Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: Here I am. It's Nicky Glazer. It's Nicki Glazer podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you all for being so patient over these last
Speaker 1: couple of weeks when I have been recovering from vocal
Speaker 1: chord surgery, which I just learned was spelled C O
Speaker 1: R D and not c h o r D. I
Speaker 1: was thinking it was all musical. I've been embarrassed in
Speaker 1: many text messages thus far. Um, yeah, you just think
Speaker 1: vocal cord, you see H and it's not gonna auto
Speaker 1: correct you. So I've been looking like a real dumb
Speaker 1: dumb Um, but so I am Um. This is maybe
Speaker 1: the third week, or second or third week that I've
Speaker 1: been Um, not doing the daily podcast. So I appreciate
Speaker 1: all y'all, all y'all's patients, in not having a daily podcast.
Speaker 1: You know I miss it so much. You know that.
Speaker 1: You know this is before this is pre op, as
Speaker 1: we've covered last week. Um, so I don't know what
Speaker 1: my mental state is going to be as I talk
Speaker 1: right now, but I'm guessing that I've already started finding
Speaker 1: some way to communicate and put out content on my
Speaker 1: instagram or on our Social Uh to get, you know,
Speaker 1: because I'm probably going crazy in my own head, or
Speaker 1: I've probably completely jeopardized the healing process and started doing
Speaker 1: daily podcast. That my money is on. You'll be talking
Speaker 1: by Friday. Andrew Colin is in St Louis. I'm in
Speaker 1: Boston awaiting surgery. That will be happening tomorrow. Um, Noah
Speaker 1: is in New York still, and we have any who
Speaker 1: is on your marina, who did our theme song and
Speaker 1: you've heard on the show many times before. My best friend, Singer,
Speaker 1: songwriter on your marina is visiting us from New York.
Speaker 1: How is it going? Everyone so good. I can't believe
Speaker 1: it's the last time we're gonna hear that sweet, sweet
Speaker 1: voice for a while. This a little correctly crumble voice. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know what I want to do today with it.
Speaker 1: I can see why you spell chords with an H,
Speaker 1: because it it looks and feels like a little raspy,
Speaker 1: like the age is like card. Yeah, my chords are
Speaker 1: going to not have an age afterwards. Yeah, I wonder
Speaker 1: if it will sound like the like. Even no one
Speaker 1: noticed that in my earlier stand up. My voice does
Speaker 1: sound a lot different. I will say that there was
Speaker 1: a there's a lot of clips that are being posted
Speaker 1: from different like meme accounts and stand up clip accounts
Speaker 1: of my past stand up. Thank you for putting those
Speaker 1: out there. All those people that are doing that without
Speaker 1: my permission, please keep doing it, because I don't do it. Um,
Speaker 1: and I really sound like this, like it'll sound like this,
Speaker 1: but it's also because it's going very fast and they
Speaker 1: change the frequency of it and they speed it up
Speaker 1: so that they don't get corporate copyrighted because Um, so
Speaker 1: that's what's happening there. So that's why I said, like
Speaker 1: Monica on season five of friends, where she talked like
Speaker 1: this and she was always just like Chandler, come on,
Speaker 1: we need to go here. Like all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: season five of friends, Chandler's would change and Monica's changed
Speaker 1: and is really anning. And if you listen back on
Speaker 1: repeat episodes, you will find that on TBS TV land,
Speaker 1: I don't even think that's a network anymore. They really
Speaker 1: speed it up so that they can fit in one
Speaker 1: more commercial. So they speed it up slightly and that's
Speaker 1: why everyone talks a little bit faster. When you hear
Speaker 1: all of the different reruns of these shows because they
Speaker 1: speed it up a fraction and in that time they
Speaker 1: save thirty seconds and they make, you know, half a
Speaker 1: million dollars or whatever the hell it is in AD sales.
Speaker 1: So if you're wondering why shows like Big Bang theory
Speaker 1: or two and a half men sound really fast, they're
Speaker 1: fitting in more ads and every like comment is like,
Speaker 1: you know, I love the material with this bitch's voice
Speaker 1: sounds like a rat dying, like yeah, it sounds like this.
Speaker 1: It sounds like I'm waking from crystal season of the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: which is one of the best impressions I could ever do.
Speaker 1: But it didn't really work out because I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: a mom and like n't bad. Jokes aren't bad. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're not. Yeah, it's just like, Um, you know, my
Speaker 1: mom's alcoholic. I don't like to say she's alcoholic, but
Speaker 1: it was like she's just a shop about, like sick
Speaker 1: to buying alcohol. Next joke. Good writing. That's good writing. Um, honestly, yeah, Um,
Speaker 1: but I was listening to your bit. I was listening
Speaker 1: to a show from I think eighteen, and I was
Speaker 1: struck by how different you sound even then. It was
Speaker 1: the Luigi joke about Luigi going down on you and
Speaker 1: you being like he wants it, come on, it's told
Speaker 1: that joke. So my voice changes when I get turned
Speaker 1: on and I'm talking about jokes. Say That, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a dog, but down on me. That joke was
Speaker 1: even I go back and go what's going on there?
Speaker 1: That solid minutes to Matt was dying. He's like this
Speaker 1: isn't people just can't believe I started banging my special
Speaker 1: with twenty minutes of a blowjob joke and then I
Speaker 1: started this last special with, Um, me going down on
Speaker 1: my parents. Like it's really weird that my favorite things
Speaker 1: to talk about are things that I truly have never
Speaker 1: like you would suspe back to that. I would be
Speaker 1: someone that was like it was there all along. She
Speaker 1: was telling us the whole time, kind of thing. Yeah, like,
Speaker 1: if you look, we were. Chris and I were just
Speaker 1: talking about someone who, if you go through their history
Speaker 1: of Army Hammer. Have you guys seen the new Um
Speaker 1: House of Hammer Document? Yes, I want so, in the
Speaker 1: first episode. It's really good. It's really Oh God, listen,
Speaker 1: that is not no, you didn't watch it yet. On you,
Speaker 1: you were the one texting me about it. I just
Speaker 1: saw the trailer I sent you. Oh this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: I'm having Julie taken out tomorrow. God damnit. Watched that
Speaker 1: freaking documentary because I thought you'd seen it. You're texting me.
Speaker 1: Go on, listen, I saw that because on your text
Speaker 1: me and she goes, I guess you said I'm watching
Speaker 1: the trailer. I've missed that part, but she says I'm
Speaker 1: watching the House of Hammer thing and these text messages
Speaker 1: that he sends these girls. I'm thinking Nikki would be
Speaker 1: so turned on by them because, honestly, you guys, I
Speaker 1: put on the documentary and I was I had to
Speaker 1: put down crash bag to sit on because the cat
Speaker 1: was going to get ruined. I was like, I want
Speaker 1: you to be holes, I just want you to tie
Speaker 1: you up, sit there. I'm just going to be tied
Speaker 1: up in public and have everyone use you and you
Speaker 1: have no say in it. Like it was about like
Speaker 1: just like having our love language. I'm not joking you.
Speaker 1: I was so turned on. And then it gets to
Speaker 1: be like I'm Cannibal, I want to cook you, I
Speaker 1: want to rape you, like it gets progressive very quickly,
Speaker 1: very um inappropriate, and I mean this guy is an
Speaker 1: alleged rapist. I mean you the way he you learned
Speaker 1: about love bombing, you learn about just lying the way he's.
Speaker 1: It's fascinating because I think it just gives girls and
Speaker 1: guys a good perspective on how this happens. How girls
Speaker 1: kind of see a guy that hits on them in
Speaker 1: their D M S. he's a family man. He they
Speaker 1: google him. He has a family and kids. And then
Speaker 1: how they go kind of like no, well, this, this
Speaker 1: is weird. He's kind of like hitting on me, but
Speaker 1: it's not that clear. And then how he then lies
Speaker 1: and says we've been separated. You know, like how the
Speaker 1: whole thing works, because I think a lot of times guys,
Speaker 1: I've heard, and girls who cannot relate to falling for
Speaker 1: a man who is married. Who Falling for a man
Speaker 1: who says I want to bite, I want to bite you,
Speaker 1: I want to uh. He left some girl a note
Speaker 1: that she was already in love with him. They had
Speaker 1: spent hours on the phone together and he leaves. He
Speaker 1: goes to her apartment creepily when she's not in town
Speaker 1: and leaves her note that says I'm going to something
Speaker 1: with I want to bite you in half. Or something
Speaker 1: like that, and when, in the context of all of this,
Speaker 1: this is the first time he's shown that kind of side,
Speaker 1: she's just like, oh, he wants to devour me, he
Speaker 1: wants you know, US watching are like, what the funk?
Speaker 1: These girls are so fucked up. Please, when you watch this,
Speaker 1: be with an open mind of like you don't know
Speaker 1: what it's like, you don't know these girls experience coming
Speaker 1: into these relationships. This like kind of judgment I think
Speaker 1: that they get from a going for a guy who
Speaker 1: clearly is married and might be lying about that, but
Speaker 1: even so they like leave your judgment at home and really, Um,
Speaker 1: I was Um. I got a d m once from
Speaker 1: from someone who, uh, mentioned rope bondage and who was
Speaker 1: a famous person that I was like, Oh my God,
Speaker 1: is this person? Like I saw a blue check mark.
Speaker 1: I'm like, is this one of those fake blue check
Speaker 1: marks where they like do an Emoji in their name,
Speaker 1: you know, like there's that Emoji that looks blue and
Speaker 1: can kind of trick yes, yes, you were using it
Speaker 1: for years and so you gotta. BRENNA is blind. Just
Speaker 1: turned up phone in, but I remember getting a d
Speaker 1: m from someone very famous and going, Oh my God, like,
Speaker 1: I know who this is. This can't be the real person.
Speaker 1: It is probably just the fake name and a fake emoji.
Speaker 1: And then I looked into it has millions of followers
Speaker 1: and then I was like, Oh my God, this is
Speaker 1: the person. And they were talking suggestively about, Um, sexual stuff,
Speaker 1: but not not saying they want to do anything with me, Um,
Speaker 1: but just putting it out there. And I knew that
Speaker 1: I could pick up that rope and have them tie
Speaker 1: me up with it if I wanted to. But, Um,
Speaker 1: I did it because a little bit older and knew
Speaker 1: that I don't want to get involved with a person
Speaker 1: with but you hate home depot. Well, he brings these
Speaker 1: girls to hardware stores. Yes, it's so. He was talking
Speaker 1: to this one girl for a while and she is,
Speaker 1: you know, he just met her at a bar in Dallas,
Speaker 1: I think he was visiting, and she's just a business
Speaker 1: owner in Dallas, sweet girl, and she meets some of
Speaker 1: this bar they hit it off. They start talking on
Speaker 1: the phone for hours and hours. Finally, you know, he
Speaker 1: separated from his wife. It's like announced in the papers
Speaker 1: and everything, and then she goes to l a to
Speaker 1: visit and he convinced. It convinces her to go to
Speaker 1: palm springs with him and they go up there and
Speaker 1: they go, you know, after a couple of nights it's
Speaker 1: just it's heaven. She's like he's all over me, he's
Speaker 1: so attentive, he's so loving, he's so like Lovey Dovey,
Speaker 1: like hand on my lap, like leg constantly, like holding
Speaker 1: my hand, like all these things. When you're a woman
Speaker 1: watching this, going like yeah, I would be I would
Speaker 1: do anything. This famous hot guy is showing me all
Speaker 1: this attention. I'm just a business owner from Dallas. I'm like,
Speaker 1: how is this celebrity scooping me up out of nowhere,
Speaker 1: this guy that has Oscar buzz from call me by
Speaker 1: your name, like he's successful, he's handsome, he's rich, he's
Speaker 1: all these things. He's a good father, seemingly Um. And
Speaker 1: then they go to the hardware store and like the
Speaker 1: third day and she's like he's talked about rope bondage
Speaker 1: and she's just like not into it, but he she
Speaker 1: knows it's like something key's really into. And you know,
Speaker 1: we all kind of make you know, uh, what's Open
Speaker 1: minded and game? Yeah, Gi uh, what is it? U Game? Uh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's his name? Dan? Savage. Dan Savage coined it. It's
Speaker 1: G G G U giving. I forget it. You know. Well,
Speaker 1: you do Google Gigi against Dan savage, because it is
Speaker 1: a good little acronym that Anya and I are both
Speaker 1: really strange. Giving game and it's probably gastro intestinal are
Speaker 1: not working that day when I come. It's good giving. Wait,
Speaker 1: what is it? Good giving and game, good giving and game. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like they you just want to be Gig and so
Speaker 1: or Gidd you would. It looks like her, because she
Speaker 1: just looks like she's good giving and game and Um
Speaker 1: and having g forces applied to her face in the
Speaker 1: opposite direction. So they go to the hardware store and
Speaker 1: she's kind of just like God, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do this, but I'll do it, you know, and they're
Speaker 1: out of rope and she's like yeah, like she's slad.
Speaker 1: So he's been there before. Again, army, but like you
Speaker 1: only have so much rope, like a spring. What are
Speaker 1: you making out? Oh my God, put in the deck.
Speaker 1: You know, the deck is almost ready. Yeah, they're like
Speaker 1: rope for the deck. Really do you? He's like, Oh,
Speaker 1: just the pulleys and the levers. You know, there's lots
Speaker 1: of that I'm doing an ancient style, a lot of
Speaker 1: pulleys and Um, do you know how that? You know
Speaker 1: that the Egyptians to the Pyramids and they're like no,
Speaker 1: we don't. That's still a mystery. He's like, well, we're
Speaker 1: doing well. So is this? Ninety women and then you
Speaker 1: and use them as weight to pull up a rock
Speaker 1: to make my new house. I am not wanting to
Speaker 1: make jokes about the documentary because it is grizzly. And
Speaker 1: then the second episode gets into it's episodic yeah, three,
Speaker 1: I believe, and Jen, my assistant, has watched, Um, the
Speaker 1: last two. I watched one and two, Um, and it
Speaker 1: just gets into his family and how this kind of
Speaker 1: you know, abuse of women and uh, like it's it's
Speaker 1: generational and it's passed down and it's like they kind
Speaker 1: of showed how to treat women and Um. But he
Speaker 1: is a monster and I just want everyone listening. If
Speaker 1: you aren't gonna Watch the documentary, please do not partake
Speaker 1: in army hammer jokes about him being a cannibal and how,
Speaker 1: ha ha, he's gonna eat you. This is so far
Speaker 1: beyond that and people need to know that this man
Speaker 1: allegedly raped his ex girlfriend Um tied her up. Uh,
Speaker 1: this woman he was seeing for a while tied her
Speaker 1: up one night. She didn't want to do it, but
Speaker 1: she was kind of like, okay, he pretty much what
Speaker 1: they discover is that he, he, uh, dates these women
Speaker 1: who don't really understand B D S M culture, and
Speaker 1: neither does he, because he uses B D s m
Speaker 1: as an excuse to get away with really abusing these
Speaker 1: women and having it be like well, that's what it is.
Speaker 1: Is Like I get off on you crying and telling
Speaker 1: me to stop, and then I essentially keep going, and
Speaker 1: that's that's my kink, that's my thing and that's B
Speaker 1: D s m. Last night was so amazing and she
Speaker 1: goes it wasn't. I was crying and I did not
Speaker 1: like a nyames like you crawling away from me, crying
Speaker 1: on the ground made me feel so powerful. You saying no,
Speaker 1: I want to like and so so about rape. It's
Speaker 1: not about cannibalism. That is just that is so what
Speaker 1: he would want this narrative to beasts because he has
Speaker 1: an excuse of like I was just saying fantasy things,
Speaker 1: as we're just text. This is about rape and if
Speaker 1: you look into it, it is. Don't just please don't,
Speaker 1: if people are making Army Hammer Cannibal jokes, ruin the
Speaker 1: mood of the dinner that you're at by saying, do
Speaker 1: you know he actually raped his girlfriends? And because that's
Speaker 1: what I've been doing for years now, Um, because it's
Speaker 1: just such a joke, I think that sometimes these things
Speaker 1: can turn into joke. It doesn't hit people. Yea, even
Speaker 1: though he admitted to cutting a deer's heart out and
Speaker 1: eating it's Um heart. It's beating heart, like warm from
Speaker 1: its body and that's how much he loves flesh and
Speaker 1: he is of Cannibal's. He says he's never admitted to anyone.
Speaker 1: Let me just say you can say all these things
Speaker 1: in a text. You can lie, you can say that
Speaker 1: maybe is a fantasy of yours. If you do it,
Speaker 1: it's a different thing, um. And I don't see any
Speaker 1: difference between cutting a deer's heart out and eating it
Speaker 1: and eating animals. So that, to me, doesn't really bother me.
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is that he really does have
Speaker 1: these tendencies, I believe, to eat people and want to
Speaker 1: like and he he used to bite these girls. There's
Speaker 1: bite marks everywhere. He thought it was like a sign
Speaker 1: of like, I love you so much and you're wearing
Speaker 1: and these girls even convince themselves like he wants to
Speaker 1: mark me because I'm his. But then you know this
Speaker 1: one girl he's dating, all of a sudden she sees
Speaker 1: in the tabloids that he's on a date with rumor Willis,
Speaker 1: and he's got his arm around her in a way
Speaker 1: and she goes. I zoomed in on his hand on her,
Speaker 1: like you know, hip, and it was just the way
Speaker 1: he touches me and it was just, I mean that
Speaker 1: to me was just so devastating too, to see on
Speaker 1: like Perez Hilton, the guy that you're in love with,
Speaker 1: like doing the same things with someone else. It must
Speaker 1: be devastating. Anyway. Do you recommend this documentary? Yes, I do.
Speaker 1: I do because I want people to. I will say
Speaker 1: that there's one victim, effie, who was the original one
Speaker 1: that that started putting out Um screenshots of their D
Speaker 1: M s. This is the one that Um later hired
Speaker 1: Gloria all read and accused him of rape and Um
Speaker 1: all these things, and she later showed her face. At
Speaker 1: first she was all anonymous. Through Gloria alread, she was
Speaker 1: Jane Doe and then she came out as herself and
Speaker 1: was on tape and it's very brave and Um. She
Speaker 1: has said, though, that the documentary Um seems to be,
Speaker 1: I don't know, these are her words, glamorizing what happened,
Speaker 1: making it, sensationalizing it, and she's saying that the producers
Speaker 1: of the documentary essentially are doing the same thing that
Speaker 1: army did to her. Of like when she says no,
Speaker 1: they kept going. So I will say maybe look into
Speaker 1: that before you watch it, but just do a little
Speaker 1: bit more digging on this guy than he come out
Speaker 1: and apologize. It's like a full on a you know what, Andrew,
Speaker 1: do you remember that whole story about him working as
Speaker 1: a a time share manager down there? No, not when
Speaker 1: we were down there. So we were in the Cayman
Speaker 1: Islands and Army Hammer was there, and this was before.
Speaker 1: He's from there or his family moved there because they're
Speaker 1: super rich and that's where you go when you want
Speaker 1: to hide money. Um. So he grew up there a lot.
Speaker 1: He was, I think, born in L A, but Um,
Speaker 1: he so. I think like probably four months ago or
Speaker 1: less than that, it came out that he was selling
Speaker 1: time share, time shares and it's true. He really was.
Speaker 1: At first it came out it was a fake store.
Speaker 1: It came out everyone was like he's selling timeshare, that's
Speaker 1: so weird, and then it was like that's a fake story,
Speaker 1: and then someone was like no, it's it's actually real.
Speaker 1: He was selling time shares. He's been cut out of
Speaker 1: the family fortune. He can't get acting jobs anymore and
Speaker 1: he he was selling time shares and he was selling
Speaker 1: time shares at the resort that we stayed at, the Morit's.
Speaker 1: It came in, which is if you've been there, it
Speaker 1: is not a luxury place. It's really kind of the
Speaker 1: there was that in my ad that's how shitty it was. Um.
Speaker 1: But anyway, don't go parasailing with him the rope. Actually,
Speaker 1: you can trust him. He knows how to work a rope. Um. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I wanted to say before we go to break that
Speaker 1: I really would love everyone to check out a song
Speaker 1: that I've talked about on the podcast before by the
Speaker 1: natural lines, which is on his boyfriend, Matt Um Pond.
Speaker 1: He is my tour manager and he is on his fiance, sorry,
Speaker 1: not boyfriend, fiance, and he has a new song out
Speaker 1: and I really respect Matt for doing what he did,
Speaker 1: which is he went from being Matt Pond P A,
Speaker 1: which was his band name or his like name, his
Speaker 1: band name, and he went from that to the natural lines.
Speaker 1: And what was this decision to shift into a completely
Speaker 1: different Um? Like it reminds me of what I'm trying
Speaker 1: in terms of like completely rebranding. I think he had
Speaker 1: been toying with the idea and then he got signed
Speaker 1: by his dream record label. Simon Raymond from the Cocteau
Speaker 1: twins has a label and he has like our father,
Speaker 1: John Misty and beach house and all these amazing bands
Speaker 1: and they're based in the UK and he floated the
Speaker 1: idea to Matt about changing the name and Matt was like,
Speaker 1: I've kind of always toyed with it, but really, do
Speaker 1: you think? And so the label was fully on board.
Speaker 1: So then they went with it. But it is so
Speaker 1: scary to completely change. Scary. He's already like I've lost followers.
Speaker 1: I don't think people know that, like I changed my
Speaker 1: and they're like who is this guy? All this it
Speaker 1: is such a risk. It's like, can you imagine just
Speaker 1: starting over? What would your name? But that's just why
Speaker 1: I went over that's like they go from a band
Speaker 1: name to them their own name. It's not usually the
Speaker 1: other way around. I remember Dave Matthews saying he regretted
Speaker 1: making that decision as a young man to go with
Speaker 1: D also matt was like, I don't not just about me,
Speaker 1: it's like all these other people I collaborate with. So
Speaker 1: it feels correct to make it a brand. Well, the
Speaker 1: natural lines is a new band. Please over compensate for
Speaker 1: the lack of the followers he has now, because people
Speaker 1: just thought all of a sudden they got a new
Speaker 1: you know, soon as you just start following someone, you're like,
Speaker 1: how did this happen? Like you to record? Get on
Speaker 1: my phone. Yes, so, Um, yes, exactly. So follow the
Speaker 1: natural lines. The new song, the problem is me is
Speaker 1: so freaking good. I cannot stop singing it. I sing
Speaker 1: it all the time. I'm obsessed with it. I love
Speaker 1: it so much. I hope everyone listens to it. If
Speaker 1: it might not be for you, but at least give
Speaker 1: it a listen and I bet it will be called
Speaker 1: the problem is me by the natural lines. I would
Speaker 1: really love you to support him. He is just such
Speaker 1: a good musician and has helped me a lot Um
Speaker 1: musically along with Anya, but like it is, we'll go
Speaker 1: to break now. But I do want to talk about
Speaker 1: Um with Anya a little bit, about what it's like
Speaker 1: to like figure out when you're an artist. Even Andrew too,
Speaker 1: like you, struggled also it with your identity as an
Speaker 1: artist when you started out, and we'll talk a little
Speaker 1: bit about that when we get back with on your
Speaker 1: marina P A. we're back. It is our weekly episode
Speaker 1: while I'm recovering from vocal chord surgery. Um, we talked
Speaker 1: about on his boyfriend rebranding, like twenty years into his
Speaker 1: career maybe more right. I mean, this is a huge deal.
Speaker 1: This isn't just like a person and he's take he's
Speaker 1: doing a band on the side, like Ziggy. Start us,
Speaker 1: like I'm just gonna this is a dramatic shift. Matt
Speaker 1: Pon Pier is no longer. He is now the natural lines.
Speaker 1: When you were coming up on one of my favorite
Speaker 1: stories about you finding your voice because you were in
Speaker 1: your car trying to figure out, like what do I
Speaker 1: sound like? Remember that? Yeah, I was listening to Liz
Speaker 1: Fair's record exile and Guy Ville and I had a
Speaker 1: little tape recorder, like those little handheld things and I
Speaker 1: was just like, I want to be a singer. I
Speaker 1: had just seen Liz fair perform live with jewel opening
Speaker 1: the show. Jewel was an unknown and jewel was so
Speaker 1: funny and telling all these stories and playing songs all
Speaker 1: alone on stage, captivating a sold out crowd in San
Speaker 1: Francisco at the Warfield, and I was like I want
Speaker 1: to do that, like this is what I want to do,
Speaker 1: but I don't have a voice like Juel who was
Speaker 1: like the Adele of the time. And you written a
Speaker 1: song before? Did you play guitar? At this point I
Speaker 1: had written like little song sketches, kind of like little
Speaker 1: you know, like one minute long things, or like a
Speaker 1: little but not really. I was just in my car
Speaker 1: singing into this recorder because Liz phair had a very
Speaker 1: imperfect voice at the time and I was like that's
Speaker 1: probably what I want to sound like more. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like a Nana da Dunna, like it's kind of
Speaker 1: like she kind of sounds like she's got in attitude
Speaker 1: all the time. I thought it, but I wanted like
Speaker 1: someone talking like if I'm talking like this and then
Speaker 1: I want to break into a song, I don't want
Speaker 1: to sound completely different, you know, like I want to
Speaker 1: sound like I have heard all over the that's how
Speaker 1: she sounds. It's like, yes, not too far from talking voice.
Speaker 1: So I was like, I want to be that, I
Speaker 1: don't want to yeah. So then I was just playing
Speaker 1: around and man, that tape is probably filled with so
Speaker 1: much embarrassing stuff. I just was like doing a head voice,
Speaker 1: and then I chast voice and then finally I hit something.
Speaker 1: I'm like that, that that, that's it, like somewhere and
Speaker 1: keep honing that. And I don't know what it was,
Speaker 1: but it's probably similar to what I am my singing voices.
Speaker 1: All I talk about with my vocal coaches, like what,
Speaker 1: she's going to really help me? The one that discovered
Speaker 1: the notes on my throat and had this whole thing.
Speaker 1: This all happened my friend Amy. She Um, she's gonna
Speaker 1: help me find that voice, because it is. I've been
Speaker 1: doing a new bid on stage and I kind of
Speaker 1: want help with it. But it's about how I don't
Speaker 1: think people realize, Um, if they're not singers or not
Speaker 1: attempting to be, like you don't just it's rare that
Speaker 1: you just start singing and that like that's the way
Speaker 1: your voice sounds, and that's the way it's, I mean
Speaker 1: odd way, has a certain like if you're singing like this,
Speaker 1: like very articulate and everything's like this, and then there's
Speaker 1: like I got up in the morning and like yeah,
Speaker 1: you can get and I put on my Ping Wig
Speaker 1: and I said hello to the birds outside and then
Speaker 1: I started to sing, like so there's sad and then,
Speaker 1: like you're saying, there's like the head voice of like
Speaker 1: if I'm singing up like singing up here is like
Speaker 1: a like a falsetto, like in your nose, and then
Speaker 1: there's like down here. I mean when you choose your voice,
Speaker 1: it doesn't just come out of your head. Sometimes it does.
Speaker 1: So I was trying to think of a bit about
Speaker 1: Um and I did it. I think I tried it.
Speaker 1: Maybe I didn't try it in Vegas, but about Um
Speaker 1: Neil Young, I'm like I want us all to like
Speaker 1: I just want to bring up Neil young and be like,
Speaker 1: you know, for instance, Neil Young, like I don't think
Speaker 1: you always give a lot of thought to like how
Speaker 1: much goes into a singing voice and how weird singing
Speaker 1: can be. Cause Neil Young is like he was just
Speaker 1: like a rock or and he talks like this man.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you've ever heard Neil Young, he's kind
Speaker 1: of like has a ponytail, is just like a dude.
Speaker 1: And the first time Neil young sat his friends down
Speaker 1: and was like, guys, I have like a song. Do
Speaker 1: you guys want to hear? And they're like, Neil, fucking yes,
Speaker 1: you've been playing guitar, you rock out, you have so
Speaker 1: much passion about like the Vietnam War. Let's hear it, Dude,
Speaker 1: let's fucking rock, and he's like here it goes. Well,
Speaker 1: I went into a metal crying and I thought about
Speaker 1: the bees and they were like is that's the old
Speaker 1: woman in the shoe? Why do you sound like what
Speaker 1: Susan Boyle sounds like. What's going Neil Young? That voice.
Speaker 1: I remember the first time I heard Neil Young's voice.
Speaker 1: It was just in my parents car. I did not
Speaker 1: know it was a man. And then when I matching it,
Speaker 1: you go it's but you don't question it because you
Speaker 1: grow up with Neil Young, you don't question that. That
Speaker 1: had to have been jarring to sing like this and wine,
Speaker 1: cause I'm dreaming up like that's not a marketing the
Speaker 1: free world. He doesn't do some rock voice, doesn't he?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know him well enough, but
Speaker 1: think about I'm singing as singers that just had to
Speaker 1: come out. I mean, I've talked about Bob Dylan before,
Speaker 1: like singing like this, and I mean he kind of
Speaker 1: talks like that. To Eddie vetter does like talk like this,
Speaker 1: and Dave Matthew sounds like he sings. But a lot
Speaker 1: of people you gotta like make uh like even then
Speaker 1: when halls these things like this, and she's a little
Speaker 1: baby and she's looking like this, like she had to
Speaker 1: decide to sing like a little bit of like a
Speaker 1: little bitby with big old lips in the beginning. Everyone,
Speaker 1: at some point. We can talk about Selena Gramez on,
Speaker 1: only murders in the building because she passed. Talk like
Speaker 1: this and this is her speaking verse. But you're like
Speaker 1: a little bit more like like, like yours is almost
Speaker 1: like too high, because that's almost like that kind of
Speaker 1: that's the same. Andrew, to lose you to love me,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't matter how good it is. Like there's
Speaker 1: millions of singers that just sound it's perfect and no
Speaker 1: one gives a fuck. Well, it's not about like everyone
Speaker 1: pretty much sounds pitch perfect. I'm saying, like they're singers
Speaker 1: that sound like no matter what you sing like, you
Speaker 1: have to make a choice, whether the choice is not
Speaker 1: to make a choice, you know, like if I'm just
Speaker 1: singing like the way I talked, like sometimes when I
Speaker 1: would be in my voice lesson and an yea, I'm
Speaker 1: sure I'm just like repeating things. You should be talking
Speaker 1: about this more than me, but because I'm getting into
Speaker 1: the logistics of it, sometimes I would be singing a
Speaker 1: line like Um um, I'm trying to think, oh, like
Speaker 1: she's so lucky, she's a star, but she cries and
Speaker 1: cries in her lonely heart, thinking and I would be
Speaker 1: like okay. Well, my voice teacher would go, hold on,
Speaker 1: we're just getting away from it now, because you're just
Speaker 1: singing it and you're just repeating the way you've heard
Speaker 1: it your whole life. Britney spear singing it. She was
Speaker 1: like what if you just say that those words and
Speaker 1: I'm like she's so lucky, she's a star, but she
Speaker 1: cries and cries in her lonely heart, and she goes okay,
Speaker 1: now sing it like that like that is a good
Speaker 1: practice of like and then you go she's so lucky,
Speaker 1: she is a star, but she cries and cries and
Speaker 1: like and then it brings out this emotion. Sometimes you
Speaker 1: gotta take the lyrics because the lyrics get separated from
Speaker 1: what you're really trying to say, especially if it's a
Speaker 1: song that you've only heard sung. Um. I found that
Speaker 1: that was an interesting technique, but I'm really excited to
Speaker 1: figure out because my voice can and so can yours.
Speaker 1: On you, I mean your impressions are uncanny. I feel
Speaker 1: like you can do so many different you could have
Speaker 1: chosen so many different singing styles in terms of how
Speaker 1: your voices I wish I could. I wish I had
Speaker 1: more constructions. Cannot belt stuff out like Nikki can imitate
Speaker 1: anybody singing. Wise, I cannot. My My my dentist once
Speaker 1: told me I have the larynx of an eight year
Speaker 1: old boy, and he knew that because this circumference of
Speaker 1: his tick. It's like, what do you mean? It's very specific,
Speaker 1: you know odd. But he said my larynx is particularly small,
Speaker 1: which kind of made me feel better, because I've struggled
Speaker 1: with like I cannot belt out a song. I don't
Speaker 1: have a lot of control, which is why voice lessons
Speaker 1: helped me and I learned how. I learned a trick
Speaker 1: for belting that I'd never heard from all my voice
Speaker 1: teachers before, and I've been to four prior to this
Speaker 1: amy girl, who has changed my life, and she said
Speaker 1: when you belt, instead of trying to put all the
Speaker 1: air behind it and push it out with air, hold
Speaker 1: your breath as you're belting, which sounds crazy, but it
Speaker 1: actually worked, because I was working on this one. You
Speaker 1: know the Song August that we always play, that's like
Speaker 1: the bridge. Is like back when we were changing for
Speaker 1: the better, wanting was enough and to live for the
Speaker 1: hope of it all. Cancel plans, just in case you called,
Speaker 1: just meet me behind them all. So much for some
Speaker 1: of love saying us, because you weren't that mind to lose.
Speaker 1: I always struggled with the mine to loose because I
Speaker 1: was trying to put the breath behind it. But then
Speaker 1: she goes, just notice, hold your breath and still say it,
Speaker 1: and it worked. So I want to try that out,
Speaker 1: but I it blew my mind because my past voice teacher,
Speaker 1: who was an operatic voice coach, who was so experienced,
Speaker 1: so Um, you know, recommended. She was like you always
Speaker 1: Breath Dump Nicky, which is like, before I would say
Speaker 1: a line, I would just go like I would like
Speaker 1: Um so much for say in love and say and
Speaker 1: then I would I would breathe it out before I
Speaker 1: would start saying the word. And she was like no,
Speaker 1: you need to breath the breath, to push it with
Speaker 1: your breath, and then this other coach. I go wait,
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to hold my breath. So it just helped.
Speaker 1: I don't know if any people out there, if you
Speaker 1: want to try to hit notes in your car, just
Speaker 1: try to hold your breath and sing it and not
Speaker 1: let the air out, but I am just like even
Speaker 1: we're talking about this last week with Andrew about Um
Speaker 1: when he first started, when you're a comedian, finding your
Speaker 1: voice and like how you feel ridiculous because you don't
Speaker 1: have jokes yet. Really you don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 1: You're kind of throwing things out there. You have to
Speaker 1: like put out so much bad stuff to find the good.
Speaker 1: You gotta sound bad first to find the good and
Speaker 1: to find what works. You gotta like to find what works.
Speaker 1: It's so rare that someone just gets it the first time.
Speaker 1: Like you're gonna have to sound kind of ridiculous. Andrews
Speaker 1: started out with a character, Andy shallows, that would just
Speaker 1: do one liners and he had a wookie playing slide
Speaker 1: guitar and behind him to just like and what a
Speaker 1: what a leap that was to start that way before
Speaker 1: anything else. Yeah, I started that it. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I was so scared to just be myself
Speaker 1: up there that it gave me it was a security
Speaker 1: blanket and I also had all these like one liners written.
Speaker 1: So it was like I didn't want to just I
Speaker 1: don't know. And I saw Zach Galvinakis purple on you
Speaker 1: and he did to the piano and I couldn't play piano,
Speaker 1: I couldn't play guitar. But my friend addressed like a
Speaker 1: wookie normally. Uh, not even as a joke. He would
Speaker 1: just well guests for no one else. He would wear
Speaker 1: it around town. So I was like maybe he'd want
Speaker 1: to do it for a reason. It's so smart, and
Speaker 1: so I was because it's yeah, it was unbelievable, like
Speaker 1: it really was a spectacle to watch and people lost
Speaker 1: their minds seeing this wookie and he was like seven feet.
Speaker 1: I put big shoes on him. He was in leader
Speaker 1: Hosen and I didn't make a joke about it. I
Speaker 1: didn't make a joke about it. was there part of it?
Speaker 1: Because for me, I feel like I would do that,
Speaker 1: because if someone didn't like it, I'd go they didn't
Speaker 1: like the wookie. It wasn't me. was there part of it?
Speaker 1: was that a part of it for you? Were you
Speaker 1: just trying to do something that was like so funny
Speaker 1: in multiple ways that there was no way to fail?
Speaker 1: I guess it was a little bit of both. There
Speaker 1: was something pretty punk rock about doing something so different.
Speaker 1: Like I was on the lineup and it would be
Speaker 1: like like a bringer, yeah, and everyone's like yeah, what
Speaker 1: what do you do there? Like A he's getting dressed
Speaker 1: and I'm like yeah, that's my wookie. They're like wait,
Speaker 1: what's happening? And then every everyone lost it. Like people
Speaker 1: loved it, like the owner the Improv loved it, and
Speaker 1: if I was if there was a moment though, well,
Speaker 1: the wookie got a girlfriend and it broke the band
Speaker 1: up because he chose her over me. We were doing uh,
Speaker 1: open open mics in Florida for like three people in
Speaker 1: front of a fish tank and he's dressed. He's sweating
Speaker 1: like crazy in the wookie cost for four people like
Speaker 1: a lot to going too for a little open mic,
Speaker 1: and especially when you're starting out in Florida, all the
Speaker 1: shows you the wookie costume and I pay him with
Speaker 1: compliments that he couldn't hear because of a mask. Of
Speaker 1: course he didn't, but because Andrew wasn't gtting paid, I
Speaker 1: don't think. But so it was. He was in it
Speaker 1: for the love and that's why he got out of it.
Speaker 1: But it's interesting because you did listen, like going into it. Anya,
Speaker 1: you were inspired by Liz Fair. That's what got you
Speaker 1: going like okay, I like that way what she's doing. Andrew,
Speaker 1: you watch purple onion UHACK, because and you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: one liners. That's it, the music thing. That's it. Also,
Speaker 1: you picked Um, you know, Jack Handy, deep thoughts, and
Speaker 1: that's what led you to like, Oh, these aren't deep thoughts,
Speaker 1: these are shallow thoughts, andy, shallow like we're all inspired
Speaker 1: by other artists, like I always say. You know, I
Speaker 1: am talking right now with my hands like this, because
Speaker 1: I imitated Sarah Silverman early on, like I do Jennif
Speaker 1: Ranis and things of like. Oh, no, like because I
Speaker 1: but that's just become who I am because it's what
Speaker 1: you pick up. My voice is Husky because my mom.
Speaker 1: It isn't because of the shape of my chords, it's
Speaker 1: not because of the damage, it's because it's almost like
Speaker 1: an accent that you have. I grew up with a
Speaker 1: mom who I admired, who had a gravelly voice, and
Speaker 1: so I mimicked it. So you pick up on the
Speaker 1: things you love and then you can't help but as
Speaker 1: you grow become yourself and find out what works. And then,
Speaker 1: but in comedy, and I know you've heard this a
Speaker 1: million times, it takes, what would they always say, ten
Speaker 1: years to find your voice. You heard that right, Andrew. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I remember Tom Sigura, who is whatever, a friend
Speaker 1: of mine, who I asked before I really started doing
Speaker 1: he goes, it's gonna take you ten years to just
Speaker 1: be yourself on stage and I was like what, Dude,
Speaker 1: and like I was. And now it's like never more
Speaker 1: than ever, like I am about eleven or twelve years in.
Speaker 1: The problem I have now is not doing jokes or
Speaker 1: like telling a story and not like like doing but
Speaker 1: that's you, dude, but that's what I'm saying. Like you
Speaker 1: found it, like you tell stories, I love that you're
Speaker 1: leaning into longer form storytelling, not just joke, joke, joke,
Speaker 1: because you're capable of it. You've proven that. It did
Speaker 1: ten years of doing that and now you're always been
Speaker 1: a story guy. That's always been what you've gravitated towards.
Speaker 1: You collect stories. Your life is just a story magnet.
Speaker 1: The amount of stories you have is insane. That's why
Speaker 1: I have a segment called Andrew's short story circle segment. Um.
Speaker 1: So I like that you. I want like not that
Speaker 1: this is the vice, that uh, this is a top
Speaker 1: we can talk about this off camera or you know,
Speaker 1: but like I feel like this is who you are.
Speaker 1: Like you, someone will look at you someday and be like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I want to tell stories that have such great jokes
Speaker 1: within that. So like and your stories are already all
Speaker 1: worked out, like and they're interesting enough that they don't
Speaker 1: need to have joke. You know, like kind of laugh
Speaker 1: you get. So it's it's a little tough with the
Speaker 1: last because they still hit. But you know when you
Speaker 1: do a joke that it's rolling. You feel like you
Speaker 1: catch a wave. Yeah, and yeah, it's a different kind
Speaker 1: of wave. And my only thing is, like sometimes you
Speaker 1: get lazy within the story, because you've told the same
Speaker 1: story millions of times, so you already know how this
Speaker 1: story plays in your head. So to add a tag
Speaker 1: or to add a left turn or whatever to a
Speaker 1: story you've already told is a little difficult. So you
Speaker 1: have to kind of almost step away. No, you, you're
Speaker 1: gonna be great at that, because you're gonna get bored
Speaker 1: with these stories and it's gonna Happen Naturally. Like I
Speaker 1: feel like you don't even have to try to remember
Speaker 1: a tag you wrote, just like Oh, yeah, no, I agree.
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I agree with that. I'm excited
Speaker 1: to see this one, just like I've never understood it
Speaker 1: until I did it. And Yeah, you just one, you
Speaker 1: have to fill the time and two, you just have
Speaker 1: to be comfortable in like whatever, not have crushing the
Speaker 1: whole time and I don't know, and just having enough space.
Speaker 1: Like when I would open for you, it would be
Speaker 1: like if I do a seven minute story of a
Speaker 1: ten minute said that, and I would play so much
Speaker 1: fucking fear in that, I mean, because if you go
Speaker 1: into it, you cannot bail. And then you were in
Speaker 1: a seven minutes and then, which I did with you
Speaker 1: still and it's like your crowds are incredible and it
Speaker 1: definitely helped a millionfold. But UH yeah, well, they are were.
Speaker 1: I mean you're funny and so it just and you
Speaker 1: can tell whatever story and they have and they're so
Speaker 1: interesting and weird like your stories are. Just I'm almost
Speaker 1: jealous of how much you attract like the most amazing stories,
Speaker 1: but it's not even about you. It's not like, Oh
Speaker 1: my God, stories just happened to Andrew. He's so lucky.
Speaker 1: It's like you worked for that. I was saying to
Speaker 1: someone recently, Oh my God, this was a funny moment.
Speaker 1: I was backstage with a comedian and, Um, I was
Speaker 1: telling them. I was telling him how, you know, we
Speaker 1: were talking about our relationship in the past and I
Speaker 1: was like, you know, we weren't that close because I
Speaker 1: was jealous of you, and that's what people are jealous
Speaker 1: of you. He was talking about someone that was kind
Speaker 1: of weird to him and didn't used to be a
Speaker 1: go because they're jealous. You got famous, you got successful
Speaker 1: and they're fucking jealous. And I used to be that way.
Speaker 1: I used to feel that way. And he goes jealous
Speaker 1: of me and he starts listening off all these things,
Speaker 1: like you were jealous of me. Well, let me just
Speaker 1: tell you what's going on with me. He starts saying
Speaker 1: all these things about his life currently and I wanted
Speaker 1: to go, well, not, not like now. I'm not like
Speaker 1: the way you are now. No, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be that. Before I knew you, I wanted to be you.
Speaker 1: But the funny part was I said, you know, what
Speaker 1: I realized was like, I'm not, and they go, well, you're,
Speaker 1: you're just as talented, and I go, Oh, I know.
Speaker 1: I go, I'm jealous of your work ethic, to be
Speaker 1: honest with you, like I'm jealous of the way you work,
Speaker 1: and I know that I work very hard, but I
Speaker 1: work hard in a way that is really easy for
Speaker 1: me to work really hard. I show up, I do sets,
Speaker 1: I do a lot of podcasts, but the way, and
Speaker 1: I have talked about this a million times before, sorry
Speaker 1: to repeat it, but the way in which I feel
Speaker 1: like is actual work for me that I don't want
Speaker 1: to do. To me, work is suff you don't want
Speaker 1: to do and that's hard for you. That's what feels
Speaker 1: like work to me. It's writing jokes, it's going over them,
Speaker 1: it's listening to my sets, all of these things, because
Speaker 1: I was being followed around by this reporter for the
Speaker 1: esquire and he was, and I think I said this
Speaker 1: already before on the podcast too, but he's like talking
Speaker 1: to us, me, Kurt Metzker and Um Jessel Nick, maybe backstage,
Speaker 1: and he was talking about do you guys you know
Speaker 1: you listen to your set afterwards? and Kurt's like it
Speaker 1: changed my life listening to my sat could you listen
Speaker 1: to your set? And I go, I record them all,
Speaker 1: but no, I've never I don't do that. It's excruciating
Speaker 1: and he's like you got it, and I go, of
Speaker 1: course I know that. I go and John the McDermott,
Speaker 1: who's interviewing me, he's like why don't you? And I
Speaker 1: go because I don't. It's hard and I don't like
Speaker 1: listening to myself. And I go, I know I would
Speaker 1: be such a better comic if I did it, and
Speaker 1: he goes, but what? So you're leaving them on and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm successful enough. I know it could be more,
Speaker 1: but this is fine. At some point you go it's
Speaker 1: too uncomfortable and I'm happy with not doing that in
Speaker 1: order to just, you know, not do that. But what
Speaker 1: I said to this person was, and I think it's
Speaker 1: the first time I've ever told someone who is extremely
Speaker 1: successful that I said, I we are, we are just
Speaker 1: as talented. You just work harder, like your talent is.
Speaker 1: There's nothing different about you and I, which is true
Speaker 1: for everyone. The thing about that the difference between you
Speaker 1: and Beyonce, and I'm talking to you, listener, and beyonce
Speaker 1: or you at anyone that you go wow, they are
Speaker 1: just there are certain people that, yes, Jamie Fox, I
Speaker 1: think on say there are people that are born with
Speaker 1: like just talent in their bones, but it is hours
Speaker 1: of work. The Jackson five did not have a childhood.
Speaker 1: All they did was singing, dance and practice. Our more
Speaker 1: hours a day than your dad worked in the whole
Speaker 1: mind like they they never they didn't have a life.
Speaker 1: So the difference between you and the most talented person
Speaker 1: is always, the time, going to be that they worked harder.
Speaker 1: So when I told this person, I go, Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: not jealous of like, I know we have the same brain,
Speaker 1: capable of the same things. I'm I'm a genius, just
Speaker 1: like you are. comedically, you just work in a you're
Speaker 1: just a harder worker and they seem to be offended,
Speaker 1: which I understand, because everyone wants to think that talent
Speaker 1: is like them, I'm special. And the truth is, even
Speaker 1: if it was special, you didn't choose your brain. You didn't.
Speaker 1: You just got lucky that you got it. But people
Speaker 1: want to feel like, no, I'm smarter, I'm different, and yes,
Speaker 1: of course there's different styles, but really it was just
Speaker 1: interesting to see this person's face fall kind of when
Speaker 1: I go oh, no, no, no, I'm not jealous of
Speaker 1: like your talent, like we're just equally. Our brains are
Speaker 1: equally capable of the same comedic genius, for sure, and
Speaker 1: I was even giving them a compliment, because I think
Speaker 1: I'm pretty good at comedy. I was saying, Oh, we're equal,
Speaker 1: you just work, you work harder than me, and so
Speaker 1: you're going to be more successful and you're going to
Speaker 1: be better and I could just see them being a
Speaker 1: little bit insulted because, and I realized at the time
Speaker 1: I would be too, for the truth is it's the truth.
Speaker 1: Any thoughts on that? Well, I was thinking about like, granted,
Speaker 1: I'm literally one headlining set into headlining, so it's like
Speaker 1: so ridiculous to even talk about, but it doesn't make
Speaker 1: as a headliner, are you? But as a headliner, as
Speaker 1: being a headliner, uh, when you would do five in
Speaker 1: a weekend, talking about doing the work and and doing
Speaker 1: the time, like there is no way to other than
Speaker 1: if you fold in every fucking show, then to get better.
Speaker 1: So you were doing like when you were tired on Sunday.
Speaker 1: I kind of understood it, but didn't really like I
Speaker 1: did and I and then I was like, Oh my God,
Speaker 1: this is the most draining thing on earth and it
Speaker 1: is doing the work and just doing like, well, I
Speaker 1: don't record myself, I don't listen to all that whatever
Speaker 1: for show work. So I don't know. So, like I
Speaker 1: learned a lot that work. Huh, you do get paid
Speaker 1: and you get paid for even the sets I do
Speaker 1: that I don't get paid for. That's worked too. But
Speaker 1: for me showing up and doing a set is not
Speaker 1: as much work as me sitting at a computer and
Speaker 1: writing out a joke. So that's what I mean. But
Speaker 1: I agree. But I'm just saying like that five hours,
Speaker 1: like that's a lot and and no, but I was
Speaker 1: getting to the point of, like you know, when you're like, Oh,
Speaker 1: you know, stand up, like you know, I get off
Speaker 1: stage time, they were laughing so hard. I did one
Speaker 1: hour one time and I was like all right, I'm
Speaker 1: I'm good for a while, like I don't need this draw.
Speaker 1: And then you did it for sixteen years, five shows
Speaker 1: a weekend. Granted, it's going to get you sharp, but
Speaker 1: you're also going to have a loathing for it in
Speaker 1: a way, like it's over like that. Let's the show's over,
Speaker 1: let's go home. I don't need to like, like we
Speaker 1: don't need to go celebrate this set and keep the
Speaker 1: party going. It's a little like is that all there is? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just like, you know, I'm done with my shift.
Speaker 1: It's not like the first day on the job kind
Speaker 1: of thing, where it's like sometimes you work at a
Speaker 1: job and you're like, Oh my God, this is awesome,
Speaker 1: it's new, I'm having fun of meeting all these New
Speaker 1: People and you have that energy. But, Um, I just
Speaker 1: think it's important for myself, I think, more than anything,
Speaker 1: to realize that, and I talked about this a million times,
Speaker 1: if you're feeling bad about yourself, comparing yourself to someone,
Speaker 1: the difference between you looking a certain way that you
Speaker 1: want to look, between you being successful in your career
Speaker 1: in a certain way. A lot of times it is.
Speaker 1: It's just luck, as it as it always really is
Speaker 1: when it comes down to it. But it's not because
Speaker 1: you're like stupider or less talented. It's just the way
Speaker 1: in which work and your stamina and you might you
Speaker 1: do have the talent in you, you just might not
Speaker 1: have the stamina, and that's a little bit easier of
Speaker 1: a pill to swallow for me on any of this
Speaker 1: personating with you in terms of it makes me think
Speaker 1: about I took this acting program once and Richard Dreyfus
Speaker 1: was one of the teachers and he said success is
Speaker 1: talent plus ambition, and some people have a lot of
Speaker 1: talent and not a lot of ambition and they won't
Speaker 1: be as successful. Some people have a ship ton of
Speaker 1: ambition not that much talent they'll be successful. But you know,
Speaker 1: all of us know someone mediocre WHO's incredibly famous. They
Speaker 1: don't have a lot of talent but they have a
Speaker 1: ton of drive, you know, for someone who is so
Speaker 1: talented and you go how are they not the most
Speaker 1: famous person alive writing the most incredible songs, but they
Speaker 1: don't want to get a manager or an agent or
Speaker 1: you know, they don't want to like be on Tiktok
Speaker 1: all day. I get it, like the music business has
Speaker 1: changed so much you can't stand being online and doing
Speaker 1: the thing like this is part of being famous now,
Speaker 1: like people don't really listen to full songs. That often
Speaker 1: our full albums, like they wanted to video. It's like,
Speaker 1: do I want to do that? I don't know. Well, Anya,
Speaker 1: I was thinking like I've been. It's been so nice
Speaker 1: because on our girls chat on you has been sharing
Speaker 1: she joined a songwriting group, which I know you were
Speaker 1: like a little even reluctant to do, which would be
Speaker 1: such an interesting thing to do. A joke writing group
Speaker 1: where like you get a subject, so tell us about
Speaker 1: this joke riding Song loves to join a joke riding
Speaker 1: group too. Um, just as like not do it. Honestly,
Speaker 1: that would be so fun. I should get a group
Speaker 1: together people, because we would all have to write a
Speaker 1: joke about one subject. So tell us how it works.
Speaker 1: And I've been and there's amazing people in this group. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Bob Schneider out of Austin, Texas is an incredible singer Songwriter.
Speaker 1: Started decades ago. I first joined like twenty years ago,
Speaker 1: and I've written like half of my records are because
Speaker 1: of that group. So every day, every Friday, you get
Speaker 1: an assignment and the raises, let's say, like, you know,
Speaker 1: calendar boy. I just invented that. So you have to
Speaker 1: put calendar boy in a song and it's due Tuesday.
Speaker 1: So you have like four or five days, whatever, four
Speaker 1: days to write calendar boy, you know. And so we
Speaker 1: had one last week. The assignment was DIS irregardlessly, which
Speaker 1: is obviously not a word this. This is it was
Speaker 1: and that's the song I wrote. It was an ear.
Speaker 1: You wrote a song called rape. And so she's been
Speaker 1: sharing these songs before she joined this group. Again, she
Speaker 1: was like, I kind of don't want to because, like,
Speaker 1: I feel like it's gonna be bad and I'm not
Speaker 1: going to have it in on time, and there's other
Speaker 1: people in this group and like everyone hears it and
Speaker 1: I haven't written in years. I'm like, you lost it,
Speaker 1: maybe I lost it song. Yeah, it is so nobody
Speaker 1: there's no feedback. Oh my God, it's so we are saying.
Speaker 1: There's no feedback, though, like no one will. People can
Speaker 1: say a great job, but it's sort of almost encouraged.
Speaker 1: There's never been any rules, but no one will write
Speaker 1: back usually and be like that's amazing. It's just like
Speaker 1: you just turn it in, and Bob's whole philosophy is
Speaker 1: just do the song. WHO gives a ship if it's
Speaker 1: a Shitty Song? Just get it done. That's and you
Speaker 1: get kicked out of the group if you don't turn
Speaker 1: a song in. The rule is don't be afraid to
Speaker 1: sound bad. Just get it done, because something bad is
Speaker 1: going to teach you something that's going to lead to
Speaker 1: something good, rather than doing nothing because you're scared of
Speaker 1: being bad. We gotta go to break. I wish we
Speaker 1: could hear the rabbi song because it has been in
Speaker 1: my head, but it's so good and it feels like
Speaker 1: you did get your Mojo back. It's embarrassing. Maybe we'll
Speaker 1: listen to it as we go to break. Right now.
Speaker 1: This is a rap, a a little bit of a
Speaker 1: rap from on your Marina say Oh, then you open
Speaker 1: up your mouth. The rabbi, Rabbi Erape, Brabby, Rabbi Rabbi
Speaker 1: Ere Ray. Can't on hear these here rapes. No killor
Speaker 1: COF or billy kill left it hereiccorlessly. I can't stand
Speaker 1: somewhere to all. I can stand them big and small,
Speaker 1: phone themselves along the way. Sometimes I was yesterday the
Speaker 1: Rabbi Rabbi Ere, Rabbi Rabbi e Rabby yere rape. Count
Speaker 1: on me hear these right. Okay, good, good, alright, we're back.
Speaker 1: Let's get to it. We've got a lot to get
Speaker 1: through and we not have a lot of time because
Speaker 1: I talked too much. Let's get to fan tracks. It's
Speaker 1: time for fan tracks. These are your voicemails from our fans.
Speaker 1: We love to hear it. Let's get to it, all right.
Speaker 1: Let's start off with a voicemail from Benji. Hey, Nicki
Speaker 1: Andrew Noah, love the pod. Bestie here from New York.
Speaker 1: I just feel like Nikki would love this story. But
Speaker 1: me and a friend went out last night to go
Speaker 1: to this random bar and when we got there, they
Speaker 1: were like, are you two here for the Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: party that's happening downstairs, and we were like, Um, we
Speaker 1: had absolutely no idea that that was a thing, but yes,
Speaker 1: we are a hundred percent here, um, and we just
Speaker 1: danced for three hours in a room full of swift
Speaker 1: ease to all of her best songs. I mean all
Speaker 1: of her songs are her best songs, but it was
Speaker 1: maybe the best end of my life. Um, and I
Speaker 1: felt like Nikki would totally love the idea of just
Speaker 1: dancing with a room Phill of swifties. Um, I've but
Speaker 1: apparently they do it like every two to New York.
Speaker 1: So if you're ever around it, you should totally go
Speaker 1: check it out. It is totally a vibe. Benji, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Um, I have been to one of
Speaker 1: these and they happened everywhere. Yeah, which one in Philadelphia? Um,
Speaker 1: there's one coming up in St Louis. I'm going to
Speaker 1: go to the last one to turn into a super
Speaker 1: spreader event, but this one. Um. But they happen everywhere
Speaker 1: if you're swifty, and they actually are happening with all
Speaker 1: types of music. So if you're a fan of a
Speaker 1: certain band that has a big following, chances are there
Speaker 1: will be like a sing along thing to go to.
Speaker 1: It is so it's like it's the closest you can
Speaker 1: get to going to a concert because, first of all,
Speaker 1: concerts everyone sings along anyway, so you don't even here
Speaker 1: the artist. It is so fun and it reminded me
Speaker 1: of like maybe that's something I can go to during
Speaker 1: my vocal rest, as long as I do not sing
Speaker 1: or because sometimes when I think I'm not singing and
Speaker 1: I'm just like like mouthing, it does come out, but
Speaker 1: man it is I love a stumble on something great.
Speaker 1: You know. Has that happens in New York more than anywhere?
Speaker 1: You just stumble and you're like, oh, I remember I
Speaker 1: stumbled and Blues Traveler was playing the guy from blues
Speaker 1: traveler with the bases from fish in like a little
Speaker 1: bar and I was like, Oh, look at this Tuesday night.
Speaker 1: What's that guy's name again? Yeah, Harmonica Vest Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but like that. You know, have you
Speaker 1: ever stumbled and stumbled into something so awesome? Um, comedian's
Speaker 1: birthday parties, Gonahea, was that the same party? It's a
Speaker 1: comedian named Gonaia Gat. Yeah, Um, no, I'm sure I've stumbled.
Speaker 1: I mean literally, I've stumbled a lot, but nothing, never,
Speaker 1: nothing ever comes to nothing comes to mind. Now. I'm
Speaker 1: sure there's one that I'm just going to think of
Speaker 1: in one hour and be like Oh, that was the
Speaker 1: best stumble. Um. But this is a stumble in and
Speaker 1: of itself. Let's get to the next fan T rex. Okay,
Speaker 1: here's a mispronunciation from Mary II, Nikki, Andrew. Noah, this
Speaker 1: is Mary from Kansas City and I am calling in
Speaker 1: with a mispronunciation and it's actually from Wednesday's episode, and
Speaker 1: I hope I don't sound like a Brat for pointing
Speaker 1: this out. Then be the first, but I laughed out
Speaker 1: loud every single time I heard Andrews say ocular implant
Speaker 1: and he was so consistent and there was no question
Speaker 1: in his voice and I just kept picturing people having
Speaker 1: eyeballs implanted or transplanted Um instead of probably what he
Speaker 1: meant was cochlear implant clear. Anyway, thank you for the laugh.
Speaker 1: You always provide the laughs, even if it's unintentional. U Nikki,
Speaker 1: hope all goes well with your surgery and you have
Speaker 1: a great day. Thanky, what's her name again? She's a Mary,
Speaker 1: Mary and kids city. Um, I'm almost more embarrassed I
Speaker 1: didn't catch it than Andrew should be that he said
Speaker 1: it was a lot. I know. I think it's a
Speaker 1: CO clear. I've always heard it pronounced not cocular but nuclear,
Speaker 1: a nuclear in song. Yeah, Nuke. Yeah, it's in your robe,
Speaker 1: my favorite thing. I don't remember when we were talking
Speaker 1: about co clear inlants it is so fun. ocular implant. Apparently,
Speaker 1: Oh my God, no, when Um, my favorite thing is
Speaker 1: when babies get them and they here for the first
Speaker 1: time their mom's voice and then they start off. But
Speaker 1: this is my favorite. This is my impression. I'm good
Speaker 1: for another. You have to see the Youtube of me
Speaker 1: doing the impression of a baby with a Cochler and Brent. Okay,
Speaker 1: so I'm just a baby being like he, baby, he, no, O,
Speaker 1: we're here, baby, it's mommy, Mommy's here. They just think
Speaker 1: they tooltera in such a way and then just stare
Speaker 1: like but I love the initial turns on. They're like,
Speaker 1: but Joel, so sweet. Have you ever seen youtubes of
Speaker 1: Color Blind children? It's one of the biggest things I
Speaker 1: ever cry. I want my boyfriend to be color blind
Speaker 1: so bad. So on our wedding day I can get
Speaker 1: him at it. He can cry at why? Because they
Speaker 1: see color for the first time. How beautiful the world is.
Speaker 1: I get that. But these parents, what are you saving? Like,
Speaker 1: how much are these glasses? They could have got them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like people cannot afford that. Andrew, no, no,
Speaker 1: I know that, or they might not have existed then.
Speaker 1: How long have they existed for? I'm just saying like exist.
Speaker 1: But I do think, though, that they are so expensive
Speaker 1: and like are they how much? Probably I'm guessing around
Speaker 1: six under bucks, but that's probably close enough. But that
Speaker 1: is a lot of money for some people. And I
Speaker 1: want to just say on Reddit there was this there's
Speaker 1: a subreddit called thrift store fines and and there's a
Speaker 1: thing called if someone finds something and they just don't
Speaker 1: buy it, they say catch and release and they just
Speaker 1: like show a picture of it and go like it's awesome,
Speaker 1: but I couldn't buy it. And it was a picture
Speaker 1: of Bob Saggett. That says you're cool, you're too cool.
Speaker 1: Love Bob Saggett, not to not to anyone. A great
Speaker 1: little frame picture of Bob. Second and it said catch
Speaker 1: and release and everyone and the thing is like he's dead,
Speaker 1: get it, this is so cool, like he died, like
Speaker 1: that's a that's probably not worth something or just, you know,
Speaker 1: worth something for the fact that it's him. And the
Speaker 1: guy goes it was five dollars. I don't have the
Speaker 1: money for that, and it really put things in perspective
Speaker 1: of like some people don't and everyone just goes it
Speaker 1: was five dollars. That is worth skipping a meal, whatever
Speaker 1: it's like. And the person was like, I'm here to
Speaker 1: like buy clothing for my children, I'm not buying a
Speaker 1: framed picture of Bob Saggett on the off chance that
Speaker 1: the person didn't even know he was dead. and Um,
Speaker 1: but it was it put in perspective of like you
Speaker 1: don't get to just you know. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: was like yesterday going from London to Boston. We were,
Speaker 1: you know, the the drive to the airport was supposed
Speaker 1: to be a half hour and it turned into it
Speaker 1: was a two hour. Two hours to get in traffic
Speaker 1: to the airport. I don't understand how you made your flights,
Speaker 1: because we left it enough time, like we got there
Speaker 1: an hour before our flight took off and we're able
Speaker 1: to check bags up to an hour before. I thank God.
Speaker 1: And it was dead. He throw was dead. But I
Speaker 1: was thinking, I said to Chris, it's fine because there
Speaker 1: are flights tomorrow out. I was looking, I could buy
Speaker 1: them and I go because I have money. But what
Speaker 1: the fuck? Your life is so there's no well, well,
Speaker 1: what if you save up for London and something happens
Speaker 1: where like you know there was an accident or the
Speaker 1: weather or something. It's like everyone's just and I used
Speaker 1: to feel this way too. Of like I remember I
Speaker 1: used to have a joke about looking at a box
Speaker 1: of Tampax pearls and being like, someday, when my ticket
Speaker 1: comes in, I can have pearls and really feeling that
Speaker 1: way and I think I can lose perspective sometimes, but
Speaker 1: I used to think the same thing about those glasses.
Speaker 1: So I'm not making you feel like a jerk about it,
Speaker 1: being like why doesn't everyone get them to see color?
Speaker 1: But six hundred dollars is a your kids. Now I
Speaker 1: feel better about myself. Okay, not the good ones. Color
Speaker 1: it pocular. You Gott you gotta Pay Next Hunder Bucks
Speaker 1: for Easelor you want to see at the rainbow, you
Speaker 1: can see gray. What color, if you could eliminate from
Speaker 1: your life, would you eliminate? If you had one color
Speaker 1: and like every kind of shade of that color, you
Speaker 1: have to get rid of. Right, Yellow, oh forsake you
Speaker 1: on you my special. How are I going to enjoy
Speaker 1: my er? Jimmy Kimmel, I'm just kidding. I liked it
Speaker 1: on your special. I don't know why I love. Just
Speaker 1: why didn't I say purple? No, no, no, I um purple.
Speaker 1: I think it's two pinkish and I love the color pink.
Speaker 1: I would get rid of blue. I think I would
Speaker 1: get rid of blue, even though the Sky Fuck Blues freewhere.
Speaker 1: You can't get rid of black and you can't get
Speaker 1: rid of grey. You can't get rid of Brown. You
Speaker 1: gotta get rid of like one of the orange. Orange,
Speaker 1: the sun sunsets. Okay, well, it's okay, we already decide
Speaker 1: we're getting rid of orange. All right. Next one is
Speaker 1: from Emma. Hi, pesties, it's Emma O, G fan here.
Speaker 1: Got To see you, Nikki and Andrew live in San
Speaker 1: Francisco this year and meet you guys, so that was
Speaker 1: really awesome. It was Aeso my birthday, so that was
Speaker 1: like the best birthday ever, and I corralled my friends
Speaker 1: to come with me, even how they had never listened,
Speaker 1: but they all loved it and had a great time.
Speaker 1: So that was really fun for me. When Nikky started
Speaker 1: read it jump last year she said forced Orgasms, but
Speaker 1: I heard it as forest orgasms, and so me, being intrigued,
Speaker 1: was like he's having orgasms and forest. That's interesting. So
Speaker 1: I download reddit and I'm scouring Reddit for this. Come
Speaker 1: to find out she said forced orgasms. So funny, misunderstanding,
Speaker 1: mispronunciation story. I love you guys. Jack, Black Jack, black,
Speaker 1: but that's so funny because for a while they took
Speaker 1: down forced orgasms on Reddit and that is my porn
Speaker 1: go to. If you want to see what I'm into,
Speaker 1: that's it and it's probably telling you too much. Not
Speaker 1: Kidding you. If you go to force orgasms right now,
Speaker 1: and this is this was recorded probably two weeks ago,
Speaker 1: if you scroll deep enough, you will see up on
Speaker 1: I just went there the other night. There is a
Speaker 1: woman tied to a tree in a forest and she
Speaker 1: made like a fantasy. She's like I was walking in
Speaker 1: a hike and this man tied me up and it
Speaker 1: was just, you know, she's doing a character. But there
Speaker 1: was a force orgasm, enforced orgasm Um, and it was weird.
Speaker 1: They forced orgasms disappeared from Reddit for a while. I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I think the word forced some times
Speaker 1: in Um Pornhob I don't think they allowed the word
Speaker 1: forced x videos. I don't think they allowed it. Hamster
Speaker 1: x hamster or whatever like. There's different porn sites that
Speaker 1: will allow the word force Um. So I think they
Speaker 1: took it down for a while and I was really sad,
Speaker 1: but now it's back up and it's all consentually forced.
Speaker 1: So it's cf Um, but it's it is forced orgasms.
Speaker 1: Is the name of the subreddit that I love very
Speaker 1: much and that girls are having a lot of time,
Speaker 1: good times and they're having a lot of force orgasms.
Speaker 1: That are the woods. Have you ever had tent sex
Speaker 1: wearing Abercrombie woods? It was on a hill, yes, all right, yeah,
Speaker 1: in in Memorial Park. Yeah, totally underwhelming. It's like the
Speaker 1: equivalent of beach sex or a hot tubs eleven forty,
Speaker 1: seven PM, but it was late at night. You were
Speaker 1: in a park. Scary to me. Yeah, it just felt stupid.
Speaker 1: I'm not what do you do? Gave I gave filatio
Speaker 1: in a park and like Um, in a city park. US.
Speaker 1: It was in Los Angeles and like Beverly Hills, I think.
Speaker 1: It was just like and we were talking and it
Speaker 1: was kind of like a fight, you know, Um, and
Speaker 1: then we made up and then it just started happening
Speaker 1: and I was like no, we can't, and he was
Speaker 1: just like, I think you're going to and I was
Speaker 1: like no, I can't, and and then it was just
Speaker 1: happening and it was just like it's, it's, it's it's
Speaker 1: thrilling because you can get arrested very easily and then charged.
Speaker 1: If it's near a school, you can like be a
Speaker 1: labeled a pedophile the rest of your life. Like that's
Speaker 1: The Times of things that you risk when you do that.
Speaker 1: So don't do that out there. Um, did you ever
Speaker 1: have four sex? Not with anyone self in a tree.
Speaker 1: I was curled up in the by himself and the
Speaker 1: tree falls. Ever happened? I don't know. I hope you
Speaker 1: in bigfoot. That's how you met that that that's how
Speaker 1: you met that fucking guy. That open for you, big foot.
Speaker 1: Do you know there there are people that believe bigfoot
Speaker 1: is reel? I was going to write a joke about
Speaker 1: it that I this guy was so hot one time
Speaker 1: and I liked him so much that I truly heard
Speaker 1: him out about bigfoot being real and started almost believing
Speaker 1: that's how this guy was. Yeah, I'm not kidding you.
Speaker 1: I was. When I found out me believed in Bigfoot,
Speaker 1: I was like, God damn it, why does this guy
Speaker 1: have to believe in bigfoot like this ruins everything, like
Speaker 1: I can't marry someone like my fantasy for our life.
Speaker 1: And then I got on board with big foot. I
Speaker 1: was like that's question about any about yeah, I learned
Speaker 1: a little bit about it. So how old is bigfoot?
Speaker 1: Has He had kids? Because at this point bigfoot is
Speaker 1: not just one big foot, I mean is a spe
Speaker 1: cheese that is on the human chain, like it's on
Speaker 1: the chimpanzee monkey chain of like humans that somewhere along
Speaker 1: the line it's stopped in the it's up in the
Speaker 1: Pacific northwest, among other places, and they've never been caught because, um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Um, it just doesn't fit with thee.
Speaker 1: I think they were in the audience. They're the biggest
Speaker 1: motherfucker's I've ever I really remember getting on board with it.
Speaker 1: This guy was very convincing and hot and it was
Speaker 1: just like such an example of how much a hot
Speaker 1: guy can make you just go yeah, I don't like
Speaker 1: my sister either and I don't think I want to
Speaker 1: talk to it, like just like completely abandon who you are. Um, alright,
Speaker 1: I think make you put a wig on and go
Speaker 1: do something. Do it anytime. Final, Sool okay, Um, let's
Speaker 1: let's do two more because I really want to share
Speaker 1: this when it's a very vulnerable story from Sophie. Vulnerable. Hello, friends,
Speaker 1: this is sophie from Sweden with a story about Orgasms,
Speaker 1: before knowing about orgasm. When listening to Nikki talk about
Speaker 1: not having orgasms before toys, I got thinking about my
Speaker 1: first story Yasm. I wasn't like nine or ten. It
Speaker 1: was somewhere at some kind of daycare type of place,
Speaker 1: the playground that this place had ropes hanging next to
Speaker 1: the swings men for climbing, like with knots on them.
Speaker 1: I was just hanging on this rope with my legs
Speaker 1: crossed when I started to feel good, and eventually it
Speaker 1: happened and I got terrified, though I remember running to
Speaker 1: the bathroom to check my underwear because it almost felt
Speaker 1: as if I had pissed my pants, and this eventually
Speaker 1: led to me using blankets for masturbating. I twirled them
Speaker 1: up like ropes, and I remember sometimes we had competitions
Speaker 1: to see who could hang on to a rope the longest,
Speaker 1: and there I was hanging on a rope having quiet
Speaker 1: orgasms in front of everyone. I've been my third dies
Speaker 1: and this is the first time I talk about this.
Speaker 1: Thank you for giving me a place to share. I
Speaker 1: love you all. I love you to ejaculate. I meant.
Speaker 1: I can not believe how sexy her voice was. I
Speaker 1: had chilled like my I have still have goose bumps
Speaker 1: from listening to how a SMR that was. That was
Speaker 1: a smr, but also sexy. I for I tried to
Speaker 1: black out how young you were during that story so
Speaker 1: I could enjoy it in a sexual way. Um, that
Speaker 1: was thank you so much for sharing that. I think
Speaker 1: so many people relate to humping blankets, humping ropes, humping Um,
Speaker 1: parallel bars, Um, and also not really under understanding each one.
Speaker 1: Give them equal opportunity. Don't leave one out. What about
Speaker 1: the uneven bars? Don't forget about you know, they come
Speaker 1: from a wrong side of town. Um, and a lot
Speaker 1: of people orgasm when they're hanging, like in grade school,
Speaker 1: and my best friend in grade school used to hang
Speaker 1: the closet with their belt around their neck. Wait, wait, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, she was saying she was hanging from a
Speaker 1: rope and she started. Yeah, like my best friend used
Speaker 1: to hang on a desk like suspend herself, you know,
Speaker 1: like like this. You can't understand what I'm saying. What
Speaker 1: I'm saying. No, like hang yourself from a desk, like
Speaker 1: what is keeping? Imagine your elbows are on the desk
Speaker 1: and you lean all your body weight forward and your
Speaker 1: legs the nothing. It's just the pressure and it builds up. Yes, well,
Speaker 1: I actually heard a technique, maybe on Reddit or somewhere,
Speaker 1: where leaning on things and hanging on them like you're saying,
Speaker 1: like leaning on a table, like putting all your weight
Speaker 1: forward and, Um, probably crossing your legs in a really
Speaker 1: intense way. is also would send you to that kind
Speaker 1: of place, but with ropes. Felt Great. I would climb
Speaker 1: a lot of ropes. Yeah, if it was, I would
Speaker 1: be up there a while. It's so fascinating. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was fantastic. I'll never forget, I mean I've said
Speaker 1: it before. I'll never forget Kirsten's front porch, waiting for
Speaker 1: my parents to come get me and we're just hanging out,
Speaker 1: like you know, hanging on the bars, like the railing,
Speaker 1: and there was a little like they're shaped like butt plugs,
Speaker 1: like the little markers at each end of it, and
Speaker 1: there was this one and I just like sat on
Speaker 1: top of it and it kind of hit my asshole
Speaker 1: a little bit and I remember just being like that
Speaker 1: feels so good, that there's something wrong with me, like
Speaker 1: I can't ever do that again. God is I don't
Speaker 1: even believe in God, but it felt too good and
Speaker 1: it's still I'm not kidding you, like I hope this doesn't.
Speaker 1: It could come back to on me. I'll stand by it.
Speaker 1: I enjoy that more than the other place, honestly, like
Speaker 1: it's a different feeling to me, but I am grateful
Speaker 1: that I have it because I do know what it
Speaker 1: feels like to have things in your vagina. It feels
Speaker 1: amazing and I can definitely, but it was like I
Speaker 1: knew at a young age where something there was something
Speaker 1: special about that other place that I was like, oh no,
Speaker 1: and I don't think at that age, I mean definitely
Speaker 1: at that age did not think anything would ever happen
Speaker 1: back there. That could, but I just knew, don't ever
Speaker 1: do that again. Nikki is wrong. It feels too good
Speaker 1: and I still feel that way about things that are
Speaker 1: a woman now, so it actually turns people on. I was, um,
Speaker 1: it's very young. I was sitting for my mom to
Speaker 1: come pick me up at my friend, Christens, and I
Speaker 1: was up age. So you can enjoy the start, but
Speaker 1: it's what you wanted to but if you're jerking off
Speaker 1: to this, it is fun and everything is legal. And
Speaker 1: so I climbed upon the banister and it increased my
Speaker 1: vessel and I just say, I was feeling things. It
Speaker 1: sounds like I'm making fun of her, but honestly I'm
Speaker 1: just trying to recreate I guaranteed she's laughing. They okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I hope she's not hurt, but it was. I would
Speaker 1: really hire her to make a SMR things. And if
Speaker 1: you're not doing that already, it was. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: literally feeling like I just wet my pants because of
Speaker 1: that story from her. I'm not getting you. It really
Speaker 1: turned me on in some weird way, but it also
Speaker 1: made me feel safe. I'm confused. Okay, let's get to
Speaker 1: the last. Okay, last Pan Trax is from Tom, who's
Speaker 1: in the UK and he needs some advice. Okay, Tom, hello, Nikki,
Speaker 1: Andrew and nineteen. I'm from the UK. Can I just
Speaker 1: say I've been a fan of yours, Nikki, since like
Speaker 1: I was fifteen, sixteen, which is probably way too young
Speaker 1: to be listening to what you were saying that I
Speaker 1: feel like it's helped me a lot. I've literally probably
Speaker 1: listened to every single podcast you've ever made. But Anyway,
Speaker 1: I'm in a bit of a dating predicament. So I'm nineteen,
Speaker 1: I'm gay. Never really been able to date before because
Speaker 1: I live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, but recently,
Speaker 1: because I've gone to university in a city, I've actually
Speaker 1: started dating guys, which is nice. I've found this worn
Speaker 1: guy with like a month in and I fully feel
Speaker 1: like I love him and it's just going great. I
Speaker 1: can see a serious relationship happening here. But there's a
Speaker 1: big but he's by and only ever had relationships with
Speaker 1: girls before and his last one lasted years and it
Speaker 1: was really serious and I just don't know what to
Speaker 1: think about it. All my friends are telling me to
Speaker 1: be cautious and be careful because he does say a
Speaker 1: bit flip floppy and I don't know really what to do.
Speaker 1: Guys take on it anyway. Thank you. UH, Tom, I'm
Speaker 1: guessing just because he's British sales like, he spells his
Speaker 1: name t h o m so tom Um. First of all,
Speaker 1: thank you for listening to everything. Of Don makes me
Speaker 1: feel so good and, Um, you just seem so sweet
Speaker 1: and I'm so excited that you're in your first relationship.
Speaker 1: I would say to people who think that bisexual people
Speaker 1: are more of a threat to your relationship or like
Speaker 1: becoming monogamous with them than maybe if they were fully gay,
Speaker 1: fully straight, is that people are like, well, you can't
Speaker 1: be a woman for him, so he's gonna need women. Well,
Speaker 1: you can't be every man for him either, so would
Speaker 1: he need every other man? So this whole argument that
Speaker 1: bisexual people are just like cannot be reined in, not
Speaker 1: one person will ever please them, is completely false and
Speaker 1: it is something that people project on you because of
Speaker 1: their own fears. Um. That being said, you are nineteen,
Speaker 1: it's your first love. Chances are this ain't it? I
Speaker 1: hate to say that to you because that is not
Speaker 1: what anyone wants to hear in their first love, but
Speaker 1: fucking treat it like it's it. Who Cares? Like? I
Speaker 1: think take this guy for what he's telling you, like
Speaker 1: if he's being squirrely, if you're feeling like confused, you
Speaker 1: know that's the classic thing. If you're confused, he's not
Speaker 1: that into you. If you're not confused, he is into you.
Speaker 1: So if you're feeling that. But, Um, I think voicing
Speaker 1: these kind of concerns to him would be good. I'm
Speaker 1: not sure if you're concerned is that he's bisexual or
Speaker 1: that he's just kind of a little bit squirrely anyway, Um,
Speaker 1: and I wonder if he's out to everyone in his
Speaker 1: life as a bisexual or if he's a man who's
Speaker 1: experimenting with his bisexuality and you're maybe the first, which
Speaker 1: could be tricky. But I'm so excited for you. Um,
Speaker 1: this is just the beginning of a lifetime of falling
Speaker 1: in love, maybe with this guy over and over, maybe with,
Speaker 1: you know, other people. But Um, I don't think you
Speaker 1: should shy away from dating by sexual men. I don't
Speaker 1: think it is a red flag on any thoughts. No,
Speaker 1: I think that's great advice. The only thing is, you know,
Speaker 1: when my friends are all telling me to be careful,
Speaker 1: I want to listen to that because I'm when I'm
Speaker 1: in love I tend to you know, it's destabilizing, it's exciting,
Speaker 1: but I'm trying to listen to my friends more and more.
Speaker 1: So that might be something to look out for. But
Speaker 1: all everything that he said is right on. Go for it, Andrew. No, uh,
Speaker 1: I think you should dump them move on with your life.
Speaker 1: You're in a city now, you don't have to be
Speaker 1: a farmer boy anymore. No, I think people find out bisexual,
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, he's gonna, he's gonna need that other
Speaker 1: thing that you can't give them, and it's just not true.
Speaker 1: I love the I love the the point out of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's also a million other guys that he could have
Speaker 1: but he chose to you, like it makes perfect sense.
Speaker 1: And Yeah, he sounds like an amazing human being who's
Speaker 1: like just like figuring out the city and he like
Speaker 1: grew up, like, you know, in the middle of nowhere,
Speaker 1: and so so you put so much pressure on it too.
Speaker 1: So don't put too much pressure on it. You could
Speaker 1: love them all you want, but just don't. Don't be
Speaker 1: easy on your on yourself in the relationship, like it's hard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's hard, though, like I never want to tell
Speaker 1: people in their twenties or teens like this isn't gonna
Speaker 1: list forever, like, because it probably isn't, like statistically, it
Speaker 1: just doesn't usually work that way, and you don't want
Speaker 1: to hear that. I don't want to hear that. Even
Speaker 1: when I was thirty five with guys that I knew
Speaker 1: would not be and my friends would be like this
Speaker 1: is fun for now, and I'd be like, how dare you,
Speaker 1: but just just be in the moment, because who knows,
Speaker 1: the world could end tomorrow and this would be your
Speaker 1: only guy, so just have fun. But Um, I think honesty,
Speaker 1: Ni I love it. Like, Nikki, you're dating guy, but
Speaker 1: he also loves himself too much. It's not like other ways.
Speaker 1: He also loves women too. It's like, no, he's he's what. What?
Speaker 1: I don't understand what you're saying. Like the idea of like, Oh,
Speaker 1: the guy, that's the guys that I've dated. I would
Speaker 1: prefer them to be bisexuals, a polly relationship with them
Speaker 1: and themselves. That does seem like if you want to
Speaker 1: be with me, you have to put up with the
Speaker 1: back that I'm always going to love myself more than
Speaker 1: you and when we faced off, I'll be looking at
Speaker 1: my own self and not see you even for a second,
Speaker 1: even though you are dyeing your eyebrows and they look
Speaker 1: like Gratcho marks and I didn't even notice the whole
Speaker 1: time we were on the phone. That really happened to
Speaker 1: me one time when I was talking about a long time.
Speaker 1: He didn't notice that my eyebrows were completely black groucho
Speaker 1: marks the entire time. I answered the phone going like hello,
Speaker 1: and he had an outer long conversation before he even
Speaker 1: looked at me because he was such a narcissist, which
Speaker 1: are don't we all stare at yourselves on this Um,
Speaker 1: that's a good question. Did he have his crouchows on?
Speaker 1: Thank you so much to everyone who wrote in, Uh
Speaker 1: and and talked. Yeah, it could have been. That's true too, Um.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. We will be back with more
Speaker 1: shows shortly, very shortly. I'm still recovering from surgery, but
Speaker 1: we'll figure it all out. I will have a different
Speaker 1: voice the next time you hear me, but not too different,
Speaker 1: and be back with the new today. Louis, October, October six,
Speaker 1: St Louis, Helio, come on out and come on. If
Speaker 1: you want to plan a trip to St Louis, come
Speaker 1: on down. Um, that'll be so fun. And I'll be
Speaker 1: on tour with Eric Hutchinson September. One longer sets. BOSTON,
Speaker 1: D C, Philly and New York City. Oh Fuck yes,
Speaker 1: Eric Hutchinson is amazing too. That's if you've never heard
Speaker 1: of him. Like, first of all, just go to see
Speaker 1: any and then you can leave, it doesn't matter. But like,
Speaker 1: definitely go support those shows. Um, a fun night out
Speaker 1: and Um, and I will be back on tour in October.
Speaker 1: Iowa is my first day. Get tickets now and then
Speaker 1: we are back on the road consistently. and Um, new
Speaker 1: tour dates coming out soon. Um, and, as always, will
Speaker 1: be here on the PODCAST, so check this out as well.
Speaker 1: I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Thank you for waiting for me to get healed again
Speaker 1: and being patient with one podcast a week. I love
Speaker 1: you so much. Thank you for the Fan Tex uh,
Speaker 1: don't be and Jack Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack Jack, Yea,