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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute

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Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot.

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Speaker 2: I cut off my ex wife's daughter after divorce. She

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Speaker 2: treated me like an ATM. Give me the money, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I need help. Am I the ale for cutting off

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Speaker 2: my former stepdaughter. The background is I married her mom,

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Speaker 2: raised my stepdaughter since she was nine, gave her everything

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Speaker 2: she wanted, supported her in all of her extracurricular activities.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Big Stretch thirty six

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Speaker 2: forty five and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay.

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Speaker 3: Storytime suppered it.

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Speaker 2: So when her car broke down and was too expensive

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Speaker 2: to fix, I let her use my dream car, a

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Speaker 2: Dodge Challenger. When she went to college, I promised her

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Speaker 2: she would come out debt free. Oh yeah, and when

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Speaker 2: she needed money or her rent paid, I would pay

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Speaker 2: it and sacrifice the last little bit of cash I

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Speaker 2: had for I am in the middle of divorcing her

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Speaker 2: mom right now, and she said she doesn't want to

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Speaker 2: be in the middle of things, but things I tell

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Speaker 2: her somehow, would get back to her mom here and there.

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Speaker 2: Now she's living with her mom since graduating college. My

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Speaker 2: ex wife accused me of deleting all of her social media,

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Speaker 2: and my stepdaughter believed her and went off on me

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Speaker 2: and told me I need to move on another thing.

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Speaker 2: But I showed her proof I didn't do any of that.

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Speaker 2: My stepdaughter didn't apologize for her accusations. My stepdaughter has

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Speaker 2: blocked me on her social media, blocked me on her phone,

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Speaker 2: which I pay for. I also pay for her health

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Speaker 2: insurance and the car insurance. My lawyer has given me

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Speaker 2: the green light to cut off my stepdaughter. So I

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Speaker 2: am asking before I do it, for suggestions and to

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Speaker 2: see if I am the ale and there is an update, folks,

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Speaker 2: But what do you think?

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Speaker 4: I'm so confused by that one. I'm not sure why. Okay,

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Speaker 4: so I can explain.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, OHP is divorced, that was married to his stepdaughter's mom.

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Speaker 3: Yes for a while, Yes, since she was nine.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 2: I doesn't exactly say how old she is now. It

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Speaker 2: might be in the she wasn't living with mom for

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Speaker 2: a while. I believe she's like gone to college or

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Speaker 2: is in college.

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Speaker 4: Maybe, But then it sounded like she was back with mom,

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Speaker 4: but the other persons still paying for stuff.

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Speaker 3: He's oh, he's still paying for all okay, okay stuff.

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Speaker 2: Basically the point is that he's still paying for all

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Speaker 2: of that stuff, and now she's basically being lied to

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Speaker 2: by her mom right about all of these like saying, oh,

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Speaker 2: like op, he did this and this and this, and

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Speaker 2: she's taking her mom's side and is blocked op and

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Speaker 2: Opie's like, should I cut her off?

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Speaker 4: That she should cut her off?

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Speaker 3: I think he I think that she's cut you off.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, no, I would agree. If if she's not talking

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Speaker 4: to you anymore, how are you gonna.

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Speaker 3: Give her money for stuff? I think That's what I.

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Speaker 4: Was so confused about it. I was like, wait, isn't isn't.

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Speaker 3: She already cut off? Yeah, she's cut herself off. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And if she's if you know, she's going to realize,

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Speaker 2: oh wow, he was paying for everything.

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Speaker 4: Right, and then maybe she'll come back, come back.

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Speaker 2: But thank you for the comments. I've read them all.

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Speaker 2: So I've decided to try and reach.

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Speaker 3: Out to her.

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Speaker 2: Okay, good, there we go, see if that works. I've

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Speaker 2: also decided to take a step back and try and

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Speaker 2: not to let my emotions get to me. I also

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Speaker 2: decided to say no more to being an ATM for

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Speaker 2: I think that's great.

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Speaker 4: You can still like close things off nicely.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I also have seen about the health insurance, and y'all

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Speaker 2: are right. I have to wait for the divorce to

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Speaker 2: be final to take her off of that. The car

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Speaker 2: and phone, I have decided to give her a timetable

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Speaker 2: to get her own and then shut the phone off

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Speaker 2: and then take the car back. It seems like, oh,

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Speaker 2: he's kind of still on the you know, cut off financially. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but don't do it so like suddenly, yeah, which I

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Speaker 2: think is fair like period there. Yeah, I know this

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Speaker 2: is not a huge update or me going full nuclear

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Speaker 2: assaulting the earth kind of way. Yes, some of you

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Speaker 2: will see me as being soft. But I raised that

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Speaker 2: girl since she was little.

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Speaker 3: Great point.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a girl he's done since she was nine.

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Speaker 2: Here bio dad was a piece of work and was

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Speaker 2: never there for her. As for her mom, well, that's

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Speaker 2: a whole other Reddit post, and there is a second update.

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Speaker 2: I think reaching out is good. I still think that

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Speaker 2: he could he would be fine if he cut her

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Speaker 2: off financially, but I think that let's talk first.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I do think that him doing it slowly,

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Speaker 4: slowly is like the perfect way of being like you

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Speaker 4: have time to figure it out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I had a meeting with my lawyer and things

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Speaker 2: went okay as much as possible. Like I said, I

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Speaker 2: will have to put a post about me and my

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Speaker 2: ex and what we are going through on a different

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Speaker 2: post for my stepdaughter. While I told her I am

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Speaker 2: blocked her on my phone and I would like to

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Speaker 2: talk to her. The first thing she said to me

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Speaker 2: was are you going to update the tags on my car?

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Speaker 2: Remind you this is my dream car that has everything

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Speaker 2: under my name. I realized that is all she cares

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Speaker 2: about her lifestyle and what she can get from me.

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Speaker 2: Needless to say, it broke me at that point. So

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Speaker 2: I called my lawyer and we have to get through

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Speaker 2: some motions I have submitted to the court, and she said,

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Speaker 2: then we can get to the car. Unfortunately, the car

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Speaker 2: is part of the divorce. So I told my lawyer

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Speaker 2: that my ex and her daughter can either pay me

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Speaker 2: the fair market value of the car or I get

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Speaker 2: the car back, simple as that. So we will have

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Speaker 2: to wait and see what happens after my next court

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Speaker 2: date on a personal level. I gotta admit this freakin

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Speaker 2: sucks a lot. It has hurt me so much to

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Speaker 2: realize all that time I was good for what I

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Speaker 2: provided in not being a dad to her. I am

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Speaker 2: glad I got good insurance from the company I worked

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Speaker 2: for because I have decided to seek some therapy to

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Speaker 2: help me out because as veterans know, the VA sucks.

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Speaker 2: And update three things I've improved with my daughter. Oh

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Speaker 2: I was about to say.

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Speaker 4: I was like, wow, I just be like, Okay, that's

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Speaker 4: done them.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, But it took her getting into a minor accident

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Speaker 2: and being scared half to death calling me in tears

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Speaker 2: to talk to me. So I worked a double light

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Speaker 2: shift and graveyard shift and slept. My stepdaughter called me

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Speaker 2: and needed me. I dragged my body out of bed,

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Speaker 2: got dressed, grabbed my tools.

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Speaker 3: And went to where she was.

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Speaker 2: The damage to the car was minor at worst. She

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Speaker 2: came out of her work and ran up to me

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Speaker 2: with tears in her eyes and hugged me. Okay, not

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Speaker 2: gonna lie. I was caught off guard, but at that

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Speaker 2: moment I didn't see anything else but my little girl.

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Speaker 3: Needing her stepdad there for her. Stop. I was literally

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Speaker 3: about to cast judgment.

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Speaker 2: I waited, leave, leave, and then I said, wait, let's

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Speaker 2: read the update.

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Speaker 3: And it was nice. She's just a silly girl. She's learning.

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Speaker 3: I was learning, and your papa, oh me.

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Speaker 2: She told me what happened. I asked her why she

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Speaker 2: didn't stop. She said she was scared and was running

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Speaker 2: late to work. I looked over the car and got

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Speaker 2: the bumper back and play with some tools and paracord

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Speaker 2: for a temporary solution. I called my insurance and got

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Speaker 2: it fixed while I was working on the car, and

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Speaker 2: we started to talk and laid all of our cars

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Speaker 2: on the table. I apologized for all the mean and

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Speaker 2: hurtful things I had said and told her she's still my.

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Speaker 3: Daughter and I love her very much. Okay, she said

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Speaker 3: she loved me too, and I'm her dad.

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Speaker 4: Okay, give her Okay, give her.

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Speaker 2: All the money, give anything I told her. For now,

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Speaker 2: we can give each other's space and time to heal.

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Speaker 2: And when she's ready to talk again, I am there

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Speaker 2: and the door is always open to her. But she

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Speaker 2: has started to stand on her own two feet, and

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Speaker 2: I'll guide her on how to do it. It will

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Speaker 2: be hard, but she can do it with the education

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Speaker 2: she asked for the ex wife. She's still a knucklehead

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Speaker 2: to me, but things are moving along with that. In mediation,

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Speaker 2: I told her I either want the car back or

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Speaker 2: I get a fair market value for the Challenger. She

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Speaker 2: hit the roof when I said that. She thought I

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Speaker 2: was just going to give up my dream car. I

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Speaker 2: talk at least once a week to my stepdaughter on

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Speaker 2: the phone. I see my kids more often, but still

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Speaker 2: get resistance from my ex wife. But my kids are

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Speaker 2: back in my life.

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Speaker 3: That's what matters to me.

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Speaker 2: Things will take time, and I understand that. Oh last thing,

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Speaker 2: my stepdaughter wants me to meet my wants to meet

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Speaker 2: my girlfriend and have dinner with us.

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Speaker 3: So that's good. I guess. I know this isn't the update.

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Speaker 3: Y'all want exactly what This is what I wanted.

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Speaker 5: This is why I wanted.

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Speaker 2: But the most important thing to me is to not

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Speaker 2: be the villain in my kid's books. I can be

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Speaker 2: the villain everywhere else except.

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Speaker 3: To my kids. More updates to come when I got them.

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Speaker 3: There is a last update. This is really nice. It's

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Speaker 3: so wholesome. I really like this.

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Speaker 4: I was kind of hoping I'm not gonna lie that

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Speaker 4: he was gonna be like, let's work out a deal

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Speaker 4: where you, like pay me for the car. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I thought that she's learned and she's I think it

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Speaker 2: seems that she is genuinely apologetic. However, I don't think

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Speaker 2: this means that you go back to the same way.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't. I think we can.

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Speaker 2: I think we can hold off on a full financial

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Speaker 2: cut off.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, but I think it does like if there had

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Speaker 6: been a deal for like her to just take over payments,

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Speaker 6: there's something which it sounds like that kind of is

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Speaker 6: what it was like the give me the car or

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Speaker 6: pay me for the car.

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Speaker 2: I think that's where we should end here. I think

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Speaker 2: that that should be like the solution, Like she learns

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Speaker 2: a little bit of what you're doing for her, and

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Speaker 2: you work on your relationship together.

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Speaker 4: And it was happening and it was so.

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Speaker 3: Sweet, which is a little bit more scared.

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Speaker 2: So my stepdaughter texted and called me making small talk

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Speaker 2: about this and that I thought our bond was coming back.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no no. I couldn't really talk

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Speaker 2: long because I was dealing with work stuff. The next day,

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Speaker 2: she texted me with her usual text hout. She messages

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Speaker 2: me asking if I was awake since I work chaotic

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Speaker 2: hours for my job. I told her I was awake

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Speaker 2: and just having my coffee. She said she needs a

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Speaker 2: favor from me, and I asked what is it. She

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Speaker 2: asked me to pay her copay for the insurance for

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Speaker 2: doctor's appointment. I asked how much it was and she

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Speaker 2: told me it was almost all I had left in

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Speaker 2: my account. I told her that I would take the

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Speaker 2: last of my money, and she texted, me, well, can

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Speaker 2: you do it or not? I told her no, I

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Speaker 2: need that money for gas and food. She said, fine,

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Speaker 2: never mind, I'll just cancel my appointment, and I texted back,

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry I couldn't help her, but I was already blocked.

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Speaker 2: I guess I'm nothing more than a piggy bank. I

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Speaker 2: really thought things were improving.

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Speaker 3: Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

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Speaker 5: I have been lood to cut her off.

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Speaker 4: I'm just cut her off. I'm just sad now.

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Speaker 3: I'm pissed off.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I've been betraying rola coaster emotional rollo

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Speaker 2: coaster cut her off.

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Speaker 3: Utterer off.

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Speaker 4: Why is that all the money you have in your

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Speaker 4: guy is.

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Speaker 3: Off your gun get more money? It's I'm giving your

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Speaker 3: money to your daughter. If this is all the money,

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Speaker 3: why were you paying in the first place, you don't

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Speaker 3: have any money? Cut her off. Oh well, that's the

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Speaker 3: end of that story, folks.

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Speaker 7: I had to walk away from my sick father. He

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Speaker 7: never appreciated me.

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Speaker 3: Oh boy, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 5: You ready to get sad, everybody? Probably?

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Speaker 7: I twenty six mail have two sisters eighteen and twenty three,

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Speaker 7: from the same mom and dad in their fifties. When

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Speaker 7: I was sixteen, my parents went through a messy divorce

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Speaker 7: which resulted in my sister's staying with my mom and

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Speaker 7: me staying with my dad. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 7: from user ah Layton, and if you want to submit

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Speaker 7: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

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Speaker 7: subburt it.

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Speaker 3: So.

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Speaker 7: My dad is disabled and has been unable to work

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Speaker 7: due to a long list of medical issues since I

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Speaker 7: was sixteen. He has kidney failure and is currently on

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Speaker 7: dialysis while waiting for a transplant. This is meant that

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Speaker 7: I have been looking after him in a variety of

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Speaker 7: caretaker ways for a decade now. Throughout this time, his

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Speaker 7: contact with my two sisters has been minimal. He has

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Speaker 7: in the past allowed my eldest sister to claim benefits

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Speaker 7: that she was not entitled to by claiming to be

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Speaker 7: a care for my father, amongst others. She has at

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Speaker 7: no point in her life provided care for my dad.

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Speaker 7: This caused many fights between my dad and I, as

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Speaker 7: I felt he was allowing her to commit fraud just

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Speaker 7: so he could feel like he.

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Speaker 5: Was helping her.

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Speaker 7: I was recently contacted by his doctor who told me

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Speaker 7: that my dad was no longer on the transplant list

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Speaker 7: to receive the kidney transplant he needs. Apparently his health

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Speaker 7: is now so poor that they don't know for sure

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Speaker 7: if he'll survive general anesthetics for the operation.

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Speaker 5: That's terrible.

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Speaker 7: I was told that a major factor for this was

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Speaker 7: his poor diet, which was exacerbating.

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Speaker 5: His existing health. Ish hearing this.

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Speaker 7: My wife and I decided to move back in with

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Speaker 7: my dad to try and get him onto a healthier

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Speaker 7: diet to hopefully prepare his body for the transplant he needs.

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Speaker 7: After we moved in, I was going through his most

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Speaker 7: recent letters when I discovered a letter informing him that

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Speaker 7: my youngest sister had applied for a grant for young

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Speaker 7: carers as a result of caring for him. My dad

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Speaker 7: is lucky to see my sister once a month, let

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Speaker 7: alone the sixteen hours a week this grant requires. I

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Speaker 7: confronted him and he said he was just trying to

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Speaker 7: help her out in any way he could. This again

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Speaker 7: led to a massive fight, as currently me and my

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Speaker 7: wife are the only family members actually supporting him. My

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Speaker 7: sisters do nothing for him. They are both adults, and

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Speaker 7: yet neither have lifted a single finger once to help him.

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Speaker 7: And yet here he is, again, essentially committing fraud to

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Speaker 7: help them out. We can't help but feel taken for

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Speaker 7: granted and simply unappreciated. Okay, I understand that totally. I

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Speaker 7: agree is his fraud. It's also a dad helping out

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Speaker 7: his daughters that he's estranged from, essentially, And I guarantee

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Speaker 7: you if you applied for these grants, he'd help you.

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Speaker 7: I don't think he would say I'm not going to

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Speaker 7: help you with this. I just don't think you're doing

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Speaker 7: anything like that, which is fine.

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Speaker 5: Maybe you don't need it.

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Speaker 7: I don't know if being angry at him for helping

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Speaker 7: your sisters in a sort of deceitful way is really.

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Speaker 5: What you're mad about. I don't know. It's just so complicated.

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Speaker 3: I could see that, like there's some other things going on,

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Speaker 3: maybe some resentment from past things.

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Speaker 7: There's grief, and there's you know, the stress of like

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Speaker 7: his health is failing him. It's like, I don't know

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Speaker 7: if he knows that your sisters are just using this money.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 7: But there's a lot going on here. We can't help

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Speaker 7: but feel taken for granted and simply unappreciated. We do

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Speaker 7: everything we possibly can for him. We sacrifice time, energy,

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Speaker 7: and money to ensure he has a more comfortable life.

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Speaker 7: But time and time again, he chooses to focus his

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Speaker 7: energy on helping my sisters cheat their way to funds

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Speaker 7: and benefits they don't deserve. He's never once to ask

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Speaker 7: them to help him. So the burden of responsibility for

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00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:10,120
Speaker 7: his care rests entirely on our shoulders, despite the fact

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Speaker 7: that of the three siblings, I'm the only one not

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Speaker 7: currently receiving any benefit related to his care.

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Speaker 5: Are you applying for them?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 7: Are you actively seeking out these benefits? Good questions because

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Speaker 7: if you are and he's being like no, then that's crazy.

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Speaker 7: But if you're not, and he doesn't have any idea

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Speaker 7: that you would want them, then that's more of a

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Speaker 7: you problem.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it can't be too mad at him for that.

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Speaker 7: We are now the point where we are considering pulling

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Speaker 7: all our support financial and physical, and leaving his care

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Speaker 7: entirely to the two women who are actually benefiting from

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Speaker 7: quote unquote providing it. Would I be the a hole

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Speaker 7: for withdrawing support from my father? Consensus is not the

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Speaker 7: a whole? However, have we had conversations? Have we talked

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00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,240
Speaker 7: before you press the big red nuclear bomb button, just

343
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,040
Speaker 7: like talk out all of your feelings with your dad?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're missing information for this decision, Like maybe there's

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Speaker 3: more to this that we're just not seeing or something.

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Speaker 7: It feels like it shouldn't be like a should I

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00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,600
Speaker 7: cut my dad off? It should be like should I

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00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,479
Speaker 7: confront my sisters for like basically like sort of manipulating

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Speaker 7: him into committing fraud for them?

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Speaker 5: Because of course he's gonna do it.

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Speaker 7: It's his daughters, and he's been as stranger them like

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Speaker 7: he wants them to think.

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Speaker 5: Good of him in any way that he could.

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Speaker 7: I'm sure I would say if you do this without

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Speaker 7: communicating to your father and also like applying for these

356
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Speaker 7: same benefits, that it sounds like you are completely eligible

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00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,760
Speaker 7: for in a non fraudulent way, Like, if you don't

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Speaker 7: do all of that before you cut off your dad,

359
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,520
Speaker 7: you're the a hole, and you'll be the a hole

360
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,920
Speaker 7: to yourself more than anyone, because if time goes by

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Speaker 7: and your dad passes and then you look back and

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Speaker 7: you regret doing this, that's you've poisoned yourself.

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Speaker 5: Why would you do that?

364
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Speaker 7: Comments As someone who is highly familiar with this family

365
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,040
Speaker 7: dynamic and has read a lot of books about this,

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Speaker 7: let me rephrase the question.

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Speaker 5: Would I be the a hole if I withdraw my.

368
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,880
Speaker 7: Unappreciated long term support from my dad, who has been

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00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:07,960
Speaker 7: deliberately neglecting me the entire time while passing all my

370
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,200
Speaker 7: benefits to my absence but entitled siblings who don't even

371
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Speaker 7: see him often.

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Speaker 5: Not the a hole.

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Speaker 7: It is not your fault that he is knowingly applying

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Speaker 7: double standards, rewarding the neglect of his favorites and grooming

375
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Speaker 7: them to be entitled, and punishing and invalidating the sacrifice

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Speaker 7: of his designated scapegoat.

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Speaker 5: I didn't see any of that.

378
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 3: I wonder if this comment is actually getting this from

379
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,440
Speaker 3: this story, or is protecting their own experience onto it.

380
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,360
Speaker 3: Filling in the gaps.

381
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, I didn't see any explicit examples of like neglect

382
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Speaker 7: or like him taking advantage. It really seems more like

383
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,560
Speaker 7: your problem comes from your sisters getting these benefits when

384
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Speaker 7: you could get them.

385
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Speaker 3: Yeah. I do feel like there's just more to the story.

386
00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,840
Speaker 3: The first part of it before the question felt too short.

387
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 7: Let's keep going. He can't have it both ways. It's

388
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Speaker 7: time to set things straight. If he truly appreciates your efforts,

389
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,120
Speaker 7: then he should have given the benefits to you. This

390
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 7: is the problem. He didn't give the benefit. Yeah, the

391
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:05,159
Speaker 7: sisters applied for the benefits and then he like signed

392
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,520
Speaker 7: off on, like yeah, they are doing this stuff, so

393
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,879
Speaker 7: it's not like he has like a pool of benefits

394
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,920
Speaker 7: to give out. They went and applied for them, and

395
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,200
Speaker 7: he lied on the paperwork in that story, I never

396
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,800
Speaker 7: heard him tell Op, I won't help you get benefits

397
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,240
Speaker 7: for being my care It does.

398
00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,359
Speaker 3: Really feel like you said earlier, like she should be

399
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Speaker 3: mad at the sisters.

400
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:26,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

401
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,000
Speaker 7: I feel like that's where all of Op's frustrations really

402
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,800
Speaker 7: are at, is that he feels like I'm being not

403
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:34,680
Speaker 7: acknowledged because I'm not getting benefits while the sisters who

404
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 7: are doing nothing are when really it has nothing to

405
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,119
Speaker 7: do with what you're doing for your dad. It has

406
00:17:38,119 --> 00:17:40,560
Speaker 7: to do with your dad wanting to get brownie points

407
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:45,159
Speaker 7: with his daughters. I'm sure if you expressed you wanted benefits, maybe.

408
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 5: He doesn't think you need them. Maybe he doesn't think

409
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 5: you want them.

410
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially if you've been vocal about the fraud that's

411
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,679
Speaker 3: involved and not liking that, then he's probably like she

412
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,080
Speaker 3: probably doesn't want to be involved. I won't get her

413
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 3: in trouble.

414
00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:58,040
Speaker 5: Right.

415
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,600
Speaker 7: If he wants to give the benefit to others, then

416
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:04,200
Speaker 7: you should pass the responsibility to them. The ones who

417
00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:06,679
Speaker 7: answered you're the ahole or everyone sucks, you're probably not

418
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,320
Speaker 7: from toxic families with toxic parents who are neglecting but

419
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,959
Speaker 7: quick to demand the scapegoat child's perfection and time, energy,

420
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 7: and money. It's easy to use compassion in taking care

421
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,520
Speaker 7: of the elderly to guilt someone else into staying in

422
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:21,399
Speaker 7: an unfair setup when it doesn't involve any sacrifice on

423
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,600
Speaker 7: your part. Edit to address a comment below. My conclusion

424
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,720
Speaker 7: is based on the information presented. He's neglecting of himself

425
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,879
Speaker 7: while he feels entitled to the designated scapegoat's time, money,

426
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,600
Speaker 7: and energy to cater for his needs while giving nothing

427
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,720
Speaker 7: in return and choosing to glorify and prioritize the other

428
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:40,560
Speaker 7: children instead. That's a neglect and lack of gratitude. It's

429
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:44,400
Speaker 7: not extrapolation, it's deduction. No, stop it, guy, you're deducing

430
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 7: regardless of what it is, you're filling in gaps that

431
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,280
Speaker 7: are not clear. Okay, so here we go. This I

432
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,639
Speaker 7: might agree with a little more. It's not about whether

433
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:58,520
Speaker 7: it's the actual monetary values big, it's about the unfair treatment, invalidation,

434
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 7: and double standards. We all have difficulties and insecurities, but

435
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:06,240
Speaker 7: they're not an excuse to deliberately treat others horribly. Again,

436
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 7: didn't really see a whole lot of horrible treatment. Yeah,

437
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:15,080
Speaker 7: I didn't hear any conversation or communication happening between OPI

438
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:16,200
Speaker 7: and their father.

439
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 5: None.

440
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 7: I heard no expression of these feelings or thoughts between

441
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 7: these two people until I hear that. I don't think

442
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,159
Speaker 7: you should cut off anything. Work out your issues with

443
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 7: your dad. This is all an emotional problem, especially if

444
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 7: he's having so many help, is using possibly at the

445
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 7: end of his life.

446
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 3: Right, Like, this is the time to not just like

447
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,639
Speaker 3: stop communication before having a conversation first, like start with

448
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,959
Speaker 3: communication before you decide to stop communication.

449
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,439
Speaker 7: And then like that commenter being like that it's like,

450
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 7: oh he's being Gasolin and taking care of the elderly.

451
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 7: It's like not even that, Like it's just like, that's

452
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 7: your dad, and if you make the decision to like

453
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,119
Speaker 7: pull yourself out of his life when he needs help,

454
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:01,120
Speaker 7: like and then he passes, it's gonna bother you forever.

455
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 7: So in a selfish way, you shouldn't cut him off

456
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 7: because it's gonna only impact you in a worse way,

457
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 7: especially because so far it sounds like you're gonna go,

458
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 7: oh my god, I didn't even really have an issue

459
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 7: with my dad. I had an issue with my sisters.

460
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,680
Speaker 7: Oh my god, and I cut off my dad.

461
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 3: I really hope that Ope figures that out. Let's find out.

462
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,440
Speaker 7: Not the a hole, I'm not sure I'd be able

463
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 7: to stop caring for him, but the petty in me

464
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 7: would be contacting whoever portions out those grants to let

465
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 7: them know the truth. Pretty fed up that they're comfortable

466
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 7: taking that money when it should be going to people

467
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,640
Speaker 7: who are actually cares and who need it, which is true,

468
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,120
Speaker 7: Op says exactly. My thoughts too, says another commenter. If

469
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 7: it was only them it impacted, i'd have reported it immediately,

470
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 7: but unfortunately there's a chance he'd lose his benefits to

471
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 7: as a result of it. Personally, I just can't wrap

472
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,399
Speaker 7: my head around the kind of person who's okay with

473
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 7: taking money meant for cares with zero intention to actually

474
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 7: care for anyone. The entitlement is unreal. Ope comments. I

475
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,280
Speaker 7: will say that during UNI, I did qualify for a

476
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 7: low income support grant as my dad was my sole

477
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 7: parent supporting me. Mom wanted nothing to do with me,

478
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,239
Speaker 7: so I did receive that in help. That's about it,

479
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 7: though I know that I have no responsibility to help

480
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 7: and that ultimately I'm only doing this because I love him,

481
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 7: But that's what makes the decision all the harder.

482
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:18,400
Speaker 5: I've been the only one willing to help, so.

483
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 7: I really worry for how much long term damage will

484
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 7: be done to his health as a result of pulling support,

485
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,720
Speaker 7: which is why you shouldn't do it.

486
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 5: Did you hear exactly what you just said?

487
00:21:28,119 --> 00:21:31,360
Speaker 7: I love him, I really worry what kind of long

488
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 7: term damage would be done if I pull my support,

489
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 7: So don't.

490
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 5: Because that will eat a hole through you forever.

491
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 7: The current boundary we set with him was to tell

492
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,399
Speaker 7: my youngest sister that he won't assist her in getting

493
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 7: the care or support that she applied for unless she

494
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 7: actually comes around and helps him. That was yesterday and

495
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 7: he still hasn't spoken with her. If he can't do that,

496
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,560
Speaker 7: then the balance of support or don't support would definitely

497
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 7: shift more towards don't support. We are comfortable financially and

498
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,440
Speaker 7: are no longer students, so are no longer eligible for

499
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 7: any financial support. I have never received any benefits for

500
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 7: his care, though due to being in full time education

501
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 7: at the time, the rules around this may have changed now.

502
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 7: I have repeatedly asked my sisters to help my dad

503
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,119
Speaker 7: with specific reference to the benefits they receive as a

504
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 7: result of his disability. The response every time has been

505
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 7: f off. This is between me and Dad. I don't

506
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 7: give an f what you think. Paraphrase but not far off,

507
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,439
Speaker 7: which makes sense because those are the sisters.

508
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 5: They were raised by.

509
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,080
Speaker 7: The mom who didn't want anything to do with OPI,

510
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 7: so sisters probably have a pretty negatively impacted bias about

511
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 7: their brother. I wish he would convince them to help

512
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 7: him financially, but it'll never happen. He's refused to in

513
00:22:38,359 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 7: the past as he sees that as hurting them. He

514
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 7: does feel guilt at not providing for them, but they

515
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 7: lived with my mother, who was and is comfortably middle

516
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 7: slash upper middle class with no concerns for money whatsoever,

517
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 7: so they're not dependent. I have only received a grant

518
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 7: for low income support for UNI, as he was the

519
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 7: only parent I had, supporting me nothing else. My eldest

520
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 7: sister has also received this byoting him down as her

521
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 7: sole parent despite living with my well off mother, as

522
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,520
Speaker 7: well as a car that he receives for his care.

523
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 7: I was expecting to receive this car significantly cheaper rental

524
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 7: and insurance compared to normal, and then use it for

525
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 7: us while I live with him, but he instead decided

526
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:16,879
Speaker 7: to give it to my sister when she passed her

527
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:19,560
Speaker 7: test first, and then refused to take it back and

528
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 7: give it to me. This car is supposed to be

529
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 7: exclusively for his care and nothing else. In the four

530
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,720
Speaker 7: years she has had it, she has never used it

531
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 7: for him once, although she does pay the rental for it.

532
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 7: The support my youngest sister's requesting won't impact me, but

533
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,400
Speaker 7: will be another instance of him willing to bend over

534
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 7: backwards and break the law to help them despite nothing

535
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 7: in return. I will say that my attitude towards them

536
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 7: getting benefits they don't deserve and aren't entitled to is

537
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,439
Speaker 7: definitely impacted by our upbringing. Post divorce, I lived with

538
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 7: my dad, whose sole income was benefits. We lived in poverty,

539
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 7: but may do as best as we could. My mother, however,

540
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 7: is fairly successful in her career and lives a very

541
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,760
Speaker 7: comfortable life with enough of her own income let alone

542
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 7: combined with her husband, to give my sisters everything they

543
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 7: could want and more. She has contributed nothing to me

544
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,479
Speaker 7: financially since the age of sixteen, and was even claiming

545
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 7: childcare from my dad for my sisters despite us being

546
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 7: in poverty. So it sounds like your issue is not

547
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 7: with your dad at all.

548
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 3: Wake up, bo pie.

549
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,359
Speaker 7: Your dad is a human who wants his daughters to

550
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 7: like him, to love him. He has been estranged from

551
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 7: them by his ex wife, who hates him and you apparently,

552
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 7: and has probably been poisoning them for years. So it's

553
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,880
Speaker 7: not really he doesn't appreciate me or he doesn't care

554
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 7: for me. It's he is blinded by the ceaseless need

555
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 7: to be loved by his own daughters exactly.

556
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 5: That has literally nothing to do with you.

557
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,880
Speaker 7: So please don't cut off his support if you love

558
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 7: him and care about him, just because he can't help

559
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 7: but help his daughters when they ask him to do

560
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,560
Speaker 7: things anyway. With that in mind, I see them trying

561
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 7: to feign poverty and pretend to be poor despite being

562
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 7: comfy upper middle class. As sickening as for my father

563
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 7: enabling that behavior and what it's gotten him. One daughter

564
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 7: won't even call him on his birthday and another calls

565
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 7: him twice a month, and that's it. I want him

566
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 7: to actually stand up to them and go if you're

567
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 7: willing to claim money off the back of my illness,

568
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 7: can you come help me with it? As otherwise the

569
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 7: entirety of that caregiving burden falls on me and my wife,

570
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 7: and quite frankly, we're sick of it being that way.

571
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 7: We have an update from four years later. Four years

572
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 7: is more than enough time to have a conversation. Hopefully

573
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,439
Speaker 7: that happened all of these things, And you know, it

574
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 7: could be that OPI has expressed all of this, but

575
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 7: OPI has not let us know.

576
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 3: You gotta talk to us now communicate to us.

577
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 7: Every last thought and feeling that you're having about this

578
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 7: should be expressed to your dad. And that's all I

579
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 7: have to say. And I hope I'm about to read

580
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 7: that That's exactly what happened me too. Four years later,

581
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 7: I remember this post as my dad's birthday recently passed,

582
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 7: and I thought, but I might as well give an update,

583
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 7: even though.

584
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 5: No one asked.

585
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 7: January twenty twenty three, my father passed away from complete

586
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:07,879
Speaker 7: kidney failure, which is terrible.

587
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 5: It wasn't a surprise to me.

588
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 7: His health had been in decline and a transplant wasn't

589
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:12,679
Speaker 7: going to happen.

590
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 5: The rest of the family, though, were shocked.

591
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 7: The last time he spoke to anyone, I showed him

592
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,160
Speaker 7: the seven week scan of my now two year old son,

593
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 7: his first and only grandchild. We'd rush to get the

594
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 7: earliest scan we could, knowing he didn't have much time.

595
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 7: My son looked like a seahorse tadpole, but at least

596
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,160
Speaker 7: he got to see him. He cried when I showed him,

597
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 7: and we had a short talk about fatherhood before exhaustion

598
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 7: took over.

599
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,959
Speaker 5: He fell asleep and never woke up.

600
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:39,880
Speaker 7: Dang silver lining right got it in at the last second. Hey,

601
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 7: you're me a grandfather. We're having a child. He has thoughts.

602
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 5: We're talking about fatherhood this last conversation. Yeah, that's kind

603
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 5: of beautiful.

604
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:46,639
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

605
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 7: I asked him not to tell anyone since we were

606
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 7: still early and didn't want to jinx it.

607
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 5: He said, I'll take it to the grave and passed

608
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 5: away three days later. He kept his word.

609
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 7: I think seeing the skin and having that moment made

610
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,360
Speaker 7: him pass away peacefully and happy.

611
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 5: As for my sisters, they never changed. I let it go.

612
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,679
Speaker 7: I knew I couldn't change my dad, and he was

613
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,639
Speaker 7: on borrowed time. For his birthday that year, we rented

614
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,719
Speaker 7: a canal boat since he'd always wanted one. He crashed

615
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 7: it almost immediately, and he said, yes, I've always wanted

616
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,280
Speaker 7: to crash a canal boat. They gave him less and

617
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 7: less consideration, ignoring him completely on what turned out to

618
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 7: be his last birthday. No visit, no call, not even

619
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 7: a text. He was devastated and reduced contact with them,

620
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 7: though he never stopped helping them financially. When they found

621
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 7: out he was passing, they rushed to his side and

622
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:35,320
Speaker 7: stayed until he passed.

623
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 5: But like before, it was too little, too late. He

624
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 5: was already unconscious.

625
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,880
Speaker 7: They hadn't shown urgency when he was first admitted, only

626
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 7: showing up when I told them he had chosen to

627
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 7: end life support. I'd been told the day he was admitted,

628
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 7: over two weeks earlier, that he might not survive, and

629
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 7: I believed it. I'd seen him in these situations before,

630
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,959
Speaker 7: and this time felt different. The rest of the family

631
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 7: still thought he would recover and didn't treat him as

632
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 7: a priority because they took it for granted, and they're

633
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 7: going to be haunted by that forever, so they get

634
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,680
Speaker 7: what they deserve. I feel like it was bittersweet because

635
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:06,640
Speaker 7: it's like he did clearly. I don't think he pulled

636
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,719
Speaker 7: his support. I think he stayed there for his dad.

637
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 7: He probably realized, Hi, this is problem I have with

638
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 7: my sisters. I like that that did not happen.

639
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 3: It seemed like it went as well as it could

640
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 3: have for the situation.

641
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,119
Speaker 7: Still don't know if they really talked it out fully.

642
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 7: I would assume they did. Yeah, And at this point

643
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 7: I think you move forward. You just go low, no

644
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 7: contact with your sisters. I'm focusing on my life with

645
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 7: my wife, with our child, or.

646
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 3: If it's still a problem. Like still have the chance

647
00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 3: to talk to them about it too. If you really

648
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 3: need to still have that conversation, then go right ahead.

649
00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 5: Eventually, my dad asked me if he was passing away.

650
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 7: Everyone else had been giving him false hope, mostly for themselves,

651
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 7: so I had to tell him, yes, you're going to

652
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 7: pass away soon.

653
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 5: And that was not an easy conversation.

654
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 7: He passed surrounded by family who barely gave him their

655
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 7: time when he was alive. My sisters definitely regret how

656
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 7: they treated him, but it's too late. We were civil

657
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 7: at the funeral, but haven't spoken since. I scattered my

658
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 7: I share of his ashes at the end of the canal.

659
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:05,800
Speaker 7: He never got to see. My sisters turned theirs into jewelry.

660
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 7: I miss him every day, especially as his grandson looks

661
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 7: so much like him. It's a shame things never got

662
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 7: resolved with his daughters while he was alive. But I

663
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 7: think he passed a happy man, and that's enough for me.

664
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 7: And that is the end of that story. You got

665
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 7: to find the silver lining where you can find it,

666
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 7: and it looks like he has.

667
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. We're gonna get

668
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads

669
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 1: from our sponsors.

670
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 4: My ex wife is taking advantage of my kindness. I

671
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 4: want to bankrupt her.

672
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 3: Maybe we should go to the therapy.

673
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 4: My wife and I legally separated two years ago and

674
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 4: filed for divorce last year. During the divorce, we agreed

675
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 4: that I would keep the house, refinance it, and pay

676
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 4: her fifty percent of equity. Ode she was bringing in

677
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 4: six figures and I only made about fifty eight K

678
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 4: during the marriage, so she paid me spousal support because

679
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 4: she put the down payment on the house. I decided

680
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 4: to give her an extra ten percent of the equity split,

681
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 4: as I leave that to be fair. By the way,

682
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 4: this comes from Ye's's walks and if you want to

683
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

684
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 4: storytime subreddit. So we also had two cars that we

685
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 4: needed to refinance to take each other off the loan.

686
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 4: While none of this happened, of course, because I chose

687
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 4: to keep things amicable between us and didn't seek legal counsel,

688
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 4: I filed the divorce papers myself. Fast forward to February

689
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 4: of this year, I get a call from CarMax trying

690
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 4: to collect a debt my ex wife missed a car payment.

691
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 4: We talked about it. I understood that things come up,

692
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 4: and I said I wouldn't mind making the payments this

693
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,320
Speaker 4: one time, as long as she pays me back. I

694
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 4: was still peeved, though, as I suspect that she missed

695
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,719
Speaker 4: her payment because of the same reason she had failed

696
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 4: to make an alimony payment a few months back, because

697
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 4: she's financially supporting her new unemployed daddy of four Fela

698
00:30:55,160 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 4: and niece boyfriend, Clooney's boyfriend Interesting comes around and I

699
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 4: get another call from CarMax. April, May, June, and July.

700
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,360
Speaker 4: Calls from CarMax every month. By May, I was already concerned.

701
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 4: I come to find out that she's accumulated an exorbitant

702
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 4: amount of debt in one year, the length of her

703
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 4: new relationship.

704
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 3: Dude, why are we helping her so much? Aren't we divorced?

705
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 4: So many months? Are we divorce? Her credit is almost nonexistent,

706
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 4: but she's buying Great Danes and Hu pews, She's buying.

707
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,760
Speaker 5: Days what the dog?

708
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 3: Yeah?

709
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 2: I think, Oh, I was just gonna She's buying multiple

710
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 2: Great Danes, weapons, shopping on Timu, and traveling around the

711
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 2: US with her boyfriend. I'm so concerned about what she's

712
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: doing with all of these things.

713
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 3: She taking the Great Danes around the US. She's taking

714
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 3: the Great Danes. Okay.

715
00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 4: I continued to make payments on her car because I

716
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 4: didn't want my credit to be affected by her in action.

717
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 4: She was paying me back, but it was like pulling teeth.

718
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 4: By June, I got fed up and asked her to

719
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,959
Speaker 4: either refinance or sell her car, which of course, she

720
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 4: refused to do.

721
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 3: Dude, you can sue you're paying for the car payments.

722
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 4: That's your car. I kept pleading with her, trying to

723
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 4: make her understand how much financial stress this was putting

724
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 4: on me, and I let her know that I felt

725
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 4: as though she was taking advantage of me. July rolls

726
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 4: around and I make another payment.

727
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 3: Dude, come on, what are you doing do in here?

728
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 4: This time? The Carmacs paper bill was sent to her house.

729
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 4: First week of August, I get a call from her

730
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 4: boyfriend to yell and berate me. He demanded to know

731
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 4: why my ex and I were still talking. I told

732
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 4: him that she owed me money and that I needed

733
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 4: her to get rid of her car because I was

734
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 4: the one making payments on it. A week went by

735
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 4: and I hadn't heard anything. She had already blocked me

736
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 4: at this point, so I sent her an email requesting

737
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 4: to know details about the car. As usual, she was uncooperative,

738
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 4: and it took me telling her that I would drive

739
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 4: to her house and pick up the car myself to

740
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 4: sell it. That did it. The next day she had

741
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 4: sold the car. She emailed me a few days later

742
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 4: demanding a timeline for refinancing the house. I told her

743
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 4: I wouldn't be refinancing anything until we meet with a

744
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 4: mediator to ensure that she is held accountable. This is

745
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,440
Speaker 4: a house, not a car. It took seven months to

746
00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 4: get her to do anything with the car, and I

747
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 4: was still owed alimony and car payment slash. The mediator

748
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 4: would facilitate the distribution of our remaining assets, as I

749
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 4: can no longer trust or even communicate with her effectively.

750
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 4: She replied by telling me that she will not be

751
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 4: subjected to my demands any longer, and that she is

752
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 4: titled to one hundred percent of the equity.

753
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 3: Dude, don't we have a court order?

754
00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 2: Don't we have a shame that says exactly what she's

755
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 2: entitled to.

756
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 4: I don't think they got that far yet y'all do better.

757
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 4: She also said that because she already filled her divorce

758
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 4: agreement by selling her car, not true. She still owes

759
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 4: me money, so nothing's fulfilled. That I am now in

760
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 4: contempt of court because I have not deposited all hundred

761
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,320
Speaker 4: percent of the equity from a house that I haven't

762
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:15,839
Speaker 4: even begun to refinance.

763
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 3: She said, your even contemptive courts. You're not in court.

764
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 4: You're not in Core're not in court.

765
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 3: That's not how contemptive court works.

766
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,239
Speaker 4: Uh, I'm now in contempt of court because I've not

767
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 4: deposited one hundred percent of the equity from a house

768
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 4: that I haven't even begun to refinance, because I need

769
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 4: legal assistance with it. To make matters worse, she told

770
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 4: me she needs the money asap because she's getting married.

771
00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:44,880
Speaker 3: You're steady married.

772
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 4: However, she wants me to deposit money into her account.

773
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,759
Speaker 4: She is refusing to go through with this the right

774
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 4: way because I suspect she doesn't want to disclose her finances.

775
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:58,839
Speaker 4: She is, after all, helping her ex fellon boyfriend run

776
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 4: a business that can not legally operate in the state.

777
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 2: And also buying pu pews, which he probably should not

778
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 2: be own if he's excell on and the great days.

779
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,280
Speaker 3: Don't forget the great days.

780
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 4: At this point, there was no salvaging this relationship that

781
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,279
Speaker 4: I was trying to keep with her. I wanted to

782
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 4: do things amicably with a mediator and come to an

783
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 4: agreement on the house. We emailed back and forth a

784
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,880
Speaker 4: bit more about how I would be seeking legal counsel

785
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 4: if she refused to go to mediation and settle this

786
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,280
Speaker 4: like civil adult that once loved each other so dearly.

787
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 4: I still do love her, which is why it hurts

788
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 4: so much. But I am also to the point where

789
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 4: I am ready to lawyer up and take whatever assets

790
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 4: she has left to get my money back and legal

791
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 4: fees paid am id a hole. We do have an update.

792
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 3: Okay, it's a little bit unclear.

793
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like they are officially divorced quite Yeah, Yeah,

794
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 2: could be wrong about that. It sounds like they're still

795
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 2: just separated, but they've filed for divorced.

796
00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 3: They're in filed, they're in the divorce proceedings.

797
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, and she's had a boyfriend for a year.

798
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 3: She's like, I want to marry him a cold months,

799
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 3: great dance a couple of months. Uh is he's getting alimony.

800
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 4: Yes, she's trying to get the house fun I don't know,

801
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 4: like the house funds. But he's in charge of refinancing.

802
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 3: Yes.

803
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 2: Uh, they were for some reason paying for a car together,

804
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 2: which I guess.

805
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 4: The cars were in his name, I think, and she

806
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 4: stopped paying.

807
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 2: But like she took she took them, he let her

808
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 2: take them. Weird, weird. Should have changed those to her name, right,

809
00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 2: I don't know why you didn't do that. Man, If

810
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 2: she's going to take the cars, change them to her name.

811
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 3: I don't. You guys did divorce badly?

812
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 5: You guys? Are you?

813
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:44,520
Speaker 3: Guys?

814
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:49,279
Speaker 2: Had a stupid divorce? F F failed divorce? Actually you

815
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,320
Speaker 2: get a D for divorce.

816
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 3: Update. I scheduled a.

817
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,520
Speaker 4: Couple of meetings with attorneys next week to discuss my situation.

818
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 3: Edit.

819
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 4: I just wanted to add a bit more background to

820
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 4: explain why I feel like the a hole. My ex

821
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 4: and I remained friends after the separation.

822
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 3: Did you?

823
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 4: We still send each other funny memes and we were

824
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 4: checking in on one another. The communication increased late last

825
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 4: year when she missed her first alimony payment. This is

826
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 4: when she began to tell me more and more about

827
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,520
Speaker 4: her new life and relationship. She started telling me that

828
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 4: her boyfriend was always asking for money and that she

829
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 4: was stressed out constantly. She also said that he attacked

830
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 4: her one night that they had an intense argument. She

831
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 4: also started telling me that she missed me and that

832
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,439
Speaker 4: she wanted to leave her situation but had nowhere to go.

833
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 4: This lasted the entire seven months that I was paying

834
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 4: for her car.

835
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 3: What is your relationship? What is your relationship?

836
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 5: Like that?

837
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 3: Awful? Awful?

838
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 2: If she's in that situation, awful, I'm confused what your

839
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 2: relationship is?

840
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,000
Speaker 4: I'm worried.

841
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:51,240
Speaker 3: Also, if he's an ex.

842
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 2: Fella, report that report that maybe don't have weapons around him.

843
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what the Great Danes.

844
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 3: Are around the kids. Okay.

845
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 4: I was worried for her. I wanted to help her.

846
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 4: I began to piece things together and all I needed

847
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,359
Speaker 4: was a name and a truth Finder account to find

848
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,839
Speaker 4: out that her new man is a convicted felon with

849
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,320
Speaker 4: bankruptcies and illegal business dealings. I asked her if she

850
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 4: knew about this over the phone one day, and she

851
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 4: said no, but didn't seem.

852
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 3: Too concerned about it.

853
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,959
Speaker 4: Why we continued to stay in contact with her, even

854
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 4: calling me in the middle of the night to ask

855
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 4: if she can bring the dogs over and spend the night.

856
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 4: After another fight, the relationship turned sour after the guy

857
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 4: saw the CarMax bill and called me to confront me

858
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 4: about it. That is when she blocked me. Her attitude

859
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 4: towards me changed when I told her that I was

860
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 4: afraid and that she would continue to drag out the

861
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 4: car situation, especially now that we wouldn't be able to

862
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,040
Speaker 4: talk as frequently. This is when she blew up on

863
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 4: me and told me that all I ever cared about

864
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 4: was money and that I was bailing on her when

865
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 4: she needed me the most. She told me that she

866
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 4: felt used by me during the marriage and when she

867
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 4: was buying me cars and houses. There is another update, dude,

868
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 4: what he's going on?

869
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,880
Speaker 3: I okay, just to recap.

870
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,359
Speaker 4: Yes, we've got this.

871
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 2: These two people decided to separate, didn't go through the

872
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,359
Speaker 2: courts because they wanted to do it amicably, but then

873
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 2: filed for the force proceedings and stuff.

874
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 3: Yes, Uh did it badly? Did it badly?

875
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 7: Uh?

876
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,359
Speaker 2: That now she's not paying for these car payments that

877
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 2: she promised to pay for. He let her go with

878
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 2: the car because she's like, well, we're friends, they're sending each.

879
00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 4: Other memes well, because it sounded like they were. It

880
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 4: was going well between them until the boyfriend that she

881
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,800
Speaker 4: also sounds like she doesn't want anymore.

882
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 2: It's not a good situation, but I just think it

883
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:53,320
Speaker 2: like divorce from what we've read in all of these stories.

884
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 2: Even if you wanted to be amicably, let's just get

885
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 2: a mediator.

886
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,640
Speaker 3: In just a mediator.

887
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 2: Even, let's just get some sort of legal stuff going

888
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:03,399
Speaker 2: on in there so we don't have to.

889
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 3: Do this deal with it later.

890
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 4: Get some great dams.

891
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, so yikes.

892
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 4: For the record, she and I met in the Marines

893
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 4: and had nothing to our names when we got out.

894
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,920
Speaker 4: We both worked and were full time students for the

895
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 4: GI Bill for four years. In the marriage, I made

896
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 4: more than her, but because of her career, she moved

897
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 4: up very quickly and was making around one hundred and

898
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 4: ten K when we split up. She now makes closer

899
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 4: to one hundred and eighty K. I, however, was playing

900
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 4: catch up in grad school while also working a full

901
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:38,240
Speaker 4: time job and doing paid internships, and was constantly berated

902
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 4: for not being at her level yet, which she referred

903
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 4: to as power couple status. So when she called me

904
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 4: to tell me that she had sold the car and

905
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 4: wanted equity because she's getting married. I was flabberg acid. Yeah, wait,

906
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 4: she's also getting married to this man.

907
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:56,480
Speaker 3: You guys aren't even divorced. We've gotten no clarity.

908
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 4: I don't think they are. I just can't believe it. Mean,

909
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,480
Speaker 4: I can't believe that she's used me, or is some

910
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,880
Speaker 4: of what she's saying true. I don't recognize her. I

911
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 4: don't know what to believe anymore. My brain can't process this,

912
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 4: and I think my desire to rescue her is why

913
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:15,520
Speaker 4: I've been doing this with her so long. Stow, and

914
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:16,720
Speaker 4: that's the end.

915
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 3: Of the straw.

916
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 5: Hey, it's johni og host here.

917
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but it's a

918
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 1: quick three minute break of ass from more sponsors.

919
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 3: My niece wanted me to design her wedding. I'm not

920
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:27,719
Speaker 3: available for that day.

921
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 5: Sorry, niece. I'm too exclusive for you.

922
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 3: I'm facing situation and not sure how to handle it.

923
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 3: In April of this year, my oldest niece, don thirty,

924
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,839
Speaker 3: announced that she and her boyfriend would be getting married

925
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,239
Speaker 3: in September fifth of this year. My niece asked me

926
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 3: to please handle all centerpieces, and I need decor for

927
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 3: the wedding as well as being her maid of honor.

928
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 3: I was thrilled and worked my butt off for four months.

929
00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from tatted up Girl, and

930
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:53,600
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

931
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,479
Speaker 3: the r slush okay storytime supreddit. So it was really

932
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 3: hard work, but I pulled it off and my niece

933
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 3: was over the moon with how her wedding turned out.

934
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 3: But Don left all of the decor up to me,

935
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 3: saying that I could do what I wanted to, and

936
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 3: thankfully she and everyone else at the wedding loved it.

937
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 3: At the reception, my youngest niece, Leah eighteen, decided that

938
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 3: her oldest sister's wedding was the best time to tell

939
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:16,880
Speaker 3: everyone that she and her boyfriend are getting married on

940
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 3: Halloween this year.

941
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 7: A wow, always the worst time to do that at

942
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 7: someone else's wedding.

943
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:24,879
Speaker 3: Plus that's like a month or like a couple months

944
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:26,840
Speaker 3: September fifth to Halloween.

945
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 5: Not really enough notice.

946
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 3: I was busy and had heard her saying something, but

947
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 3: didn't really think about it again until this afternoon. Don

948
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 3: called saying that Leah had called her saying that she

949
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 3: had bought her wedding dress. Leah told Don that since

950
00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 3: Down makes cakes, she wants her to do the wedding cake.

951
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 3: And she loved what I did for Don's wedding, so

952
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 3: she wants me to do hers as well. While I'm

953
00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 3: glad to be the person that she wants to decorate

954
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 3: her wedding, this brings up a crap load of issues.

955
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 3: The issue number one. Three months ago, my mother, who

956
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 3: is sixty, and I booked a trip for out of

957
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 3: the town the weekend that has picked for her wedding.

958
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 3: Call me selfish, but we have been really looking forward

959
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 3: to this trip. Our lives have always been kind of

960
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:10,359
Speaker 3: crazy and the time away is really needed. Issued number two.

961
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 3: I paid for all the crap that I needed to

962
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 3: make the centerpieces and to decorate for Don's wedding. I

963
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,760
Speaker 3: told her that it would be my husband and I's

964
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:20,680
Speaker 3: wedding gift to her. I paid for everything so she

965
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 3: could have really nice stuff that I knew that she

966
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,880
Speaker 3: couldn't afford on her own, and Don was over the

967
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 3: moon at that time. I had the money to do it.

968
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,760
Speaker 3: Two weeks before Don's wedding, I moved into a new house,

969
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 3: then got laid off the next day. My money is tight.

970
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,439
Speaker 3: I have a family to help support. And Leah told

971
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 3: Don that she has zero money for decorations and the cake,

972
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 3: meaning that she expects Don to make the wedding cake

973
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 3: pay for it, and for me to pay for a

974
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:50,360
Speaker 3: decor and centerpieces. With Don and myself just paying for

975
00:43:50,480 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 3: Don's wedding, we are all tapped out. She's also expecting

976
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 3: my parents to pay for the food, since they just

977
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 3: paid for the food at Don's wedding. Issued number three.

978
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,360
Speaker 3: Leah paid October thirtieth for the day of the wedding.

979
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:06,080
Speaker 3: We live in southern Indiana, and whether in the Midwest

980
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 3: this time of year can either be your rain or

981
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 3: even snow. The location of the wedding is at my parents'

982
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: farm outside. There is nowhere to go if it rains

983
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 3: or anything. It is all one hundred percent outside, So

984
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie. Leah is and always has been

985
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 3: a huge a hole. She thinks just because she says

986
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 3: this is what I want, everyone should hop to she

987
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 3: can be really effing difficult. Just because Don asked Leah

988
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 3: what kind of made of honor dressed you needed to

989
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 3: look for, and Leyah's answer was whatever she wants her

990
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 3: wedding cake to be nightmare. Before Christmas themes said her

991
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:44,959
Speaker 3: wedding color is navy blue and doesn't have any thoughts

992
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 3: about anything else, So she wants everyone to do everything

993
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,839
Speaker 3: and come up with it all on her own. And

994
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 3: when dealing with Leah, that means that even though she

995
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 3: purposefully didn't say what she wanted, what you give her

996
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:59,399
Speaker 3: will not be good enough or write and she will

997
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 3: throw a f It's the reasons that I had to

998
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 3: stop buying her anything for Christmas and her birthday because

999
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 3: nothing was good enough and she would freak out. So

1000
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 3: no more gifts.

1001
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,959
Speaker 5: Happy Birthday. I didn't get you anything you didn't want.

1002
00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:14,239
Speaker 3: There you go. That's my gift is not giving you

1003
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,240
Speaker 3: something you're gonna throw tantrum over. So my question, Reddit

1004
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 3: is how do I go about talking about all of

1005
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 3: these issues with Lamb. I can't do what she wants,

1006
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 3: none of us can. While I do want to do

1007
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 3: for her what I did for Dawn, I'm just not

1008
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 3: in the place to do it again this soon. If

1009
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,840
Speaker 3: I could talk her into moving the wedding to December

1010
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 3: and having it at her dad's giant building, I could

1011
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 3: do what she wants. No one would be in the

1012
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 3: rain or snow, and my mother and I wouldn't be

1013
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:43,879
Speaker 3: out of town. So how do I tell her this

1014
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 3: without her turning it into me just trying to tell

1015
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 3: her what to do? We do have some relevant comments,

1016
00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 3: and then I want to hear your comments. To coda,

1017
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,879
Speaker 3: so Hats and top Coats says, the wedding is at

1018
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 3: your parents' farm when your mother won't be there. Opie says, yep,

1019
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 3: my niece. I didn't ask anybody anything. She just started

1020
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 3: telling everyone when she's getting married. I'm telling Leah Tuesday

1021
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,440
Speaker 3: about the trip and everything that I put in my post.

1022
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 3: I want her to actually listen and not think that

1023
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 3: I'm just being a wiener or don't care or something.

1024
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,760
Speaker 3: Work Safe account fifteen says, maybe your mom could say, listen,

1025
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 3: I don't feel comfortable having dozens of people at my

1026
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 3: house when I'm away on vacation. You may use my farm,

1027
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 3: but not on a weekend when I'm not there. You

1028
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:30,360
Speaker 3: have to reschedule or find somewhere else, and then watch

1029
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 3: the whole thing implode when she can't find a venue

1030
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 3: this late in the game. Anyway, I'll pe your response

1031
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 3: to that. You know I think you're right. My mom

1032
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 3: is way stronger than me. I cave because I don't

1033
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 3: want to hurt feelings, but my mom cuts right through

1034
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,799
Speaker 3: the bs. Thattus Crane says, Wow, does her boyfriend even

1035
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 3: know that he's getting married? That's fine, and in this timeline,

1036
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,760
Speaker 3: I would just tell her, No, you're busy that weekend,

1037
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 3: as is your mother, who's farm she's planning on using.

1038
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 3: And furthermore, it's not in your budget. Your reasons are

1039
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 3: incredibly reasonable, and your niece sounds like she couldn't handle

1040
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,279
Speaker 3: her sister getting married and being in the spotlight more

1041
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:10,880
Speaker 3: than her. Opie responds to that, I think that's exactly

1042
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 3: what it is. Two months before the wedding, Leah set

1043
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 3: off for boot camp, so for the months leading up

1044
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 3: to that she was getting a lot of attention. Then

1045
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 3: something happened. No one knows the truth, and she got

1046
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:24,279
Speaker 3: shipped back from boot camp. Three weeks leading up to

1047
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,400
Speaker 3: the wedding. Don refused to make Leah a bridesmaid and

1048
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 3: told her that there was no time for her to

1049
00:47:29,080 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 3: get addressed and all that. So, of course, she thought

1050
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 3: Don's wedding was the best time to tell everyone that

1051
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 3: she is getting married. And we do have an update.

1052
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 3: But oh boy.

1053
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 5: She sure sounds like she's not difficult at all, not

1054
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:42,239
Speaker 5: at all.

1055
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 3: No, just have it the next year. Just give it

1056
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 3: a year, have a whole nother year to put everything together.

1057
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 3: Two months is po little time.

1058
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:52,680
Speaker 5: Feels super reflexive and impulsive.

1059
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 7: It's like she was like, Oh, well, this person's having

1060
00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 7: a really great wedding, and look all these people are

1061
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 7: helping her with it, so now I'm going to demand

1062
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 7: that they do the exact same thing for me in

1063
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 7: less than sixty days.

1064
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 3: It's like, that's just not how that works, my friend.

1065
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,640
Speaker 5: But we do have an updates, and she got kicked

1066
00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:09,480
Speaker 5: out of boot camp, right.

1067
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 3: I guess you.

1068
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 7: Gotta be pretty obstinate to get kicked out of boot camp.

1069
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 3: I want to know more of that story. But let's

1070
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:21,160
Speaker 3: see how she deals with this difficult woman. So update.

1071
00:48:21,360 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 3: First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who commented

1072
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 3: on my original post. In my everyday life, I'm the

1073
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 3: problem solver, the fixer, So I was looking at this

1074
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 3: entire situation as a problem that I needed to solve.

1075
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 3: I knew that if I asked you guys what to do,

1076
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 3: you would all just see it from a perspective that

1077
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 3: I was just too close to see. Thank you all

1078
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,920
Speaker 3: for showing me that not only was any of this

1079
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,719
Speaker 3: not my problem, but also that it was not my

1080
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,400
Speaker 3: responsibility to do anything at all in this situation. Clearly

1081
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 3: I have crap that I needed to work on and

1082
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 3: keep working on. My husband has helped me over the

1083
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,239
Speaker 3: eleven years that we've been together. I used to be

1084
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 3: like a field mouse and absolutely terrified to say no

1085
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:59,239
Speaker 3: to people, sometimes even crying over it. Thanks to the

1086
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 3: people on here who suggested it, I'm actually going to

1087
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 3: start practicing saying, standing up for myself and letting no

1088
00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 3: be a complete sentence. My husband said that I can

1089
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,480
Speaker 3: practice on him whenever I needed to, and we will

1090
00:49:11,480 --> 00:49:14,840
Speaker 3: start working on that today. Oh sweet, Okay, So the

1091
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 3: update Sunday night, I called my mom and told her everything.

1092
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 3: I pointed out that we will be gone on the

1093
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 3: weekend Leah was wanting to get married on and said

1094
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:26,320
Speaker 3: that for once, I will be putting my foot down.

1095
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 3: We will be going on that trip. My mom laughed

1096
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,320
Speaker 3: and said not to worry, and that Leah has lost

1097
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 3: her dang mine if she thinks that any of us

1098
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 3: will pay for anything. I told her to call my

1099
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 3: dad before my sister had a chance to lie to him.

1100
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,839
Speaker 3: My dad said the same thing as mom did and

1101
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 3: decided to call Leya's dad to find out what was

1102
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 3: going on. Lea's dad said that he told Leah that

1103
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,840
Speaker 3: since he just bought her a car and his business

1104
00:49:49,880 --> 00:49:52,239
Speaker 3: is getting ready to shut down for the winner, he

1105
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 3: could not afford a wedding for her this year. He

1106
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 3: told her to put the wedding off till around May

1107
00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,680
Speaker 3: of next year and that would be enough time. Le

1108
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,960
Speaker 3: I lost her crap.

1109
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 7: Are we surprised, No, zero percent surprised, not at all.

1110
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:09,640
Speaker 3: Her dad said that after a lot of screaming, she

1111
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 3: finally yelled, I'll pay for it myself, And apparently in

1112
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,279
Speaker 3: Leah's mind, that meant getting all of us to pay

1113
00:50:16,280 --> 00:50:16,760
Speaker 3: for it.

1114
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,919
Speaker 7: Right, I'll pay for it myself means I'll find other

1115
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 7: people to pay for.

1116
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 3: This, Yeah, come on. My dad said that he needed

1117
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 3: to tell Lea that not a single one of us

1118
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 3: will ever pay for her to get married ever, and

1119
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 3: if she just absolutely has to, she can do it

1120
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,880
Speaker 3: at the courthouse. Later that night, Lea's dad called my

1121
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,560
Speaker 3: dad back and said that he sat Laya down and

1122
00:50:38,680 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 3: demanded to know why she was pushing for a wedding

1123
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 3: so soon. That is true, that's a good problem to

1124
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 3: address as well. It didn't even think of that.

1125
00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:48,919
Speaker 7: I think it's that jealousy or like seeing someone else

1126
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 7: have it.

1127
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, she just needs her moment. Turns out that her

1128
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 3: boyfriend is joining the navy and they thought it would

1129
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 3: be a good idea to get married. Oh is the

1130
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,480
Speaker 3: best idea? Oh yeah. Her dad told me that none

1131
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 3: of us are paying anything for her wedding and she

1132
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,600
Speaker 3: would have to go to the courthouse if she had to,

1133
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:08,200
Speaker 3: but there will be no wedding this year. After an

1134
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:11,360
Speaker 3: hour of yelling, Leah said fine, and she will just

1135
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 3: move the wedding to next year. But honestly, if her.

1136
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,360
Speaker 4: Boyfriend is going away, I can totally see.

1137
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 3: Her finding a new guy while he is gone and

1138
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 3: the whole wedding thing going away. Anyway, Thank you all

1139
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 3: so much for helping me. Lea's finally got it through

1140
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 3: to her that no one will be paying for her wedding,

1141
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:27,400
Speaker 3: and she agreed to put it off. I'm going to

1142
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:31,160
Speaker 3: work on myself and have an awesome trip. Go up,

1143
00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:35,799
Speaker 3: go you. We do have some relevant comments coming right up,

1144
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 3: but do you have any comments of your own, Dakoda.

1145
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:39,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, like just go on the trip, Like

1146
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:42,520
Speaker 7: you know, if you've planned on doing something for a

1147
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 7: long time and someone comes around and says, hey, like

1148
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:47,360
Speaker 7: do this thing for me. But it's like a demand

1149
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:50,479
Speaker 7: and I'm not nice about it and I'm annoying, like.

1150
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:54,720
Speaker 5: Don't feel at all obligated to cancel your trip and such.

1151
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 3: Short notice, because i mean, I'm guessing that for the

1152
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 3: other wedding, she probably got so much time beforehand to

1153
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 3: figure everything out, so.

1154
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 5: A lot longer than less than two months.

1155
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she probably asks instead of just being like, hey,

1156
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 3: you're doing this and you're paying for it all you

1157
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 3: crazy girl. We do have some relevant comments. Delete it,

1158
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:16,279
Speaker 3: says thanks for the update. She sounds like the type

1159
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:18,319
Speaker 3: to cheat on her boyfriend when he hasn't even been

1160
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 3: at boot camp for a week. Opie says she has

1161
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 3: cheated on him a lot. Oh man nix de Boss says, wow,

1162
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 3: effing tell him, don't let him get married. She sounds crazy,

1163
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 3: and Opie responds to that. The ft up thing is

1164
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 3: that she tells him him herself. She cheats on him,

1165
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:39,439
Speaker 3: tells him about it, and says that he can't get

1166
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 3: mad because she was honest with him.

1167
00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:41,600
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1168
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:45,640
Speaker 7: Sure, in backwards upside down nonsense land, that makes sense.

1169
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:49,280
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, why does the boyfriend want to marry

1170
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 3: Leah after all that he has a very low self

1171
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:54,759
Speaker 3: esteem and self worth? He thinks that Leah is the

1172
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 3: only person who will ever love him. Donna's told him

1173
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 3: many times that he could find someone better. Wow, and

1174
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:02,319
Speaker 3: we do actually have a second update. Would you look

1175
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 3: at that?

1176
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:04,480
Speaker 5: I hope it's him finding someone better.

1177
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 3: I hope so too. That is so cruel of her

1178
00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 3: to do to him. My goodness. So update number two, Well,

1179
00:53:11,239 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 3: a few people wanted an update to the update, so

1180
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 3: I thought i'd let everyone know that. Don and I

1181
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:19,920
Speaker 3: found out today that Leah got married on Tuesday, exactly

1182
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 3: what we want to happen. Absolutely no one knew about it,

1183
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:26,120
Speaker 3: but Leah's mom and my sister. Don called her today

1184
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 3: to try to get her to talk Leah out of

1185
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 3: the whole marriage thing altogether. Don said to her mom

1186
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 3: that there's no way that she could think it's a

1187
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 3: good idea for Leyah to get married, and my sister replied, well,

1188
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:39,839
Speaker 3: it's kind of late for that. Don asked her mom

1189
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,359
Speaker 3: what the heck that meant. And she said that they

1190
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 3: snuck off on Tuesday and got married at the courthouse.

1191
00:53:45,320 --> 00:53:47,799
Speaker 5: I mean, it is what everyone told them to do.

1192
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 3: I guess she's like, Okay, fine, I guess we're getting

1193
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 3: married when we were No, they gotta.

1194
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 4: Lock this down.

1195
00:53:53,239 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 5: I feel so bad for that guy.

1196
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 3: My sister tried to act like Leah had no choice,

1197
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:59,439
Speaker 3: since it's my fault that none of us would pay

1198
00:53:59,440 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 3: for her wedding.

1199
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 7: What sure, whatever? Why do I have to pay my taxes?

1200
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 7: It's because of that one fish that crawled out of

1201
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 7: the ocean. That's whose fault it really is.

1202
00:54:08,040 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 3: It's their fault. Ow dare they There's a little bit more,

1203
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:13,440
Speaker 3: but do you have any final comments?

1204
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 5: Some people can't be saved.

1205
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's hard, but like you've done what you can

1206
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 7: for that guy, being like, you can find someone else,

1207
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,839
Speaker 7: and he's like, no, I don't think I can.

1208
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 3: Hopefully they can just be like a good family support

1209
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,399
Speaker 3: system to him. Maybe done so much to her, and

1210
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 3: then you know, hopefully even though she's terrible to him,

1211
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:36,319
Speaker 3: everyone else can be good.

1212
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 5: Everyone else in your life is great except your wife.

1213
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:40,920
Speaker 3: But there is a tiny even more to the story.

1214
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 3: So Apparently I somehow have the power to tell my

1215
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 3: parents not to pay for a wedding, and since I

1216
00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:48,920
Speaker 3: thought that my trip was more important and refuse to

1217
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:53,280
Speaker 3: let mom cancel, what was Leah supposed to do? Don

1218
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 3: went off on her mom and stuck up for me,

1219
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: But I couldn't care less if she is blaming me.

1220
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 3: I cut my sister out of my life sixty years

1221
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,360
Speaker 3: yars ago, so anything that she says means nothing in

1222
00:55:02,400 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 3: my life. Leah says that they will have a real

1223
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 3: wedding next year, and Don told her mom that when

1224
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 3: she does have it, not to ask her for a

1225
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 3: cake or me to decorate. And Don said that we

1226
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:16,799
Speaker 3: will not help in any way. And she told me

1227
00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:19,719
Speaker 3: that she's gonna beat me if I help, but I

1228
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:23,239
Speaker 3: told her not to worry about it. So yeah, that's that.

1229
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 3: I guess. Hope my sister can pay for the divorce.

1230
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 3: Dag Man. I think this is for some context, like

1231
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 3: previous context. So I make handmade gifts for people that

1232
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:35,320
Speaker 3: I love, and I used to make my niece handmade

1233
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,759
Speaker 3: things for her all the time until one day she

1234
00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,080
Speaker 3: let it slip that everything I've ever made for her

1235
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:41,719
Speaker 3: she has sold online.

1236
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 5: What Wow?

1237
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 3: She told me that I should be flattered because everything

1238
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,879
Speaker 3: sold for a good chunk of change. That was six

1239
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 3: years ago, and she doesn't understand why I no longer

1240
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 3: give her any gifts at all. She completely broke my heart.

1241
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 3: The one that really broke my heart was when I

1242
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 3: made her a customed coffee table out of a door

1243
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:03,279
Speaker 3: from our grandma's house. That door was the last thing

1244
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 3: that we had from the house, and now it's in

1245
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 3: some stranger's house. Wow. Someone then asked, not to be weird,

1246
00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 3: but I saw that you had written about her a

1247
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,200
Speaker 3: while back. Is she still married? Are their kids? Elmeo?

1248
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 4: Ohp?

1249
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,560
Speaker 3: He responded, that's a difference. She's actually married to someone

1250
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:19,080
Speaker 3: else and she can't have kids.

1251
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 7: Okay, well, at least that guy is not married to

1252
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:23,239
Speaker 7: her anymore.

1253
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:23,920
Speaker 5: Wow.

1254
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:26,959
Speaker 7: Sounds like just about the most selfish piece of work

1255
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:27,840
Speaker 7: I've ever heard.

1256
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:29,280
Speaker 3: That is so insane.

1257
00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:32,600
Speaker 7: You should feel flattered that I sold all of the

1258
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:35,400
Speaker 7: gifts you got me because they sold for good money.

1259
00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:39,080
Speaker 7: They weren't like hot wheels or something. They were like thoughtful,

1260
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:43,720
Speaker 7: handmade gifts. What a garbage bag of a person ask.

1261
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:44,680
Speaker 3: For all of that money back?

1262
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'd be like, that's actually my income. Now I'm

1263
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 7: so flattered. Are you gonna give me the money? Well, yeah,

1264
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 7: just don't bother with this person.

1265
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:54,400
Speaker 3: What a terrible, terrible person. But that is the end

1266
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 3: of that story.