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Speaker 1: Okay, I'm really excited for this interview. We have Candice

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Speaker 1: for back here. You're we were just talking before and

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Speaker 1: I felt like you were really a girl after my

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Speaker 1: own heart, Like you're just living in this life so curious.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel that on a daily basis? I think

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Speaker 1: so too. And I was looking at your podcast and

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Speaker 1: your little bio and like the about me and about

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Speaker 1: the podcast, and I was like, we are kindred spirits.

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Speaker 1: It's just a couple of curious women, um who understand

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Speaker 1: the messiness and complexity of people and of life and

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Speaker 1: like kind of removing shame from that and replacing it

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Speaker 1: with that curiosity. So I was really excited to come

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Speaker 1: on today. Well, part of your story that's so fascinating.

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Speaker 1: You just kind of touched on this, but you were

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Speaker 1: a former horn Star and so like as far as

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Speaker 1: like messiness goes or just human journeys like that, to me,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, this is fascinating. Like I've never had

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to really dig into this topic. And Chip

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Speaker 1: and I we um. Each month we have either a

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Speaker 1: theme or word that you were doing words and so

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Speaker 1: this month's word is expansion and I was like, this

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Speaker 1: is the perfect guest for this word, because I think that,

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Speaker 1: you know, as we go through life, it's like the

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Speaker 1: things that we don't know about are really scary a

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Speaker 1: lot of times. And so that's part of what I

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Speaker 1: enjoy about this podcast is getting to talk to people

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Speaker 1: who I wouldn't necessarily meet in any other capacity, um,

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Speaker 1: but whose stories I can just learn from and they've

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Speaker 1: really helped me to just have some more mind expansion,

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Speaker 1: you know. So I want to start, I'm like, how

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Speaker 1: do how does one wake up in the morning and go,

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Speaker 1: you know, what I want to do with my life

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Speaker 1: as to be a porn star? Like, how does that happen?

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Speaker 1: What does that look like? Can you talk us through

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Speaker 1: that part of your life. So there's this quote by

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Speaker 1: he's a rabbi and I believe also a doctor, Mark Gaffney,

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Speaker 1: and he says that sex is a journey and not

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Speaker 1: in action. And I love that quote so much because

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Speaker 1: I think you can look back at maybe your earliest

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Speaker 1: experience with sexuality, whether it was just a vague thought

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Speaker 1: that kind of passed by, or like your first experience,

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Speaker 1: whatever that was, and then compare it to where you

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Speaker 1: currently are, and you can't help see the evolution of that.

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Speaker 1: So for me, I mean, and everyone else's is like living,

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Speaker 1: breathing thing that's constantly evolving or expanding, if we're going

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Speaker 1: to go off the word. So from a young age,

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Speaker 1: for probably a multitude of reasons, I was really fascinated

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Speaker 1: with female sexuality and like the empowerment that can come

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Speaker 1: from totally owning, unapologetically and obviously at a young age,

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Speaker 1: that's such a big concept that you don't fully understand

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Speaker 1: the power of it or how you are necessarily going

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Speaker 1: to achieve um like stepping into that, you know, inner goddess,

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Speaker 1: if you will. But I knew when I saw women

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Speaker 1: like Tara Patrick or Pamela Anderson, I was like, those

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Speaker 1: women have something and whatever it is, whatever they've kind

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Speaker 1: of figured out, I want to figure it out. So

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Speaker 1: I just naturally kind of gravitated towards that. And then

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Speaker 1: as I was getting older and older, I just I mean,

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Speaker 1: Craigslist was huge back in the day, and I would

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Speaker 1: see ads for joining the industry there I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: that's too scared, you can't do that. It would be there,

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Speaker 1: like this little voice in my head, but I would

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Speaker 1: never kind of pull the trigger on it. So I

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Speaker 1: started working at Hooters and through that was doing like

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Speaker 1: centerfold bikini modeling like hot rods and motorcycle bikes that

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Speaker 1: kind of thing, and through that the industry is very blended,

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Speaker 1: so there's more money the more you take off, so

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Speaker 1: people like photographers will try to find someone that they

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Speaker 1: think would do well and kind of pitch them other

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Speaker 1: magazines or shoots, um or things of that nature. So

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Speaker 1: I just had a connection that way. I started um

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Speaker 1: webcam modeling, so I didn't show anything. It was just

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Speaker 1: kind of like very deetavanties like t Z but hiding everything,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, maybe this is going to be

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Speaker 1: my outlet. It was not. Um there are a lot

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Speaker 1: of demanding customers if you want to say, on the

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Speaker 1: other end, and I just am not a very agreeable

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Speaker 1: person like I just it's not in my nature. Um So,

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Speaker 1: it's like I don't want this to be the interface.

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Speaker 1: I want there to be a little bit more quality

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Speaker 1: control as to what my experience is going to be.

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Speaker 1: And there's no filter when you just like click go

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Speaker 1: live on a chatting site. UM So, I found a

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Speaker 1: website that I had come across and I thought everything

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Speaker 1: was real, like it was back when we had the

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Speaker 1: illusion that reality was reality and it wasn't scripted. So

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Speaker 1: it was these blonde bombshells in Miami in this gorgeous mansion,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, this is basically like the

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Speaker 1: Playboy mansion, but Miami. I want to go do that.

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Speaker 1: So I reached out to them and I was like,

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Speaker 1: do I audition? How do I? How do can I

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Speaker 1: be a part of this? This looks like this has

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Speaker 1: my name all over it? Like, no, never audition. If

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Speaker 1: someone's asking you to audition, go the other way. That's

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Speaker 1: not a thing. Um, So please send us your I

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Speaker 1: D and a couple of photos and we'll go from there.

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Speaker 1: I got approved and they flew me to Miami and

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Speaker 1: the rest of history. So okay, wait, so you go

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Speaker 1: to Miami and you're walking into this like mansion, so

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Speaker 1: how it then like that's I'm just like what so

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Speaker 1: like to lift the veil a little bit. It's not

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Speaker 1: as real as everyone hopes and things that it is.

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Speaker 1: So you first go to the studio and there's like

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Speaker 1: an hour worth of compliance and paperwork that you have

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Speaker 1: to do. You're tested beforehand for you know, a host

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Speaker 1: of STDs to make sure everyone safe then you go

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Speaker 1: to hair and makeup. In wardrobe, you meet whoever you're

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Speaker 1: working with that day, and then you go to location.

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Speaker 1: So there's different locations per shoot. Like this UM website

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Speaker 1: is called we Live Live Together, so they tend to

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Speaker 1: have like more set locations. But yeah, like gorgeous house

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Speaker 1: in in Miami. You go, you shoot, It's it's not real.

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Speaker 1: I hate to break that to everybody, but yeah, you

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Speaker 1: show up and there's very much like a quote script

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Speaker 1: for for how the scene is to go down. So

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Speaker 1: it happens every single day. Like every shoot, you're getting tested, know,

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Speaker 1: so you get tested once every two weeks. Okay, And

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Speaker 1: are you so like that was obviously one specific production company,

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Speaker 1: Like you signed up to go do this one shoot

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Speaker 1: with this company and then are you like in contract

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Speaker 1: with them or do you then like work with them

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Speaker 1: for two weeks? Like you said, like how does it go? So? Um,

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Speaker 1: my case was unique because I had never been in

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Speaker 1: the industry before, so they like to kind of take

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Speaker 1: advantage of that, Like if you're not kind of deluded

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Speaker 1: out there, they know that they can kind of capitalize

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Speaker 1: on it. So I shot a few scenes during that trip.

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Speaker 1: Those scenes ended up kind of like skyrocketing to like

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Speaker 1: the most popular ones on the website, so then they

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Speaker 1: brought me back and then it was kind of an

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Speaker 1: ongoing relationship from there. UM. I would say throughout my

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Speaker 1: time in the industry, which is about like five ish

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Speaker 1: years in the mainstream industry, UM, I had like three

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Speaker 1: three or four different contracts, which is kind of unheard

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Speaker 1: of because most contracts kind of went away and like

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Speaker 1: the early two thousands, UM. But for me, that was

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Speaker 1: always like a goal of mine. I liked the stability

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Speaker 1: that it provided. I liked the sense of control that

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Speaker 1: it provided, and like predictability, so that was kind of

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Speaker 1: important for me. But there was definitely there were moments

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Speaker 1: where I was freelancing, but from the majority of my

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Speaker 1: career I was under contract and and and those contracts

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Speaker 1: is it like you're it's already spelled out, like this

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Speaker 1: is how many scenes you're going to do in the

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Speaker 1: time frame of the contract, so you're not being overworked

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Speaker 1: just because you're signed. For sure, Yeah, there's a minimum

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Speaker 1: and then you can always add additional if you want,

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Speaker 1: but you have the right to say yes or no

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Speaker 1: to that, and then you list your boundaries like these

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Speaker 1: are the scenes I'm willing to shoot. These are the

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Speaker 1: ones I'm not. These are how I'm pricing them out.

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Speaker 1: That kind of thing. I love that. What do you

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Speaker 1: love about that? I mean, I just love how structured

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Speaker 1: it is because it's I mean, it's true, it's you know,

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Speaker 1: to me, the whole thing about adult entertainment is like

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Speaker 1: the people that are so judgmental of it are probably

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Speaker 1: the ones that are driving most of the revenue. You know.

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Speaker 1: It's like it is the oldest job of time, and

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Speaker 1: and um, you know, I think it's really beautiful that

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Speaker 1: people can can own their bodies and and do with

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Speaker 1: it what they want and if someone is willing to

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Speaker 1: pay for you, like you should be able to profit

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Speaker 1: off of it and not have to worry about judgment.

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Speaker 1: And you know, it's like it's very well known that

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Speaker 1: it drives the porn industry, drives technology advancement, like the VCRs,

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Speaker 1: DVD streaming, like all of it is because of the

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Speaker 1: demand for pornography. Um, and I look, I do think

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Speaker 1: there are people that get into trouble with it, and

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Speaker 1: you have to like mind your p's and ques and

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Speaker 1: and have a healthy relationship with it. But it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, anyone who looks down on someone that like

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Speaker 1: owns their body and and um and and is able

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Speaker 1: to profit healthfully from it. Like I have a problem

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Speaker 1: with that, you know. It's I love that you had

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Speaker 1: the courage to do that and the wherewithal to be

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Speaker 1: like this is this is what's exciting to me, and

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Speaker 1: I'm curious about it, And it's why is that any

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Speaker 1: different than dentistry? You know, like don't want to work

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Speaker 1: in someone's mouth? You know, that's a question to me. Well,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about that a little bit, because you mentioned

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Speaker 1: earlier like the panel at Anderson Vibe, you know, like

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Speaker 1: just how you looked at her and you thought she

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Speaker 1: is someone who is owning her sexuality and you saw

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Speaker 1: the power behind that. Did you feel that like when

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Speaker 1: you first started filming, were you feeling powerful or were

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Speaker 1: you feeling scared shitless? Scared shitless? Yeah, yeah, that's a

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Speaker 1: muscle that you have to work. And just because you're

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Speaker 1: having sex on camera does not mean that you all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden channeled your inner goddess and that you

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Speaker 1: are this sexy bombshell Like that is not the transition.

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Speaker 1: So it's more at least for me, um, like the

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Speaker 1: life cycle of that was because of I guess the

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Speaker 1: extreme exposure, like it was so unique, you know. I

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Speaker 1: mean you're kind of like literally getting thrown into the

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Speaker 1: deep end of sexual sexuality. It's like, okay, well I

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Speaker 1: can kind of learn what I like, what I don't like,

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Speaker 1: And because you're in the setting where you are expected

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Speaker 1: to perform, it's like, okay, I can. I'm not embarrassed

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Speaker 1: to tap into certain things like maybe you're nervous if

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Speaker 1: you're with a partner because am I moaning too loud?

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Speaker 1: Am I trying too hard? What is he going to

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Speaker 1: think about this outfit and how I'm moving whatever it is?

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Speaker 1: But you're like, no, that's literally my job, so I

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Speaker 1: can kind of experiment with how that makes me feel

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Speaker 1: and try to find like my authentic sexual expression that way.

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Speaker 1: So it's a ton of trial in their but I

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Speaker 1: think through like competence and repetition is when you get

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Speaker 1: that confidence. So it's like the more you do it,

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Speaker 1: the more aware of what you want because you feel

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Speaker 1: like it translated in your real life, like it made

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Speaker 1: your like your sex life outside of work, um, more

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Speaker 1: adventurous and better for sure. Yeah, and again it's you

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Speaker 1: weren't having that. You were dealing with all the like

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Speaker 1: the embarrassment and stress at work, and then you were

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Speaker 1: able to come home and like have this really healthy

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Speaker 1: outlook on what you actually really liked and enjoyed and

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Speaker 1: felt like you were good at. Exactly. Yeah, and again

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Speaker 1: it's like some things that like maybe andis was nervous

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Speaker 1: to do in bed. Then I was like I just

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Speaker 1: turned on Eva, and I was like, she's not she's excited.

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Speaker 1: It's like your flash of fears. Like well, So that

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Speaker 1: was a question for me though, because as a woman

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Speaker 1: like I just turned forty, I keep saying I'm holding

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Speaker 1: onto forty. I think I'm actually almost closer to forty one.

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Speaker 1: But um, when I turned forty, I think there's this

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Speaker 1: like moment in a woman's life where you're really starting

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Speaker 1: to kind of embrace your own sexuality and and lean

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Speaker 1: into receiving more and like what I like. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if that's true for every woman, but for me,

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Speaker 1: it took me a little bit longer to not be

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Speaker 1: so focused on my partner. But some of that is

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Speaker 1: because I think it's really hard to get out of

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Speaker 1: your head during sex, so I can't imagine doing it

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Speaker 1: in front of people, Like you just said you were

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Speaker 1: learning those things about yourself. Why old people are watching?

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Speaker 1: Like how many people are on set with you guys

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Speaker 1: when you're filming. I would say the smallest set I've

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Speaker 1: ever been on is probably three people, and that's when

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Speaker 1: of those kinds of gonzo handicap kind of things. And

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Speaker 1: then the biggest set was probably in like the fifties. Really,

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Speaker 1: so I've been on some really big sets, um like

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Speaker 1: tons of extras, tons of crews, stunt pete coordinators, all

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Speaker 1: sorts of things, um, but for me coord yea. So

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Speaker 1: we did um we did a Kill Bill parody and

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Speaker 1: I got to be Lucy Lou, which was my dream

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Speaker 1: because I adore her, and um, we had the original

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Speaker 1: stunt coordinators for Power Rangers on set with like the

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Speaker 1: full um wires and the crane and like you got

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Speaker 1: to go up in the air and do flips. It

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Speaker 1: was amazing. That was what um it was. It was

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Speaker 1: Killed Bill triple X. Okay, because I remember there. I

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Speaker 1: used to live in Los Angeles and there was a

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Speaker 1: gay porn theater. I don't know if it's still open,

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Speaker 1: and I remember they had a party called Drill Bill

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Speaker 1: and that I thought was really funny. I've maybe an

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Speaker 1: inappropriate question, but that's what I'm here for. Um, Like

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Speaker 1: are they doing like getting like granular and putting like

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Speaker 1: makeup on your vagina and stuff like I need a

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Speaker 1: touch up? Like only I did a Star Wars parody

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Speaker 1: and I was painted blue like one of those I

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Speaker 1: forget they're called um with like the weird horns in

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Speaker 1: the back. So that's I think that's the only time

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Speaker 1: a vagina has ever had makeup on it, so otherwise

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Speaker 1: it's just normal. Yeah, Well that kind of leads to

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Speaker 1: like what is the preparation? Like all of this is

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Speaker 1: so vulnerable to me, Like I just think of like

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Speaker 1: I was saying earlier, like you're as a woman, I

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Speaker 1: think when you're like or maybe this is men too,

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Speaker 1: but I think men are just a little more driven

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Speaker 1: by the physical. But we have to get out of

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Speaker 1: our heads. And I'm thinking about being in a bedroom

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Speaker 1: with one person, so like if fifty people are watching me,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, how do I just like drop down into

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Speaker 1: my body and enjoy the moment? Like what is that like?

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Speaker 1: And how are you preparing for that? So some people

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Speaker 1: and I'm definitely in that category like I am in

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Speaker 1: my zone. If I have an audience, I'm never more

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Speaker 1: turned on. Like I love that voyeuristic element, so that

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Speaker 1: is just what gets me going. I know for most

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Speaker 1: people it's quite the opposite, but for me, that's kind

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Speaker 1: of my thing. So that's never really bothered me as

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Speaker 1: far as like prep goes um, like psychological prep. I

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Speaker 1: think the hardest I've ever done is when I was

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Speaker 1: leaving the industry in like two thousand and sixteen. I

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Speaker 1: left with a pretty big showcase and I did like

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Speaker 1: my first ever DP scene and that was like the

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Speaker 1: most intense thing I've ever done. I've always been like

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Speaker 1: a very vanilla, just pretty performer, not really extreme when

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Speaker 1: into Kinks or anything like that. Um, but that was

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Speaker 1: something I wanted to try, and I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do this and then I'm going to go do

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Speaker 1: my own thing. So um that was terrifying because it's like,

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Speaker 1: how do you know I'm ever done that in my

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Speaker 1: personal life? Nor did I want to because the logistics

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Speaker 1: of it, like I don't want to get hurt. I don't.

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Speaker 1: It's just there's too much going on. So it's like,

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Speaker 1: if I'm going to do this, this is my opportunity,

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Speaker 1: so um yeah, I just kind of had to breathe

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Speaker 1: through it in the bathroom, like Okay, you've got this,

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Speaker 1: and if you need to stop, you can stop, and

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Speaker 1: just like knowing at the end of the day, I

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Speaker 1: was kind of in control of that and it was

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Speaker 1: it was awesome. I had a great time. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: wouldn't do it again in like my real life, like

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Speaker 1: that's off the table, but I'm glad that I did.

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Speaker 1: What if you had gotten into that situation and been like,

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Speaker 1: oh I hate this, Like is there a is there

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Speaker 1: a scenario where you say okay stop and the whole

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Speaker 1: production stops or do you have to follow through it

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Speaker 1: once you'll start? Oh? No, And then that's a huge misconception,

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Speaker 1: like at the end of the day, like it's your

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Speaker 1: body and it's something very vulnerable and it's yours. So

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Speaker 1: like whether or not there's a contract doesn't matter. No

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Speaker 1: law is going to ever hold that up. So if

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Speaker 1: anyone's listening, like you are not bound by anything, you

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Speaker 1: can always say no. Yeah. I would imagine there's power

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Speaker 1: in at like that's I'm seeing seeing like that being

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Speaker 1: maybe where the power starts to set in of like

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Speaker 1: this is my body. I'm in control of what I'm

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Speaker 1: doing and if you know that, But unfortunately, there's like

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Speaker 1: a lot of young women specifically that don't, and then

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Speaker 1: they do feel like, well, I said I would do this,

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Speaker 1: or maybe they want to take the scene a different way,

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Speaker 1: and if I don't, I'm going to disappoint people. Um

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Speaker 1: women tend to be a little bit more agreeable and

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Speaker 1: like not want that confrontation. So that's an unfortunate reality

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Speaker 1: within the industry. So, UM, I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: it comes down to temperament. So like, are you someone

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Speaker 1: who's comfortable saying no and really setting solid safe boundaries

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Speaker 1: for yourself or is that difficult because if you're entering

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Speaker 1: into an industry like that, where like ship happens in

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Speaker 1: every industry, right, people are vulnerable in every industry. I

333
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,360
Speaker 1: just think the people get so ruffled up about porn

334
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Speaker 1: is because the potential of it to go extremely wrong

335
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Speaker 1: is just more there than it is if you're working

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Speaker 1: as a waitress or a bartender. Um, So before you

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Speaker 1: get into something knowing that, I think it's really important

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Speaker 1: that you, like you practice safe, healthy boundaries and get

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Speaker 1: really really getting comfortable with that before you kind of

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Speaker 1: put yourself in a position where you can be more vulnerable.

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Speaker 1: I've a question, could you, um, sort of paint the

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Speaker 1: picture of what it like the industry looks like on

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Speaker 1: the inside and on a set, like, is it like,

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Speaker 1: is it all men are there are a lot of

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Speaker 1: women around, does it feel like a safe space? So

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Speaker 1: that is where I think the hang up is you

347
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Speaker 1: get a female makeup artist most of the time, Like

348
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Speaker 1: sometimes you'll get some guys, but most of the time

349
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Speaker 1: it's female. Um, you might have a female on set

350
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Speaker 1: if she's working with you, and there's maybe a handful

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Speaker 1: of female directors. Other than that, it is like male

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Speaker 1: male male, so usually you are significantly outnumbered. There's no

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Speaker 1: intimacy coach, which to me is crazy because I realized

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Speaker 1: that standard practice mainstream film is they'll have an intimacy

355
00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:05,440
Speaker 1: coach there to make sure, um, everyone is comfortable again,

356
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Speaker 1: boundaries safe, They run through everything to make sure everyone's

357
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Speaker 1: like consciously consenting to everything. Um, they're there. Something does happen,

358
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Speaker 1: but there's not one where you are literally actually having sex.

359
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Speaker 1: So why is that not a thing that makes no

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Speaker 1: sense to h Yeah, that's crazy. Sorry, I'm still thinking

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Speaker 1: about that. One. Um, So as far as like, like

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Speaker 1: are you attracted to your partners in these films? So

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Speaker 1: I think that my idea of attraction has evolved since

364
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,840
Speaker 1: I was in the industry. It used to be very superficial, right,

365
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Speaker 1: like I'm either attracted or I'm not. But when I

366
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Speaker 1: was working, I had a guess list of male performers

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Speaker 1: I would work with, and for me on that scene,

368
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Speaker 1: like the most important thing was that I felt safe

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Speaker 1: and that they were being respectful and professional, and um,

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Speaker 1: I could trust that they didn't go out clubbing that

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Speaker 1: night and maybe slept with someone on protected you know,

372
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Speaker 1: like these things really important to me. So I like

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Speaker 1: I found that I was attracted to like their character,

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Speaker 1: like how at least their character on set, like how

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Speaker 1: they showed up and kind of like their energy on

376
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Speaker 1: set and just appreciating that versus like, Oh, he's super

377
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Speaker 1: hot and I can't wait to do this scene. Right,

378
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Speaker 1: It's like, what would happen are like, are you picking

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Speaker 1: the partner or is that something that's like the production

380
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,520
Speaker 1: company picks and you agree to, Like what is that process?

381
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Speaker 1: Like most of the time, for most performers, they'll just

382
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Speaker 1: send you who you're working with. Sometimes the night before. Again,

383
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Speaker 1: you can always say no, but the problem is, um

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Speaker 1: people don't like hearing no, so sometimes you feel like

385
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Speaker 1: you can't really say it because you might be seen

386
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Speaker 1: as difficult or you might not get recast. So there

387
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,960
Speaker 1: definitely can be some trouble that happens because of that.

388
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,840
Speaker 1: But typically girls will have like a no list, So

389
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Speaker 1: so long as the person isn't on the no list,

390
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,560
Speaker 1: then kind of anything as seen as fair game. I

391
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,400
Speaker 1: had a yes list, so unless they were already pre

392
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,160
Speaker 1: screened and on that list, they couldn't be on there.

393
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 1: So then it kind of saved the hassle of like

394
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,119
Speaker 1: issue're going to approve him or not? Oh yeah, yeah,

395
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: and you said earlier it's like scripted. I was on

396
00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 1: a reality TV show, and so I'm always kind of

397
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 1: explaining to people because it's not like scripted where they

398
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,439
Speaker 1: hand you a script and say, Kelly say this, but

399
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, we need you to hit these beats,

400
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,879
Speaker 1: and this conversation is about that, like you need to

401
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,440
Speaker 1: go in there and you'll need to touch on this.

402
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 1: And so however we get there is kind of on

403
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,439
Speaker 1: our own, but we have to hit those beats, Like

404
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,920
Speaker 1: what does the script look like for a porn filming.

405
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 1: So for the big parodies, there's actually script, there's actually lines,

406
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 1: and they do like you kind of stick to them.

407
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,400
Speaker 1: For more of the reality or gonzo things, it's more

408
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,439
Speaker 1: of like you're going to be doing the dishes and

409
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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, like your neighbors gonna walk in

410
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,199
Speaker 1: and you know, and then it goes from there. And

411
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 1: then they'll usually kind of have um like a vision

412
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Speaker 1: board where you have like positions you have to hit,

413
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 1: like we want you to do this for three minutes,

414
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Speaker 1: and this for three minutes. And it's and a lot

415
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 1: more scripted than it used to be. Wait, how do

416
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: you know what you're doing for three minutes? Like is

417
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 1: there a clock somewhere that you're watching? It's usually the

418
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,640
Speaker 1: men that are in charge, thank god, and they are

419
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 1: true professionals, like they've got it down to a science.

420
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,879
Speaker 1: So I just have them like move me whenever it

421
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 1: was time for something else. Yeah, that sounds so stressful.

422
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:25,680
Speaker 1: Like do you actually enjoy the sex ever? Sometimes? Yeah? Yeah,

423
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:30,880
Speaker 1: for sure sometimes? And are people actually having orgasms ever? Yeah?

424
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 1: Sometimes for surely. Yeah. I mean it's definitely not It's

425
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: not anyone's priority, right, like no one gives a show,

426
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,919
Speaker 1: Like the guy behind the cameras like, we have we

427
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 1: have to be out of location by five pm, so

428
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 1: let's get this done. Bonus. It's a good bonus for sure.

429
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 1: When it does happen, that's like a good day at work.

430
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 1: Some positions, like let's be honest, like we've all seen

431
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,919
Speaker 1: porn in some positions, it is impossible, like maybe it

432
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 1: looks amazing for the viewer, but it's just not happening right. Well,

433
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,439
Speaker 1: I think that's like one of the biggest things I

434
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 1: always are, you know, in conversations with my girlfriends about porn.

435
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 1: It's like one of the biggest things. And I think

436
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,400
Speaker 1: are that women complain about about porn. And I'm sure

437
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 1: you've heard this a million times, but like it's definitely

438
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 1: feels more geared to like what a man would want,

439
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 1: because we're like, okay, who would I don't want to

440
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 1: get pounded. Like the sex is not really like geared

441
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 1: to maybe what would get a woman off all the time.

442
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 1: It's more like and then guys are watching that coming

443
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 1: home being like hey, babe, like let's go I want

444
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: to like you know whatever that would be called jack rabbit,

445
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 1: you and it's like that doesn't feel good to us,

446
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 1: So like what are you? What do you say about

447
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: all of that? As far as like maybe some of

448
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 1: the frustrations from people about porn in that capacity, I

449
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: totally understand the frustration. I think when it comes to porn,

450
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: it's important to remember that men are like they represent

451
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 1: over of the consumers, So of course it's going to

452
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,080
Speaker 1: be made for the male gays. If you if you

453
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 1: watch hetero porn or if you're watching gay porn, it's

454
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 1: shot almost identical like it's so it's not about misogyny

455
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:14,200
Speaker 1: or defiling the woman because it's shot just as um

456
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,920
Speaker 1: kind of invasive on on the gay end as well,

457
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 1: Like they're very similar shots, and that's just because of

458
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: what tends to turn on a typical male brain. So

459
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,359
Speaker 1: it's not there's nothing negative really happening, it's just what

460
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,199
Speaker 1: they realized what sells UM. As far as the actual

461
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 1: motions go, you have to think if you were having

462
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: sex how you typically would and this again goes like

463
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 1: straight or gay. You're not going to see as much

464
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: as you would need to see for the consumer to

465
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: understand what's really happening. It's going to look more like

466
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 1: a showtime film, and then again that's not going to

467
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:47,160
Speaker 1: really attract dollars or eyeballs, so it kind of has

468
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,080
Speaker 1: to be shot at those like Jack Rabbit really like

469
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 1: intense in and out, like thrusting things so that they

470
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 1: can see everything. Um, So it's not because it feels good.

471
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: I'm sure it doesn't even like feel great for the

472
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 1: male warmer, but it's just for visuals. So I think

473
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 1: it's important to remember it's entertainment and it's not an

474
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 1: instruction manual. But at the same time, if you see

475
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,439
Speaker 1: a position, you're like, that looks really fun. It's kind

476
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,080
Speaker 1: of like if you had a commissuture book and you

477
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,440
Speaker 1: wanted to try something. So I think you should always

478
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: be open to it and like remain curious and playful,

479
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 1: and if your partner brings something to you, like not

480
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 1: to discourage them or shame them or make them feel embarrassed,

481
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,640
Speaker 1: but like let them and the next time it's your turn,

482
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like kind of like that

483
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: back and forth. I love that though it's it's just entertainment,

484
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: it's not like a rule book or a guide book necessarily,

485
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: And so then you can look at some of the

486
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,960
Speaker 1: things and let's try that and see if it's fun,

487
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 1: but it's not necessarily like this is how you have sex,

488
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 1: and if you're not sex that way, then like what's

489
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 1: wrong with you? Or this is boring or something like that. Yeah.

490
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: I think it's like the fast and the furious is

491
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:53,959
Speaker 1: not how you should drive it either, exactly. But we

492
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 1: had proper drivers, said, and I think we haven't had

493
00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: proper sex. Said, So that's where the confusion happened. Yeah,

494
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 1: that's so true. Okay, Well, so there's so many stigmas

495
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 1: around porn in general, and I think the conversation is

496
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,640
Speaker 1: so divisive. It's like it's poor and bad for relationships.

497
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,160
Speaker 1: Is it good for relationships? Is it good for our brains?

498
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: Is it bad for our brains? Like, no one really

499
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,880
Speaker 1: seems to have a, you know, a definitive answer. Where

500
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: do you stand on all of that? I think it's

501
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,879
Speaker 1: that old adage that the difference between a toxic and

502
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,399
Speaker 1: a tonic is the dosage, And I think that that's

503
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: true for most things. Is food a problem for some people? Absolutely?

504
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: Is food a problem for most people? Know? Is pooring

505
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,879
Speaker 1: a problem for some people? Absolutely? Is poor and a

506
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: problem for most people. Know? So it depends on the

507
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 1: user and how you're using it and how much of

508
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: it you're using. So it's like anything else. I mean,

509
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 1: if you look at Instagram, I think it was last

510
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 1: year they released the files because they were trying to

511
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: create a sister platform for like teenagers for like thirteen

512
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: and under. Ended up getting disapproved because of the studies

513
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 1: that came out and we're showing the mental well being

514
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 1: of young girls and it was catastrophic as far as

515
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:12,640
Speaker 1: thoughts of depression, thoughts of suicide, eating disorders, confidence, um.

516
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: All of these things were tanking in young girls. So like, no,

517
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 1: we can't do this, But we don't see anyone getting

518
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: riled up or asking if Instagram is moral or not.

519
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: It's just we still have this shame that's residual around sexuality.

520
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 1: So that's why it just gets so easily inflamed when

521
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: you bring it up in a conversation. But to be fair,

522
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,119
Speaker 1: you would have to compare it to other modalities. So

523
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: again you'd have to compare it to social media compared

524
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: to alcohol, tobacco, um. At the end of the day,

525
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,239
Speaker 1: it's kind of the responsibility of the user to make

526
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 1: sure that they're consuming something within a healthy level, So

527
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 1: is it healthy for relationships? That absolutely can be. It

528
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,119
Speaker 1: can be the best way to spice things up, to

529
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 1: break you out of your routine, to provide you with

530
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 1: some new ways to connect with your partner. And it

531
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 1: doesn't involve bringing someone else into the bedroom, right Like,

532
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: it kind of can spark your creativity in that way. Now,

533
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 1: if you have someone that's over indulging in it and

534
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: they're taking care of all of their needs and they're

535
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: never connecting with you sexually, I can see how you

536
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 1: can see the porn is the problem. But the porn

537
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: is not the problem. That's kind of the the symptom

538
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: that's showing up. The problem is the connections. You have

539
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,159
Speaker 1: to ask why is my partner avoiding connection with me?

540
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 1: Have I done something to maybe the show that I'm

541
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 1: not interested? Is he not interested in me for some

542
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 1: other reason? Is he had? Right? Like, you have to

543
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,120
Speaker 1: sit down with them and see like what's really happening

544
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: at the bottom of everything, and not blame the symptom

545
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 1: for the issue. Otherwise something else is going to replace

546
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 1: the porn and you're not going to fix the problem.

547
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 1: That That makes so much sense to me because when

548
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 1: I look back at my relationships, like if porn has

549
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: ever been an issue or a case of an argument

550
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: for us, It wasn't the porn that bothered me. It

551
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: was the secrecy. So it was like actually a block

552
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 1: of intimacy that was happening versus like, oh, you want

553
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 1: to look at another woman naked, like, that's not that

554
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 1: wasn't the thing that was setting me off? Does that make?

555
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 1: And how? And then I would ask, and I would

556
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 1: ask a lot of listeners because I know I've fallen

557
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,640
Speaker 1: into this category. It's like, how many times have you

558
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 1: offered a safe space where they could trust you to

559
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,399
Speaker 1: come to you with that information? Because I know that

560
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,479
Speaker 1: there were times where my partner would come to me

561
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,199
Speaker 1: and there would he's like, I'm not going to do

562
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 1: it because I know how she's going to react. So

563
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 1: I also didn't give him like he didn't trust that

564
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 1: he could confide in me. So it could goes both ways.

565
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: So if you want that vulnerability and that honesty, you

566
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,680
Speaker 1: can't punish them when they do come to you with

567
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: with what's going on. Yeah, we had a dominatrix on

568
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 1: a couple of months ago, and she was talking about

569
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: that because some of her clients, I asked, like do

570
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 1: their partners at home know about you or not know

571
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,959
Speaker 1: about you? And with the ones who came to her

572
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: and they didn't know, it was because they didn't feel safe,

573
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: And I was saying, like that would be a really

574
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: like it's it's like the fear starts driving us all, like,

575
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: well what does it mean if you know? And I

576
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: think we can get in our own heads and like

577
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 1: either go to our own sense of self worth gets

578
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: challenged or whatever that is. So it is something that

579
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 1: like we have to really work through within ourselves and

580
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: with our partners. I don't know, it's really interesting. Well,

581
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 1: speaking of partners, you are married and you you guys

582
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:24,920
Speaker 1: were together throughout your your career in porn, and so

583
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: how did that work? Um? It was it was really

584
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 1: tough to navigate, and we didn't have anyone to ask.

585
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: We didn't never knew anyone that was in the industry

586
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: that was married or entering it um together. Like usually

587
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 1: people would meet on set and then that's how their

588
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 1: relationship would be established. So kind of entering that without

589
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 1: a clue was super difficult and it demanded a ton

590
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: of again trust on both ends to be able to

591
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:58,280
Speaker 1: have really difficult conversations, um allow him to express what

592
00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 1: he was going through, because honestly, he probably went through

593
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: more than I did. It's weird. I feel like our

594
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: society and our friends and just who we kind of

595
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,880
Speaker 1: like found ourselves surrounding ourselves with judged him more than

596
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,520
Speaker 1: they judged me. And the narrative was like, you let

597
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 1: her do this, and he's like, I didn't let her

598
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:22,360
Speaker 1: do anything, Like she is has full agency to make

599
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,840
Speaker 1: her own decisions. UM. So that concept always always gets

600
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,040
Speaker 1: me a little bit like flustered, because it's almost like

601
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 1: I'm not a full person with the capability of making

602
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 1: my own decisions. But um, it was a conversation for

603
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: over over two years before I actually did my first

604
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: boy girl scene, and like, what does this look like?

605
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 1: And he essentially got to the point where he was like,

606
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 1: I don't want to give you an ultimatum. I don't

607
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 1: want there to be resentment down the road. If this

608
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: is something you really feel like you need to go experience,

609
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 1: then go experience it. And I'm going to try to

610
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: be here for you. On the other side, I can't

611
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 1: promise you because I don't know how I'm going to

612
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,959
Speaker 1: respond to this, but I'm going to try, and for me,

613
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 1: I just kind of had this maybe the naive confidence

614
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: that we would figure it out. So I never really

615
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 1: felt like it was a real risk to the relationship

616
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 1: even though it was. It wasn't easy. Um, And thank

617
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 1: god I'm married to the man that I am, because

618
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 1: he's like the most zen and self aware person that

619
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: just really truly leads into discomfort on a level I've

620
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: never seen. So obviously we we made it. It worked out,

621
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: but it certainly isn't for the faint of heart, right.

622
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 1: And now you guys have two boys, and so I'm curious,

623
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 1: like I mean, specifically with young boys, like how are

624
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,000
Speaker 1: you going to have those conversations and like what do

625
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: you what do you feel like navigating that will look

626
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 1: like with them? So we have no clue how it's

627
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: going to happen. It's really important that we're the first

628
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 1: people to kind of introduce that idea to them, like

629
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 1: this is kind of mom's past. I don't want someone

630
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 1: to like just put an iPhone in his face and

631
00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: him be taken it back and have no clue because

632
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: that's not there to him or to them. Um. But

633
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: it's it's introducing our values and principles at age appropriate points.

634
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: So for example, my three year old, he's already super

635
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 1: curious about his body, so he's asking like what is this?

636
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 1: What is this? And we give him the accurate terms

637
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 1: or like this is your penis, these are your testicles,

638
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: and he's like, oh, what what do what do they do?

639
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: And we just answer like, there's no shame around your body.

640
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,720
Speaker 1: So that's like where we're introducing this foundation right now

641
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 1: at this age. It's like there's no shame. You're allowed

642
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 1: to ask questions, You're allowed to like explore, you know,

643
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 1: and be like what is what's the purpose of that? Um,

644
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: he like walks around the house naked half the time,

645
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 1: or like swims naked. There's no shame around the naked body. UM.

646
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: And obviously we give him like rules that you can't

647
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: go to target naked, but that's not okay, Like this

648
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: is your safe container and you can you can be

649
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: there be like that here. UM. As far as like

650
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: how do you treat people or do you treat people

651
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,719
Speaker 1: all like a bully? Are you unkind? Are you intentionally

652
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 1: trying to cause pain by showing someone something that you

653
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: know maybe they're not supposed to see? There is material

654
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 1: that are that is for adults only, that this falls

655
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 1: in that category. He shouldn't be showing you. He shouldn't

656
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 1: be watching it himself. Healthy boundaries. You're allowed to say, no,

657
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 1: I'm not going to look at your phone. That's not

658
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: for me. I was a whole person before I had children.

659
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: I was a sexual person before children. After children, I'm

660
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: still a sexual person, and that's my right to express

661
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: that how I want. Um, you know, it's a it's

662
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 1: a super complex thing. And think also it's super critical

663
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,880
Speaker 1: that he has that relationship with his father and then

664
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,200
Speaker 1: they have that you know, sacred masculine space where they're

665
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: allowed to talk about me to their dad, and it's

666
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,200
Speaker 1: truly express how they might not want me to hear

667
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 1: and see or whatever, and then then to kind of

668
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: have that between them and work it out there as well.

669
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: So it's we'll will tell you when it happens. I

670
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: have no idea. I just know I loved them to death,

671
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 1: and I hope that they don't feel shame around me

672
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 1: or their body or their own bodies, and that they

673
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: are able to kind of set their own healthy boundaries

674
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 1: when someone is acting out of line, do you ever,

675
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 1: I'm assuming are they in school yet? I guess you

676
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,480
Speaker 1: said he's three, right, he goes to like a pre

677
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 1: k Okay, So what like, what's your relationship with other moms?

678
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: Do they know this about you? When I find out?

679
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: Are they like? What like? Do like are you getting

680
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: judged all the time? So my close friends that have

681
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:39,440
Speaker 1: kids already knew, so we you know, we're friends before children.

682
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 1: But as far as the school moms, I don't think

683
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 1: anyone knows yet. I know it's a matter of time,

684
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:48,240
Speaker 1: and I have I have no idea that uncertainty really

685
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,319
Speaker 1: is something that I struggle with a lot because I'm

686
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: getting more involved with school and we have these chat

687
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 1: groups going on, and like when am I going to

688
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 1: get kicked out of the chat group? Like I'm just

689
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 1: where I go to text, So when they're like, you're

690
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:05,239
Speaker 1: blocked from this right in this group chat? Yeah. I

691
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 1: was just wondering if people like women specifically would feel

692
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: threatened around you, like if that would be heightened for you.

693
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,879
Speaker 1: I think probably unfortunately, And again you know it has

694
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 1: nothing to do with me, and that's easy to say,

695
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,879
Speaker 1: but it's still going to suck. Um. I guess where

696
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: I get more emotional and like hope that it doesn't

697
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 1: go a potential dark route is where they tell, you know,

698
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: their kids that they can't play with mine, right suck. Yeah, well,

699
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: I would imagine a lot of that would probably come

700
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 1: from their insecurities around their husband's being attracted to you are,

701
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, I mean, look, I'm I don't I

702
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:46,839
Speaker 1: don't know your your past, but like, you're obviously incredibly

703
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,919
Speaker 1: intelligent and well spoken, and I would hope that that

704
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: is what they receive and they can see past that,

705
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: because let's face it, there are people like on paper

706
00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 1: that you know, seem perfect because they their job are

707
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 1: they're supposed to do, but they're fucking terrible people and

708
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:06,399
Speaker 1: they stay in the chat group because you know, it's like,

709
00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:09,240
Speaker 1: you know, I just would have hope that the people

710
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 1: that you're around and that your friends are, that your

711
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 1: kids are friends with, like are just better people than that.

712
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:21,399
Speaker 1: You know, it's you're you. You are defying any sort

713
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 1: of stereotypes that I would have had um And you know,

714
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 1: I think that that's that's why it's important that we like,

715
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 1: I don't like to walk through life with judgment. I

716
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: do think that like society forces judgment on people, and

717
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,359
Speaker 1: we have to make choices to like what we want

718
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: to believe in, how we want to conduct ourselves as

719
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,400
Speaker 1: human beings. And it's important to have conversations with people

720
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: that are stepping outside of the comfort zone and doing

721
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 1: things that are making themselves curious and discovering what's going

722
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 1: to make you a whole person, because it makes it

723
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 1: really real and it you know, it's I don't know,

724
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 1: I'm just like I'm thrilled by this conversation because I

725
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 1: think that's like you break the mold, like and it's like,

726
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,440
Speaker 1: I love that you have a podcast and you're out

727
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 1: there like sharing your knowledge with the world, and um

728
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: so anybody who fuck anyone who kicks you out of

729
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 1: the well, I have a question kind of in line

730
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 1: with that, but maybe a little bit. It's just more

731
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 1: about the stigma. Like I think when people look at

732
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 1: people who do porn, they're like, what happened to them

733
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 1: as a child? Like, what is the do you hear

734
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: that a lot? Is that true? Is that true for

735
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,839
Speaker 1: part of your story? Like we don't know much about

736
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 1: your back story. But so to tie together, they've done

737
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 1: studies where they've kind of compared control groups and then

738
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,400
Speaker 1: people that were in some sort of sex work, and like,

739
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: there's essentially no difference. The only differences were that the

740
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,399
Speaker 1: people that were in some form of sex work had

741
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 1: more more sexual partners obviously, um, increased risk for STDs obviously,

742
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: and more self confidence. So again it goes through like

743
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 1: the moreks THO, sure you have, the more confidence you

744
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: can get you can gain in whatever you know trade

745
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: that you're in. But um, as far as did you

746
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 1: come from abuse or are you a drug user, are

747
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: you experiencing homelessness, whatever those things are, there's no difference

748
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 1: between the control group and the sex workers. UM. For me,

749
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 1: I did have an abusive household growing up. I didn't

750
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 1: have a dad for the majority of my childhood. So

751
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: people are like, ha ha ha of course, but you

752
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 1: know that's also fifty not the abuse part, but like

753
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 1: having no dad in the home. That's about fifty percent

754
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,799
Speaker 1: unfortunately of most people. UM, So it's not like fift

755
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: of people are in porn or intos work. Yeah. So

756
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 1: that's just how the chips kind of falled for me

757
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:48,799
Speaker 1: or fell for me. UM. I think also, I mean

758
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: that you can't deny that not having a dad would

759
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: kind of create some kind of subconscious message of trying

760
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: to get some kind of male validation or right. Yeah,

761
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 1: I don't deny that whatsoever, But I mean you could

762
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 1: look at anything are The reason that we are who

763
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: we are is a constellation of events. So to kind

764
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,840
Speaker 1: of pinpoint one thing doesn't really make sense. It's like

765
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 1: you're almost intentionally trying to connect dots to serve whatever

766
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,279
Speaker 1: narrative that you want. So I can't say indefinitely it

767
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: was because my dad left when I was little. No,

768
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: it's it's a host of things. And also I've really

769
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 1: like done a lot of thought exercises and I joked

770
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: with my husband, um, where there was this movie on Netflix?

771
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: It was, um, what was it? It was like the

772
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,480
Speaker 1: girl there's two version to life stories that she was

773
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 1: living out and it was essentially, no matter what, you

774
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,680
Speaker 1: end up where you're supposed to be and was it

775
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 1: everything everywhere all at once? No, it was wan. It

776
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: was this like little blonde girl and she was kind

777
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: of trying to become a cartoonista. But essentially the point

778
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: was like, no matter what, your life is going to

779
00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 1: kind of fall into place. And for me it was

780
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,520
Speaker 1: no matter what I was going to end up naked

781
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 1: on camera, like that was part of my journey. Yeah,

782
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: I just I just know that in my bones, the

783
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:11,800
Speaker 1: only things that would have changed are maybe like certain

784
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: structures of business deals or maybe like timings of certain things, um,

785
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:21,040
Speaker 1: not nothing like really consequential. Yeah. Well, I think that's

786
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 1: what's so interesting and that to me, that is what

787
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:27,240
Speaker 1: the word expansion really kind of invites people to question,

788
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 1: is like, like we all have these journeys and like

789
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 1: you said, it's mapped out, and it maybe like yours

790
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 1: looks like being naked on camera, Well, my might have

791
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 1: looked like something completely different, but it's a similar type

792
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: of like seeking or you know, chasing the things from

793
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 1: our childhood that we're trying to close out or whatever

794
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,320
Speaker 1: it is. But it's part of our journey. And I

795
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 1: think it's so interesting that we get so judgey of

796
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 1: other people's journeys to that, Like, as long as you're

797
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 1: to me looking at this like growth process of how

798
00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:00,719
Speaker 1: do I evolve? How do I get to my next thing? Um,

799
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 1: it's all really important and it's not my place to say, well, Candice,

800
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 1: you should not have done porn to get there, Like,

801
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 1: if that's what gets you to get closer to you, great,

802
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 1: you know, like it doesn't matter. Does that make sense? No,

803
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:16,560
Speaker 1: it totally doesn't. By looking at someone else's mess, you're

804
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,040
Speaker 1: not focusing on your own. So we must do that

805
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 1: as a distraction, right right. Um, well, let's talk a

806
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: little bit about your podcast. It's called Chatting with Candice.

807
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,879
Speaker 1: I love your description. I'm just gonna read it really fast.

808
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 1: It says, I believe that life is messy and that's okay,

809
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 1: that thinking for yourself is rare but necessary, and that

810
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:36,520
Speaker 1: we should always be expanding our curiosity. This podcast aims

811
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 1: to have conversations that are thought provoking and challenge you

812
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,839
Speaker 1: to become a critical thinker. To talk a little bit

813
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: about the podcast. What kind of guests can people look

814
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: to find on your podcast? I have everything from porn

815
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:55,400
Speaker 1: stars to neuroscientists to best selling authors, um, to mathematicians

816
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: to people that are in politics. I mean it goes everywhere.

817
00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: I recently had UM someone on and we did we

818
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,799
Speaker 1: talked about psychedelics. I would say a lot of the

819
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 1: upcoming guests are really getting into like the divine feminine

820
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: and kind of like sexual expression and um, like more

821
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 1: in in that female energy, find your goddess kind of category. UM,

822
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 1: I've had relationship experts on so it's really whatever. I'm

823
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 1: kind of like digging into it at that moment, like

824
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 1: whatever is like really sparking my curiosity, and I'll get

825
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of people and then switch topics or

826
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: maybe find someone new and then kind of, you know,

827
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,319
Speaker 1: go on the topic based off of an individual. So

828
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 1: it totally depends. Yeah, I was listening earlier. I cannot

829
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 1: remember the doctor's name, Laura sort of the p maybe,

830
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: but she was talking about different kind of sex research

831
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:49,239
Speaker 1: that's happening right now and it was fascinating and I

832
00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 1: can't remember her name, so it's not oh, um, Dr Prouse. Yes, yeah, Yeah,

833
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: that was a great episode. Um, it's pretty I feel

834
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: like it's pretty in line with a lot of the

835
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 1: stuff we talk about on here, and it's just the

836
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 1: same thing we're saying. It's just expanding people's minds and

837
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 1: staying curious in life and like what is life here

838
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: to show us? What are the lessons? So you guys

839
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: go check that out. It's called Chatting with Candice. I

840
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 1: will um put the description in this podcast. I want

841
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: to ask you one more question, what is a way

842
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: in your life right now? That you feel like you

843
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:28,760
Speaker 1: are expanding. So I'm heavily focusing on the podcast, and

844
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 1: that's kind of the evolution when I made the decision

845
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: to share like I'm Candice, I'm not Eva, you know,

846
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,960
Speaker 1: with my fans and with the public. That was a

847
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,399
Speaker 1: huge step for me and no one had really done

848
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: that before. UM, So I guess the purpose of that

849
00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: was to kind of like drive home Candice is the

850
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:50,759
Speaker 1: real person and Eva exists on set and I'm like

851
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 1: so much more than what you can google, and just

852
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 1: trying to kind of showcase that. UM, my husband and

853
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:01,879
Speaker 1: I focus every year on doing something new that kind

854
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:05,080
Speaker 1: of challenges us and brings us together a little bit

855
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 1: more in a new, unique way. So this year we're

856
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,879
Speaker 1: doing this thing called Fit for Service and it's with

857
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 1: Aubrey Marcus and um like his whole career. So we

858
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,280
Speaker 1: have like three summits this year and there's like weekly

859
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:21,439
Speaker 1: coaching calls and it's just really focusing on the relationship

860
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: and for us, UM, just like intimacy, Like how can

861
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 1: we get radical intimacy because obviously you're with someone for

862
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 1: over a decade, you think this is it. We have

863
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 1: reached this, you know, the top of the mountain and

864
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,839
Speaker 1: it's like, no, there's always deeper you can go into

865
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 1: relationship and there's always more intimacy to be found. It's like,

866
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 1: how can we do that? And especially after having, you know,

867
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 1: a second kid and that baby is still very young,

868
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,360
Speaker 1: re establishing that connection. So that's kind of the theme

869
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 1: of this year and expanding through that way my love.

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00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and being a mom too. I'm sure that

871
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:59,720
Speaker 1: adding the second child is always a journey of expansion. Yes, well, Canadas,

872
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: Thank so much for being here. I love talking to you.

873
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 1: This is fascinating to me. Um tell the listeners where

874
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,799
Speaker 1: else they can find you. Yeah, thank you for having me.

875
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,719
Speaker 1: This is amazing. I really appreciate it. Um. So you

876
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 1: can follow me on um any of my socials you

877
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,040
Speaker 1: go to Chatting with Candas dot Com has all of

878
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:18,520
Speaker 1: my Candice socials and the podcast, and then if you

879
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,719
Speaker 1: want to follow me on Twitter, you can find me

880
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 1: at fall in Louivia. You actually have to type it

881
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 1: in because I'm shadow band under the old regime and

882
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 1: no one will remove it. So yeah, you actually have

883
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 1: to type out the whole thing to find me there. Okay,

884
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 1: well we'll put all of that in the description of

885
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 1: the podcast. Like I said, and again, thank you so

886
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,600
Speaker 1: much for being here. Thank you