acting like this wasn't a big deal,

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Speaker 1: losing our down payment and having to cancel our wedding

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00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,399
Speaker 1: venue to get our deposit back so we could pay

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Speaker 1: our rent, my relationship with David fell apart. I was

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Speaker 1: so angry with him. I've spent the last year dealing

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Speaker 1: with the police, the bank, and the other app and

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Speaker 1: all of the wedding vendors we had to cancel on.

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Speaker 1: The police say it is a common scam and David

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Speaker 1: wasn't the only victim they know about. Even worse than

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Speaker 1: all that was David lying to me and doing this

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Speaker 1: and not realizing he was being tricked out of our money.

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Speaker 1: David and I had moved out here a few years

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Speaker 1: ago because the house prices were the lowest in the country.

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Speaker 1: Any final thought.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we saw it coming. Weh Yeah, if someone

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00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,919
Speaker 2: did this, if our partners did this, it's done. It

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00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,320
Speaker 2: does suck. It does suck. And the fact that the

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00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,159
Speaker 2: police said it's more common than you think. Again, if

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Speaker 2: you are listening to this story, do not be one

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00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 2: of those people getting scammed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, don't be ashamed if you have been scammed,

406
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:08,119
Speaker 1: but like, don't lie to your partners. Don't you know,

407
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Speaker 1: double check your accounts.

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00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:11,399
Speaker 2: Uh.

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00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 1: If someone says they're related to you and they're texting

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00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,560
Speaker 1: you from an unknown number, let's let's fact check in

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00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,400
Speaker 1: person with these people. You know. There are so many scams.

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Speaker 1: There's like a even if.

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Speaker 2: You do know people, even if you know people like that, like, oh,

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00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:30,520
Speaker 2: we're acquaintances, be careful with your money.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, there's so many scams out there where people

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Speaker 1: will text you and be like, hey, this is your

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Speaker 1: mom or this is your aunt, can you send me?

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00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,199
Speaker 1: Can you ven mail me some money? You send me

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00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 1: some money, especially if it's a text thing. Oh you

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00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,280
Speaker 1: got the Apple pay now? Oh yeah yeah, you can

421
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 1: send Apple mind.

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Speaker 2: So common now. I hate it because it's like, but

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00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 2: my dad might thankfully my dad, even my dad's far

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00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 2: enough to be like, do you know who what this

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00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,720
Speaker 2: is about? I'm like, don't respond to that. Delete it.

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00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,199
Speaker 2: You don't know the person. Yeah, you don't even know

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Speaker 2: the person.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it?

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00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 3: Do it?

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Speaker 1: I have to. There was a scam that my mom

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00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,359
Speaker 1: was here. My mom just texted and sometimes the end

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Speaker 1: of September. She said, there are tons of scam calls,

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00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 1: So if either of you get a a scam call

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Speaker 1: claiming to be from City Bank or any other bank,

435
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 1: hang up and immediately call your bank to verify. Banks

436
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,120
Speaker 1: never call you. I was just one that like from recently,

437
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 1: I don't answer any calls of people I don't know.

438
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,679
Speaker 2: The funniest ones were like, well't hurt me. It's like

439
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,720
Speaker 2: a bank that I never use, that's not in my bank.

440
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,280
Speaker 2: And the first time I got I was like, do

441
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 2: I have a Chase account? I even have the parents

442
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 2: of do I Do I have this bank? And they're

443
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,159
Speaker 2: like no. I'm like, oh, okay, great, good to know.

444
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. After we broke up, I heard David move back

445
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 1: to his home Province. I'm staying here. I have a

446
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 1: life here, a good job, and I'm not exactly on

447
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 1: the best of terms with my family. But having to

448
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 1: start over from scratch after what David did was hard.

449
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,880
Speaker 1: The last year was a dark time. Not the worst

450
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,359
Speaker 1: in my life, but close. David tried to say I

451
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 1: was victim blaming him because I was angry. He said

452
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 1: he tried to hide what happened because he was ashamed,

453
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 1: and that's why we're breaking up, But he destroyed my

454
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 1: trust and our relationship. Some days I still can't believe

455
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 1: this happened. In short, my relationship with David is over

456
00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:14,120
Speaker 1: and had to find a new place to live. Our

457
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 1: savings were lost, and I'm starting over from scratch. I'll

458
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 1: be okay, but it was a hard year. Jar Zero says,

459
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 1: you weren't victim blaming, you were idiot blaming. Nick mcspeer

460
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 1: says this is such an old scam too, not even

461
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,919
Speaker 1: new or clever. Odd instruction says, this sort of thing

462
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 1: is why people should have a separate account for day

463
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:37,360
Speaker 1: to day expenses, preferably in a different bank from saving accounts.

464
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 1: And that's the end of that story, folks. But be

465
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: careful with your money and break up with people who

466
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,719
Speaker 1: scam yet uh and lie to you about the scams.

467
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 1: I bought a new house with my boyfriend, but he

468
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: refused to help.

469
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,120
Speaker 2: That's your house now.

470
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 1: I bought a house with my partner and we went

471
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 1: fifty fifty. I'm the one looking into everything about guarantees

472
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 1: and repairs. Two weeks ago, oh, I asked my partner

473
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 1: to help me move boxes and furniture to make space

474
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 1: for contractors to do some fixes. I told them I

475
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 1: needed to clear the hallways, move the couch, and move

476
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: a bunch of stuff upstairs and arrange it. And for

477
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 1: that I needed to assemble some shelves. I had already

478
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 1: done over half of them by myself. It's just the

479
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,160
Speaker 1: push in plastic kind. By the way, this comes from

480
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 1: Clean Train eighty two seventy And if you want to

481
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 1: spenit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

482
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:23,840
Speaker 1: storytime subret it.

483
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we.

484
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 1: Both have allergies, we both but we're here to give

485
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:30,439
Speaker 1: good advice. Goofy anyway.

486
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:31,399
Speaker 2: That's how much we'd love you.

487
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 1: And we don't have all the answers, just allergies. We

488
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 1: only know what we'd do. Well, let us know what

489
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:41,199
Speaker 1: you would do about allergies. In the comments, Honey's not

490
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 1: helping and Op says he was on a family trip,

491
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: but said he would gladly help me when he got

492
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: back and that it should be no problem. I was

493
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 1: very stressed and exhausted and had been moving stuff non

494
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 1: stop for some weeks to do to a situation with

495
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 1: my family. I asked him what day I should tell

496
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 1: the contractors to come, and he chose the date. After

497
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 1: he came back, I kept reminding him of all the

498
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 1: things and asked if he wanted to do a little

499
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,239
Speaker 1: bit every day so it wouldn't be too much. He

500
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: said it would be fine to do it last minute.

501
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: He did help me one day to hold a hose

502
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: while I cleaned some containers, and another day to move

503
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 1: eight boxes. Throughout the day, I was worried and literally

504
00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 1: asked him if he wouldn't bail out on me, and

505
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 1: he said he wouldn't. The day before the contractors came,

506
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 1: I kept asking if he wanted to start early, but

507
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 1: he didn't. He said he needed a break and that

508
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 1: we had been doing too many things together. I was

509
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 1: surprised he said it like that, because we had been

510
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: doing chores such as getting groceries, making the bed, buying things,

511
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,679
Speaker 1: cleaning the house after he left the window open and

512
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,120
Speaker 1: water got in. But we also went out to eat

513
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: or watched his shows. I said, okay, as long as

514
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: he promised we would finish At night. He went to

515
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: play some games with his video game team, and I

516
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 1: guess they weren't doing too well because he came in

517
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: and told me he wanted more time to review the

518
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: games with them. He finally finished at midnight. The contractors

519
00:23:56,359 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 1: came at nine am the next day, and I immediately

520
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 1: got up to work. I thought we could finish in

521
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 1: a couple of hours if we worked together. He carried

522
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,440
Speaker 1: a couple of things. I started saying we should move

523
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,919
Speaker 1: some things to make space for the shelves, and he

524
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,640
Speaker 1: stopped me. He told me we should talk about this.

525
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 1: I felt the old one too in my gut because

526
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,800
Speaker 1: I already could tell he was gonna bail out on me.

527
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 1: I asked him to just help me as he said

528
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,919
Speaker 1: he would, because I was tired and stressed about the

529
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 1: time already. He started telling me we actually didn't need

530
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 1: to do all that, that my plan was stupid, and

531
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: then I was hurting myself all while sitting on the

532
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 1: couch while I was moving things around. I told him

533
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: if he wanted to talk, we could talk while working,

534
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,560
Speaker 1: but he insisted I leave everything and go talk with

535
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: him in the bedroom. We ended up arguing, and I

536
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 1: told him if he didn't stay and help, I wouldn't

537
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: believe in him again. He just walked away and told

538
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: me to come talk to him. When I wanted to

539
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,240
Speaker 1: get things done now. She wants to get things done now.

540
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 1: The rest of the night went horribly. It took me

541
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,120
Speaker 1: over four hours to get to a decent place. I'm

542
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,960
Speaker 1: four eleven and not very strong. He's five eight plus,

543
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 1: and I did do a bunch of petty and toxic things,

544
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: like taking away the router and telling him to stop

545
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,679
Speaker 1: playing his guitar loudly. I know it's not good, but

546
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 1: it was eye opening to see him actually have some

547
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 1: urgency for ones searching for the router throughout the house.

548
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 1: By around five or six am, and after I had

549
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: cried my eyes out, he came to help me, but

550
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 1: only if we talked. He said I was hurting myself

551
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: just to prove a point, and that's why he walked away.

552
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: He said I was romanticizing hard work and that I

553
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,679
Speaker 1: had a problem. I kept trying to tell him I

554
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:32,240
Speaker 1: was just trying to stick to my plan, but he

555
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: said I should just do the bare minimum to get

556
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: things ready for the painters. He told me I should

557
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 1: not care if a couple of my things got damage,

558
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: and I was putting things over him. Nothing really came

559
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 1: out of the talking, but he did help move the

560
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: last couple of things We finished at like seven am,

561
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 1: and I was completely exhausted. I just crashed. The painters

562
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: came at nine, and although I had asked him to

563
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:56,240
Speaker 1: be with me overseeing the process, he just stayed in bed.

564
00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: I am disappointed and heartbroken. Something switched in me and

565
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 1: I can no longer believe in him or see a

566
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 1: future with him. He's got a history of laziness and

567
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 1: not keeping his word, but I thought he had gotten better.

568
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 1: He always said that if something was really important to me,

569
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 1: he would come through, but he didn't, no matter how

570
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: much I asked him to. Now he's saying it's my

571
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: fault for not talking, but it just feels controlling and absurd.

572
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 1: Why couldn't we talk while working? Why couldn't he bring

573
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 1: it up early and not at midnight the last day?

574
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:29,080
Speaker 2: Why couldn't he just help me join his video game team?

575
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: And it's like, hey, team, we really need to clean

576
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 1: the house today.

577
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:40,560
Speaker 2: Honey, honey, there's they're going down We need to help,

578
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 2: you know, Oh no, they're in the kitchen. Kitchen needs help,

579
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 2: kitchen needs to port.

580
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 1: You know. You can get like the like the extra

581
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 1: points if you do certain like tasks. Yeah, yeah, it's like, ah,

582
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: I see in the corner. You gotta you gotta clean

583
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 1: the house. I don't know how to go from here,

584
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: and he won't even listen to me when I try

585
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: to tell him how I feel. It feels impossible to

586
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: talk to him. The next day, I trying to explain

587
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: why I think this is a major issue for me

588
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 1: because I feel like I cannot rely on him. Even

589
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 1: after I outlined my plan for days and kept asking

590
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 1: if he was okay with it, he kept saying, well,

591
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: you were just telling me what a dude? Do you

592
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 1: want a slave? I tried to explain it's about the

593
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 1: timing and lack of consideration, but he kept repeating the

594
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: same question until I was exhausted and said, okay, if

595
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,679
Speaker 1: that's how you want to see it, I want a

596
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: slave and maybe that means we're not compatible. And he

597
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 1: hit me with, so you think the slaves should never

598
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:34,439
Speaker 1: have been freed?

599
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm.

600
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: A person of color and he's white.

601
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

602
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: Yeah bye wowing that car. That's crazy that he's like, wow, wow, wow,

603
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:49,480
Speaker 1: you think people should still be slaves?

604
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 2: Babe. I think I'm gonna have to break up because

605
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 2: that's crazy.

606
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,399
Speaker 1: That's racist to be babe. Wow, Like, what am I

607
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 1: even supposed to say? He will not accept that I

608
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: feel a certain way. And when I tried to talk

609
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,719
Speaker 1: on histag because he won't try to do it online,

610
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: he just takes it completely out of context. It's exhausting

611
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,359
Speaker 1: and all I want to do is avoid it. I'm

612
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: so angry at him and myself forever having trusted him,

613
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 1: and now I feel trapped. I love this house, but

614
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: I cannot buy him out. And I told him I

615
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,440
Speaker 1: didn't want to sleep in the same room with him

616
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: and we should just try to separate our spaces in

617
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,000
Speaker 1: the house. He just kind of laughed and said I

618
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 1: was being irrational. He told me that couple should always

619
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,119
Speaker 1: try to talk and that he's willing to give me

620
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,479
Speaker 1: another chance, so I should too. I don't know how

621
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 1: to handle it.

622
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 2: Any advice, please, Holy crap, this is a lot. You

623
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 2: are dealing with a teenager. Oh yeah, this is a business.

624
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: Not worth it.

625
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 2: It's not worth it. Again. I need the context if

626
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 2: you because again he's lied in the past, or he's

627
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 2: been lazy in the past. You get it, but I

628
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 2: need to know the context if this is your first

629
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,880
Speaker 2: time actually living with this guy. Yeah, because it is

630
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,200
Speaker 2: surely shows his Holy cow.

631
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 1: I don't think this right thing can last.

632
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 2: I think I think it's you gotta get out, Get

633
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 2: out now, before you waste any more time, effort, stress energy.

634
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 1: Trying to convince him to help you when he should

635
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: just like help you.

636
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 2: You're not his mother. The fact that you're like, oh,

637
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 2: I took away the router, and that gave him urgency, yeah,

638
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 2: to look for the router. He's insane.

639
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 1: Note one, we're not in America. The house is fully paid.

640
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: Note two, due to other circumstances. The floor was completely

641
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: filled with things and inaccessible, so we did have to

642
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: move the things to make hallways. No. Three, I don't

643
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 1: think it was relevant, but the reason there's so much

644
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 1: stuff to be moved is because of my late father's

645
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: life belongings, which were left on the bottom floor. It's

646
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 1: a once in a lifetime kind of situation, and that's

647
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: partially why I've been so stressed. Common one says, I

648
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: don't know how this never came up before you bought

649
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 1: the house, but you may as well put it back

650
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: on the market right now. This guy is gonna do

651
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 1: this every time you need him, every time you have

652
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: a hard deadline. He's going to delay and procrastinate so

653
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 1: you miss it. Every time you say something is important

654
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 1: to you, he's going to f it up by telling

655
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 1: you to relax or give him space, or stop pressuring

656
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: you or talk it out. OHP says there was always

657
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,600
Speaker 1: a reason why we had misunderstandings or didn't get in

658
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: the same page, and he's very good at saying optimistic

659
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 1: things and that we could get through with it. As

660
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,960
Speaker 1: lungs be stuck together. I lost sight of things and

661
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: became foolish. This time. I try to do everything we

662
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: agreed on, and I guess I can't keep lying to

663
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: myself again. Common two says Jesus the drama some people

664
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: involve themselves in. Since you have the house, the responsible

665
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: thing would be to speak with a lawyer. You have

666
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: three options. Sell it and split the equity if there

667
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: is any one of you, move out and have a

668
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: written contract about set equity moving forward and how that

669
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: affects paying the mortgage payment upgrades. Third is you buy

670
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,440
Speaker 1: them out and refinance the home in your name. That's

671
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 1: why it's important to choose good partners, because I can

672
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,760
Speaker 1: promise you that this isn't the first time he's been

673
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 1: a lazy guy and you've done everything in the relationship.

674
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 1: Common three says, are both of your names on the

675
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 1: loan for the house. How much did you put down

676
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 1: for your portion of closing the house? Find a lawyer

677
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:01,120
Speaker 1: to see what you're tring voices are Does he have

678
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 1: any money to buy you out? Also, plan on what

679
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 1: your conversation is going to look like. Write it down.

680
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: Stick to facts. I asked if you could do it,

681
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: you said yes. I asked you multiple times. You gave

682
00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: me excuses as to when you would do it, but

683
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 1: still said that you would do it. Let him know

684
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: that this experience changed how you see him. The delay tactics,

685
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: the emotional manipulation, the gaslighting, and dishonesty. If something is

686
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: really important to you, I'll come through. All that can't

687
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: be said unheard before you have the talk. Make sure

688
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: to have an exit plan and stick to it. Oh

689
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:34,960
Speaker 1: P says to clarify, We're not in America and the

690
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 1: house is fully paid. He has a personal loan that

691
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: he's still paying, but it is not tied to the

692
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: ownership of the house. He does not have money to

693
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: buy me out, and I currently don't because I'm in

694
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: the middle of a legal process where some money of

695
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,520
Speaker 1: mine was withheld. It might not get resolved in the

696
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: next couple of years, but after that maybe I could.

697
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. But yeah,

698
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: I think you guys have a talk and maybe this

699
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: is a shared asset or for now. Yeah, and you

700
00:31:58,640 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: rent it out or something.

701
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 2: Which is really crappy, especially since you're putting so much

702
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 2: time and effort into it and you're looking so forward

703
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 2: to just having your own home with a really good

704
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 2: partner to bat eat on a really good partner.

705
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: Didn't get that.

706
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, I think that's one of those things. Again,

707
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 2: it's one of those major like events when you have

708
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 2: a relationship. And again it's not for like everyone. Maybe

709
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 2: other people have done it. I moved in with my

710
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:24,560
Speaker 2: partner like immediately and it was great. Yes, congratulation. Could

711
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 2: not turn out. It couldn't.

712
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: It can do it with Anyone's always a risk.

713
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 2: It's a very huge risk. Yeah. Again, it's just hard

714
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 2: that because it shows people's true colors. So and it

715
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 2: shows his true colors and that sucks. But best of luck, op, Yeah,

716
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,680
Speaker 2: this guy's suck, agreed, teenage boy.

717
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 1: That is the end of that story.

718
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here.

719
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

720
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors. My

721
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: sister in law tried to hijack my wedding after I

722
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: refuse to make her a Bridesmaid's your wedding now, Hi, all,

723
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 1: wedding planning has been exhausting for me twenty four female,

724
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 1: and I'm close to giving up and eloping. I just

725
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 1: can't handle all the pressure. My fiance and I have

726
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: been together for two and a half years. By the way,

727
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 1: this comes from oracle E FX, and if you want

728
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: to smit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay,

729
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 1: storytime severed it. I'm Sophia and I'm Riley, and we're

730
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: here to give good advice. Goofy, but we don't have

731
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So

732
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: let us know what you would do in the comments.

733
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 1: My issues with my future sister in law twenty six

734
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: female started just after my fiance and I got engaged

735
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 1: last year. Future mother in law has remarried earlier the

736
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 1: same year, and I also think she never expected her

737
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:34,560
Speaker 1: little brother to get married before her. He freaked out

738
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 1: and pressured her boyfriend to propose, but he wouldn't and

739
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: they split for a while before eventually getting back together.

740
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: For that period, we were not allowed to mention our

741
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: engagement in front of her or she would be very

742
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: rude and passive aggressive. There was also the issue of

743
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: the ring. My fiance's family has two heirloom rings, one

744
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 1: for my fiance and one for future sister in law.

745
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: When my fiance asked his grandparents about it, they could

746
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 1: not remember which one future sister in law had chosen

747
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: and called her about it. She couldn't pick which one

748
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,560
Speaker 1: she wanted, so now both rings were off the table

749
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 1: until she decides which one she wants. My fiance said

750
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,919
Speaker 1: screw that and bought me a different ring, which I love.

751
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,840
Speaker 1: But the whole situation was hurtful. Now my fiance and

752
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: I want a very small ceremony and a large reception afterward.

753
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 1: We also want a small wedding party. I decided I

754
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 1: only wanted two bridesmaids, my sister and my best friend.

755
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 1: My fiance will have two groomsmen, his best friend and

756
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 1: my brother. Future sister in law is of course invited

757
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 1: to the ceremony, but she completely lost it when she

758
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 1: realized she wouldn't be a bridesmaid. She called my fiance

759
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 1: screaming once, then went into denial and kept texting me

760
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,399
Speaker 1: about my bridesmaid duties. My fiance called to tell her

761
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 1: to leave me alone, and she screamed and hung up. Now,

762
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,919
Speaker 1: apparently she's been ranting at my future mother in law,

763
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 1: who is in turn trying to talk my fiance into it.

764
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: My compromise was that she'd be on my fiance side,

765
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 1: but I was told by future mother in law and

766
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 1: future sister in law that that was unacceptable all because

767
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,480
Speaker 1: it would make the sides uneven and it was untraditional

768
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 1: for a woman to be on the groom's side. My

769
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,320
Speaker 1: fiance got pissed and said that was fine, he didn't

770
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 1: want her on his side either, and that she wouldn't

771
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: be in the wedding party at all. That cued another

772
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: freak out. I don't want to give in because I

773
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 1: know she'll make a day about my fiance and me

774
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: all about her. She always does, But I'm tired of

775
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,759
Speaker 1: the wheedling calls from my future mother in law to

776
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: invite her back in. There was already drama with my

777
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 1: family since the guest list on my side is very

778
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: small because we are having a pagan ceremony and I

779
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 1: know my family would disapprove. Doesn't what we want matter.

780
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 1: I don't know how to handle all this thinking of

781
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 1: my wedding makes me feel nauseous now. And edit, my

782
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 1: fiance is four siblings. They are all invited to the

783
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 1: ceremony and relevant comments, Intrepid Girl Reader, your biggest mistake

784
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 1: was offering to let her stand on your fiance's side,

785
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: because now it's a question of letting her back in

786
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: when she was never really in the wedding party to

787
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: begin with. I don't want to give in because I

788
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 1: know she'll make a day about my fiance and I

789
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 1: all about her. She always does, but I'm tired of

790
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 1: the wheedling calls from future mother in law to invite

791
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 1: her back in. I was ope it sounds to me

792
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,800
Speaker 1: like letting your future sister in law in your wedding

793
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 1: party won't actually relieve any of your stress, but will

794
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 1: instead just invite more this commentor did some basic reading

795
00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:26,320
Speaker 1: of the story. I was gonna say, Intrepid Girl Reader,

796
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: to be sure, Yeah, she's really good as she's like,

797
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,000
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm way off base here. Once

798
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 1: you cave and let her in the wedding party, your

799
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,359
Speaker 1: future sister in law and future mother in law will

800
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: simply move on to something else and start wearing it

801
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 1: down until they get their way again. It sounds like

802
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 1: your fiance is on your side, which is great to

803
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,800
Speaker 1: stay firm and say the wedding party is already decided

804
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 1: and you no longer want to discuss it and the

805
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: conversation whenever they try to bring it up, and don't

806
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: spend your wedding catering to a brat. Oh p he says, Ah, yeah,

807
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 1: I agree. We were told it was unfair for me

808
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 1: to have two siblings in the wedding party and my

809
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 1: fiance to have none. I can kind of understand that,

810
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,880
Speaker 1: but at the same time, my fiance chose my brother

811
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 1: not me, and Intrepid Girl reader back at it again,

812
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 1: says if your fiance felt it was unfair that his

813
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 1: sibling wasn't included, that would be one thing. It's not

814
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: unfair to anybody else, because nobody is entitled to a

815
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: spot in your wedding party. If I were you, I'd

816
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,720
Speaker 1: have my fiance have one final conversation with his sister

817
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: to tell her that the only two bridesmaids will be

818
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 1: your sister and your best friend. After that, refuse to

819
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 1: engage at all. Lynn's three sixty says, great advice. There

820
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 1: are only three parties that get a say in your wedding, You,

821
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,399
Speaker 1: your fiance, and whoever is helping finance the event, and

822
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 1: that last group needs very clear cut boundaries right from

823
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 1: the start so everyone knows where they stand. Not sure

824
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 1: if that's applicable here. Beyond that, you tell everyone else

825
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 1: to shut the f up and enjoy their cake or

826
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: pie or fruit lasagna you chose instead, that's your choice

827
00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,000
Speaker 1: to make for your wedding. Opie says, this is another issue.

828
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 1: We're having our reception at future mother in law's house.

829
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,919
Speaker 1: We are paying the majority of the costs for food

830
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 1: and booze, but it is her house. I think she

831
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,800
Speaker 1: thinks she has some sort of control of the wedding

832
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,879
Speaker 1: party because of this, but I would think she would

833
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 1: she should only have input on the reception, not ceremony itself.

834
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: Flux Men two too too, says My suspicion is that

835
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 1: if she doesn't get to be a bridesmaid, or even

836
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 1: if she does, she might try to steal the day

837
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,479
Speaker 1: by pressuring her boyfriend into another proposal on the day

838
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 1: of your wedding. I honestly don't even think he'd do

839
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: that well because because she already tried to get and

840
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: they broke a boost and they broke up her, he's

841
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 1: not proposing of the wedding. No, you may want to

842
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: head that off by having a chat with set boyfriend.

843
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 1: Op says. My fiance is four siblings and none are

844
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,919
Speaker 1: in the wedding party, all invited to the ceremony. She's

845
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,000
Speaker 1: the only one upset like this, And there is an

846
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:49,439
Speaker 1: update six months later.

847
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 4: I do have to say I don't agree with the

848
00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 4: talking to the sister's boyfriend. Yeah, like like I I

849
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 4: think we need to exactly and that he's gonna do it,

850
00:38:56,880 --> 00:39:00,160
Speaker 4: and and so much with like the these communication to

851
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 4: drama moments. I sometimes feel like the more people you

852
00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 4: try to like you're like, oh, the boyfriend to see

853
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,839
Speaker 4: if he's gonna like propo. No, just say you're not

854
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 4: gonna do it. Yeah, don't worry, don't worry about whatever

855
00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 4: Trevor has going on.

856
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 1: Six months later, Hello again, it's been hectic and I

857
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: finally got the time to update. The wedding was not

858
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: drama free, but it was drama reduced at least. First,

859
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 1: I showed my fiance now husband who the post after

860
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 1: I finished reading all the comments. He felt awful because

861
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: he didn't realize how much his sister's behavior was hurting me.

862
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,280
Speaker 1: We scheduled a lunch in a public place with sister

863
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: in law and mother in law. I's been laid down

864
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:44,479
Speaker 1: the law and it was awesome nice. He basically told

865
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 1: her that she would not be in the wedding party

866
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,239
Speaker 1: noise and that she had no one to blame but

867
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: herself and her own actions. He raked her over the

868
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,320
Speaker 1: calls a bit. I can't believe my own family would

869
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: make what is supposed to be the happiest time in

870
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: my life frustrating and difficult. Well, I Satin smug city

871
00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 1: population one. I then offered the truth that we had

872
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 1: agreed upon prior, which was actually a suggestion from my

873
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 1: last post. I asked her to be an usher and

874
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 1: let her know it was important because we're having a

875
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 1: pagan ceremony and people might be confused on the stand

876
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:19,760
Speaker 1: in the circle.

877
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 4: People just don't get it these days. People might be

878
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 4: really confused standing in a circle and you're the and

879
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 4: we know.

880
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: You know, oh you love a circle, you know how

881
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 1: Oh good circle.

882
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,320
Speaker 4: I'm actually I know we're joshing about it.

883
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 1: But standing a circle pretty hard. Not what I was

884
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 1: gonna say. It's actually incredibly easy for me.

885
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 4: I'm so good if the sister is a little bit

886
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 4: of like there's this control factor to it. I do

887
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 4: generally think this is a good job for her, Like

888
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 4: we tell people where to go exactly, you know, like

889
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 4: like she gets to feel a little bit powerful.

890
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: So whatever makes her feel important and keeps her out

891
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,920
Speaker 1: of my hair. She's been crying for a lot of

892
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,240
Speaker 1: this dog but stop to ask if she could still

893
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 1: wear a bridesmaid dress. I told her absolutely not. She

894
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 1: then asked if she could at least get ready with

895
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 1: me and the bridal party. That was another note. She

896
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 1: started crying more, but mother in law clearly understood that

897
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 1: this was an olive branch and told her she would

898
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 1: be crazy not to accept. She finally did, but grudgingly.

899
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 1: Then she went home and posted all sorts of congratulatory

900
00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 1: things on her Facebook. My eyes about rolled out of

901
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: their sockets. Fast forward to the wedding. The ceremony was

902
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: beautiful and went off without a hitch. I had assigned

903
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 1: a friend to keep an eye on sister a mom,

904
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 1: but she was on her best behavior during the ceremony.

905
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: It was really lovely and I was just so happy.

906
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: It still makes me happy to think about. And then

907
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:47,399
Speaker 1: the reception. The first hour and a half are going great.

908
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 1: Everyone's getting suitably boozy and dancing and having a great time.

909
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: At one point there was a quiet lull between songs

910
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: and I hear a harpy screech. Godd has helped me,

911
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 1: just in case you forgot okay. Husband started to go

912
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 1: wrangle her, but his stepfather steps in and says he'll

913
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,439
Speaker 1: handle it. He's such a great person. This next part

914
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 1: I know only secondhand through the posse that went to

915
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 1: deal with her. I just kept dancing it up and

916
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,279
Speaker 1: pretended I didn't hear it. It turns out that sister

917
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,880
Speaker 1: in law is fighting with her boyfriend again. Apparently they

918
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 1: had planned that he would propose to her at our

919
00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 1: wedding reception. If you read my last post, you might

920
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 1: remember there was drama regarding two heirloom rings in my

921
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 1: husband's family. The plan was that her boyfriend would propose

922
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:34,439
Speaker 1: with both rings. Sister in law would pick one and

923
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 1: then she would graciously gift me the other as a

924
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 1: wedding present. They got into a fight about who knows what,

925
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 1: and he decided he wasn't gonna propose. Really, she gave

926
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,239
Speaker 1: me an amazing wedding gift an excuse to have them

927
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:49,360
Speaker 1: both bounced from the reception. Stepfather called a cab and

928
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: had them sent home. The reception went on Harpi free

929
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,040
Speaker 1: and was a blast. We've had pretty minimal contact with

930
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 1: her after that. To her credit, she did apologize eventually,

931
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 1: but also went on about how hurt she was to

932
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 1: be removed from the reception. I let her husband deal

933
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,880
Speaker 1: with that one. We live in a different city, so

934
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 1: the most I see of her is Facebook posts and

935
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,439
Speaker 1: that's plenty for me. Now all it is are coming

936
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 1: up so that will be in contact again. But I'm

937
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 1: not worried about how to deal with her. And Ralvin

938
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,759
Speaker 1: Common says, great expectations. What the fing f she was

939
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 1: gonna have her boyfriend proposed to her at your wedding

940
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 1: reception and then give you the other ring? Well, ladyde,

941
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 1: congratulations on your wedding. I wish you a long and

942
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: healthful marriage. I hope your interactions with her is settle

943
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: over time, Opie says. She apparently thought it was a

944
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,560
Speaker 1: way to bring our families closer bugs doing things in

945
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: the sense that both families would have the Remember the

946
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 1: time sister in law and her boyfriend did something so

947
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 1: tacky and attention grabbing at someone's wedding story in common?

948
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 1: Maybe sad Crocodile says.

949
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 3: Gobsmack, Absolutely, gobsmack, I honestly don't have the words to

950
00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:58,160
Speaker 3: describe how disgusted I am with your sister in law's historyonic,

951
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 3: self centered behavior. On the bright side, though, it sounds

952
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 3: like you and your now husband, congratulations, make a good

953
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 3: team and know how to deal with this entitled brat

954
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 3: in the future.

955
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,600
Speaker 1: The in law sound like they'll be pretty tired of

956
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: her craft soon too. Enjoy your newly wedded life and edit.

957
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: Oh just curious. Did sister and law's boyfriend end up

958
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,719
Speaker 1: staying with her after that ridiculous proposal? Garbage? Oh p

959
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 1: says they're very on and off again, not sure if

960
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,319
Speaker 1: they're still together deleted. Did you know he was going

961
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 1: to propose and were you going to be cool with it?

962
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: Congrats on your wedding, of course. Oh no, course she

963
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 1: didn't of course not. No no no, OHP says we

964
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,359
Speaker 1: did not know and we would not have been okay

965
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 1: with it if we had. And that's the end of

966
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:43,959
Speaker 1: that story. Folks. Ah man, oh man. If I were.

967
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,000
Speaker 4: A commentary, I'd be like, oh, hey, congrats, glad it

968
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:47,440
Speaker 4: worked out.

969
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: She's got a curiosity. How'd the circle look? Yeah? Did

970
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 1: we get this yet? Did she manage the ushering? Well,

971
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 1: that's what I want to know.

972
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 4: My husband's grandparents sued us over a house.

973
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,760
Speaker 1: They squatted it. That just well makes sense.

974
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 4: My husband thirty one male John and I twenty eight female,

975
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 4: don't live in his home state where most of his

976
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 4: family lives. Three years ago, his mother, Debbie fifty six female,

977
00:45:11,640 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 4: unexpectedly passed away. It was a devastating loss, to say

978
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 4: the least. My husband was very close with his mother.

979
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 4: His father was completely out of the picture, so she

980
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 4: raised him as a single mother and worked two to

981
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 4: three jobs to keep a roof over their head.

982
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 1: And Bill's fou eight.

983
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,879
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Desperate Plum five seven

984
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 4: seven two and if you want to submit your own stories,

985
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:35,360
Speaker 4: go to the rslash Okay Storytimes subreddit. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia,

986
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,960
Speaker 4: and we're here to give good advice in a goofy manner,

987
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 4: but we don't have all the answers.

988
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 1: We only know what we would do, so get in

989
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 1: those comments.

990
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:47,400
Speaker 4: His half brother, Jake thirty seven male, wasn't as close

991
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 4: to their mother, and from what I understand, lived with

992
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,600
Speaker 4: his bio dad and stepmom for most of his upbringing.

993
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:54,919
Speaker 4: He and his wife live about two hours down state

994
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 4: from Debbie and didn't visit often when she was alive.

995
00:45:57,800 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 4: When we flew out for the funeral, we stayed with

996
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 4: John's grandparents, Ron and Linda. Ron is not John's grandfather.

997
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,280
Speaker 4: He married Linda when Debbie and her siblings were teenagers.

998
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,480
Speaker 4: As long as I've known John, Ron has made it

999
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 4: very clear, without outright saying it, that he holds his

1000
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 4: children and grandchildren in high regard than Linda's children and grandchildren.

1001
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 1: He did not have a.

1002
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 4: Kind word to say about Debbie after she passed. He

1003
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,439
Speaker 4: seemed indifferent at best and irritated to have to deal

1004
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 4: with her estate. He made several insensitive comments regarding the

1005
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 4: mess she'd left them with. During the week that they

1006
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:31,400
Speaker 4: were there, Ron took over planning everything, and Linda's seemingly

1007
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,920
Speaker 4: took the back seat. Ron did not ask John or

1008
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:37,759
Speaker 4: Jake about funeral preparations or burial information. He would just

1009
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 4: tell us what was happening. Her funeral is Thursday. She's

1010
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:41,960
Speaker 4: getting buried in a plot next to ours. This is

1011
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:43,799
Speaker 4: the casket, and these are the flower At the time,

1012
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:45,759
Speaker 4: it was a relief to my husband because of how

1013
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,240
Speaker 4: overcome with grief he was. It was a nice funeral,

1014
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,399
Speaker 4: and what was truly heartwarming was the number of people

1015
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 4: who showed up for she had so many people who

1016
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 4: loved her, so many lives she touched. After the funeral,

1017
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 4: we went to Debbie's house to try and find any

1018
00:46:57,760 --> 00:47:01,160
Speaker 4: important documents. There was confusion about the deed and who

1019
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 4: was on it, if there were taxes ode or who

1020
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 4: would pay. Ron implied that he was on the title

1021
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 4: or deed. It was and still is unclear to us

1022
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 4: if Ron and Linda were co signers for the house

1023
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 4: or on the deed, or what their role.

1024
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: Was with the house.

1025
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 4: We were ultimately unable to find any important documentation regarding

1026
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 4: the estate at Debbie's house. We did discover that Debbie

1027
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 4: had a roommate, a woman she met through work who

1028
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 4: was having a rough time and needed somewhere to go.

1029
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,800
Speaker 4: Debbie was a kind Christian woman who'd really do anything

1030
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 4: for anyone, so it's no surprise she offered her a room.

1031
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 4: We flew home and didn't know what was to come

1032
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:34,879
Speaker 4: of the estate because we live so far away. John

1033
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 4: and Jake came to an agreement that John would sign

1034
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:40,719
Speaker 4: whatever rights he had to the estate over to Jake.

1035
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 4: Jake had his lawyer mail all the paperwork, and it

1036
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 4: seemed squared away. Jake promised John he wouldn't screw him

1037
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,800
Speaker 4: out of anything. Over the next year and a half,

1038
00:47:49,320 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 4: Jake would occasionally give John updates about the house going

1039
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 4: through the probate process and how they weren't sure what

1040
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 4: they were going to do with the roommate or if

1041
00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:59,359
Speaker 4: they'd have to file to a victor. Neither Jake nor

1042
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 4: John could have for to keep the house even with

1043
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:04,400
Speaker 4: renting it out. The house was and still is in

1044
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,360
Speaker 4: really bad condition. We both have young families and just

1045
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,280
Speaker 4: aren't in a position to fix it up to code.

1046
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 4: The plan was once the property was in Jake's name,

1047
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,759
Speaker 4: he would sell it and split the money with John.

1048
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:16,879
Speaker 4: John's childhood friend passed away during this time, so John

1049
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 4: flew home for the funeral. When he visited his grandma

1050
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:21,880
Speaker 4: Linda and Ron, Ron made a comment that he was

1051
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 4: expecting to be paid back twelve thousand dollars for the

1052
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 4: funeral arrangements for Debbie once the house sold. He then

1053
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 4: asked John if he liked his mother's headstone, because he

1054
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 4: would also have to pay back the eight hundred that

1055
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 4: it cost. I hate that setup. I hate that delivery. No,

1056
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 4: like money, stuff is always weird. I hate the idea

1057
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,760
Speaker 4: of this person being like, do you like your mother's headstone? Yeah,

1058
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,479
Speaker 4: because you're going to pay for it, Like, just ask,

1059
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:47,359
Speaker 4: just ask for the money.

1060
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: Just talk it out. Yeah, you doing you know? I

1061
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 1: don't know. I feel like there's I have like older grandparents,

1062
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 1: you know, woo, They're like things are being made, just

1063
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: the plans are being made and stuff, and it's just

1064
00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:58,280
Speaker 1: so complicated.

1065
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 4: John was taken aback because had we known we'd be

1066
00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:04,440
Speaker 4: responsible for the costs, we would have started a GoFundMe.

1067
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 4: We would have taken over the planning. We barely have

1068
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 4: the financial means to keep ourselves afloat. John didn't respond

1069
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,840
Speaker 4: and didn't see Ron again during his stay. Jumped to

1070
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 4: a little more than a year ago, Ron was at

1071
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 4: home and plugged in some faulty appliance which ended up

1072
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 4: catching fire and burning their home down. Thankfully, both Ron

1073
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 4: and Linda were unharmed, but they lost a lot in

1074
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,439
Speaker 4: the fire. Ron and Linda immediately moved into Debbie's house

1075
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 4: with the roommate who was still living there. They didn't

1076
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 4: speak with Jake prior to moving in. They didn't ask

1077
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,279
Speaker 4: to move in, they just did. Jake would give John

1078
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 4: updates and said that Ron treated him how he always had,

1079
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 4: belittling him and being disrespectful. Jake wasn't willing to put

1080
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:40,600
Speaker 4: up with it anymore. Eight months later, when Jake finally

1081
00:49:40,640 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 4: gained rights to the estate or it had gone through probate.

1082
00:49:43,640 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 4: Not sure if the correct terminology, Ron asked Jake if

1083
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:49,839
Speaker 4: he and Grandma could continue to rent the house for

1084
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:52,440
Speaker 4: six hundred dollars a month while they waited for their

1085
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 4: own house to be rebuilt. Ron and Linda's house was

1086
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 4: being rebuilt by Ron's brother, who was a contractor and

1087
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 4: jack of all trades kind of Manake making longer than expected.

1088
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 4: The walls and roof were up, windows and doors were on,

1089
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 4: but it wasn't finished. The six hundred dollars wasn't enough

1090
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 4: to cover the monthly expenses of Debuty's property, and the

1091
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 4: house was not in livable condition. There was mold on

1092
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 4: the ceilings and walls. It needed a new roof, new appliances,

1093
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 4: and new windows. Jake ended up taking Ron and Linda

1094
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 4: and the roommate to court to have them evicted so

1095
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:23,000
Speaker 4: he could get the property ready to sell. John was

1096
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:25,840
Speaker 4: made aware of the eviction when Ron messaged him asking

1097
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 4: if he was going to show up.

1098
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:27,960
Speaker 1: To court two.

1099
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:30,960
Speaker 4: John responded that he didn't even know about court since

1100
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,319
Speaker 4: we lived a thousand miles away, and seized the opportunity

1101
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,640
Speaker 4: to tell Ron just how he felt about it. He

1102
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 4: was like, I don't know anything about court and the

1103
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:44,280
Speaker 4: only thing the only court I know is the basketball court.

1104
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 4: Get ready court, Yeah, let's settle this on the tennis court.

1105
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 4: John really aired his aggrievances with Ron, and Ron was

1106
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 4: unsurprisingly defensive and dismissive of everything John said. Linda's sister

1107
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 4: called John and asked why he and Jake were doing this.

1108
00:50:59,320 --> 00:51:03,319
Speaker 4: Ron's son, Mason, fifty's male started a group chat with John, Jake,

1109
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 4: and Debbie's siblings to voice his opinion on how terrible

1110
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,960
Speaker 4: they were for doing this to their grandparents. John's uncle,

1111
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 4: Debbie's brother, Rick, chimed in too about how the boys

1112
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 4: should be ashamed.

1113
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,960
Speaker 1: And Jake especially. He said Debbie would.

1114
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 4: Be rolling in her grave from her own boys doing

1115
00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,640
Speaker 4: this to her mother. Those messages really toward John up.

1116
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 4: He loved his mother and loves his grandmother, but he

1117
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 4: also supports Jake because neither of us are in the

1118
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,839
Speaker 4: position to keep the house. The court date came and went.

1119
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,279
Speaker 4: Ron and Linda were given a sixty day notice and

1120
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 4: that was that. We flew out to visit Linda last

1121
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 4: month to clear up some of this turmoil and have

1122
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 4: our one year old son meet outside of the family.

1123
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 4: Because Linda doesn't really use a phone often, she and

1124
00:51:40,600 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 4: John Rareley communicate. When we showed up, Ron completely ignored us,

1125
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 4: didn't say a single word, and stayed in the back

1126
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:48,759
Speaker 4: bedroom for the duration of our visit. It was a

1127
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 4: wonderful visit outside of that watching our son meet his

1128
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,360
Speaker 4: great grandma. John and Linda spoke briefly about what was

1129
00:51:54,400 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 4: going on. John told her how he didn't want to

1130
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 4: punt her out, that he wasn't doing this to her

1131
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 4: and Jake didn't consul in prior.

1132
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:01,880
Speaker 1: To going through with the eviction.

1133
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,839
Speaker 4: There were a lot of tears, but I could tell

1134
00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 4: they both felt better after seeing each other. It's unclear

1135
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 4: how in the loop Linda actually is if Ron is

1136
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 4: just controlling everything and limiting her information, but she did

1137
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,719
Speaker 4: make remarks about how the boys would have lost the

1138
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 4: house had Ron not paid for it, and that they

1139
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:19,759
Speaker 4: should just be grateful for that. We saw her a

1140
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 4: few times after that, but didn't discuss the house. We

1141
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:24,839
Speaker 4: flew home and felt like a little weight was.

1142
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 1: Lifted from our shoulders.

1143
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,280
Speaker 4: Mason messaged the group chat again that he was prepping

1144
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,399
Speaker 4: his trailer for Ron and Linda to live in over

1145
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,600
Speaker 4: the next few weeks while their house got finished, and

1146
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:35,759
Speaker 4: that he couldn't believe this was happening.

1147
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 1: In our family. John and Jake didn't respond.

1148
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 4: Today, Jake's lawyer's office reached out to him because Ron

1149
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:45,280
Speaker 4: and Linda are suing Jake over the funeral expenses and more,

1150
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 4: claiming they were asked to pay for it. They are

1151
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:50,200
Speaker 4: also claiming they were co signers on the mortgage and

1152
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 4: paid for the house after Debbie passed away, preventing the

1153
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,880
Speaker 4: boys from losing the house. They are suing for roughly

1154
00:52:55,960 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 4: forty five thousand dollars.

1155
00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:01,760
Speaker 1: Dang, I feel like if they were asked to pay

1156
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,600
Speaker 1: for it and they were planning on suing, they could

1157
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,239
Speaker 1: have just not paid for it, you know, well, and they.

1158
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:10,319
Speaker 4: Also they weren't ask exactly pay for it. That's I mean,

1159
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 4: that's like again the kind of tough thing. And if

1160
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 4: we're here to give genuine advice, goofy, like just you

1161
00:53:16,600 --> 00:53:19,480
Speaker 4: have to be so tight on the communication about this stuff,

1162
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:21,840
Speaker 4: like and it sucks because you're right, there's grief.

1163
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 1: The last thing you want to be thinking about is logistics.

1164
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 4: But like, you know, for whoever, for Opie, for anybody

1165
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,440
Speaker 4: who has to go through something like this, like God,

1166
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:32,319
Speaker 4: you just have to get everything water tight.

1167
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:34,879
Speaker 1: I just feel like their their argument of like we

1168
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:37,319
Speaker 1: were asked to pay forty thousand dollars and now we're

1169
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: gonna sue you because we paid that for Like did

1170
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:44,040
Speaker 1: you even pay forty thousand dollars? I don't know.

1171
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,840
Speaker 4: I do have some updates, you have any thoughts or

1172
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,120
Speaker 4: we just going straight into this roll straight in.

1173
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 1: John was to straw overhearing.

1174
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:52,320
Speaker 4: This, It's so clear that this is not what deVie

1175
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 4: would have wanted. All of this turmoil in the family.

1176
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 4: Passing really does bring out the worst in people. John

1177
00:53:57,239 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 4: called his grandma and tried to explain that by suing Jake,

1178
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,840
Speaker 4: they're taking away money from their young family and ours,

1179
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:04,839
Speaker 4: who have it one hundred times harder in this world

1180
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:05,479
Speaker 4: than they did.

1181
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,279
Speaker 1: Ron and Linda are far from poor.

1182
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 4: They got a lot of money from the insurance claim

1183
00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 4: on their house, not to mention social Security and state

1184
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:15,360
Speaker 4: retirement pensions. Most of the family thinks that we are

1185
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:17,480
Speaker 4: the a holes. It's not like Ron and Linda don't

1186
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:20,720
Speaker 4: have other people they could stay with. Either John's uncle, Junior,

1187
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,239
Speaker 4: Linda's son lives one mile down the road from them.

1188
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:26,359
Speaker 4: Linda's sister has an airbnb three hours out of down

1189
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 4: she could put them up in. Ron has three sons,

1190
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 4: including Mason, who are in the area.

1191
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 1: Are we the a holes?

1192
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 4: No, because I thought about that when Mason was like, well, like,

1193
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:37,800
Speaker 4: now I have to prep to get the trailer ready

1194
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,399
Speaker 4: for mom and dad. Why don't we use that they're

1195
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 4: living in the mold house.

1196
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, Why why wasn't that option number one?

1197
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:48,160
Speaker 4: Or the airbnb or the airbnb that you guys have, Sorry, guy,

1198
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 4: anywhere we've got a bachelorette Barty goumen in.

1199
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 1: I just can't rent down.

1200
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:53,879
Speaker 4: I can't let you stay in the airbnb right now.

1201
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,520
Speaker 1: That's kind of my man key. Yeah, And that's the

1202
00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:00,839
Speaker 1: end of that story. Folks. It's Sam. We're gonna get

1203
00:55:00,840 --> 00:55:02,760
Speaker 1: back to these stories. But here's three bits of ads

1204
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 1: from our sponsors that keep the show alive. My brother's

1205
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:09,759
Speaker 1: fiance hijacked his phone and turned him against our family. No,

1206
00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:13,160
Speaker 1: he's turning us against us. And this comes directly from

1207
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 1: the r slash Okay storytime subred it. I thirty female,

1208
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,760
Speaker 1: have a younger brother, Ryan twenty one male. He started

1209
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,880
Speaker 1: dating Cammy twenty female in late twenty twenty four and

1210
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 1: brought her to our family Christmas after a few weeks

1211
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:27,560
Speaker 1: of dating. She was distant, barely said a word, clung

1212
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: to Ryan the whole time, and didn't introduce herself to anyone.

1213
00:55:31,239 --> 00:55:33,759
Speaker 1: It was awkward, but we gave a grace figured she

1214
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,400
Speaker 1: was shy. By the way. This comes from Virtual Avocado

1215
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:38,160
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1216
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,280
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1217
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 1: sebred it. I'm Sophia and I'm Angie and We're here

1218
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:44,799
Speaker 1: to give good advice goofully, but we don't have all

1219
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 1: the answers. We only know what we'd do, So let

1220
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:48,680
Speaker 1: us know what you would do in the comments. A

1221
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 1: month later, Ryan asked if Cammy could come to my wedding.

1222
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 1: We were having a super small, intimate wedding under fifty guests,

1223
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 1: and I'd only met her twice. My wife and I

1224
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:01,480
Speaker 1: had already cut close friends and extended fans due to budget. Still,

1225
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 1: after pressure from my mom and stepdad, we agreed on

1226
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,719
Speaker 1: the condition they pay for her meal. They showed up,

1227
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 1: stayed two hours at their reception, then bailed because Cammy

1228
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:14,560
Speaker 1: was overwhelmed. We'd already told Ryan it would be a

1229
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 1: lot for her to meet all of the family at once,

1230
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:19,600
Speaker 1: but he has insisted it wouldn't be a problem. It

1231
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,360
Speaker 1: was annoying, but we let it go and chose to

1232
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:25,400
Speaker 1: focus on our night. Then April rolls around and we

1233
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 1: find out on Facebook they're engaged, but they've been together

1234
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:31,960
Speaker 1: less than five months. No one in our family knew

1235
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:36,320
Speaker 1: he proposed with only her family present. Ryan is normally

1236
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 1: super close to us, so yeah, it's stung to be

1237
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,160
Speaker 1: left out of something that major, But once again, we

1238
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:45,840
Speaker 1: let it go. Then the rat flags really started waving.

1239
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:49,360
Speaker 1: Cammy never speaks directly to us at family dinners unless

1240
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:53,719
Speaker 1: we initiate conversation. She whispers to Ryan like we're strangers

1241
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:56,879
Speaker 1: or not in the room. Sometimes they would disappear mid

1242
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 1: to visit because she needs a break, or they just

1243
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,440
Speaker 1: didn't come at all. On Mother's Day they ghosted my

1244
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: mom entirely, which also happened to be the day my

1245
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 1: thirteen year old cat passed away. Oh my god, so

1246
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 1: much as happening. I hope he can't get you a break.

1247
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 1: I had gotten her when I was sixteen, so she

1248
00:57:13,960 --> 00:57:17,280
Speaker 1: was an animal. Ryan grew up with two. I was devastated.

1249
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,479
Speaker 1: I didn't even get a text from him. Two weeks

1250
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 1: later he called me to ask for my Disney Plus

1251
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 1: password because Cammy wanted to watch a show, and yes,

1252
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:28,080
Speaker 1: I gave it. I was struggling with my mental health

1253
00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 1: big time at this point and just wanted to be

1254
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:33,360
Speaker 1: the bigger person. Then July rolls around. Ryan called me

1255
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: on Sunday night to say they were having an unofficial

1256
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 1: wedding with no celebrant or paperwork that Thursday, four days notice.

1257
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 1: It was at six pm, an hour and a half away,

1258
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 1: and I work full time until five thirty. I asked

1259
00:57:47,800 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 1: him to push it back a few weeks so more

1260
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:52,240
Speaker 1: family could come, especially since her sister was about to

1261
00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 1: give birth and our bio dad was flying down as

1262
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 1: he lives in another state. Overall, it just seemed really

1263
00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:01,920
Speaker 1: last minute. He ignored those messages, didn't respond. I mean,

1264
00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 1: it feels like he doesn't want y'all there. Yeah, I

1265
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 1: feel like he's purposely trying to not have you there. Right.

1266
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: Turns out he was clearly planned well in advance. Cammy

1267
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:13,960
Speaker 1: had a full on wedding dress, her mom flew in

1268
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 1: from another state. She had bridesmaids all wearing matching colors,

1269
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 1: so her family got plenty of notice, while ours got

1270
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 1: a four days heads up. I didn't go in the end,

1271
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:27,920
Speaker 1: after multiple discussions with my mom. I just couldn't support it,

1272
00:58:28,040 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 1: even if it was unofficial. My mom made it barely

1273
00:58:32,200 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 1: still in her pediatric ward scrubs. She threw on her

1274
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 1: only nice coat, which was unfortunately a darker cream color,

1275
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:42,560
Speaker 1: but wanted to avoid being photographed in her Hello Kitty scrubs.

1276
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 1: Cammy waited a few minutes after my mom begged her,

1277
00:58:45,560 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 1: so that My stepdad, who works two hours away, could

1278
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 1: arrive in time, but was cold and hostile to my

1279
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 1: mom for the rest of the night. The next day,

1280
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:56,120
Speaker 1: my mom got vile messages from Ryan's account accusing her

1281
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:58,840
Speaker 1: of ruining their wedding by wearing cream. The tone and

1282
00:58:58,880 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 1: phrasing made it off Cammy had written it. My mom

1283
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 1: was heartbroken. She didn't even have time to change, but

1284
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:07,520
Speaker 1: she showed up out of love and support. Mom was

1285
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 1: already stressed out enough with my sister going into labor

1286
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 1: at any second and her big fiftieth birthday dinner coming up,

1287
00:59:14,000 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 1: so she requested that we all bite our tongues again

1288
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 1: and just leave it. Then August comes around. My brother

1289
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 1: had just celebrated his twenty first birthday. My dad had

1290
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:24,920
Speaker 1: bought him a car as his old one had been

1291
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 1: quite unreliable. Ryan visits Arnana, our biodad's mom, and he

1292
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:30,920
Speaker 1: had sold his old car, so he wanted to go

1293
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 1: pay her back for car repairs she had helped him with.

1294
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,360
Speaker 1: It was her birthday. She asked where Cammy was. Ryan

1295
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,360
Speaker 1: claim she was at her dad's, But when Ryan went

1296
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 1: to go find my pop to give him the money,

1297
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: my nana had looked out the window and saw Cammy

1298
00:59:44,600 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 1: sitting in the front seat, the whole time. Being the

1299
00:59:47,320 --> 00:59:49,960
Speaker 1: loud ethnic grandma she is, She went out to invite

1300
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 1: her in, Cammy refused. They left. Not long after Ryan

1301
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 1: texted her, Dad, tell your mom she can get f't why,

1302
00:59:58,320 --> 01:00:05,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god, come in? Yeah, what is this guy's problem? Please? Dude?

1303
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:08,880
Speaker 1: I lost it. Apparently, Cammy claimed Nana said horrible things

1304
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 1: to her and said she would hit her if she

1305
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 1: didn't get out of the car. Now, my nana is

1306
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:16,320
Speaker 1: more blunt than cruel. She does say wild things sometimes,

1307
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 1: she's old, loves to have wine in the afternoon, and

1308
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 1: has no filter. But I've never known her to threaten anyone.

1309
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 1: And in my own experience, I was in a harmful

1310
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:28,320
Speaker 1: relationship for years before I met my wife. The worst

1311
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 1: she ever said to my ex was why are you

1312
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 1: taking my granddaughter away from me? I messaged Ryan and

1313
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:37,800
Speaker 1: told him I was disgusted and disappointed lying to Nana,

1314
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:41,560
Speaker 1: disrespecting her on her birthday and sending that kind of

1315
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:45,520
Speaker 1: message after everything she'd done for him financially and emotionally.

1316
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 1: I told him to grow the e f up, that

1317
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 1: he couldn't keep burning bridges with people who support him. Surprise,

1318
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:55,680
Speaker 1: Cammy responded from his phone, not even hiding it. She

1319
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:59,280
Speaker 1: accused me of never supporting Ryan, of never making plans

1320
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 1: with him, of not understanding their boundaries, and acted like

1321
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:06,480
Speaker 1: I'm some outsider who's never tried. She claimed they don't

1322
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 1: lie and said I was attacking members simply having feelings.

1323
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 1: So I fired back. I wasn't talking to her, and

1324
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:15,360
Speaker 1: I was talking to my brother. I did make an effort.

1325
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 1: I invited them to Easter dinner and offered to pay

1326
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,439
Speaker 1: for fuel. I messaged them when my cat passed away.

1327
01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,320
Speaker 1: I reached out more than once. I pointed out that

1328
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:27,000
Speaker 1: I work full time, study full time, and yeah, maybe

1329
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: I don't always reach out, but neither does he. Relationships

1330
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 1: are two way street. She's been part of our family

1331
01:01:32,320 --> 01:01:35,080
Speaker 1: for less than a year. She does not get to

1332
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 1: act like she knows him better than the rest of us,

1333
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:41,640
Speaker 1: and texting him from his account to insult people, his parents,

1334
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:45,920
Speaker 1: his grandmother, his siblings is controlling and manipulative. If she

1335
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 1: wants to attack me, she can do it from her

1336
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 1: own damn phone. I also told her just because you

1337
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 1: or Ryan feels something doesn't mean everyone else has to agree.

1338
01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 1: Feelings are valid, but so is everyone else's right to

1339
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:01,480
Speaker 1: set boundaries when they feel disp respect it. Her response

1340
01:02:01,880 --> 01:02:05,000
Speaker 1: get aft. Then she blocked me from Ryan's Facebook. This

1341
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 1: has been boiling for months, and I finally snapped. Now

1342
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:10,760
Speaker 1: I'm being told I should have just let it go,

1343
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:13,560
Speaker 1: but I'm done being the bigger person while my family

1344
01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:16,200
Speaker 1: gets walked all over. Now a couple family members think

1345
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 1: I went too far and should have just let my

1346
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:20,880
Speaker 1: parents deal with it. My mom is asking me to

1347
01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 1: apologize and smooth things over before our next Christmas. But

1348
01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:30,320
Speaker 1: after nearly a year of emotional manipulation, ghosting, double standards,

1349
01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 1: and straight up hostility, I'd had enough. I finally said

1350
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:36,600
Speaker 1: what everyone else was too scared to say. So am

1351
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:39,480
Speaker 1: I the ale for finally snapping and calling them out?

1352
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 1: Even if it caused a massive blow up? And there

1353
01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:46,120
Speaker 1: are some comments. Comment once says not the ale Cami

1354
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:49,480
Speaker 1: is very controlling and manipulative. They haven't even been together

1355
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:52,680
Speaker 1: a year and you're under twenty one. Brother marries this

1356
01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:55,760
Speaker 1: girl in an alleged fake wedding where her entire family

1357
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:58,000
Speaker 1: was invited. She had a full on wedding dress with

1358
01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 1: bridesmaids and the works. I forgot it under twenty one

1359
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 1: me too, I forgot that honestly. Yeah. I feel like

1360
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 1: she's manipulative. Yeah, and he's very naive and he's just

1361
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 1: kind of Yes. Yet Ryan doesn't send invites in advance.

1362
01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:14,520
Speaker 1: He texts you four days before Anne and expects everyone

1363
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 1: to show up on a workday. Ryan has allowed Cammi

1364
01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:21,440
Speaker 1: to lie about his family, burn bridges with his grandma,

1365
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 1: and he's allowed this vindictive witch to disrespect his entire

1366
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:28,080
Speaker 1: family as he does nothing. Your mother is doing herself

1367
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 1: no favors by allowing this behavior to continue. It won't

1368
01:03:31,600 --> 01:03:35,720
Speaker 1: change the predictable outcome. This relationship will only end one

1369
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: of two ways. Either Ryan wakes up from the harmful

1370
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 1: relationship he is in, or he stays with his ale

1371
01:03:42,160 --> 01:03:45,360
Speaker 1: through kids, cheating, and more abuse. Through it all, your

1372
01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 1: family will end up getting cut out anyway, so you

1373
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:52,240
Speaker 1: apologizing now will only fuel Cammi to act even more unhinged.

1374
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:54,240
Speaker 1: What you and your family need to do is get

1375
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:57,480
Speaker 1: Ryan on his own or even with crazy Cammy and

1376
01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:01,360
Speaker 1: have a conversation. If she's there, probably will turn into

1377
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 1: an argument because she will just make crap up. But

1378
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 1: if you can get him on his own You may

1379
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,760
Speaker 1: be able to get what the f is happening from him,

1380
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 1: or it could be that he is fully on board

1381
01:04:10,800 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 1: with how she's acting and he's just as much of

1382
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,240
Speaker 1: a douchebag as he is. Sit down with your mom

1383
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:18,600
Speaker 1: and let her know you won't be apologizing. She also

1384
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:21,520
Speaker 1: needs to stop allowing Ryan and Cammy to treat her

1385
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:25,040
Speaker 1: like crap. They're not doing anyone any favors. Ryan is

1386
01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:27,240
Speaker 1: an adult who is choosing to allow his girlfriend of

1387
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:30,480
Speaker 1: a year to blow up his relationship with his family.

1388
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 1: If that's what he wants, then that's what he can have,

1389
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:36,480
Speaker 1: and that is the end of the story. Yeah, it

1390
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:41,440
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like the best situation for anyone. Yeah, but

1391
01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:43,320
Speaker 1: you know, stay out of it as much as you can.