1 00:00:01,480 --> 00:00:04,120 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Bombing with Eric Andre, 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:07,080 Speaker 1: where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative 3 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 1: people about their worst moments on stage and being destroyed 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,720 Speaker 1: by live audience. This time I was blessed by Sierra Leones. 5 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: Funny man David Borie. He's written on my projects and 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: he's just the coolest guy in the world where Pod Brothers. 7 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: He co hosts the podcast My Mama Told Me, also 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,479 Speaker 1: on the Big Money Players Network, where each week he 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: and Langston Kerman dive into a new black conspiracy theory. 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: You can listen to my episode called it Could Be 11 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: a Crackhead about the infamous Crichton Leprechaun viral video. But 12 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,839 Speaker 1: on this episode of Bombing, we talk about stories from 13 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: the Motherland and how insane it is to be on 14 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: the road on Christmas, especially in Las Vegas. If you 15 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: liked this episode, subscribe to the podcast to get a 16 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: new episode every week. Rate it five stars. 17 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 2: And if you're on. 18 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, you can subscribe Big Money Player Diamond to 19 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 1: get an exclusive clip from My hang with David Bori, 20 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 1: plus ad free episodes every week. And now you're gonna 21 00:00:55,200 --> 00:01:05,479 Speaker 1: just have to listening. Let's get out to it. Bombing 22 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: with Eric Andre David Bori in the house. 23 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 3: Man, I miss you. 24 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,479 Speaker 1: How are you doing all right? So I got a podcast. 25 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 3: You have a podcast. 26 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: It's called Bombing Bombing. We are here with one of 27 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: my favorite comedians. We toured together. He's written for the 28 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: Eric Andre Show, the voice of Comedy Central, the sex symbol, 29 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: he's the body of an Adonis and the ass of 30 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: mccullay cocaine. Yeah, yeah, David Bori, everybody, he first of all, 31 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: your name is spelled g b oh r I E. 32 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 1: Did I get it right? But the G is silent, 33 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 1: is silent? How bad have people fucked up and mispronounced 34 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: your name? Give me like a little what do you? 35 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: What do you get? 36 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 3: My high school football coach, he said orgy, which is 37 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 3: like you can't read. Yeah, he was like orange. It 38 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 3: was the first day of weightlifting and he was like 39 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 3: the borgy orgy and it's like you can't read, Like 40 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 3: that's the problem, not my orgy. 41 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 1: It's crazy, especially when you're. 42 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 3: A virgin, you can't live up to that. Thank god. 43 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,079 Speaker 3: I went to a different school next year because I 44 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 3: had never even I think I'd seen a boob. And 45 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 3: then you call me orgy. I can't live like that. 46 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:34,640 Speaker 1: All right, what is the worst you've ever bombed on stage? 47 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 3: This is so funny that you because I was telling Olivia, 48 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:43,799 Speaker 3: your producer, also the producer from my MoMA told me, Oh, 49 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 3: I was telling her. I just got off of my 50 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,800 Speaker 3: worst bombing weekend of my entire career, Christmas weekend in 51 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 3: Las Vegas. It was it was what happened, dog, It's 52 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 3: just like it just got so much worse, like it 53 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 3: started Christmas Eve Eve? 54 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: So what was the venue? What was it? What was it? 55 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,040 Speaker 1: Given us some context? Was this I don't want to 56 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: say the venue, Okay, give us like the type of venue. 57 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: Were you playing a casino? Are you playing a theater? 58 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 1: Was it a room? 59 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 3: Was it was like off of a strip mall next 60 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 3: to a casino? 61 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,079 Speaker 1: It was a theater? Or what was it? Comedy club? 62 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 3: It was a it was a comedy club, high high ceilings, 63 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 3: comedy club, crowd far far away, and it was the 64 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 3: type of people who were in Las Vegas on Christmas. 65 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:22,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a tough crowd. 66 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 3: And I bomb like so I start on Thursday night 67 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,919 Speaker 3: and I bombed consecutively worse. 68 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: Oh, every show, every. 69 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 4: Single fucking show and I tried to Oh so like 70 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 4: two a night, three at night night everyone, Oh my god, 71 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 4: that's a night. That's purgatory. That's a black Marror episode dog. 72 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 3: And then I had to go to sleep, wake up, 73 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: go to Gordon Ramsay's restaurant, and face that ship again 74 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 3: and again. 75 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: God, what was the talent? What was like the producer 76 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: or whatever the booker is saying to you. 77 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 3: They don't even give a ship because it's Vegas. They 78 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 3: just these people were going to be here and aways. 79 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 3: It's not about putting on a good show. It's just 80 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,800 Speaker 3: having them go somewhere for an hour and a half 81 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 3: so they don't gamble. 82 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: Were you with any other comedian that you could commiserate 83 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: with and be like, oh, this is horrible. 84 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:11,839 Speaker 2: Yeah. 85 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 3: I was with Steve Aj, Stephen AJ, my fellow gunnyan brother. 86 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: This isn't Steve ag no, no, no, this is this 87 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: is Stephen Aj. 88 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, and he also was bombed. 89 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: So were you guys just like halfway through it like 90 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 1: this is hell on Earth? Yeah? 91 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,919 Speaker 3: It was, because it was like every night you bomb 92 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 3: and then they let you loose on Las Vegas to 93 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 3: like think about it. 94 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's also Christmas Eve yeah. 95 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 3: So now it's like Christmas Eve in Vegas. You're in 96 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 3: a piano bar and Harah's just like thinking about everything 97 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 3: you've ever done wrong. 98 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 1: It's like the saddest Christmas all the time. Christmas it's 99 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 1: so much work. Piano's bombed in February. You want to 100 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,040 Speaker 1: give a ship? Yeah no, but. 101 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 3: Christmas Eve, I'm just like trying to do the math 102 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 3: of like what time can I call my mom and 103 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,479 Speaker 3: have her not worried that I'm doing it as I 104 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 3: am right now? 105 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: It was so did you have to do an hour? 106 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,480 Speaker 3: I had to do forty five? Yeah, forty five forty five? 107 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: Sorry? Described the crowd to us? What's the crowd like? 108 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: Give us a paint us a picture? 109 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:16,760 Speaker 3: Couples where one of them had kids and one didn't, 110 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 3: and those kids were out of state. 111 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: I don't even know how to respond to that. What 112 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:21,160 Speaker 1: does that mean? 113 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 3: It's people who would go to Las Vegas for Christmas talk? 114 00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: So is that like like Jimmy Buffett parent head white 115 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: people or is it like. 116 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 3: No, It's like it's like it's like people. 117 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,040 Speaker 1: Who are they troubled? 118 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 3: They were happier than I was to be there, which 119 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,239 Speaker 3: is odd. But I haven't even told you the worst 120 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 3: of two parts of it. 121 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:41,000 Speaker 1: Okay, God go ahead, Okay. 122 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 3: The worst part was like one night I ran into 123 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 3: the arms of a sex worker. That was the only 124 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 3: way I thought it could get better. It did not 125 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 3: get better. So then I wake up on Christmas. 126 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,880 Speaker 1: You ran into the arms of the sex worker. It's 127 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: such a beautiful poetic way of saying I bought a hooker. 128 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 3: For no, because dude, it gets so much deeper because 129 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 3: we didn't actually have sex. It was very complicated. 130 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 1: Well that's conceptual, is it. 131 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 3: It sounds sad. So then I wake up on Christmas. 132 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 3: Christmas is our last show. We only have to do 133 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 3: one show on Christmas, and I'm like, all right, just 134 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 3: one show and then I'm free. Lord, I was going 135 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,039 Speaker 3: to Hawaii the next day. I was like, I'm free. 136 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 3: We're gonna be okay, I'll be okay, right, I wake up, 137 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 3: I'm doing my thing. The club owner calls me on 138 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 3: Christmas Day. He's like, hey, Lunell missed her flight, and 139 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know what that has to 140 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 3: do with me. Oh no, he wanted you to do more. 141 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 3: Lunelle does the late show every Sunday night at this 142 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:44,559 Speaker 3: show and it's on Christmas and she missed her flight 143 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 3: and he's like, you want to just do it? I 144 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,760 Speaker 3: was like, And then he talks about the pay and 145 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, the pay was good. The whole reason 146 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 3: I was even there was because the pay was incredible. 147 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, right, many changes the conversation. 148 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 3: Which is no, but this is what it locked into me, 149 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,280 Speaker 3: is like, now I'm like, I'm never doing this ever again. 150 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 3: I'm never doing comedy just for money. This is the worst. 151 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 3: So it's Lunelle's crowd on Christmas. They don't tell anybody 152 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 3: that she's not gonna make it until people start showing 153 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 3: up for the show. 154 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: No. 155 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 3: In between shows, the club owner comes up and he's like, 156 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 3: people are fucking freaking out downstairs. 157 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,080 Speaker 1: Have to figure. 158 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 3: Out they want their money back. 159 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: Fuck. 160 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 3: So people who stayed are people who are so pissed, 161 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 3: but they refuse to get a refund. And they wanted 162 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 3: Lunell and it's me. They wanted Lunell on Christmas and 163 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 3: it's me. It's me, you hear me, it's me. I 164 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 3: got no Lunelle. And then the club owner starts getting crazy, 165 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 3: like kind of racist, like he takes me and Steve 166 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 3: Asidey's like, listen just so you guys know it's an 167 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 3: urban show, so. 168 00:07:55,040 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: Just you don't. My brother, he was like Luell, she. 169 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 3: Never holds back, just just just letting go. Baby. 170 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: It's like somebody who has never done comedy once. 171 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 3: Bro and then so and then yeah, her opener made 172 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 3: it so, her opener was there. And then I had 173 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 3: to headline Munell's show on Christmas for a bunch of 174 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 3: old black aunties who were pissed. 175 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I wasn't. How'd you do. 176 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 3: Well? Thank god a guy was wearing a wife beater, 177 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 3: cause I got to be like, are you wearing a 178 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 3: wife beater? And his wife was like yeah, oh then 179 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 3: I got twenty five minutes. 180 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: Out of that. That was your saving grace. Yeah. 181 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,840 Speaker 3: I made him stand up and spin around. 182 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: And you're just grabbing at straws the whole weekend, like 183 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: it was never We're just doing crowd work at one 184 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: point where you're like my jokes, they don't want my jokes. 185 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 186 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 3: I never got any traction ever. They never liked me, 187 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 3: they were never into it. I never understood what they 188 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 3: were doing there. They never understood what I was doing. 189 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 1: That did you just feel like you wanted to quit 190 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 1: doing stand up comedy at the end of it. Yeah, 191 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: where you're like, I'm gonna paint houses the rest of 192 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 1: my life. 193 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 194 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 3: I went to Hawaii like the day afterwards, and I 195 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:09,079 Speaker 3: was like. 196 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: I might just not come back. 197 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,160 Speaker 3: I was like trying to figure it out in my head. 198 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 3: I was like, you know, you got other things you do, 199 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 3: you can you can make money some other way, like 200 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 3: you don't have to. 201 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,959 Speaker 1: The thing is we have no we have no comics 202 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: of no other life skill. 203 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 3: No, bro, I can't build anything. 204 00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:28,319 Speaker 1: I'm useless. I'm fucking like a useless skill set. If 205 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 1: this ends, there's nothing. 206 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 3: What am I gonna do? 207 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: There's nothing. 208 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,000 Speaker 3: I haven't had a real job in fifteen years. 209 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: There's nothing entry level. I would have to I would 210 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 1: have to deliver pizzas. I would have to do data 211 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: entry dog Yeah. Yeah, I'd be temping living pizzas, going 212 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: up to a construction site with a hammer, like, hey, 213 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: I can fucking hammer some nails in be fucking that. 214 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: I would get fired from that. 215 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,400 Speaker 3: I couldn't even do that. I'd have to like go 216 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 3: get their lunches. 217 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,080 Speaker 1: I would just like break both my legs and collect 218 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 1: disability or something. I would just have some steamroll over 219 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:01,559 Speaker 1: my foot. 220 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you gonna do tomorrow? He SAIDs tomorrow, chop. 221 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: Off a couple of toes, be like, yeah, I got diabetes, 222 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: just collect disability. 223 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,439 Speaker 3: Did you ever have a job you were good at 224 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 3: besides this? 225 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 2: Never? 226 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:17,360 Speaker 1: I was the worst employee. I was so fucking incompetent, lazy, 227 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: had no I was useless. I was useless every job 228 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:27,960 Speaker 1: I ever had. Yeah, like I fired all the time, lectured, Yeah, 229 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: I got fired alive. I waited. I lied when I 230 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,439 Speaker 1: first moved to New York and I told the guy 231 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:32,719 Speaker 1: I was twenty one years old. And I told the 232 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: guy that I waited table since I was fourteen. Total lie. 233 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 1: And he's like, all right, we start waiting tables. And 234 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, how do you do that? I 235 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 1: was dropping plates. I was burning myself. I was eating 236 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 1: food off the customer's thing when like they would like 237 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: beat in the bathroom and the other waiters like you 238 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 1: can't do that, man. I was like, I'm so hungry, bro, 239 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 1: I'm fucking starving. That was horrible. And then the guy 240 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: that the boss came in a few days later, he goes, oh, 241 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: my waiter said, you pretty nervous out there. You wanted 242 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: to just start as a busboy, and I had some 243 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 1: weird ego about it. I was like, fuck, no, man, 244 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,679 Speaker 1: I'm a waiter till I d I E and then 245 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: I quit. And I was like so broken, hungry, and 246 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 1: I was like why did I just say that? And 247 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm not a waiter, I'm a liar. Yeah no, 248 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 1: I should have just bus tables, Like I'm a fucking idiot. 249 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 3: The only job I ever had, I was good at 250 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:20,679 Speaker 3: working at the gas station. 251 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: You worked at a gas station, but I also let 252 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,320 Speaker 1: all my friends steal. Really I worked at like four. 253 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 3: Different gas stations in like two different states. 254 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, you see any crazy shit? You see any brawls 255 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 1: at a gas station or anything? 256 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 3: Or was a mellow not really brawls, But like, I 257 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 3: did work overnight, so I just see a lot of 258 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 3: weird people getting out. There was a bar next door 259 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 3: called Venoogis, and you would just see weird people getting 260 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 3: out of the bar late at night, clearly driving like drunk. 261 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,280 Speaker 1: This is rural Colorado, correct. 262 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 3: This is like Aurora. It's not that rural like the suburbs. 263 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: I interviewed the Beastie Boys one time and I asked them, 264 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,079 Speaker 1: I think it was an ad rock deep responding, I go, 265 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 1: what's the craziest thing you guys grew up in New 266 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 1: York City. What's the crazy easiest thing you ever saw 267 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,439 Speaker 1: on the subway? And he said he saw two Hasidic 268 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: dudes French kissing deep French kissing on the on the 269 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,679 Speaker 1: subway the middle of the day. I was like, that's 270 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: a mind blowing just two rabbis going at it. 271 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 3: It's like a poster in your art school girlfriend's apartment. 272 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: I was like, it's kind of like an Eric Andrey 273 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 1: show bit. Can I borrow that from those. 274 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 3: In some type of blasphemy? Like if you do that, 275 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 3: they won't let you get buried somewhere. 276 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: I'm sure, yeah? Worth it? So any other bombing stories, 277 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: any other things that you like. 278 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 3: So there was this one. There was this one open 279 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 3: mic that I was at in San Francisco at this 280 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 3: place called the Brainwash that isn't there anymore. It was 281 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 3: like a laundry mat slash open mic. 282 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 1: Oh, it sounds like a great venue. 283 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 3: Oh, that's where I started. Maybe. It was like there 284 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,560 Speaker 3: was this guy and he was like bugging the host 285 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 3: to get up, bugging the host to get up, and 286 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 3: the host was like, fuck you man, I'm not putting 287 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 3: you up, and the guy just kept bugging him, kept 288 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 3: bugging him, and finally the host puts him up, and 289 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 3: the guy just starts eating shit. And it's only five minutes, right, yeah, 290 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 3: but he's just eating a bag of Dixie's so terrible. Yeah, 291 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 3: he decides to turn on the host and start making 292 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 3: fun of the host. 293 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,439 Speaker 1: Oh no, the host. 294 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 3: Grabs a knife and tries to stab him. 295 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 2: What. 296 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was pretty great. And then everybody like grabbed 297 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 3: the host and like carry him outside. 298 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: The host had a knife and was ready to commit 299 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:27,000 Speaker 1: on the sudden. 300 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 3: No, he didn't have a knife. He like grabbed it. 301 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 3: It was like one of those silk they were walking 302 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 3: because it was like laundry mat slash bar slash they 303 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 3: serve food too. 304 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,559 Speaker 1: A laundry mat that served food and beer and like booze. 305 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, and they had Pinballshit. 306 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: What kind of magical laundry mat is this? 307 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,480 Speaker 3: Ah Soma, If anybody here. 308 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,960 Speaker 1: You could wash your clothes and do and and drink. 309 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 3: And watch open my comedy. It was really great. 310 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 1: So he grabbed a knife from the kitchen, well. 311 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 3: Like from the counter, like they had the uh you 312 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 3: know they have the thing where they keep all the 313 00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 3: silver were in like I think they had just. 314 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 1: Got he grabbed like a butter knife. He grabbed them. 315 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,079 Speaker 3: He grabbed a butter knife, and it was like trying 316 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:11,439 Speaker 3: to go and then everybody like carried him outside. 317 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:13,839 Speaker 1: That's like a Michelle Gondry music video. 318 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was great. 319 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 1: I was in a laundry mat doing my clothes, but 320 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 1: I was also doing stand up, but I was also 321 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 1: there was also a restaurant and a bar, and then 322 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: people were fighting with butter knives. 323 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 3: It was really great. I missed those old days of 324 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 3: stand up when it was scary. 325 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're fucking rap. They were hell, but they were 326 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: like they made us men. 327 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 3: Yeah that's just sad. 328 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's kind of like, Yeah, it's not as you 329 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 1: can always go back to those shows. Those shows still exist. 330 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, but you it's like I don't even move the 331 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 3: way that I used to. I was like back then, 332 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 3: I was supposed to be in that room. Now it's 333 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 3: like a weird. 334 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: It's a weird feeling going back to those it's a 335 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: weird sadness going back to those room. You feel like 336 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: something is terribly wrong. 337 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't sleep on a couch anymore. I'm not 338 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 3: excited about the potential of what's gonna happen anymore. 339 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: I went to uh Columbus, Ohio one time to do 340 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 1: a gig. It was it was at a small venue. 341 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 1: It felt like almost like a sports bar. But they 342 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 1: had a stage. I had a proper stage and a mic, 343 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 1: and they did book me like they flew me out. 344 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: They paid me like a decent check. And I don't know. 345 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: I think this is like right before the air Gonder 346 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 1: Show started. But I'm on stage and I'm doing well. 347 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 1: I wasn't bombing. I was on stage just all college kids. 348 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: The place is packed. Maybe it was like season one 349 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 1: of the air Gun Show. Not sure place is packed. 350 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 1: I'm doing well. There's this super drunk white girl in 351 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: the front and like front row texting the whole time, 352 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: talking oblivious to me on stage, oblivious of the part 353 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 1: of a show. And I'm like trying to like roaster 354 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 1: he politely to be like, hey, I'm in the middle 355 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: of work right now, sweetie, can you shut the fuck up? 356 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 1: Like doing like little things like that, like playfully like 357 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 1: trying to get her to shut the fuck up, but 358 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: she won't, and she's being belligerent and texting, and I go, 359 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 1: give me your phone, and she's like, okay, okay. And 360 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 1: then I grabbed her phone. I looked up mom in 361 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,160 Speaker 1: her contacts and I texted. I texted her mom, Mom, 362 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: I've always had a thing for dad. And the crowd 363 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 1: erupts like, oh shit, and I'm like and I was like, 364 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna hold your phone up here until your mom 365 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: starts responding. Her mom starts responding crazy, shit, I'm running 366 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: back shit. And then I give her phone back, thinking 367 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: like that you've been reprimanded. Now you can you can 368 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 1: do damage control with your mom. You can say that, 369 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: you know, that's her opportunity to be like, oh, comedian, 370 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 1: grab my phone and he's fucking with you. And then 371 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 1: she was so drunk, I don't think she processed anything 372 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: that happened. And she just kept blabbing away and kept 373 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: being fucking annoying. So it's like, goddamn it, sorry, I 374 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 1: can give me your phone, and I go, hey, everybody, 375 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: I'm going to pass this phone around. Let's pass it 376 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: around the whole audience and just text any text Her 377 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 1: mom text her dad text anybody in her phone anything 378 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: you want, and like hundreds of kids got access to 379 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 1: her phone and texted god knows what. I have no 380 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 1: idea what the kids did amazing. Then the phone, the 381 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: phone got back to her. She's kind of like in 382 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: and out, and then she's like grabs her phone. She 383 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: starts looking at it, and I see her turn like 384 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: bugs bunny thermometer, red with anger, with like drunken anger, 385 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 1: and like just like inhaling all the fucking foul texts 386 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,920 Speaker 1: these college kids are probably sending to like every one 387 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 1: of her friends and family and anyone in her phone 388 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,879 Speaker 1: ex boyfriends, old Boston is, people she currently works with 389 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 1: who knows, who knows what Jiva, yeah, demon pop pop, 390 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 1: like yeah, I'll just like just the fucking heinous debris 391 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,199 Speaker 1: that these people, these the vitriol that whatever. I have 392 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 1: no idea. I'm not responsible entirely for what they said, 393 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:44,440 Speaker 1: but like just heinous cribes against humanity. So I see 394 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 1: her just reacting to all these incoming ship on her phone, 395 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 1: and then she just and then I just go back 396 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,920 Speaker 1: and I'm like kind of clocking out of the corner 397 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,400 Speaker 1: of my eye and I just go back to my set, like, Hey, 398 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 1: what's up with the Duelibbity blue or whatever. Then she 399 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:01,880 Speaker 1: just jumps on stage and sings like a big haymaker 400 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,200 Speaker 1: at me, and I like whoa and like matrix tight 401 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 1: sheet out of the way. She almost punched me right 402 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,879 Speaker 1: in the face, and then I'm like looking at security, 403 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,639 Speaker 1: like help help me. And then like some college kids 404 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,440 Speaker 1: just kind of like dragged her out real security because 405 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: the kid, yeah, it wasn't Yeah. I was like the 406 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,399 Speaker 1: security didn't even help. They were like cracking up in 407 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 1: the background. They're like this guy's crazy. 408 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:22,680 Speaker 2: Man. 409 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,240 Speaker 1: I was like, no, help me out right now, and 410 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 1: I had some like eighteen year old kids like help 411 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 1: me out. So like the kids like kind of like 412 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,959 Speaker 1: dragged her out, and then finally security came in dragged 413 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 1: her out, and I was like what the fuck? And 414 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 1: but like the crowd is erupting at this point. It 415 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: was actually a really good set and the crowd's erupting, 416 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,919 Speaker 1: and I kind of ended early after that. I was like, 417 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,439 Speaker 1: there's not really any jokes I can do after this. 418 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 1: I can't go back to like be like she Game 419 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: of Thrones or whatever the fuck, you. 420 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 2: Know what I mean. 421 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like the set's gonna be short, but whatever, 422 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,920 Speaker 1: I'm going out on a high. And then as I'm 423 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:58,679 Speaker 1: leaving the venue, she's outside in the hallway and I'm like, 424 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 1: oh fuck, and he looks at me like none of 425 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: that ever even happened, and she was like we Sam, 426 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: can I get a sound fanling you? And I was 427 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:13,120 Speaker 1: like really, it's like her brain just control all deleted everything, 428 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,880 Speaker 1: and she was like what's up. She's like, I had 429 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 1: a great time to do and like no anger. She 430 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,720 Speaker 1: was just like, whoa, that was fun, Like comedy, That's 431 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 1: what a comedy show is. Like, I was like, didn't 432 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: I just like destroy your life fifteen ways? 433 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 3: Everybody said that you were trying to blow your brother? 434 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 3: And now she's just like, hey, good. 435 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:32,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 436 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: She was just like that was fun. Comedy shows are crazy. 437 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 2: With aeric codrey. 438 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 1: With aeric codrey, Well, what's the worst you've ever seen? 439 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: Somebody bomb? 440 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:51,320 Speaker 2: Oh? 441 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,159 Speaker 3: I have that. I wrote this one down too. This 442 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 3: was this was in Denver years ago. We were at 443 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,440 Speaker 3: this bar called the lions Layer. Yeah, and this guy. 444 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 3: You know how when you first start comedy, there's these 445 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:04,479 Speaker 3: guys who are like, you were technically a comic, but 446 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 3: mostly you're just like trying to stay out of jail, 447 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Yeah, don't like these guys 448 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:09,919 Speaker 3: on that. 449 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,640 Speaker 1: I mean, everybody you start with is a total psychopath. 450 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent. Like in the beginning, it's like 451 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 3: all crazy people. 452 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 1: In the beginning, you're surrounded by lunatics. 453 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 3: Yeah. So this was one of those guys. And we 454 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 3: were at the. 455 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: Lions, Like, where's the Lions Layer? 456 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 3: It's off a Colfax in Denver, like the old Colfax 457 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,720 Speaker 3: if you remember, it was pretty pretty wild. 458 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,479 Speaker 1: Is it like a comedy club? What is it? 459 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 3: No, it's just a bar. It's just a a shitty bar, 460 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,159 Speaker 3: a dive but classic. But we were in the Lions, 461 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 3: like this guy comes in with this girl and he's 462 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 3: like one of those guys. He's just known for being 463 00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,439 Speaker 3: nuts or whatever. And he goes on stage and he 464 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 3: does this whole bombing, does this whole bit about how 465 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,760 Speaker 3: much he loves this girl named Allison, who is the 466 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,480 Speaker 3: girl he brought, And he's saying crazy like he's like, 467 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 3: oh my god, he's like declaring his love. 468 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: He says it. How is she reacting? 469 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 2: Bro? 470 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,239 Speaker 3: He says. At one point he's like he's like, I 471 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,920 Speaker 3: love you, Alison. She is like, if some guy came 472 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 3: in here and he had AIDS and he pulled out 473 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 3: his dirty AIDS ridden dick and he said, I would 474 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 3: have to suck that dick to save your life. I 475 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:20,920 Speaker 3: would do it to save you Allison. Right. So he's 476 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 3: saying all this crazy shit bombing. The girl puts her 477 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 3: head in her hands, like she's crying right the bar center. 478 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 3: This guy Tony, he thinks that she's laughing because he 479 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,399 Speaker 3: thinks it's funny because he's a degenerate. So she's crying 480 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,600 Speaker 3: with her head in their hands. Tony comes up and 481 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:44,400 Speaker 3: slaps her on the back. It's like like I know, right, 482 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,920 Speaker 3: And she's crying and Tony's like ha ha. And then 483 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 3: the comic asks her to marry him. He's like, and Alison, 484 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 3: just in front of here, in front of all these people, 485 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 3: I just want to ask, will you marry me? And 486 00:21:56,840 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 3: she goes, you already know the answer and she runs 487 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 3: out and he ran out. Oh my lord, it was 488 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 3: really amazing. 489 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 1: Why did that guy do this? 490 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 3: He's crazy, man, because he's crazy. 491 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: In like a shitty dive bard, like not a romantic 492 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: setting dog. 493 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,439 Speaker 3: And she's crying into her hands and the bartenders just 494 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 3: got his hand on her back like this is great. 495 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was it sucking Aids Dick to save you. 496 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 1: It's like, no one asked you to say that. A 497 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 1: crazy scenario. It was a crazy scenario. And it's not 498 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,360 Speaker 1: stand up. So it's just he's just bombing and he's 499 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:39,360 Speaker 1: like stinking. 500 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,399 Speaker 3: Up the room everybody, and you know we're all up 501 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:42,880 Speaker 3: there just waiting to go, like. 502 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: Just waiting to tell Joe j alright. 503 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, I have just joked about the bus. I was 504 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 3: gonna tell and now you're gonna fucking talk about sucking 505 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,119 Speaker 3: Aids Dick. Everybody el me in the room is into 506 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 3: this dude. And then she ran out and he followed her. 507 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 3: It is crazy ship. 508 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 1: That's fucking crazy. 509 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:12,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really good. It's really really good. 510 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 2: With Aeric Condrey, With Aeric Condrey. 511 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 1: What's the craziest ship you've ever seen in your life 512 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,440 Speaker 1: before your very very eyes. And it doesn't have to 513 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:31,560 Speaker 1: be anything dark like but just like fucking Tony taking 514 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:34,440 Speaker 1: a big dump on the subway kind of wild. 515 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,439 Speaker 3: I don't know, the craziest thing I've ever seen in 516 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 3: my wife. That's a hard one. 517 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 1: It's a hard one. I've had. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. 518 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,879 Speaker 3: I saw three dudes banging it a hot and a 519 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 3: look into a hot tub. 520 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: One time, just three boys having a good old time. 521 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, well I think I think it was two old dudes. 522 00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 3: And then the younger one was a sex worker because 523 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 3: he was like way too hot for them. 524 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: Oh it's like a lemon party. 525 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,879 Speaker 3: I was opening for STEVEO with the Bray Improv and 526 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 3: I don't have a car. You know, I don't drive, 527 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 3: so I had to get a spot at the Leakinta 528 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,800 Speaker 3: because I couldn't go back and forth to l A 529 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:13,560 Speaker 3: the whole weekend. 530 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:16,399 Speaker 1: Dude, I fucking tat. I'll give you a ride to 531 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,879 Speaker 1: La Quinta. Dude, I'm fucking these two old guys. 532 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 3: Later he didn't, he didn't, which sucks. So I and 533 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 3: then I was just like, I had like a couple 534 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,600 Speaker 3: of tall kids, and I was like, but from what 535 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,119 Speaker 3: I saw around the corner, it looked like it was 536 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 3: like a train. 537 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,439 Speaker 1: Like he was a dude, a human centipede. 538 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what it looked like. But like I got there, 539 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:37,879 Speaker 3: they split up. 540 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 1: You were you're a bit of a party boomer. Yeah, 541 00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:43,600 Speaker 1: you're a cock. Blocker, which it. 542 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 3: Was weird because I wanted to be like, hey, they 543 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:51,199 Speaker 3: do it like I don't. Hey got school dude, whatever 544 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:58,200 Speaker 3: it like, it's cool, it's reddite. What else I'm gonna 545 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 3: go and drink like you having a better night in 546 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 3: front of stevens Oh no, did you bomb? I didn't 547 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,199 Speaker 3: do great. They just watched Steve Bough, you know what 548 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 3: I mean. So it's like anything else is not. 549 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 1: Opening up for a celebrity is a tough fucking nugget. 550 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,159 Speaker 3: It's I haven't really done it a lot, so nobody. 551 00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,920 Speaker 1: That's the hardest I ever bomb opening up for Chris Rock. 552 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: I really, that's the hardest I bombed in like recent life. 553 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,399 Speaker 1: It's closet recent life. I mean, like the first like 554 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,320 Speaker 1: ten years of doing stand up is bombing. But like 555 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:33,440 Speaker 1: in recent life, that was a fucking harsh Was it 556 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 1: like a bill? Was it like a big venue, huge 557 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:41,359 Speaker 1: theater in New Orleans, huge beautiful theater, And I like 558 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,679 Speaker 1: I never did great opening up for his audience. I 559 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 1: would just like hold my ground, you know, I would 560 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:52,200 Speaker 1: just do like short enough and well enough where they 561 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 1: like want to completely turn on me. But I was 562 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,199 Speaker 1: never lighting up the night sky right, but they let 563 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 1: you do it. But this night I was struggling so hard. 564 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 1: My girlfriend came to the show the first three nights, 565 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: so I was like really trying to fucking bring my 566 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: egg and then she left a day early. And then 567 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 1: the day she left and I didn't have the pressure 568 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,760 Speaker 1: of impressing her. I like kind of was phoning it 569 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,919 Speaker 1: in and not realizing it. And I was like halfway 570 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:22,240 Speaker 1: through my set and then the crickets are getting louder 571 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 1: and I wasn't really paying attention. Then I just hear 572 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 1: this guy in the back go next, and I was like, 573 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 1: well and instead of instead of like just getting the 574 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 1: fuck out of there or trying to like roll into comedy, 575 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I turned into fucking 576 00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,440 Speaker 1: what's that Patrick Swazy movie Roadhouse? I turned into a 577 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,080 Speaker 1: guy from Roadhouse. I get up here, motherfuckers say that 578 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,400 Speaker 1: to my face? WHOA Because I was like gonna try 579 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,879 Speaker 1: to like, yeah, I don't know. I turned into like 580 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,439 Speaker 1: the bad guy from fucking Karate Kids. And I was 581 00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: like because I was like, I was like, in my mind, 582 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: I'll get him up here and I'll roast him and 583 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: then like and like he's like I'm not moving. I'm 584 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,119 Speaker 1: not going up to you and kidding me. I'm like 585 00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 1: getting like an expensive seat. I'm just chilling the back 586 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 1: and making fun of you. And then I tried to 587 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 1: like and then after that, I tried to like roll 588 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,240 Speaker 1: into another joke. I was like, oh, anyway, a crazy 589 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 1: show or whatever the fu and then uh boy did 590 00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:17,439 Speaker 1: I bomb? And then I just remember this dude, like 591 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 1: Puerto Rican dude in the front row looked up and 592 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 1: he goes, come on, Eric, you can do better than this. 593 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:28,399 Speaker 1: Oh no, because he loves like he kind of liked me, 594 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,600 Speaker 1: and I was like, shit, man, I can't. I can't, dude, 595 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,679 Speaker 1: I can't. I'm like I just try to do I 596 00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: like try to end on my most universal joke with 597 00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 1: that Cuban sign and like kind of got like a that, 598 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:46,719 Speaker 1: but I already like fucking cobra kai dojo, the fucking 599 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 1: come on, motherfucker, like like I got off Sagent Hannibal 600 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: was there. He's like, this isn't a bar show. You 601 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,120 Speaker 1: can't be like come on up here like just something 602 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,320 Speaker 1: like drunk at like a bar. This is like thousands 603 00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 1: of people, man, like they're not gonna go leave their seat, 604 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,959 Speaker 1: Like what fistfight you on stage, like that's crazy, what 605 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,919 Speaker 1: do you think's going on here? And uh, I just 606 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:12,000 Speaker 1: remember being dead devastated. But Chris and his tour manager 607 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 1: were so sweet about it. They were like, oh yeah. 608 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,560 Speaker 1: Chris was like, oh, get me a big hug, and 609 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 1: he was like, ask me what happened When Prince opened 610 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 1: up for the Rolling Stones. I go, what happened? And 611 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,679 Speaker 1: he goes. People were like boo, like throwing bottles at Prints, 612 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 1: like get off the fucking stage, Rolling Stones. That made 613 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:30,119 Speaker 1: that made me feel a little bit better. And then 614 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 1: his tour managers like old school dude who like tour 615 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 1: managed James Brown and shit, and he was like, ask 616 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 1: me what happened when Chris played London and I go, 617 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,120 Speaker 1: what happened? He goes, he bomb so fucking bad and 618 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 1: it was our first show of the tour and I 619 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: was like, oh yeah, and he goes. And then he 620 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,880 Speaker 1: was so frustrated. He like went back to the club 621 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 1: like as they were closing at eleven pm, and he's like, 622 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 1: just get me back on stage, and he like proceeded 623 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: to have like the best set of his life. He's like, 624 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: bombings makes you stronger, man, it doesn't make you weaker kid, 625 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 1: he was like an old like beat Nick. Yeah, he's 626 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,920 Speaker 1: really nice. So that made me feel better. 627 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 3: But I mean, do you like bombing? Are you one 628 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 3: of those guys who like some comedy? 629 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 1: So that's like Nor McDonald said he had a bombing 630 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: and Kevin Barnett used to tell me, n yeah, yeah, 631 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 1: he's like I like that. The audience like paid all 632 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 1: this money they thought they thought me and they're like 633 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,280 Speaker 1: fucking pissed about it. But I don't know. To me, 634 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: I'm too sensitive, man, I hate I don't mind if 635 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 1: if there's like a bunch of comics on the show 636 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,560 Speaker 1: and they're all bombing, then I'm okay. But it was 637 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: just me bombing. It was like this was the lineup 638 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 1: for the show. By the way, it was like Jeff 639 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:36,400 Speaker 1: Ross who crushed, then Me who bombed, then like Hannibal, 640 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: then Dave Chappelle, than Chris Rock and they all like destroyed. 641 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 1: Like I was the one week link. It was a 642 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:48,600 Speaker 1: nightmare scenario. And I'm like up against like like the 643 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,240 Speaker 1: Mount Rushmore stand up comedy, you know. 644 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 3: What I mean. That's the worst. I remember one time 645 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 3: I opened for the Waynes Brothers and they wouldn't even 646 00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 3: let me meet them, and then I ate a bat 647 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 3: I could dix and then they for real would let 648 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 3: me just like I did, just like go home, like 649 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 3: on the bart, like oh god, dude, it's a long 650 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 3: bart ride. It's like Tommy T's. It was like pleasant 651 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,240 Speaker 3: and it was like the last stop from the scene. 652 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 3: It was like, Man, yeah, I don't like bombing either. 653 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 3: I mean, it happens sometimes I do get The only 654 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 3: time I kind of like bombing is sometimes I'll get 655 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 3: in my head where I'll be like, for whatever reason, 656 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 3: I'll decide that I don't like them, yeah, and then 657 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 3: and then I'll go up and I have it in 658 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 3: my head that I don't like them. So if I don't, 659 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 3: if I don't do well, I kind of feel. 660 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: Okay about it, all right, David. They said it couldn't 661 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 1: be done, and we done this. 662 00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:41,640 Speaker 3: I said it couldn't be stopped. 663 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:51,160 Speaker 1: I said it couldn't be started. We did it, all right, buddy. 664 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: It was great talking to you. If you come to 665 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: New York at me, ask I will I will den, 666 00:30:55,360 --> 00:31:00,440 Speaker 1: I'll hit you up. Hell yeah, man, always a pleasure. 667 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,480 Speaker 1: I'll be with aericdre bombing with Aeric andres brought to 668 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 1: you by Will Ferreld's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. 669 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:12,520 Speaker 1: Executive produced by Hans Sani and Olivia Aguilar, edited and 670 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 1: sound designed by Andy Harris. Our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. 671 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,320 Speaker 1: And if you want to confess to your own bombing 672 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 1: moments or give us a shout out, go rate us 673 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 1: five stars and drop a review on your podcast app 674 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 1: of choice right about your own stories of bombing at life. 675 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,080 Speaker 1: If you're on Apple Podcasts, you can also subscribe to 676 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 1: Big MANI Players Diamond to get exclusive bonus content with 677 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,440 Speaker 1: every episode. Listen to all my episodes ad free. The 678 00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 1: guests on Bombing with Eric Andre were recorded before the 679 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 1: SAG app Just Strike, So leave me alone, Internet, Bye