Speaker 1: Episode four fifty one, Frugal Entertaining and Hosting.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity, and live a life here your hosts,
Speaker 2: Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, and today we are talking about
Speaker 1: how to host people frugally, and we think this We're
Speaker 1: even going to tell you how it's good for you
Speaker 1: and why you should do it. All frugal people should
Speaker 1: and which is great because a lot of people, when
Speaker 1: we pold you in the friend letter, a lot of
Speaker 1: you said yes, you do enjoy having people over.
Speaker 3: A good amount of you said no. The close second
Speaker 3: is no, and then others view said I wish I could,
Speaker 3: but my face space feels too small, or I'd like to,
Speaker 3: but it can be so expensive. So most of you
Speaker 3: either are or would like to, but there's barriers. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Anothers of you you just know yourself and you're not
Speaker 3: doing it. You're probably not listening to this episode either. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So, I mean a lot of you mentioned groceries are
Speaker 1: too much. That's one of the reasons cleaning and in
Speaker 1: baking in advance. So we are going to talk. We're
Speaker 1: going to overcome the stigma and get you entertaining this
Speaker 1: holiday season without breaking the budget with actually, we don't
Speaker 1: save you money. Okay, So forget that drive through light
Speaker 1: thing in the baseball field. I guess it's not drive through,
Speaker 1: but walk through that costs like sixty five bucks. Forget it.
Speaker 1: You go through a party. It's going to be great.
Speaker 1: But first, our sponsor today, this episode is brought to
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Speaker 1: do not wait. The horrors will continue to persist as
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Speaker 3: Rates, but you can be prepared for the individual horrors
Speaker 3: of your life by having your emergency fund locked and loaded.
Speaker 1: Like when you have to emergencily do something with your child, because.
Speaker 3: Floor just just.
Speaker 1: Taking them out of school every every hurricane, right like whatever,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. It's fine, It's it's good that they're
Speaker 1: doing it. I just you know, you need to pivot.
Speaker 3: I need to pivot.
Speaker 1: And if you need to pivot into a more festive
Speaker 1: mind set, then well, actually more this episode is really
Speaker 1: about connection, right. We all are festive in our own ways.
Speaker 1: Some of us like death and that's really Halloween is
Speaker 1: our you know, our season, and some of us really
Speaker 1: like twinkly lights and we go for that and for
Speaker 1: you know, those holidays, and others like food, you know,
Speaker 1: and there's a holiday for you too. So there is
Speaker 1: a holiday for everybody coming up, and we want you
Speaker 1: to celebrate it by connecting with people. So we've got
Speaker 1: a couple episodes you can cueue up. After this episode
Speaker 1: three eighty nine, creativity over Consumerism. We'll be talking a
Speaker 1: lot about that idea today. But then also episode three hundred,
Speaker 1: how to say no to family and friends who want
Speaker 1: you to spend maybe having a more lavish party because
Speaker 1: somebody else you knew had their party was very, very lavish.
Speaker 1: You can say no to that, And so that's a
Speaker 1: episode three hundred is a good one to build that muscle.
Speaker 1: But let's get into our headlines today.
Speaker 3: This first headline that we're going to go through comes
Speaker 3: from Venue Report, and it is titled seven reasons why
Speaker 3: throwing a party is good for your health. We're only
Speaker 3: going to go through sex just because we like to
Speaker 3: keep it even. But I want to say I'm glad
Speaker 3: that we've titled this entered and hosting and not just
Speaker 3: throwing a party, because I think there is some delineation.
Speaker 3: Parties absolutely fall under this umbrella, but I think just
Speaker 3: having people over, being willing to open our door and
Speaker 3: host people in our home is also what we're talking
Speaker 3: about here, and we want to talk. We want to
Speaker 3: start the episode out with kind of getting even more
Speaker 3: buy in to this idea. For those of you who
Speaker 3: answered no in the friend letter but still might be
Speaker 3: tuning in or even for those of you who think
Speaker 3: it's too expensive or my home is too small, I
Speaker 3: think getting our minds around this concept that it is
Speaker 3: good to open our homes, no matter how big or small,
Speaker 3: no matter how clean, no matter how aesthetic, it is
Speaker 3: to be able to have connection. And it's one of
Speaker 3: the ways that we can experience connection without all of
Speaker 3: the expenses of going out for an activity or out
Speaker 3: to eat, and more just time together. So I like
Speaker 3: this concept of just let's get together, and how can
Speaker 3: we do this in a way that's manageable for us. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the first reason throwing a party is good for
Speaker 1: your health is that friends are good for your immune system.
Speaker 1: So apparently epidemiologists have been saying for years that people
Speaker 1: who have more diverse social networks are less likely to
Speaker 1: get a heart disease and live longer. And it does
Speaker 1: have a source. And we all know that the parties
Speaker 1: you throw, the more people you bring into your social network.
Speaker 1: And I love it, and I want to I want
Speaker 1: to emphasize that. I think one of the reasons we
Speaker 1: may be apprehensive to throw parties quote unquote parties is
Speaker 1: that we think it's a lot of people. We think
Speaker 1: it's everyone that we know has to be invited. But
Speaker 1: a lot of apprehension in the friend letter from your
Speaker 1: responses was that your place isn't big enough to host
Speaker 1: a party. You don't have to have a big place
Speaker 1: to host a couple people. If your living room holds six,
Speaker 1: then you can invite six people to your quote unquote party.
Speaker 1: Parties don't have to be ragers. It can be a
Speaker 1: game night, it can be a dinner. It doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be super formal with invites and all of that stuff.
Speaker 1: But just having like deeper connections with friends is better
Speaker 1: for your health. And so I think we have this
Speaker 1: all or nothing and we need to find a radical
Speaker 1: middle for where we are for the season that we're
Speaker 1: in to think, Okay, it's not that I can't have
Speaker 1: people over, but how can I have people over?
Speaker 3: Yeah? The second reason to entertain in your own home
Speaker 3: is that hosting can teach you to embrace stress, which
Speaker 3: hear me out. I like how they reference this research
Speaker 3: that was done by a psychologist Kelly McGonagall, and she
Speaker 3: talks about how embracing stress rather than fearing it in
Speaker 3: simple scenarios can help increase your ability to manage more
Speaker 3: stressful situations. And I would just say anecdotally, I feel
Speaker 3: like I can see this in my own self, especially
Speaker 3: through COVID, things got a lot more quiet, more insulated,
Speaker 3: and the things that typically weren't very overwhelming to me
Speaker 3: became overwhelming because my world got smaller. And I think
Speaker 3: our capacities EBB and flow, what we can handle and
Speaker 3: manage on a day to day basis can shift, but
Speaker 3: we can also expand some of our capacities by introducing
Speaker 3: ourselves to some of these situations, not to overwhelm ourselves,
Speaker 3: but hosting a party or having a couple people over
Speaker 3: there is a bit of stress, but it's not necessarily
Speaker 3: bad stress, and we don't have to just live in
Speaker 3: a state of trying to avoid a repel stress. It's
Speaker 3: a natural part of life. And the more that we
Speaker 3: can train ourselves in our stress response, how we engage
Speaker 3: with our stress reactions, can help us have experience opportunities
Speaker 3: to shift the way that we engage with our stress
Speaker 3: response and be able to manage it more effectively and
Speaker 3: be more prepared for stressors in the future. So sometimes
Speaker 3: I'll do this myself. It is a way that I
Speaker 3: can have a disruptor in my life. Otherwise it's just
Speaker 3: me and Eric hanging out in our house and it's
Speaker 3: so quiet. That's nice, but what is that doing to
Speaker 3: me in the long term. So being able to have
Speaker 3: people over entertain, allow things to get messy, that is
Speaker 3: good for me, and I need to embrace that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's such an important distinction between the
Speaker 1: good stress and the bad stress, because there is bad
Speaker 1: stress and we want to eliminate that from our life.
Speaker 1: And sometimes you're in a season with a lot going
Speaker 1: on and you can't afford to put more.
Speaker 3: On your plate.
Speaker 1: And in that instance, like maybe you are asking a
Speaker 1: friend if they want to have people over at their house.
Speaker 1: Obviously you should know that friend pretty well. But I
Speaker 1: think we have to be willing to do the to
Speaker 1: be the thing that we want.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: We can't get mad that people aren't inviting us to
Speaker 1: their house if we are not inviting people to our home.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: So, if you have a track record of doing that
Speaker 1: and you're just in a season where you can't, then
Speaker 1: you have permission to ask that of someone else. If
Speaker 1: you're not, you first have to be the change. You
Speaker 1: have to be the person that you want to interact with,
Speaker 1: and that create and that can create a good stress,
Speaker 1: like when you stretch something. When something is being stretched,
Speaker 1: that's putting it under stress. But usually like if it's pasta,
Speaker 1: do that's great. That's how you get yummy pasta. Is
Speaker 1: you're stretching it and that's delicious stress. Right, So there
Speaker 1: is a difference, and it builds resilience, right, And it's
Speaker 1: the good kind of resilience. We don't always have to
Speaker 1: put ourselves into bad situations to build resilience. It can
Speaker 1: be sometimes controlled and good good stress. So the next
Speaker 1: one is it creates better sleep. Oh, sorry, that's yours. Three.
Speaker 1: Socializing is good for memory skipping down, So it says
Speaker 1: according to a study by the American Academy of Neurology,
Speaker 1: people who who are travel and or socially active are
Speaker 1: fifty five percent less likely to develop symptoms of moderate
Speaker 1: cognitive impairment such as dementia. So that's really interesting. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I would say it's good for I
Speaker 1: guess you know your long term memory, sure, but I
Speaker 1: would say it's I think really learning new things is
Speaker 1: a definite piece to lessen the symptoms or you know
Speaker 1: of dementia, and I think you do. When you're hosting people,
Speaker 1: You're learning about people, You're learning about people's experiences, you're
Speaker 1: learning about you know, things aro out hosting. So I
Speaker 1: do think it has something there. I think that's some
Speaker 1: aspecially active and travel piece.
Speaker 3: Some of this is just highlighting the benefits of community
Speaker 3: and being socially active, and hosting is one way of
Speaker 3: being socially active. So it all kind of blends together
Speaker 3: and cumulatively, the more that we are engaging with friendships
Speaker 3: and our community, the better off we're going to be,
Speaker 3: just mentally cognitively, it can help. The next one on
Speaker 3: here is that you'll sleep better. This one's a funny one,
Speaker 3: but I can attest just that when you're a host,
Speaker 3: it can be exhausting. It's a lot of work to
Speaker 3: set up the party and host the party and make
Speaker 3: sure everyone's having a good time and finding time to
Speaker 3: have meaningful conversations with your guests, and then cleaning up afterwards. Yeah,
Speaker 3: it is work. I would say it's worthwhile work, but
Speaker 3: you will be tired. Eric and I just hosted a
Speaker 3: fortieth birthday party a couple weekends ago, and by the
Speaker 3: end of the night, I was tired, and I did.
Speaker 3: I slept very good that night. So for no other reason,
Speaker 3: throw a party so that you just absolutely exhaust yourself. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Next is that it's a mood booster. Parties are a
Speaker 1: mood booster. And we're saying parties, but again we are
Speaker 1: really just saying anytime you have people in your home,
Speaker 1: it says getting together with people and laughing is hugely important.
Speaker 1: Neuroscientists Sophie Scott says, you're doing something when you laugh
Speaker 1: with people that's actually letting you access a really ancient
Speaker 1: evolutionary system that mammals have evolved to make and maintain
Speaker 1: social bonds and clearly to regulate emotions to make ourselves
Speaker 1: feel better. And I'll take it one step further, is
Speaker 1: we usually we associate shopping with this dopamine response, right,
Speaker 1: and that's why we use shopping as an activity. But
Speaker 1: you can get the same dopamine response in anticipation of
Speaker 1: and actually much more during building connections with people than
Speaker 1: you even do with shopping shopping, A lot of the
Speaker 1: dopamine rush is the anticipation of buying, and once you
Speaker 1: click buy, it's over. It's very short lived. It's a
Speaker 1: poor fulfillment for what you're actually wanting when you are
Speaker 1: building relationships with people, then that dopamine you're getting it
Speaker 1: in anticipation of the party and while you're there and
Speaker 1: when you're having like memories of it later. Right, and
Speaker 1: those are positive dopamine Rusha's not what we get when
Speaker 1: we're remembering what we impulse bought.
Speaker 3: So yeah, we don't feel great about those, right, So
Speaker 3: we don't.
Speaker 1: Want to fight against dopamine. That's a good thing in
Speaker 1: our brain. We want that, but we want to retrain
Speaker 1: our brains in how we fulfill that need.
Speaker 3: The final reason we'll talk about from this article is
Speaker 3: that hosting can help improve your organizational skills. You may
Speaker 3: not be perfect at it the first time if you're
Speaker 3: new to hosting or planning a get together, but if
Speaker 3: you allow yourself to exercise this a couple of times,
Speaker 3: you will get better and better, and that skill set
Speaker 3: can follow you into other types of things that you do,
Speaker 3: whether it's just daily life and managing your time or
Speaker 3: for the work that you do on a day to
Speaker 3: day Base says, learning how to best manage that time
Speaker 3: is really crucial, especially with planning an event, and so
Speaker 3: learning how to give the adequate amount of time to
Speaker 3: whether you're decorating or getting the food ready, or sending
Speaker 3: out invitations or cleaning something, not focusing too long on
Speaker 3: anyone task, and how to break it down, how to
Speaker 3: make it even really simple, how to prioritize what is
Speaker 3: absolutely important that is ready for this party and what
Speaker 3: is not. What are the things that it's okay if
Speaker 3: that doesn't get done, And that skill set is going
Speaker 3: to help us in a variety of other things. So
Speaker 3: it's just another way to be able to exercise your
Speaker 3: organizational skills. All right.
Speaker 1: So our next article is where we're actually going to
Speaker 1: dive into how do you host an awesome party or
Speaker 1: get together on a budget? And this one comes from
Speaker 1: the very basics and as a basic bee, as a
Speaker 1: basic bury myself, I appreciate that. So we're going to
Speaker 1: go into a few things that can help you. The
Speaker 1: first is timing. When we think party, we think has
Speaker 1: to be Saturday night or Friday night, but it doesn't
Speaker 1: actually have to be. So maybe you're just doing a weekday.
Speaker 1: You're doing something small on a weekday. It limits the
Speaker 1: number of people that are going to be coming over.
Speaker 1: So if you have a small place you can invite
Speaker 1: many more people and fewer people will come. That's a
Speaker 1: little trick. And then you're just doing something small, you know,
Speaker 1: like dinner and a game, or dinner and a scary
Speaker 1: movie for Halloween, or a Hallmark Christmas movie or whatever.
Speaker 1: So we have a friend that does a friends giving
Speaker 1: and she cooks all the food. She really likes to
Speaker 1: go all out, but it's and then we always watch
Speaker 1: Harry Potter movies during the friendsgiving, like before during after,
Speaker 1: and it's such a fun little tradition. Right, So you
Speaker 1: can start your own small traditions. And maybe you are
Speaker 1: doing it on a weekend, but maybe you're doing it earlier.
Speaker 1: Maybe you're doing a brunch which is much more affordable
Speaker 1: than a dinner. Eggs are such an affordable protein, or
Speaker 1: just a coffee, like a morning coffee for your girls,
Speaker 1: where you're doing coffees and donies, you know, like it's
Speaker 1: timing is everything, and having a party doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: that party has to be on Saturday night.
Speaker 3: It also doesn't mean that it has to be over
Speaker 3: a meal. So all of our people in the friend
Speaker 3: letter who responded that it just costs too much, this
Speaker 3: is a big component is when are you having your
Speaker 3: get together? When are you hosting? You can have people
Speaker 3: over after dinner and maybe choose to have made a
Speaker 3: dessert or just do tea or a nightcap or whatever
Speaker 3: it is that you want to do, or like you said,
Speaker 3: have people over for coffee. It doesn't have to be expensive,
Speaker 3: but that doesn't mean that you can't get together. The
Speaker 3: next thing is to send out e invites. I don't
Speaker 3: know many people who are actually sending invites in the
Speaker 3: mail to to get togethers other than maybe like a
Speaker 3: bridal shower or a webbing or a baby shower exactly.
Speaker 3: You can just text, but if it is a little
Speaker 3: bit more of a party where you're having a lot
Speaker 3: of people and you don't want to have this massive
Speaker 3: text chain that inundates everybody's inbox, you could create something
Speaker 3: really simple on a free platform like Canva and send
Speaker 3: that out. So there are options to even make it
Speaker 3: look like an elevated party without it costing you anything.
Speaker 3: You can make free invites and send those out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, ev I paperless post. They all still have free options,
Speaker 1: I believe, but are they are out there? Next is
Speaker 1: to accept help, and this kind of is a callback
Speaker 1: to our episode on your lack of community is costing you.
Speaker 1: This is where we want to help people, but we
Speaker 1: don't want to accept help. And so I think if
Speaker 1: somebody asks what can I bring, almost there's almost this
Speaker 1: like thing where you're like, you don't expect somebody to
Speaker 1: say you can bring anything, because like, normally people want
Speaker 1: to get it all themselves. But I think with more
Speaker 1: intimate parties, then you can't, like, if somebody offers to help,
Speaker 1: you should accept it. It's more of a it's our party,
Speaker 1: not just it's my party sort of thing. That's also
Speaker 1: an option if you can't host at your house but
Speaker 1: you want to host at somebody else's, be like, hey,
Speaker 1: if you open up your home, like, I'll bring some
Speaker 1: of these things, and you know, I'll help with set up,
Speaker 1: cleanup all that stuff. Some people just don't want. There
Speaker 1: was a lot of people that just hated cleaning right
Speaker 1: before and after a party, and that is a is
Speaker 1: a big thing. The bigger the party, the bigger the cleanup.
Speaker 1: So if we just kind of make our parties more
Speaker 1: intimate and less intricate, then we kind of eliminate some
Speaker 1: of that. But we can also accept some help if
Speaker 1: you want the party to be bigger, and if it's
Speaker 1: not like a birthday party or something, you know, when
Speaker 1: I ask a person whose birthday it is, to help
Speaker 1: clean up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've cared less and less over the years about
Speaker 3: telling people to bring things. I used to be like, no,
Speaker 3: just yourself, just yourself, and that's lovely. But most of
Speaker 3: the time then people guess and they bring, and that's
Speaker 3: fine too. People are kind that way, but we know
Speaker 3: for ourselves we don't like to show up empty handed,
Speaker 3: So neither is your guests. So rather than make them
Speaker 3: guess at something, let them actually contribute. So if they're asking,
Speaker 3: I am all here for it. Yeah, can you bring
Speaker 3: some ice? Can you bring limes? Can you bring this?
Speaker 3: Can you bring that? And of course you can have
Speaker 3: a get together that's a pot luck and really just
Speaker 3: say bring whatever's in your fridge and that really saves money.
Speaker 3: But if you are kind of getting the majority of
Speaker 3: the things, like the party that I just had, I
Speaker 3: just did charcouterie. I had cheese and bread and crackers
Speaker 3: and a brushetta and let other people bring drinks to
Speaker 3: share and ice and a dessert. There were different things
Speaker 3: that I let other people bring and they felt happy
Speaker 3: to be able to do that, so definitely recruit the help.
Speaker 3: The next one on here I am pushing back on,
Speaker 3: but I'll state it. They talk about buying discounted paper goods,
Speaker 3: which yes, fine, if it's going to make cleanup easier
Speaker 3: for you and you want to use some one time
Speaker 3: use paper products, you can find them discounted at stores
Speaker 3: like Ross or Marshals that kind of a thing. But
Speaker 3: I would say, if you're not having a ton of
Speaker 3: people over use what you have on hand, use the
Speaker 3: dishes that you already have, and recruit the help for
Speaker 3: people to wash it at the end of the night
Speaker 3: or throw it in the dishwasher, or pick and choose
Speaker 3: which paper products you're gonna end up using. So for instance,
Speaker 3: the party we just had, I did use paper plates,
Speaker 3: but everything else was not, Like was just my things.
Speaker 3: So I put out glasses with rubber bands so people
Speaker 3: could mark their glass with a rubber band to be
Speaker 3: able to keep track of it, because that's part of it.
Speaker 3: You're able to write on your plastic cups and keep
Speaker 3: track of your cups. But if you just implement a
Speaker 3: little bit creativity, you can also reduce the amount of
Speaker 3: waste that ends up happening and not have to purchase
Speaker 3: all of the plastic products either. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I would say just getting if you're having
Speaker 1: a bigger party, don't be afraid to buy like just
Speaker 1: cheap paper products. I know, sometimes we want them to
Speaker 1: be festive, you know, we want to buy themed paper products,
Speaker 1: but they're ending up in the garbage, so and then
Speaker 1: we feel.
Speaker 3: Weird about using them the rest of the year, right,
Speaker 3: you know, use.
Speaker 1: Them all right, you are going to have leftovers. So
Speaker 1: just like maybe if you want it to be themed,
Speaker 1: pick a color like red. Red will go with Halloween,
Speaker 1: like for blood, it'll go with Thanksgiving, it'll go with Christmas,
Speaker 1: it'll go with Valentine's Day. You know, like there you go.
Speaker 1: It's I always try to pick a wrapping paper that
Speaker 1: goes with birthdays and holidays, and then paper plates. I
Speaker 1: just get the regular ones, but if you want them themed,
Speaker 1: go with that or gold glitter, because that's what I
Speaker 1: got for when we had our Olympics party, and gold
Speaker 1: glitter just also goes with everything. But that's not a discount, that's.
Speaker 3: Not a discount option.
Speaker 1: Uh So, But that kind of leads me to the
Speaker 1: next one is decorate with household items and incorporate nature.
Speaker 1: So there can also be a lot of stigma around
Speaker 1: decorating for parties. If I'm throwing a Halloween party, do
Speaker 1: I need to decorate for Halloween? No, you don't. You
Speaker 1: can pick and choose. So maybe you're having a costume
Speaker 1: party and you don't decorate the house, but all the
Speaker 1: people are decorated. They decorate themselves, which is even better,
Speaker 1: and then they leave and you don't have to store
Speaker 1: their decor. But or holidays, like I think everybody kind
Speaker 1: of already has, you know, their decoration already up, whether
Speaker 1: it's a Christmas tree or a manora or what have you. Like,
Speaker 1: it's going to be there anyway, so why do more?
Speaker 1: But I would say, pick and choose, like what you
Speaker 1: have with your decore, use the trash can trick that
Speaker 1: we love. Put it next to a trash can at
Speaker 1: Target or in the trash canal wherever you are, and
Speaker 1: see if it still looks cute. If it doesn't, put
Speaker 1: it back, put it back and it's carefully curated, beautiful area.
Speaker 1: But use nature too.
Speaker 3: This is another one that I have let go of
Speaker 3: my previous expectations of myself. I am accepting help, I
Speaker 3: am not prioritizing decore, and so in those ways it
Speaker 3: reduces the barriers to just have people over and connect
Speaker 3: with them. And it's the same thing the same concepts
Speaker 3: with our whole values based spending. I decide what is
Speaker 3: most valuable, where I want to invest my time and
Speaker 3: energy and money, and what I want to experience and
Speaker 3: gain as a result. So because I'm not stressing about
Speaker 3: the decor or how good the food is going to be,
Speaker 3: or being super extravagant or not accepting any help, I'm
Speaker 3: able to do it so much more often. And I've
Speaker 3: noticed that people feel a lot more relaxed when I'm
Speaker 3: not so on edge that everything is just so and
Speaker 3: is everyone having the best time of their lives based
Speaker 3: on my decor do they think this is amazing? That's
Speaker 3: not what's important, just a space for all of us
Speaker 3: to be able to connect. I'm able to offer that.
Speaker 3: The other things I think are a little bit peripheral.
Speaker 1: There's always music. Music is great decor. Honestly, it creates
Speaker 1: an experience and you can play some spooking music. Also,
Speaker 1: we all have a friend that goes all out for
Speaker 1: a holiday, though, like that is their thing. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: not yours, but it is their thing. And if they're
Speaker 1: not hosting an annual party, you can help them do that.
Speaker 1: Show off their gift, don't hide it, show it off,
Speaker 1: help them show it off, and that's less stress for you.
Speaker 3: Well, and I would rather spend my money on the
Speaker 3: things that are gonna make a difference for my house.
Speaker 3: I feel like we put a lot of money into
Speaker 3: our renovations. We've made our house I think really beautiful
Speaker 3: to us, and so I don't think the space needs
Speaker 3: a lot more. I would have rather, and I continue
Speaker 3: to rather put money towards some upgrades for our home
Speaker 3: that are going to last over the decor that will
Speaker 3: either get thrown away or spend most of its time
Speaker 3: in a closet, And just let the house shine and
Speaker 3: spend my time cleaning it and then just eat good food.
Speaker 3: That's what I prefer anyways. Speaking of good food, my
Speaker 3: last tip on here is drinks the addition to the food.
Speaker 3: Save money on drinks. So they're talking about being able
Speaker 3: to serve some Buday friendly things like water. Absolutely make
Speaker 3: sure water is available tea or lemonade or infused water
Speaker 3: or coffee. These are all things that you can make
Speaker 3: from scratch, or if you're not opposed to the tea
Speaker 3: and lemonade powders, that's fine too. They talk about not
Speaker 3: serving soda. I don't think I've ever served soda at
Speaker 3: a party. That's my bad. But again, I think drinks
Speaker 3: are one of the things that you can easily ask
Speaker 3: your guests to bring, even if they didn't ask. Can
Speaker 3: I bring anything? I will often on an invite that
Speaker 3: I send out, Here's what I'll have on hand. I
Speaker 3: love to give people a heads up because I personally
Speaker 3: like knowing what to expect when I goes somewhere. So
Speaker 3: when I invite people, I let them know what I'm
Speaker 3: going to have on hand, and of course an open invite.
Speaker 3: If there's anything additional you're gonna want, feel free to
Speaker 3: bring it, but also feel free to bring a drink
Speaker 3: to share. So I let other people handle the drinks,
Speaker 3: and then I tip just have maybe I have a
Speaker 3: bottle of wine or one cocktail on offer and water
Speaker 3: or just some tea, depending on what type of gathering
Speaker 3: it's going to be. But I don't go all out
Speaker 3: assuming that I'm going to provide all of the drinks
Speaker 3: for everybody because that can be a specific line item
Speaker 3: that makes throwing a party much more expensive.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, all right. And for the final the piece
Speaker 1: de resistance of party planning party throwing is food. So
Speaker 1: their recommendation is to buy food that's on sale, so
Speaker 1: that obviously is a very don't plan your menu until
Speaker 1: you know what's going to be on sale, and then
Speaker 1: let the sales guide you with what you want. I
Speaker 1: will say that when I throw a party, it is
Speaker 1: always BYO snack, so I'll provide like two and then
Speaker 1: they can bring, you know, any extras.
Speaker 3: That's kind of because talk about your opening ceremonies party
Speaker 3: for the Olympics.
Speaker 1: That was very fun, so that that was a larger
Speaker 1: scale so I can talk more in depth about it later,
Speaker 1: but essentially it was the opening ceremonies for the Olympics.
Speaker 1: Everybody got to pick a country that they wanted to
Speaker 1: bring a snack from, and we handled America and France
Speaker 1: because USA and then the host country and everybody else
Speaker 1: could pick what they wanted and we had a lot
Speaker 1: of great options. I provided four snack options and then
Speaker 1: all the other families maybe brought one, some people didn't
Speaker 1: bring anything, and that's fine, and we had more than
Speaker 1: enough food. It was great. And when I am attending
Speaker 1: a party, then I will make something maybe like pigs
Speaker 1: in a blanket. If I'm hosting a party, I don't
Speaker 1: do something like that. I did do burger sliders for
Speaker 1: this one because it was a big deal for me,
Speaker 1: but normally I would do something like that. I will
Speaker 1: do very simple foods if I'm hosting, because everything else
Speaker 1: I'm doing is very intricate, and I know, as the
Speaker 1: host sometimes we feel obligated to do the more intricate foods,
Speaker 1: but that I don't think that's the case. I think
Speaker 1: let's focus on simpler foods. So they've got like fifteen
Speaker 1: minute chocolate chip brownie cups, skewers, veggies, marshmallows, cheeses all
Speaker 1: of his meats, like the charcuterie board, like Jill was talking,
Speaker 1: so just so, and charcuterie boards can get expensive, but
Speaker 1: I think if we're if we're thinking low cost staples,
Speaker 1: So like baking something that's not very intricate, it's usually
Speaker 1: pretty easy. Baking is a science, not so much a skill.
Speaker 1: So if you can follow directions, you can bake something
Speaker 1: with flour. So keep it simple. It make it low cost,
Speaker 1: don't plan to feel everyone get you know, do two things.
Speaker 1: You can make two things from almost scratch. Doesn't need
Speaker 1: to be from scratch, and it's much more affordable than
Speaker 1: getting platters and trays and pre made baked goods.
Speaker 3: Bonus to peer. Two. If you are hosting and it
Speaker 3: is including food, you're gonna have leftovers. People are gonna
Speaker 3: bring stuff and leave it. You're gonna make stuff and
Speaker 3: there's gonna be more leftover, And that's such a benefit here.
Speaker 3: So for instance, the party that I just hosted, I
Speaker 3: spent about fifty dollars between food and drinks, and I
Speaker 3: realized afterwards that's about how much Eric and I spend
Speaker 3: when we go out to eat after tip is all
Speaker 3: said and done. That's a standard just out to a
Speaker 3: sit down restaurant type of thing, and we do do
Speaker 3: that a couple times a month, if not at least
Speaker 3: once a week. And so it was the same amount spent.
Speaker 3: But to have a ton of peace pull over in
Speaker 3: our home, and we have had leftovers for days now.
Speaker 3: It has fed us lunch and dinner for multiple days
Speaker 3: in a row. So there's there's added benefits. I'm not
Speaker 3: saying like, just have people over so they can buy
Speaker 3: your groceries. But it is a benefit of having people
Speaker 3: over and enjoying food togethers. You get the leftovers.
Speaker 1: You know what else is a benefit?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's no, sloppy second, it's.
Speaker 1: No, And I always have leftover laughter afterwards.
Speaker 3: The bill of the week.
Speaker 2: That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 2: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
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Speaker 2: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 2: that bill anymore. That's bills, butffalo bills, Bill Clinton, This
Speaker 2: is the bill of the week.
Speaker 1: Hi, ba is Mackenzie, and I have a bill of
Speaker 1: the week. A baby was born and his name is William.
Speaker 3: My sister had a baby boy and they named him William.
Speaker 3: And that is my bill of the week. I'm a
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Speaker 1: I also have to note that Goldie reviews these before
Speaker 1: she puts them in and had and made a note
Speaker 1: that said I'm on the floor laughing. So Mackenzie, you
Speaker 1: not only made us laugh, you made Goldie laugh, like
Speaker 1: fall on the floor laughing.
Speaker 3: And she didn't even use the acronym for it. It
Speaker 3: wasn't even rolf, it was literally she wrote out. I'm
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Speaker 3: how short to the point syscty is and exactly what
Speaker 3: the Bill of the Week soundtrack calls for. Maybe a
Speaker 3: baby was born his name is William, and this happened
Speaker 3: to you. And I also love to imagine that when
Speaker 3: your nephew was born and he was named William, that
Speaker 3: our Bill of the Week and our podcast was one
Speaker 3: of the first things that you thought of. I want
Speaker 3: to believe that. And we're going to live in our
Speaker 3: own reality now. Thank you so much, McKenzie. If you
Speaker 3: all are listening and you want to submit your Bill
Speaker 3: of the week, if it has anything to do with
Speaker 3: the examples given in the Bill of the Week soundtrack,
Speaker 3: or your name is Bill, or you want to make
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Speaker 3: an odd, bizarre Bill of the Week, Frugal friendspodcast dot
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Speaker 3: And now it's time for the.
Speaker 1: Hangw all right, So do you enjoy being a host
Speaker 1: or a guest more? And why? And I think this
Speaker 1: is a trick question, but you go first, Jill.
Speaker 3: I do I enjoy hosting most, And you know, I
Speaker 3: think maybe my why is not entirely altruistic or at
Speaker 3: all all druistic.
Speaker 1: You love the leftovers.
Speaker 3: I love the leftovers. I think I like the control.
Speaker 3: I think I like to be able to curate the
Speaker 3: experience that I want, So it's entirely selfish. I like
Speaker 3: to not have to get in my car and go somewhere.
Speaker 3: I like to have my own bathroom right there for.
Speaker 1: Me, A.
Speaker 3: People coming, there's so many birds. Yes, how about you,
Speaker 3: jen Oh?
Speaker 1: I love both. But I do love hosting for the
Speaker 1: reasons that you've said. I love invite people into my home.
Speaker 1: That's something that made the renovation really tough for me
Speaker 1: is that my home was not even a safe place
Speaker 1: to have my own kids in, let alone other peoples
Speaker 1: and other people in general. But now that we have
Speaker 1: a better place for that, I want to have people
Speaker 1: over more, and not every month, but definitely quarterly, just
Speaker 1: doing some kind of I don't know, just get together
Speaker 1: just at dinner or some snacks, just something like. We
Speaker 1: have a really good house for parties. It's open floor plan.
Speaker 1: So I really do love being in control. Of the
Speaker 1: narrative and executing my own vision. So I think hosting
Speaker 1: can absolutely be selfish. It should be, and simultaneously you're
Speaker 1: building relationships. But I also love being a guested. We
Speaker 1: went to a movie night at a friend's house on Friday,
Speaker 1: and it was fun to just be able to go
Speaker 1: over there, get out of our own house for a
Speaker 1: little bit, and talk to other adults, let the other kids,
Speaker 1: you know, entertain themselves. It was really nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1: I am an advocate for going into other people's houses
Speaker 1: versus parks and restaurants and coffee shops and all that.
Speaker 1: I think we need to see each other's homes. I
Speaker 1: think we need to our homes need to not be perfect.
Speaker 1: I think we need to see each other's homes being
Speaker 1: not perfect, because then we don't fall for the illusion
Speaker 1: that we see on social media with all these perfect
Speaker 1: kitchens and perfect houses. Like we need to remind ourselves
Speaker 1: that life is not perfectly esthetic. This is not real life.
Speaker 1: And the only way we do that is by going
Speaker 1: into other people's homes and being brave enough to invite
Speaker 1: people into our homes when they're not esthetically perfect. Soapbox,
Speaker 1: thank you for going to my ted talk.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, but two, I will clean before people come.
Speaker 3: And that's a perk too for me, is that I
Speaker 3: might not have a reason to clean ahead of time,
Speaker 3: and so it's like it's a both Eric and I
Speaker 3: are like, it's our reason to do some of these
Speaker 3: things that we've been putting off. So that's just a
Speaker 3: whole other perks that it's that reason to do it.
Speaker 3: One of the things I also wanted to mention, and
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry for burying the lead, but for those
Speaker 3: of you who made it this far in the episode,
Speaker 3: I've been following this one Instagram account called host in
Speaker 3: your Home, and that's been super inspiring to me and
Speaker 3: even pushes back against the whole I don't have enough space,
Speaker 3: it's too expensive, my home is non esthetic, and she
Speaker 3: just gives the template for being able to have people
Speaker 3: over even if your space is small. I think she
Speaker 3: doesn't have more than six to eight people over at
Speaker 3: a time, usually small gatherings, or she'll talk about how
Speaker 3: she hosts outside. She will make some really nice meals
Speaker 3: for people, but provide the recipes, making sure it's super simple,
Speaker 3: the type of thing that you can have prepared in advance,
Speaker 3: so you're not distracted when people are over, but just
Speaker 3: kind of addresses all of those different barriers. And it's
Speaker 3: been super inspiring to me to kind of lower my
Speaker 3: expectations on what it looks like to host and give
Speaker 3: me new ideas of how to host without spending a
Speaker 3: ton of money. Eric and I were just talking about
Speaker 3: this after we had a party the other day. We
Speaker 3: just really enjoyed that we would love to do something
Speaker 3: like this every month, and I told him about this
Speaker 3: account that I've been following, and it does just kind
Speaker 3: of inspire me at least to think about the ways
Speaker 3: in which I can open my home more regularly without
Speaker 3: it being super expensive or this big task that I
Speaker 3: have to get ready for just the low level, simple
Speaker 3: ways that we can engage in community in a more
Speaker 3: intimate way, so we don't have to be battling all
Speaker 3: the noise of a restaurant or spending maybe even more
Speaker 3: at a restaurant than we would have spent on hosting
Speaker 3: people in our house. So it's just our encouragement and
Speaker 3: find the accounts that are going to help to influence
Speaker 3: you in a good way towards community. Yes, yeah, So
Speaker 3: thanks everyone so much for listening We hope that this
Speaker 3: was inspiring to you to either go to somebody else's
Speaker 3: house and engage in their party and be the help
Speaker 3: that they need, or to host your own, even if
Speaker 3: it's just having two to three other people over, it's
Speaker 3: gonna be good for you. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The challenge meeting like if I get it, I'm an introvert.
Speaker 1: It's weird, but like lean in a few times a year.
Speaker 1: You don't have to be the party planner party thrower
Speaker 1: every month, but a few times a year. If you
Speaker 1: want people to invite you to their you know, gathering
Speaker 1: or build relationships with you, be the person who pursues
Speaker 1: relationships with people.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And something else that we love doing beyond just
Speaker 3: hosting and attending other parties and get togethers, is reading
Speaker 3: your kind reviews like this one from LW ninety six
Speaker 3: thirty one love the show five stars. Many personal finance
Speaker 3: podcasts are difficult for me to understand, and I usually
Speaker 3: turn them off feeling overwhelmed and doomed. Jen and Jill
Speaker 3: provide helpful tips and insights for people wanting to think
Speaker 3: about their personal finances with entry points that are accessible
Speaker 3: to anyone. Wow, thank you, I'm so glad we're easy
Speaker 3: to understand.
Speaker 1: That's so encouraging because sometimes I feel like I'm just
Speaker 1: out here with gobbledegook. So I'm glad it's coherent to
Speaker 1: somebody other than my brain.
Speaker 3: Agreed. Thanks everyone, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Please take a minute to leave a review if you
Speaker 1: found this help full. It helps potential new listeners know
Speaker 1: what our show is all about. And we'll see next time.
Speaker 1: Google Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. So the horrors persist.
Speaker 1: We are expecting a hurricane this week.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, this episode comes out mid October, but right
Speaker 3: now we are end of September.
Speaker 1: Which is height. September is height of hurricane season, and
Speaker 1: we've had one I think so far this year. That's
Speaker 1: kind of been troublesome. And so this is our second
Speaker 1: for the season, and we'll see how Yes.
Speaker 3: Your kids are going to be out of school for
Speaker 3: two days and depending on how the storm goes, potentially three.
Speaker 3: That's nice, iha. Not how are you preparing other than
Speaker 3: scrambling to figure out what you're going to do with
Speaker 3: your kids?
Speaker 1: Well, actually, I this year, maybe for the first time
Speaker 1: in my life, actually prepared my hurricane readiness kit in
Speaker 1: June when you're supposed to June first is actually the
Speaker 1: start of hurricane season, so that's when you should get
Speaker 1: all of your waters, your emergency food, toilet paper, paper, towels,
Speaker 1: generator or like maybe if we actually got a generator
Speaker 1: for the first time, nice and we got on Facebook
Speaker 1: marketplace cool. So yeah, I've like tangibly with stuff. We
Speaker 1: are prepared, so thankfully, it's just kind of figuring out,
Speaker 1: you know, just it's not figuring out what to do
Speaker 1: with the kids. It's the kids will have. They already
Speaker 1: just had a three day weekend because there was an
Speaker 1: in service like a teacher training day Monday and today's Tuesday.
Speaker 1: Kai actually went into school late today because he had
Speaker 1: a dentist appointment, so not even doing a full.
Speaker 3: Day today, hardly gone to school and then missing two
Speaker 3: days and then possibly going back for one day on Friday.
Speaker 1: And it should be it should not be that bad.
Speaker 3: For our area.
Speaker 1: It's not projected to be. But things all things, when
Speaker 1: they change, they changed in the last minute. So I
Speaker 1: think it's just the struggles we will have getting back
Speaker 1: into the routine. It'll be a delayed trauma.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, So we'll see. I'm most curious if
Speaker 3: we're going to end up getting evacuated.
Speaker 1: But well, we will have we will have a generator.
Speaker 1: That's all I can say. But we'll see, we'll let
Speaker 1: you know and go, probably not the next episode, but
Speaker 1: the episodes following that. How we fare?
Speaker 3: Yep, all right, good luck, godspeed. Here's the horrors not persisting.
Speaker 3: The horrors persist.