Speaker 1: Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, and a
Speaker 1: happy Saturday to you. We are back in the podcast
Speaker 1: do Joe in honor of Victor, break yet another edition
Speaker 1: of the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G.
Speaker 1: A full weekend of Danny G. And we have amazing
Speaker 1: tales the life of Mallard on the Saturday podcast. Now, well,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get it whether you want it ort and
Speaker 1: we're not gonna waste any time here. Danny. I thought
Speaker 1: we had a good conversation. I enjoyed going blow by
Speaker 1: blow on what happened in the Alamo and in Argentina
Speaker 1: Friday's podcast. That was that was fun. And we'll shut
Speaker 1: up on that, all right, said we'll shut up. And
Speaker 1: I heard you were going to start some more ship
Speaker 1: on this podcast. Yes, that is the plan. The plan
Speaker 1: is to assemble the mall or militia. And I'll ask
Speaker 1: your opinion on this, Danny, whether I am out of
Speaker 1: bounds or inbounds. And we'll actually start with that now
Speaker 1: on this Saturday edition in the fifth hour, we've got
Speaker 1: knocked on Heaven's door and they turned me away real
Speaker 1: life impersonating an iPad oozing Pastrami, paradise and backscratcher. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. There's a lot of content. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of meat. That is a lot of meat.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of content to provide on a weekend.
Speaker 1: What are we doing here? And alright, so for years
Speaker 1: on our overnight show, we have pretty much ignored the angels.
Speaker 1: Why would you talk about them? Why would you talk
Speaker 1: about the angels of the show. They've sucked and other
Speaker 1: than Mike Trout hitting home runs or lately show Heyotani,
Speaker 1: they've been irrelevant and they've been that way for a
Speaker 1: long time. And so Mike Trout, the biggest name in
Speaker 1: baseball is he's still the biggest name in baseball, but
Speaker 1: he plays an obscurity in Annah. Now, I have a
Speaker 1: history with the age. When I was a kid, I
Speaker 1: grew up in Orange County, not far from the Big A,
Speaker 1: and I spent a lot of time at Angel games.
Speaker 1: I spent more time when I was a kid at
Speaker 1: Angel games and Dodging games because it was geographically desirable
Speaker 1: where I grew up, and I would during the summer
Speaker 1: when I was out of school, I would hang out
Speaker 1: of the Big A all the time. And then when
Speaker 1: I got into radio, I was assigned to cover the
Speaker 1: Dodgers and the Angels. So I was back in the
Speaker 1: in the nineties up until about ten twelve years ago.
Speaker 1: Like I was out there, Danny, I was. I was
Speaker 1: hanging out at Anaheim Stadium, non style. That was my spot.
Speaker 1: Whose food was better Dodger Stadium. They had better food,
Speaker 1: but and they had a few things that were good
Speaker 1: n Anaheim that I liked. So let's spend a lot
Speaker 1: of time there. I did my part back in those days,
Speaker 1: and I talked about the Angels, and the Angels had
Speaker 1: some teams that were playoff teams in those years. They
Speaker 1: had Mike Sosha and they were in the playoffs and
Speaker 1: they won the World Series and O two all that.
Speaker 1: But around the time I stopped going to the games,
Speaker 1: there was a writer for the l A Times remember
Speaker 1: again named t J. Simer's columnists. Of course, yeah, t
Speaker 1: J was a hard oh and I was friends with
Speaker 1: t J. Interesting cat so t J. Simmer's he was
Speaker 1: a columnist for the l A. Times, and he got
Speaker 1: into a battle with Artie Marino, He's still Angels owner,
Speaker 1: and it got so ugly that the irrational Angels owner,
Speaker 1: the billionaire owner of the Angels, decided he was so
Speaker 1: upset with t J. Simers he was going to punish
Speaker 1: all of the media that covered the Angels, all of
Speaker 1: the media. Really smart moved there. So he moved the
Speaker 1: press box, which had been traditionally for a hundred and
Speaker 1: forty years of baseball behind home plate. He moved it
Speaker 1: down near the right field foul poll. Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: And he put a luxury box thing behind home plate.
Speaker 1: And that was his payback. That was his vengeance because
Speaker 1: t J said mean things about him and the Angels
Speaker 1: in the l A. Times, as I remember the story.
Speaker 1: So anyway, after this happened, Danny, I went to how
Speaker 1: many games do you think after that? I would say
Speaker 1: zero one. I went to one game after that, and
Speaker 1: I said, what are we doing here? I went I
Speaker 1: checked out the new setup was actually a Freeway series
Speaker 1: game Dodgers and Angels, and I said, this is a
Speaker 1: nothing burger. This is a waste of my time. I
Speaker 1: mean it was insane. I was not interested in covering
Speaker 1: an inanimate object that yellow foul poll out in right field,
Speaker 1: or giving traffic updates on the fifty seven Freeway which
Speaker 1: goes by the Big A, so I stopped going. Was
Speaker 1: close to the Pearly Gates. So anyway, the other day
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, maybe I should give
Speaker 1: them another chance. Maybe I should give them another chance.
Speaker 1: I said, it's been twelve years or something like that.
Speaker 1: You know, let's let bygones be bygones. Let's smoke the
Speaker 1: piece pipe. I would like to work with Seth Rogan.
Speaker 1: I think that would be really fun. Wonder why, And
Speaker 1: I'll give the Halos a shot. So I reached out
Speaker 1: and had the people at Fox Sports Ray Deo reach
Speaker 1: out for me to the Angels to get a press
Speaker 1: pass for the season. I know Joe Madden a little bit.
Speaker 1: I was around him a lot when he was a
Speaker 1: coach for the Angels, so I thought it'd be cool.
Speaker 1: Joe's a cool guy to chat with. He's a good
Speaker 1: bullshit artists. I thought it would be fun and what
Speaker 1: I would just get some stories for the show. I
Speaker 1: go these games, there's a lot of things that happened,
Speaker 1: and to be honest with that, I would just likely
Speaker 1: go for batting practice because that's where you get all
Speaker 1: the good stuff. And then when the game started, I'd
Speaker 1: probably take off watch it on TV because you can't
Speaker 1: see it from the press box, and so it's anyway,
Speaker 1: and that is the backdrop. The request was made and
Speaker 1: I I looked at my inbox earlier this week and
Speaker 1: I get get an email from the Angels, and sure enough,
Speaker 1: I had knocked on Heaven's door and they denied. They
Speaker 1: denied the request for for media credentials, which is fascinating
Speaker 1: me because the Angels have always my entire life complained
Speaker 1: that they're the junior varsity, that the l A media
Speaker 1: doesn't cover them, they get no national publicity. They've always
Speaker 1: been upset by this, at least seemingly upset. And so
Speaker 1: the Angels some pr hacks some woman I don't calm down.
Speaker 1: I guess I know you're uh, some woman named Grace Macnami.
Speaker 1: I don't know who that is. I've never heard of her.
Speaker 1: Everyone I knew that worked for the Angels either in
Speaker 1: jail like the guy that gave the drugs to the picture,
Speaker 1: or is out of baseball. So I don't know who
Speaker 1: this woman is. I have known, no idea. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: know her from the light post across the street. Sexist anyway,
Speaker 1: So she she her name was on the the letter
Speaker 1: and it said, uh, it said here, let's see here.
Speaker 1: We've received a tremendous amount of athletes for season credentials,
Speaker 1: and unfortunately we can credential a fraction of those that applied. Well,
Speaker 1: of course, my response would be, well, that's true because
Speaker 1: you've got rid of the press box twelve years ago
Speaker 1: because your owner is a lunatic. Uh. And then also
Speaker 1: the fact that you you've opened it up and you're
Speaker 1: getting a lot of attention with the Japanese media because
Speaker 1: of Otani. So there's that contingent. It just seems like
Speaker 1: a bit shortsighted. I'm biased, obviously, Danny on this, but
Speaker 1: not that I'm any good. But I have a pretty good,
Speaker 1: pretty good megaphone that I have access to, and that's
Speaker 1: a that's a megaphone that's on almost five hundred radio stations.
Speaker 1: Across the country with a lot of big time sports
Speaker 1: fans and major markets, some of the biggest sports stock
Speaker 1: radio stations in the country that that show gets carried
Speaker 1: on and more importantly for the Angels because they want
Speaker 1: to sell tickets and have people excited about their team. Uh,
Speaker 1: the show we do is you know, Danny on a
Speaker 1: M five sevent in the Los Angeles market, which is
Speaker 1: the number one sports station in l A and has
Speaker 1: the Dodgers. It's the it's the enemy team in the
Speaker 1: l A market, and our show comes on when the
Speaker 1: Dodgers are on the West Coast after Dodging talk. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if anything, I would see the name, I would know
Speaker 1: you're on a M five seventy every night if I
Speaker 1: was smart in their marketing department or their communications department.
Speaker 1: This is a great opportunity to have this guy talk
Speaker 1: about our team instead of the team that that station carries. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that station M five seventies owned by the Dodgers.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's partially owned by the Dodgers. So it
Speaker 1: shows you what a bunch of brownies the Angels have
Speaker 1: in their communications department. So it was a chance, you know,
Speaker 1: I would have I would have been out there. I
Speaker 1: would have been a good soldier. I would have gone
Speaker 1: out and experienced things and just going to the ballpark
Speaker 1: and talking to people with the Angels. I staw have
Speaker 1: friends that worked for the Angels, a few of them,
Speaker 1: not many. Our buddy Gooby still does the Angel games
Speaker 1: on TV. We've known Mark Ubaza for a long time,
Speaker 1: former Fox Sports Radio baseball insider guy many years ago.
Speaker 1: That was the deal. So the Angels denied my access
Speaker 1: and uh so we will Instead of me going out there,
Speaker 1: They'll let Joe blow from TikTok Or. I'm sure the
Speaker 1: media from Japan will do a fine job covering the
Speaker 1: Angels and that will help them get a lot of
Speaker 1: fans in l A. So I I would never be
Speaker 1: like me to put the whammy on the on the Halos.
Speaker 1: I'll leave it up to the Mallew militia how they
Speaker 1: want me to handle this. Would that be wrong if
Speaker 1: I put the whammy on the Halos or would I
Speaker 1: do that? No, this is why the Angels are the Angels. Yes,
Speaker 1: this is this is not good business, but that's the Angels.
Speaker 1: That's the operation they have there. And I believe if
Speaker 1: I if I made this a big deal and put
Speaker 1: the whammy on them. That would be publicity. In any
Speaker 1: publicity is good publicity. So it's more than likely, Danny
Speaker 1: that while I'll leave it up to the Mallew Militia,
Speaker 1: my my generals, my brigadier generals, and the Mallew Militia,
Speaker 1: ultimately it's more likely than not that I will just
Speaker 1: go back to what I've done for years and ignore
Speaker 1: the agents. So that's probably how that's gonna go. What's
Speaker 1: the lady's name again, the lady that send me an email,
Speaker 1: her Grace mcnamie. I have no idea who that woman is.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about her, but she's the one
Speaker 1: the Angels Baseball Communication department. Well, I would never point
Speaker 1: out her name or anything. How do you spell the
Speaker 1: last name? I believe it's mc capital and a M e.
Speaker 1: I believe it's I'm sure she's a lovely woman, a
Speaker 1: nice woman, and she means well, she's just bad at
Speaker 1: her job. That happens, you know, And maybe she's just
Speaker 1: a messenger. Maybe it's other people that are incompetent their
Speaker 1: job and not her. I don't know. I don't really
Speaker 1: know anybody over there anymore in the PR department so
Speaker 1: these are the questions that somebody might need to ask her.
Speaker 1: These are all legitimate questions. These are all the legitimate questions.
Speaker 1: So moving on, We've got real life impersonating an iPad,
Speaker 1: which is something that's right out of a horror move
Speaker 1: A little more calm than that, although although the scene
Speaker 1: when I walked outside it did kind of remind me
Speaker 1: of a horror movie. I don't know. I'm not obviously
Speaker 1: not the only one who does this, because I see
Speaker 1: these TV commercials all the time. I think lebron was
Speaker 1: even the face of this company that calm at Have
Speaker 1: you ever tried that? Oh? Is this the thing you're
Speaker 1: supposed to do before bed? Is that the or you
Speaker 1: can the free version of it on your iPad or
Speaker 1: your phone. I want to say, maybe like five different scenes,
Speaker 1: like a mountain spring, a lake, a nighttime scene, there's
Speaker 1: like a rain setting, and you just put this on
Speaker 1: and you know, keep it on for as long as
Speaker 1: you want to either sleep with it in the background
Speaker 1: or just help you fall asleep. So I use this
Speaker 1: from time to time because as you doesn't work for me?
Speaker 1: It does? Yeah, yeah, for me it does. I don't
Speaker 1: use it every night, but there's certain nights whereas you know,
Speaker 1: because of what we do for a living, we've battled
Speaker 1: insomnia from time to time. It happens all yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're doing weird hours. We're working a lot. So there's
Speaker 1: this one setting on there. There's like mountains in the background,
Speaker 1: there's a body of water. It's like what you would
Speaker 1: hear at night. You start to hear owls, and I
Speaker 1: kind of like that. I I wasn't sure what to
Speaker 1: think at first, because I would always use their slide
Speaker 1: that was the rain falling, and that got boring. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, I need a new one, so I switched
Speaker 1: to the one with the owls, you know. And at
Speaker 1: the time, I'm living in Burbank, which is a big
Speaker 1: city in southern California, right in the middle too, like downtown.
Speaker 1: So in the middle of an inner city. Normally I
Speaker 1: hear people arguing outside doors, slamming the neighbor on the
Speaker 1: other side of the fence, dancing to Arabic music, smoking
Speaker 1: their hookah at all hours of the day. Isn't that nice?
Speaker 1: It was awesome. Those were the soothing sounds I was
Speaker 1: used to. Now fast forward to right now, I am
Speaker 1: now living right on the outskirts of the San Fernando
Speaker 1: Valley as you start to enter Ventura County. This setting
Speaker 1: here Ben is more like yours that they're in the
Speaker 1: north Woods. There's mountains, there's lots of trees. It's foreign
Speaker 1: to me that there's no smog, the sky is clear.
Speaker 1: It is odd, right, I lived in in the city
Speaker 1: for twenty years. I lived in l A Hollywood probably
Speaker 1: longer than that. I can't believe it's been that long,
Speaker 1: dating myself. But it is weird to get back out
Speaker 1: and see like trees and stuff. It's odd, it is,
Speaker 1: and for me because there's always this haze that covers
Speaker 1: Burbank unless there's a really nice rain for a couple
Speaker 1: of days that cleans the sky, and then in Burbank
Speaker 1: we'd all be looking around like where are we? What
Speaker 1: is this? But it's like that every day here. So
Speaker 1: there's times where I'm just looking up at the blue
Speaker 1: sky and I'm like, this is freaking amazing. Um. So
Speaker 1: I have to get used to the new sights and sounds. Well,
Speaker 1: I didn't have my camm app on the other night,
Speaker 1: but I started hearing owls and it was two owls,
Speaker 1: very loud, like almost like they were on my patio. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't have my iPad open. I sometimes
Speaker 1: my girl will play that app from her phone. I
Speaker 1: look over her phone is not playing this. I'm so
Speaker 1: confused because I'm like, where is this coming from? So
Speaker 1: I go downstairs, I walk out to the parking area
Speaker 1: and Ben, these are the sounds of these owls. Was like,
Speaker 1: this huge owl was right above me. I've never heard
Speaker 1: an owl so out and so close to me. Now,
Speaker 1: I might just sound like a city slicker here, but
Speaker 1: it freaked me out. And then this owl's hooting. You know,
Speaker 1: I wish I could do an owl sound effect. Maybe
Speaker 1: I can find one. Can you do an owl? Who? Wrong?
Speaker 1: Like that? It might be the best part of this podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm really good at impersonations. Bag come on out there.
Speaker 1: And then just down the street a little bit, another
Speaker 1: owl at the neighbors is talking back to the owl
Speaker 1: that I now owned. So they're having so let me
Speaker 1: let me try again. Here's try here we go. Ready, ready, Yeah,
Speaker 1: how was that? You're cheating? You and your damn sound effects?
Speaker 1: I got my toy, I gotta I gotta play with it,
Speaker 1: but I was I mean you because of where you
Speaker 1: live and where you've lived in Orange County, you probably
Speaker 1: heard loud owls before, but I have not. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah for sure. And I noticed, like when I go
Speaker 1: to bed sometimes out in the north woods here there'll
Speaker 1: be birds, Like you can tell when the birds wake up,
Speaker 1: like it's it's out of a Disney movie, an old
Speaker 1: Disney movie where the birds are singing to each other
Speaker 1: in the morning. It's one of those birds going wold.
Speaker 1: And now these owls can be so loud. Their sound
Speaker 1: almost like reverberates to trip. Yeah. I mean I stood
Speaker 1: out there for a good ten minutes just listening to
Speaker 1: these owls, and then I walked back upstairs, laid back down,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to turn the volume down on my
Speaker 1: iPad because like, these fuckers are too loud. I love
Speaker 1: the sound on the com at, but I can adjust
Speaker 1: that volume. Yeah. Question from the class, did you consider
Speaker 1: going out and recording the owls and then just using
Speaker 1: that as you're in a loop, as you know, next
Speaker 1: time they show up here outside, I'm to do that.
Speaker 1: You should. You don't need the commap, you can do
Speaker 1: it yourself right there. Absolutely. Uh yeah, things I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to get used to man, what kind of owls
Speaker 1: were they? Did you see him like what they look like? No? No,
Speaker 1: it couldn't see them. But the one here in front
Speaker 1: of my place sounded like he was in the tree
Speaker 1: right outside. Don't owls like come down and kill rats
Speaker 1: and stuff? Isn't that what they eat? Am I right
Speaker 1: on that? Or no? Yeah, no, you're right. That's why
Speaker 1: my girl is scared to walk her little rat dog
Speaker 1: at night. Oh, I think the owl's gonna be like,
Speaker 1: I want to I want to snack and yeah, poor
Speaker 1: Daisy the dog dog looks it looks exciting. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go. All right. Uh So, since this is
Speaker 1: the Saturday part, it's all about the life of Mouth.
Speaker 1: Part of it isn't he and Danny Life of Malle
Speaker 1: Life of Danny? So last weekend, this is a little
Speaker 1: thing happening behind the scenes at the Mouth our mansion.
Speaker 1: So we were trying to get this backyard timer thing working.
Speaker 1: There was a timer on the backyard light back of
Speaker 1: the house, which seems like a rather simple thing for
Speaker 1: someone to do. It's not trigonometry, but this was advanced calculus.
Speaker 1: Because we didn't we didn't put that thing in and
Speaker 1: we didn't really know much about it. But you know something,
Speaker 1: since we hadn't installed it, we didn't know the instructions
Speaker 1: and all that, and after finagling with it, I just
Speaker 1: had no idea. So I was laying in bed, It's
Speaker 1: like two in the morning, and I'm contemplating how how
Speaker 1: terrible I am at adult stuff like this is something
Speaker 1: a grown up person should be able to do, like
Speaker 1: my dad would do it in two minutes being around. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh, this sucks. I can't figure it out. Wife,
Speaker 1: she couldn't figure it out, and so we're like, you know,
Speaker 1: some land in bed. I'm contemplating situation, and then I
Speaker 1: fell down a rabbit hole. I went on YouTube, like
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna go on YouTube and I
Speaker 1: searching timers for lights and eventually I'll find the right one.
Speaker 1: So I started looking. I'm watching dozens, I'm clicking through
Speaker 1: dozens of videos because I'm trying to find the one
Speaker 1: that looks just like the one on the wall from
Speaker 1: random timers and Whaila. After a long time searching, I
Speaker 1: found a video it's six years old from and it
Speaker 1: had the info that I needed. So I popped out
Speaker 1: of bed and media I was half asleep at the time,
Speaker 1: jumped out of bed and I start going down to
Speaker 1: where I need to go or I'm sprinting down the
Speaker 1: steps to go to the room where the wall timer is.
Speaker 1: And somehow, in my haste to get this thing programmed,
Speaker 1: I had I had kicked my big toe on my
Speaker 1: left foot against either a step or the wall. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure what it was dark, but I didn't think
Speaker 1: much of it, Dade, I think much of it at time.
Speaker 1: So I'm sitting on the sofa. I'm watching the YouTube
Speaker 1: video over and over again so I get the exact
Speaker 1: code to put in there. Yeah, so I'm saying, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm I'm sitting on the sofa. And after I got
Speaker 1: done with the thing of a jig, I noticed there's
Speaker 1: like some some like this wet stuff on the sofa
Speaker 1: right and I'm like, uh, you know, what did I
Speaker 1: did I have an accident? Am I getting that old
Speaker 1: where maybe something happened there in consonance or something? And no,
Speaker 1: So I looked down and I'm like, holy folk, it's
Speaker 1: like a crime scene, Danny. There's this big puddle of
Speaker 1: blood right in the middle of the sofa. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: sure enough. When I made my bull rush to get
Speaker 1: and fix the timer. I had kicked my left big toe,
Speaker 1: and then part is I didn't really notice the blood.
Speaker 1: It started using blood. I am the definition of a loser,
Speaker 1: and I was so focused on the task at hand
Speaker 1: that I didn't realize what was going on. So so
Speaker 1: then I had to do the embarrassing wake up call
Speaker 1: to the wife's as you sleeping, like, hey, I need
Speaker 1: a little help down here, and I was like, and
Speaker 1: it's not. I wasn't even concerned about the toe because
Speaker 1: I've cut my toe like that where it's bled a
Speaker 1: loot before in the past. But I was like, this
Speaker 1: sofa is gonna get ruined. I'm like, we gotta clean
Speaker 1: that thing up, like right now, right now, clean it up.
Speaker 1: It was it only on the sofa or did it
Speaker 1: get on the floor as well well? A little bit
Speaker 1: down on the floor. I wasn't worried about the floor
Speaker 1: because we have like the tile whatever, you can clean
Speaker 1: that up right away, but the the sofa, and once
Speaker 1: it soaks in, that's it over man. And so fortunately
Speaker 1: we got it just in time and my wife was
Speaker 1: able to clean end it up and I was hopping
Speaker 1: on my right foot the rest of the day there,
Speaker 1: and I'm now in the process. I've I've kicked my toe,
Speaker 1: my big feet. So if every once in a while
Speaker 1: this happens. So I'm at the point now where it's
Speaker 1: like a monster thing, you know. I'm waiting for the
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for the time. I know what that is.
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for the toe nail to fall off my
Speaker 1: big toe on my left foot. I currently have a
Speaker 1: bandage wrapping the big toe nail, but it's hanging on
Speaker 1: by a threat. Yeah, hanging on by a threat. So
Speaker 1: that was how I spent part of my Saturday. Uh
Speaker 1: and then also I had Pastrami Paradise saw over the weekend.
Speaker 1: My wife had to work an extra shift. She's a
Speaker 1: nine one one operation, so she had to go back
Speaker 1: to the police station. I looked around. I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to go to a game. There were no games.
Speaker 1: Baseball hadn't started yet and there the NBA teams were
Speaker 1: not playing. There was nothing. I ended up cruising around
Speaker 1: the Golden State. It was like an epid. So we're old,
Speaker 1: so we remember that guy Huell Houser that was on
Speaker 1: PBS years ago in California, gold in search of California's
Speaker 1: ago And it was funny because he'd go to the
Speaker 1: most boring places and he'd make he'd sound like this
Speaker 1: was the most exciting thing in the world. That was like,
Speaker 1: what are you doing? You're at it. You're at a
Speaker 1: building made out of tin cans. It's not here. Was
Speaker 1: this reservoir made? Yeah, the funniest. I still laugh about it.
Speaker 1: It's I think it's on YouTube. Huell Houser went to
Speaker 1: an animal retreat and there was injured animals and he
Speaker 1: went to a south bear. He said, look, it's Louis.
Speaker 1: Look it's a bear. It's a three legged bear. Or
Speaker 1: yeah he was missing yeah, yeah, I was missing one
Speaker 1: of the arms there. So it was it was hilarious. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I read it. I ended up in Apple Valley.
Speaker 1: That's aent of the way to Vegas. You go to
Speaker 1: the Roy Rogers Museum. I did not, but I I
Speaker 1: made an Errandre had drop drops some off there and
Speaker 1: and I have about it. So I did that and
Speaker 1: then drove out back here. I did stop at the
Speaker 1: Costco and Victorville to get gas, hoping it would be
Speaker 1: a lot cheaper, but it was not. No, the only
Speaker 1: thing cheaper. There is a meth. I didn't pick any
Speaker 1: of that up, unfortunately, but if Jed who fled, had
Speaker 1: been there, he would have bought plenty of it. And
Speaker 1: then I hopped back on the highway, traveled back down
Speaker 1: the hill into the the l A area and zoomed
Speaker 1: all the way past downtown Mission, Pastrami Paradise and no,
Speaker 1: no Langers. It was closed. Langers closes at four o'clock.
Speaker 1: This was at night. So I went to my backup
Speaker 1: option and I met somebody who was your mortal enemy.
Speaker 1: But I think you've made up. I haven't seen this
Speaker 1: guy in many years. The Prince of Darkness lead line,
Speaker 1: oh and uh and so the original Prince of Darkness
Speaker 1: and you know, had Lee on the podcast for a
Speaker 1: long time. We've been buddies, and I hadn't seen him
Speaker 1: because of COVID. He would not leave his house for
Speaker 1: multiple years, and so finally got him to leave his house.
Speaker 1: And he's been on the show and stuff, and so
Speaker 1: we spent many nights back in the day press boxes
Speaker 1: and he used to work at Calfi and some other
Speaker 1: big stations, and so we we shared old stories and hunkered,
Speaker 1: and he was hunkering down during COVID, and we went
Speaker 1: to this place, Johnny's Pastrami, which is right across the
Speaker 1: parking lot from Tito's Tacos and Culver City. And when
Speaker 1: we started going there, these sandwiches were like eight bucks,
Speaker 1: and we complained they were too expensive. Now they're like
Speaker 1: twenty bucks, so it's gone up. The tacos, which used
Speaker 1: to be two dollars, we complained there were two dollars
Speaker 1: at Tito's are now like five dollar tacos. So could
Speaker 1: leave throw any uh racist remarks in between his complaining
Speaker 1: about the prices. Uh no, no, he did annoy the waitress,
Speaker 1: though he did annoy the way he was. He was
Speaker 1: giving the waitress a hard time, So that was anyway.
Speaker 1: So uh that was that and the little pricey good
Speaker 1: meal and good chatting. We spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: in the parking lot just shooting the crap about random
Speaker 1: people and our good friends Norm, my guy Norm, who
Speaker 1: I knew him since I was nineteen. He moved to Florida.
Speaker 1: He left California too, He left the People's Republic A
Speaker 1: California go to Florida, and so we were catching up
Speaker 1: on him and what he's been up to. And things
Speaker 1: like that. All right, know, we have the backscratcher. The backscratcher. Now,
Speaker 1: this is the segment of the show where you scratch
Speaker 1: our back, We scratch your back. It is our weekly
Speaker 1: trip to the social media pages. These are actual reviews
Speaker 1: from actual listeners on the fifth hour Apple Podcast page.
Speaker 1: And I know it's a pain in the ass and
Speaker 1: it's something most people will never do. But if you
Speaker 1: have the time to do it, and it's something you're
Speaker 1: interested in, if you take the time out of your schedule,
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do over here, Danny G is we
Speaker 1: are going to take the time on our end. We're
Speaker 1: gonna read those things every week. I get questions, can
Speaker 1: I make an Apple podcast review on a different platform
Speaker 1: like Spotify? Well no, that's why it's called an Apple
Speaker 1: podcast exactly exactly. And fortunately you gotta sign in and
Speaker 1: you gotta do it through Apple. Yeah. Yeah, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of red tape to do it. That's why most
Speaker 1: people don't. Lazy people would call it red tape. It
Speaker 1: really takes three minutes. How dare you, Danny G? So,
Speaker 1: how many reviews do we get this week? How many? One?
Speaker 1: We only got one? Danny better than that is. That's true.
Speaker 1: And the good thing about being the only one is
Speaker 1: we have plenty of time to slowly go through what
Speaker 1: was saying, word by word, very slowly, and do a deep,
Speaker 1: deep dive. Right apps, So yes, all right, this came
Speaker 1: from the Big Panda, Danny, the Big Panda. What a
Speaker 1: big panda headline? The greatest thing I never knew I needed.
Speaker 1: Now that's a solid headline. Nice, it's a solid headline.
Speaker 1: Big Panda rights, And he says, I's been listening to
Speaker 1: the Ben Mallory Show for about a year before I
Speaker 1: found the podcast. And there is only one word to
Speaker 1: describe it. Gold. It's right, gold or gold go hopefully
Speaker 1: not fool's gold. Right, it's not fool's gold. Gold. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not like you said. Gold. Podcast gold. Every time
Speaker 1: Ben Maller and Danny g get together to make sweet,
Speaker 1: passionate love to the micro phones and even this love
Speaker 1: child of greatness, the microphone Throttler. If you like Big
Speaker 1: Ben in the overnight, then double your pleasure on the weekends.
Speaker 1: Don't deprive yourself of the guilty pleasure we both know
Speaker 1: you pine for. And that creepster Deshaun Watson is a
Speaker 1: menace turning the NFC South into his own personal tug
Speaker 1: job shop just to choose the Cleveland Steamer. How dare him?
Speaker 1: That is signed the big and uh, thank you big Panda.
Speaker 1: You were the only one this week to answer the call.
Speaker 1: And if you want us to read what you write, good,
Speaker 1: bad or no? We like the five stars two five
Speaker 1: two stars. You need to be like that famous magician,
Speaker 1: was it magician? I think a magician who deny yes,
Speaker 1: be a magician and make five star appear. Otherwise we'll
Speaker 1: think that you believe the show is all right, and
Speaker 1: we don't want that. We do not want that at all.
Speaker 1: So turn on your computer. Then you can turn it off.
Speaker 1: You know that whatever it takes there, but find the
Speaker 1: Apple podcast page. I love how our boy Panda calls
Speaker 1: Watson a creeper, but he basically said, you and I
Speaker 1: hump microphones. Well, we make passionate, sweet passionate love to
Speaker 1: the microphones. He really give me that good stuff. Have
Speaker 1: you ever heard of microphone? File a lawsuit against the
Speaker 1: person that makes sweet passionate love to it? So if
Speaker 1: Watson had been more passionate, maybe if he just lit
Speaker 1: a candle, yeah, well you gotta he was doing the
Speaker 1: traditional thing, Like the traditional thing is like what Robert
Speaker 1: Kraft did, where you just go to the place that's
Speaker 1: known for that. He wanted the one on one attention
Speaker 1: of the instant, the random women on Instagram like that
Speaker 1: was his his deal. Do you think the I G
Speaker 1: Girl would have been less offended if there was like
Speaker 1: Luther Vandros playing in the background and a candle was lit,
Speaker 1: y would have helped, would have would have likely helped there.
Speaker 1: It's more of a numbers game for for him. Anyway,
Speaker 1: we gotta get out of here. We got the mail bag,
Speaker 1: the mail bag on Sunday, Sunday Sunday. Cannot wait for that.
Speaker 1: And by the way, thank you Big Panda for that
Speaker 1: nice review. And please go subscribe to this podcast, like
Speaker 1: it and put your own reviews so we have more
Speaker 1: than one next week. Let's go for two, Ben, Let's
Speaker 1: go tw reviews. Double your pleasure, double your fun. And also,
Speaker 1: we cannot stress enough. From time to time the company
Speaker 1: messes around a finagle with the podcast. And so if
Speaker 1: you subscribe a lot of people listen to this podcast
Speaker 1: and they hear it on the Ben Mallor show fee
Speaker 1: because us through the Ben mallor show feet. But every
Speaker 1: once in a while something happens, there's a solar storm
Speaker 1: or something like that, and it gets all quiet quiet
Speaker 1: over on the on the feet. Yeah, if you subscribe
Speaker 1: to this fifth hour feed, you will never miss a
Speaker 1: minute of this nonsense. Yeah, we cannot guarantee that if
Speaker 1: you're listening to the terrestrial radio podcast feed you'll get
Speaker 1: content like this. Pig pig does whatever spider pig does.
Speaker 1: Can you thing from a web? We can't. He's a pig, look, pig.
Speaker 1: You can't get that anywhere else? Can you? Your impersonation
Speaker 1: of an owl earlier was much better than that. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking about any anything that's a drop,
Speaker 1: that's not a d any to promote anything at all,
Speaker 1: to promote the Yeah, So today I'll be on with
Speaker 1: Hartman and Schwartz Saturday afternoon on fs R and George
Speaker 1: Yes and then the Arf Arf Earth and then the
Speaker 1: late afternoon evening show is Brian No and e from
Speaker 1: Salam the No Show weekend edition to The No Show.
Speaker 1: So I'll see you on the radio. Alright, have a
Speaker 1: wonderful rest of your Saturday. Enjoy the baseball and we
Speaker 1: will have a mail bag, a big burly mail bag
Speaker 1: on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. We'll catch you then. Asta pasta
Speaker 1: boflation