1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,959 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, welcome back, Welcome back 5 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: to another episode of the Psychology of Your Twenties. New listeners, 6 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: old listeners. It's so great to have you here, So 7 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 1: great to have you here for this super exciting topic 8 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 1: that I am so pumped to talk about today, and 9 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: that is the psychology of New Year's resolutions. There was 10 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,240 Speaker 1: no better time to talk about this than now. Twenty 11 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: twenty three is right around the corner. Maybe you're listening 12 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: to this in the month of January. The new year 13 00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:00,040 Speaker 1: has just started, and with that, many of us and 14 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: to make some pretty big promises or goals for ourselves 15 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: for the new year for twenty twenty three, which I 16 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 1: think is honestly incredible, a great idea. I think that 17 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions are a really kind of positive thing 18 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,920 Speaker 1: to reflect on and to set for ourselves as we 19 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 1: enter into a new chapter. You know, they're all about 20 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: self improvement and agency and growth, which I think also 21 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: really embodies this show. So I'm a big fan and 22 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: if you are setting New Year's resolutions this year, I 23 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: want you to succeed. So today we are going to 24 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 1: break down the history and also the psychology behind New 25 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: Year's resolutions, why it is that we set them, to 26 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: begin with, why they often fail, but also what we 27 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: can learn from our failures and the failure of New 28 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: Year's resolutions so that we can succeed, so that we 29 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: can see our New Year's resolutions through. Essentially, what I 30 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: really want to understand and explain in today's episode is 31 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: what it is that determines the success of a New 32 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: Year's resolution. There is so much fascinating research behind this, 33 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: so many interesting concepts like Roman philosophy, self efficacy and 34 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: self improvement theory, even a discussion of social norms, and 35 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: so much more. So I am so excited to kind 36 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: of jump into this first episode of the New Year's series, 37 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 1: perhaps the first episode of twenty twenty three. It's going 38 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: to be an amazing year, and what a great way 39 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: to kick it off with a discussion about New Year's resolutions. 40 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: So let's get into it and learn all that there 41 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: is to know about New Year's resolutions and hopefully learn 42 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: how we can apply some of the theory some of 43 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: the psychology to our own goals so that we can 44 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: be successful at the end of the day. So, of course, 45 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:14,000 Speaker 1: as we always do at the beginning of each episode, 46 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: we want to break down some of the history behind 47 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:22,639 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions and get our basics downpat before jumping 48 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: into the psychology and the explanations behind why this concept, 49 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 1: this idea of making promises to ourselves at the beginning 50 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: of the new year, why it even exists. So the 51 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: origin of making New Year's resolutions, it rests with the Babylonians. 52 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: For those of you who do not know who these 53 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: people are, I didn't know who they were, but they 54 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: were an ancient group of people who lived in present 55 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: day Iraq from I think like two thousand to four 56 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: hundred BC, and many historians trace the beginnings and the 57 00:03:56,600 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: existence of New Year's resolutions back to this group. So 58 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: these people would reportedly make promises to the gods in 59 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 1: hopes that they would earn good favor in the coming year. So, 60 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 1: for example, they might make a promise that they're going 61 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: to have the most successful harvest they've ever seen, or 62 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: be a really good partner or a really good husband 63 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: or wife, and by succeeding in that by fulfilling that goal, 64 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: that ambition, they almost demonstrated to the gods that they 65 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: were true to their word, that they were had integrity, 66 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: that they were good people, and as a result they 67 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: would receive good favor good karma from these same gods. 68 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: Although I don't think that we make out modern day 69 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 1: resolutions to the gods per se, the new year is 70 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: still and obviously a very important and somewhat spiritual time 71 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: that represents so many things, but mostly new beginnings, the future, 72 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: or a new chapter in our lives. Interestingly, this is 73 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: I think a very common meaning. It's applied across different cultures. 74 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: The month of January is actually named after the god Janus, 75 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 1: who was the god of new beginnings, So we can 76 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: see that there is this reverence placed on the new 77 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:22,720 Speaker 1: year throughout many cultures and throughout many time periods. I 78 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: think as humans we really crave the comfort of meaning 79 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: and tradition, and the new year is able to bring 80 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 1: both of these things and offer somewhat of a dedicated 81 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: time for reflection and contemplation of what we want from 82 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: this new period of our lives. And you know, it 83 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 1: often involves a pretty big celebration as well, you know, fireworks, 84 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 1: champagne and all of that. But more than that, I 85 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: think it provides a dedicated time for looking back, feeling grateful, nostalgic, 86 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: and perhaps also thinking about what it is about our 87 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: lives that may be missing, something where we feel we 88 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: may be lacking or dissatisfied, where we can improve whilst 89 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: also being hopeful for the future and invest it in 90 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: the ways that we can better ourselves. We tend to 91 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 1: set resolutions at this time of the year because the 92 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,839 Speaker 1: New Year in particular serves as this cyclical marker of 93 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 1: time during which we can reevaluate and take inventory on 94 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: our lives, and the drive for making resolutions is very 95 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 1: much motivated by this punctuation in time, which activates our 96 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 1: hopes and our expectations for what we want to achieve 97 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:47,480 Speaker 1: going forward. So this psychologist, her name is doctor strongand 98 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: she had a really good explanation for this that I 99 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,839 Speaker 1: thought would be super relevant when we're talking about why 100 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,839 Speaker 1: it is that the new year really sparks this desire 101 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 1: to change up our lives, and she says that the 102 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,760 Speaker 1: New Year, what it is, gives us a kind of 103 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,839 Speaker 1: a sense of renewal and It causes us to think 104 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 1: about areas in our lives where we want to improve. 105 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:12,520 Speaker 1: And this kind of distinct start of a new chapter 106 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: of a new year, you know, the clock kind of 107 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: takes over into a new calendar. It feels like a 108 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: natural time to make this change. There is really no 109 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: better time than the beginning of a new year. And 110 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,080 Speaker 1: I think this is the marvel and also the significance 111 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,560 Speaker 1: of a new year for making massive changes to our 112 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: everyday lives and I guess our overall lifestyle. When we 113 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: think of New Year's resolutions, I think a few typical 114 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: categories or examples often come to mind, and there's actually 115 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: been research on this on these very categories, these common 116 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 1: categories that we see. So this woman, Kaitlin Woolley from Cornell, 117 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: she did some research into New Year's resolutions and she 118 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,240 Speaker 1: wanted to find out what were the most common types 119 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:07,560 Speaker 1: of resolutions. I don't think this is a surprise to anyone, 120 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: but the majority, overwhelmingly. I think it was as high 121 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: as like fifty five fifty six percent of resolutions were 122 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: health related, so wanting to exercise more, eat healthy, lose weight. 123 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: Those were by far the most common New Year's resolutions. Reported. 124 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,960 Speaker 1: Then we have work related and financial related kind of 125 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 1: resolutions at about thirty five percent, So a lot of 126 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,959 Speaker 1: people reported that they are going into the new year 127 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: wanting to save money, get out of debt, get organized 128 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:45,559 Speaker 1: by a house, these kind of financial and work related 129 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 1: ambitions that they have. And then we also have these 130 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:53,160 Speaker 1: social goals. These accounted for about five to ten percent overall. 131 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,680 Speaker 1: You know, goals like spending more time with family, making 132 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: more friends, making time for romance, going on dates, meeting 133 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 1: a partner. These were also a pretty big category of 134 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 1: New Year's resolutions. I don't think I was surprised at 135 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 1: all to hear how many resolutions or goals we make 136 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 1: at the start of a new year have to do 137 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: with our physical health and our physical appearance, mainly just 138 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: because I think it is a huge source of just 139 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: general insecurity for many of us, for many many people, 140 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: and these goals can be super varied, but they're often 141 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: focused on things like feeling better in our bodies, maybe 142 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: being able to accomplish a certain physical feat like a 143 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 1: half marathon. Sometimes they have a lot to do with 144 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: our eating and our diet, but of course also on 145 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: how we look. Fitness is obviously a part of this, 146 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: but I definitely have a bit of a bone to 147 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: pick with goals that are focused on weight loss, just 148 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: because I actually think they're really hard to achieve, especially 149 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 1: with the pressure and the hype of a new year, 150 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,839 Speaker 1: and we get so excited about this, we imagine how 151 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: we're going to look, you know, what it's going to 152 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:10,680 Speaker 1: feel like. We don't understand the investment that it sometimes takes. 153 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:16,280 Speaker 1: And I've been seeing news resolutions about weight loss everywhere 154 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,560 Speaker 1: all over my TikTok right now, and it's kind of 155 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 1: what inspired me to do this episode because I began 156 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: thinking about my own New Year's expectations or goals for 157 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, and I can honestly say, I think 158 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 1: this is the first year that my New Year's resolutions 159 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:41,480 Speaker 1: are not focused on what I look like or you know, 160 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: my body, which is like so shocking to me. I 161 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,959 Speaker 1: think that they have been focused on that for as 162 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: long as I can remember. There's no shame if that 163 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: is your new Year's resolution. You know, it's your body, 164 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: it's your choice. As long as you're going into it 165 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,560 Speaker 1: with a healthy and sustainable mindset, go for it. It's 166 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: honestly your life. And if that's going to make you happier. 167 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: That's fantastic that you have decided to focus on that 168 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: for your health and as an element of your health 169 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 1: for twenty twenty three. But I think there are other 170 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: health goals as well that are perhaps more achievable and 171 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 1: I would say more holistic. You know, maybe your New 172 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:22,400 Speaker 1: Year's resolution is to stop drinking or to drink less. 173 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:26,559 Speaker 1: That's one of mine next year. I really, I honestly 174 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 1: do not have the time to be hungover as much 175 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,559 Speaker 1: as I was last year, and I just kind of 176 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 1: want to cut back. So that's one of my news resolutions. 177 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 1: Another one I see quite often is to like walk 178 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: ten thousand steps a day. I think these are like 179 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: that one in particular, that ten thousand step one is 180 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: a lot more achievable than setting some obscure weight loss 181 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:54,520 Speaker 1: goal because it's achievable, it can be integrated into your life, 182 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 1: and it affects so much more than just you know, 183 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,080 Speaker 1: the number on a scale. It affects the time and 184 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 1: we spend outdoors. It affects how we feel in our body, 185 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,200 Speaker 1: it affects our cardiovascular health. So I think it's a 186 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: much more well rounded goal. Another big category that obviously 187 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan. Hove is the mental health resolutions, 188 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 1: the mental health goals. These are mainly focused on our 189 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 1: emotional well being and the things that we can do 190 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: to shift our mindset and our mental perspective. You know, 191 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: there are the normal ones, like going to therapy, trying 192 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: to perhaps prioritize your boundaries and your space, but there 193 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,760 Speaker 1: are some others that I think are fantastic, like reducing 194 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 1: your screen time. Our exposure to social media and to 195 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 1: just the Internet and screens in general can have such 196 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 1: a strange and nuanced effect on our mental health. So 197 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:58,679 Speaker 1: I think reducing screen time is such a fantastic goal. 198 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: If that is your priority, reading more, that's an amazing one. 199 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 1: It's highly achievable. And another one I saw was to 200 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 1: get at least twenty minutes of sun or outdoors time 201 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: a day. That is such an amazing New Year's resolution. Honestly, 202 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 1: it's so easy to integrate into our lives, especially if 203 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,320 Speaker 1: you live somewhere like Australia, where you know the weather 204 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: is sometimes bad but in general most of the time bearable. 205 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,720 Speaker 1: And it also allows us to incorporate many of the 206 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 1: health benefits of being in nature. So I think that 207 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: if that is something you want to focus on, what 208 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: an amazing goal. A couple others, just to briefly mention, 209 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,840 Speaker 1: we talked about financial goals, you know, saving for a 210 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 1: particular reason, maybe you want to buy a house or 211 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: go on a big trip. And then there are some 212 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,960 Speaker 1: other like niche goals and achievements like I don't know, 213 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: wanting to climb everest, or to knit fifty mini jackets 214 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: for your cats, start a business, start a podcast. That 215 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 1: one sounds pretty familiar, and these kind of goals are 216 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,920 Speaker 1: often super unique and I would say not shared by 217 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,439 Speaker 1: many people, which at times, on one hand, I think 218 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:11,600 Speaker 1: can make it harder to form community, but it also 219 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:15,560 Speaker 1: makes it so much more worthwhile because fewer people have 220 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: that goal and achieving it is going to be so 221 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 1: much more sweet and such an amazing feeling. Obviously this 222 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 1: is not an exhaustive list. I honestly think that any 223 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: facet of our lives where we're perhaps not quite satisfied 224 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,680 Speaker 1: or fulfilled or would like to do better, can be 225 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 1: made into a goal. And sometimes the significance of a 226 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 1: new year, of a new leaf and new chapter, but 227 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 1: also the explicit kind of start date and point from 228 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,880 Speaker 1: which to track our progress can be a huge enabler 229 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: of our success. But let's now tackle the psychology behind 230 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: how we can and create realistic New As resolutions and 231 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: almost offer a bit of an equation for success so 232 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 1: that we can start twenty twenty three with the best 233 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves in mind. So we have explained some 234 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: of the history, the categories, the traditions behind New as resolutions, 235 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:30,520 Speaker 1: But now to the psychology. What is it about the 236 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: new year that causes us to have these elaborate and 237 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 1: grand expectations for ourselves to set these resolutions. I think 238 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 1: as humans we are naturally and innately very attuned to 239 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 1: self improvement. It is very much part of our complexity 240 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 1: and a unique aspect of our species that we have 241 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 1: this capacity to consider the future and ourselves within it, 242 00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 1: and with that we tend to imagine versions of ourselves 243 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: that do not yet exist, ones that might be better. 244 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 1: Because of this unique ability, we're able to set goals 245 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:15,800 Speaker 1: and objectives that lead to better versions of ourselves. That 246 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:20,400 Speaker 1: is the premise of New Year's resolutions. The idea, though 247 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 1: of a New Year's resolution, it tends to rest on 248 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: three fairly important psychological concepts. The first being personal development, 249 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: the second being self efficacy, and finally the idea of 250 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: social norms personal development. It's all about looking inward and 251 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 1: focusing on the ways to better yourself. It's so obvious 252 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: how that has a relationship to New Year's resolutions, but 253 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: essentially this focus allows us to increase our self awareness, 254 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 1: our self esteem, and to fulfill future aspirations that we 255 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: may have for our lives. When we make a New 256 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 1: Year's resolution, whatever it may be, we are channeling our 257 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 1: personal development and our focus on personal growth, and kind 258 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: of yeah, channeling that in a way that allows us 259 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: to be productive and to live a more fulfilled and 260 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 1: satisfying life. Without this ability, or the skills to reflect 261 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 1: inwards and upwards, we can remain fairly stagnant and unsatisfied 262 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,960 Speaker 1: with our lives, which is why the new year is 263 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 1: such an important time to make certain promises to ourselves, 264 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,240 Speaker 1: because they are focused on improving our lives in order 265 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 1: to enhance the overall quality. So even if we don't 266 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: fully realize our goals, the very act I think of 267 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: just reflecting on where we want to improve or where 268 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:53,240 Speaker 1: we want to be putting energy towards that is so 269 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,439 Speaker 1: valuable because Not only does it mean that we have 270 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,880 Speaker 1: a sense of the future and a sense of mean, 271 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: but we also have a desire to be better, which 272 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 1: is in itself a very inherently valuable idea to have. 273 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:13,360 Speaker 1: The second psychological concept that I think is perhaps even 274 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: more important to consider in the context of New Year's 275 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 1: resolutions is self efficacy. So self efficacy is at the 276 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:27,560 Speaker 1: very core, perhaps the central pillar to establishing goals for 277 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 1: ourselves in the new year. Essentially, it refers to our 278 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:37,080 Speaker 1: belief in our capacity to execute the behaviors necessary to 279 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: produce specific outcomes. So, just to break that down a 280 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:47,400 Speaker 1: little bit more, it essentially encompasses our confidence that our 281 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 1: behavior and our actions will be able to exert and 282 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 1: influence over our environment and over our future, so that 283 00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:02,200 Speaker 1: we can achieve our goals. Without efficacy, without this belief 284 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: in our ability to alter our lives, the idea of 285 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:11,000 Speaker 1: a new Year's resolution, it literally wouldn't exist. It wouldn't 286 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: be anything but wishful thinking. That is what distinguishes a 287 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: New Year's resolution from just, you know, a fantasy. It's 288 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 1: that acknowledgement that what we want for our lives will 289 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:27,360 Speaker 1: require our effort, and therefore this belief that our actions, 290 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,399 Speaker 1: our behaviors will actually have some influence over whether or 291 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:35,199 Speaker 1: not we achieve a certain goal. You know, without self efficacy, 292 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,200 Speaker 1: why why would we even try? There's no point trying. 293 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: I think virtually all people can identify some form of 294 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,399 Speaker 1: goal that they have. However, I think where we go 295 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:51,200 Speaker 1: wrong is that most of us don't always think about 296 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 1: the fact that putting these plans into action isn't as 297 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 1: simple as we think, and self efficacy is going to 298 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 1: play a major role and how we approach this goal 299 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 1: and how we approach this challenge. You know, people with 300 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: stronger self efficacy, they often recover really quickly from setbacks, 301 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 1: They make a plan, they view problems as something to 302 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 1: be mastered, and they really are a lot more invested 303 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 1: in their goals and they're invested in the activities that 304 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 1: they are required to do to achieve these goals. In contrast, 305 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 1: we see people who have lower or weaker self efficacy 306 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 1: tend to really avoid some of the challenging tasks and 307 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 1: behaviors that are required. They focus a lot on the 308 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: potential of failure and on the negative outcomes, and they 309 00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 1: quickly lose confidence in their personal abilities right like they 310 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 1: don't feel confident that they have the agency, they have 311 00:20:55,640 --> 00:21:02,120 Speaker 1: the strength, they have the skills necessary to achieve their goal. Obviously, 312 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:06,120 Speaker 1: if you have set an ambitious New Year's resolution, whatever 313 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,000 Speaker 1: it may be, a strong sense of self efficacy is 314 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: going to be a great asset to achieving this goal. 315 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:18,160 Speaker 1: And importantly, self efficacy it's not something you're born with, right, 316 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 1: It's actually something that you can develop and train within yourself. 317 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 1: And there are a few ways to do that. Firstly, 318 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: by celebrating your successes, by really consciously recognizing instances in 319 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 1: which you have been able to influence your destiny or 320 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 1: change an outcome, modeling and observing the behaviors and stories 321 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 1: of others, having those positive role models or mentors to 322 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,639 Speaker 1: kind of show you that this is possible. And another 323 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:55,199 Speaker 1: way is to seek out positive feedback and positive affirmations. Obviously, 324 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: when you hear positive feedback from others, that can really 325 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: help improve of your sense of self efficacy, and not 326 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,919 Speaker 1: only that, but your sense that you are actually achieving 327 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,159 Speaker 1: your goal, that it is recognizable from the perspective of 328 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: other people. You know, if your therapist tells you that 329 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:18,399 Speaker 1: you're doing a really good job at prioritizing your mental 330 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 1: health at setting boundaries. That's going to be so encouraging 331 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 1: and it's going to make you want to keep going. 332 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 1: But in contrast, and on the other hand, negative feedback 333 00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: negative comments can also have a pretty powerful undermining effect. 334 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 1: So be conscious about who you share your goals and 335 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 1: ambitions with. I don't think there is anything more demoralizing 336 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,320 Speaker 1: than someone telling you that what you're doing is not 337 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 1: worth it, or that you're going to fail. It's such 338 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,440 Speaker 1: a terrible, terrible feeling. So if you want to succeed, 339 00:22:55,920 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: you have to create a supportive environment that contains people 340 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,919 Speaker 1: who really believe in your abilities and they believe in 341 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:09,280 Speaker 1: your success. Finally, making a New Year's resolution, it's somewhat 342 00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,679 Speaker 1: of a social norm these days, right, like a social 343 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 1: norm being these kind of informal rules or expectations that 344 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 1: we have. It's very much influenced by what we see 345 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 1: other people doing. It gets to December early January and 346 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,000 Speaker 1: people start talking about their New Year's resolutions, and we 347 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: feel like we should probably have a few of our own. 348 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,200 Speaker 1: This is not a bad thing at all. In fact, 349 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,320 Speaker 1: I think it's one of the more positive social norms 350 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 1: that we've discussed on the show. Because, as we said, 351 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:43,199 Speaker 1: the primary reason for setting this kind of goal at 352 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: the start of the year is for self growth. So 353 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,159 Speaker 1: as long as we're not harming anyone, they seem to 354 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 1: be overall a pretty positive thing. Well at least that's 355 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,000 Speaker 1: what we think is the case. But it might actually 356 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:02,720 Speaker 1: be that New Year's resolution are neither positive or negative, 357 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 1: especially when we consider how many of us and how 358 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:11,719 Speaker 1: many of our resolutions end up failing. And that is 359 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: what I want to discuss next. Why is it that 360 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,880 Speaker 1: so many of our ambitions for the new year end 361 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: up being forgotten by the second or third week of January. 362 00:24:30,359 --> 00:24:34,560 Speaker 1: Every year, in early January, millions and millions of us 363 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 1: resolve to change something about our lives, change something about 364 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 1: our behavior, whether it is to get really fit, to 365 00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: eat better, to save money, spend more time with our friends, 366 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,399 Speaker 1: whatever it is. There is no denying that most of 367 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,200 Speaker 1: us have something in mind that we want to change 368 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:59,400 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty three. Here is the sad reality, though 369 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 1: for most of us, these New Year's resolutions are going 370 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 1: to fall by the wayside within a few weeks. The 371 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 1: best example I think of this the early failure of 372 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:15,199 Speaker 1: many resolutions is thinking about how busy your gym is 373 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:19,400 Speaker 1: in the first weeks of January, yet by February they're 374 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:23,199 Speaker 1: normally back to usual. That's because we often get wrapped 375 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,760 Speaker 1: up in the excitement of setting the resolution, of imagining 376 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,399 Speaker 1: the outcome without realizing how much commitment it can take. 377 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:36,479 Speaker 1: The easiest step to making a news resolution is telling 378 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,639 Speaker 1: yourself that you're going to do it. Is making that 379 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:44,119 Speaker 1: promise and imagining the success, imagining your future body, or 380 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:49,719 Speaker 1: your future financial situation, or your amazing life, especially in 381 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 1: that moment before we actually have to do some of 382 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:58,959 Speaker 1: the work. It is very easy to fantasize, but for 383 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,199 Speaker 1: anyone who's actually set a New Year's resolution, it's a 384 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 1: lot harder to actually achieve that goal because it requires 385 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 1: often a lot of tedious and persistent work. I don't 386 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,520 Speaker 1: really think it's even a goal right if it's easy 387 00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,600 Speaker 1: to achieve. That's part of the allure of New Year's 388 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: resolutions is that they are really large and grand and significant, 389 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 1: and they require that significance of the new year in 390 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 1: order to begin. There are quite a few reasons they 391 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 1: want to discuss as to why it's so difficult to 392 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 1: stick to our year's resolutions, and many of these explanations 393 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:44,920 Speaker 1: have some pretty fascinating psychology attached. Firstly, a large amount 394 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,800 Speaker 1: of our daily behaviors tend to be motivated by what 395 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 1: we see is unconscious and automatic habits that have in 396 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,680 Speaker 1: many ways been ingrained in us since our childhood, since 397 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:03,359 Speaker 1: our teenage years. We unconsciously reach for the same types 398 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: of food, we wake up at the same time, we 399 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,320 Speaker 1: see the same people, we use the same forms of transport, 400 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 1: because these actions and these behaviors have become so habitual, 401 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,879 Speaker 1: and it makes it really difficult to change. And over time, 402 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 1: these repetitive ways of behaving tend to become very much 403 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:29,320 Speaker 1: automatically queued by the situations that we're in, and they're 404 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:35,239 Speaker 1: completely independent from our deliberate thought processes. So much of 405 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,840 Speaker 1: what we do on a day to day basis we 406 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:42,000 Speaker 1: do without thinking. When we set a news resolution, though, 407 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 1: that is a very deliberate, a very conscious action, a 408 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:51,440 Speaker 1: very conscious thought, and it can be really difficult to 409 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 1: integrate this conscious and deliberate thing we want to achieve 410 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,199 Speaker 1: into our daily lives and into our daily lives that 411 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: are filled with automatic behaviors and unconscious habits because they 412 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,639 Speaker 1: are so hard to integrate, and because a lot of 413 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 1: our resolutions often require almost rewriting or rewiring our automatic behaviors. 414 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:20,320 Speaker 1: It takes a lot of conscious energy to uphold these resolutions, 415 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:25,359 Speaker 1: which is why they often fail. This explains why achieving 416 00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 1: our New Year's resolutions it's not just about pure determination. 417 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,879 Speaker 1: It's not just about how much you want it. The 418 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 1: act of achieving any goal requires a lot of intense, 419 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 1: concentrated energy, and more than that, it requires rewriting unconscious 420 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 1: behaviors you've probably followed for years and years and years. 421 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,360 Speaker 1: Often we don't really map out or think about what 422 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,640 Speaker 1: it's going to take to accomplish a goal, and instead 423 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: we rely very much so on that excitement of the 424 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,240 Speaker 1: new year as a thing that's going to push us 425 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 1: to accomplish this goal. This buzz, this excitement, this expectation, 426 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: and then that buzz wears off, or maybe you realize 427 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:15,400 Speaker 1: that actually you've set a few unrealistic expectations for yourself. 428 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,479 Speaker 1: For example, you know, if you've decided that twenty twenty 429 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:23,440 Speaker 1: three you're going to run a marathon, and you've bought 430 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:28,360 Speaker 1: tickets for a race in April, it's highly unlikely that 431 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 1: you're going to do that. You really set yourself up 432 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 1: to fail because you haven't been honest or realistic with yourself. 433 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:44,800 Speaker 1: The cycle of making and subsequently breaking resolutions, it boils 434 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 1: down to one core issue or concept, and that is honesty. 435 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 1: Being honest with yourself about what it is you want, 436 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,239 Speaker 1: why you want to achieve it, and how achievable it is. 437 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 1: So before you set your resolution for twenty twenty three, 438 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: it's really important to ask yourself some of those core 439 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,760 Speaker 1: questions and be honest with yourself in answering them. Why 440 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 1: is it that this goal is important to you and 441 00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: how do you imagine it's going to make your life better? 442 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:25,160 Speaker 1: Really really think about that. Is the outcome of your resolution? 443 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 1: Is it going to be enough to motivate you to 444 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 1: do the things that you need to do, and is 445 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 1: that final end goal something that is achievable? Honestly, It's 446 00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 1: also important to reflect on the times when you've tried 447 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: in the past to achieve this thing or to pursue 448 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: this change and what went wrong. You know, maybe last 449 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 1: year you wanted to wake up at seven am every day, 450 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 1: but you didn't think about the fact that you work 451 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 1: a nine to five or that a lot of your 452 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 1: socializing happens in the evening. So think about why you failed. 453 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: Think about what it woe is about your environment, about 454 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: your surroundings that made it difficult to accomplish this goal. 455 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: We often, you know, set lofty goals for the future 456 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 1: without seriously and honestly assessing why we've probably struggled in 457 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 1: the past, and without examining where we are resistant to change. 458 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 1: That cycle of that, you know, that cycle of excitement 459 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:26,240 Speaker 1: and resolve and then failure continues to repeat. It's also 460 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,000 Speaker 1: really important to be honest about what else is going 461 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: to have to change in your life to meet your 462 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 1: goal and to meet your resolution. We often think about 463 00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:39,840 Speaker 1: our New Year's resolutions as a pretty isolated desire or 464 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 1: an isolated dream, without recognizing the lifestyle change that they 465 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: are going to require. The one I always think of 466 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 1: is the new year's resolution to quit drinking. And that's 467 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 1: one of mine for this year, quitting you know, to 468 00:31:54,920 --> 00:32:00,120 Speaker 1: quit drinking, quitting alcohol. It sounds simple enough, right you 469 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: You just say no, you just don't drink, And when 470 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 1: you think about it on an individual basis, when you're 471 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 1: home by yourself, it sounds pretty achievable, right, It sounds 472 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 1: fairly simple. But then you have to think about it 473 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,680 Speaker 1: in terms of the other contexts in our lives in 474 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 1: which alcohol is present and how much it tends to 475 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 1: dominate social occasions and celebrations. Are you going to be 476 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,920 Speaker 1: okay with not drinking during these times or maybe missing 477 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,239 Speaker 1: out because of this choice? And are you going to 478 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 1: be able to make the changes to your overall lifestyle 479 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:42,400 Speaker 1: to enact this goal. By asking ourselves these questions and 480 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:46,640 Speaker 1: also answering them honestly, we're actually setting ourselves up for 481 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:51,560 Speaker 1: success because we can alter our resolutions and be more 482 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,320 Speaker 1: realistic from the get go, and therefore more likely to succeed. 483 00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,000 Speaker 1: There are, of course, some other reasons why we typically 484 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 1: fail our news solutions. Just to list off a couple, 485 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 1: sometimes we just lack accountability. You know, it's very easy 486 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 1: to fail if the only person you're going to disappoint 487 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:14,880 Speaker 1: is yourself. Sometimes our goal doesn't allow for small winds, 488 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,520 Speaker 1: so we give up because we don't see any progress. 489 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:22,360 Speaker 1: Maybe it is a lack of planning, or the stakes 490 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 1: are just too low, And sometimes it's just about self 491 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 1: doubt and not believing that we're able to do them. 492 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: We're not able to achieve what we set our minds 493 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 1: to with all of that in mind, I really want 494 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,560 Speaker 1: to turn to our final point for this episode, and 495 00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:44,800 Speaker 1: perhaps the most significant, how can we actually be successful 496 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 1: with all of this information and knowledge in mind? What 497 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 1: can we learn from our failures so that we can 498 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:55,600 Speaker 1: see through our resolutions we can make the change that 499 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:59,560 Speaker 1: we want to in our lives. Luckily for us, there 500 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,719 Speaker 1: is quite a lot of research on this, and so 501 00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 1: I've gathered a few tips for us to all share 502 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:13,600 Speaker 1: and to hopefully learn from. Firstly, start small, creating smaller 503 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,960 Speaker 1: goals that are practical and don't restrict you too much. 504 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,920 Speaker 1: It's going to be so much more achievable because those 505 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 1: goals and the actions required to meet them and not 506 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,680 Speaker 1: going to disrupt your life as much. Think about all 507 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:29,720 Speaker 1: of those automatic behaviors that we were talking about before. 508 00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: Undermining them and rewriting them takes a lot of effort. 509 00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 1: But if we start out small, you know, maybe by 510 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,200 Speaker 1: initially trying to exercise just for five minutes out of 511 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,880 Speaker 1: the day, of just trying to replace certain foods that 512 00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,239 Speaker 1: are making us feel unwell, it's a lot easier to 513 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,720 Speaker 1: integrate into our lives rather than trying to completely shift 514 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:55,319 Speaker 1: our lifestyle overnight. These resolutions will also be easier for 515 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,720 Speaker 1: you to stick to because you're not going to feel 516 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,600 Speaker 1: like you're missing out, and you'll still be able to 517 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,799 Speaker 1: move closer to your big goal. Sometimes I think we 518 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 1: get so excited and we are so impatient that we 519 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,560 Speaker 1: just rush to the finish line, and what ends up 520 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,920 Speaker 1: happening is that it's not very sustainable and be it. 521 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:16,360 Speaker 1: We just end up failing because any kind of massive 522 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:21,040 Speaker 1: life change is going to take so much energy. Similar 523 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,280 Speaker 1: to this is ensuring that your goals are clearly defined. 524 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,400 Speaker 1: I think often we set these very big, sweeping goals 525 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:32,239 Speaker 1: and we make these big statements like I want to 526 00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: be healthier, or I want to make new friends, or 527 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:41,280 Speaker 1: I want to be more successful. But unfortunately those goals, 528 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:46,160 Speaker 1: as amazing as they sound, they're not very clear and 529 00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:49,480 Speaker 1: it's hard to hold yourself accountable if you don't really 530 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:53,720 Speaker 1: have a vision or an idea of success in mind. 531 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,920 Speaker 1: So making sure that you know exactly what it is 532 00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 1: you're working for you create a resolution that you can 533 00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,840 Speaker 1: actionably see when you're getting closer to the end outcome 534 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,960 Speaker 1: is going to really help you. In a similar Vein 535 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 1: to both of those things, I think also limiting yourself 536 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:14,919 Speaker 1: to a few resolutions. Maybe just one is also going 537 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,960 Speaker 1: to be really really helpful and really enable your success. 538 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,760 Speaker 1: It's really tempting to do these big to do lists 539 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,879 Speaker 1: and to have all these really insane expectations for what 540 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,400 Speaker 1: we're capable of doing. Maybe you're someone who can handle 541 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:35,320 Speaker 1: that amount of pressure and that many things on your mind, 542 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,280 Speaker 1: but most of us can't really focus on a huge 543 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,360 Speaker 1: list at once. It's better to break it down and 544 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,160 Speaker 1: too maybe just one or two, one or two goals 545 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,960 Speaker 1: that we really want to achieve, and that way we're 546 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,759 Speaker 1: not as easily overwhelmed and as frustrated, and we can 547 00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 1: integrate those goals into our life a bit better. If 548 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,680 Speaker 1: we've decided, you know, I want to exercise more, and 549 00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,359 Speaker 1: then I want to eat better, and then I want 550 00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 1: to be more sustainable, and I want to spend money better. 551 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,840 Speaker 1: That is a lot. That is a lot, So maybe 552 00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 1: try and find a goal that links all of them. 553 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:13,640 Speaker 1: Like walking to work that is sustainable. It's a great exercise, 554 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,359 Speaker 1: and it saves you money because you don't have to 555 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,960 Speaker 1: pay for petrol or pay for transport. Another few tips 556 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 1: that I kind of gathered was to be realistic. I 557 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:26,160 Speaker 1: think we've talked about that already find community and with 558 00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 1: that accountability. If your goal is shared, you're able to 559 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,880 Speaker 1: relate to others who are going through similar things or 560 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:39,359 Speaker 1: facing similar setbacks. And also you feel accountable and you're 561 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:43,000 Speaker 1: excited to pursue the goal because you have community surrounding it. 562 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 1: Find a way to track your progress and see the 563 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,480 Speaker 1: small wins. When we set a big goal and it's 564 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,359 Speaker 1: in the future and it's going to take a lot 565 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,680 Speaker 1: for us to get there, we can become disheartened quite 566 00:37:55,719 --> 00:38:00,120 Speaker 1: easily because we don't see any output from our efforts. 567 00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,480 Speaker 1: To find a way to track your progress or to 568 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:08,080 Speaker 1: give yourself some small winds to motivate you along the way. 569 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,200 Speaker 1: One way that I do this is I create kind 570 00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:14,719 Speaker 1: of like a visual vision board or a resource to 571 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,920 Speaker 1: think about what I want to achieve and why, and 572 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:22,080 Speaker 1: it helps me keep focused and really visualize the outcome 573 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,200 Speaker 1: that I want and why I want it. It's been 574 00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,320 Speaker 1: so helpful. I do this at the start of most years, 575 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,920 Speaker 1: where I create like a bit of a collage about 576 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,879 Speaker 1: where I see my year going. It's firstly a really 577 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,080 Speaker 1: great way to reflect and see what it is that 578 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,399 Speaker 1: I've realized about that, but it also makes it really 579 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,080 Speaker 1: clear to me about what it is I'm working towards, 580 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,520 Speaker 1: and I don't lose sight in all the chaos of 581 00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:51,320 Speaker 1: our day to day lives. Finally, it's so important to 582 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:57,000 Speaker 1: be mindful, take responsibility for your actions, and to stay committed, 583 00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,399 Speaker 1: but also not get too wrapped up in one goal, right. 584 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,279 Speaker 1: You want your life to be enjoyable, and often if 585 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 1: you put all your eggs in one basket, if you're 586 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:09,320 Speaker 1: too dedicated, if you go about it really intensely, you're 587 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,600 Speaker 1: not going to be successful because you're just going to 588 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:16,160 Speaker 1: be exhausted and you're going to lose motivation really really fast. 589 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,680 Speaker 1: So start with a picture of your future self in mind. 590 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 1: Make that image big and bright, Imagine what it feels like, 591 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,839 Speaker 1: Imagine how you feel, and hold that really deeply. Hold 592 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,319 Speaker 1: onto it as a daily reminder for what you are 593 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:34,040 Speaker 1: working for and why you're working towards. That change your 594 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,600 Speaker 1: phone background or something about your environment that reminds you 595 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:42,120 Speaker 1: of your goal every day. I saw this really interesting quote. 596 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:46,120 Speaker 1: I think it's a great thing to share to end up. 597 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:50,200 Speaker 1: To wrap up this episode, winners and losers have the 598 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:55,600 Speaker 1: same goals. It's all about who is most consistent. You're 599 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,759 Speaker 1: allowed to have setbacks, You're allowed to have failures, but 600 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,120 Speaker 1: if you keep working at it day by day, you 601 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 1: just aim to be one percent better every day. It's 602 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,359 Speaker 1: going to be achievable. And I wish you the best 603 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:10,840 Speaker 1: of luck. I hope that you're successful. How amazing to 604 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,920 Speaker 1: be setting new Year's resolutions. I am so excited for 605 00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 1: the new year and all that's going to come with it. 606 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,560 Speaker 1: It's going to be a big year for the podcast 607 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 1: and I cannot thank you enough for supporting me throughout 608 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,280 Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. So thank you to all the new listeners, 609 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:28,040 Speaker 1: to everyone who shared, everyone who's messaged me and followed me. 610 00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:32,240 Speaker 1: I am so grateful and I cannot wait to push 611 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:35,400 Speaker 1: this even further and do so many amazing things in 612 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 1: the new year. If you enjoyed this episode, if you 613 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,520 Speaker 1: think that other people would enjoy it as well, please 614 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:46,320 Speaker 1: feel free to leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, 615 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,400 Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts. It really helps the show 616 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:52,279 Speaker 1: to grow and to reach new people. So if you 617 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,320 Speaker 1: feel called to do so, it makes a huge difference. 618 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,279 Speaker 1: And yeah, I would love I'd be very grateful if 619 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:01,960 Speaker 1: you would do that. And if you're interested in seeing 620 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,319 Speaker 1: more of my content. Please follow our Instagram at that 621 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,400 Speaker 1: Psychology Podcast. Often I let listeners of the show decide 622 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,560 Speaker 1: the episodes that I published for the week, So if 623 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:15,600 Speaker 1: that is something you are interested in, please give us 624 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,560 Speaker 1: a follow and participate in the community that way. Thank 625 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,040 Speaker 1: you again for listening. Good luck. If you've set a 626 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,920 Speaker 1: new Year's resolution, I'm sure you're going to do amazing 627 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,520 Speaker 1: and I will see you next week for a new episode.