Speaker 1: Hey everyone, Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one
Speaker 1: health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every
Speaker 1: one of you that come back every week to listen, learn,
Speaker 1: and grow Now. Last month we put out an episode,
Speaker 1: a special one with my friend Lewis House, where we
Speaker 1: dived into relationships. We talked about whether it was possible
Speaker 1: to be with one person for your entire life, and
Speaker 1: whether you could really truly know someone deeply with very
Speaker 1: little time with them. Now this month we talked about
Speaker 1: another fascinating topic. Maybe you grew up with some thoughts
Speaker 1: around money, like money is the root of all evil,
Speaker 1: or maybe you grew up with a thought that money
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Now we had a really fascinating conversation about
Speaker 1: whether you can have money and be spiritual, whether you
Speaker 1: can be doing good in the world and doing good
Speaker 1: for yourself. If you're someone who's ever been in that
Speaker 1: dilemma or been in that challenge, or even if I
Speaker 1: had some complicated relationship with money, I think this episode
Speaker 1: is going to be huge for you, so make sure
Speaker 1: you listen to this one share it with a friend too.
Speaker 1: I think we have so many issues around a mindset
Speaker 1: around money, which creates so many issues in our life
Speaker 1: with money. I hope you enjoy it. Me and Jay
Speaker 1: are here and a year ago, Jay and I were
Speaker 1: having conversations and we said, wouldn't they be interesting if
Speaker 1: we do a new series where Jay's got one of
Speaker 1: the biggest shows in the world. I've been doing my
Speaker 1: show for a long time, and we said, what if
Speaker 1: it could come together and do a different topic, a
Speaker 1: different theme, a different style of conversation where we're typically
Speaker 1: interviewing other people. And I said, let's create something where
Speaker 1: it's like awkward conversations or awkward therapy right where neither
Speaker 1: of us are therapists, but Jay has this incredible background
Speaker 1: from being a monk and really being a meditator for
Speaker 1: a long time in your life and having the mindset
Speaker 1: of this monk mindset, where I have the more of
Speaker 1: the athlete mindset, playing sports my whole life at a
Speaker 1: high level. And we said, what if we could bring
Speaker 1: our real world experience from these different perspectives come together
Speaker 1: and answer kind of challenging questions that we get a
Speaker 1: lot from our different audiences. And so we're creating this
Speaker 1: is part one of Awkward Therapy, and we've been trying
Speaker 1: to make this happen for a year. Now we're finally here.
Speaker 1: So what's the first question that we are going to answer,
Speaker 1: the first topic that you think we should really dive
Speaker 1: into it. I was going to stop Lewis though, by
Speaker 1: saying that the thing I love about this is we
Speaker 1: have these conversations anyway the time, all the time time.
Speaker 1: And so for those of you that don't know me
Speaker 1: and Lewis always make sure that we see to that
Speaker 1: at least once a month to have dinner together, go
Speaker 1: on a hike, hang out, and that will inevitably turn
Speaker 1: into this it's four hour conversation, conversation about life. Yes,
Speaker 1: and we just thought, how cool would it be to
Speaker 1: have those conversations that are uncomfortable, that are pressing on
Speaker 1: taboo topics, that are a bit thought provoking, pushing on
Speaker 1: the side of like, oh, that feels really awkward and
Speaker 1: uncomfortable because I think that people are thinking this but
Speaker 1: they don't have a place to say it. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: we and we say to each other and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if we could say this outside of
Speaker 1: this private conversation, or if we're gonna get a lot
Speaker 1: of backlash, or maybe I shouldn't have said that, Jay,
Speaker 1: you know, these these conversations that it's just like, how
Speaker 1: can we create a safe environment to have open conversations
Speaker 1: a level emmanual Acho has done with his conversations with
Speaker 1: a black man. Right, It's like, these kind of uncomfortable conversations.
Speaker 1: How can we just put these things out there and
Speaker 1: be open minded to it, not be so judgmental or critical.
Speaker 1: There's no right or wrong. But we're going to come
Speaker 1: together and have conversations to try to figure out some
Speaker 1: solutions to some of these bigger questions that a lot
Speaker 1: of people have. Yes, And obviously you've done a lot
Speaker 1: of work on your own, and you've interviewed and are
Speaker 1: friends with a lot of top elite individuals in different
Speaker 1: waks of life, myself as well, and so we wanted
Speaker 1: to bring it together and see where we can come
Speaker 1: up with. I love it. I'm excited. I'm very excited.
Speaker 1: We've been trying to make this happen for a year.
Speaker 1: So this is Awkward Therapy, Part one, and the first
Speaker 1: topic of discussion is what Yeah, So the first question
Speaker 1: that we're going to address today is can you be
Speaker 1: aspiring to be wealthy or make money and be spiritual
Speaker 1: at the same time. Yes, that's the first question. And
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people growing up, I think
Speaker 1: both of us probably growing up had these limits around
Speaker 1: people who had money and thinking are they good or
Speaker 1: bad people? Are they controlling? Are they mean to people?
Speaker 1: You know, if you have money, can you be a
Speaker 1: good person or have some spiritualness to you? Or is
Speaker 1: it only one or the other. You can either be
Speaker 1: mother Teresa and serve you know, you can only be
Speaker 1: ju and washed with people's feet in the you know,
Speaker 1: humble or your this money hungry individual, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that when I was growing up, at
Speaker 1: least I grew up in an environment where the people
Speaker 1: around me believed that if someone was wealthy, or someone
Speaker 1: was rich, that they must have done something dodgy or
Speaker 1: bad to get there, like illegal or sketchy or yeah
Speaker 1: it must be yeah, sketchy or illegal activities. Or they
Speaker 1: must have stabbed someone in the back, or they must
Speaker 1: have hurt someone, or they must be taking advantage of
Speaker 1: someone or manipulating someone, using, abusing, that's the only way
Speaker 1: they could have got there. And generally the idea that
Speaker 1: we all know of that money is the root of
Speaker 1: all evil. I think that was something that I was
Speaker 1: exposed to a lot as a child where a lot
Speaker 1: of people around me believed that, And we weren't wealthy,
Speaker 1: so we weren't in a position of financial strength. And
Speaker 1: often my extended family and others would look to people
Speaker 1: with wealth and if we would admire that or see something,
Speaker 1: they would be quick to like gampen that and be
Speaker 1: like no, no, no, no no, no, they they you know,
Speaker 1: they just do all this kind of stuff. And so
Speaker 1: I think there was always that negative view towards people
Speaker 1: who are rich? How do we how do we get
Speaker 1: to a place? So should we admire people that are wealthy?
Speaker 1: Should we? Should we look to that and say, it's
Speaker 1: really cool what they've built. Should we admire the accomplishment
Speaker 1: of amassing a ton of wealth? Or should we? Or
Speaker 1: is that not something to admire? As you always ask
Speaker 1: the best question this is like you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Do you admire the results? For you admire the person
Speaker 1: they've become on the journey of accomplishing the results and
Speaker 1: how they the actions they had in order to get there.
Speaker 1: So this is my an interview Lewis. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make you out yes, And first I want to hear
Speaker 1: you all that I think this is interesting because I
Speaker 1: was going to ask you about it. No, I was
Speaker 1: going to have a conversation about out how you first,
Speaker 1: because I remember having this conversation years ago with you
Speaker 1: where you never thought that like making money was for you.
Speaker 1: You were just like struggling in New York City trying
Speaker 1: to make it and kind of live like months by
Speaker 1: month in a sense. And you told me you kind
Speaker 1: of had this limit around can I be spiritual and
Speaker 1: make a lot of money? Can I serve the world,
Speaker 1: make you know, wisdom go viral? And also is it
Speaker 1: okay to receive money? Is it okay to like charge
Speaker 1: what I'm worth or charge more for my services? So
Speaker 1: I remember having this conversation with you, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I vaguely remember what I said. I said, you know,
Speaker 1: I think you're doing a disservice to yourself by not
Speaker 1: generating more to be able to then hire more people
Speaker 1: to scale this message beyond. So you're not putting all
Speaker 1: the weight on your shoulders to be able to invest
Speaker 1: in more nutrition and food and comfortable sleeping space for yourself,
Speaker 1: all that stuff, so you can serve at a greater level.
Speaker 1: And so I think I'm answering the question. Whereas like,
Speaker 1: I think, if you're doing your life and you're being
Speaker 1: in service and being the best you can be as
Speaker 1: kind as possible to people on that journey, then I
Speaker 1: think it's both admirable and it's cool to see what
Speaker 1: you could create financially as well with the impact you're
Speaker 1: creating in the world. But it's all about how you
Speaker 1: show up on the day to day, how you treat
Speaker 1: people in the journey of amassing the wealth. I think that.
Speaker 1: But if you've generated a lot of money, but you've
Speaker 1: been in a jerk, or you haven't been in service
Speaker 1: except for to yourself only, then that's not something to
Speaker 1: admire as a whole man perspective. Yeah, yeah, that's my thought.
Speaker 1: I think that's beautiful. I love that and I remember
Speaker 1: that conversation as well. And I want to go back
Speaker 1: to that question you asked though, because it's such a
Speaker 1: it's such a powerful question that should we admire people
Speaker 1: who are wealthy? And I think we have to be
Speaker 1: careful about what we admire because what you admire will
Speaker 1: be what your actions aspire towards. So you'll start taking
Speaker 1: on those actions correct, You'll start taking actions and behaviors
Speaker 1: and decisions towards what you admire. And so I would
Speaker 1: say that I've always admired people who had a purpose.
Speaker 1: That's what I admire deeply when I meet someone, I say,
Speaker 1: there's two things that I admire, purpose and humility. If
Speaker 1: I meet someone who has purpose, they're willing to sacrifice,
Speaker 1: They're willing to do whatever it takes. They are mission driven,
Speaker 1: they want to serve the world. It's why I was
Speaker 1: always a fan of Viewers from before we even met
Speaker 1: and we knew each other, because I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: here's a person who really wants to do good in
Speaker 1: the world. Here's a person who really wants to give
Speaker 1: And so I think that's the first thing I look for.
Speaker 1: And then the second thing I deeply admire is someone
Speaker 1: who has humilities, someone who I feel that they were
Speaker 1: really doing it from the goodness of their hearts. So
Speaker 1: I think for me, my admiration has always been for
Speaker 1: those two things. And I don't think I can tell
Speaker 1: someone whether what they admire is right or wrong. But
Speaker 1: I would say that if you admire something, your actions
Speaker 1: are going to start dictating your journey in that direction, right,
Speaker 1: And so you have to be careful what you admire,
Speaker 1: because that's what you're going to chase, right And so
Speaker 1: I would say that I like admiring purpose and humility
Speaker 1: because I think they are worthy of a pursuit. Sure,
Speaker 1: who are some people that we could think about, you know,
Speaker 1: who have a mass a lot of money, but also
Speaker 1: we feel like our purpose driven and in service to
Speaker 1: whatever their gift is. Who are some people that we
Speaker 1: can think about. Yeah, I wasn't thinking about this beforehand,
Speaker 1: but I'm just curious about who is living that lifestyle
Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, that's and that's a tough question. And
Speaker 1: I think I mean, i'd say we know, we know
Speaker 1: a few people in our own world. I think people
Speaker 1: that I've I've always admired and looked up to. Anyone
Speaker 1: from that, I'd say, that's a hard question. There are
Speaker 1: there are people like coming to my mind right now,
Speaker 1: but I'd probably say that I think Oprah's work has
Speaker 1: been phenomenal, like the conversation she's had that have shifted
Speaker 1: culture or shifted humanity on her TV show, because she's
Speaker 1: brought in an entertainment you know, TV show, but brought
Speaker 1: in the elements of healing, of prayer, of meditation, of
Speaker 1: spirituality of you know, creating consciousness in the planet, which
Speaker 1: I think is powerful. So she's bringing purpose to entertainment
Speaker 1: and she's built a massive empire. Financially. Eve been rewarded
Speaker 1: for that service exactly, exactly, and I think that's a
Speaker 1: great thing. I think that's the reason why I find
Speaker 1: this question so interesting, because if we're saying that spiritual
Speaker 1: people can't be rich, that means that spiritual people have
Speaker 1: to be poor. That means all the people that are
Speaker 1: rich are not spiritual. Right, is that the world we
Speaker 1: want to live in? If we want to live in
Speaker 1: a world where the wealthiest people or the most externally
Speaker 1: people who have the most resources are people who don't
Speaker 1: have spiritual intention, I don't know if that's the world
Speaker 1: I want my kids to grow up in or the
Speaker 1: world that I want to live in. I would rather
Speaker 1: grow up in a world where the most influential people
Speaker 1: had a deep spiritual intention. Yes, and with that spiritual intention,
Speaker 1: they were there. I guess we're rewarded financially for their
Speaker 1: level of impact and service. The challenge, The interesting thing
Speaker 1: is if you have that much humility, and you have
Speaker 1: that much spiritual intention towards your life and service. Does
Speaker 1: the money matter? Yeah? Does it does it matter as
Speaker 1: much like the more you earn, and does it really
Speaker 1: impact the individual's life if they have a million dollars
Speaker 1: or one hundred million dollars. That's the interesting thing also, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm interested in hearing your point because the
Speaker 1: perspective you gave to me a few years ago when
Speaker 1: when you brought up that point, like I remember having
Speaker 1: like hundreds of millions of views and four months away
Speaker 1: from being broke, and it's yeah, and it was really true.
Speaker 1: Like I would say in meetings and people will be like,
Speaker 1: how many of years have you had now? And I
Speaker 1: would share that, and I was getting all this incredible feedback,
Speaker 1: and then I didn't have any money and I was
Speaker 1: literally gonna be broken four months. And what I realized
Speaker 1: was that that was negatively impacting the amount of impact
Speaker 1: I could have sustainably long term. And it's what you
Speaker 1: said to me that what if you're making money, but
Speaker 1: then you're investing that in your team. What if you're
Speaker 1: expanding and creating more opportunity like today, what we have
Speaker 1: teams across the world. You have your team here, I
Speaker 1: have my teams who are also living their purpose and
Speaker 1: we can only employ them because there's growth in this
Speaker 1: regard and then they're getting to have a deeper impact.
Speaker 1: So to me, it depends on what scale of impact
Speaker 1: you want to have, Like yeah, And I think also
Speaker 1: spirituality for me as harmony. It's having peace and inner peace.
Speaker 1: And if you're financially stuck, or you're financially struggling, or
Speaker 1: you feel trapped in financial debt and confusion of financial
Speaker 1: aspect of your life, then I feel like that's holding
Speaker 1: you back from your spiritual progress. So it's figuring out
Speaker 1: how to have harmony and balance in these areas of
Speaker 1: your life and your relationships and your health and your finances.
Speaker 1: For me, it's so key and going deeper spiritually in
Speaker 1: all of those. So they're all abundant. Yes, if one
Speaker 1: is not abundant, then are you maximizing your spiritual capacities
Speaker 1: of this lifetime? And so I think it's and I
Speaker 1: think so many of us grew up thinking that money
Speaker 1: was the root of valuable or people with money were
Speaker 1: bad or this and this whatever we thought of. But
Speaker 1: I think it's time to start changing the narrative and saying, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to use money for good, and how can
Speaker 1: I make a commitment to myself to use some of
Speaker 1: my money to be in service of other people, not
Speaker 1: just all for myself or needing the flashy cars or things.
Speaker 1: We both like nice things. You like fashion and experiences.
Speaker 1: I love travel and adventure and healthy foods and investing
Speaker 1: in that. You know, we take care of our health.
Speaker 1: We have trainers and nutritionists these things. I think it's
Speaker 1: important so we have more energy and capacity to be
Speaker 1: of service. So I don't think there's anything wrong personally
Speaker 1: with making a lot of money or having focus on
Speaker 1: profit and purpose. But I think you want to have
Speaker 1: both so you can scale both. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: people who are so well intended who have big missions
Speaker 1: but don't know how to make money to serve their mission,
Speaker 1: and they're doing a disservice to their cause because they
Speaker 1: haven't figured out the skill of copyrighting or enrolling people
Speaker 1: in fundraising or sales, or some skill to bring in
Speaker 1: revenue to support the cause or the mission. And I
Speaker 1: think that's where a lot of nonprofits struggle with the
Speaker 1: years they're not thinking about all these other things they
Speaker 1: have to do to serve Yeah. Yeah, And I like
Speaker 1: that because I also want to clarify that for someone
Speaker 1: who is spiritual, or is conscious or is a whatever
Speaker 1: word you want to use, or even is in focused
Speaker 1: on personal growth or self development, their goal is not profit.
Speaker 1: Their goal is their purpose, their mission, their service. But
Speaker 1: they recognize that this is something that they have to
Speaker 1: think about and organize around in order to serve the purpose.
Speaker 1: So I think it's more about what's your top priority. Like,
Speaker 1: you don't wake up in the morning every day going
Speaker 1: how can I make more money today? Like that's not
Speaker 1: the mindset. You wake up in the morning going how
Speaker 1: can we serve more people? How can we have a
Speaker 1: greater impact? How can we help more people? And you
Speaker 1: realize that creating a profitable business or income is a
Speaker 1: part of that purpose. And I think that's the clarity
Speaker 1: that we need. Yeah, our measurement for our company is
Speaker 1: to serve one hundred million lives weekly to help them
Speaker 1: improve the quality of their life. Exactly. It's not to
Speaker 1: make X amounts, it's not to make a one hundred
Speaker 1: million dollars a year. But in the okay, how do
Speaker 1: we solve this this mission equation, which is we want
Speaker 1: to reach one hundred million lives weekly? What does that
Speaker 1: take well, most of it is through video right now,
Speaker 1: video through audio content, through social media, through books, through
Speaker 1: these different ways to scale a message. Right a different
Speaker 1: way to scale a message which takes money, resources, and
Speaker 1: a team to execute on these different challenges in business
Speaker 1: to reach that mission. And so it's thinking, Okay, we
Speaker 1: need more people to support on the team. That's going
Speaker 1: to take more money. So how do we make the
Speaker 1: money to hire people to serve the mission? And through
Speaker 1: the process of figuring out the purpose equation, how to
Speaker 1: solve that purpose conversation, then you need to figure out
Speaker 1: money that's tied to it. Yes, And I also want
Speaker 1: to make that point that you have to be really
Speaker 1: vigilant on this path so that you don't buy into
Speaker 1: your own hype. In the sense of it, you can
Speaker 1: convince yourself of anything, and you could convince yourself that
Speaker 1: you're serving people and you're doing this and doing that,
Speaker 1: and then you make loads of money and then you
Speaker 1: just convince yourself that it's all okay. And so, yes,
Speaker 1: you have to be more vigilant on this path. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's fair to say that, oh, it doesn't matter,
Speaker 1: it's all good. You've got to check. So you have
Speaker 1: to remain accountable in some way to make sure that
Speaker 1: you are continuing to do good with the greater facilities
Speaker 1: and responsibility as opposed to, Oh, I just made five
Speaker 1: million this year, twenty million this year, and I'm getting
Speaker 1: all these accomplishments and awards and recognition. So figuring out
Speaker 1: how to stay humble and confident purpose at the same
Speaker 1: time at the same time to not get carried away
Speaker 1: by an opportunity because of that. And so what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is that the reason why people think you either
Speaker 1: have to be spiritual or financially successful is because they think, well,
Speaker 1: if you're going down the spiritual path, money can be
Speaker 1: a distraction, or if you're going down money, then spirituality
Speaker 1: will distract you. And that is true. That is real.
Speaker 1: Like you can get really materialistic trying to be spiritual, sure,
Speaker 1: and you can become distracted from your materialism by being spiritual.
Speaker 1: That is true. But the goal of life is to
Speaker 1: live in that paradox, like in that middle point of
Speaker 1: trying to figure it out. So I often say to
Speaker 1: people like I don't consider that we've and I know
Speaker 1: we both feel this way. We haven't figured it out.
Speaker 1: We don't know we don't know everything about everything, but
Speaker 1: I'm trying to toggle with that because I believe that
Speaker 1: the truth is in the middle. The truth isn't in
Speaker 1: the either. All. Yeah, I think it's interesting. I want
Speaker 1: to talk about also how we have individually stayed accountable
Speaker 1: humble in our growth and our trajectory individually, because there's
Speaker 1: a one point where I had no followers. At one
Speaker 1: point you had no followers, and we had no business.
Speaker 1: And now both of us have you know, an ascension
Speaker 1: of audience, of opportunities, of money, of accomplishments, awards, things
Speaker 1: like that. I'll ask you first, and then i'll answer
Speaker 1: how have you question? But I'm curious how you have
Speaker 1: managed the rise to financial gain over the last five
Speaker 1: years and audience gain and recognition gain. How have you?
Speaker 1: And I'll answer myself, how have you personally stayed humble
Speaker 1: in the process of the rise financially That that's what
Speaker 1: I mean by the vigilance, like in the sense of
Speaker 1: you can't ever be complacent about your inner journey. So
Speaker 1: if at any point you think you're humble, you're automatically
Speaker 1: not humble. If you think you're so, I need to
Speaker 1: stop saying that to my girlfriend, I'm so yeah. If
Speaker 1: you think you're humble, you're not humble. If you think
Speaker 1: you've been really grounded, you're not grounded, because that automatically
Speaker 1: cancels out the other. But at the same time, I
Speaker 1: would say that for me, what are my anchors? And
Speaker 1: I think I look at them as anchors. We've been
Speaker 1: getting so many amazing reviews for The Daily Jay, my
Speaker 1: new daily guided meditation series on the car Map. You
Speaker 1: might have heard a couple of snippets on the podcast
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Speaker 1: the chance to check it out, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: share this review from Caitlin, an elementary school teacher from
Speaker 1: New Jersey. He's what she had to say. I have
Speaker 1: over nine years of experience in the American public school
Speaker 1: education system, including teaching throughout the pandemic. Over the past
Speaker 1: two years, I've seen extreme cases of anxiety and my
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Speaker 1: experienced these feelings before, and most are not even sure
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Speaker 1: oncong So my first anchor is impact is always greater
Speaker 1: than income. There is always more impact you can make,
Speaker 1: So I know that. For me, what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: do with the work I'm doing is video was an
Speaker 1: entryway into a journey of transformation. I wanted people to
Speaker 1: move from videos to listen to the podcast, to read
Speaker 1: the book, to come to events, to come to retreats
Speaker 1: with me in India, like I want to help people
Speaker 1: go as far on their inner journey as they possibly can.
Speaker 1: That's my personal mission. Is if someone just wants to
Speaker 1: watch a three minute video and it makes them feel better,
Speaker 1: that's beautiful. But if someone one day wants to come
Speaker 1: with me to India and live the life I lived
Speaker 1: and have a deep inward journey, then I want to
Speaker 1: be able to facilitate that. I'm still building that bridge
Speaker 1: two people's deeper selves. And the first thing that always
Speaker 1: humbles me and grounds me is I've got a lot
Speaker 1: of work to do. There's so much suffering in pain
Speaker 1: in the world. There is so much unrest in the world,
Speaker 1: there is so much trauma in the world. So we've
Speaker 1: got a long way to go. So all the awards
Speaker 1: and the views they give you confidence that you're going
Speaker 1: in the right direction, but you will know you're far
Speaker 1: away from the destination. That's one thing. I think. The
Speaker 1: second thing that really helps me is being around still
Speaker 1: spending time with my monk teachers who have very different
Speaker 1: vision as to what is valuable in life. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: they don't care about they don't care about material possessions
Speaker 1: or money, and they don't care and so they're not
Speaker 1: impressed by that. And so to be around people who
Speaker 1: don't admire certain things helps you lose taste for it.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like when I'm around yeah, Marcus Realius.
Speaker 1: The story is the Marcus Aurelius would walk through I
Speaker 1: guess the town and just have someone saying you're just
Speaker 1: a man when everyone was praising his name and kind
Speaker 1: of bowing to him and saying, you're like this guy right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's having that accountability that you talked about people
Speaker 1: in your life that admire you for who you are,
Speaker 1: not for what you're creating in the world, right, for
Speaker 1: just your kindness, your heart, you know, your humanness, not
Speaker 1: the brand that you have built as an individual. I
Speaker 1: think that's so important to have my girlfriend Martha over Christmas.
Speaker 1: They did it. She's great. Over Christmas. They have this
Speaker 1: like little game that their family does where you pick out,
Speaker 1: like a word that's going to be your kind of
Speaker 1: your word of intention for the year, and it's supposed
Speaker 1: to be the word you need. Like everyone picks out
Speaker 1: a word and you hang it in an ornament that
Speaker 1: goes on like a tree, and then you look at
Speaker 1: it again the next year, and then you're always reminded
Speaker 1: of this word. And there's different words like confidence and
Speaker 1: self worth and intention and all these things, and can
Speaker 1: you guess what my word was? These are random, right,
Speaker 1: so you pick you don't know what it is, you
Speaker 1: pick it out at its random thing. Love. That's what
Speaker 1: we've been talking about. This humility. Oh it's humility. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so, it's humility. So she picked it out and
Speaker 1: you read it in front of life. There's like twenty
Speaker 1: of her family that I was like, humility. They're all like, yes,
Speaker 1: you need that, It's like no, but I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel like I'm pretty humble, but
Speaker 1: any funny just said that, like when you're saying you're humble,
Speaker 1: you need more of it. And I think the thing
Speaker 1: is it's always a great reminder whether you're super humble
Speaker 1: or not, it's a great reminder because life will bring
Speaker 1: things to humble you if you do not consistently stay
Speaker 1: humble in your life. There's injury, sickness, you know, attacks online,
Speaker 1: or controversy or whatever might come up in the world,
Speaker 1: and it's going to continue to come up. But as
Speaker 1: long as you have the accountability and the right people
Speaker 1: in your corner who call you out on your bs
Speaker 1: and also celebrate you when you're doing good things as well,
Speaker 1: I think that's important to have. I agree, I agree.
Speaker 1: I think life is a journey designed to disconnect you
Speaker 1: from your ego and dissolve your ego. If you think
Speaker 1: about life as that is the journey, and so as
Speaker 1: much as you willingly hand over of that journey, the
Speaker 1: less it's being pulled away. And what I mean by
Speaker 1: that is and it's it's what you said. When you
Speaker 1: really think about any success you have or any impact
Speaker 1: you've made, there is someone who has helped you get there,
Speaker 1: directly or indirectly. So for you to say I am
Speaker 1: self made, it isn't completely true because there was someone
Speaker 1: indirectly or directly that helped you get there. So if
Speaker 1: I say that, you know, people appreciate how I communicate
Speaker 1: ideas today or certain ideas, I have to thank my
Speaker 1: monk teachers who taught me that wisdom. Or if someone says,
Speaker 1: hey Jay, let you really resilient or you've broken through
Speaker 1: a lot of challenges, but then you have to respect
Speaker 1: the people that tried to pull you down, and so
Speaker 1: it gave me the opportunity to overcome adversity exactly. And
Speaker 1: so either way, there have been people who have helped
Speaker 1: you get to where you are, and so you can't
Speaker 1: claim the ego of I did this all myself. And
Speaker 1: I think there's also something to be said for humility
Speaker 1: and receiving acknowledgment from others and to yourself, yeah, and
Speaker 1: celebrating what you've also created. I love the acceptance award
Speaker 1: of Snoop Dogg where he says something like, you know,
Speaker 1: and I want to thank me for all the late nights,
Speaker 1: all the early mornings, all the hard work, and I
Speaker 1: thank me for never giving up on me. And I
Speaker 1: think there is this over humility sometimes too, where people
Speaker 1: are like, well, I'll be like, hey Jay, it was
Speaker 1: so amazing what you did, and when people say it
Speaker 1: was nothing I did. It wasn't me, you know, I
Speaker 1: get to praise everyone else. I think there's a a
Speaker 1: spiritual way to receive, yes, accomplishments and be humble in
Speaker 1: your thank you, graceful in your thank you. Receive it
Speaker 1: as well, because you are showing up in a big way,
Speaker 1: you can be humble and also gracious in your confidence. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think that's a great, great point, and I completely
Speaker 1: agree with you. I don't think it's again, it's never
Speaker 1: either all. I think that's the point that whenever anyone
Speaker 1: tries to make it is like should it be humble
Speaker 1: or should it be confident? It's like be both? Should
Speaker 1: I be successful or should it be spiritually? Be both? Like?
Speaker 1: You can be both like, and we need to be
Speaker 1: both because sometimes you are going to need to. I agree. Like,
Speaker 1: when when you reject praise what happened or genuine acknowledgement,
Speaker 1: what ends up happening is you lose the opportunity for
Speaker 1: someone else to express gratitude, to give, to give, you
Speaker 1: block that ability for them to get You're robbing someone's gift. Yes,
Speaker 1: and that's a no, no no. We'll talk about a
Speaker 1: whole nother session on the law of attraction and the hustle. Yes,
Speaker 1: but there's something to be you know. And people that
Speaker 1: make money know how to receive because they receive money
Speaker 1: and there's a flow also, there's a flow to it.
Speaker 1: They the ones who are really good, don't hoard it, right,
Speaker 1: They let it in and they let it out. It's
Speaker 1: like a cycle. And they're investing it and they're spending
Speaker 1: on people and they're building things. And they don't say, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for money, don't give it to me
Speaker 1: right now. It's the same thing, like you don't want
Speaker 1: to block someone's acknowledgement or praise or opportunities and say
Speaker 1: I'm not ready for it. Yeah, like, take it in,
Speaker 1: receive it, be graceful, and you can also be humble
Speaker 1: at the same time. Yeah, use it as fuel. Don't
Speaker 1: let it go to you ahead, right right, But you
Speaker 1: use it as fuel. So if someone gives you praise,
Speaker 1: you go, oh, thank you so much. That's amazing. Now
Speaker 1: I'm going to use that to work harder. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: But you're not just using it to go Okay, it's
Speaker 1: going through my head now I'm going to feel that
Speaker 1: you're using as fuel and so and I think that's
Speaker 1: why it's everyone needs someone accountable to them. Yeah, whether
Speaker 1: that's your partner, I know, Roddy, is that for you? Probably?
Speaker 1: Martha's that way for me where she will celebrate me,
Speaker 1: but she also just gives me great feedback if I'm
Speaker 1: if she thinks I'm being you know, over the top
Speaker 1: on something, which I never try to be. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just even just her, just her being there as
Speaker 1: a reminder to stay humble. Yeah, you know, even if
Speaker 1: she doesn't have to say anything, it's just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't need to be boasting anything. And having someone
Speaker 1: that you are inspired by in your life that can
Speaker 1: be that accountability is so key. I think having that community,
Speaker 1: not everyone that just says you're incredible all the time,
Speaker 1: but someone who keeps you grounded and also supports your growth. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for me. The interesting thing going back to our original
Speaker 1: question is money and spirituality. Yeah, like, and going back
Speaker 1: to in context of this is if you're proud of
Speaker 1: something that can be taken away, it will always leave
Speaker 1: you empty. So I mean proud of your money, correct,
Speaker 1: if that's all you're proud of of what you've done,
Speaker 1: and ultimately, whether you die with it or you lose
Speaker 1: it before you die, it is going to go somewhere else.
Speaker 1: It's going to be transferred, even if that's to your
Speaker 1: children or to anyone else. Then that can be a
Speaker 1: very scary place to live. It can be a fearful
Speaker 1: place to live. But you can never lose the impact
Speaker 1: you've made on people totally like that, you know. And
Speaker 1: I think that's what I've noticed, is that purpose is
Speaker 1: the only thing that keeps giving to you because it's
Speaker 1: such a like it's it's the only thing that can
Speaker 1: give to you without needing anything else. And here's something
Speaker 1: else that I'm thinking about. Please, there are a few
Speaker 1: people that I know, and I think you know as well,
Speaker 1: who have made a lot of money, but they still
Speaker 1: don't have that fulfillment inside or remember their relationships are
Speaker 1: off or their health is off. But there are others
Speaker 1: who have made a lot of money and they are
Speaker 1: so fulfilled with so much joy because it's purposeful money.
Speaker 1: It's money made with a mission in mind. And I
Speaker 1: think that's what we need to be thinking about on
Speaker 1: our journeys, is the money we're making. And I think
Speaker 1: money is great to have. It helps solve a lot
Speaker 1: of problems in our lives. But it doesn't solve the
Speaker 1: problem of fulfillment. Yes, and it doesn't solve the problem
Speaker 1: of inner peace. It might solve some peace, it might
Speaker 1: be able to help pay for challenges to overcome, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't bring us ultimate inner peace by itself. Correct
Speaker 1: unless we figure out purpose and mission as well. Yes,
Speaker 1: money gives financial security, yes, and financial stability and financial safety,
Speaker 1: which are all very important things. But financial stability does
Speaker 1: not equate to mental peace. Right. Like, we know people
Speaker 1: financial security, but they are not mentally peaceful. They're emotionally unstable, correct,
Speaker 1: because those two things don't correlate. Same with emotional stability
Speaker 1: does not lead to financial security. Right. I know people
Speaker 1: who are really emotionally together, but they may not have
Speaker 1: figured out how to organize their business with their life
Speaker 1: to facilitate that which I was in that bucket for
Speaker 1: a long time in my life, and so we've got
Speaker 1: to start seeing them. It's just two different pursuits. If
Speaker 1: I buy a ticket to LA I'm not going to
Speaker 1: get to New York. And if I buy a New
Speaker 1: York I'm not going to get there. You've got to
Speaker 1: pay for that ticket that you want, and they're two
Speaker 1: different things. An emotional regulation and emotional peace and making
Speaker 1: money are two different skill sets, yes, and you have
Speaker 1: to you have to study and practice the art of
Speaker 1: emotional regulation, of emotional peace, of inner peace. It has
Speaker 1: taken me decades to get to a place where I
Speaker 1: feel inside right. And I know you you went off
Speaker 1: to go on this journey when you were twenty one,
Speaker 1: twenty two or something because you didn't feel that early
Speaker 1: on in your life, and you were inspired by the
Speaker 1: monks that you met who came and taught and you're like,
Speaker 1: I want to go learn this and have this in
Speaker 1: my life. So I think it's two separate journeys. It's learning.
Speaker 1: And some people make money naturally and it comes easier
Speaker 1: to them, and other people are just peaceful, joyful people naturally.
Speaker 1: I would say, Roddy's like one of these just peaceful,
Speaker 1: joyful people naturally just in her nature, where other people
Speaker 1: struggle and have more depressed thoughts and they're more stressed out.
Speaker 1: And so it's a each r a practice, and they
Speaker 1: can both be very challenging, but so worthwhile pursuing because
Speaker 1: when you master both, it gives you even more peace. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I have friends that make you know, I
Speaker 1: have friends that work their job, make their money, and
Speaker 1: then spend all their evenings and weekends with their family,
Speaker 1: and they're really happy because they know what their purpose is.
Speaker 1: And then I have friends that have all the money
Speaker 1: in the world that are unhappy. But then I all
Speaker 1: said the opposite, where I have friends who are doing
Speaker 1: their ninety five job and spending time every day and
Speaker 1: they have time, but they're not happy for stress. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I have friends that are leaving their purpose
Speaker 1: making out somebody that are happy. And so we need
Speaker 1: to stop equating money and happiness in the same conversation,
Speaker 1: or money and success. They just provide different things. And
Speaker 1: like you beautifully said, they are different skills and we
Speaker 1: have to decide. Each one has to decide what type
Speaker 1: of life we want to lead. And I think both
Speaker 1: are I don't know, you'd tell me both are equally
Speaker 1: as important to learn at the same time, because if
Speaker 1: you're putting your energy on making money, but then you
Speaker 1: can't sleep at night because you're emotionally stressed and you
Speaker 1: have no peace. But you figure out the money thing,
Speaker 1: your health is going to go to crap and your
Speaker 1: relationships are going to go to crap. If you're just
Speaker 1: zend out all day and you don't spend time on
Speaker 1: figuring out the money side, then you're broke, you know,
Speaker 1: and there becomes some stress around not having things to
Speaker 1: buy and pay for and going month a month that
Speaker 1: has an element of stress. So they're both so important
Speaker 1: to be working on together, I think correct. I'm a
Speaker 1: big believer that emotional regulation is the key in general
Speaker 1: because it just makes you less reactive in all life situations.
Speaker 1: But finding a way to make money within a meaningful
Speaker 1: pursuit is so fulfilling as well. Yeah, it doesn't feel
Speaker 1: like work when you're doing something meaningful and making your
Speaker 1: money around it. Yeah, And if you can't do that yet,
Speaker 1: I think that's one of the biggest issues too, is
Speaker 1: that doing a job just because it pays the bills
Speaker 1: and takes care of what you need and then having
Speaker 1: time to figure out your passions and what else you
Speaker 1: want to do, that's a beautiful place to start. That's
Speaker 1: where I started. I think that's probably where you start too.
Speaker 1: It's like you start with just a base. And I
Speaker 1: think too many people hate on their current life because
Speaker 1: they want this passion life. But hating on your current
Speaker 1: life is just training yourself to hate on your future life.
Speaker 1: And I think we don't recognize that you'll never be
Speaker 1: happy where you're at. Yeah, and I'm not saying you
Speaker 1: you're gonna love like I would say. I've done so
Speaker 1: many jobs in my life that I honestly did not love,
Speaker 1: but I choose. And I did everything from stacking shelves
Speaker 1: at grocery stores to working in retail to delivering newspapers.
Speaker 1: I calculated the other day, I've been working now for
Speaker 1: twenty years because I started working when I was fourteen
Speaker 1: thirty four now, so we're working for twenty years and
Speaker 1: I've done I would say that up until six years ago,
Speaker 1: most of the jobs I did I didn't want to do.
Speaker 1: But all of them I learned to take a skill
Speaker 1: that I used today. And so now when I look back,
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, well, being a delivery boy told me
Speaker 1: discipline because I had to do all the streets in
Speaker 1: my area without any reciprocation, in the rain and lugging
Speaker 1: around this like, you know, delivering news thing, which it
Speaker 1: didn't make me cool. I missed out and hanging out
Speaker 1: with friends. What everybody taught me discipline, And I think
Speaker 1: it's you know, I had a lot of those jobs
Speaker 1: as well, where I was a bouncer on the weekends
Speaker 1: at a nightclub the weekest, so I was a truck
Speaker 1: driver during the day for I only did this for
Speaker 1: three and a half months and I was like, I
Speaker 1: can't do this anymore. Truck driver for six hours a day.
Speaker 1: I would drive a massive U haul, kind of the
Speaker 1: biggest truck before you had to get a special license
Speaker 1: for a truck, so I think, imagine that the biggest
Speaker 1: U haul. And I was driving for NAPA Auto Parts,
Speaker 1: which is like a car manufacturer. And I would drive
Speaker 1: two and a half hours from Columbus to Cincinnati, Ohio,
Speaker 1: and two and a half hours back every day and
Speaker 1: transfer these autoparts from one truck to another and bring
Speaker 1: others back up to Columbus. And the truck only went
Speaker 1: fifty five miles an hour all the way the pedals
Speaker 1: of metal, and so I was just in the slow lane.
Speaker 1: This was before like really cell phones and all these
Speaker 1: different things. And I would do that during the day,
Speaker 1: and I would do the bouncing on the weekend to
Speaker 1: make some money. And I remember thinking like this is
Speaker 1: not for me, this is not what I was born
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, but I think in those situations, just
Speaker 1: like you had in your situations, it's figuring out how
Speaker 1: to be purpose in the thing you're doing, be joy,
Speaker 1: be fun in those moments while you're thinking of like
Speaker 1: the next thing to get out of or how to
Speaker 1: get out of that into the next thing what you
Speaker 1: want to be doing. And you know, have you ever
Speaker 1: been to a restaurant where you have a waiter a
Speaker 1: waitress that's just like full of light, full of joy.
Speaker 1: They're so grateful, they bring a smile to your face,
Speaker 1: They remember the order perfectly, They just like want to
Speaker 1: make the experience incredible. Yeah, you always tell these stories
Speaker 1: about getting them getting hired and then going on to
Speaker 1: some other career because they brought the joy, They brought
Speaker 1: purpose to their career, to their job which maybe they
Speaker 1: didn't really want to be at ye, but that's how
Speaker 1: you get to the next place. It's by bringing that
Speaker 1: energy to the thing you don't enjoy and being purposeful. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I think if we could start doing that, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be a magnet for opportunities to finding your purpose. I
Speaker 1: love that there was we were just in Rwanda and
Speaker 1: there was a I don't drink alcohol, but I was
Speaker 1: with a group of people who were and so there
Speaker 1: was a somalier who was explaining the wine expert was
Speaker 1: like telling everyone what's in the wine and all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff, and the person I was weird and
Speaker 1: encouraged him to he was he was from Africa. And
Speaker 1: the person who was leading the retreat asked the person
Speaker 1: to explain their journey to how they became a somalier
Speaker 1: at this beautiful hotel that we were at, and he
Speaker 1: sat down and he told us his story and it's
Speaker 1: exactly what you said. Yeah, literally cool. So he was
Speaker 1: saying that he worked at a restaurant. He was waiting
Speaker 1: and then he was asked one night to like choose
Speaker 1: a bottle of wine for a table, and so he
Speaker 1: chose a bottle of wine for that table, gave advice,
Speaker 1: and he was really good at it because he'd been
Speaker 1: doing his YouTube research and learning on the side. And
Speaker 1: he said that when he gave it to this person
Speaker 1: at the table, they asked him why this wine, why
Speaker 1: not the other one, Like they were really quizzing him,
Speaker 1: and because he'd done his research, he knew what to say.
Speaker 1: He said that at the end of the meal, that
Speaker 1: person who was sitting at the table, gave him a
Speaker 1: car so cool, and when he looked into the next day,
Speaker 1: that was the owner of the brand of wine that
Speaker 1: he gave. No way, that is cool and that person deceptive.
Speaker 1: If you want to train to be somewhile, then you know,
Speaker 1: we'll put you into training school. Everything that's cool and
Speaker 1: it's amazing, Like you know, he was so beaming when
Speaker 1: he's telling the story. He's so happy doing it. And
Speaker 1: for him it was a big change because he was
Speaker 1: saying that the family he grew up in would have
Speaker 1: not been happy with him working in alcohol, but it
Speaker 1: was his passion. It was what drew him there. Right,
Speaker 1: It's just those kind of stories that melt my heart.
Speaker 1: But if he showed up stress that he was going
Speaker 1: to a job that he didn't like and sank, I
Speaker 1: really don't want to be here. I'm not doing the
Speaker 1: thing I want to do exactly, and let me just
Speaker 1: get through the night, let me do the bare minimum,
Speaker 1: let me show up and just get my check and
Speaker 1: go back. If we go through life in those moments
Speaker 1: where we don't want to be doing something, nothing good
Speaker 1: is going to happen for us. We're not going to
Speaker 1: create an energy that attracts financial abundance. And that's not
Speaker 1: a spiritual practice. Showing up being kind of half lazy,
Speaker 1: half disinterested in just going through the motions, that's not
Speaker 1: a spiritual practice either. A spiritual practice from my perspective,
Speaker 1: is being present in a moment and giving your fullest joy,
Speaker 1: giving your light, giving your heart to the moment. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's a spiritual practice. I'm not saying you're gonna be
Speaker 1: able to have the energy to do that every moment
Speaker 1: of every day, but it's doing your best to get
Speaker 1: back to the moment and say, how can I be
Speaker 1: of service to this moment? How can I use my light?
Speaker 1: How can I use my gift whatever that is in
Speaker 1: this moment to serve absolutely? What would you say is yeah,
Speaker 1: what would you say as a spiritual practice for you
Speaker 1: kind of day to day? Yeah? I think. I think
Speaker 1: the spiritual practice is how can I truly treat everyone
Speaker 1: I meet as an equal, as a human? How do
Speaker 1: I see them through equal vision? How do I not
Speaker 1: talk down to someone or talk up to someone? How
Speaker 1: do I truly allow each person to space to express
Speaker 1: themselves and express myself to connect with them? And if
Speaker 1: I'm going to a place of work. If I'm going
Speaker 1: to a place of wherever I am, how can I
Speaker 1: show up believing that my positive energy and what I
Speaker 1: put out in the world will some way come back
Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, it's hard to believe that, but it will.
Speaker 1: I've seen sometimes, you know, it's like an investment, Like
Speaker 1: sometimes you're mak an investment and you don't see the
Speaker 1: benefits till twenty years later, but you're so grateful for
Speaker 1: it twenty years later because it almost surprises you. And
Speaker 1: that's how the world works. Like there's very few things
Speaker 1: that are instant in life. I mean, I would say
Speaker 1: that you probably feel you're living off of habits and
Speaker 1: disciplines you built totally. It's not like it's not like
Speaker 1: what you're winning in now is what you just did yesterday.
Speaker 1: Like it's stuff that you like when you you know,
Speaker 1: we're playing sport and developing as an athlete, like all
Speaker 1: of those skill sets are useful today. Absolutely, even though
Speaker 1: you're not doing the same thing. Absolutely. Yeah, it's similar
Speaker 1: to my athletic background, which you were an athlete as well,
Speaker 1: but you're more trained. You were the athletes of the mind, right,
Speaker 1: you were the spiritual athlete. You're getting up at four am,
Speaker 1: sleeping on the ground, you know, just being of service
Speaker 1: all day, learning, teaching, meditating, being with your monk community.
Speaker 1: And you had to go through adversity on a daily basis. Essentially,
Speaker 1: you had to do uncomfortable things and be positive about it.
Speaker 1: In football, when you're doing three of days, it is
Speaker 1: not fun and one hundred five degree humidity and heat,
Speaker 1: showing up, putting pads on and getting smashed over and
Speaker 1: over again for two hours at a time, three times
Speaker 1: a day, it's not fun. Yeah, But the coaches ingraining
Speaker 1: you added and how you show up for others and
Speaker 1: your team and the team and if you are missing
Speaker 1: the play, you're letting the whole team down. And it's
Speaker 1: how each individual shows up with a positive attitude makes
Speaker 1: the entire mission of the team move forward in progress. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But if you're stressed and overwhelmed and allowing the adversity
Speaker 1: of the moment to hold you back, then the team's
Speaker 1: going to be held back. Yeah. I think you did
Speaker 1: that in the monk community by constantly being a service,
Speaker 1: even if you're only getting two hours asleep and in
Speaker 1: the heat all day serving, you know, just asking for
Speaker 1: food and the same thing in life and you're using
Speaker 1: that discipline now from ten fifteen years ago. Well, I
Speaker 1: think what I see in you is that I didn't
Speaker 1: know you when you were an athlete back then, but
Speaker 1: I feel like the thing I know it's about you
Speaker 1: is that you're always bringing the most amount of value
Speaker 1: to everything you do. That's the goal. And whether I
Speaker 1: was when I spoke to your master mind a few
Speaker 1: years ago, I saw how much value you grow your community,
Speaker 1: and I saw how my success all of them have
Speaker 1: had and the journeys and careers they've had. And I
Speaker 1: want to talk about this, and I think it'll be
Speaker 1: useful for us to answer this together. I think one
Speaker 1: of the biggest issues that people have. So let's say
Speaker 1: first they recognize, as we both clarified that we realize
Speaker 1: that money is an energy, that it's a resource. Money
Speaker 1: is not good or bad. It's defined by how you
Speaker 1: use it, and if your goal is to use money
Speaker 1: for a higher purpose and for a mission, it can
Speaker 1: be a beautiful thing. You've established that. I think one
Speaker 1: of the biggest things that people struggle with, and this
Speaker 1: is what I wanted us to talk about, is people
Speaker 1: struggle with the idea of how do I charge for
Speaker 1: what I'm worth. Where I feel uncomfortable to charge for
Speaker 1: my services. I know coaches feel this way, I know
Speaker 1: therapists feel this way. I know people are in the
Speaker 1: service business feel difficult to feel like they're allowed to
Speaker 1: feel comfortable to charge for their service. Is because it's
Speaker 1: assumed that if you're doing good for the world, you
Speaker 1: should be doing it for free. And so let's address
Speaker 1: that mindset. Because I think a lot of people might
Speaker 1: be watching right now going listen jam with you, but
Speaker 1: I just feel really unconfident about saying this is how
Speaker 1: much my services are worthy. And so I'll go first
Speaker 1: because I bought it up. Yes, but I think it's
Speaker 1: the idea of Like the first thing I say to
Speaker 1: people is we know this that when people are paid
Speaker 1: for something, including when I pay for something, I take
Speaker 1: it more seriously. I'm more likely to show up and
Speaker 1: be my best, and I'm more likely to complete. A
Speaker 1: great example of us is a personal trainer. Absolutely. The
Speaker 1: reason I have that is because I know I've already
Speaker 1: paid for his time. I already know I've paid for
Speaker 1: an hour, and if I cancel, I'm going to lose
Speaker 1: that money. And if I show up and I'm not
Speaker 1: full energy, then I'm not going to get that much
Speaker 1: out of it. Right. If I haven't paid someone, I
Speaker 1: may or may not go to the gym. If I
Speaker 1: feel like it or not, I probably won't turn up.
Speaker 1: If I turn up to them, I might just be
Speaker 1: on my phone the whole time. By the way, if
Speaker 1: you're going to gym, you probably paid membership too. So
Speaker 1: the idea of the transaction of money forces a higher
Speaker 1: commitment and energy from me included, yes, and from everyone absolutely,
Speaker 1: and so of course it's all based on affordability and
Speaker 1: privilege and access. Of course, like I'm not telling to
Speaker 1: be able to pay more than they have, but the
Speaker 1: idea that when we exchange money for something, we value
Speaker 1: it more. And I think our friend Dean Graciosi says,
Speaker 1: you pay attention to what you pay for, and the
Speaker 1: more you pay for it, you pay more attention to
Speaker 1: the thing that you've invested in or signed up on.
Speaker 1: If you buy a house and you spend a lot
Speaker 1: of money on that house, you're probably going to make
Speaker 1: sure the house is in good order and you're going
Speaker 1: to fix it up and you're going to treat it well.
Speaker 1: You buy a new car, same thing. You're gonna not
Speaker 1: trash it, at least not right away hopefully. But if
Speaker 1: you buy a car for a few hundred bucks, you
Speaker 1: may say, if it hits a wall or if this
Speaker 1: is scratched, like, who cares because I didn't invest that
Speaker 1: much in it. So we pay attention to what we
Speaker 1: pay for are And I think you're doing a disservice
Speaker 1: to yourself and you're creating a model to everyone around
Speaker 1: you that you're not worth receiving of money if you're
Speaker 1: not willing to charge or eventually charge more when you
Speaker 1: can deliver more value for that. And I think it's
Speaker 1: important to we'll probably talk about this more and another
Speaker 1: session about you know, a law of attraction and the
Speaker 1: hustle and grind and then things around that. But I
Speaker 1: think when I think we should be constantly striving to
Speaker 1: develop more skills, add more value, and then in that
Speaker 1: process be willing to charge more. Yeah, otherwise we're staying stagnant.
Speaker 1: And I think you just hit a nail on the head.
Speaker 1: It's that you're charging for your skills that you've developed,
Speaker 1: and you're not charging for the time. You're charging for
Speaker 1: the time it to build those skills and the value
Speaker 1: can deliver with the speed of a delivery hole. Correct, correct,
Speaker 1: Because I think a lot of people feel like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't charge that much for an hour, or I
Speaker 1: can't charge that much for X, Y or Z. But
Speaker 1: it's like you're not charging for that hour. You're charging
Speaker 1: for all the hours that it took to build that exactly.
Speaker 1: And I think a good example for my personal life
Speaker 1: is I'm paying for a therapist slash coach right now.
Speaker 1: That's I pay a kind of a lump sum for
Speaker 1: six months for a certain amount of sessions. But if
Speaker 1: I was to average the sessions out and call it
Speaker 1: per session rate, it's around seven hundred bucks a session,
Speaker 1: right for an hour and a half, which is probably
Speaker 1: the highest amount of any therapist out there. Ye should
Speaker 1: therapist maybe one hundred and fifty, maybe two hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty on the high end, some of the celebrity therapists
Speaker 1: or five hundred dollars a session. So I'm paying above that,
Speaker 1: and I'm paying it because I'm getting incredible results from
Speaker 1: my inner piece, and it's worth it. It's worth it.
Speaker 1: You was investing in your future, investing in my future forever,
Speaker 1: and the skills that I'm developing that will allow me
Speaker 1: to have greater peace in my intimacy, in my relationships,
Speaker 1: greater my friendships, greater harmony in my business, and allow
Speaker 1: me to soar financially and with my mission. So it's like,
Speaker 1: it's all around a good investment, correct, even if it's
Speaker 1: a three times more than the average, right for me,
Speaker 1: it's worth it. Yeah, yeah, And other people that may
Speaker 1: not make sense based on where they're at, and I
Speaker 1: get it, But there is an investment that will make
Speaker 1: sense for you. And maybe it's not a hiring a
Speaker 1: therapist or a coach, but it's going through a workshop
Speaker 1: online that you pay something for, buying a book, buying
Speaker 1: a blood something else, listening to our podcast either one
Speaker 1: of those. It's like, yeah, exactly. But you're investing time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're time. You're investing time to learn something and then
Speaker 1: investing in applying it and testing it. And I think
Speaker 1: that's just as that's valuable as well, and I want
Speaker 1: to address that. It is by the way I feel
Speaker 1: awkward talking about money. We will feel awkward to talk
Speaker 1: about money because we were told that it's a taboo
Speaker 1: in society. Yeah, you never ask someone their wage, You
Speaker 1: never asked them how much money they make. You don't
Speaker 1: tell someone what your bonus was this year. So we've
Speaker 1: created a taboo in society to talk about money, and
Speaker 1: that's why most of us feel really uncomfortable, where we'd
Speaker 1: rather not have that conversation. But the problem is then
Speaker 1: we spend all of our mind thinking about money, because
Speaker 1: then we're like, well, they didn't pay me enough, or
Speaker 1: they don't value me, or I should have got a
Speaker 1: bigger bonus, or I should have got a better promotion,
Speaker 1: or my salary should be this. And so by you
Speaker 1: pretending or not even pretending, by you feeling uncomfortable to
Speaker 1: address money, you actually end up spending more time obsessed
Speaker 1: with the lack of it. Yes, And I think that's
Speaker 1: the pain, that you're actually obsessing over the lack of
Speaker 1: money because you're scared of talking about it. And I
Speaker 1: know I've been there, Like I know what that feels like.
Speaker 1: And I think some things that people can think about
Speaker 1: as they leave this conversation is I'm so glad you
Speaker 1: said this, because I was probably going to forget this.
Speaker 1: A mentor of mine early on when I was broke, said,
Speaker 1: it comes to you when you're ready for it, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel pretty ready to have some
Speaker 1: money because I don't have any. I feel ready and
Speaker 1: he's like, it'll come to you when you're ready for it.
Speaker 1: And I didn't understand it. When you're lacking, it doesn't
Speaker 1: make sense. But it understood it as money started to
Speaker 1: come to me because I was like, I wasn't ready
Speaker 1: to manage the responsibility, the weight. I didn't have the
Speaker 1: knowledge on how to receive money, how to manage it,
Speaker 1: how to pay off credit cards and debts, how to
Speaker 1: automate things like I would have blown it because I
Speaker 1: didn't understand it enough. So what you said right there
Speaker 1: is so important that we need to have conscious conversations
Speaker 1: about money and be willing to be uncomfortable with your
Speaker 1: friends or family members that maybe you've never talked about
Speaker 1: money and start talking about it. I love normalizing the
Speaker 1: conversation so it's not scary, so it's not bad. So
Speaker 1: it's not this I don't know, I don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about it, it's scary. If you know these things.
Speaker 1: Letting go with the shame around money conversations and do
Speaker 1: it appropriate setting with the right people, but be willing
Speaker 1: to have these conversations. You won't feel the pressure of
Speaker 1: it as much, and when it comes, it's not going
Speaker 1: to feel like you have to hold on to it
Speaker 1: as much, and you'll just be able to naturally flow
Speaker 1: in the world more with open conversations. So I think
Speaker 1: what you said there is so important we need to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I think that the reason we feel uncomfortable is
Speaker 1: because we've never been trained, And the reason why we
Speaker 1: decided to do this is because we're trying to have
Speaker 1: the uncomfortable conversation so that hopefully all of you feel encouraged.
Speaker 1: I've always found our friend David Buck. Yes, he has
Speaker 1: some really great stuff on Like I remember reading his
Speaker 1: stuff years before I met it about how much money
Speaker 1: to spend on rent and how much money does it
Speaker 1: save and how to do this like when you first
Speaker 1: have like an income from a job. And I found
Speaker 1: that so useful because no one in my life has
Speaker 1: ever talked to no one talked about it. So if
Speaker 1: you're scared of talking about money, if you're scared of
Speaker 1: figuring out how to charge, and by the way, if
Speaker 1: you're someone who in your heart goes jee, I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm somewhat taking advantage of someone when I ask
Speaker 1: them for money, bring more value, bring more value, over deliver,
Speaker 1: give your heart, and then you won't feel that way
Speaker 1: because you realize you're having a genuine impact on them.
Speaker 1: I realize when we launched some of our courses and programs,
Speaker 1: we studied how they improve people's lives, and we saw
Speaker 1: that someone in our community has been part of Genius
Speaker 1: for ninety days, their happiness goes up by and we
Speaker 1: were like, that's incredible, Like that's beautiful, right, And so
Speaker 1: when you start to measure impact, Yes, measure your impact.
Speaker 1: Don't just create something and hope that it works. Measure
Speaker 1: your impact. You'll feel more confident. Really take the time
Speaker 1: to create an offering that genuinely improves people's lives. You'll
Speaker 1: be more confident, and then ultimately keep checking in with
Speaker 1: yourself absolutely to check am I truly delivering or not? Yeah.
Speaker 1: One of the things we do every Monday today is
Speaker 1: Monday our team Calls, is we talk about what are
Speaker 1: some of the impact we're aching on all the different
Speaker 1: programs and products and from the courses to the podcast,
Speaker 1: like what the testimonials of the week. We have a
Speaker 1: big spreadsheet with all the testimonals that come in different
Speaker 1: people on the team read out what they kind of
Speaker 1: have ownership over here the biggest testimonials of the week,
Speaker 1: and it constantly reminds us why we're doing what we're doing.
Speaker 1: So don't neglect hearing testimonials, hearing the impact you've made
Speaker 1: on your friends' lives, or if you have a freelance,
Speaker 1: gig or a career, how you're being of service with
Speaker 1: your talent and your skills. You are living you know,
Speaker 1: when you live in purpose, that is the fuel to
Speaker 1: keep going. You love it. I love it when people
Speaker 1: come up to us on the street and say, I'm
Speaker 1: listening right now this. I read your book. It helped
Speaker 1: me here two years ago. I found you and I
Speaker 1: got it into this incredible relationship. I got out of
Speaker 1: this challenging relationship or gott in shape because of you
Speaker 1: or what you shared. It's fuel for our purpose to
Speaker 1: have more energy and go you know, bigger at it.
Speaker 1: So be willing to receive that as well and start
Speaker 1: having these conversations. What else shall we leave people with
Speaker 1: as we wrap up episode one? I think my big
Speaker 1: takeaway from today's conversation is we all have to evaluate
Speaker 1: our relationship with money. Do you have a positive relationship
Speaker 1: do you have a negative relationship, Do you have a
Speaker 1: neutral or void relationship? Most of us don't realize that
Speaker 1: we all have a relationship with money. If you don't
Speaker 1: talk about money, that's like not talking to someone, right,
Speaker 1: That's what it is. If you don't talk about money,
Speaker 1: then your relationship is you don't communicate with that person.
Speaker 1: Then you can have negative communication, you have negative thoughts
Speaker 1: about that person, you have negative feelings towards that person,
Speaker 1: or you have positive feelings and healthy feelings. Figure out
Speaker 1: your relationship. And the quote or the wisdom that changed
Speaker 1: my relationship with money was this beautiful thought by Martin
Speaker 1: Luther King, which was that the people who love peace,
Speaker 1: and I believe I'm a person who loves peace, I
Speaker 1: believe you are. That the people who love peace need
Speaker 1: to learn to organize themselves as well as those who
Speaker 1: love war. Absolutely, And what I realized was that the
Speaker 1: challenge with spirituality or positivity in the world was that
Speaker 1: it was not organized enough. An organization requires finances, businesses, structure, operations, implementation,
Speaker 1: and so to me that was something that really made
Speaker 1: me realize that if I truly believe I want to
Speaker 1: positively improve the world, I have to think about money.
Speaker 1: It's not my goal, it's not my obsession, it's not
Speaker 1: my priority, but I can't ignore it because if I
Speaker 1: ignore it, it's going to negatively impact of There's another
Speaker 1: like viral or quote online that says it's better to
Speaker 1: be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in
Speaker 1: a war, and I think it's we need to train
Speaker 1: ourselves to be prepared for the financial world, for the
Speaker 1: ups and downs of the financial world, for just the
Speaker 1: world in general that has a lot of ups and downs,
Speaker 1: and be prepared for all of it with a spiritual
Speaker 1: practice and a financial practice as well. I think that's
Speaker 1: the key so that you're not stressed when life comes
Speaker 1: at you with war, because there will be some war
Speaker 1: at some point, whether it be metaphorical or spiritual war,
Speaker 1: or we're on something right, and for us to be
Speaker 1: prepared on both financially spiritually and be working on both
Speaker 1: of those will be so key. So if you guys
Speaker 1: enjoyed this conversation, let us know in the comments below
Speaker 1: and tell us what topic you want us to go
Speaker 1: over next in this series with me and Jay. Also
Speaker 1: make sure you check out Jay's show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
Speaker 1: on Purpose with Jay Htty may Sho check it out
Speaker 1: subscribe their subscribe over on Jay's YouTube channel as well.
Speaker 1: Below we'll have all this stuff linked up. We're gonna
Speaker 1: be doing a series of this back and forth, so
Speaker 1: the next episode will be on Jay's show and then
Speaker 1: we'll come back here on the School of Greatness. So
Speaker 1: make sure you subscribe to Jay so you can get
Speaker 1: all the content we do together in this series where
Speaker 1: we're covering uncomfortable you need taboo topics around life. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for listening to that episode. If you
Speaker 1: want more of those, tag us on Instagram let us
Speaker 1: know what you learned, what you took away. I can't
Speaker 1: wait to do more conversations like this, and thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to On Purpose.