WEBVTT - More Than Couple Goals 0:00:00.520 --> 0:00:02.440 Calling all my Sweetish to the forefront. 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:04.520 I'm your host, Christophna. 0:00:04.240 --> 0:00:07.160 Hazel and this is the Keep It Positive Sweetish Show. 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:12.680 Welcome to Keep it Positive, Sweetye, the place where we 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:16.079 he'll grow and learn together. Toya and Red Russian have 0:00:16.120 --> 0:00:19.279 built something people don't just admire, they connect to it. 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:24.160 Whether through marriage, business, reality, television, or social media. They've 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:27.560 shown what it looks like to love each other publicly, intentionally, 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:29.080 and without apology. 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:31.360 This conversation is about. 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:35.320 Modern black love, fatherhood, visibility, and building a light together 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:39.000 while the world is watching. Here, Henley, please give a 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:43.120 very warm welcome to the Russians. The Russians have built 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:49.840 lies people have watched evolved publicly for years through business, family, reality, television, entrepreneurship, 0:00:50.159 --> 0:00:52.199 and now opening even more of. 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:54.280 Their everyday lives through their content. 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:57.360 But beyond all of that, what really stands out is 0:00:57.400 --> 0:00:59.520 the way Toya and Red show up for each other 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:03.800 as husband and wife, parents, business partners, and leaders. They 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:08.319 created a relationship rooted in friendship, honesty, and growth. This 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:12.480 conversation is about marriage, fatherhood, protecting your peace, and what 0:01:12.560 --> 0:01:15.160 it really takes to build together while the world. 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:18.200 Is watching kids, Heeley, please give a very warm welcome 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:20.240 to my dear friends, the Russians. 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:23.360 Hey, hey, bot, y'all on here. 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:28.559 How are y'all doing? 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:30.640 We're doing great, y'all look good. 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:32.680 Everybody talking about how good y'all look at a unit. 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:38.080 Appreciate you she dressed me? Yeah, I got it. 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:39.880 You know you can be having to help them men out. 0:01:40.120 --> 0:01:41.160 Listen, help listen. 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:43.480 You did a great job get them together, since I 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:45.880 appreciate it. So we're gonna play a quick game to 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.680 get started. And the game is called whose idea was it? 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:52.080 So I'm gonna ask questions you just point to who's 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:54.120 who would definitely be the person that this would apply 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:57.280 to you. The first one is, let's film content for this. 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:04.080 Who apologizes first? 0:02:05.760 --> 0:02:10.720 That's good, Okay, I gotta get better. That's good. 0:02:11.040 --> 0:02:17.639 Who starts an argument and then as confused. Who's more 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:20.560 likely to say were good when they're definitely not good. 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:24.440 Who's strict with the kids. 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:28.440 I just want to let the kids just do. 0:02:28.520 --> 0:02:30.840 Most ass, Dude, they'd be like, don't tell. 0:02:30.720 --> 0:02:32.200 You, mama. 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:38.280 Who spends more money? Who's more likely to check on 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:40.240 everybody else before checking on themselves? 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:44.959 M h, Well, I guess that's kind of both of 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:45.600 us in a way. 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:50.120 Yeah, yeah, who's more likely to randomly start a deep 0:02:50.160 --> 0:02:51.440 conversation late at night? 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:58.680 We're like, that is me for sure, Repon, I gotta 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:00.119 get up at five o'cl. 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:03.840 Thank y'all. So, but that was good. 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:07.200 I actually love like seeing who each other things is 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:08.560 the person that does certain things. 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:10.400 That was great. You guys have. 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:13.240 Done such a good job for years keeping your lives private, 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:15.799 and now all of a sudden, you guys are putting 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:18.359 your life out there. We've seen your life TOYR play 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:20.200 out for years on TV. 0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:21.320 Red. 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:24.280 I've known you for years and you've always worked behind 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:26.640 the scenes. You've worked for when I knew you, work 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:28.880 with NBA players making sure their businesses and day to 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:31.440 day were running right, and you were always the guy 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:35.320 behind the toy You've always been in front. So what 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:37.440 made you, guys aside? Now is the time we want 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:38.920 to put our life out there more. 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:45.000 I guess like it came about with us just doing 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:48.119 videos and just trying different things and whatever, and Red 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:51.280 coming out of his shadow more so to him just 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:53.880 being a team player. Really, Like you know, I'm like, okay, 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.400 they let's do this, and then some stuff he'd be like, okay, 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:58.600 we could do that. He started getting more and more comfortable. 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:01.400 That was good. I me bean cracking up because I'm like, 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:02.280 this is so real. 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:05.640 He just thought getting more comfortable. When I saw he 0:04:05.760 --> 0:04:07.880 was on board or whatever, I'm like, okay, I don't 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:09.480 want to force him to push him to do it 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:12.920 for sure, you know. So when he came on board, 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:14.200 I was like, let's do it. 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:17.200 I love that. So I remember when y'all first met. 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:18.960 He was keeping it a big seat. 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:20.839 Oh yes, we both were listen. 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:25.560 I was like, who is it. I'm like, listen. 0:04:25.640 --> 0:04:27.279 It was one of them you know how you go 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:29.320 on a date with somebody and you post the food 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:31.120 and not the man, and you post the place and 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:34.919 not the man. That was me and him. We would 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.400 go all kind of days, go all kinds of places, 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:39.360 and never post each other, and then it's like I 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:43.160 pop up pregnant. Everybody like what. But you know, we 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:45.080 were feeling, you know, getting to know each other for 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:46.960 real and enjoin each other in private. 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:47.320 Yeah. 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:49.200 Let's talk about the importance of that, because I think 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:51.320 a lot of people now, especially in the social media world, 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:54.680 were so quick to push our relationships out there before 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:57.200 we actually cultivate and build that friendship. 0:04:57.200 --> 0:05:00.479 What was the importance of keeping it sacred for me? 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:03.600 You know, I had just gone through a divorce and 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:07.040 I spent a lot of time trying to like become whole, 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.080 you know, like myself or whatever. And when I met Rid, 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:14.680 we were really good friends, Like we talked a lot. 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:18.000 It was something different. Were just getting to know each 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.479 other and join each other's company, right, And I just 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:23.320 felt like that ain't something I want to share with 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:26.200 the world, Like I want to enjoy this moment, you know, 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:28.240 with us getting to know each other. And it was 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:31.120 so much better because we developed a friendship. You know, 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:33.640 he was there for me doing a very rough patch 0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:37.279 in my life, and we our relationship got stronger in 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:39.720 that period. And when we finally did, you know, go 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:42.120 public or whatever, we were at a place where we 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:46.440 was already like strong, like you know, so it really 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:47.039 didn't matter. 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:48.560 Yeah, I love that. Ray. 0:05:48.640 --> 0:05:50.760 What was it like for you coming into this relationship 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:53.640 and you were a private person as well, Like a 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:55.120 lot of people didn't know what you did, And I 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:56.680 guess that was because of the people you worked with. 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:58.960 You knew how to like keep the main thing, the 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:00.800 main thing, what was it like like coming into this 0:06:00.839 --> 0:06:02.040 relationship and. 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:03.320 Really feeling to you. 0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:05.680 But then she's like, I don't want I don't want 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:07.560 people to know we talking like was there where you 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:08.800 were Like what you mean, I'm. 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:09.400 Ready to tell the world. 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:13.279 Well, now you know you know me, and you knew 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:15.599 me before all this. It was kind of different. Like 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:18.000 I was telling her like, chill, shorty, you know what 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:18.559 I'm saying. 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:23.120 You know. I was like, yo, calm down, I know. 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:24.560 That far. 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:27.680 Crazy. 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:33.360 Nah, Just like she said, we became real close and 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:33.840 it was. 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:37.800 Just like, let me just get this glitter off of you, 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:40.080 because it's just that's a good that's a good woman. 0:06:40.440 --> 0:06:41.160 It was just. 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:45.599 I wasn't in the rush, you know. I wasn't in 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:49.600 the rush at all. Like I didn't mind just staying 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:53.120 back because I didn't really want to be out there. 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:55.480 I didn't want to be I was enjoying her. And 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:59.719 then when we did come out and you know, the 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:03.320 tea and different things like that, I knew what I 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.480 was signing up for, you know, so I had to 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:09.000 adjust and do that, but I really didn't care anything. 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:12.480 I cared about it's protecting her, protecting her image and 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:14.960 different things like that. Because I you know me, I 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:16.640 don't care. I don't care about nothing. 0:07:17.120 --> 0:07:21.360 I think that's what. It was. Just so different and 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:25.560 so like nachaliantic cool. You know some men just be thirsty. Yeah, 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:29.960 it's like relaxed, like Ray was like like damn, it 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.360 was one of the you know how women love a 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:35.480 challenge and it's like you you know, a person like 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:37.600 you and they feeling you, but it's like they just 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:41.920 so cool. Like I'm like, well, you a little too cool, 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:45.720 but just. 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:50.200 Thought I didn't even realize, Like it didn't really dawn 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:53.400 on me until people some people said something about it, 0:07:53.840 --> 0:07:56.680 like her posting you might see my arm and you 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:58.920 might see that, but I ain't even pay that. I 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:00.960 ain't even paid attention, you know what I'm saying, Like 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.360 it didn't even really it really didn't matter to me, 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:05.680 and I wasn't in a rush to be like, yo, 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:09.360 this is who I'm with or anything like that. Like 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.560 my people knew because she would come around, she would 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.960 doing different things like that, but I ain't really care. 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:19.160 But when we did, I mean it was cool. I 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:21.480 knew what I was signing up for, and like what 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.080 you're saying about the content stuff and different things we're 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:29.880 doing with that. I think it's another stage for us 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:34.920 as far as working together and finding something that's fun. 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:39.360 Like it's fun, you know what I'm saying, it's actually fun, 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:42.320 Like we be doing stuff like y'all see it and 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:46.000 y'all laugh, but like we probably shot it and was 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.920 dying laughing, like you know what I'm saying, Like we 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:51.880 in there like laugh were looking back at it, just 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:56.320 like crying laughing like this is it. So I think 0:08:56.360 --> 0:09:01.280 the whole new content thing, we just started a YouTube 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:04.680 series with couples. Times before we go out with couples, 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.439 do an activity or something so. 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:09.559 I can come out with yu. 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:12.960 Yeah. So I think it's just new things and just 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:13.680 you know. 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:17.760 And most importantly, it's celebrating love because you hear so 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:20.840 many negative things about love and people finding a person 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:25.200 and not understanding that, like stop looking at other people 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:28.559 in their situations and embrace what you have and embrace 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:31.560 your person and date. It's so here to like date 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.240 and have fun. So we bring other couples along and 0:09:34.280 --> 0:09:37.040 we do fun date activities with other couples and it 0:09:37.200 --> 0:09:40.600 just be just a breath of fresh air, like to 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:44.160 hear them talk about each other and they all be like, 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:46.760 I didn't know you felt that way, Like it just 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:49.400 be the sweetest thing. So that's something we really enjoyed it. 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:51.640 And I'm sure that's really good for them as well. 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:52.760 I love that. 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:55.439 Okay, we got a new YouTube show that I can 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:56.720 see turn it into a show. 0:09:56.840 --> 0:09:57.800 A couple of signs. 0:09:58.440 --> 0:09:59.079 I love it. 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:02.280 That's amazing. Read you talk about I knew what I 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:05.400 was getting into. A lot of people, even for me, 0:10:05.559 --> 0:10:07.679 like dating men know what they're getting into, but when 0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:08.560 they get into it, then. 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.240 They're like, oh god, like I didn't know it was 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:10.600 all this. 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:12.840 Was there ever a moment that you had to really 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:14.680 adjust to Toya's life. It's toy, this has been your 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:17.520 life since you was a kid, basically, you know, you know, 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:20.480 you had been exposed to so much in the entertainment 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:21.840 industry at a very young age. 0:10:21.880 --> 0:10:23.120 Was there a moment where. 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:25.040 Now you're like in her world where you were like, 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:26.720 I knew what I was signed up for, but this 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:27.080 is a lot. 0:10:28.679 --> 0:10:28.959 Nah. 0:10:29.360 --> 0:10:30.360 Really, you was like, I'm. 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:35.280 Ready because I understood the business from working with four yeah, 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:38.280 top athletes and stuff like that, so I know the business. 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:41.000 I know it comes with it. 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:43.679 So I've seen it so when I said I'm signing 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:46.240 up for it, I know what I'm signing up for. 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:49.960 Like I knew exactly when I came into when she 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:52.720 came into my life and we started dating, it was 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:56.280 nothing I seen that I haven't seen before. Yeah, you know, 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.120 I just wasn't dealing with it. I wasn't in a 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:00.080 relationship like that. 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:05.760 But you know, yeah, yeah, I've experienced it firsthand where 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:07.160 it's like you knew what this was. 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:09.200 I've been living his life. 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.160 Yeah, we ever. 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:15.520 Had that, you not understanding my life or you because 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:17.640 Red always was the type of person you know that 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:19.800 you know him. He always played the back and he's 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.520 okay with playing a back to this day, Like he'll 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.679 push you to shine and he's okay with just being 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.559 there like it never was. I want to be seen. 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:35.800 I want to like that's why you don't care to 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:38.839 poor him, Like, come on, Red, let's do this. But 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:40.679 he just so chill. 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:41.520 I love that. 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:44.640 What is one thing that you think is misunderstood about 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.040 relationships going more public? 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:54.000 I think I think the comparing thing. I think people 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:59.200 like love to compare their situations to other people and 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:03.600 wanted people to like be somebody that they're not instead 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:06.880 of just this is the person you're with, like you 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:10.760 either gonna make this work and are you gonna move on? 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:12.880 You can't change them to be who you want them 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:14.960 to be because they are who they are. So I 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.120 think that's one thing that messes up a lot of 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:20.800 relationships or whatever. And like the forcing to go public 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:24.280 so fast, it just it just gives me. I just 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:26.480 want to show I got a man, like, you know, 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:28.520 without even knowing the person. It'd be a couple of 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:31.199 weeks later monthsly, like why did I do it? 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:32.040 Right? 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:34.920 I think I think it's the Internet. I think people 0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:40.440 don't realize the internet is so judgmental and we don't. 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:43.040 We don't, we don't realize. 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:46.920 I mean people don't realize that, and they search for 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:51.000 validation and accepting. So even if you havn't issues in 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:54.800 your relationship, you're so scared of what the internet gonna say. 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:57.600 So once people put the Internet in their business, they 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:00.440 worried about this and worry about that because every everybody 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:01.040 had problems. 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:02.120 Yeah, everybody. 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:05.640 Like if you sit down and talk to ten couples, 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:08.840 out of eight or nine of those couples, y'all dealing 0:13:08.880 --> 0:13:11.280 with or have dealt with the same thing, but we 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.760 are so caught up into the internet. Look like this, 0:13:14.840 --> 0:13:17.160 I gotta look like that, I gotta look like that. 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:20.720 But it's just you know this what it is. 0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.360 Yeah, no, the Internet is. It's a monster. 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:24.240 It is. 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.320 I feel like when we were growing up, it was 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:28.480 if we didn't have all that, you know, so it 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:30.600 was writing letters and like all you really talk to 0:13:30.720 --> 0:13:32.679 is your friends. Your friends and your family knew, but 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:35.120 the world didn't know. I feel like now we live 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:38.680 in an age where there's the possibility that the entire 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:40.880 world could know your business based on what you put 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:43.160 out there. What are things that you to do to 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.680 protect your peace and the parts of your life that 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:46.880 you do want to keep private. 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:51.400 I feel like everything is not for everybody, you know, 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:54.679 Like you get to these people get to these this 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:57.560 place where they feel like, Okay, I'm going through this, 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:01.599 I want to share this. It be something that backfires, 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:06.520 like eventually, like in a backfire, just sharing it. Everything 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:08.520 is not for everybody to know when we're going through 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:12.439 stuff like we like every other couple, our relationship, it's 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:15.280 not perfect. We go through things just like everybody else. 0:14:15.320 --> 0:14:18.280 But it's like being able to communicate with your person 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:21.120 talk about it, you know what I'm saying, instead of 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:24.080 like go and tell all of your friends putting your 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:26.960 business out on the internet, Like what is that gonna do? Yes, 0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.080 I don't understand that whole era of that, but like 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:32.920 we believe in like if we have issues or problems 0:14:32.960 --> 0:14:35.720 like talking to each other, it's important to have a village. 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:38.200 That's true. But our you know his mom, like you 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:41.560 know people that are not people that's going to drag us, 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:43.520 you know, like in the internet. 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:47.440 Girl and I even learn like evening the way we 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:48.479 get over something. 0:14:48.360 --> 0:14:50.840 They'd be like, I'm holding on to it, right, I 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:55.800 don't like Himna, I'll be guilty of there with my daughter. 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:58.760 Right you tell me stuff about it, man, I'll be like, 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:01.640 m hm, I don't. 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:03.480 Know for sure. 0:15:03.720 --> 0:15:06.800 Everything. I love that its see yourself and work it 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:08.000 out in your house. 0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:10.000 In your house, is it right there? 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:13.120 You guys got married in twenty twenty two going on 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:16.040 four years. I remember because you all got married right 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:18.000 around my birthday. You couldn't make it to my forties 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:21.400 because y'all were at CAO, y'all were in Kinlo getting married. 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:23.080 And yeah, we're gonna try to make it. But it 0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:26.960 was just crazy. But what has it been like in 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:29.440 these four years, Because like it's one thing to date 0:15:29.560 --> 0:15:33.320 and then you like you're blending families, you're blending businesses 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:34.520 and so many different things. 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:36.560 What is that journey been like for the two of you? 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:40.320 Marriage is a lot of work, you know, because it's 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:42.960 it's two people trying to become one, you know, operate 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.720 as one, like you're gonna respect this person, you gotta move, 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.640 you know, a certain way. So it does require a 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:52.920 lot of work in respecting each other and just being 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:55.440 on one accord. I think over the years, like with men, 0:15:55.560 --> 0:16:00.200 read we in a beginning, we built the friendship. So 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:03.160 even if we do have problems to go through things 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.480 like it's still a friendige Like some days I might 0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:08.280 not like you, but I love you, and that's my friend. 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:09.720 I gotta tell my friend. I got to talk to 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.480 my friends. So I feel like that's one thing in 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.600 a marriage and a relationship that's so important and I 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:18.760 can't stress that enough. Is becoming friends, like building that 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:23.440 friendship with your partner to where like I gotta tell 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:25.520 them that's my first thing. Like at night, were still 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:29.440 gonna find a way to talk. But I was what 0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:32.400 I was trying to say. Over the years, we you know, 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.760 we didn't have our ups and downs trying to like 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:39.840 learn how to move as one. Yeah, because that's that's work. 0:16:39.880 --> 0:16:42.320 When you when you used to being your own, you know, 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:44.680 doing your own thing and moving never having a really 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.240 answer to nobody, and then you operating this way, but 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:53.440 learning to come together and operate as one, it's work. 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.680 But I think one of the biggest things with us, 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:58.600 and I think both of us had kind of an 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:03.640 issue with it that we got better with was and 0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:06.679 it's crazy. I saw it today when I was researching. 0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:12.040 We were so quick to correct each other instead of 0:17:12.080 --> 0:17:19.679 focusing on connecting. Like it was all like for me, 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:24.439 I speak for me. I'm real big on if I 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:27.000 don't understand something, I debate with you because I want 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:29.480 you to show me where you're coming from. You know what, 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:32.520 I want you to show me where you're coming from. 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:35.000 But over the years with therapy, and I get it 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:39.280 from I used to have a group of very successful 0:17:39.280 --> 0:17:44.400 guys and we always talked and it's always debates, debates, 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.720 and we called it iron sharper and iron like we're 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:51.480 debating about this, with debating about this, but you're showing me, 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:55.240 you're showing me where you're coming from, and you're understanding 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:56.720 and you're articulating it. 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:58.640 And then over with. 0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:01.320 Therapy, I had to figure out with my people, with 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:05.480 my village and stuff like that, it's not necessarily always 0:18:05.560 --> 0:18:08.399 good because they they're not going to get it. And 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:15.679 instead of debating and instead of trying to correct, all right, 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.640 you got it, how can we connect and how can 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:20.800 we do that? And I think that was one of 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:24.280 the things that we fought with and got better over 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:24.760 the years. 0:18:26.280 --> 0:18:28.440 I was like, why do you have to debate everything 0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:31.600 that I'm saying? Got the great debate is not like this, 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:35.240 but over time, like he said, with therapy and everything, 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:38.320 it's definitely helped. Like now, I notice he don't do that. 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:41.679 So what made you want to go to therapy or 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:42.480 was it a choice to me? 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:44.480 In your own words, it's a collective decision where he 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:48.960 was like, yeah, I need to. 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:50.840 Wow, that's amazing. 0:18:51.160 --> 0:18:53.320 He kind of got me into because at first, because 0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:56.159 it's like very cliche, I need a therapist, so I 0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:58.359 want to see my whatever, But he's been doing it 0:18:58.359 --> 0:18:58.920 since I met. 0:18:59.240 --> 0:19:01.720 Yeah, I go because like you just spoke on earlier, 0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:05.360 I don't tell my friends and family and stuff, especially 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:07.520 about my relationship, like I don't. 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:08.040 I don't. 0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:12.440 I don't do that. Like my friends can't tell you. 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.040 Not one of my friends can tell you our deepest 0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:21.119 problem or anything like that, surface level, like they know 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:23.840 what I'm going through a business, family or whatever, but 0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:26.399 if it's dealing with me and my wife, they can't 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:30.240