WEBVTT - Abortion: The Body Politic - The Storytellers [Bonus] 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:06.160 Hi, everyone, I'm Katie Curic. Our series Abortion the Body 0:00:06.200 --> 0:00:09.360 Politic has wrapped, but we wanted to give the very 0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:12.879 last word to a special group of people, people who 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:17.279 have had abortions. If we really wanted to see the 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:19.680 real story of abortion in America and we really wanted 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:23.440 to see what's actually going on with abortion access, we'd 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:25.800 be asking the folks who have abortions, what did this 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:28.280 mean to you? What was this like for you? How 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:29.880 hard was it? How easy was it for you to 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:33.600 get your abortion? Kelsey Rhodes is one of the first 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:36.519 people we spoke to when we were reporting this series. 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:41.800 She's the interim director of Communications at Physicians for Reproductive Health, 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:45.239 and she's part of a team that put together guidance 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:49.319 for journalists who are reporting on abortion, guidance that has 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:52.959 been integral to this podcast. I think the number one 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:56.480 tip is to center the lived experience as of folks 0:00:56.480 --> 0:00:59.480 who are actually impacted by abortion bands. So how are 0:00:59.520 --> 0:01:02.120 we sent ring what's going on with patients. How are 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.080 we centering what's going on with the folks who are 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:07.000 really providing that care and making that care possible. How 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:10.720 are we listening to the lives that they're leading how 0:01:10.760 --> 0:01:13.280 this has impacted them, how it makes them feel, as 0:01:13.319 --> 0:01:16.160 opposed to centering the folks that are trying to strip 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:20.560 this away and remove this from communities. Abortion should be 0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:22.800 able to be as public or as private as you want. 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:25.080 No one should be forced to put their lives on 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:27.920 display if they don't want to. But we do have 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:31.760 a lot of amazing abortion storytellers who want to share 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:35.280 how either life changing or absolutely normal and boring their 0:01:35.319 --> 0:01:39.040 abortion was for them. And that's the that's the case, right. 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:42.399 This is something that um is a very normal and 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:44.760 integrated part of a lot of people's lives and a 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:50.720 lot of people's healthcare. You've heard many first person abortion 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:54.720 stories throughout this series, but so many more were shared, 0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:59.920 some from seasoned abortion storytellers and others from people share 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:04.960 for the very first time. Today. Organizations like Shout Your 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:09.360 Abortion and we Testify help people do this. But the 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:14.000 tradition of sharing abortion stories publicly started back in nineteen 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:17.680 sixty nine in New York City. The first so called 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:21.880 abortion speak out was organized by the socialist feminist group 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:27.960 the Red Stockings. Naturally, Lauria Steinham was there. I was 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:32.960 at New York. We had started New York magazine and 0:02:33.080 --> 0:02:36.919 I had a column there called The City Politic. So 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:40.640 I went to an abortion speak out in a church 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:45.960 basement somewhere downtown that they were conducting, and for the 0:02:46.000 --> 0:02:49.280 first time I saw I mean, I had not been 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:52.120 all that secret about having an abortion, but certainly was 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:55.560 not shouting it out in public. And they were having 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:59.400 a public hearing, and women were getting up and telling 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:04.000 their stories of having had to seek an illegal abortion, 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:07.840 and also praising a doctor in Pennsylvania, I think, who 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:14.080 had long been performing safe abortions. So it was the 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:17.560 first time there was in my life that there was 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:24.560 a public event in which abortion was discussed openly and honestly, 0:03:25.160 --> 0:03:28.280 and it did have a huge impact on me. It 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:31.600 was one of the reasons basic reasons there came to 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:35.240 be a feminist move when it was an extension of 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:42.080 Jane and all of the underground networks. Uh, And it 0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:47.320 was just simply you know that we are equal citizens 0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:50.600 and we have power over our own lives, just as 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:56.880 men do. Gloria Steinham kicks off our abortion speak out. 0:03:57.360 --> 0:04:00.000 She was twenty two when she had an illegal abortion 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:06.840 in in nineteen I had graduated from college, I was 0:04:07.120 --> 0:04:11.000 engaged to be married to a very good, nice person, 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:14.440 but I knew that it would be a big mistake 0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:18.080 for me, especially he was ten years older and more 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:24.159 settled in his life. So I just fled to to 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:28.640 London and it was there that I finally realized that 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:32.640 I was indeed pregnant. I fantasized that I would go 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:35.760 to Paris. Somehow I thought that Paris was a more 0:04:35.880 --> 0:04:42.440 accepting city. I forgot that it was also Catholic. Anyway, UM, 0:04:43.000 --> 0:04:47.800 I ended by calling up a physician just because he 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:50.839 was I looked up his name in the phone book 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:54.359 and he was close to where I was living. And 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:58.560 I went to him and you know, confirmed that I 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:02.760 was indeed pregnant, and you know, and it was clear 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:05.719 to him that I did not want to be so 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:09.839 he and I dedicated a book to him later because 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:15.800 of this. He said, UM, if you never promise never 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:21.680 to tell anyone wants anyone my name one and two, 0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:24.880 if you do what you want to do with your life, 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:29.479 I will be the first signer because they are required to. 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:33.600 And he sent me to a woman physician who actually 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:37.600 did the abortion. So I dedicated a book to him, 0:05:37.720 --> 0:05:42.839 Dr John Sharp, who probably was not alive by then, 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:49.080 but I wanted to thank him publicly. I sort of thought, 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:52.560 just because of the culture I had grown up in, 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:56.680 that perhaps I should feel guilty. So I walked around 0:05:56.760 --> 0:06:00.279 London for a few days trying to make myself guilty, 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:04.320 and I couldn't. I absolutely could not, because it was 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:08.480 clear to me that I had taken control. It was 0:06:08.520 --> 0:06:12.039 that it was my body, hello, and that it was 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:16.560 my life. Uh. You know. I was helped in that 0:06:17.160 --> 0:06:20.479 by the doctor I went to, and then by the 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:24.359 woman doctor he sent me to to perform the origin, 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:29.520 because they were themselves very guilt free. But I was 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:33.320 not helped in that by the culture of the nineteen 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:36.680 fifties and I and I hope that that is over. 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:40.520 I hope that women understand that we have a right 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:45.480 and even a duty to control our own physical selves, 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:52.000 that there is no democracy without that. My name is 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:55.200 Renee Bracey Sherman, I used to her pronouns, and I 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:58.560 am the founder and executive director of We Testify, which 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:02.040 is an organization dedicate to the leadership and representation of 0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:05.400 people who have abortions. I had an abortion when I 0:07:05.440 --> 0:07:09.119 was nineteen. I was in a relationship with a guy 0:07:09.279 --> 0:07:14.480 who my parents couldn't stand and he was just we 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:16.800 were in love, but it was a really toxic relationship. 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:22.040 And the abortion itself was um actually quite wonderful. I 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:25.720 remember being in the room and they explained to me 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:30.760 everything that was going to happen. And the nurse she 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:35.280 was this um tall white woman with dark black hair. 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:38.960 She had a beret on and and um a shirt 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:41.320 with a scrub top with long sleeves and a really 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:44.600 long skirt and um a star of David. And so 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:49.480 where I grew up there's a lot of Orthodox and 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:54.200 also Hasidic Jews, and so UM. I remember feeling at 0:07:54.200 --> 0:07:57.240 first a little confronted because I was I felt like, 0:07:57.360 --> 0:07:59.960 you know, when you talk about an abortion, it's religious 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.880 people don't support abortion, and then finding out that other 0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:05.920 faiths do, and actually Christianity really says nothing about it 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:12.160 until the eight hundreds, and that that Judaism does support abortion. 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:15.200 And so to see her there was really at first 0:08:15.240 --> 0:08:17.600 it was like drawing, but also reassuring when I learned 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:21.040 so much more right and she held my hand through 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:25.280 the procedure, and I remember laying back and looking on 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:29.400 the ceiling and there were kind of the pulled out 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:32.120 pages from the National Geographic just take to the ceiling 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:35.000 and they were all of butterflies. And to this day, 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:36.640 I mean, I'm sitting in my office right now and 0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:39.360 I'm looking at I have a butterfly on my um 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:42.840 computer monitor, and I've butterflies on the wall and hanging. 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:47.080 Because it did feel like this moment of transformation that 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:51.439 was beautiful and that I felt really loved and supported, 0:08:51.520 --> 0:08:54.160 and she held my hand to the whole thing, and 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:56.080 you know, she was just so wonderful. I don't know 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:59.360 her name, but um, you know, and even in the 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.200 recovery room she just sat there with me. I just 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:08.120 remember feeling at peace and and you know, there's so 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:10.439 many studies that say what is the most common feeling 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.680 that people have after abortion, and it is relief and 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:15.840 then of course a lot of other things, and there's 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:19.080 mixed emotions. Like for me, there was sadness, not at 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:22.640 all about the abortion, um, but just that I knew 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:24.839 that after that that relationship was ending and that I 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.160 would need to continue on with a different path in 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:30.200 my life and letting go of a lot of things. 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:33.720 And so UM, I'm really proud of myself and proud 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:38.400 of nineteen year old Renee who was able to get 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:43.120 herself to that clinic, um and get herself on a 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:46.400 track to where I am right now, you know. And 0:09:46.440 --> 0:09:50.240 I later did tell my family. UM. I told my 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:52.480 mom first, and she cried because she was so sad 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:57.120 that she couldn't have been there to support me. Um. 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:00.440 My dad was very like, I mean, it is your 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:03.120 body or decision and got glad we didn't have that 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:06.000 boyfriend in our lives for eighteen years, and I was like, yeah, 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:09.680 that's true. Um. And then it wasn't until four years 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:12.880 later that my mom finally told me that my life 0:10:13.440 --> 0:10:15.880 was made possible because she had an abortion before me. 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:21.720 And I think I had told her when she told 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:23.760 me this, like, I wish you had told me that 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:28.240 earlier because I then would have gone to you when 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:32.079 I had my abortion because I thought you were perfect. 0:10:32.240 --> 0:10:34.719 I didn't know you even dated anyone before Dad. I 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:39.160 I thought every you did everything right and that I 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:42.000 was just the funk up. And she was like, no, 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:43.760 not at all, Like I'm so proud of you. And 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.920 so this is why I share my story, and this 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.560 is why we talk about it, because I think we 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:52.600 forget to talk to the people in our families and 0:10:52.640 --> 0:10:55.079 our lives. We are afraid they're going to judge us, 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.320 but the reality is that they're going to love us. 0:10:57.480 --> 0:10:59.720 That's why we say everyone loves someone who's had an abortion, 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:04.120 and I it's brought me and my mother so much closer. 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:10.800 My name is Jalen far Munson, and I'm the development 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:15.760 and communications manager at fun Texas Choice. My first abortion, 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:18.760 I was about twenty years old, and that wasn't I 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:21.679 would say, a really pivotal moment for me. I just 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:23.600 felt like at that time it made a lot of sense. 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:25.640 I was in college. I didn't want to have a 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:27.760 child with the person that you know was the father, 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.000 and so I decided, okay, like that's it was an 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.079 easy decision for me. And I was living in Maryland 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:36.160 at that time, where access to abortion um is pretty 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:40.000 it's a lot easier than in Texas obviously, But then 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.880 this time around it was different because I was twenty 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.280 nine and I do want children. Having children and something 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:48.960 that I do want, and so when my partner and 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:53.199 I had to have that really difficult conversation, we hadn't 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:55.760 known each other very long, and so we're kind of 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:57.920 sitting here like, okay, we do really like each other, 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:00.360 and we do really want this relationship to go forward, 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:04.560 but we don't feel prepared to bring another person when 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:08.880 we barely know each other. Um, And so that was 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.720 very difficult. But I found out I was pregnant a 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:15.520 week before SP eight went into effect, and so while 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:19.400 navigating our romantic relationship, we also had to navigate this 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:22.160 new law. And so when I found out, I booked 0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:24.640 an appointment going to college's office and I went in 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:29.480 and they told me, you know, unfortunately, we can't terminate 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:32.079 the pregnancy for you. We don't do that here. Um. 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:34.520 They gave me the name of a doctor on a 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:36.920 sticky note and was like, you know, call this this 0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:40.520 doctor essentially, and so I called that clinic and I 0:12:40.559 --> 0:12:43.880 made that first appointment, and unfortunately, in Texas there's a 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:47.040 mandatory waiting period of twenty four hours, so they were 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.319 able to get me that first appointment, which was a 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:52.080 few days before September one. But they told me, honestly, 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:54.880 you know, we may not be able to see you 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:57.400 for the second appointment if the law goes into effect 0:12:57.440 --> 0:13:00.160 on September one and you're far enough a long at 0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:02.920 we're not able to help you. So I decided to 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.559 go to the appointment anyway, um, and just like kind 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:09.240 of risk it. And so when I got there, I 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:12.959 just remember walking in and seeing so many people there. 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:16.080 So we're still in the pandemic, and there's at least 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:20.280 fifty people in that waiting room, and so that alone 0:13:20.480 --> 0:13:24.439 gave me anxiety. They called us by numbers. They didn't 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:28.120 call us by names, because that's how many people they 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:31.240 have to see in a day that I guess using 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:34.680 names it's just probably not efficient, which I understand, but 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.319 it didn't make me feel good. And so after sitting 0:13:37.360 --> 0:13:39.840 there for a while, you know, I just didn't feel 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:44.800 good about what I was doing or just where I was. 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:46.880 I just felt like I didn't have enough time to 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.360 really think. And so I left the clinic and said, 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.400 you know what, you've had an abortion in Maryland. You 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:54.000 know what the Maryland experiences like. Just go back home 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:58.520 to Maryland. So I called the Planned Parenthood in Maryland 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:01.160 and made another appointment, and then they asked me if 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.920 I needed financial assistance, and I said yes, And so 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.800 I called some of the funds that they put on 0:14:07.000 --> 0:14:09.400 you know, the list for me, and the first fund 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:14.559 that called me back was fun Texas Choice, and I cannot, 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:17.640 like I get emotional kind of thinking about this moment 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:21.400 because my co worker, this person is my coworker now. 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:24.640 But I just remember like hearing their voice on the 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:26.760 end of the other on the other end of the phone, 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:32.280 and it was like the nicest, sweetest voice I've ever 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:36.280 heard in my entire life. Um, and it just felt 0:14:36.360 --> 0:14:40.280 so good to talk to somebody who it was just 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:46.600 so empathetic and like non judgmental, um and helpful during 0:14:46.640 --> 0:14:51.640 that time. And I think that people really underestimate like 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:55.440 just how far like kindness can go, because I felt 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:58.160 like nobody was very kind to me up until that point. 0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:00.160 You know, I know they were trying their best, but 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:04.880 like it just made me feel like I knew I 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.600 was making the right decision and like somebody cared enough 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:09.800 to go out of their way to get me where 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:13.280 I needed to be. And so she told me, you know, 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:15.640 it's it was like labor Day weekend. So she said, 0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:18.360 you know, um, you may not hear from me for 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:20.440 the west of the rest of the weekend, but I 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.720 just want you to trust me and just know, but 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:25.040 I will get you where you need to be. And 0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.800 I said, Okay, I don't know this person but I'm 0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:29.880 gonna just you know, put my faith in them. And 0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.480 I sat in my room and I watched um the 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:36.560 whole first season of Britain in like a day. UM. 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:40.280 And then that Tuesday morning, she called me and she said, UM, 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:42.000 I have a flight for you. I have a hotel 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.040 for you. This is where you need to go. And 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:47.800 they got me where I needed to be. And I 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:53.000 will forever be grateful for that, um, because like, I 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:55.480 think that's the nicest thing that anybody's ever done for 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:59.440 me in my entire life, like a complete stranger. UM. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.560 But it may me very sad because I just don't 0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:04.680 believe that people should have to do that, Like I 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:07.360 don't think that people should have to depend on the 0:16:07.480 --> 0:16:14.240 kindness of strangers in a country like hours to access healthcare. 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:21.000 My name is Merl gold Day. I am currently seventy 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:26.400 years old. I became active sexually active in my teens 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:31.720 in high school much too um, my dismay, I guess 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:38.880 much UM. I became pregnant in high school in nineteen 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:44.960 sixty nine. I gave that child up for adoption. In 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:49.320 the late seventies. I was married, but I was living 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:52.880 in Israel at the time, and after we've been there 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:58.480 for a few months. I began to see that my UM, 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:02.120 my husband. He is never physically abusive, but he was 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:06.840 extremely controlling, and I began to realize this was not 0:17:08.200 --> 0:17:11.320 maybe the marriage I wanted to be in. But I 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:18.679 got pregnant. UM and in Israel, as in many countries, 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:24.200 there was debate over the legality of abortion. However, UM 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:32.120 Israel has always had universal health care, and surprisingly UM, 0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:35.919 you could get an abortion. However, you had to go 0:17:36.119 --> 0:17:39.280 sit in front of a committee who decided whether or 0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:46.359 not your your reasons were worthy. UM. I found that 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:51.200 I was pregnant. I was probably nine days past my period. 0:17:51.240 --> 0:17:53.800 I mean it was really quick when I realized something 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:57.920 was wrong or whatever, and I immediately applied for an abortion. 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.520 I had to go sit in a little teeny room 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:05.280 with about five professionals who had questions for me as 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:09.240 to why I wanted this abortion. Now I will tell 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:13.960 you that, UM, there was I've been sitting in a hallway. 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:16.199 Other women were sitting there. We were getting called in 0:18:16.280 --> 0:18:19.440 one by one, and when I walked into the room, 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:23.879 there was a stack of charts, like you know, a 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:26.359 bunch of charts on one side, and then there were 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:29.399 like one or two charts over to another side. I 0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.240 didn't know which side was which, what was going on, 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:35.399 But they asked me a bunch of questions. They felt 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:40.080 that I had legitimate concerns for um the outcome of 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:43.960 my marriage, and that this probably was not a good 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:47.480 time for me to start a family. And they agreed 0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:49.920 to allow me to have an abortion. And they tossed 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:54.560 my chart on the high bile, so apparently making an 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:58.440 assumption here that that seemed to be the more common thing. 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.359 They gave me a number to call. I called the number, 0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:05.040 I made an appointment, I went in, I had the 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:08.240 procedure done, went home that evening, and that was that. 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:13.080 And when I was sitting around with my friends UM 0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:16.359 in Israel's just sitting around a table, and I was upset. 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:20.199 I was distressed about the situation. I'm sitting around a 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:24.200 table with three other women, two of whom had also 0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:30.040 had abortions at some point. And now we're talking at Israel. 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:32.359 We're all we all happened to be Jewish. Sitting at 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:38.240 the table, Um, everybody had their reasons, whatever they were, 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:43.560 they were their own personal reasons. And uh, it was 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:46.720 a lot more common than I knew that I knew about. 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:51.159 It's so beyond me to think about judging someone of 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:54.520 her reasons for wanting to do whatever it is. I 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:56.399 just said, you have to do what's right for you 0:19:56.520 --> 0:20:02.720 at that time. My name is Mel. I am in 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.840 my early forties. I had an abortion in my early twenties, 0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:10.000 and this is my abortion story. So I joined the 0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:15.159 Navy when I was nineteen years old. I completely surprised 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:19.240 my family and my friends. Um, they did not see 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:23.399 that for me in my future. And I went to 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:27.399 a school. Um that's generally what happens in the in 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:29.320 the military. They'll put you in a trade or a 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:32.760 or a profession. Went to schooling for a couple of 0:20:32.800 --> 0:20:35.800 months and then went to my first duty station, which 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:39.080 happened to be on an aircraft carrier in the late 0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:43.399 nineties and Chips Company company of about three thousand sailors. 0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:46.480 I was one of about three women on that ship. 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:48.560 So you can kind of do the math and see 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:52.840 the um statistics, the data, the ratio of men to 0:20:53.440 --> 0:20:56.000 men to women. And then this is not a story 0:20:56.080 --> 0:21:00.199 about sexual harassment. For um. The other challenge as I 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:03.280 faced on board ship, that's for another story and for 0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:06.560 another segment. I did have some great times. It wasn't 0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:09.320 all bad. So anyway, I was kind of having my 0:21:09.400 --> 0:21:12.840 fun and probably reckless if I was to definitely look 0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:17.480 back on that. And then I met a man who 0:21:17.560 --> 0:21:20.040 was ten years older than me. So by that time 0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:24.600 I was about twenty one. He was thirty one and married, 0:21:25.600 --> 0:21:29.760 and he had four children, two women. He was the pursuer. 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:32.560 But that doesn't matter. I was. I was of age 0:21:32.600 --> 0:21:34.919 and could make my own decisions, you know, to the 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:37.040 best of my abilities and so forth. So in the 0:21:37.040 --> 0:21:40.240 maturity level, I suppose, But on the ship, at least 0:21:40.400 --> 0:21:43.359 in the late nineties, for females, there was not a 0:21:43.400 --> 0:21:47.600 whole lot of birth control options. And I say that, 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:50.720 you know, isn't a pill um. You know, they would 0:21:50.760 --> 0:21:53.119 have like two options to choose from if those didn't 0:21:53.200 --> 0:21:56.680 meet your health requirements, right, Like, I don't feel good 0:21:56.680 --> 0:21:58.280 on this one. I don't feel good on this one. Well, 0:21:58.280 --> 0:22:03.320 you're kind of pardon vulgarity of your sl a little bit. Right. So, 0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:07.520 while I was actively deployed overseas and I don't remember 0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:09.400 what country, it occurred to me that I had missed 0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:12.720 the period um I found out, you know, I thought 0:22:12.760 --> 0:22:15.240 I was pregnant. I had to go to if anybody's 0:22:15.280 --> 0:22:18.239 traveled overseas lave pharmacia, you know, most of them are 0:22:18.240 --> 0:22:22.040 called something close to that, trying to find a UM 0:22:22.040 --> 0:22:24.480 and and then trying to describe in a country you 0:22:24.520 --> 0:22:27.840 don't speak their language. What what a pregnancy test wouldn't 0:22:27.840 --> 0:22:29.760 could look like? Right? You know? Like this is what 0:22:29.800 --> 0:22:34.919 I need. So anyway, I was pregnant. I went and 0:22:34.960 --> 0:22:38.480 talked to one of the doctors on board ship and 0:22:38.600 --> 0:22:42.800 I just told him that, um, I was pregnant and 0:22:43.000 --> 0:22:46.520 what my options were. And I specifically asked if I 0:22:46.560 --> 0:22:48.679 had to tell who the father was. He said, no, 0:22:48.760 --> 0:22:51.600 you don't. What I hadn't talked about is the fact 0:22:51.640 --> 0:22:54.800 that this older man was much senior to me. He 0:22:54.880 --> 0:22:57.480 obviously had a lot more to lose than I did. 0:22:57.520 --> 0:22:59.919 I was very much a junior airman and he was 0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:03.280 is um, you know, way way higher than me as 0:23:03.280 --> 0:23:05.439 far as ranking. And then he also had his family, 0:23:05.640 --> 0:23:08.639 right um, And I was just by myself. So so 0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:14.600 I say all that is when I got pregnant, my 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:19.160 chain of command obviously got involved. And I will never 0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:22.439 forget I was called before the OH five, which is 0:23:22.440 --> 0:23:26.760 not a not a colonel or a captain in the Navy. 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:30.280 It was just one step below them. Here I am little, 0:23:30.320 --> 0:23:33.520 oh me junior, junior person, called in front of them 0:23:33.720 --> 0:23:38.320 by myself, no lawyer, no representation, nobody with me. And 0:23:38.359 --> 0:23:40.720 he demanded to know who the father of my child was. 0:23:41.440 --> 0:23:44.800 And I looked at that man, scared witless and told him, 0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:48.160 it's with it's it's my right to tell you. I'm 0:23:48.200 --> 0:23:50.320 not telling you who much the father of my child is. 0:23:53.720 --> 0:23:57.280 So that's my That's what I was facing with work, 0:23:57.720 --> 0:24:03.119 with my career at the time. At home, I called 0:24:03.119 --> 0:24:06.720 my mom. You know, um, I wasn't raised that any 0:24:06.720 --> 0:24:10.320 of this was acceptable, I guess, you know. But I 0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:12.800 told my mom was going on, just to kind of 0:24:13.080 --> 0:24:15.600 thinking maybe I would have a soft place fall. And 0:24:15.720 --> 0:24:21.560 my mother, in no uncertain terms, told me that, um, 0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:23.800 I would always be welcome to her own in her 0:24:23.840 --> 0:24:26.760 home because I was her daughter, but my bastard child 0:24:26.800 --> 0:24:30.240