1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, It's Sophia. Welcome to Work in Progress. Welcome 2 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: back to Work in Progress friends. Today we are joined 3 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 1: by a television icon that I have literally loved for 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: my entire life. Don't worry, I'm going to play it cool. 5 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: Everything's going to be fine. Our guest today is none 6 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: other than the iconic Jenny Garth. For decades, she was 7 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,199 Speaker 1: frozen in time in all of our minds as Kelly Taylor, 8 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:40,199 Speaker 1: the confident, complicated icon at the center of the nineties 9 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,599 Speaker 1: coming of age series Beverly Hills nine O two and 10 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 1: l behind the camera, Jenny really struggled to navigate sudden 11 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: fame and complicated love and devastating loss, and has really 12 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: reflected on years of quietly losing herself in roles she 13 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: played on screen and how all that continued off screen. 14 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: I really know a thing or two about that. Today 15 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,759 Speaker 1: we're going to talk about how you start to find 16 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: yourself again, especially when you're ten years behind because you've 17 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: been in high school for longer than any other adult 18 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: on earth. I am thrilled that we are now sisters 19 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:22,200 Speaker 1: in the iHeart Podcast family. You can listen to her 20 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:25,680 Speaker 1: rewatch Pod nine O two one. OMG that she does 21 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: with Tori Spelling or her incredibly empowering podcast that I 22 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 1: know work in progress listeners will love called I Choose 23 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: Me Podcast. It's also the name of her revealing new 24 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: memoir where she revisits the moments that she once avoided, 25 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: and she does it with striking honesty and willingness to 26 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: self reflect and inspect in order to grow. And that's 27 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:59,080 Speaker 1: everything from heartbreak and hospitalization to identity and reinvention. And 28 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: this Saturday, she will be sharing the lessons she has 29 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: learned over the decades with fans at the IRL I 30 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: Choose Me Summit. But today she's here to take us 31 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: inside the stories, her memories and the wild ride of 32 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: her life. Let's dive in with Jenny. I have to 33 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: say this is so cool. I can't wait to send 34 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: my parents this episode because if you remember back in 35 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: the day going to Bush Studio on Highland in LA 36 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: to do press photos with Charles Bush, that's my dad 37 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 1: and the coolest thing that ever happened to me. 38 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 2: Should I remember? 39 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 1: Yes, Like in elementary school, I had a little flip 40 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: book like photo book, and I had polaroids from all 41 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,320 Speaker 1: you guys. He would take polaroids from your shoots and 42 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: you would sign polaroids for me, so I still have 43 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: them like in a bin in my garage. Yeah. 44 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 2: I love that. 45 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: This is my thirty years in the making. Thank you 46 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: for my. 47 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 2: Polaroids, your poloid collection. 48 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:22,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, so cool. I'm actually really curious for you because 49 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: I think you know anyone with a public life, but 50 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: certainly when you grow up as a teenager on TV, 51 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: people just I don't know, they think they know you 52 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: so much more intimately, maybe than people they meet on 53 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: screen in adulthood. And I'm curious about your actual childhood, 54 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: Like rewind ten years before nine o two and oh 55 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: before Beverly Hills High. What was your childhood like? You know, 56 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: I know you grew up in Illinois. I know you 57 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: grew up on a farm. Can you paint sort of 58 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: a picture of Jenny pre fame. 59 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 3: Well, it would have to start with a pink dirt bike, 60 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 3: hauffe eat or bike. 61 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 1: Shut up. 62 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, I rode that thing everywhere all we had We 63 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 3: lived on a farm, like in the middle of Cornfields, 64 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 3: and there were no stores, no restaurant, nothing around us 65 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 3: but corn and my parents were both teachers, so they 66 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 3: would drive into the town and teach people and then 67 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:25,720 Speaker 3: they'd come home and we would have this like idyllic 68 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 3: farm life out there, just me and my have siblings 69 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 3: and my mom and dad and just it was full 70 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 3: of like animals. And we lived on a cemetery. Like 71 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 3: our land had a cemetery, like an amusement that the 72 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 3: cemetery was kind of in the middle of it. It 73 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 3: had this beautiful little picket fence around it, and I 74 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 3: used to go in there and like just talk to 75 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,680 Speaker 3: the dead people and just like sit with them. And 76 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 3: I just remember that so fondly. It's just like the 77 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 3: most grounded feeling in the world of being like sitting 78 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,359 Speaker 3: there with all these gorgeous historic gravestones. And I was 79 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 3: just thinking about that today because I'm in Pennsylvania and 80 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 3: there's cemeteries everywhere everywhere. Yeah, yeah, just I don't know, 81 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 3: it gives me a sense of peace. 82 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 2: I don't know why that is, wow, But we had 83 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 2: a good time. 84 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 1: That's so interesting. I was thinking about that recently. I 85 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: spent a weekend in upstate New York and we were 86 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,440 Speaker 1: driving down this beautiful two lane highway and I was 87 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:28,359 Speaker 1: noticing in so many of the farms. Yeah, you know, 88 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: there's these grazing pastures and then a little fence. That's 89 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,279 Speaker 1: what we had edge, Yeah, around. 90 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 3: That family and all their lineage would all be in 91 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 3: that burial ground. 92 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:43,239 Speaker 1: And what a crazy thing to think, you know, before 93 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: I don't know cell phones and YouTube and cartoons like that, 94 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 1: you could just be a kid with an imagination wondering 95 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: who lived there before you, Yeah. 96 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 3: Wondering what the life of was like that the person 97 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 3: I was sitting next to, you know, on the ground 98 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,919 Speaker 3: and just being flowers. And I just always had like 99 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 3: a dog or a horse trailing me. And it was 100 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 3: just the most like incredible free childhood. I really am 101 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 3: so lucky. 102 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 1: I love that. So how do you go from girl 103 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: on a farm with you know, your animals and your 104 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 1: dearly deceased neighbors to being spotted for acting like what happened? 105 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,359 Speaker 3: Oh gosh, Well, my dad his health was not great. 106 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 3: He was suffering from heart disease. So he had a 107 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 3: heart attack and the doctors recommended that he moved to 108 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,040 Speaker 3: a drier climate. So we moved from there to Arizona. 109 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,479 Speaker 3: And I was a teenager at this point, so and 110 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,159 Speaker 3: I was teaching dance class at the little dance shop 111 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 3: on the corner in our neighborhood, teaching like little girls 112 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 3: how to tap dance, and somebody asked me to be 113 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,360 Speaker 3: in a pageant, like a scholarship pageant, and I thought, okay, yeah, 114 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,679 Speaker 3: I can get a scholarship. That amazing because we didn't 115 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 3: have a lot of money. And the weirdest thing happened 116 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:10,440 Speaker 3: there still to this day, manager Randy James. 117 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 2: He discovered me there. 118 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 3: He was there to be a guest judge as a 119 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 3: favor to a friend of his, and his wife was 120 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 3: with him and she said, you need to talk to 121 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 3: that girl. I think I see something in her. So 122 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 3: they approached me, gave me his car, and it was 123 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,080 Speaker 3: a little weird, and I was like, you guys are creepy. 124 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 3: But it ended up being like I went back to 125 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 3: I went back home, started like taking acting class and 126 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 3: would send him my videotapes of my progress and my 127 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 3: acting class. And one day he was like, I think 128 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 3: you're ready, just let me know when you come over. 129 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 3: My mom and I packed up and we drove to California. 130 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 1: Wow. So what was it like landing there? I mean, 131 00:07:55,600 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: I think back to we still had pilot season, and 132 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: you know, there was sort of a rhythm to the 133 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: industry at that time. Did you move out for pilot season? 134 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 3: I think, yeah, I think that's what it was, and 135 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 3: I went up. I did go for a couple of 136 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 3: other pilots and then it came down to two of 137 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 3: them that I had had to give an answer on one, 138 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 3: and one of them was Kenny ortegas a pilot. He 139 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 3: did and it was kind of like high school musical 140 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 3: before high school musical. 141 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: Oh wow. 142 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 3: And then or I had the opportunity to go in 143 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 3: for an audition for the Aaron Spelling Show, and I 144 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 3: was like, I really would love the opportunity to read 145 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 3: for an Aaron Spelling show because I just loved, you know, 146 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,320 Speaker 3: the love Boat and all of his stuff. So they 147 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 3: didn't want to see me. But my manager was friends 148 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 3: from his ABC casting days with the casting director for Aaron, 149 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 3: and he got me in that room somehow, and somehow 150 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 3: I got the role right there. 151 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, So. 152 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 3: I just happened like I never and I never wanted 153 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,720 Speaker 3: to be an actress. I was never like yearning to 154 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 3: be in the theater or anything like. I never dreamt 155 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 3: of being famous. Nobody and my family is famous, ever, 156 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 3: and so this was just like, why not, let's try 157 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,680 Speaker 3: it and see what happens, and you never know. 158 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: I totally get it. It's crazy. It's like people ask 159 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 1: me about it and I say, no, I thought I 160 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 1: was going to be a sergeant. Like life just took 161 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,959 Speaker 1: a left turn and I'm still going left. I don't 162 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,559 Speaker 1: know here we are then, Yeah. 163 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 3: You can't really take a back that right once you 164 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 3: got to wear Yeah. 165 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. What was it like when you first stepped onto 166 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: the set? I mean, do you remember your first day 167 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: going to work? Was it cool? Overwhelming? Did you feel 168 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: like you had no idea what was going on? Maybe 169 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 1: a jumble of all those things for sure. 170 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,839 Speaker 3: I mean the first time I met the rest of 171 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 3: the cast was at Aaron's house in his living room. 172 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,679 Speaker 1: Where that big crazy house in Beverly Hills. 173 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, oh it was before the house 174 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 3: before that. Oh oh yeah, I think it was like 175 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 3: a sunken living room, really big room, and like trays 176 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 3: and bowls full of cigarettes. 177 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 2: For anybody who wanted it. And I was like, oh 178 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,199 Speaker 2: my god, you can smoke in here. 179 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 3: And we all sat down and read through the script 180 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 3: together and that's where we kind of like timidly met 181 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 3: each other, and then it was we went to to 182 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 3: shoot the pilot and we you know, we're in our 183 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:26,719 Speaker 3: little honey wagons together side by side, and it was just, 184 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 3: you know, the most just like a very authentic beginning 185 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 3: to something that would end up being so big. 186 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you couldn't have known. 187 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 2: No, I had no idea what I was even doing. 188 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 1: Like did you have to did you have to figure 189 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: out like, oh, there's this space between rolling and action 190 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,680 Speaker 1: and what's a mark? And how do I find my light? 191 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 2: And yeah, well I had done. 192 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 3: My first job was my first job was on Growing Pains. 193 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 3: That was the first, oh, of course, and I was 194 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 3: in the car. I had one scene and I had 195 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,440 Speaker 3: one line that it consisted of three words and they 196 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 3: were all the same word. 197 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 2: It was sticky, sticky, sticky. That was what I said. 198 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 3: I don't even know why I would say that, but 199 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 3: that was my first job. And then I went from 200 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 3: there to star as Barbara Eden's daughter in a show 201 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 3: we different NBC and it only lasted six episodes, I think, 202 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,560 Speaker 3: but that is where I learned the business, just by 203 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 3: watching her and observing her like a stalker. I was 204 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 3: just like a sponge wanting to like absorb all of 205 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 3: her mannerisms for professionalism. I just really learned like she 206 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,200 Speaker 3: I always attribute her to like teaching me how to 207 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 3: be a pro. 208 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: I mean, what a masterclass to go to work with 209 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: someone like her. 210 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, and everybody loved her and she just the way 211 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 3: she treated everyone. 212 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,440 Speaker 2: It just made me feel like, oh, I can do this, 213 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:57,960 Speaker 2: Like I see myself and her. 214 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so shall Yeah. I think having that kind 215 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 1: of behind the scenes experience must have been so grounding 216 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 1: for you, especially when you know, mostly you do a 217 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 1: high school show. Everybody's young, you're figuring it out. You 218 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 1: don't often have people to look up to. So what 219 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 1: a cool thing that you had that under your belt 220 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: when you got started. 221 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,880 Speaker 3: I was lucky because she taught me what a mark was. 222 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 3: She taught me, you know, how to behave on said 223 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 3: and be respectful and be perfessional on time. And you know, 224 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 3: I would not be where I am today without Barbara. 225 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting. When I was reflecting on this recently, 226 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: someone was asking me, you know, when did you become 227 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,680 Speaker 1: such a ride or die for the crew? You know, 228 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: how why has that always been your thing? And I 229 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 1: was trying to figure it out and it sort of 230 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: dawned on me. Oh, I worked in my dad's studio 231 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: every summer, and as I got older, you know, sometimes 232 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 1: after school too, and I was I was a you know, 233 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 1: I was basically a PA. 234 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,960 Speaker 2: I work on the ground level. 235 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:11,760 Speaker 1: There's yeah, yeah, and I and I I don't think 236 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: I realized what a valuable lesson it was to be 237 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: kind of a fly on the wall in that way, 238 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,560 Speaker 1: and to your point, to watch the Barbara Edens who 239 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: were classy and iconic and wonderful, and to see people 240 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:28,440 Speaker 1: who weren't and go ooh, I don't want to be 241 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:31,560 Speaker 1: that God got it, got it, got it, got it. 242 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 3: And I just have, like, you know, my family was 243 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 3: always by my side, and I have just like a 244 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 3: pretty strong moral compass when you know, I was raised 245 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 3: in the Midwest, and so it was very eye opening 246 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,079 Speaker 3: everything that I was seeing and being exposed to. And yeah, 247 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 3: I was just kind of trying to figure my way out, 248 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 3: you know, I didn't I didn't know how to manage 249 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 3: all that. 250 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 1: Yeah wow. 251 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 3: But always so like grateful for all the people that 252 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 3: worked there, and you know, put so much time and 253 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:08,680 Speaker 3: effort into every thing. I was always better friends probably 254 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,720 Speaker 3: with the crew than you know, hanging out with the cast. 255 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 1: I get that. It's also really cool, I don't know, 256 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: getting ready for today. I went back and read through 257 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 1: like a bunch of interviews and things, and it's an 258 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: insane thing to have lived through a version of what 259 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: we have, and yours was in a whole other stratosphere 260 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 1: to ours, and ours was overwhelming to me. So I 261 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: can't even imagine for you. But you reflect so sweetly 262 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: on everyone you know. You talk about how the Cast 263 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: was a makeshift family, and like, I've watched your eyes 264 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: light up. Now, what a creepy thing to say, but 265 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 1: I don't mean it in a creepy way, like when 266 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: you talk about how Luke Harry was your first love. 267 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: And I don't know, is do you think that maybe 268 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: with time you just really get to hold on to 269 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: all the good and all thetalgia And I love it. 270 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's that case with so many things 271 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,920 Speaker 3: in life, like even my mom, losing my dad and 272 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 3: only remembering the good parts, you know, and just carrying 273 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 3: that forward. And yeah, there was a lot of weird things, 274 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 3: a lot of very hard to handle situations, and a 275 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:27,359 Speaker 3: lot of you know, personality clashing and just I didn't 276 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,720 Speaker 3: know any way to deal with that other than the 277 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 3: way I was raised and I spent I did kind 278 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 3: of like kind of keep to myself a lot more 279 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 3: than you know, probably other people. But that's just what 280 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 3: I needed to get through it because it was just 281 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 3: unchartered territory. 282 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, and now a word from our sponsors, who make 283 00:15:47,280 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 1: the show possible. You know, we said something earlier before 284 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 1: we had taken our dive into the episode, but that 285 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,240 Speaker 1: you know, now you can reflect on dynamics, especially among 286 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: the women, in different ways, and I think a lot 287 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,480 Speaker 1: about that. I mean, I don't know the behind the 288 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: scenes of your show, but I certainly know on ours. 289 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,680 Speaker 1: Like our bosses did not want the girls to be friends. 290 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: They did a lot of work to make us distrustful 291 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 1: of each other. It took us a lot of years 292 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: and a lot of work to iron through that, to go, 293 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: you know, to go from being more than like acquaintances 294 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: who liked hanging out sometimes at work but were scared 295 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 1: to being real friends. And the industry frankly, was so 296 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 1: terrible to women. You know, what was that like for you? Girls? 297 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 1: Was was there any help for you navigating your relationships 298 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 1: or were you also so nervous to rock the boat 299 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 1: of the show that you never really wanted to dive 300 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: too deep into those things. 301 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 3: Well, it was hard because there was nobody there to 302 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:07,080 Speaker 3: guide us. There was nobody there to like bring things 303 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,000 Speaker 3: down a notch. You know, everybody loved when things got 304 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,480 Speaker 3: elevated things when there was conflict, everybody was more interested 305 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 3: in the story, you know, And so yeah, they would 306 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 3: definitely rather us not get along than get along. And 307 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,080 Speaker 3: you know, the writing pitted us against one another, specifically 308 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 3: myself and Shanna Brenda, the character of Brenda. Kelly and 309 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 3: Brenda were always you know. 310 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,439 Speaker 1: I mean and iconic fights on screen, but I know 311 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 1: how hard that can be off screen. 312 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,399 Speaker 3: We were probably having a good time when we were 313 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 3: fighting on screen. It was really confusing for us. But 314 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 3: as young women, and both of she and I are 315 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 3: both aris very strong, independent ladies, and you know, when 316 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:54,200 Speaker 3: we weren't trying to clash our horns together, we were 317 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:58,160 Speaker 3: actually loving being around each other and like we got 318 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 3: each other on a different level. So I you know, 319 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 3: it doesn't matter whatever happened then, I know that, Like 320 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,320 Speaker 3: you just kind of think, Wow, I was so young, 321 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 3: I didn't know how to navigate that and neither did 322 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,160 Speaker 3: that person. So there's a lot of like forgiveness in 323 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,440 Speaker 3: that for me, not just for them, but for myself too, 324 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 3: because I know there were times when I could have 325 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,520 Speaker 3: showed up a better version of myself. I just didn't 326 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 3: know that version yet. 327 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:29,679 Speaker 1: Yeah. Oh, that's such a crazy part of it though. 328 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 1: I think having such a public life when you're young 329 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: in a weird way. People love when you mess up, 330 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,760 Speaker 1: but then they also judge you for messing up. And 331 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,879 Speaker 1: You're sitting there going, I don't have any of this 332 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: figured out yet. No one my age does, and I'm 333 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 1: trying to figure it out with a million eyeballs on me. 334 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 1: It's confusing, Like how do you feel like you started 335 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 1: to make sense of that? Because you know, you write 336 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,200 Speaker 1: about it so beautifully in your book, you know, chapter four, 337 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,879 Speaker 1: Oh my god, sobbed through the whole thing in a 338 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,919 Speaker 1: good way. I was just like, oh, I feel this 339 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,919 Speaker 1: in my bones. Oh good. But I think it's so 340 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 1: special when you can look back and really unpack things, 341 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,600 Speaker 1: and when you choose to be so generous with your 342 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: audience and tell your story so maybe other people can 343 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 1: see themselves. But like, when did that journey start? Was 344 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: it becoming a mom because you did that young, or 345 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: or was it like a moment into motherhood where you 346 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:30,919 Speaker 1: were like, hang on, I got to go back and 347 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 1: pull these threads apart so I can do something else. 348 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 3: I think I survived it by not partying. I would 349 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,199 Speaker 3: go be with my parents. I had bought them a 350 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:46,440 Speaker 3: place up north in Santa Barbara, and so we kind 351 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 3: of recreated our farm life up there, and I got 352 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 3: horses and trucks and all that. You know, that was 353 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,119 Speaker 3: like how I spent my money. And I would go 354 00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 3: up there every weekend. And then I had a baby 355 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:03,040 Speaker 3: year Yah, when I was twenty three or four, I 356 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:07,159 Speaker 3: was pregnant. I was not married, but I was like, 357 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 3: I know, I'm supposed to have this baby, so I'm 358 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:14,600 Speaker 3: absolutely going to have this baby. And that was the 359 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 3: best thing I ever did. That was the best decision 360 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 3: of my life because it took off like the it's 361 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,200 Speaker 3: it took off like my attention that I would normally 362 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,360 Speaker 3: be placing on myself. 363 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 2: And you know, we get as actors. I think we are. 364 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 3: People often associate us with being like self centered or 365 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 3: self focused, and it's hard not to be because we 366 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 3: are our business like so of course we're going to 367 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 3: focus on like getting the next job or being the 368 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 3: best that we can or whatever. But at that time 369 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 3: I was so lucky to have something else to focus 370 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 3: my energy on and always like running right back to 371 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 3: my trailer to be with her and getting her home, 372 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,880 Speaker 3: you know, just' she saved my life probably like honestly 373 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 3: having having Luca. 374 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: Wow, that's really cool. 375 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 3: And it wasn't until later, like because then I got 376 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 3: wound up in being a mom and I had another baby, 377 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 3: and then I had another baby, and so I spent 378 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:16,240 Speaker 3: like all of my twenties and thirties having children or 379 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 3: raising them, figuring out how to raise them. Yeah, and 380 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,480 Speaker 3: that was all consuming. But then it was when I 381 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:26,439 Speaker 3: was in my forties I got a divorce. I was 382 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 3: forced to sort of take a look at myself outside 383 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:36,400 Speaker 3: of my girls, outside of being this perfect family, and 384 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,399 Speaker 3: that all kind of got stripped away. And while it 385 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:46,359 Speaker 3: was really incredibly painful, I guess it really got me 386 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 3: to where I am now, Like the lessons that I learned, 387 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 3: and you know the feeling of I can handle this 388 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,440 Speaker 3: without that because I'm my own person. 389 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's yeah, it's been a long journey though. 390 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's interesting because what I hear you talking 391 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 1: about is the immense pressure of having a role so young, 392 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 1: and then you had two roles, and then that motherhood 393 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: role is the one that took over. Yes, of course 394 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:21,280 Speaker 1: your career is going, but I hear you on the 395 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 1: actors have to focus on themselves. But actually, I think 396 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: when you start really working as an actor, you are 397 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,280 Speaker 1: put in the role of breadwinner, and you're expected to 398 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 1: be every other role when you're the woman in that role, 399 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:38,119 Speaker 1: you know, and so you're spinning so many plates. It 400 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 1: can be so hard to have a moment for yourself, 401 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,480 Speaker 1: and everyone assumes you're self obsessed. So you're like, I 402 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:48,480 Speaker 1: better never say anything about my needs because they'll think 403 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,880 Speaker 1: it's true, or complain. Oh never, you. 404 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,760 Speaker 3: Can't complain because then people have a different perception of 405 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,359 Speaker 3: you that's not a good one. You want people to 406 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 3: like you. You want it was kind of like that 407 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,720 Speaker 3: pigmy culture. I was thinking about this morning, Like you 408 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 3: wanted to be picked, you wanted to be cast, you 409 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 3: wanted to be selected over the others, you know, just 410 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 3: because that's what we thought. I thought what I was 411 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:15,680 Speaker 3: supposed to do, and I never really thought anything through. 412 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 3: I never like planned for things. My life just kept 413 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,639 Speaker 3: happening and happening and happening and happening. Yes, So I 414 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,639 Speaker 3: was just I felt like I was always like just 415 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 3: trying to keep my head above water. 416 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,439 Speaker 1: Honestly, Oh, I know that feeling. 417 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:33,479 Speaker 2: Yeah, just being like being famous at such a young age. 418 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,880 Speaker 2: I mean, it did some some. 419 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 3: Crazy things to my mind, I think, and I'm just like, 420 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,240 Speaker 3: at this stage in my life, it's been so just 421 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 3: free to be able to go back and kind of 422 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,679 Speaker 3: dissect all of that and find the places where I 423 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 3: was showing up in alignment with who I really am, 424 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,680 Speaker 3: and then also find the places where I didn't show 425 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 3: up like that, and places where I needed to stop 426 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,399 Speaker 3: pointing the finger and start pulling the thumb. You know. 427 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 1: Uh huh, oh, I love that. That's such a good phrase. 428 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,959 Speaker 1: Do you think the things you write about in that 429 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:15,840 Speaker 1: fourth chapter, doing that reflection, pointing it back at yourself 430 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: asking for help, was that really? I know? You? You 431 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 1: know you write about it in a sense like it's 432 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 1: a breaking point, but it also sounds like it's a 433 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 1: breakthrough point. Yeah, And do you feel like in a 434 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,880 Speaker 1: way you healed in that moment, but also like everything 435 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 1: that came before it. 436 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 3: I feel like I was not healed from everything before 437 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 3: it at that time. You know what they always say, 438 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,159 Speaker 3: what doesn't break us makes us or is that what 439 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 3: they say? 440 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: Well, they say what doesn't kill you makes you strong, 441 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,199 Speaker 1: And I'm like, sometimes what doesn't kill you was just 442 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,919 Speaker 1: really fucking hard. Okay, Like stop trying to make it 443 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 1: seem like it was good for me. 444 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,360 Speaker 3: And you you you know, you have to always look 445 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,199 Speaker 3: like you've got your shit together, and like, yeah know, 446 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 3: And I spent a lot of time just basically hiding, 447 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:11,440 Speaker 3: hiding behind my girls, behind my marriage, and not. 448 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 2: Worrying, not being self reflective. 449 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:20,119 Speaker 3: And I enjoyed that time quite honestly because it was oblivion. 450 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 3: But then once the girls got older and they you know, 451 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 3: like started having their own lives and being so independent, 452 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,480 Speaker 3: that was my time in my early forties to start 453 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 3: really kind of being introspective and looking at all the 454 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 3: things a. 455 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:38,639 Speaker 2: Little bit more deeply. 456 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: That's really cool. 457 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:44,879 Speaker 3: But definitely, like when you say, going, like when something 458 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 3: feels like it's breaking us, it's really just opening us 459 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:52,199 Speaker 3: up for some incredible learning and growth and like opening 460 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 3: the door to whatever's next. So totally I've really come 461 00:25:56,119 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 3: to appreciate when something doesn't work out. I'm always so 462 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,440 Speaker 3: I wonder what is going to work out? Like what 463 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 3: is this nogent? How is this going to turn into 464 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 3: a yes for something else? 465 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,639 Speaker 1: Yes? Well, it's interesting. I hit my tongue when you 466 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,679 Speaker 1: were talking about that moment. You said, I went through this, 467 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,160 Speaker 1: and I went through that, and I got a divorce. 468 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 1: And I was about to be like congratulations, because, in 469 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:21,440 Speaker 1: an interesting way, like having been through it, having been 470 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 1: on that hamster wheel, trying to keep my head above water, 471 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,760 Speaker 1: I did all the things I thought I was supposed 472 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:32,520 Speaker 1: to do, and at forty I was like, wait, this 473 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,800 Speaker 1: can't be it right, Like what do you mean? What 474 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 1: do you mean there's no wizard? Like what's behind the door? 475 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:43,640 Speaker 1: And I think what it really taught me was the 476 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,359 Speaker 1: bravery that is required to make that choice in a 477 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 1: world that tells you you're you shouldn't, especially if you're 478 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: forty or beyond. And now when I'm with women, if 479 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 1: people are like I'm getting married, I'm like congratulations. And 480 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 1: if they're like I'm getting a divorce, I'm like congratually. 481 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 3: I know, because it's just it's opening you up for 482 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:05,639 Speaker 3: whatever's next. 483 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,120 Speaker 2: And that's the best thing. 484 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,920 Speaker 3: Like the phases of our lives, like they really do. 485 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,919 Speaker 3: The artist is so significant, you know, and it's just 486 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 3: about growing and then looking for that next moment that's 487 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 3: going to lead you to the next moment. I always 488 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,960 Speaker 3: kind of, like I said, things always happened, you know, 489 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 3: in my life, and I never really planned anything out. 490 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,760 Speaker 3: And I survived that way for a really long time, 491 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,199 Speaker 3: and I thought, oh, this is how life is supposed 492 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 3: to be. It's supposed to be fine, you know, the 493 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 3: seat of my pants and like trying to you know, 494 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 3: keep up. But when I was able to slow down 495 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 3: a little and like give myself some thought and I 496 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 3: kind of assess where I had come from, where I 497 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 3: had been, what what parts of my life felt good, 498 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:54,440 Speaker 3: what parts of my. 499 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:55,400 Speaker 2: Life didn't feel good. 500 00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,680 Speaker 3: And then that that sort of like kind of percolates, 501 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 3: and you know, you learn so much about yourself when 502 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:07,520 Speaker 3: you give yourself that opportunity to sit with things. And 503 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 3: like when you write a book, you gotta go back 504 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:14,720 Speaker 3: and really think about like how you handled certain situations. 505 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 3: And then I think in doing that that the you know, 506 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:22,240 Speaker 3: you kind of create this roadmap of how you've survived 507 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,720 Speaker 3: and you look at it and you think, well, I 508 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,360 Speaker 3: don't have a roadmap for what's next, So I get 509 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,560 Speaker 3: to make it up as I get to I get 510 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 3: to decide, I get to choose what I want and 511 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,720 Speaker 3: that and then go drive towards that. 512 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,200 Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, you get to design it, you get 513 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 1: to claim it for the first time. 514 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 3: That's what it felt like. I had never had that 515 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 3: chance to make any of my own choices. 516 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious how you think about And I don't 517 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 1: mean in the like I want to roll my eyes, 518 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:59,360 Speaker 1: you know, women's magazine, clickbait, whatever version, but like true 519 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 1: self care, you know, because you you write about treatment, 520 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:10,400 Speaker 1: you write about introspection, You've you've talked about even ways 521 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: that you've shifted, you know, your diet. I think about 522 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 1: how we relate to ourselves, how we evolve to make 523 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 1: those choices, to travel those new roads, to to be 524 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,680 Speaker 1: kind to our bodies. You know, what does that feel 525 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: like for you? Does it feel like a practice? Does 526 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 1: it feel like a relationship with yourself? 527 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 3: It does, Actually it feels like it's corny, But it 528 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:45,960 Speaker 3: feels like me choosing me, you know, and not being 529 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 3: not carrying around shame that I used to carry or 530 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:55,000 Speaker 3: feel self centered in choosing myself like I would have before. 531 00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 3: Now I have this new like love affair with myself, 532 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 3: whether it's my inner child, the little Jenny that's you know, 533 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,479 Speaker 3: still in there needing to have her handheld sometimes and 534 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 3: just kind of be held, or it's like my appreciation 535 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 3: for what I've been through and I think, Wow, look 536 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 3: at what you've done, look at what you've survived. Look 537 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,760 Speaker 3: and yeah, look at the places where you didn't show 538 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 3: up as your best self. And I just have like 539 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 3: a new fan love for that person that's endured all that, and. 540 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,200 Speaker 2: Also just a respect for her. 541 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 3: And I want, I want to take care of her 542 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 3: moving forward because I don't know, you know, I write 543 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 3: about it in the book. 544 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:45,000 Speaker 2: But like that Taylor Swift song gets. 545 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 3: Me every time when she says you're on your own, kid, 546 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 3: you always have been, and even know what song it's from, 547 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,479 Speaker 3: but that made me think, like, you know what, I 548 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,680 Speaker 3: am on my own. We are all on our own. 549 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,080 Speaker 3: We're born alone, we die alone. And yes we have 550 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,680 Speaker 3: we formed these relationships and these you know, bubbles of 551 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:09,320 Speaker 3: comfort with people that we love. But I'm all I've got, 552 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,239 Speaker 3: you know, at the end of the day, I'm the 553 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:17,240 Speaker 3: only one that can make myself feel better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 554 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 3: there's something so yummy and like powerful about that. 555 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, And I love that you chose the title. 556 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:30,719 Speaker 1: I choose me because it's so honest and everything that 557 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:34,880 Speaker 1: I think women deserve to feel. And you know, as 558 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,520 Speaker 1: a girl who's come to really go back and love 559 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,479 Speaker 1: the person she played in her first TV show, I 560 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: love that. It's a phrase from a Nino tu Ando storyline, 561 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 1: Like it just feels so full circle it is. 562 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 3: It's crazy, Like I did not see this coming. I 563 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,760 Speaker 3: couldn't have written this script, you know, And I never 564 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,520 Speaker 3: ever thought this is where I would find myself. But 565 00:31:55,640 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 3: I found it just by being self away. I stopped 566 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 3: being self indulgent, and I started just being open to 567 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:12,680 Speaker 3: what came towards me and also the choices that I made, 568 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 3: you know, I started becoming more intentional along that journey 569 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,479 Speaker 3: instead of just sort of being led around. 570 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,800 Speaker 1: I love that. And now a word from our sponsors, 571 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 1: when did it feel like it stopped being a line 572 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: and started being a decision? And for our friends at home, 573 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 1: you might need to be reminded that it's such an 574 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,880 Speaker 1: iconic moment. Brandon and Dylan give you an ultimatum about 575 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 1: who which one of them you want to be with? 576 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 1: And yes, that absolutely influenced me as a kid watching 577 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: the show, you saying I choose me. 578 00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 3: I think that's so cool that I got to say 579 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,480 Speaker 3: it first of all, and that you got to say 580 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 3: it then between the two like hunkiest guys on TV 581 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 3: like yes, but and it was so significant And I 582 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,920 Speaker 3: know that a lot I've heard this and this is 583 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 3: probably what I know. This is what inspired me to 584 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:18,400 Speaker 3: go back to this line is when I heard people. 585 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,800 Speaker 3: I would meet fans of the show that I've grown 586 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 3: up with basically, and they would say to me, that's 587 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,680 Speaker 3: the moment when my life changed. When I heard Kelly 588 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 3: tell me that it was okay for me to choose myself. 589 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:30,680 Speaker 1: And I. 590 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 3: Started just being really proud of that and like being 591 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 3: you know, the calm do it for that message for them, 592 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 3: and I thought, I people still need to do that. 593 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,800 Speaker 3: I need to hear that, and so I needed to 594 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 3: bring it back to life. And at the same time 595 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:49,360 Speaker 3: I was doing that, I was really searching for, like, 596 00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:54,760 Speaker 3: what is my purpose here. I've been an actress, I'm famous, whatever, 597 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:57,240 Speaker 3: I've done all those things, I've been a mom, the 598 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 3: best mom I could be. I, you know, try to 599 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 3: be in relations to healthy relationships. It hasn't gone well, 600 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 3: but I'm open to doing it again. And I was like, 601 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,000 Speaker 3: what do I but what do I want? You know, like, 602 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,479 Speaker 3: what's my you know that purpose Driven, Purpose Driven Life? 603 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 2: That book? 604 00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 3: Someone gave it to me and I couldn't even read 605 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 3: it because I was so intimidated by other people knowing 606 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,520 Speaker 3: their purpose and I couldn't figure out mine. And so 607 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 3: I just was like, maybe I don't have one. Maybe 608 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,719 Speaker 3: this is my purpose, but being a mom amazing. 609 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,279 Speaker 2: I'm good with that. 610 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 3: I feel like I have done a really good job 611 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:38,479 Speaker 3: fulfilling my purpose, but I kind of felt like there's 612 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 3: more I have more to give. I know that I'm 613 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,560 Speaker 3: meant to make people feel better, to teach them things 614 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 3: about themselves, and I can only do that by sharing 615 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 3: my journey with them and sharing with them the things 616 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:55,319 Speaker 3: that I've learned along the way. 617 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 2: Because I have really spent a good. 618 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,239 Speaker 3: I mean at least ten years really really digging in 619 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:06,319 Speaker 3: and doing like the important work to just kind of 620 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,000 Speaker 3: like figure out who I am. 621 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:10,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, any way I want to be? 622 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,799 Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's been That's the most this is the 623 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:18,800 Speaker 3: most fulfilling work I've ever done is by encouraging others 624 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,839 Speaker 3: to do the same thing, however it works for them, 625 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 3: but just to like love themselves enough to take care 626 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,719 Speaker 3: of themselves in a completely new way. 627 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:36,279 Speaker 1: Mm. The big aha for me, you know, similarly to 628 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,280 Speaker 1: you being like, oh, maybe being a mom is my purpose? 629 00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,160 Speaker 1: You know, it's it's there's so much giving that comes 630 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 1: with that. And the big aha moment when I went, uh, oh, 631 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 1: I don't think I I don't think this is actually 632 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:55,840 Speaker 1: what's meant for me this life, I've felt one of 633 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,239 Speaker 1: my best friends looked at me and said, you your 634 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,240 Speaker 1: mission on earth is to stand up for other people, 635 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:07,120 Speaker 1: to love other people through emotion and through justice. You 636 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,400 Speaker 1: are an advocate through and through. When are you going 637 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 1: to start advocating for yourself the way you advocate for strangers? 638 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 1: And it knocked the wind out of me because I 639 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I will study I will study up 640 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:28,880 Speaker 1: on how policy has affected water access in a community 641 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,600 Speaker 1: I don't live in, But I won't really give myself 642 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:39,200 Speaker 1: the time of day if I'm sad huh hah, I 643 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,640 Speaker 1: might have to learn how to give a little bit 644 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,080 Speaker 1: to me And reading through your book. I was like, oh, right, 645 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,600 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three was the year I chose me. Wow, 646 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 1: it's a kind of same year for me too. 647 00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 3: Like you had, COVID was COVID and we got some 648 00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,200 Speaker 3: great alone time, but at the same time, we couldn't 649 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:00,960 Speaker 3: wrap our minds around what was happening. 650 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:02,840 Speaker 2: And then we all I think. 651 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:05,640 Speaker 3: We all just collectively came out of that spinning and like, WHOA, 652 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 3: what do we do? 653 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 2: How do we move forward? You know? 654 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,279 Speaker 3: I think that was a really and that's why we're 655 00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:15,759 Speaker 3: seeing so much more discussion about mental health now, and 656 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 3: people are telling their stories more than ever because we 657 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 3: have that time to really kind of sit with ourselves 658 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 3: and and things come when they're silence. You know, that's 659 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:28,799 Speaker 3: the best studying you can do. I think it's when 660 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:33,480 Speaker 3: you sit silently with your own thoughts and you know, 661 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 3: kind of determine what resonates with you and what doesn't. 662 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:43,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's crazy, and I think you you realize 663 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:48,040 Speaker 1: how you will fill space. And I mean, my best 664 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:49,759 Speaker 1: friend and I laugh about it all the time. We 665 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,880 Speaker 1: both partnered up, settled down. I had a wedding, she 666 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,920 Speaker 1: had a baby, and we all came out of lockdown 667 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:59,640 Speaker 1: and uh oh oh, oh, I think we're I think 668 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,320 Speaker 1: we're in can't with people who trauma bonded in maybe 669 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:07,239 Speaker 1: not the correct way. Oh, and it's a crazy thing 670 00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:11,000 Speaker 1: to realize that, no matter what version of it you're in, like, 671 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:15,359 Speaker 1: being a human is hard. Do you feel like that 672 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:20,880 Speaker 1: big collective uh oh or oh, that's interesting that it 673 00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:24,480 Speaker 1: seems like everybody went through. Was that what inspired you 674 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:29,239 Speaker 1: to make this an in person thing, to create a 675 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:33,279 Speaker 1: summit so people could gather. I mean, I think it's 676 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,759 Speaker 1: so cool that it's in person but also virtually so 677 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:39,000 Speaker 1: people can participate. Like, how did you know you wanted 678 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 1: to do this? 679 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,320 Speaker 2: I knew I wanted It started with a podcast. 680 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 3: I knew I wanted to I was already doing a podcast, 681 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 3: which was like a light fun rewatch podcasts, and I'm 682 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,080 Speaker 3: not the I'm not the most up to date on 683 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,320 Speaker 3: like pop culture person. I don't pay attention to that stuff. 684 00:38:55,760 --> 00:39:01,399 Speaker 3: I don't like watching entertainment news. So doing like, you know, 685 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,360 Speaker 3: that kind of poppy podcast was not what I wanted 686 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,080 Speaker 3: to do. And I really wanted to be about deeper 687 00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:11,360 Speaker 3: conversations and just get more into the real aspects of life. 688 00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,600 Speaker 3: So I started the podcast and that started to feel 689 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,520 Speaker 3: really good, and I thought, Okay, this this feels right. 690 00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:20,960 Speaker 3: Let's move forward with this message into it on a 691 00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:23,839 Speaker 3: different way. So I started a clothing brand where I'm 692 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:29,480 Speaker 3: able to encourage women through my clothing and through you know, 693 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:33,880 Speaker 3: just making people feel beautiful and feel confident and taking 694 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 3: the time to choose to take care of themselves as 695 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,920 Speaker 3: far as like picking out what they like, what they 696 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 3: want to wear. 697 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,000 Speaker 2: And then it became like a summit. 698 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 3: Like I was like, all these people that I see 699 00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,760 Speaker 3: joining this community, I want to be with them in person, 700 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,680 Speaker 3: and I want to bring them another gift of like 701 00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,279 Speaker 3: bringing other people that they would normally not get to 702 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:57,640 Speaker 3: hear from or like be in person with. Like they 703 00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:59,759 Speaker 3: come and they get to hear these great stories from 704 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,800 Speaker 3: people that maybe they look up to or they respect. 705 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:07,040 Speaker 3: So that's how the I Choose Me Summit came about. 706 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,480 Speaker 3: That we did our first one last year and it 707 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:13,239 Speaker 3: was such an incredible just feeling in the room, and 708 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,919 Speaker 3: I thought, I would love to do this again. I'd 709 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,560 Speaker 3: love to take this on the road and do it 710 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:21,560 Speaker 3: everywhere for women because we all, we all need a community. 711 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 3: Some of us don't know we need it, some of 712 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:28,200 Speaker 3: us think we don't need it, but when you experience it, 713 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:32,839 Speaker 3: something shifts. When you experience that mutual that we're all 714 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,719 Speaker 3: kind of experiencing the same things in life and struggling 715 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 3: with the same things, and just encouraging one another and 716 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:39,800 Speaker 3: supporting one another. 717 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 2: That's what I've thought. This feels so good to me. 718 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:43,840 Speaker 2: I want to share that with other people. 719 00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:48,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, I feel that so deeply. Well, it's so cool. 720 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:49,719 Speaker 1: It's it's Saturday. 721 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:51,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's coming so fast. 722 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,399 Speaker 1: I can't go. I want to tell our friends who 723 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:59,440 Speaker 1: are listening. You can get tickets at veeps dot com. 724 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:04,640 Speaker 1: It's v EPs dot com and you can go in person, 725 00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:06,839 Speaker 1: or you can go virtually, Like, what are you doing 726 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,920 Speaker 1: this weekend? What would you rather be doing this weekend? 727 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:10,959 Speaker 1: Clearly nothing, Go to the summit. 728 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,880 Speaker 2: Learn something about yourself. 729 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:16,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, go be with people. I think it's really cool 730 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 1: that for this second year you're also including men in 731 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:25,919 Speaker 1: the conversation. What sparked the shift? Like, because, to be clear, 732 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,480 Speaker 1: men need community too, I think they're even more hesitant 733 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: to admit that than we are. So did you just 734 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,440 Speaker 1: sort of know they needed to be in the room. 735 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:37,279 Speaker 2: Well, they definitely needed to be in the room. 736 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:41,640 Speaker 3: And hearing these conversations from women, but at the same time, like, yeah, 737 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,560 Speaker 3: I've mest some really incredibly inspirational men, and one of 738 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,279 Speaker 3: them is actually going to be at the event this year. 739 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:51,280 Speaker 3: His name's Cameron Matheson, and he's the person that introduced 740 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:55,400 Speaker 3: me to Buddhism the teachings of Buddha, and I started 741 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:59,560 Speaker 3: taking classes with him and I just fell in love 742 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:02,080 Speaker 3: with the mess sitching and so he had such an 743 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:03,240 Speaker 3: impact on my life. 744 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:06,319 Speaker 2: I you know, it was a no brainer for me. 745 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,280 Speaker 3: And I also kind of felt like bad, but yeah, 746 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,440 Speaker 3: women's empowerment. 747 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:11,520 Speaker 2: I love women. 748 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,600 Speaker 3: I want to help women, I want to support women, 749 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,640 Speaker 3: I want to be surrounded by women. But at the 750 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:18,319 Speaker 3: same time, I felt a little bad leaving the guys out, 751 00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:21,040 Speaker 3: especially the guys like Karamo and Camera and people that 752 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:25,759 Speaker 3: have really positive messages to put out there, and maybe 753 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 3: we wouldn't normally hear them, yeah, you know, or think 754 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:29,399 Speaker 3: of them. 755 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,680 Speaker 1: Well, I think about it a lot. You know, There's 756 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 1: there's a lot of men that get very upset when 757 00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:37,960 Speaker 1: we criticize men as a system because they feel like 758 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,640 Speaker 1: we're criticizing them as male people. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, 759 00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:45,839 Speaker 1: I have great men in my life. I love good men. 760 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:49,080 Speaker 1: What I have a problem with is the system of 761 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:50,440 Speaker 1: men that harms women. 762 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:51,160 Speaker 2: Right. 763 00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,640 Speaker 1: And one of the things I think is so important 764 00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:58,040 Speaker 1: about having good men in the room is it also 765 00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:03,840 Speaker 1: even subconscious. He reminds women about what really good masculine 766 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:08,840 Speaker 1: energy is, and then they know what isn't I actually 767 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:14,640 Speaker 1: think having really great, healthy relationships with excellent men keeps 768 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,200 Speaker 1: us safer around the ones that are dangerous. 769 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:22,000 Speaker 3: That sounds very true. I mean that definitely makes sense 770 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:27,320 Speaker 3: because it's not fair to sort of clump everybody together 771 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:30,239 Speaker 3: in any sense of the word, in any situation, like 772 00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:34,719 Speaker 3: everybody's individual. So it's such a just a disservice to 773 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:40,120 Speaker 3: make men the enemy, you know, because they're not all 774 00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:42,600 Speaker 3: the enemy. There's some good ones out there, ladies. 775 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:47,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, some fantastic ones truly. So I can't wait to 776 00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,560 Speaker 1: hear how that goes with some of our friends in 777 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:50,439 Speaker 1: the room at the Sien. 778 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:51,360 Speaker 2: Thank you. 779 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:57,480 Speaker 1: I'm so exciting. You know, there's so much that you've 780 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:02,520 Speaker 1: done and created, and it it feels like you're so 781 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 1: tapped into your purpose and you know what your lane 782 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:10,680 Speaker 1: is and you're on this adventure. When you think about 783 00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,920 Speaker 1: all these things that you know now more deeply about yourself. 784 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:18,400 Speaker 1: I guess I wonder what feels like you're work in progress, 785 00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:22,440 Speaker 1: what feels like you're so tinkering or looking or working on. 786 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,800 Speaker 2: It's so funny the title of your podcast. 787 00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:30,319 Speaker 3: It always resonates with me because I think it was 788 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,319 Speaker 3: like nineteen ninety I don't remember exactly, but I had 789 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:38,440 Speaker 3: a I did an exercise video. It was called Body 790 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:42,040 Speaker 3: and Progress, and so I've kind of said, you know, 791 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,880 Speaker 3: I'm a body in progress, and I so related to 792 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,040 Speaker 3: the title of your podcast. 793 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,640 Speaker 1: So I just for. 794 00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:54,799 Speaker 3: Anybody listening just to hear me speak or like, let me, 795 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,359 Speaker 3: you know, talk about finding my purpose and how I 796 00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,319 Speaker 3: feel like I'm so in the pocket right now. I 797 00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,080 Speaker 3: still wake up and doubt myself. I still have to 798 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,880 Speaker 3: like nurture those parts of me that are insecure or 799 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,600 Speaker 3: that are really used to those old patterns of ways, 800 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:16,319 Speaker 3: of like detrimental patterns that I so easily slip back into. 801 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,640 Speaker 3: And it takes a lot of bravery every day, And 802 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:24,200 Speaker 3: it takes just a recommitment on the daily, even moment 803 00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:29,560 Speaker 3: to moment sometimes of wanting so desperately to live up 804 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:34,040 Speaker 3: to my potential, to not only make my father proud 805 00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:38,000 Speaker 3: who's watching from above, but also my daughters. Like, the 806 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,480 Speaker 3: most important thing to me is that I walk a 807 00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:43,759 Speaker 3: life that they are proud to walk in with me. 808 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,560 Speaker 3: And I think that that is just like my driving 809 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:51,920 Speaker 3: force to every day, even when I'm you know, questioning 810 00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:55,960 Speaker 3: things or feeling imposter syndrome or you know, doing all 811 00:45:56,000 --> 00:46:00,480 Speaker 3: that letting all that stuff in a negative messaging Tho, 812 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:03,160 Speaker 3: it's easier for me to pop out of that now 813 00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:08,040 Speaker 3: because I want to for my girls. I want to 814 00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:11,279 Speaker 3: be the woman that I know I can be, not 815 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 3: just for myself but for them. 816 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:14,080 Speaker 2: So while I'm choosing me. 817 00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:18,920 Speaker 3: I'm also choosing we, Like I feel like I'm choosing 818 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:21,480 Speaker 3: like this community that I'm building around us, not with 819 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,520 Speaker 3: just like my family, but also with people that listen 820 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,160 Speaker 3: to the podcast or come to the summit or buy 821 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:31,440 Speaker 3: the clothes, Like, I feel so much support and synergy 822 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:33,440 Speaker 3: in this group of people. 823 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:37,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean they say that, you know, the 824 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:41,640 Speaker 1: most important predictive outcome for a woman's happiness is how 825 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:46,880 Speaker 1: happy her mom was. And to see you happy and 826 00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:50,440 Speaker 1: embodied and creative and doing all these things, you know, 827 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:54,160 Speaker 1: it's such such an example for your readers, and your listeners, 828 00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,040 Speaker 1: but also for your kids. It's a really call. 829 00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,719 Speaker 3: Yeah. I love it that I've figured things out a 830 00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:01,520 Speaker 3: little little bit more than I did. 831 00:47:01,560 --> 00:47:02,440 Speaker 2: And it took me a while. 832 00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,720 Speaker 3: Like I feel like I'm ten years behind the curve 833 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,880 Speaker 3: because I spent those good solid. 834 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,520 Speaker 2: Ten years on nine or two, and oh. 835 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:11,960 Speaker 1: I feel this same that environment. 836 00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:16,279 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm ten years behind, just developmentally. And 837 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:18,800 Speaker 3: I was always so frustrated by that because I was like, 838 00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:22,080 Speaker 3: why are you acting like this? You're not that you 839 00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:24,920 Speaker 3: can't get away with that shit anymore. Someone said to 840 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,239 Speaker 3: me stop being self indulgent once and I was like, 841 00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,520 Speaker 3: oh my god, you're right, I'm being a self indulgent asshole, Like. 842 00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:34,239 Speaker 2: Who am I to act like this? 843 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,120 Speaker 3: If I wouldn't accept this in my life from somebody else, 844 00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:42,960 Speaker 3: how can I possibly accept it from myself. So there's 845 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,919 Speaker 3: just a lot of different little wake up calls, but yeah, 846 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,160 Speaker 3: ten years behind. 847 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:53,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel that deeply. Oh my goodness, Well this 848 00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:54,120 Speaker 1: is just so cool. 849 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,320 Speaker 2: Thank you for today, Thank you so much for having 850 00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:57,440 Speaker 2: me