Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow. A lot changed in
Speaker 1: the length of Kanye's name, the energy level of our president,
Speaker 1: my in laws, Hulu password. But one thing that didn't
Speaker 1: change is that people still fell for anything. You know
Speaker 1: how they say a sucker is born every minute. Well,
Speaker 1: this year there was more sucking going on than an
Speaker 1: orgy at the Dyson factory. Starting with one of the
Speaker 1: most ridiculous scams. People fell for n f t s
Speaker 1: otherwise known as non fungible tokens. It's basically when you
Speaker 1: buy the rights to a piece of digital art and
Speaker 1: hang onto your Apple wallets. They got pretty expensive. Two
Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars for a Lebron James dunking clip, six
Speaker 1: hundred thousand for I don't even know what that is
Speaker 1: in the middle, and millions for Jack Dorsey's first tweet.
Speaker 1: This image of digital toilet paper is worth yea bucks
Speaker 1: for digital toilet paper. I guess it'll come in handy
Speaker 1: and I have to take a dump. In the metaverse, Sadly,
Speaker 1: gullible idiots spent millions on n f t s thinking
Speaker 1: they have actual value, when in reality they can become
Speaker 1: worthless at any time, which I found out the hard
Speaker 1: way when I sold my house to buy this n
Speaker 1: f D of a dog wearing pantyhose. What can I say?
Speaker 1: I love art. My next favorite scam of was the
Speaker 1: meme stock. All year long, people were pumping money into
Speaker 1: terrible businesses just because the Internet thought it was cool.
Speaker 1: It was the financial equivalent of the tide Pod Challenge,
Speaker 1: and no stock was more memed than Game Stop. It
Speaker 1: stocked a bit, declining in value for a long time
Speaker 1: because it's a store that tries to sell you video
Speaker 1: games that you can download at home. And if there's
Speaker 1: one thing gamers love, it's leaving their house ever. But
Speaker 1: of course, like all meme stocks, this whole thing is
Speaker 1: just a big roller coaster ride, and the only question
Speaker 1: is who's the sucker Who's gonna be left holding the
Speaker 1: bag when the price crashes. It turns out it was me.
Speaker 1: I bought it at the top. Not totally my fault.
Speaker 1: My cousin is a hedge fund manager, and he assured
Speaker 1: me that this thing was full proof. Anyway, He's living
Speaker 1: in Turks and Caicos now and I'm living in an
Speaker 1: airport La Quinta. But let's move from Wall Street to
Speaker 1: Pennsylvania Avenue, home of the scam that kicked off, is
Speaker 1: somehow still going strong. It's the biggest lie since that
Speaker 1: Fedora looks great on you. Trump's claims of voter fraud.
Speaker 1: He and the GOLP convinced his supporters that Joe Biden
Speaker 1: stole the election, which led to the January six insurrection
Speaker 1: a k a Q cella Maga palooza, white stock. I mean, guys,
Speaker 1: come on, if the election had been rigged, we would
Speaker 1: know by now, probably because Biden would have accidentally set
Speaker 1: it in a speech. The man has no filter. But instead,
Speaker 1: people were foolishly led to believe that they could actually
Speaker 1: stop the election from being certified. But the truth is
Speaker 1: that was never possible. Unfortunately, I only found that out
Speaker 1: after I got maced by Capitol police inside Chuck Schumer's office.
Speaker 1: I got his mouse bad as a souvenir, though still
Speaker 1: has some chicken salad stains on it. Anyway, as I
Speaker 1: said up my bail hearing, I deeply regret my participation.
Speaker 1: Let's move on to CRT, or critical race theory. This
Speaker 1: was a big scam spread by right wing culture warriors
Speaker 1: that suggested your kids elementary school was teaching white kids
Speaker 1: that slavery was their fault, and some parents they bought
Speaker 1: at hook line and sinker. The Western culture and values
Speaker 1: that brought forth Christianity and the founding documents are being
Speaker 1: called evil and racist cancer. Just because I do not
Speaker 1: want critical race theory taught to my children in school
Speaker 1: does not mean that I have a racist Damn c
Speaker 1: RT is evil. If I lived in the school zone
Speaker 1: or had a kid, I would pull him out of
Speaker 1: this school forever. Oh yeah, I forgot that I was
Speaker 1: part of that too, so I got got again. But
Speaker 1: the scam that best sums up is without a doubt,
Speaker 1: Iver Mecton. It was the medicine for people who would
Speaker 1: take anything to prevent COVID except for the free and
Speaker 1: effective vaccine that could prevent COVID. So some pretty twisted
Speaker 1: individuals took this opportunity to promote the idea that a
Speaker 1: veterinary grade horse de Wermer could prevent and treat COVID,
Speaker 1: and people fell for it so bad that pet stores
Speaker 1: even started selling out of it, which really sucks for
Speaker 1: the horses. It's bad enough humans give them names like
Speaker 1: Daddy's Velvet and Smoky Midnight Blossom. Now people were taking
Speaker 1: all their medicine, although full disclosure, I did take some,
Speaker 1: but in my defense, it seemed like such a bad
Speaker 1: idea that it made me think maybe it wasn't a
Speaker 1: bad idea. That's how they get you sometimes. Anyway, long
Speaker 1: story short, I came down with something my vet is
Speaker 1: calling horse diarrhea. I don't know exactly what that means,
Speaker 1: because that's the clinical term. But to be honest, I've
Speaker 1: never felt so worm free and my entire your life.
Speaker 1: So as we go into two, let's take with us
Speaker 1: the lessons we learned this year. Stay vigilant, be smart,
Speaker 1: and do your own research, but not in the crazy way.
Speaker 1: The only way to protect yourself from getting scammed is
Speaker 1: to Oh, holy sh it. Bill Gates just emailed me
Speaker 1: and he wants to send me some cash. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be rich. Who whoo whoo. Watch The Daily Show weeknights
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